On AO3 under "Quillium". Have abandoned this site.

For all everyone knows, everything that we have been taught could have been a lie.

For instance, the color, or rather, shade, black does not truly exist. It's simply an absence of something. Darkness does not exist. It's simply an absence of light, and idiocy is simply an absence of knowledge.

Fantasy could simply be truth, and truth could be fantasy. What if our dreams are reality and reality are simply dreams? What then?

If you knew that you had only 24 hours left to live, what would you do? Would you change the way you live, the way you think? What would you hold important to your heart? Money now has no meaning, if you're a dead man. Knowledge has barely any meaning, if you die. Possessions have no meaning. They could simply burn, or get lost and disappear. If that's the case, then the only thing you can hold precious is human beings. They actually look out for you, care for you. When you die they will mourn you, they'll go to your funeral. If you had been reading, now look at your thoughts. If you knew that you only had 24 more hours left to live your life, what would you do?

Life's a big fat what-if. If only, if only, if only. And sometimes, the real world can make you feel sick, so you enter a new world. The world of words, where you don't have to be you, and you can be anyone that you want to be. Doesn't it surprise you when you realize that there's a whole world out there? It surprises me. I'm not the only person in this world, but I'm the only one that's me. And I think that that's amazing.

Think about this. There's an entire world out there... with millions of people that you know absolutely nothing about. You don't know who I truly am. You know my stories, my prompts in thought, but who am I really? I'm just one statistic in millions, one human being who amounts to nearly nothing. Will I ever make a real difference in this world? Will you ever know who I am? There are millions of people in this world who don't know who you are. Who's the say you're significant? I say you're significant. You're alive. You're breathing. If you die, you'll never see this world change for the better or for the worse. You'll never have kids, never teach someone right from wrong, never make a difference. So stay alive, and don't take the coward's way out. (I hope that I'm making sense here... please tell me that I'm making sense.)

Who are you? Take a look in the mirror, and tell me what you see. What are you? I might be a jewel, I might be a weapon. I could be the only person in the world who is me. Who are you? I wonder who you are. All I know is that you're a one-of-a-kind, but what does that mean? I think that you're a story that's just waiting to be told, and if you'll tell it to me, I'd like that.

Update: Do you ever get scared of death? I don't think that it's your own death that you ought to be scared of. Death is inevitable, and it will eventually come to everyone... what you should really be scared of isn't your own death, but the death of those around you. What if your dad got a heart attack right after you got mad at him for not buying you the latest iPhone? What if your sister got hit by a car right after you told her that you hated her just because she took the last piece of ice cream? What if your friend committed suicide because you were too caught up in your own stupid life to care about them? I think that living every day like your last is stupid. What you should be doing, is living like it's everyone else's last.

It's easy to tell that in fanfiction or anime or books or TV shows that when the character feels guilty or bad about themselves that it's totally not true, and then they have a best friend who sees right through them, and they talk, and it's all okay. But what about real life? I mean, there are tons of people out there, feeling sad or down, and even though they may be "close" to their family, or "close" to their friends, when people ask if they're okay, and they lie and say that they're fine, nobody sees through them. Nobody tells them "No, you're not fine." and hugs them because let's face it, people aren't perfect. In fact, most of us suck, and are too caught up in our own emotions to be more observant than others. Putting on a smile and holding it in is the stupidest thing that someone can do, and you may think, "Duh", but it isn't that easy to admit those things. Showing someone the scars on your arms because you're a cutter, admitting that you would commit suicide if it weren't selfish and hurt the people around you, saying that you don't feel like people care about you... that's not going to hurt their feelings, or make it worse. At least, not for the people who are worth it. And for those who aren't, yeah, it's tough to stop being around them, but if they can't accept you for who you are, they don't deserve you. I'm not saying that whoever has issues can just get help, easy-peasy, or that people should just concentrate super hard on their loved ones to makes sure they're not suicidal. This is just food for the thought. But I do want you to think about it, for a good, long time.

Update: Here's the thing. Most of us are here because we're escaping... life's messes, relationship issues, or just the world overall... and that's cool. I think that while you're on this journey, eventually you'll come to the end. But a lot of us, because we're escaping, don't really have that sense of being proud to be in our own skins. I get that. I mean, surviving this world seems reliant on skills that I don't have. But in this, we totally lose our sense of self worth. I'm a Christian, and while I'm not going to shove my beliefs on anyone else, I believe that the one and only mighty God of this universe was willing to send His son to die for you. Even if there was no one else in the world, even though you mess up like crazy, He looked at you and went 'I love this kid, and I'd die to be with them' and that's what he did. So even if you're feeling like nothing, or like you're not priceless, the God of the Universe, omnipotent and omnipresent, loves you and thinks that you're priceless. So do remember that you're worth a lot.

Found on another Author's Profile:

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Poetry Doodles: (Because doodling isn't just for drawing, it's for all the arts out there.)

I'm that little voice in your head, the one that's always telling you what an idiot you are.

But I also tell you that I'll stick with you, because I'm an even bigger idiot than you are.

I'm the last piece of candy in the cupboard, the one that gives you diabetes.

But I also make you smile, because you needed something sweet after a bitter day.

I'm the one who made you cry after the harshest day you've ever been through,

But that's because you kept it all in, and I was the only one who offered you a shoulder to cry on.

I'm that one piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit in with the others,

But that's because the other pieces make a picture that you didn't want to see.

I'm the childish part of your bedroom that everyone else makes fun of,

But that's because I'm your nightlight, and you're afraid of the dark.

I'm your best friend.

There are no buts about that, because I'm always here for you.