Derek was not ready to face Stiles' dad so when John poked his head in, he pretended to be still asleep until he was sure that the man had left for work.
Soon after Stiles went to make them breakfast but Derek stayed in bed for a minute longer before he got up to take a long shower. He did feel better after that and caffeine and sugar did the rest but there was still an uneasy feeling lingering in his stomach. Everything was just a little bit too much at the moment.
"How did you sleep?" Stiles asked.
"Better than expected." Derek took a sip and let the coffee warm him from the inside. "I have to tell Laura that your dad knows."
He was not looking forward to that conversation. The more people knew about them the more dangerous it got for them. Letting John in on their secret had not been part of the plan. As Stiles' dad they would have told him eventually but now was not a good moment. Maybe with a bigger, more stable pack.
Laura was waiting for a chance to tell Erica and with that most likely Boyd as well. If they could avoid telling Isaac Derek didn't know but he doubted it. Isaac was too close with Erica to hide a magical healing from him.
"I can talk to her," Stiles offered. "If you tell her you'll just blame it on yourself."
"It was my decision to tell him," Derek reminded them.
"You had no other choice." Stiles stuffed half a waffle into their mouth and kept talking around it. "He needed answers, we had to give him something."
Derek liked the we in that statement. He smiled into his coffee.
"But he's taking it well. Didn't even try to shoot your wolfy ass this morning." Stiles nodded with puffed-out cheeks and powdered sugar on their lips.
Derek knew that John had questions and he was not looking forward to that conversation either but for now the man was at work and he and Stiles had the day for themselves.
"Anything you want to do today?" Stiles asked. "Since I'm in town, I want to visit Melissa at some point but otherwise I have nothing planned."
Derek threw them a questioning look.
"Scott's mom," Stiles explained. "She works at the hospital. Scott would have loved to be here this week as well but he couldn't get a few days off so I want to at least see Melissa."
"Call her?" Derek suggested. "Ask when it's a good time and we build up from there?"
Turned out that tomorrow was a good time.
Nursing his coffee, Derek listened to their conversation. He didn't know this woman but what he got from this call was that she was genuinely happy to hear from Stiles and she scolded them for not telling her in advance that they would be in town.
She was at work and didn't have time to talk but she was looking forward to meeting Derek.
"So," Stiles said when they had ended the call. "We have an invitation for dinner tomorrow."
Derek wasn't sure if he was up to meet more people but Melissa was some kind of mother figure for Stiles so he agreed to come with them tomorrow.
Which still left them with the question of what to do today. Derek felt restless but he didn't know what to do with the urge to move. Suddenly everything was too much. The kitchen was too small, Stiles was too close, and Derek couldn't breathe.
"I'm going for a walk." Derek stood and was at the door before Stiles could protest. "It's just … I need to be alone for a while."
He grabbed his jacket and then he was out of the door, walking down the street in a random direction. With his fists deep in the pockets of his jacket and head ducked he fell into a brisk walk. He didn't care where he was going, he just needed to move. He would have liked to slip into his fur and just run but he couldn't do that in broad daylight in a residential neighborhood. So he walked.
He felt Stiles' eyes on his back but they didn't try to hold him back and didn't come after him either. Derek let out a breath, rolled his shoulders, and kept walking.
He didn't pay attention to where he was going but he avoided crowded areas on instinct so instead of heading into town he drifted more and more to the outskirts.
Eventually, he found himself on the path leading into the preserve.
Realizing where he was, Derek stopped. He stood there for long minutes, jaw working and claws digging into his palms until he drew blood. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to walk up this path. He didn't want to see what was waiting for him at the end.
He couldn't make himself leave either.
In the end, he did walk up the path.
The house was still standing. A blackened shell of a house. It was looking down on him through broken windows, the door a jagged mouth just waiting to swallow him whole.
Derek drew in a shaky breath.
The last time he'd been here, the air had been filled with fire and smoke. There had been fire trucks and police cars, lights flashing, and people running around.
Derek remembered Laura next to him but everything else was blurred and distant.
He did remember John, though. He'd draped a blanket over both of them. Derek couldn't recall what John had said, neither here nor later at the station, but it had been comforting.
However, now the clearing was empty except for the house. Nature had already covered up the tracks of the fire trucks and the patches of burned grass.
When he stepped closer, Derek caught the smell of ash and old fire. It left an oily film in the back of his throat, making him gag. He almost turned on his heel but then he stepped through the hole that used to be the front door.
Derek walked through the rooms. Some walls were gone and in some rooms the ceiling had come down, allowing a clear view on the upper level. The roof had partly given in. What was still standing was touched by the fire and later by the water, leaving behind only debris and rubbish.
At some point, Laura had been here to see if anything was salvageable. What little she'd found was now stored in a box in her room. There was nothing left to find for Derek here.
He still walked through every room. He let his fingertips run over a ruined dresser, he opened doors of cupboards barely hanging on the wall.
His feet carried him up the broken stairs to where his room had been.
Half of his room wasn't even there any longer. It was missing a wall and the floor had a huge hole in it, making it dangerous to set a foot in here.
Derek figured that he would survive if he crashed through the floor and carefully made his way into the room. He didn't even know what he hoped to find here. He couldn't think of anything of value he might want to keep.
There were still some of his clothes in the closet but they reeked of smoke and he hurried to close the door. He had another look around but then he took the shortcut through the non-existing wall and landed outside on a patch of grass.
There was nothing left for him here.
With the house in his back, he had a look around. He was in the middle of the forest. Here he could run.
Derek stripped and then he was running. Clean air in his lungs, mossy ground under his paws. His head cleared and he just ran.
The house was casting a long shadow when he finally returned. From afar he heard his phone ringing but he was not quick enough to get the call. Derek came to a skidding halt next to his pile of clothes. He hurried to shift and didn't bother with getting dressed before he checked his phone. Two missed calls and eight messages from Stiles.
Derek didn't waste time with reading the messages, he knew that they were variations of "Where are you?", and called Stiles.
"Derek?" Stiles answered immediately. "Where the fuck are you?"
"I'm at the house." Derek had to force out the words, he'd shifted so quickly, his body wasn't quite functional yet. At least that was what he told himself. He was not choking on emotions when he heard the worry in Stiles' voice.
"Did you walk out there?" Stiles wondered but dismissed the question a second later. "I'm coming to get you. Just stay there. Can you do that?"
The words were just bubbling out of them.
"I didn't mean to worry you." Suddenly tired Derek dropped to his ass. Grass tickled his bare skin. Right, he was still naked. He probably should change that soon.
"It's okay, I'm just glad that you're okay." Stiles paused. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Derek let out a sigh. "I just needed to …"
"Yeah," Stiles made. "Just stay put until I get you. No running, okay?"
"Okay."
It was almost six in the afternoon, Derek had spent hours out here. Stiles must have been worried sick.
Reading their messages confirmed that yes, Stiles had been worried. They had wondered if something had happened to Derek and eventually they had wondered if Derek had left for real.
Please come back, was the last message they had written. We can work this out just please, don't leave like this
Derek read that message over and over again.
Stiles loved him, they cared about him, and they wanted him to stay with them. Yesterday Stiles had said that they wanted to join the pack, that they wanted to be with Derek in every way possible. It was too much, Derek didn't know how to deal with all this.
It all condensed in the pure despair in Stiles' message.
When Stiles found him, he was still sitting buck naked next to his pile of clothes, phone in hand but vision too blurry to make out the words any longer.
"Derek?" Stiles came around the corner. "Derek!"
They ran over to him and fell to their knees, hands running over his shoulders, searching for injuries. Derek almost laughed at how ridiculous that was. Any injury would have long healed up by now.
"I'm not hurt," Derek said nevertheless.
"Why are you sitting around naked?"
Right, he should put on some pants.
Stiles handed him his clothes and kept a close eye on him while he got dressed.
"I was worried," they said in a meek voice. "I thought …"
"I would never leave you like that."
"You better not." Stiles closed the gap between them and caught him in a fierce hug. Derek hugged them back. He held them close and buried his nose in their neck. He was alone. His alpha, his pack, was on the other side of the country but Stiles was here. They were here to hold him, to catch him.
Derek closed his eyes and just breathed in their scent. Stiles didn't smell like pack but their scent was familiar and comforting. And soon they would smell like pack.
"Ready to go home?" Stiles loosened their hold on them but they were ready to dive right back into a full-body hug if Derek needed them to.
Derek didn't trust his voice so he just nodded.
"Good." Stiles switched from hugging to one arm around Derek's middle without losing contact. "Dad's worried too. He feels guilty for upsetting you."
"He didn't upset me." Derek slung an arm over Stiles' shoulders in return and together they walked around the house to where Stiles had parked the car. "And neither did you. It's just …"
"Shitty circumstances, I get it."
They got in the car and for once Stiles did not ask all the questions clearly on their mind. Not that there was much to tell, Derek was pretty sure that Stiles had already connected the dots and had a clear picture of what had happened.
"Change of plans by the way." Stiles broke the silence when they reached to outskirts of the town. "We're not going out today."
Derek had totally forgotten that they were supposed to have dinner with Stiles' dad.
"Greasy delivery food and a tub of ice cream for dessert." Stiles threw him a grin. "Soul food. Sounds good?"
A/N Camp July starts this week and I'm not sure about next weekend's update. Might have to skip that one.