Mikasa said her goodbye to Sasha and the girls after breakfast the next week. It was a bright and beautiful day. Above, a hawk drifted through the blearing summer winds, its wings spanning far. Uncaring to the land below him. Mikasa tried to remember that was what she was pretending to do. To fly forward without turning back. Yes, it was a very fine day to be joyful, yet none of the girls were smiling and laughing as they should.

Sasha was the last to embrace her, face red with suppressed sobs, mirroring her own. Her grip on her jacket was strong and the ache on Mikasa's heart was stronger. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to leave this. "Return soon or I'll drag you back myself."

"Don't sell my things while I'm gone." Her voice quivered even as she laughed.

"I love you, Mika. You're a true friend," Sasha whispered. "An even better sister to me and all the girls. Be careful."

"I love you too, Sasha, and… thank you. You mend me back when I'm in pieces and I couldn't thank you enough."

"That's why you need to go home soon, so I can fix you again. Who knows where you'll end up if it wasn't for me."

They both chuckled, and when it was time to go, Mikasa slung her backpack and looked back for the last time at her home for the past years.

Same white brick walls, same fenced garden, a different family—all hers, all home.

Petra and the girls waved at her, shouting blessings of a safe passage, and Mikasa waved back. Her eyes caught Sasha's and she was crying, because while everyone else assumed she was just off to spend time with Levi, Sasha knew. They both had talked about everything last night.

Sasha knew. Mikasa, too.

'See you, Mikasa,' Sasha mouthed.

She didn't mouth back.

Levi welcomed her in the gates of the warehouse. It wasn't big, just barely sufficient to house a hundred or so people, but it was enough. It was strong enough to withhold storm and rain, and it was weak enough to be devoured by fire in minutes when they need to flee.

Levi wore the same military coat he always wore, black with blue linings, details that Mikasa tried to memorize whenever he would turn around from the orphanage's doors and walked away leaving her.

"A new badge." She pointed at the new seams below the collar. "Wings. For the rebels."

She didn't quite ask, so he didn't answer either.

"Wings," he nodded, and they both walked inside.

Over the next few weeks, Mikasa learned. She learned about the history and background of this underground rebellion, their sponsors, their allies in the government, their spies in foreign lands, their weaponries and funds, and lastly, their members—who would nod at her in greeting and explained to her their mission's details despite the blatant fact that she was clearly and openly not trusted.

She didn't blame them. Not when she knew what she was there for.

"You have another plan than the one you told the members," she said to Levi.

"I do."

They were sitting in the corner of the main hall. The other members, whom she began to remember their names, were dancing merrily in the center space. It was what they often did. They would pass around a barrel of smuggled alcohol and writhed loudly in drunkenness, in pain, until the liquor clouded their mind and pushed them to dreamless nothingness. Mikasa understood. The people here had lost their everything due to the war and the bloodshed outside. Some of them, the truly serious and determined ones, were refugees and immigrants running away from the tramples of Eren's path of destruction. The other factions consisted of the royal family's loyalists, idealist citizen groups, anti-Titan supporters, or just people who wanted to die valiantly for their island. They were only united with the hatred toward Eren Yeager. Toward the man she loved.

"And I can't tell you about it," her brother continued, his hand tightening on the bottle.

"I know," she swallowed thickly, turning her face away to blink back the tears. "It's okay."

Because Mikasa knew, despite the important role she played in the plan—as a bait, how important was that—she will never be accepted as the rest of them. They had lost something because of Eren while she had gained something from him. But what was it, she wanted to shout, what did she gain from being with a man like him? Love? Safety?

It was all precautionary. Erwin himself had told her that. And she understood, she really did. She made this choice to be a bait herself. She wanted to save Eren and she wanted to help her brother to save Eren. And yet, their rejection and disgusted scowls directed at her didn't hurt any less even after that bitter acceptance.

Mikasa gulped the burning liquid away.

That night, when he first kissed her, the sky was dark and clouded and shrouded from the bright freckles of stars. There was a fleeting smell of ashes from their dead fire. It reminded her of the smell in her parents' cremation, grey stardust lingering in her hair, murmuring hateful words into her ears. It revealed to her of empty houses, soundless laughter, dead touches.

Eren pressed his lips gently on hers. He smelt of peaches, the sweet and honeyed scent clinging to her lips and mind, replacing the stench of death in her memories. He sighed into her mouth and smiled. Beneath them, the sand shifted. Around them, the ocean mist swayed. Ahead of them, the waves crashed and fell against the corals, and Mikasa tried to match her thundering heartbeat to its rhythm. Her fingers unconsciously gripped Eren's shirt.

He kissed her again before pulling back.

"Know that I have loved you my entire life, and I will continue to love you for the rest," he whispered to her hair.

"Then don't leave."

"I can't. I have to be away from you to protect you," he exhaled heavily, tilting her chin to look at him.

"Why do you always go where I can't follow you…?"

His lips sought hers again, pulling her to settle on top of him, the sudden movement creating a shower of sand on them. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to leave you. Please. Kiss me back, Mika. Kiss me."

They loved each other. All of their dark and untouched parts which were hers and his alone. Here, they were not the Ackerman girl and the Titan Shifter. Not two separated childhood friends. Not two lovers bound to an eternal promise. Not two soldiers on the opposite sides of a war. Not even Mikasa and Eren.

She kissed him back with the same desperation.

In between kisses, he confessed, "Sometimes, I barely feel human. But with you, with you Mikasa, I—"

"You're always human," she cut him off. "You're just one man. As I am just one woman."

"Forgive me. I have to leave you again soon," he sobbed. Mikasa listened to the tone in the truth of his words. She accepted his apology, over and over again, and brushed her lips on his forehead. There was nothing to forgive, she wanted to lie. There was nothing they could do.

"I know, Eren. But I won't wait. I think even forever has its limit. We both know that."

There was always distance in the shape of their intertwined bodies. But there was also love in the shape of their separation.

The tides sang of their heartbreak, demanding her to be loud in her anguish.

But today, among the clamour of men's shouting, she was silent. That memory from a year ago was just it. A memory. Lost in the cobwebs of betrayal and loyalty.

"We have dispatched two regiments to scout their base in Ashopp. For now we sense no unusual movements that might indicate they're moving or planning something."

Erwin Smith sighed from his place in the head of the table. "Alright. Any news from the Minister?"

"The Palace is secured of any spies."

"But how can we be sure? The Yeagerist can be seen as a citizen group. Their members can blend in easily."

"They could. But we have investigated all of the core members' background, their families, their friends, their former associations, all of it. All of the information we try to find is either non-existent or buried."

"And who are these core members? Except Eren Yeager."

"Armin Arlert, the Colossal Titan. Annie Leonhardt, Female Titan. Reiner Braun, Armor. Pieck Finger, Cart. Last we saw him, Reiner is injured in battle. Grievously, even the Titan Power can only do so much to hasten the recovery. His nape was briefly sliced."

"Then it is our chance to strike them without their best defender."

"Yes. Pieck Finger… she is a pacifist. Will only fight in serious dangers. We should move in quickly and efficiently without her noticing if we want to have her out of the battlefield."

"What about the other two Titans?"

Levi spoke out for the first time. "We have new information about them. Armin and Annie, they are starting to distance themselves from the group. We haven't seen them in the base or any movements in the past few months."

"And why is that? A change of heart? As if monsters like them could do that," someone spat.

"We don't know. Annie Leonhardt is suffering from a mysterious illness and unable to fight for long periods. Armin Arlert is her lover. We believe they wanted to defect to live a quieter life to not worsen her condition. We don't even know if they are still currently with the Yeagerist or not."

They were not, Mikasa wanted to say. They left months ago. Eren had let them. But of course she didn't say anything. It was better this way, to protect Armin and Annie so they wouldn't chase them. She might be selfless to join this rebellion, but she was still selfish enough to want to protect her friends.

"Then our main enemy is Eren Yeager, as it should be." The man glanced at Erwin briefly. "We will extract his power and imprison him. We will use Mikasa Ackerman to lure him out. Mikasa, do you understand?"

Her hands shook as she did the rebellion's salute Levi taught her. She couldn't relieve the ice in her joints. Her eyes grew blurry when she forced out a smile as she realized how far she had fallen in this hell.

"I do."

"Good. Then at dawn, we will burn them to the ground."

There were many endings to this story. And how did each of them truly ended, if not with a regret that it ever started at all?

Levi had glued her to his side as the rebellion moved out to Ashopp for their final confrontation. It took them the whole day, and between the loudness of the engines and silence of the night, Mikasa drifted off to sleep. She went back to her childhood days of dancing with butterflies and eating dried mangoes in their tree. She saw her little self with Eren and Armin from behind the curtain that separated the sleeping and waking worlds.

"I want to become an explorer!" Eren hollered.

"I want to become a researcher like my parents. I still don't know though if I want to go into the science field or history. I like them both," Armin laughed.

"How about you, Mika?"

She watched her younger counterpart fiddled with her dress. "I don't know. Follow the rest of the clan, I guess. Become a soldier and pledge my service to the Crown."

"It's okay, Mika, you don't have to figure all things out right now," Armin smiled. "We'll support you always."

"Thank you, Armin. And I'll support you two as well. I know you both will do great things in your lives."

"I want to visit all places in the world," Eren continued. "Mikasa, Armin, you both should come with me!"

Little Mikasa smiled widely, her eyes large and yearning, longing throbbing inside her chest. She used to want it more than anything in the world. To be with the boys she loved, to be with Eren, exploring the world as they explored themselves too.

Adult Mikasa smiled too. Wistful, this time. She inhaled air greedily as tears formed in her eyes. The dream world was dissipating, was running out, just like everything in her life was about to run out.

"And we shall be the freest people in the world!" Eren finished his fiery speech. "We will live in fantasy and never wake up from there."

The three kids laughed and faded.

"But you forgot one thing, Eren," Mikasa slowly woke up. "You forgot what we are. We are also a dream. Just like what you wanted. And every time we leave each other, I have to wake up."

They arrived at the outskirt of Ashopp in the early hours of morning. They geared up in silence, a sort of detachment from reality, and prepared to go into positions.

And when it was time, Levi hugged her, "Be careful."

"You too," she whispered to his shoulder. "I'm sorry. And thank you."

"What are you sorry for, brat? I—we—should be the one thanking you. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you."

"How come it turns out like this, Levi? The bonds you and Erwin shared, the one our parents shared, and the rest of our clan, it's so beautiful and pure. I envy it. Why does my own—"

Levi shushed her. "Don't think about it. Don't think about anything else. You love him. He loves you. It's all that mattered in the end."

"I just want to be with him."

Above all, she thought, she wanted Eren to be happy. And for him to be happy, she needed to help free him from his hatred and cruelty. At the end of the day, Mikasa wanted him to live peacefully without his burden, and also to be with her without inhibition. Bonded or not, she wanted that. But she knew she couldn't have both, so she settled for his happiness even though it costed her own.

The first leaf of autumn fell on her palm, and the air retreated into silence. She looked away, met Erwin's eyes, and nodded. She would meet him again. Eren. Something inside of her that felt like hope—like love—flickered as the leaf floated away.

On the east, the first bomb exploded.

As they had hoped, the Yeagerist caught the trap they set out as a lure. A part of their base had crumbled and soon people scampered out with weapons drawn ready. The first part of the battle ensued with nothing but raw hands tearing each other's fleshes, gunshots piercing into the sky, and the blinding light of blasts erupting.

Mikasa watched from afar as more smoke began to rise covering the whole field in a layer of silvered powder. At the main entrance of the building, where the rest of the rebels had stormed into, another explosion set off.

And then, another. But this one. Mikasa knew this one. It was the lightning strike of Eren's shifting into his Titan, and it came right from the middle of their command tent on the edge of the forest. She stood up suddenly, her heart caught in her throat. He wasn't supposed to find them so soon. He was supposed to fight the rebels long enough until he was exhausted and he could be extracted from the nape.

Levi, oh God, her brother was in the tent right now.

It was like one of the nightmares where she couldn't outrun time. She could see the destroyed tent, the bodies littering on the field like a collapsed domino—the sound of sand trickling to the bottom of an hourglass beginning to get louder and louder in her ears. It was counting down. Levi was counting down on his life.

Her brother, her only family left. He was the strongest of them all, invincible and undefeatable, and he wasn't supposed to be eliminated in the game he himself had created. She couldn't lose him again. She couldn't be left alone so soon.

Mother, Father, don't take him back yet. He needs to see the result of the peace he fights for.

And this was how the ending to her story started.

Eren stood tall with fist drenched with blood. Her hands were frozen as she pulled back the dead body that covered her brother's. They were by the river, the steady stream of water accompanying the muffled screams of injured soldiers. There was a crushed tiny flower between Levi's fingers. Her eyes were bloodshot, wide and unfocused, as she took in the scene.

Levi's body laid flatly on the riverbed, chest sliced open and dark crimson pooling into the water. Dirt and soil plastered to his paling skin. The wings emblem on his coat was torn. And then, rain fell. The droplets were spattered with dark red. His grey orbs—just like hers—dull and opened in a silent groan.

Mikasa choked on a sob and she crawled on her knees to sit next to him. She gathered his body in her arms, brushing off the grimes because she knew her brother didn't like being dirty, bundling his mangled body in her coat and there was nothing she was more desperate to keep than this wavering pause between life and death. She barely acknowledged the large titan hand moving to roof her and Levi from the volley of blasts.

"Don't cry… brat," he managed a frown. "Y-you have to keep going."

"You promised not to left me alone," she cried.

"You will… never… be alone."

And then he closed his eyes. He had protected Erwin from the explosion. Mikasa knew her brother hadn't wanted any other way to die except like this. Protecting. Loving. To the very end.

The plan fell through with Levi's death.

The command tent was entirely decimated, the last remaining missiles destroyed to pieces, and the majority of their forces were either dead or crushed beneath the rubbles. The casualties were heavy on both sides and Mikasa knew the battle was ending soon. There would be no victors and losers. Only dead bodies and lost families.

It became too much for her just to sit there trying to grasp all the destruction around. The rain was too blinding, Levi's death was too violent, and her wounded hand burned almost as much as her heart and eyes did as the ground below her parted.

Behind her, Erwin rose. Victorious over death, but not really. His arm hung limply on his side, head bowed, with a sacrifice that he didn't expect to happen at his feet.

Mikasa didn't care what he was going to do. Avenging Levi and the others, but how? Avenging them wouldn't bring them back from the dead. Maybe, she thought bitterly, their losses were never meant to be avenged. There was no use for the flaming emblem of wings. They were shot down before getting enough momentum to fly.

Then, with no time wasted, they entered the climax of this story. Mikasa had a front row seat to the unfolding battle, still cradling Levi's cold body, as she watched the steam erupting from Eren's Titan body. The rain was getting more brutal and it enveloped the whole place in stark whiteness. It was unnerving, how quick the water washed away the blood, leaving only a blank canvas for them to finish the painting. Along the river, blue bellflowers shot up. Those, and the rustling evergreen trees, were the silent witnesses to what would follow right after. It already felt like a funeral, like a celebration.

The rest of the rebels surrounded their last stronghold. Without his power, Eren looked tired, human just like all of them. His hair was down, marks burning off from his cheek, and when the wind blew in their direction, his eyes met hers.

Yes, Eren, it was me who betrayed you. I am a traitor. I am a traitor.

But at the same time:

Don't fall for the trap, Eren. Don't fall for it. Don't fall for it.

He smiled at her. He'd understood.

And in her mind, it all slowed down. Like the hourglass had been tipped back, stopping the flow of sand, of time and space. A Titan roar flared up from behind the rebels, and they screamed and ran away, as an armoured hand swatted them like flies. Erwin stood still among his men and Eren walked toward him, hand raised to his mouth, and Mikasa—

"Happy birthday, Mikasa."

Mikasa couldn't help the big smile blooming on her lips. "Thank you, Eren."

"I collected this from the fields near the walls this morning," he handed her a bouquet of bellflowers, her favourite flowers, "I hope you like it."

Even though night had taken over the sky, the warm weather wasn't quite gone yet. Owls hooted and whistled from their hides among the trees, blades of honeysuckles rustling in the symphony of the world welcoming another day. It was dark, but anyone could see the vibrant look on Mikasa's face as she received the gift.

"Thanks, Eren. It's beautiful."

"But that isn't my main gift."

"Really? You don't need to bother yourself with my birthday gifts you know."

"It's okay. I wanted to. It's a special year for you."

Every year is special with you, Mikasa thought.

"Then where is it?"

Eren laughed, "So impatient. Let's just sit around for a while."

He laid her head in his lap as always. Her fingers grazed the bed of jasmines around them, feeling the small petals unfurling trustingly to her.

"You seem so distant lately, Eren. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

His eyes were faraway, lost, when he finally answered. "There is these… constant chatter in my head. I don't know which voice is whose."

"What do they say to you?"

"They tell me of the worst to come. Paradis' eventual destruction, our people oppressed and enslaved, my family and friends gone. All of it. It haunts me. Even though it has yet to come."

"You don't have to listen to them."

"I can't. I know they are going to be true."

"No, it's not. You said your friends are gone. But I won't leave you, Eren. I won't be one of them that are gone."

"I know, Mika," he turned to her and smiled. "Those voices also told me that you love me."

Heat rose up to her cheek and Mikasa pushed Eren away. "W-what? Stop playing around."

"I'm not. I'll show you."

Universes away, Eren had remembered this scene played out down to the last syllable that her pretty mouth formed. She loved him. He knew that. He had seen it on her bones, overpowering the decay of lost hopes, on her veins, carrying her devotion to him even after both of them had died.

There, Eren watched. Here, Eren acted. He sliced open his wrist, and pressed his lips into her hair. Even with the tragedy that soon became inevitable, they managed to love each other. It was all that mattered to him.

Mikasa screamed. She watched the waterfall of blood draining Eren of his life force. She shook him and smacked him for hurting himself. In her panic and sobs, she felt it. Neither of them had been ready to admit to such bond, to such eternal attachment, but it happened. They needed it to happen. And this was how the scene continued, one of the endings that the present time branched out from:

Eren collapsing in the grass. Mikasa hovering above him, hands tearing her dress to make bandages for his wrist. Her gentle hands anchoring him to the ground. It was at this moment that both felt the unexplainable chains grounding them to each other. The chain that connected life and death, where one soul couldn't survive with the other, and Eren had forced his life forfeit to activate it. And then Mikasa realized that his wrist had healed, the steam had dissipated and she stilled.

It was in this moment that the memories and visions spanning centuries ago came back to her like an anchor being pulled up. The history and bonds of all Ackerman who came before her. She saw her parents. She saw Levi and Erwin. She saw herself and Eren.

When her shivers finally settled, Eren embraced her.

"I'm sorry, I had to. I'm sorry. Mikasa, I need you to understand. I'm sorry."

They unwounded each other. Secrets laid out between them like the petals of bellflowers scattered among them. Now, they belonged to this.

She mourned their fates.

Before Eren could bite his hand and transform again, Mikasa ran to stop him. She placed herself between him, the person she knew better than herself, and the rebels, the people she just knew and hated her. But this was how this ending should be, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She would be strong just like her brother.

"Mikasa, don't stop me," his eyes were sad. He too, she thought, had been mourning. "Don't force me."

"Too many have died, Eren. Stop. Please."

"They died for what they believed in. I couldn't stop them."

She gripped the edge of his shirt. "I know… I know you think you won't find your freedom and peace until you change everything. But there is no burden in this world that you have to carry alone. We can talk this through, all of us, for what is best for Paradis. You don't have to do it all alone." Then, she repeated what Levi had said to her. "You will never be alone."

Eren circled his arms on her shoulder and kissed her forehead gently. "I don't have a choice. But you do, Mika. Get away from here. Take Levi and go. Bury him. I'll go find you afterward."

"You will die here," she whispered, leaning her forehead against his chest. Behind her, something clicked into place. Erwin. He was alive. Good. Someone would still be alive to remember her brother and continue the fight. Paradis would be okay. Her family and friends would be safe.

"We'd agree together, do you remember? I won't leave you alone."

"And after all of this are done, what will you do?"

"I will do anything for you. Just like what I promised," he said.

She held him tight in her arms and turned them around. She watched from Eren's shoulders Erwin as the man stood.

'It's okay. I forgive you,' she mouthed to him. 'Thank you.'

"No. Everything, Eren," she corrected. "Everything as long as we're together."

Eren paused and she tucked his head closer to hers. She clutched his sides like he was the ocean mist from that beach a year ago and she couldn't capture him in her hands.

"I love you, Eren."

She did her best to forget everything. The sound of a whirling engine muted in her ears. They wouldn't be touched by the light again, but in the moments where the warm rays of the dusk crept through between the foliage and the air was warm and Eren's soft lips was on hers, Mikasa let herself remembered. Just for this time. He was here, with her, now and always.

She wanted to ask the universe to allow them more time. But she knew better. At least, in this life they have lived a great journey together.

Together. Forever.

Erwin shot the missile, and in a split second she knew that Eren could have avoided it, could have dropped her and jumped back, but for some reason he didn't and allowed it to strike through his nape and her chest.

And as smoke and blood buried them in their bubble—in their coffin—Mikasa slumped against him and he found her hand. He whispered to her one last time. She didn't hear the words, but she knew he was finally at peace. Neither of them moved again.

The river trickled steadily, quietly.

Autumn greeted them in its gentle embrace. The hearths were ablaze, tables filled with food, beds piled with extra pillows.

Sasha smiled, appreciating her newest creation. She had sewn hers and Mikasa's blankets together. Winter would be a harsh one, and the blanket will provide her with the thick layering she needed.

"So, I didn't really sell off your things, Mika. Don't be angry with me and haunt me in my sleep."

Historia, sitting beside her reading a book, laughed. "She definitely will."

They were at the hill behind the orphanage. The children were out with Niccolo for a food taste test at his restaurant in the city. Petra had invited her and Historia to come along, but both girls refused and instead chose to lounge around enjoying the cool breeze.

"Do you want one? I can sew you another. We have a lot of wools laying around."

"If you're not busy, then sure. I want to bring it to my next trip to Marley. It's colder there."

"Oh, then I should make more for Armin, Annie, Reiner, and Pieck."

"I'm sure they would love it, Sasha."

"I'll be alone again until you returned from Marley," the brunette huffed.

"You're always welcome to join us."

"And listen to some boring peace negotiations and stuff? God, I wish Erwin Smith will be there. He is sure a sight for sore eyes."

Historia chuckled. "He is both handsome and smart, I'll give him that. He's planning to build a memorial statue in the city's fountain."

"Yeah, Jean told me about it. A statue for his lover. How magical is that."

"It's not for his lover. It's for Levi Ackerman."

"They're the same person."

"But in a different context."

"Hey, why didn't Mikasa get a statue? It's unfair. I should declare an open protest."

Historia slapped Sasha's thigh. "You know she wouldn't like that."

"Yeah, you're right. It's enough for you to have your own little memorial here, right, Mikasa?"

Sasha patted the small tombstone next to her. She had sewn another little blanket to cover it and it kind of looked funny, but nobody really came to this hill anyway, so Sasha shrugged it off. She had covered Eren's tombstone as well. His had a smiley face on it.

"I always wonder, Sasha. Do you write those words by yourself? The one carved in their stones."

"Of course not. There was a note in Mikasa's pillow. The words are what written in there."

Historia nodded. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad she's happy now. Both of them."

A leaf drifted, carried by the wind, to the ocean where two young souls were resting with one another.

And we will see each other again.

In a free world, as free people.

Note:

Thank you so much for following this story to the end. I hope you like the ending. I hope it doesn't seemed too rushed. Thank you again! Follow me on my twt inoyamakiori for wips (prob?) and updates information.