Kathryn and the Doctor exchanged the briefest horrified look before they both rushed out of Sickbay.
"Monitor Kincaid," yelled the EMH at one of his assistants, as they moved out the door.
Gretchen's unconscious and I have to see if there's anything I can do for B'Elanna. Came Kathyrn's hurried thoughts.
The turbolift ride was excruciating. She had never been so unhappy that they could not use the site-to-site transport system in Engineering.
Surely she's not, surely she's not dead. Resounded Kathryn's thoughts. Surely not, surely…
B'Elanna's too stubborn, too young, too smart to die, came a voice inside her head.
Anyone can die, came another voice, flashing an image of her father, and then John, her first fiancé. Both strong and lively, tough, trained Starfleet officers. Her father had been experienced and decorated; John had been younger than Gretchen, talented and ambitious. It had not stopped either of them from dying.
B'Elanna's so stubborn…..and blind right now…..she would do something she's not capable of.
Please B'Elanna, came her final inner voice as the doors to Engineering opened, Please.
B'Elanna's body was immediately visible, laid out in the middle of Engineering.
Kathryn gasped before she could stop herself. The body was rigidly posed, as if rigor mortis had already set in. Dark purple lines were creeping along her veins, as if she had been poisoned.
But her chest…..her chest was pulsing.
"Oh God," said Sam's distressed voice from Janeway's right, "It wasn't doing that before. It's moving. Is she alive?"
"She is," said the Doctor urgently, as he knelt over her with a scanner, "For now. Her lungs are desperately trying to bring in air. That Klingon constitution again. It may yet get her out of this…bring a stretcher now," he ordered grimly to two of the Security officers that were arriving, "We have to get her down to Sickbay and put her on a respirator."
The Doctor's face was tight, and Janeway understood even moving her would be difficult.
"Was anyone else hurt?" she asked, turning to Sam.
"No, but we have had to seal off part of the core. At first we thought she had just fallen, but then we realized why. There was a leak in the Esoterian gas core, and it sprayed her. It's poisonous to humans."
"I want a full report," ordered Janeway hurriedly, "Where are the K'Terrans?"
"Soeur had a meeting with Seven in Astrometrics," said Sam, "I'm not sure about Shimai."
"I am here dearie," came the voice of the turquoise alien behind them, "I had left something on our ship. Whatever has happened?" she said in dismay, looking at the body as they began to lift it on the stretcher, "Is Lt. Torres alright?"
"She may be," said Janeway firmly, "The Esoterian gas sprayed in her face."
"How awful," said Shimai, "Perhaps I may be of some assistance."
"Sam would you go with her and let her look at the site?" asked Janeway.
Sam nodded, glancing sadly at B'Elanna's stretcher.
It was the longest night Janeway could remember, though another night began hazily to drift into her consciousness, one she had pushed as far down as she could, the night after both her father and John had been killed.
Desolate and lonely, Kathryn had watched as the Doctor tried to stabilize B'Elanna. Slow minutes turned into excruciatingly long hours, in which Kathryn stood, staring at the Doctor as he tried desperately to hook B'Elanna's lungs up to a respirator. One would work for a few moments, and then fail under the pressure of the poison. B'Elanna had crashed…..dying…..over 50 times in 6 hours.
The pure exhaustion of watching it was almost too much for Kathryn. She was so horrified watching B'Elanna's heart stop once more that she felt numb. It was as if she had never been anywhere else. Her entire existence had never been anything, would never be anything, but the edge of terror, watching the Doctor work.
Finally, in a moment that did not seem real, but in which she sagged backwards into a chair, feeling no relief, the Doctor had declared that the latest respirator seemed to have held.
"It's been holding 30 minutes now," came his quiet voice, "I almost dare to say this is the one….or maybe that the tiniest bit of poison has worked its way out of her system finally….I'll be here if she needs me of course, thankfully I'm a hologram and I don't feel tired…..but you should go back to your quarters….or let me put you under with a hypospray."
"I'd never forgive myself if she died alone…..not when I don't absolutely have to be somewhere else…..I'm staying Doctor," she answered tiredly, staring at B'Elanna's pained and contorted face in dismay.
"Alright, Captain," said the Doctor gently, "But I'm going to insist you eat….something….and I'll make up this medical bed for you…..you really should sleep. I'll wake you up if it seems like…..this is the time….."
Kathryn shook slightly, and continued to stare. She did not protest when the Doctor brought her a hot mug and a blanket, though she had no intention of using the latter.
She held the mug in her hand for a long time, the smell finally wafting to her nose, and she recognized it as Gretchen's favorite Bajoran soup.
She smiled very slightly, bringing her exhausted eyes over to the still sleeping woman. Then she looked away suddenly, remembering, and sighed deeply as her shoulders sagged.
She called Seven down a few minutes later. There was not much news on the ship. No one understood why the Esoterian gas core had leaked, but then, no one understood the Esoterian gas core.
"Bring Be'nl down here," ordered Janeway to the former Borg drone.
Seven looked at her.
"I know, I know," said Janeway tiredly, "We'll alter the force fields so that she still can't approach the men, but bring her down here. Be'nl specifically, do it," she ordered.
Seven nodded, and left. Fifteen minutes later she returned with Soeur.
Well, thought Janeway to herself, She is the leader. I wouldn't let a member of my staff meet with a foreign Captain under the circumstances. When she's likely to be upset and irrational, perhaps dangerous.
Janeway nodded her acceptance and ordered Seven to return to the Bridge.
The K'Terran moved fluidly and hovered over B'Elanna and Gretchen's medical beds for long moments before she turned to Kathryn.
"Captain Janeway," said the green alien as she approached, "We have heard of your sadness."
"What caused the Esoterian core leak?" asked Janeway, tapping her fingers on her mug from her seat, in no mood for pleasantries, and too exhausted to stand unless she had to.
"We are not sure," said Soeur cheerfully, as if she were a preschool teacher giving comfort over a deflated balloon, "Every diagnostic we have run turns up inconclusive. We believe perhaps it was an error in use."
"You mean B'Elanna did something wrong."
"We do not mean to imply incompetence Captain," said Soeur, still smiling, though Janeway had the idea that she was not actually tone deaf, but was trying to be encouraging, "Lt. Torres is quite a skilled Engineer…..but she is sadly blind at the moment. It seems, most likely she became confused or frustrated, and hit something in the core."
It does seem possible but….
Janeway sagged forward, sighing loudly.
"Do you believe you have a second false sister?" asked Soeur kindly, "We think this seems unlikely….but we are very happy to sound out the Engineers for you if it will improve your level of comfort. Shimai is very gifted in this."
"Do you ever know something is wrong but you don't know what?" said Janeway, staring at her, so tired she did not mind if Soeur knew it.
I'm sure she can hear it in my voice anyway.
"It is not often we are taken by surprise," said Soeur cheerfully, "K'Terrans usually know exactly what is occurring…..our hearing is like a web around us….telling us what is there…or in truth it is like water…...when we lived in the sea it was alive to us, the water surrounding us told us all its secrets."
Janeway stared at her for a moment, as if entranced.
"However…..there was one creature that we could not forsee, that took us by surprise. Not often, so rarely that it was legend, and feared above all things…we do not blame you for fearing it too, even if we believe you are mistaken."
"We shall help you find her if she is here," said Soeur, smiling again, voice light, but somehow intensely unnerving, "We shall help you get your vengeance. And if your daughter dies, no matter what you say, we shall show her no mercy. She who has led a fellow female to her destruction."
"Gretchen wasn't attacked," said Kathryn evenly, so tired her brain automatically corrected the mistake, rather than engaging with Soeur's threat, "She's not…..well…..but she'll recover…..even if we have to keep her in Sickbay until we can get her the help she needs in the Alpha Quadrant. There are…..places for people who need that kind of help there. And whatever help she needs, I'm going to see that she gets it."
"We can hear her breath," said Soeur cheerfully, "We do not believe she is as ill as you suspect, only tired. Shimai would know more when she wakes up, but she has always said Gretchen's mind is exceptionally strong."
Despite the uncertainty of the source, Janeway could not help but feel some relief at that statement.
"But we did not mean Gretchen," said Soeur, "We are aware that Gretchen is the daughter of your body. But you are the priestess of your ship, you have guided it….and are its mother….we hear it in your voice when you speak….and about this one in particular," she gestured at B'Elanna, "There is no doubt….the tones are both mother and sister, and combine in a most pleasing manner."
Janeway nodded, too tired at the moment to deny it.
She held her head in one hand, and the empty, now chilly mug in the other, wishing this day were over.
Soeur smiled at her with her four lips and suddenly…..suddenly she was falling.
Janeway had an intensely awful moment of déjà vu as the chair slid out from under her and she saw Soeur fall to the floor at the same moment she felt her knees connect with it. She looked up suddenly, in terror, but saw that Gretchen and B'Elanna, on the medical beds, had both been cushioned from the impact.
"Red Alert" ordered Janeway in horror, as she recognized the intense shaking of the ship.