SmutWithPlotFiction
 I'm done with Fanfiction
I meant that, by the way. Stop wasting your time with low-quality entertainment like fanfiction. I'm sure you have more important things to do. Those things you've told yourself you'd do tomorrow but never actually did. Now remove fanfiction from your attention and just do it! I know 99.99% of people reading this won't listen. To those foolish enough to remain here, at the very least heed the 10 Commandments... Ten Commandments of Sin-free, Successful (SmutWithPlot) Writing
1. Thou shalt use said. AKA: If you abuse exotic dialogue tags, and worse, if you combine them with adverbs, your place in Fanfiction Hell is as good as guaranteed. Seriously, said is all you need. Said should be the norm when you write. When you use other dialogue tags, they are the exception. If you can’t get across your points without using various dialogue tags, then your dialogue may need some work. As a rule of thumb, if you use dialogue tags frequently, you should use said about 90% of the time. Note: Asked is the said for questions. Atrocious examples I have collected, in no particular order: -"That's it. Now release it!" she shouted encouragingly. -"So she was the one who planned all this! Tell me, where is she?!" he angrily demanded. -"Wow! You look so pretty with that necklace!" she said happily. -"Gah! What the hell is that!?" he exclaimed in shock. -"That's what he told me though," she said confusedly. (All these examples have been taken from a single fanfic. So, Jon (just gonna call you Jon here), if you're reading this: You suck.) You get the idea. I’m sure (I know) there are much worse out there. On this note, adverbs should be limited as much as possible. More often than not, they can be substituted with a different and stronger word choice. 2. Thou shalt use names. AKA: Don’t make a clown out of yourself by using every possible way to refer to people. Seriously, I see this way too often, even in published works! People have names for a reason. Use them. I’d say it’s pretty much impossible to overuse names. Of course, you can use he/she as a replacement more often than not (provided it doesn’t lead to confusion), but even people who are on the right path with this could do to use names more often. Never EVER refer to the PoV character as anything but his name or the proper pronoun. That’s a PoV mistake, provided you’re using Third Person Limited (which you should). For other characters, you can use whatever is appropriate. For example, it is completely okay to refer to a character as Prince or Queen or anything like that. Those are unique titles and won’t lead to confusion. (Still, names are preferable if adequate, and if you do use the titles, stay consistent.) If a character’s name is unknown, then you have no choice but to refer to them otherwise. On the other hand, brunette, blonde, or worse, ravenette (or any other ridiculous made-up words referring to people with strange hair-colors), is just a no-go. I’ve read a lot of Harry Potter fanfics, and if I’d get a dollar for every time I read “the raven-haired beauty”, I’d be rich. That phrase is atrocious and part of the Forbidden Phrases to boot! 3. Thou shalt use thought. AKA: I will use direct thoughts from now on, you thought. Direct thoughts are an easy and awesome way to display character or convey information to the reader in a concise manner. They create a sense of immediacy. It’s always better to express a character’s feelings in a direct thought than spelling out the feelings, for example. It’s hard to overdo them. Sprinkled here and there, they’ll greatly enhance the reading experience. How to use: Man, this sucks, Jon thought. (Formatting is basically like dialogue.) Some people like to use Italics only and leave the “character thought” part out. I’d advise against that. At least, not always. Thought is like said. It’s invisible. Use it. 4. Thou shalt show, not tell. AKA: Don’t abuse inner monologues and do bad info dumps. This is a broad topic, one which I’ll only introduce here briefly. When writing, ask yourself this: If this were a TV show, anime, or movie, how could I convey what I have just flat-out told the reader in this info drop inner monologue? I’m not saying that you then need to do that, but even contemplating that can lead to some interesting ideas. Knowing when to show and when to tell is a difficult thing to master and takes practice. Some things are better told in quick sentences so as to not bore the reader. Other times it’s better to show all the details. It’s highly situational. Generally, a more show-heavy style makes for more reader immersion. 5. Thou shalt use the period. AKA: Don’t make your story into an unsightly minefield by overusing the colon, semi-colon, em-dash, ellipsis, or brackets. Even commas are overrated. Newsflash: No one cares about those special kinds of punctuation characters and may even find them an annoyance/eyesore. If you find that you use them often, then you probably have other issues (like sentence structure) that you ought to fix. But that’s not really the point of this commandment. The point is, whenever you find yourself in a situation where you want to use one of those special characters, simply use a period and/or restructure. Yes, this will create sentences that aren’t grammatically correct or aren’t even sentences in the technical sense (missing a verb, for example), but it simply looks better and cleaner. People will understand it (or not) whether you use those fancy characters or not, depending on how solid your writing is. That’s my experience, anyway. Back in the beginning, I overused them big-time, thinking that they would make me appear sophisticated or smart. (They don’t!) Trust me, it was a mess. These characters are more useful in articles or essays where you need to be concise and precise. If you were going to use them, at least make the effort to research their proper uses. 6. Thou shalt not use Anime PoV. AKA: Head-hopping. Don’t randomly jump to other characters or show things that the PoV character couldn’t possibly know. If you ever use “unbeknownst to X PoV character, Y happened…” or “had X PoV character looked, he would have seen Y…” your place in Fanfiction Hell is as good as secured. There is no such thing as Anime PoV. I made that up, but it’s a good way to visualize what I mean. You can also think of it as TV Show PoV. I see it more often than you’d think. (Seriously, don’t people do any research on PoV before they start writing a story?) So, Anime PoV. Basically, people use this like Third Person Limited, but add a little spicy incorrectness on top. Third Person Limited is when a chapter is written from one person’s perspective. Everything that happens is viewed through the lens of the PoV character. This means that you can’t suddenly jump to another character and show their thoughts (or show anything that the PoV character wouldn’t be aware of). If you do, you’d need a scene break and switch to another character’s PoV. I see this all the time, especially in anime fandoms, hence the name. Don’t use Anime PoV, guys. Please. It’s not hard. On this note, don’t use too many PoVs. Keeping things simple makes for better immersion and builds tension. 7. Thou shalt use cock and pussy. AKA. Don’t be one of those people who uses ridiculous words for genitalia like shaft or flower (and those are the mild ones). This is like using names. Word variety is overrated (if not outright incorrect or cringy), especially when the alternative words are just so much less sexy. There’s nothing wrong with using cock and pussy over and over again. If your writing is solid otherwise, no one will even notice. Other words that are adequate. Male: dick, penis, erection. Female: vagina, cunt (only for dirty characters). Other words may be adequate depending on the PoV character. (For example, a younger character might not know the correct words or use the “innocent” words they’d been taught.). Like with said, I’d go with about 90% cock and pussy if there’s no reason to do otherwise. Btw, this is just an easy example cause I’m a smut writer. But it applies to all other forms of writing as well. For example, in a fight scene. Let’s say one character has a dagger. You don’t refer to that dagger as a knife, sword, needle, short sword, weapon, blade, stick, or whatever else have you. It’s a dagger. Call it a dagger (or its name, if it has one). If this makes your writing sound off and terribly repetitive, then you know that you have other problems. If the scenes are engaging, no one will care. Especially in a fight scene, it’s important to convey things so that the readers can follow. Word variety can be a distraction. 8. Thou shalt use correct dialogue formatting. AKA: Don’t be a lazy shit. Take a look at any published book of at-least-minimal repute. Observe. Copy. Done. It’s not hard. I can’t fathom how many stories I’ve seen where the dialogue is formatted incorrectly, even if said people have been writing (and presumably, reading) for years. (Even in published books!) Incorrect: -“Hello.” Jon said and waved. -“Hello,” Jon waved. -Jon said. “Hello.” -Jon said, “hello.” -“Hello,” The man said and waved. -“Hello.” the man waved. Correct: -“Hello,” Jon said and waved -“Hello.” Jon waved. -Jon said, “Hello.” -“Hello,” the man said and waved. -“Hello.” The man waved. 9. Thou shalt not use the Forbidden Words and Phrases. AKA: Don’t copy stupid shit other people use to sound edgy. Don’t take inspiration from My Immortal. If you’re unfamiliar with that, don’t look it up. You’ll thank me later. Note that some of those things aren’t completely terrible. Some are simply so overused that they’ve become cliché. But it never hurts to be conscious about it when using them. Far-from-complete list of the Forbidden Words and Phrases: -Referring to eyes as orbs or globes. -“He/She released a breath he/she hadn’t realized he/she’d been holding.” -Calling a horse a "trusted steed/stallion" -“The raven-haired beauty” -“Eyes blazed/flashed” -“Tongues battled for dominance” -Fireworks exploding while characters kiss or climax -Ravenette, bluenette, etc... (Yes, people actually use those words.) -Sexily and other atrocious adverbs 10. Thou shalt not rehash canon. AKA: Have some creativity and make up your own stuff. Don’t be afraid to throw canon out the window or straight-up change things. If you happen to use a scene almost exactly like in canon, consider telling or skipping it. There’s nothing wrong with following the canon timeline, but if you make changes, those changes should lead to consequences and more changes. Nothing is more aggravating when the characters suddenly start acting OOC and make weird decisions only so that certain canon events can happen. Nothing is more dissatisfying when you read a long-fic with tons of changes, only for the climax to be a carbon copy of canon. Also, I know it’s crazy, but you don’t have to follow the canon timeline. And neither does your story have to end at a certain time, like, for example, the canon story’s climax. Your story should end when the character’s journey is over, whenever that may be. Good stories leave some plot threads open (for interpretation). 11. Thou shalt use the Oxford comma. AKA: It's clean and sleek, it separates every item of an enumeration with a comma and a mental pause, and it prevents misunderstandings. Seriously, everyone who refuses to use the Oxford comma is an uncivilized heathen and belongs into Fanfiction Hell. ;) This is number 11, cause I'm only joking. Or am I? Follow these rules, and your soul shalt be safe. For now. As writing is fundamentally subjective, all those rules are subjective and should be viewed critically, even challenged (like everything). I know I don’t always follow them to the letter. That said, even if you find that you disagree with some or don’t see the point, I’d advise you to heed them, if only for practice’s sake. It’ll improve your writing skills in the long run. If you’ve managed to save your soul, you’re allowed to copy the 10 Commandments onto your profile page. Seriously though, stop wasting your time. In the world we live in, you really can't afford to. |
