Janeway took command over from Chakotay, who had had the night shift, early the next morning after her discussion with Gretchen. She knew he had not been on the Bridge very much. The alliance had been officially announced to the ship the night before, and she had left it to Chakotay to smooth over the controversial arrangement with any difficult or nervous crew members.
There was a strange tense atmosphere in the air, not hostile, but cautious and stressed. Chakotay explained the latest news in her Ready Room, before rushing off to have breakfast with his daughter, who he had only seen in passing since her recovery.
There was a lot to do, and only two more nights before the changeover. B'Elanna, Seven, and Harry were leading the manufacture and installation of the stasis pods. They were using almost the entirety of Deck 5, as there was no way that Sickbay alone would be able to hold 76 pods.
The Doctor was overseeing the medical side, checking the pods and examining the male crew members in case of any issues. Neelix was baking up a storm in between trying to help the crew adjust to the new situation. Most of the rest of her crew were involved in training and rescheduling assignments between trying to make their personal arrangements.
I'm sorry I can't give the male crew members some time off to prepare, thought Janeway to herself as she settled in her desk chair, but maybe it's better that they don't have more time to dread it…..
Janeway sighed to herself, besides the technology side which she trusted her specialists to handle, the biggest hurdle at the moment was how Voyager would run with half staffing. It was certainly going to be a challenge. She needed to consider transfers and promotions with all of the men gone for months.
The Doctor will still be in charge of Sickbay, after the initial transfer I hope it won't be too much extra work. And he still has his holographic helpers that Tom suggested months ago.
B'Elanna will still be in charge of Engineering, though she's losing a lot of her help. The K'Terrans will be working there, which means we also need to keep an eye on them. Astrometrics with Seven will be less important with us going at such quick speeds and not needing to stop for supplies, maybe I could transfer a few people from there, and the other less vital sections of the ship.
That leaves us to the Bridge, and senior staff, which is half male. I'm losing my head pilot, communications officer, security officer, and second-in-command.
Oh, and our morale officer will be gone too. Just when we need one the most.
She sighed again, deeply, as she started to look seriously at the candidates for the pilot position.
I am not looking forward to any of this.
Finally the long day started to draw to a close for Janeway and Chakotay entered her Ready Room again.
"How's the crew?" asked Janeway, as she had barely had a chance to see anyone outside of senior staff.
"Nervous, but alright," said Chakotay, "How did the shift go?"
"Everyone is making progress on the transfer. Engineering is actually ahead of schedule. B'Elanna is about to kill the K'Terrans, but considering the stress she's under and her temper, that's hardly a surprise. I trust she'll restrain her more violent impulses," said Janeway, a bit humorously.
"I have a list of promotions and transfers I want you to look over," she added, standing up and handing him a datapad.
He looked at it intently, and started to nod as he began to read, "Ariti is a great choice in place of Joe Carey as second-in-command of Engineering. She's a little reserved, but everyone knows her at this point, I don't see it mattering. She's calm and will be a good counterbalance to B'Elanna. She's got a backbone too, she'll expedite if she has to."
He continued to look, "I agree with your choice of pilot, Tran doesn't have Tom's level of talent, but she's still gifted and a team player…Mathieu's a very experienced Bridge officer to replace Harry, some of the Maquis in particular find her stand-off-ish, but I agree with your choice, unless you want to replace her with Gretchen."
"Is that a serious suggestion?" said Janeway, looking at him intently, "Does she even have experience in communications?"
"She does," said Chakotay, "Though not nearly as extensive as Mathieu. I mentioned her mainly because Mathieu and B'Elanna don't get along, and with this alliance they'll have to work together a lot at the systems side of the job, which Gretchen is experienced at."
"B'Elanna and Gretchen don't get along," said Janeway firmly.
"Not personally," said Chakotay, "But they work just fine professionally now that we're through the Rift. Gretchen was nervous about that, as you might imagine and she drove B'Elanna crazy being overly cautious. But we've been out of the Rift for months and they work together fine now. B'Elanna's actually requested to keep her help during the stasis transfer. In fact, she's down there now."
"She's supposed to be resting," said Janeway, raising her voice.
"The Doctor approved some half shifts, and it would be worse on her just twiddling her thumbs," said Chakotay firmly.
Janeway sighed, Why do I sometimes feel like I don't know what's going on on my own ship?
Chakotay looked back at the datapad, "I agree with Seven taking Tuvok's place, she won't need to spend all her time in Astrometrics now, and that will give you another senior staffer on the Bridge, you're losing all of them there."
Don't I know it.
"…..I don't see anyone in charge of the Mess Hall," he said disapprovingly.
"We won't really need it," said Janeway, "Not with the extra replicator rations."
"That's true," said Chakotay, "But the Mess Hall is necessary for other reasons as well, it makes people feel at home….But I agree with you that I don't know who would do that. We can't spare anyone to be hostess."
Janeway nodded and he continued, "I also don't see anyone added to the senior staff."
"For only four months I think it would be more awkward than anything with the chain of command," sighed Janeway, "By the time they get used to consistently giving their opinions on decisions and being in charge of Voyager we'll be asking them to go back to not doing that. And with only a little over 70 crew members, I'm tempted to think a five person senior staff is enough."
"In a sense I agree with you," said Chakotay, "We can't afford to make changes that will hurt us a few months down the road, but a bigger senior staff would allow more perspectives, and potentially a larger ability to solve problems if something does crop up…you don't even have a second-in-command if you're somehow injured," he finished, looking pained.
"I plan on making the Doctor second-in-command," said Janeway, "Considering that this is, in a sense, a medical emergency. If something truly happens I'll be expecting him to end the stasis and we'll be back to the normal chain of command: you and then Tuvok."
He nodded and handed the datapad back to her, "I think it's as good as we're going to get, though I think you should seriously consider where to put Gretchen."
"I've been waiting to see how she's doing…..she talked to me last night but she acted…..strangely."
Chakotay's expression turned intense, and concerned.
"She seemed in good spirits when she spoke to me this morning at breakfast. Tom and Harry were there though, and that almost always helps. Has she had more visions since waking up?"
"I don't know," said Janeway cautiously, "She didn't speak about that much…..it's just," Kathryn fiddled with her hands, frustration in her voice, "When she came in here last night it was like she wasn't even there."
"What do you mean?" said Chakotay.
"It was like…" said Kathryn, looking away, "It was like she was afraid of me…" she said looking back, "Of displeasing me I guess."
Chakotay frowned and Kathryn found herself turning her back and walking over to the window, staring out at it as if for answers. Her arms gestured aggressively and her voice had an edge to it, "This is the woman that stared me down about my decisions about the Equinox and the Rift aliens. This is the woman that went behind my back to help Marla Gilmore and then went to the Brig, totally defiant, rather than talk about it. This is the woman that hatched a plan to layer her own plot on top of mine and steal another Borg transwarp coil...…that defied the Equinox mutiny, and the Borg, and demonic Rift aliens…..where the hell does she get off getting frightened of me?"
Kathryn sagged as she finished, and felt her hands going against the cold glass, almost putting her head to it. She heard Chakotay approach, but spoke again to hold him in place, "How am I worse?" she said suddenly, voice completely flat and lifeless, "What did I do to her that makes me more terrifying, more effective a villain, than all those other horrors combined?"
She turned toward Chakotay, and her face was expressionless.
His voice was warm, but not merely comforting, "I don't know," he sighed, "She didn't say much but…she told me she had a vision of her mother's death when she was in Sickbay…..I suppose she's been thinking a lot about her mother lately. A woman who from what you said…..didn't have much confidence in Gretchen."
Janeway stared at him as if enthralled, it was the first time she had heard him truly admit her future self might have failed their daughter, "We all get our strength, our confidence from somewhere," he continued, "The ability to face outside threats like the Borg, and mutinies, and Rift aliens. A few people seem almost indestructible from the day they're born but…..the vast majority of the time we learn to draw strength from parents, family, our community, our beliefs. They breathe their life, their voices, into us. No matter how temporary I suppose…..she's been thrown off by remembering someone that she couldn't draw strength from, when she desperately needed to. Her mother died quite suddenly…..I imagine there was a lot left unsaid between them…..or perhaps their last words to each other were harsh…..Whatever happened between them lives inside Gretchen…The threat is inside her, that makes it 100 times harder to deal with."
Kathryn gulped and looked away and as she did so his voice became more passionate.
"But you're not that woman. You're not responsible for things you've never done. And you're acting differently. Whatever she saw, she's still in the haze of that vision, but she'll come out of it, she'll recover with support…I just wish I had more time with her," he said sighing, and his voice became very quiet.
"I regret a lot that happened between my father and myself, that we never understood each other, and I was a fully grown man when he died. I was so convinced that I'd failed him and our tribe, I was so haunted by the idea he'd died without me to support him, that I left Starfleet and joined the Maquis. Years of anger….of hating myself, of wishing we'd been able to stand shoulder to shoulder as father and son. Until someone….." he glanced at Janeway very briefly, but she did not miss it, "Pulled me out of it….gave me a different perspective….."
He looked away then and his broad shoulders sagged, "I know it won't be that simple for our daughter…..she's been through much more, and much younger…She's still on that brain damaging herb, dealing with visions from her own timeline…..and now something else…"
His voice became bitter, "Thanks to this Faustian bargain she's losing her two best friends, her meditation master, and her father all in the same blow…..I'm afraid this is all going to hit when I can't do a damn thing about it." He raised his voice as he looked at her, "You have no idea how frustrating that is…..that I can't watch over her when she needs me."
"I'll take care of her Chakotay, I promise," said Kathryn, closing the distance between them suddenly and putting a hand, which she had intended to place on his shoulder…..but instead laid on top of his heart.
"I know," he said softly.
His voice was warm and calm, steady and gentle. But she knew him well enough that underneath all that, she could hear fear.