Chapter 16: Sundaes In The Dark

They drove in a somewhat comfortable silence as Addison took small sips of her juju. The redhead would throw glances every once in a while but when Meredith looked at her, her gaze would quickly drift forward. It was almost comical to watch the Ruler of All that is Evil shift nervously avoiding her gaze. If Meredith was honest she too was nervous about the whole thing.

Addison was smart, she was overly kind, overwhelmingly brave, thoroughly caring, and to top it all off she was incredibly beautiful. A woman so perfect that she still felt was so completely out of her league. She was about to take this woman, who she had been hopelessly falling for, home. It was definitely not the first time they would spend a night together. But this Addison was sober unlike last time. A time Meredith had noticed, from the get go, the redhead had completely no memory of.

"Are you ok?" Addison asked, startling Meredith a bit. "Sorry."

"No, it's ok. I'm sorry." She said a bit awkwardly.

"Why are you apologizing?" Addison chuckled a bit.

"I don't know." Meredith shrugged a bit.

"What was on your mind?" Addison asked.

"Nothing too important." Meredith replied rather quickly. "So umm you sure you want to come over? Don't want you to feel like you have to 'cause Mark was pushing for it." She felt her nerves bubble up as she prayed Addison still would want to.

"Y-yes." Addison stammered. "I'm ok if you are." She added to which Meredith hummed in reply. They were quiet for a while when Meredith spoke once more.

"We should pick up some take out." Meredith started. "I can't cook for the life of me." She chuckled a bit.

"I cook." Addison mumbled.

"Of course you do." Meredith shook her head. This woman was amazing.

"I do." Addison said a bit louder.

"Oh, I believe you. Is there anything you can't do?" Meredith asked, raising a brow.

"I guess. I can't make cakes. They're either completely undercooked or they're burnt. Or I forget the sugar. Amelia used to make fun of me all the time for it." Addison chuckled.

"Amelia?" Meredith asked, looking at her as they hit a red light.

"Derek's youngest sister." Addison said and Meredith visibly flinched at the mention of him so she quickly continued. "I kinda adopted her as my own. She is the one Shepherd I don't think I'll ever stop loving. Completely and totally different from the rest. I hope you can meet her one day. She's quite talkative but she's… I hope you can meet her one day." She repeated growing sad.

"She must be amazing. I can't wait." Meredith smiled at her and her face grew into a soft smile. "Anyway, I don't want you to have to worry about anything." She said bringing the conversation back to the dinner topic as she began to drive once more.

"It's really no bother. Is there something in particular you'd like?" Addison asked.

"You deserve to be pampered not to be pampering anyone else. Let me do this, please." Meredith begged.

"Ok. Maybe umm next time… I mean… uh." Addison began to stammer a bit.

"Definitely, next time." Meredith said happily at the prospect of her actually wanting a next time. "What would you like to eat?" She asked but Addison remained quiet. Meredith threw a glance at her and found her pressing her lips tightly together and looking at her hands.

"What?" She pushed.

"I sorta want chicken nuggets and fries and ice cream… but I mean we can definitely eat something more substantial." Addison added quickly.

"Nuggets, fries, and ice cream it is." Meredith grinned. "I've got strawberry ice cream at home but we could…"

"Strawberry sounds good. Do you have chocolate fudge?" Addison asked excitedly.

"Yep and sprinkles." Meredith giggled.

"Don't make fun." Addison whined a bit.

"Not making fun. I have sprinkles and fudge and mini m and whipped cream and crushed peanuts and pecans. I've got it all. We had a sundae night when I was recovering. Thankfully only I like the strawberry ice cream so I still have some. George, Alex, Izzie, and Cristina devoured the chocolate and vanilla." Meredith pouted a bit.

"Maybe next time we can bring some vanilla and chocolate along with the strawberry and make a banana split and have a scoop of all three." Addison beamed.

"Oh yeah. When you come to cook next time I'll make sure we are restocked. It'll be great." Meredith beamed right back.

This whole making plans was something she greatly enjoyed. Especially because she was making plans with Addison. It also seemed the redhead was in the same boat about it as she noticed the wide grin across her face as they drove.

The nuggets and fries had been devoured before even arriving at the house. Neither of them had eaten much the whole day so as soon as they had gotten the warm food they had began eating. Meredith opened the door for Addison who stepped in and instantly started smiling as she looked around. As Cristina had recommended in her text message she locked the door behind them before turning back to Addison.

"What? Too much of a mess?" Meredith asked, slightly embarrassed.

"It's a home. I had been in the trailer which just felt like another place to sleep and the hotel room. But this, this is a home." Addison smiled still looking around.

Meredith resisted the urge to ask her to move in. That would have definitely been too fast, even taking into account the whole U-hauwling. She would have paid no mind to rules and such if Addison asked though. It was true though that she lived in a place very closely resembling a frat house along with her intern friends. If Addison so desired though, Meredith would throw everyone out just to keep her here. But again, too fast.

"So umm do we just stand here?" Addison asked, bringing her back from her head.

"Yes… No, sorry. I'll show you around." Meredith said as she motioned for the redhead to follow.

She showed Addison her mother's study and the box of surgery tapes along with the journals she had found. Then she showed her the living room explaining the scratches on the wood and the ceiling. The redhead chuckled about the party that was supposed to be with only a few people which had turned into a frat party and her eyes sparkled as Meredith spoke of the Christmas tree that had been too tall.

Then she brought her to the kitchen where she got two bowls, the tub of ice cream and the toppings they had talked about in the car. Addison happily sat on a stool as she waited for Meredith to make her bowl as she pointed excitedly at the fudge and sprinkles. After giving the redhead her ice cream she served herself some.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while as they enjoyed their ice cream. Meredith found herself entranced by every sound Addison made, her mouth going dry despite the ice cream she herself ate. She was glad she tore her gaze away before Addison turned to look at her. She half wished her lips were that spoon.

"So have you decided?" Addison asked.

"Have you?" Meredith replied with a question.

"Of course I have." Addison smiled and Meredith's eyes went wide. "I am a double certified surgeon. I already have my specialty, silly."

"Oh. Right." Meredith flashed a nervous smile and went back to her ice cream, which was almost done. "Not sure yet. I liked neuro and general but not too sure yet."

"You have time." Addison said, happily digging into her own. "What did you think I was asking about?" She asked after a bit.

"Oh, nothing." Meredith shook her head.

"Ok, then. Well I'm done. I don't suppose you have something I could change into? I managed a shower at the hospital but I didn't have anything more comfortable in my office." Addison blushed a bit as she asked.

"Oh. Of course. I can find you something. You're pretty leggy though and your hips are a bit wider than mine, which is most definitely fine and I'm not complaining at all…" Meredith said and suddenly stopped. "I'm sorry, tall. You're taller than me so my pajama pants might be too short for you." She said quickly feeling the heat in her cheeks. "I'm… I'll be right back." And with that she left Addison in the kitchen as she scurried up the stairs.

She went into Izzie's room knowing the blonde would have better choices that she would mumbling to herself. She avoided Addison's eyes after she had said what she had said so she was unsure as to how the redhead had taken her comment.

"You're an idiot Meredith. What the hell? How could you say something like that? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

She continued to mumble to herself as she rummaged through the drawers and found some long pajama pants. Then she went to her own room to look for one of her baggy t-shirts remembering how Addison had enjoyed her Dartmouth t-shirt. As she found one she wondered where her favorite shirt had gone. Did Addison still have it?

As she made it back to the kitchen she found Addison putting away the bowls and the mess in the counter cleared. The redhead spun at the sound of her footsteps and gave her a smile.

"You didn't have to clean. I could've done it." Meredith gave her a small smile.

"It's ok. I wanted to. Are those it?" Addison asked, pointing at the bundle of clothes she had in her hand.

"Yep. Izzie's pants and one of my soft shirts. It's worn down like you like them to be." Meredith smiled offering her the clothes.

"How did you know that?" Addison asked.

"Uh you… umm it just seemed like you would enjoy it. I enjoy it. Sorry I didn't mean to assume." Meredith stumbled about.

"It's ok. Thanks. Umm…" Addison waited for her.

"Oh. This way." Meredith led her to the hallway and up the stairs. "This is the bathroom. You can change there." She pointed.

"Thanks." Addison said as she went in. Meredith leaned on the wall and waited. The redhead was out quickly, having changed and still managing to look gorgeous.

"They fit ok?" Meredith asked.

"Yep. Thanks." Addison smiled.

"Well umm Izzie and George both work until noon tomorrow. You could sleep in my room if you like and I'll sleep in Izzie's." Meredith offered, knowing fully well all she wanted was to sleep next to the redhead but… too fast.

"I can take Izzie's. You sleep on your own bed. You've already done plenty." Addison said.

"You've done way more, Addison." Meredith smiled sadly, her eyes drifting to the redhead's arms, still holding finger prints.

"Stop." Addison's voice cut through the dark clouds that were roiling within her.

"Sorry." Meredith mumbled and looked down. Addison walked closer and gently lifted her chin so that she could look at her.

"Not your fault, Mer." She said softly. "You didn't do this. So stop that." Addison smiled a little.

"I still feel…" Meredith began.

"I know." Addison interrupted. "But it's not your fault." She added staring intently into her eyes as if trying to convey all of her emotions and then after a few moments she yawned which made Meredith giggle.

"Come on, Addison. I'll tuck you in." Meredith said, taking her hand.

"Sorry." Addison mumbled.

"Why? It was a very long day. You deserve some sleep. Besides, if you wanna talk or hang out, we can do that tomorrow." Meredith smiled at her over her shoulder.

Meredith guided Addison to Izzie's room and pulled the covers for her. She bowed and motioned for her to get in bed. The redhead giggled, actually giggled which made Meredith's heart swell up at least three sizes. After she settled on her side, still avoiding her back and putting her arm at an angle that would not bother her, she brought the blanket on top of her. Gently she tucked Addison in. The redhead smiling sweetly up at her.

"Alright, my lady. Are you all set?" Meredith asked with a grin.

"Umm yeah." Addison said hesitantly.

"You sure?" Meredith asked as she caught her hesitation.

"Yeah, definitely." Addison assured her.

"Well goodnight and sweet dreams to you, Addison." Meredith smiled.

"Likewise, Meredith." Addison smiled right back.

Addison lay there a few minutes staring at the ceiling. She was glad she was here even if she wished she had been brave enough to ask Meredith to stay. The notion that the blonde was a few doors down though seemed to calm her. It had been quite a day for them both. She had also been happy she was able to school her reactions in the car whenever they went over a bump.

The bruises on her back hurt and kept on getting slightly aggravated but she managed to keep her smile. She was nervous and hyper aware of Meredith's every movement though so that had helped. She ghosted the fingerprints on her arm with her other hand. Images of Derek's face while slamming her against the metal shelf flashing in her head.

She shook the images away and decided to focus on Meredith with her giggles and her scent, raising the blonde's shirt slightly over her face. There it was, the faint smell of lavender. It was a bit slight but it was there and yes the shirt was well worn and soft. She smiled as she cozied up in it and closed her eyes. Meredith had been right. It had been a long day and she needed rest. She was completely exhausted.

She heard the door open and thought it could be Izzie but Meredith had said she was working. So it had to be Meredith.

"Meredith? Coming to check up on me so soon?" She chuckled lightly as she fully opened her eyes.

"Oh yeah. I'm coming to check on you alright." The voice filled her with dread and she sat up quickly pushing herself to the head of the bed.

"You're not real. You're not." Her voice shook as fear poured from her every pore.

"Oh come on Addison. You're not that naive. Are you? You'd think I'd just let this go. Just like that?" Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she shook.

"Derek, please. Please." She pleaded.

"Yes. Beg. Beg me. You are nothing Addison. You are just some insignificant cheating whore. All you can do is beg." He seethed.

"Ok. Ok I'm nothing. Nothing at all." Her voice cracked at places but she didn't care because right now the only thing that mattered was keeping his attention on her. "Do what you want with Derek. Whatever it is you want."

"You sound like a martyr. I'm sorry to say honey that I've already visited her." He said with a sinister laugh as he pulled the limp body of the blonde from beside him, shoving her towards the foot of the bed.

Meredith did not even flinch and she could make out the places on her face and arms where Derek had struck her. Addison slid off the bed and tried to wake her, shaking her slightly. She brought her hands up after feeling warm wetness to find them bloodied.

"Meredith. Meredith please. Wake up. Meredith." Addison sobbed as Derek laughed behind her. "Meredith please. Meredith! Wake up!" She sobbed harder now. "What did you do Derek? Why? Meredith wake up please." She felt arms around her and shook them off.

"No! Don't touch me. Meredith, wake up. Please Mer. Please." She pleaded and again Derek started pulling her away.

"Addison." She heard her name muffled in the distance. "Addison." She heard it again and it was a bit clearer.

"Let go! Meredith wake up. Dammit, wake up!" She continued to sob.

"Addie, please. Addie." She heard Meredith's voice calling to her and looked down searching her eyes but they remained shut as blood oozed from the side of her head.

"Meredith?" She called again. "Please, don't die. Meredith, don't leave me." She cried.

"Addie, I'm here. Wake up. Addison, wake up!" Meredith called clearly now and she opened her eyes.

Light flowed in from the open door and Meredith, eyes full of concern and worry, was holding her up. Meredith?

"Meredith. You're ok." Addison pulled herself away from her to search for the wounds or blood but found none. She quickly pulled her chin down to check her head and nothing. "Where is he? Derek he…" and after that she completely broke down.

"Addison, I'm here. Derek is not. He's gone. I'm ok." Meredith soothed over her sobs then pulled her to her chest and continued to whisper. "I'm here. I'm ok. You're ok. We're safe."

After a while she managed to calm down enough to breathe a bit more evenly. The warmth of the blonde and the steady beating of her heart soothing her as she sniffled. Meredith gently rocked her, managing to stay away from her bruises but still holding onto her.

"I'm sorry." Addison's voice was hoarse from all the crying and screaming.

"No need to be sorry. Are you feeling better? Do you want to lay down?" Meredith asked softly.

"Not here. Please. Can I just… can I…" Addison was not sure of how to ask.

"Come on. My bed is comfier and I need a snuggle buddy tonight." Meredith said getting up and holding her hand out.

"I can stay with you? You won't leave?" Addison asked as she took her hand quickly.

"I'm never leaving you." Meredith smiled, which in turn made her smile as the fear slightly gave away.

The blonde gently tugged her leading her to her room and she happily complied because right now she needed her more than anything. She needed to feel her warmth to hear her breaths or snores. It did not matter how loud she just needed to know she was there with her and alive.

And then there were 16! I hope you guys are doing well. I'm so sorry for leaving y'all hanging but I did give you stuff ;). Anyway as always thanks so much for the reviews and likes and such also for your patience. Do know I try to update as much as I can but life's messy and complicated and there's quite a bit I have to do. But whatever you guys stay awesome. Until next time ;)