Attention!!!!! Updates will be late due to the fact I have school!!!!!

Hi!!! My name is Vasiliki (Vicky for sort) and I'm from Greece and I live there...even though most of the time my mind is elsewhere...

I love listening to music, I love reading books and fanfictions, watching Tv shows, movies and documentaries.

I love dancing even though I'm really shy to show it to others, an old friend once told me that I was a good dancer.

I love landscape and cityscape (is that the right term I don't really know) photography because you can keep something beautiful and remember it! Although, sometimes the camera isn't good enough to "trap" the things as beautiful as our eyes see them.

I love writing stories (in English) while I listening to music but I have a little difficult to describe things...because I'm too excited for the dialogues or the fighting scenes that I forgot to put emotions or movements in them...weird right?

I tend to ramble a lot when I meet new people and I get too excited! I want to share everything about me with them...and that has turned against me a lot of times so I hide behind a shy or an antisocial mask because I'm afraid of what people might think. Sometimes, though, i try not to care too much what people think of me because people will think what they want to think and I can't get into their minds and rip the negative thoughts they do about me...i try to be as much of myself without allowing them to mistreat me.

My Story:

I've been bullied in school since I started school for the stupidest reasons I might add. But a few years ago the things started getting worse...my parents start verbally and emotionally abuse me at home too. At the same time, we had just moved yet again and I was trying to adjust to the new life in a place where everyone knew my parents and they thought they knew me because they were getting to see me every summer for a few weeks. I was trying to find my place in this new and surreal school environment where everyone was talking to everyone and they were no cliche cliques...and I didn't know where I was supposed to fit in. After five years of me being constantly afraid and having a target on my back, I was always on guard and in defense mode...behavior that didn't exactly scream "Hey! Come and meet me! I'm cool!" I had so many walls up that kids got frustrated with me...they were trying to get to know me yet I wouldn't let them...so they started making fun of me...yet again. That is what I was most afraid of and I caused it.

They yelled at me that I don't belong in their city and that I'm a snobbish bitch and many more words that I don't want to remember. During that time though the school did nothing that I told them! They knew from my file from my old school that I was a "survivor of bullying" so they thought I was an expert on how to fight back... I was called in the office with false accusations that I beat up some kids only to be told "Oh! I'm sorry we got the wrong name! But now that you're here we are concered about a student that goes through what you did. Could you help her?". The student talked about what a girl my age that not only was she bullied at school but at home too! To the point, she didn't even put up a fight! She allowed herself to be that way and as much as I tried to save her I couldn't! Teachers must have thought I could save her but I couldn't...she had to save herself fight which she did many years later of course and not with my help...but I'm proud of her. During that time I tried so hard to save her that I neglected myself and my responsibilities including school work and household chores. I was constantly so drained both physically and emotionally from school and trying to make that girl smile at least once a day that the only thing I wanted to do afterward was to sleep. My parents didn't like that one bit! They started calling me "a nothing", "I do nothing in the house. It's like I'm a tourist.", "I don't care about them.", "I'm selfish.". "I'm a bitch.", "I'm an emotionless bitch that deserves everything she got and will get."

And while I was asleep or so they thought I could hear them calling me "fat" and "disgusting", "a disappointment", "I do nothing right", "a mistake that my mum should have aborted years ago". I also heard them talk and saying how easy their lives would have been if I or my sister weren't born and that all the money they spent on raising us could be used for repairs in my dad's childhood home and extravagant vacations.

Hearing all this made me feel as if the world was better without me...not that was the first time I was thinking that... I always thought that ever since I was eight years old. Somehow, i don't recall how i started suspecting the fact that I might be depressed seeing how much I slept and how difficult it was for me to be awake and how tired I always felt plus adding the thoughts of how the world would have been better without me and fantasizing my death I decided to do an online research which led to an online test for depression.

I was depressed...then I started searching for a cure... I found online help sites and I talk (i believe twice) with an advisor on how to make friends and better my own self-esteem. I did as I was told; I blocked out all the negative thoughts my mind did and people said around me and focused on my education and my research on depression which led me to search for other issues our society faces. And as a chain of events, I started reading online books upon books on child abuse, domestic abuse, sexual assaults, PTSD, low self-esteem, anxiety and coping mechanisms that would benefit me and someone like me. I saw videos on how to perform CPR and talk someone back from a panic attack. Without knowing I had completely shut off my own mind and body...to the point I collapsed...the first time my depression got to the worst point was when i started realising that all this knowledge I had gain did nothing to help me better my life at home...because my parents saw how their insults did nothing to me and they started to threaten me with physical abuse...and being afraid of getting beaten again like I was in school or younger whenever I would do something wrong mum would slap me or shove me or hit me in the head or even yell at me I got scared and they saw it and used it against me...my first instinct was to obey in order to protect myself... I tried to do at least one chore a day and make sure I didn't talk back. Then I started seeing improvements my parents were satisfied with me but I grew tired...physically tired. I would sleep through my alarm and be late to school which would cause my dad to yell at me in the morning threatening me that he would empty a bucket of ice cold water on me the next day if I got to school and class was in session. My mind was so tired that I could fight off my own thoughts of how fucked up I am and the burden of my past.

During that time I finally broke down to my aunt telling her everything! She got me to go to a real psychologist and sat with me through the first session, she cried listening to what I and my sister went through, she cried when I told the doctor that one time my mum whipped my sister because she refused to do something and dad would always yell at her and slap her when she did something wrong. The psychologist told me that what I had read on child abuse was what I and my sister went through of course on a lower scale. She helped me realize that I never had a childhood and that my family's situation could be saved if I tried to mend the cracks and restore communication between us. So, I took upon myself to work through all my anger towards them. I did that by digging into my parents' past, learning how their childhoods were like and empathize with them. I was able to see why they did what they did yet, I didn't forgive them I acknowledged their faults and attempts to be different parents than their parents. And somehow, I got to know them... I figure out what they liked to talk about more and tried to learn more about it so I can establish a conversation. I spent three months trying to talk to them. Get to know them like they were people not "mum" and "dad".

Once that was done I started touching the taboo topics aka mental health and abuse and once I learned that the sense of what abuse is to them I started revealing to them that what they did to us was qualified as a type of abuse. They were shocked and apologized and even tried to be better for a short while but then they reverted back to being the same yet now they used all the things I had told them about me, my weaknesses against me. I tried my best to understand them not to get mad at them and even forgive them but I couldn't. So, I started to ignore the bad things they did and said and tried to focus on the good stuff. I did as many chores my school load allowed me to and tried to have the "how was your day" talk during lunch.

But they were never satisified with me...or my sister.

That is when I reached my second breaking point and this time was a mix of school bullying, being alone, having no friends, always being on guard 24/7 365 days per year, my parents and the fact the only person I considered my best friend didn't believe me or gave me support after I confessed to her what I kept years in secret...she could relate she saw my parents as cool, very understanding (beats me how) and involved in their kids' lives something her parents weren't at the time. That was when I truly understood that I was alone and no one had my back, that I could trust no one but myself. I tried to keep up the facade that everything was the same and nothing changed but I couldn't. I started yet again feeling alone but this time it felt weird... I started to daily think about death and how it would feel.

At 15 during Christmas i couldn't take it so as I was crying because mum and I had fought about me not being so cheery and because I had no best friend to call to comfort me because she was avoiding me and not returning my calls I went outside in my balcony and stare at the sky and the moon and I thought what would it feel like if I jumped... I put my one feet on the railings and as I was ready to jump my sister came outside telling me my aunt and grandma were here... I thought about them and my sister and that is why I didn't jump. My sister till today she is fourteen now hasn't realized what she stopped me from doing.

I decided to fight because I didn't want my parents to win and then their attention to be on my sister. I fought and fought... I started talking about my depression to my family and seeing their reaction this time I wasn't ashamed of it and I was ready for their rejection which it happens... "everything is in your head" was one of the most used comments I got from them.

Now, I'm 20 years old and I have gone through many depressive episodes due to my past and I still fight my suicide tendencies most times on my own but others with the friends I recently found. My home life isn't easy but the tension between my family and I have, has subsided a lot and I try to put it behind me and learn to trust them again...even a little bit.

Every day is a struggle but I'm finally able to say that I'm strong and I can do this!

Anxiety Attacks:

I had my first panic attack during the summer I had just put two scoops of ice cream for myself and I was about to watch a documentary about Saturn when I started sweating with cold sweat and then I got the feeling as if someone was grabbing my heart with cold hands and squeezing it which resulted in me to feel pain and start spasming with no control...the bowl fell off my hands and broke as I started shaking... I looked like a fish out of water (at least that is how I believe I looked) i was alone no one realized what had happened to me I only remember so much pain that I passed out... I woke up 3 hours later because my aunt found me with my hand dripping melted ice cream and the documentary on repeat and many missed calls from her and my parents who were with friends out.

Second time that happened I was sitting and fight with my mum about how many chores I do in the house when I let out a groan of pain and grasped my chest same feeling like the first time only this time there was no sweat...i started spasming from the pain my heart was in that mum forced me to lie on the couch then I started sweating...my mum was in shock she didn't know what to do... I tried to speak and tell her to call my aunt but I could form a sentence she sat there watching me till I passed out again and woke up to my aunt putting a blanket over me saying that I was cold and that I should go to the hospital once I feel better.

Third time it happened I was in school and I was yelling with some kids about a project in Computer Science class when suddenly a boy from the group disobeyed the instructions our teacher gave us and fried the computer I started yelling at him and he was laughing not giving a shit that he damaged school property...i walked out of the classroom slamming the door behind me while my newly found friends followed me demanding to go tell on him to the principal when I felt the same sharp pain in my heart I only had moments to get to the wall before I started spasming again and sweating with cold sweat this time it only took five minutes for me to pass out from the pain while the last two times it took an hour! I woke up on the floor of the school with the teacher putting a wet cloth over my head saying they were close to calling an ambulance if I hadn't come around. They didn't call an ambulance nor said anything to my parents...

Fourth time that happened i was holding my computer when mum got the news that my paternal grandma's organs were shutting down one by one and they had to put her in a coma...and that she only had 12 hours to live...we couldn't visit her because the roads were blocked due to protestors...my mum barely had time to grab the computer from my hands and guided me to the wall behind me before I sat down and started spasming this time was different I didn't pass out I started forcing myself to think what I had learned about panic attacks and started trying to count to ten then naming three things I saw and smelled, then heard and touched. As I forced myself to breathe and lay down mum stood there shocked. Once I calm down after two hours of repeating the same process just to be sure mum told me my color had faded to grey and my eyes seemed bigger than normal.

I had three more panic attacks after that once when my paternal grandma died, once I received a suppressed memory from bullying and when my maternal grandma died while I was asleep and I found out only hours later because my parents lied to me saying she was asleep and that I should focus in school.

Now, I still fight depression and try not to upset my parents since things are a little bit better so I want you guys to be patient with me...I keep on fighting my depression they are many bad days but I'm hanging there...

By any means, I'm not proud of what I went through I am proud that I survived it! If you are reading this and you go through a similar situation I suggest trying the following steps before calling child services:

1) Try to contact a psychologist

2) Stand up for yourself

3) Talk to your parents

4) Try to mend things with your family

5) Try to keep it as peaceful inside the house as possible

6) By any means don't blame yourself

7) Protect your siblings

8) If things I said above don't work then CALL THE CHILD SERVICES

On a happier note now:

People have told to me that my smile is like a Hollywood's Star but they don't know that it's a forced one...most of the time.

I want to be a director or an actress or a writter.

Now, as of (10/06-2017) I graduated High School with score 16,8/20 and I took my Graphic Designs Degree in Applied Arts with honors with score 18/20. I seated the Pan- Hellenic Exams and I scored low but I did pass to Business And Tourism School in Igoumenitsa but I didn't go since it was too far from home, expensive and it was something I didn't like it as a subject.

So, instead of going to Aristotle University for Acting in Thessaloniki as I planned I went to IEK Delta 360 (A type of college) and I'm in my Freshman year studying Filmmaking and Scriptwriting.

Although I still find it a very interesting field the History of Art, Humanities and Sociology I'll probably have it as a hobby.

As of 24/06/2019, I'll be graduating college with a degree in Filmmaking and Scriptwriting! Wish me luck!

After I graduate college I don't know what will come my way. Although, I want to direct a movie and have a book published just so I can say that I made my dreams come true. Who knows...

Last but not least, I received my English Proficiency diploma with High Pass!!!

Trips I Have Gone To Abroad:

Lecce, Italy with Youth Exchange group. (Erasmus)

Illnesses I suffer from:

In the summer of 2016 i was diagnosed with Osteoarthritis Chondropathy located to my knee joints and i suspect my hips and maybe my wrists. It's a genetic disease that I inherited from both maternal and paternal side but one special thing about mine is that it was caused by the way I walked... I grew up watching my mum limp so subconsciously I did so too. So, combined it with my depression I weighted my health and caused it more severe damage by stress eating and gaining weight and I can't drop it due to my Hashimoto Thyroid that I was diagnosed in 2017.

Accidents I've been thourgh:

1) Car crash.

2) Drowning (3 times)

3) I fell and broke my hand

4) I fell from the trampoline and I rolled down and hit my head on a tree and woke up in a bench...

5) I have hit my head so many times I lost counting...(in school fights most of the time)

6) I go a big cut underneath my big toe from the marble stairs in my old house.

7) I got a piece of broken glass inside my foot.

8) I burned my palms by grabbing the hot pot without gloves.

9) I had so many scratches and cuts in my nose and upper lip that took a month to heal because I had fallen on the icy snow while I was going to school.

10) I got stang by two sea urchin in my feet. ( It hurt so bad!!!!)

As you can tell I'm REALLY clumsy!!!

TV Shows I watch:

Chicago PD

Chicago Med

Chicago Justice

Chicago Fire

Charmed

Shadowhunters

MacGyver 2016

13 Reasons Why

Beyond

Good Witch

Lucifer

The Crown

Travelers

Frequency

The Shannara Chronicles

Containment

The Vampire Diaries

The Originals

Supernatural

Teen Wolf

Agents Of SHIELD

Agent Carter

iZombie

Arrow

Supergirl

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland

The Flash

Gilmore Girls

Pretty Little Liars

The Fosters

Switched At Birth

Doctor Who

How I Met Your Mother

Quantico

DC's Legends Of Tomorrow

Vixen

Victoria

Blindspot

Girl Meets World

Waterloo Road

Stitchers

Finding Carter

Mako Mermaids

H2O Just Add Water

Heroes

Heroes Reborn

Every Witch Way

Dark Matter

Beauty And The Beast

WITS Academy

The Magicians

Reign

Torchwood

Wolfblood

The Royals

The 100

Containment

Jane The Virgin

Supergirl

The Sarah Jane Adventures

Timeless

Victoria

Legacies

Single Parents

Young Sheldon

The Spanish Princess

The 100

Marvel's Cloak and Dagger

Charmed 2018

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists

Modern Family

Favorite Movies:

The October Baby

Percy Jackson

Mortal Insturments

Host

Girl VS Monster

Soul Surfer

Step Up (movies)

Feed

Spiderman: Homecoming

Street Dance (movies...i think)

Avatar: Last Airbender

Bring It On (movies)

The Secret Of Mooncre Valley

Fast and Furious (All the movies)

X-Men (All of them)

The Chronicles of Narnia (All of them)

Speak (2004)

Love, Rosie

Documentaries about Astronomy, History, Evolution of Human Beings and other planets.

And others i don't remember right now

Books:

Percy Jackson (Books i have read 3 of them)

Laura Seires byPeter Freund

Planded On Wattpad by athrhteera

The Kane Chronicals

The Chronicles Of Narnia

Before Noon on Wattpad by squirrelg

Haven's Knight on Wattpad by ReganUre

Project Fat Suit on Wattpad by not_present

The Teddy Bear Agreement on Wattpad by thepurplerose

Time Riders By Alex Sparrow

Not Exactly Rome & Juliet on Wattpad by kpgcatlover

Wattpad various books

From Bad To Cursed Series ( I want to read them but as far as I have heard are amazing)

And other random books I don't remember

Favorite Things:

My phone

My Laptop

My headphones

My diaries

My photos with my friends

My pillow and bed

My moon shaped necklace made (unfortunatly) by my mum

My fether shaped necklace made by my aunt

My teady bears ( DON'T JUDGE!!!!)

My books

My Favourite Colours:

Various Shades of Blue

Yellow

Light Green

Orange

Purple

Black

White

Light Pink

Light Brown

Things I hate:

People who judge you right in front of you

People that are fake...(aka myself because I don't have the gut to be me!!!!)

Being betrayed or played like a toy.

That I can't trust anyone or when I do I would spend time doubting them or my choice to trust them.

Periods (Girls can relate to me!)

Abusive Boys/Males

Abuse in general.

Things I Love:

My friends.

My sister.

My notebooks.

My bed.

My pillow.

My teddy bears (DON'T JUDGE ME)

Writting.

Listening to music.

Landscape Photography.

Cityscape Photography.

Ice Cream.

Baking/Cooking

Playing Card Games with my sister/my mum/ my aunt

Travelling (Although I grew up hating it. It turns out it makes you mature and you learn things and various ways to think)

Debating about History facts with others.

Things I wish to do:

Try to be a better daughter, sister, and student.

Go abroad to study European History, Psychology, Social Sciences or Anthropology or work either as a film director, scriptwriter or even teach at some university.

Make my parents stop judging me.

My enemies to explode from jealousy when they see that they waste their time by hating me.

Live abroad with my best friends.

Be comfortable in my own skin.

To have a stable life, income and relationships.

Get better in college lessons.

Write an original book

Direct a movie or a tv series

Star in a movie or a tv series

Things I wish I won't do:

Smoke (like my mum and aunts do)

Become alcoholic (Like one of my grand-uncles)

Go to jail.

Murder somebody

Kill myself

Be a bad parent or aunt ( I'm already a bad daughter...that's what my parents say at least)

Favorite Bands/Singers

R5

Bishop Briggs

Daughtry

Fall Out Boy

Imagine Dragoons

Hurts

The Script

Icona Pop

The Saturdays

Bastille

Panic! At the Disco

Owl City

The Cab

Blackhords

Cameron The Public

Digital Daggers

Ecosmith

Florence And The Machine

Halestorm

Green Day

Aurora

Two Steps From Hell

Thomas Bergersen

ABBA

Against The Current

The Heavy

The Lumineers

Kaleo

American Authors

Arctic Monkeys

Allessia Cara

Barns Courtney

Sabrina Carpenter

The Score

Bebe Rexha

Beoga

Birdy

Dorothy

Dean Lewis

Halsey

Gabrielle Aplin

James Bay

Rag'n'bone

Royal Deluxe

Rachel Platten

Seafret

Bishop Briggs

The Chainsmokers

Kygo

Tove Lo

Starvy

The Vamps

Zayde Wolf

Alesso

Alan Walker

Vance Joy

X Ambassadors

London Grammar

Zayde Wolf

Banks

Nothing But Thieves

OneRepublic

Panic At The Disco

My Favourite Artists (DJs, Singers, Violinists)

Lindsey Stirling

Bon Jovi

Macklemore

NF

Derro

Tiesto

Calvin Harris

Cole Plante

Avicii

The Bloody Beetroots

BROODS

David Guetta

Lorde

Former Vandal

Ida Redig

Kat Graham

Ed Sheeran

Greyson Chance

Zendaya

Meg Meyers

Greyson Chance

Teen Wolf's music

The Originals' music

Vampire Diaries' music

Favorite Youtube Channels:

Jesssfam

Hailey Reese

My Story Animated

Not Even Emily

WhispersAudios ASMR

storybooth

The Try Guys

Allie Brooks

Origin

Angelica

Yasmyn Switzer

SophieMichelle ASMR

Dear Grayson

College Humor

Yvette ASMR

The Things

Psych2Go

ACTUALLY HAPPENED

The Take

Connor Franta

illymation

Gentle Whispering ASMR

The Rewired Soul

Alex Meyers

Creative Calm ASMR

The White Rabbit ASMR

GG Productions

Anna Akana

MsMojo

MinuteVideos

Sassy Masha Vlogs

Screen Rant

Biographics

Journey With Jax

As you can see I'm a little weird and not so happy or outgoing person...but that's me...

Also, my name means Royal in Greek not that I am a stuck up spoiled brat...at least I hope I'm not.

And I have to say that my English is not my first language so I'm apologizing about any kind of spelling mistakes. I hope you like it!!

SOCIAL MEDIA

Follow me on:

Instagram: Vicky Tzalachani

Twitter: TVDvicky

Tumblr: Fandom-Girl99

Blog: Daydreamer's Mind

Pinterest: Vasiliki Tzalachani

Quora: Vasiliki Talachani

Gravatar: Daydreamer

Spotify: Vasiliki Tzalachani or Vicky1699

Youtube: Vasiliki Tzalachani

Pinterest: Vasiliki Tzalachani

: Vasiliki Tzalachani

Reddit: Fanfictionmusiclover

Disclaimer: THE UPDATES OF THE STORIES WILL BE SLOW AND RANDOM...BECAUSE OF A CHAOTIC LIFE!

KEEP REVIEWING IT HELPS A LOT!!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

-Vicky Or VT (An Original Fandom Girl)