Oliver shut the door behind Felicity and helped her out of her coat.
Felicity eased her shoes off and settled back onto the couch and leaned her head back against the cushions, her eyes sliding shut.
"Tired?" Oliver asked, sitting down beside her.
"Yes," Felicity groaned. "The last couple of days have been exhausting."
"Since I got here, you mean?" Oliver asked.
Felicity's eyes shot open. "I didn't mean it like that."
"I know you didn't, but it doesn't mean it's not true."
Felicity turned to him. "It's not easy knowing you have an expiration day shorter than the cereal box in my cabinet."
"Don't." Oliver's voice is gutted. "Don't joke about this. Please, I can't-"
"I'm sorry," Felicity grabbed his hand, squeezing. "I'm sorry. Humor has always been my way of deflecting."
"I don't need you to be funny." Oliver turned her hand over in his, interlocking their hands. "I just need you to be you and I need you here. With me"
Felicity felt her stomach flip with his words. The apparent vulnerability he showed her every single time he expressed needing her and when he did, all she wanted to do was pull him tightly to her and promise to never let go, but she couldn't do that.
Instead, she cleared her throat and extracted her hand from his. "I could use some wine after a long day like today. How about you?"
"And mint chip ice cream?" Oliver asked with a knowing smile.
Felicity opened and closed her mouth. "I didn't think you would remember that's my favorite ice cream."
"It's the little things that get taken for granted." Oliver swallowed, his smile fading. "After you were.." he trailed off. "Well after, the small details started coming back to me. Your favorite foods, how you took your coffee, the way you would sing along to your favorite songs when you think no one is around to hear you, dancing in your chair."
"Oh, god, you've seen that?" Felicity groaned in embarrassment.
"It's cute." Oliver laughed.
Felicity turned around cheeks, flushing. "We definitely need wine. I need it."
Oliver's laugh echoed behind her, and Felicity's lips pulled into a smile. Hearing it after knowing what he has been through was a gift to her.
She grabbed two glasses and a bottle of her favorite red, turning to see Oliver grabbing the ice cream from her freezer and two spoons.
Felicity walked back to the living room and poured their glasses before settling back against the couch cushions.
Oliver joined her, holding a spoon out to her. Felicity smiled and, when he had the lid off the pint of ice cream, scooped out a spoonful, popping it into her mouth.
Oliver smiled, doing the same.
"Did you do this with your Felicity?" Felicity asked, setting her wineglass on the table.
"Wine and ice cream?" Oliver asked for clarification.
"Yeah." Felicity turned her body toward, propping her head on her hand.
"Once," Oliver answered. "It was a long night, and she was helping me with the company and it was late. I ended up crashing on her couch. It was the first time I made breakfast the next morning for someone who wasn't myself."
"You cook? I didn't know that." Felicity smiled.
"There's a lot you don't know about me," Oliver said.
"Did she know you more than I do?" Felicity wondered, if before she died Oliver opened up to her.
"I like to say she did, but I don't know. There was so much left unsaid between us. It's one of the things I regret most." Oliver took a drink of his wine. "There was a lot I wanted to tell her but wasn't sure I could."
"Why not say what you can and the rest when you're ready?" Felicity suggested.
"Because I'm afraid if I don't say it all now, then I never will get the chance because you'll be gone."
"Oliver, you came back to save me and I have complete faith you will not fail me. I'll be here whenever you're ready to say everything you want to say." Felicity said. "I know it's not the same, but I'll listen. I'm here for you."
Oliver reached for her hand, lacing their fingers. "The first time we met in your cubicle wasn't the first time I saw you."
Felicity's eyes clouded over with confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I wasn't always on the island. It's complicated, but I ended up working for Amanda Waller and I had to retrieve a file from my mother's computer at QC."
Felicity fell silent, her heart pounding in her chest. A part of her thought she was dreaming. Oliver was opening up to her about the island and Waller with no prompting. He was letting her in. No walls, no pretenses. No secrets.
"It was late. I heard someone coming, so I hid in the conference room. You walked in. You were delivering a file, and you stopped to look around. You picked up my mother's picture."
Felicity's features lit up with recognition. "I was talking to myself about how cute you were."
"Yes, it was the first time that I really smiled since my family's yacht went down," Oliver confessed. "And it was because of you. You were this bright light to illuminate the darkness my life became."
"Did you know who I was when you walked into my cubicle?" Felicity wondered.
"Not at first. Not until I saw you." Oliver confessed. "That moment changed everything for me. You changed everything for me."
Felicity had always felt a connection to Oliver from the moment they met. She was never sure it was the same for him. Oliver didn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He was guarded.
"Your words are sweet, but I think witnessing my death has colored things differently for you," Felicity said, reached for her glass, and lifted it to her lips.
"I'm not trying to be sweet. I am being honest." He set the ice cream down and turned to Felicity fully. "Of course, your death helped me see things differently. It helped me look at myself and really understand why I held back from you from that first ramble."
"And why was that?" Felicity asked, placing her glass back on the table, and brushing a fallen lock of her hair from her ponytail back.
"I was terrified. You brought out a side of me I thought was gone. I could still laugh, feel joy, I could still hope, and that was scary. I came home to right my father's wrongs. I had to close myself off. Become something else. Emotions, the good kind, had no place in my mission. I had to shut it down."
Oliver lifted his hand and placed it against her cheek. "I never accounted for you and honest to god, You are the best thing to ever happen to me."
Felicity's heart pounded in her chest, her skin tingling from his touch. "Even after the pain you felt when I died."
"Even then. I could never regret a single moment with you. Every second with you is a gift. I only regret not telling you all this before I lost you,"
Felicity placed a hand against his neck. "You're telling me now," she leaned in, her eyes flicking to his mouth. "Maybe it's enough."
She closed the distance and pressed her mouth against his.
He was still. So still, his hand fell away from her cheek, and his mouth didn't move against hers.
She pulled back an apology on her lips. "I'm sorry, I-"
Oliver surged forward, his hand cupping the back of her neck, his lips smashing against hers.
There was a desperateness in his kiss, his mouth hard against hers. Felicity accepted it. She shifted closer, her hands cupping his face as her lips moved beneath his.
Oliver reached for her, his arms wrapping around her, drawing her closer.
Slowly, the desperation in his kiss eased, leaving nothing but passion.
Felicity's lips moved beneath his like a well-rehearsed dance, her fingers carding through his hair, nails scratching at his scalp.
A groan rumbled from Oliver's chest.
Felicity, knowing if she didn't stop now she wouldn't be able to later, broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against his.
She never thought her first kiss with Oliver would be with the one from the future, but God, it was amazing. Only darkened by the knowledge of her death.
"I love you." Oliver's voice is wrecked. "I love you so much. Sometimes it's hard to breathe and all I can think about is you."
His words while they made her heart thump powerfully in her chest. They also caused a pit to form in her stomach. Her hands fell away from him and she shifted back out of his arms.
Oliver frowned as she pulled back from him. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to overwhelm you."
"It's not that," Felicity shook her head.
"Then what is it?" Oliver asked.
"You say you love me and I want to believe it's the truth but I can't help but think that the intense feelings you have are only brought on by the trauma of having yet another person you care about die in your arms," Felicity answered honestly.
"I have loved you before that. I understand that it might be hard to believe right now. But it's the truth. I honestly wish I would have told you sooner. It will always be my biggest regret. You dying and not knowing how I felt."
"What about Laurel?" Felicity hated that she felt the need to ask but for the longest time Laurel had been Oliver's blind spot and he still gave in to her even when it made absolutely no sense.
Oliver smiled sadly. "I understand why you're asking. I do. Right now my idiot self is giving her what she wants and endangering everything you and I and Diggle have built. However, if there is anyone who knows what's going through his head where she is concern, it's me."
"Well, I'm glad someone does 'cause I honestly have no idea what goes on in his head and I'm not sure anyone else does either." said Felicity, her frustration shining through.
"When you lose someone, and you can't see the point of living anymore, you really start to look at your whole life."
Felicity gasped, tears filling her eyes. She reached out, gripping tightly to his hand. She couldn't imagine a world where Oliver just gave up because he didn't want to live anymore.
Oliver squeezed her hand back, but continued. "There are things I can reconcile now that I didn't just a few weeks ago."
Felicity held herself back. She didn't want to interrupt. Oliver was opening up to her in a way she didn't think he ever opened up to anyone before.
"When I came home from Lian Yu. I was set on making things right with Laurel. I held onto this picture of her on the island. It anchored me, but not for the reasons I thought. At the time I believed it was because on some messed up level I loved her despite how I treated her, but the truth is that picture was a tether to home. I now know it was never about her. Laurel was all my mistakes staring back at me and I wanted to fix them. However, there are some things that can't be fixed and shouldn't be fixed."
"You felt guilty," Felicity said. It was understandable, but it was nothing to base a relationship on.
"I did, and I used to think starting over with her would somehow make up for it because it's what she wanted. Except it's not what I wanted, and a relationship built on that isn't good." He locked eyes with Felicity. "So, to answer your question. I don't want Laurel on the team and I don't' want to be with her."
"Wow," Felicity murmured. "You have this clarity, this self-awareness, and it's amazing to see. It's the complete opposite of my Oliver."
"Don't give up on me, Felicity." Oliver said suddenly.
Felicity frowned and placed her hand on his chest over his heart. "I could never give up on you."
"I don't mean me, me, I mean, your Oliver. Please, don't give up on him when I go back. He loves you, he just doesn't know it. All he knows right now is that he needs you and he relies on you more than he ever has on anyone in his whole life. You make his world spin. You're the center of everything for me, and it's only a matter of time before he realizes the same thing. I know he's being a dumbass, but please, don't give up on us."
"I could never give up on my Oliver and I certainly can't give up on you." Felicity said. "You're more important to me than you can ever know."
Oliver placed his hand over hers on his heart, locking their fingers together. "Promise me."
"I promise." She swore. "When you go back to your time. I will be here for you. I would never willingly leave your side. You mean more to me than I thought was humanly possible. You have become a part of who I am. I can't imagine my life without you in it. Me just giving up on you will never be an option. Not for me"
Felicity lifted her free hand and cupped his jaw, and he leaned into her touch.
"I don't know what's going to happen when you return to your time. I can't know that and the thing is neither can you, but the one thing I do know is that I will never leave you. I am always going to be with you. Always."
Oliver's eyes slid shut, allowing her words to touch his heart like a healing balm. He pulled her into his arms and held her closely, breathing in her scent and Felicity sunk into his embrace, knowing he needed her close and feeling the same after everything they just shared.
"Felicity?" His voice was soft, tentative.
"Hmm?" Felicity pulled back expectantly.
"Can I just hold you for a little while?"
Felicity's heart cracked wide open with his words and the look of need and pain in his eyes.
"Yes, of course." She wanted to ease his pain, and if holding her helped, then she would welcome it.
Oliver laid back on the couch and pulled Felicity against him.
His hand stroked up and down her back, the action calming for him.
Felicity loved the warmth coming from his body pressed against hers. She welcomed his embrace and allowed the beat of his heart beneath her ear to lull her to sleep.
Oliver heard the change in her breathing as she fell asleep. His arms tightened around her even as his body loosened up, reassured by the feel of her in his arms that she was safe.
She was here with him. He didn't care about anything else, only the feel of her warm, alive and breathing in the circle of his arms.
With one arm draped around her waist the other tangled in the soft strands of her blonde hair, Oliver allowed himself to surrender to the exhaustion in his soul, allowing his body to rest, his last thought as he drifted off was how he wanted the feel of her resting in his arms to last forever.