Chapter 22 – End of First Year
A.N. Thank you everyone for being so awesome and patient and for coming back to read the last chapter. Just to say, if anyone was following me on twitter, my account got suspended this morning (as far as I can tell, for rt about #DisabilityPrideMonth… good work twt! /s) so if you want to drop me a follow, and find out a bit more about my writing, sketching and general nonsense you still can, just on my backup account seryph_fiction
Anyway, on with the chapter!
Wednesday 10th May 1972
In every other moment of the past eight months, Sirius Black had been one of James' favourite people. Looking at the smug git now though, just in this moment, he could have cheerfully throttled him. Choosing to ignore Sirius, he turned back to the wide-eyed Peter.
'It's alright Pete.'
'But… how can you be sure?' The small boy was almost stuttering and James almost winced, waiting for Sirius to explode like he always did. But he was true to his world, and didn't snap, just nodding hard.
'Because I am. There's no doubt.'
James weighed back in, 'I agree with him Pete.'
Peter shook his head again, looking from one to the other, almost pleadingly, 'But he's our friend. We trusted him. And he was right – right there!' He pointed a shaking finger at Remus' empty bed.
'And he is still our friend, and we still trust him.' James felt his own tone turn to steel, 'And we aren't going to tell anyone, right? You promised.'
'I –' Pete's voice squeaked, breaking in a way that normally made Sirius snort with laughter, but today the silver-eyed boy just leant forward.
'Go on, Pettigrew. Say the words.'
Peter swallowed hard, watery eyes darting between them again, 'I – I solemnly swear, upon my magic, that I will not tell anyone about Remus.'
'About Remus what?' James leant forward now too, determined.
'About Remus being a werewolf – I really won't I promise.'
'Well, if you do you will lose all your magic forever.' Sirius said casually, standing up and stretching. James was absolutely certain Sirius had grown again, at least an inch a week it had felt like since his hand healed. He knew in reality though they were all taller than they had been in September. Remus said it was the Highland air.
Remus. James' sighed, pushing a hand through his already messy hair. Sirius' plan was fairly simple in principle, they would track the moons, make sure that for the week before and in the days after Remus wasn't caught out by anyone else, and generally make his life as easy as possible. All without Remus himself working out that they knew, at least for now. James enjoyed a caper as much as the next twelve-year-old boy, but even he recognised they would get maybe two months before Remus realised they were up to something. This according to Sirius, was "not a problem, because there's only one moon left before the holidays".
This went against James' nature on more than one account. Firstly, he was not given to deceit. Not of this kind, yes of course he would lie to teachers or his parents about homework or a prank, or how that priceless vase ended up in pieces, but not about important things. Secondly, he was unbelievably bad at lying. He lacked Remus' eloquence, or Sirius' way of just letting the truth twist itself up and snap of its own accord without ever actually having to tell a straight up lie. And thirdly, what about the June, July and August moons? Did that mean Sirius wasn't planning on seeing any of the rest of them for two whole months? He pushed the memory of Sirius sending his owl to live with Remus, and the months of blistered skin after Christmas firmly to one side. No, he would have to come up with a plan of his own, and he had just over a month to do it.
He turned back to the other boys, opening his mouth to for a question and freezing at the sight of Sirius producing a half sized collapsing cauldron from his trunk and holding it out to Peter.
'– set it up in the bathroom, and I'll show you how to not blow it up.'
James shot Sirius a look of horrified confusion. Sirius rolled his eyes, the fingers of his right-hand twitching in the way that the secret language of Jim and Siri said look, you told me to be nice, and this might shut him up.
James shrugged back, can't hurt, and started to rummage in his trunk for his own potions book, three heads had to be better than two. Especially with Pete's dreadful potions marks.
Friday 26th May
They knew.
Remus had no idea how they knew, or who they must have already told. But he was certain they knew. There was the way James had told Sirius off for the past three nights for keeping Remus up late, slipping out of the window as they always did – especially near the moon. There was the way Peter was being completely and utterly normally to him, even last night when Remus had snapped badly when Peter had taken the last venison sausage and then asked if anyone minded, because Remus – and the wolf though he would never admit it – did mind very much. And it was somewhat beyond even Sirius' normal gallantry to go down the table himself to find more sausages for Remus, and yet that was exactly what he had done. On Tuesday, James had even somehow managed to con a house-elf into making a thermos of tea for Remus, who had overslept and apparently "looked peaky".
A tiny, very reasonable voice in the back of Remus' mind told him that, while yes, they might know. He had also told them that he and his mother had some rare congenital disease that had regular flare ups and perhaps, just perhaps, they noticed the dark circles under his eyes and were trying to take care of him. Yeah, thought Remus, because twelve-year-olds are known for their empathy. No, the only answer was that they knew, and they were… what? Trying to placate the monster? Attempting to protect themselves? Or had whoever they told, told them to act normal around him until the situation could be dealt with. Perhaps this close to the end of term, it was easier for Dumbledore not to expel him publicly, but just tell him at the end of term, and then it could be explained away that his parents had decided to educate him elsewhere in the new scholastic year.
It rather took the strain off revising somewhat, knowing no matter his end of year results, he wouldn't be coming back in September. He bit his lip, through his lip. At least the tang of blood was a distraction from the agony in his chest when he thought about never returning to Hogwarts again, never climbing out of the window again –
Remus froze in his bed. Habit made him leave the curtains an inch open, so he could see if Sirius had slipped out when he woke between rough moon filled dreams. He froze, because a shadow crossed in front of the window, Sirius.
Sirius slipped out through the window – they'd had to look up a lubricating spell for the hinges after a while, though James and Peter wouldn't stop laughing the whole time – and left it open. Their code. An open invitation to join him. Remus sighed and swung his legs off the bed, sometimes you just had to go where Sirius led, and pray.
He was leaning against the stone railing, a stolen t-shirt of James' replaced his silk pyjama shirt his parents sent him with, staring… Southeast, Remus' exhausted mind provided.
'Who is it?' He asked softly, resting his elbows on the stone next to the black-haired boy.
'Hmm, that obvious?' Sirius was laconic, a good and bad sign, he pointed, connecting nine stars with the tip of his long – finally healed – fingers, 'Aquila. The eagle who stole the boy Ganymede, most beautiful of all mortals, for Zeus.'
'I am consistently surprised you have any room left in your mind for new information.' It came out harsher than Remus had intended, even as he knew he shouldn't be angry at Sirius for his cleverness.
Sirius simply nodded, 'As am I.'
'So. Who is it?'
'Mon Père, his middle name.'
Remus couldn't help a little laugh, 'Orion – the hunter – Aquila – the eagle – Black? They really were running on a theme, weren't they?'
'Oui, and me too. Sirius Orion. Sirius being a hunting dog used by Orion, who could never fail to catch what it hunted.' He dragged his eyes away from the stars for a moment to meet Remus', 'Still reckon I'd make a terrible Seeker.'
The transformation would hit him in less than twenty-four hours. No matter how hard Remus worked to ignore the wolf the rest of the month, there was no avoiding it this close, and what the wolf told him made no sense. Sirius wasn't afraid. He didn't smell of fear, his heart wasn't fast. He was just… the same Sirius as always.
Remus looked away first, slumping more on the stone, thoroughly defeated.
He froze at the feeling of those long fingers squeezing his shoulder firmly. His head whipped around to stare at Sirius, even if James hadn't noticed, Remus had that Sirius avoided all forms of uninvited touch and here he was initiating it.
Silver eyes held gold for a long time – at least a thousand years, Remus was sure – before Sirius spoke, soft and clear, 'It doesn't change a thing. Not for James or I. You never have to speak about it, not if you don't want to. And if you do, I am not going anywhere. Ever.'