I'm Not a Liar- I'm Not

Ch 2

Kids run through the halls calling to friends and rush to get to their lockers before the bell rings. Our own group of friends is sitting around the bench outside our class talking and laughing.

I remember when it was just us, just me and Riley.

We had met in kindergarten and we became friends when Mrs. Mathews noticed that I walked home, alone. She started taking me home herself, and Riley was so kind.

She shared her lunch with me when mom forgot to pack mine, which was always, and she played with me on the playground when no one else would. She made me happy.

I didn't think of my missing mom so much or that strange lady dad brought around the house.

Farkle came around in third grade, just as strange as Riley, only in a different way. He liked me too- said he was in love with both of us. He didn't think me odd in the slightest, or stupid. I had another friend.

But despite that, we were still Riley and Maya, best friends.

Now we're in middle school, and there is Huckleberry and Zay. Huckleberry is Riley's first crush. She talks about him all the time. He comes with us places.

It's not so much Riley and Maya anymore.

I swallow hard as I watch her sit next to Lucas, making wide doe eyes at him, and he smiles that perfect smile. My hands tighten into fists and my nails cut into my palms as I feel that familiar sensation in my chest.

It's not supposed to happen here, I have Riley and she's supposed to scare away the shadows.

But Lucas is sitting so close to her, they're all so close to her, that they are creating their own shadows.

She's not just my sun anymore- I have to share her.

Guilt tightens my chest. They are my friends too; I enjoy having them around and I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Huckleberry is a good boy, probably the closest thing to perfect out there in this world, and Riley couldn't crush on a better guy. Well, maybe Farkle, but he's just… Farkle.

Her bright eyes look up to me, shining, but then they immediately turn concerned. She stands, takes a step towards me, and holds my hand.

The tension dissipates making my clenched fist relax, and a smile forms on my face.

"Are you okay?" She asks, drawing attention to me from the group.

I grip her hand more firmly, ignoring a slight sting in my palm, and nudge her with my shoulder.

"I'm fine." I say.

She nods, but doesn't let go of my hand, instead, holding on until the bell rings to signal first period.

"Hello class," Mr. Mathews greets, standing in front of the chalkboard. "Today we will be discussing the down fall of all the greatest empires."

My eyes draw over to Riley sitting one seat away, but her eyes are locked on Lucas and he is smiling right back at her, not even paying attention to the lesson.

Whenever someone leaves me, they gradually grow distant. My father, for instance, sometimes brought over a woman. She was kind, and pretty, but she talked down to me. Sure I was five, but I understood enough that she was not supposed to be there. This is all before I met Riley, so I was at the apartment most of the time whenever I wasn't in school.

Sometimes I would wander around the park or into the subway; there were a lot of cool things in there and the performers were really nice to me. It's not like my parents ever noticed if I was gone or not. You have to be there to notice.

I was never really close to my father, but he was my dad. And one day when I went home, happy from all the excitement of the underground, he was gone. Packed up and went away, without so much as a goodbye, with that woman that talked down to me.

The next person to leave me was my mom. She started working longer and coming home later. Then when she did get home, she would go into the tallest cabinet and take down a large bottle full of a dark red liquid.

I was too young to understand then why she would stumble around and start wrecking the apartment, but I do now.

She is not physically gone, but I no longer have her. Everyone in my life has left me… except Riley.

But am I always going to have her? We promised long ago that we would be best friends forever no matter what, but what's a promise between two kids, one who lives in a land of fairytales, and the other who never heard one?

Again, the familiar clenching sensation is in my chest, and I feel like I'm choking. Like I can't breathe. This happens sometimes.

My hand rises into the air of its own accord and he breaks off is surprise of my participation.

"Yes, Maya?"

"Mr. Mathews," I say, causing people to turn their attention to me. "Does everything good have to come to an end?" I ask, forcing my eyes away from Riley, who had turned away from Huckleberry when I spoke.

I think that this was the first puzzle piece that I unintentionally laid out. Part of a picture, but meaningless by itself.

Mr. Mathews regards me closely.

"Maya, why do you think that all these great empires fell?"

I shrug.

"Farkle." He calls.

"Because of their incompetence and the ruler's inability to control his people." He says darkly in that voice he uses when talking about taking over the world.

"Wrong!" he says. "Lucas."

"Um… Because they didn't listen to the people?"

"Close." He says. "These great empires, these kingdoms, fell because problems arose and they weren't quick enough to fix them. Sure a lot of them were taken over by invading nations, but there were problems before even that. Even without outside forces, because they didn't address the problem, those kingdoms would have collapsed."

I look down to my desk and clench my fists, feeling my nails bite into the already broken the skin.

I feel cold again, like the sun has already gone home and I'm staring out the window of my fire escape and listening to my drunken mother lumbering around the apartment.

The bell rings and I stand stiffly from my chair. A soft voice makes me pause at the door.

"Maya?" Riley asks tentatively. "Are you really okay?"

I turn and see her standing there, worried with her eyebrows furrowed. The rest of my friends stand behind her like shadows, all worried. About me.

I hold out my arms silently and she steps into them easily and hugs me tight.

But to my horror, the darkness doesn't dissipate at her touch- it only squeezes my chest tighter and it feels like I'm suffocating.

My arm itches like crazy, the urge almost blinding.

This isn't supposed to happen- not with her, she's supposed to take them all away. She's supposed to be my safe haven.

I rip myself away from her with wide eyes. It's not working; she's not saving me. My face goes blank and I wipe all expression from it- they must have only seen my panic for a moment…

And I lie.

"I'm fine." Something like fear enters her eyes, but I turn away. The bell is about to ring and we will be late for our next class.

I walk out of the room scratching at my forearm.

A/N: Hey, I know it's been a while since I looked at this one but I'm looking at working on a bunch of old stories again. So, I don't know if anyone still looks at GMW fics, but here's the next chapter. It was also written years ago but I'm trying to get them all up to date.

If you're reading this, please review!

~Silver~