TRIGGER WARNING

Before starting this chapter, I have to warn people that this chapter (and the next chapter) will talk about eating disorders. As someone that has someone that has a past with mental illnesses, including eating disorders, I wanted to talk about it. But I understand that this can be a sensitive topic for many. I don't want people to feel like they have to read this so I will be including a quick summary at the end that goes over the basics of what happens in this chapter. Again, only read what you're comfortable with.

DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN AIKATSU

Momo's POV

I stretched out my arms, letting out a yawn. Though the Twinkle Star cup was amazing to participate in, units weren't really my thing. In the future I would like to try TRUST again but for now it was a lot being in an active unit. In my opinion, SELF very much deserved the winner title. The two of them displayed that they understood each other. Though not fully, they were learning. It was a sign of progress that being a unit was going to do them good. Winning was only the start for them.

I quietly opened the door to my dorm so that I wouldn't wake up Fumiko. It was surprising that she didn't join the competition. I guess it was hard for her to find a partner. She did have an extremely high ranking compared to most of us. A lot of people would get intimidated by that. It's not the same as talking to her in a neutral state. Because of Char and I, she had worked extra hard to catch up to us on the stage. That would make it hard for any first year she knew to feel confident in joining her in a widely respected competition.

Stepping in, I used my phone's light to help direct me to my side. I was careful to not make too much noise as I was getting a few things for me to clean myself up before bed. I was in and out as fast as possible. It wasn't too late but I felt sort of bad if I woke her up. I didn't hear her stir in her sleep so I think I was in the clear.

After finishing my nightly routines, I found myself in the same situation of trying to quietly sneak into our room. I threw my dirty clothes into a basket and placed all my hygiene products in their respective locations. Done with all my organizing I started to tuck myself into bed. It didn't take too long until I heard something at our door that shocked me. I turned to Fumiko's side of the room, realizing that her blanket was too low for her to actually be in it.

Slowly, the door opened with my roommate coming in. From the dimmed light in the hallway I could see that she was still in her training clothes. I sat up to show her that I was still awake so that she wouldn't have to sneak in. She turned on the light. "Sorry, did I wake you up? I thought that you would have come back later. How was the Twinkle Star cup?"

"No I was just about to so it's not that big of a deal. And the Inoue sisters with their unit SELF won. I was a bit sad that we didn't win but we had fun and they were good. Did you not watch?" That was a bit strange knowing that Fumiko loved to watch Aikatsu. She was so excited when we first heard about it.

"I forgot that it was today. By the time I remembered it was already over. Haha. I'll probably just watch the re-uploads of your stages. I can't wait to see you and Shouta performing together. Hayate said something about having a good partner too, right? Who did that turn out to be? Were they good as he hyped up?"

"It was Yu-kun."

"Huh?! Yu-kun as in Karasuma Yuki?! Your childhood friend and the Headmistress' son?! That Yu-kun? With our Hayate?" I nodded. "I missed a stage between Yuki and Hayate?! Boooo!"

"Trust me, that was the least surprising thing. I hate to admit it but Yu-kun was a pretty good motivator to cause Snapshot to improve immensely. He didn't do too bad if I have to say." She chuckled, going over to her side.

"I can imagine how you react to that. I'll definitely check them out too. Along with the Inoue sisters' performance. Makes me wish I participated." There was a second where I saw that she struggled to keep the conversation going. Looking at what she was doing I wondered why she was still in her training clothes.

"Were you training all this time? I don't recall you having any auditions and slash or jobs today. Definitely not something that goes this late."

"N-No I was just hanging out with friends. Then I decided to train a bit then lost track of time. Don't worry." There was something that bothered me about her answer. But I left it be.

"Okay. Just, make sure you watch out. Wouldn't want you to be too overworked. Regulation is important."

"I know." She put her stuff down, grabbing clothes to change into. "I'm going to get ready for bed now. You can go to sleep ahead of me. I'll be back soon."

"Alright..." She didn't wait for my answer before leaving. I sat still, wondering why I felt so uneasy. My eyes drifted to her side of the room. There wasn't a lot that was different from the usual mess. That was never too big of an issue between us. She was always trying to take many things on at once that it reflected in her room's organization style.

I tilted my head, finding one thing out of place. 'What happened to the dolphin I won her?'

Fumiko was a popular girl. Not that that was a bad thing. There were plenty of classical examples where the more popular and/or power that people were reflected negatively in one's personality. I've seen a fair amount of public figures fall under the same category. She wasn't like that. To me, and many others, we put a lot of faith in her ability to grow as both an idol and a person because of her brightness.

I watched her from a distance in the cafeteria. Today, as well, she was surrounded by people with smiling faces. They kept talking that I was sure that their food had already gotten cold by now. There was nothing that showed that she was acting differently. Despite all the faith I had in her, I couldn't shake that something was off yesterday.

"Have you noticed anything... different about Fumiko recently?" Shouta took a sip of his water. He looked in the direction that I was watching her. After a few seconds he turned back to me.

"No? Why do you say that?" I shook my head.

"Must be my imagination. Anyways, um- uh- sorry I lost my train of thought for a second." The whole thing with Fumiko was getting to my head. She was fine so I didn't have to worry about her. "Right, so you wanted to talk about an interview show you got invited on. They wanted to come to Starlight and see how you work. That's all, correct?"

"Yeah. Are you okay Momo-san? It's not like you to space out."

"I know. Just thinking about a few things at once. But about your interview, I think it would be good to take it. If you're comfortable with it, those interviews show people behind the scenes in a calm manner. Starlight is very open to camera crew, once given permission. It can work to assist other students in exposure as well. Though it does all come down to you being comfortable enough to show your camera like life."

"Camera like life? Do you mean the life I show to a camera?" I nodded.

"If you think about it an idol has many aspects to their life and what is portrayed. To simplify, let's reduce it to three ways. One, the personality on stage. You, specifically, show no fear and unlimited potential when on stage. Two, the personality you show off stage but still to an audience. Think of this like your public image. Sweet and timid. Three, the personality that is true to yourself. It may not be the prettiest or something you want to show people but it's you."

"And how would you describe that third one for me?" I chuckled a bit.

"That's something that only you know. In other words, the way you picture yourself. Again I was only simplifying the amount of personas that you may show depending on the situation so in theory you may be someone completely different to me or to your family. You are only your true self with what you portray yourself as."

He pursed his lips while tilting his head a few times, side to side. "In one way I can see what you mean but it also sounds really complicated."

"Fair enough. I'm not the most versed in studying personalities or the human brain beyond biological function. All I meant was that for your interview it can be a bit scary to permit a camera to follow you around but it doesn't mean that the audience will learn every single thing about you. You are allowed to show only what you feel comfortable with."

"So would you be okay with this type of interview?" I leaned back into my chair. There wasn't a lot that I hid from the public. If anything it was more like my camera personality was more fun than my regular self. Though I do suppose it was a bit of a hindrance if I constantly had to put up an act. And be aware of my surroundings more than I already do.

On the other hand, interviews that went beyond backstage made fans feel more attached to their idols. It would also show that it isn't all fun and games. A lot of people are surprised whenever they see into Starlight's walls and the training that goes on. It was not only a good show of character but in familiarizing oneself to the idea of watching how one acts in the public eye. We could never be too careful in what we do after all.

"I say I would agree after discussing possible restrictions. I wouldn't want to impose on any of the other students as well so I would have to put out a notice beforehand to inform people. Along with other things I just would want to talk with the one in charge to determine what is desired and how I can achieve such."

"I see." He thought about it seriously. Shouta may be a natural when it came to being an idol but there was still a lot that he didn't understand about Aikatsu. Times like this I loved giving him my support. "Thank you for your advice. I'll think about it a bit more before I give my response."

"It's always good to think things over. Let me know what you decide in the end."

"Okay. What about Momo-san? Do you have any auditions or interviews coming up?"

"Not anything in the near future. Like you, and the many others that participated, because of the Twinkle Star cup I've been receiving many offers. I want to be able to go through all of them to pick out what is best for me." I was completely swamped with offers. In such a short time frame many people were already trying to get the two of us on their program. Some of them were more appealing than others. Overall there were so many that I didn't get close to ranking and organizing them all. Just thinking about scheduling them all is going to be a task in itself.

"That sounds very much like you. We're both going to be very busy in the coming days."

"It makes things exciting, personally. We should value the time we have together before we get completely swamped." I finished off my cup of water.

Now that we had finished our meal it was usually time that we went to the library or a music room. A little thing we did sometimes after eating to give our stomachs time to digest comfortably while still working on something. Sometimes we would just talk or do homework. It didn't really matter to the two of us.

"Oh Fumiko-san, are you done eating too?" I placed my tray down with the other used trays, turning my head at Shouta suddenly speaking. Fumiko was standing not too far away from us. By herself.

"O-oh. Y-yeah. My stomach started hurting so I'm just gonna go to the washroom for a bit. You two can, you can go ahead to wherever you were heading to." She was uncharacteristically nervous. I assumed it to be because she needed to go to the washroom. Fumiko left pretty quickly that I didn't get a chance to respond to her.

"You're right. She was acting differently." The two of us watched her leave. It wasn't just me thinking that something was off with my roommate.

"Momo-chan! Momo-chan!" Hayato rushed into the library whispering loudly for me. I lifted my head up seeing him rushing towards me. I stood up, immediately recognizing that something was wrong. He rested his hands on the table completely out of breath.

"What's the matter?"

"Fumiko-chan she- she collapsed. She's in the nurse's room now." I roughly packed up my things. Getting into the hallway we were briskly walking towards the infirmary.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were walking and talking outside when she started to get a bit light headed. I tried to tell her to sit down but she kept insisting that she was fine. Next thing I know she lost consciousness. Luckily Bepp-sensei was nearby to help take her to the nurse's office. Right now he's calling her parents and he told me that I should leave it up to him but I don't really know. C'est la cata. Je suis tellement inquiet, que devrions-nous faire? Tu penses qu'elle va s'en sortir?" (This is a disaster. I'm so nervous, what should we do? Do you think she'll be okay?)

I stopped walking to look him in the eye. He would speak in French when he stressed out that it was up to me to calm him down. I didn't need two people fainting on me. "Snapshot, take a deep breath. It's normal to feel concerned for her but you need to calm down as well. Bepp-sensei and the nurse will handle everything. We're just going to double check on her. We don't know what her condition is so it may not be anything extreme. If it is something serious then we'll support her. Understood?"

He took a few deep breaths. Though I was trying to calm him down, I was incredibly nervous. It wasn't only that she was feeling lightheaded, she fainted. That meant her body was incapable of fixing itself without fully shutting down first. The little energy needed for her to walk was too much for her. That's not a good sign. Paired with the weird feeling I felt the past few days wasn't helping.

Outside the nurse's office were both Auntie Aoi and Mr. Bepp. They were quietly talking in a way that passing students wouldn't hear. Seeing us approach they broke off.

"How is she?"

They looked once at each other. "When was the last time Fumiko-honey ate?"

"She ate with..." I trailed off thinking about it. Because yesterday she had an audition that ended late, we ate dinner separately. Then the day before that she ate with her friends but left early because of, what she told us, stomach aches. The third day prior to today was the day of the Twinkle Stay cup. Neither of us were around to testify if she did eat.

"Fumiko-chan is still asleep. Which is good because it looks like she's seemed to have been exhausted. Hopefully when she wakes up we can ask her a few more questions to figure things out." Hearing that I started to think of possible reasons for all of this.

Exhaustion and stomach aches are two very common symptoms for many health issues. Not to mention that Fumiko often does throw herself into her work. This may be a result of that attitude. I wasn't a doctor for a reason. There were too many factors that could be in play right now. As her roommate and friend I felt bad that I couldn't determine anything.

The nurse walked out of the room with a clipboard. "Watanabe-san has woken up. She is still a bit groggy but is okay to talk. It's for the best if we don't bombard her and let her rest a bit more."

"Momo-chan, Ceasire-kun, Bepp-sensei and I are going to talk to her first. We'll see how she is before you can talk to her. You know, ease her up a bit. Does that sound okay?" Snapshot looked to me. I nodded.

"We understand. We'll wait out here until she feels okay to let us in." They nodded at us, going in with the nurse.

I tried my best not to show my concern as I knew that it would only freak out Snapshot. It was good news that she woke up. I focused on that part and that she was in good hands to keep myself calm. But after Mr. Bepp's question I was faced with the idea that I haven't been paying attention to her despite her being right beside me. What if Snapshot wasn't with her when she fainted? If she was out on a job. On stage?

'No, no I can't be thinking this way'. She woke up and the adults were speaking with her. They would be the ones to help solve things. I wasn't the type of person to be helping her. Hopefully this will only be a one-time thing where I wouldn't have to intervene past today. 'Fumiko, what is going on in your mind?'

It took a bit of time until they came back out. I have no idea how long but it felt like forever. They didn't look too relieved after talking to her. I didn't need to ask them the details since Snapshot beat me to it. There was some hesitation in their posture before they answered.

"She's fine. She's aware of her situation. But I think it's best if we leave her here for today. It'll be the best place where she can relax without anything bothering her."

"But what's her diagnosis? Why did she faint? Was it because she-"

"Momo-chan." Auntie Aoi put a hand on my shoulder. She glanced back at Snapshot equally as nervous. "I'd like to think that Fumiko-chan is very lucky to have you two by her side. But we have no right to reveal her medical condition. If you want to find that out, she'll have to tell you both herself."

My shoulders sank. I had to respect that right to privacy that she had. The fact that she was staying in the infirmary made it a lot worse than what Auntie Aoi made it sound. People don't just rest in these kinds of areas. If she just needed to rest up more than she would be okay with doing that in our dorms.

"Alright Auntie Aoi. " I knew that it was illogical of me to argue back to ease myself. It was even worse for me to start running through possible illnesses that she could have. With my limited knowledge in the medical field I was no better than a random person on the internet. Worrying myself down a hole like I did often. I had to stop myself. The only way I can do that is through studying.

'Just wait, Fumiko. I'll find out exactly how to help you. You'll be back on your feet before you know it.'

I placed a freshly made bowl of rice porridge on Fumiko's table. With the use of some hot packs, consideration of material and timing, the bowl was still really hot. It was best to eat this kind of food fresh. And even though it wouldn't be nearly as good as what grandma or mom would make it, it was still important to give Fumiko something warm and easy to digest.

After some research I believe that the cause of her problems was either the norovirus and/ or any another form of stomach discomfort. There were still many possibilities but taking into account common rates crossed over with her lifestyle made something along the lines of norovirus to be more likely. I did take the extra effort into researching less common cases just in case but her symptoms, at this point, were not significant for my unlicensed medical knowledge to come to a proper conclusion.

That would explain why she appeared to have stomach pains the other day. And when people are in pain, it can make them more sensitive to emotional fluctuations. That would explain why I thought that she was acting strange. Finally, due to the body fighting off infection without any assistance, it led to her being exhausted. It was a bit extreme that she fainted but given her lifestyle it wouldn't be surprising if she was tired on a near daily basis.

Luckily, with some time, medicine and proper maintenance, stomach problems can be solved easily in the early stages. Hence the bowl of rice porridge today. Even if I'm wrong about her condition, it is still good for her to eat something considering that she had been in the infirmary for a good portion of the day.

The door carefully opened. I perked up knowing that she must have received the okay to come back to the dorms. I resisted the urge to run up to her as she walked in. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." She paused seeing the bowl I made her. "What's this?"

"I made you it. I thought that you would be a bit hungry. It's still fresh so please feel free to help yourself." She turned away from it.

"I-I'm, I'm not hungry. Thank you though. Really."

"Are you sure? I tried to recreate my mom's flavour. Though I'm not the best chef."

"Really I'm fine. I'm not hungry anyways."

"How can you not be hungry you-"

"I'm fine, okay?!" I was taken back by how she shouted. Fumiko was a naturally a loud person but I've never heard her shout at me before. The way her skin turned slightly red, her eyes bulging, her messy orange hair. All of it was new to me. It was scary.

She took a step back. She didn't mean to yell at me. It was in the moment of the thing. I shouldn't have pushed for her to eat so soon after getting discharged from the infirmary. "S-sorry I didn't mean to force you. I just wanted to-"

"I know. You love to think you know everything. But I'm not hungry. I'm fine." Something in my head clicked.

I've been looking at this all wrong. It wasn't a physical problem. It was a psychological one. The one symptom of her's that I mistaken for her not wanting us to worry. If her body was ill, she would have noticed and said something. Instead it was her literal brain that was telling her that everything was alright when it wasn't.

I looked back at the porridge sitting on the table. She wasn't refusing to eat. She couldn't.

"You developed an eating disorder." The words slowly left my mouth. Saying it didn't feel real. Seeing her in front of me. Knowing that she's always been in front of me. It didn't make any sense.

"I didn't- I don't know what you're talking about."

"You've been skipping meals. You're lethargic. More emotional. Sick to the stomach. Fumiko you could have an eating disorder." She threw her hands up in the air.

"So what? I'll eat fine. Happy?" She sat down in front of the porridge. Still even with her gripping the spoon, she couldn't take a bite.

"Let's talk about this, Fumiko. There has to be a reason why you're thinking like this. Can't you tell me? I'm your friend." She gently placed down her spoon.

"You of all people should know how I feel, Miss Star couple's daughter." She mumbled. The name that I hated. Was there a name that Fumiko didn't like? Besides the Eternal Smile there was only one more name that I could think of.

Since Char's concert Fumiko has been rising in popularity tremendously. Too add on was her personality. All of it put her in the public eye at an exponential rate. To sum up, they started calling her the next Starlight Queen. "Is that what this is all about? That you're being called the next queen?"

"You're not the one being called that heavy name." Hearing her tone, I knew that we couldn't backtrack this conversation anymore. We had to talk about this.

"That's supposed to be a great honour. It means-"

"It means I'm being watched every time I do something. I can't go to auditions without someone making that comment. All around me, all I hear is that 'they can't compete with the next queen, they're looking forward to seeing what I can do, that it didn't make sense why someone of my caliber would be there,' I'm a rookie same as them! I'm not some next queen. They picture me as someone amazing like Char but I'm not. And I hate that this feels so lonely because no one else understands that and the ones that do can handle it. Unlike me. I don't fit in so I'm left alone. And clearly you don't understand."

I never thought about the pressure that would be thrown at Fumiko. During most people's first year they would slowly advance in rankings. That would give them the chance to get use to the attention and the hard work. Fumiko didn't have that transition period. From the start she threw herself against anything she came across. Then I roped her into my plans to perform with the Queen, Char, herself.

It wasn't the same with someone like Shouta. He got popular by association and set an image of the shy type that many people wanted to protect that. Fumiko, on the other hand, was set up to be a great idol. She had the energy, kindness, outgoing, friendly side of her that many even thought that she could end up being Queen at this rate. With more people watching, the more likely there was going to be haters expecting more from her.

She was still new to it all. That kind of thinking had people like Charlotte and I were expecting it. We prepared ourselves way in advance for the problems to come. We knew that Aikatsu had a bad side. She didn't. That was a heavy weight on her that she wasn't prepared for. Imagining being close to the top idol is nowhere near the reality. After she got put in that position I got busy with my scandal, the drama, Chameleon's Skin fashion show, there was so much that I wasn't there for her. It came with so much and I didn't even get to see it ruin her.

"Fumiko, what do you want me to do?" I had no way of getting rid of her worries. She earned that title through her hard work and good character. All I was left to do was be by her side but even that seemed to have opposite effects.

"Aren't you suppose to be the one with all the answers?"

"I'm not a therapist! I don't- I don't know if I can tell you what to do! All I know is that this- this isn't right!" I lost my composure at how calm she was about this all. It was like she became numb to everything.

"Without an answer you're not the Genius Wildcard. I'm not the Eternal Smile that people call me. I can't be the next queen that everyone wants me to be! So why can't you leave me to find things out myself? Must you be so controlling?!" I couldn't answer her. Anything I did could make her angrier. More than that, I could hurt her.

I didn't know how I could help her.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, taking a step back.

"I don't need that. And I very much do not need you to tell me what to do." She turned away, leaving our dorm. I didn't chase after her. My studies couldn't help her. I was wrong. I'm so sorry, Fumiko.

Summary: So here's the summary of the chapter if anyone wanted to read it but it became too much. (Again I do not blame you). Basically what happens is that Momo and friends have been noticing that Fumiko has been acting strange lately. She's been training a lot and isolating herself more. After she faints they find out that she hasn't been eating recently or very little amounts. Momo confronts her and they fight it out because Momo wants to tell her to stop this but Fumiko feels that Momo doesn't have a right to butt in. I briefly just mention that this mindset is due to Fumiko being put on the spotlight to be the next Starlight Queen, something that is a bit too much for her. I'll be expanding a bit more on this in the next chapter.

Trivia: I've always intended for Fumiko to develop an eating disorder. I've alluded to it a few times that she will always throw herself into her work before herself / her health. As much as idols are very strong and beautiful, the idea of them being weak and falling victim to this way of thinking is very common. This applies the same to anyone else out there. I wanted to write this section just because I wanted to bring a bit of light to it in my little way. Of course I should state that my experience/ Fumiko is not a representation for everyone. Everyone will react and heal in their ways depending on who they are. If you have any comments on the situation, then please feel free to comment it. Other than that I'll see you for the same deal in the next chapter.