Gretchen's stomach clenched as she walked back to her rooms, trying terribly to keep her face clear of her emotions. She felt drained and lonely, but another feeling was being to surface, one she was not at all prepared to deal with.

Long minutes passed as she lingered in her Quarters, trying hopelessly to meditate as she sat on the floor in front of a candle. After an hour of utter failure, she sighed deeply. She knew who she wanted to talk to, but it was no longer an option.

Finally, she stood up on shaking legs, feeling drawn to where he was, even if he was unconscious. She stood frozen for a very long moment, but in the end grabbed her mother's logs, and walked quickly down the corridor to the turbolift.

Sickbay was oddly cold as Gretchen entered, and she was not certain if it was a physical experience, or a psychological one. She had gone to visit her sedated father in Sickbay more than once in her timeline, after the Rift's fungus had destroyed his mind.

It haunted her now as she crossed the threshold, remembering how he had never recovered. How he had pressed his hands around her throat in utter hatred, wishing her dead.

Gretchen did her best to shake the memory as she walked further inside, seeing no trace of the Doctor. When she rounded the corner she saw a different figure. The woman was sitting in a chair between two pods, short brunette hair more disheveled than normal.

B'Elanna, she thought, breathing in sharply, and dropping the datapad in her hand in surprise.

It clattered on the floor and the woman turned her way.

"I'm sorry," said Gretchen, knowing it would be rude not to speak up when B'Elanna couldn't see her, "I didn't know anyone was here, I'll leave."

"You don't have to leave," came B'Elanna's tired, even tone, clearly recognizing her voice, "Chakotay would have my head if I kept his daughter from visiting him."

"How'd you know I was here to visit?"

"If you'd had some business you would've said," said B'Elanna, turning back, "So that means you're here to visit one, or all of them."

B'Elanna started to gesture in a general manner, "This one's Tom, and this one's Chakotay," she said gesturing to the two she was seated between, "Harry's on the other side of Tom, and Tuvok's beyond that. They're all together."

"Like a graveyard," said Gretchen instinctively, without thinking.

"Yeah," said B'Elanna grimly, lowering her head, "It's hard to believe they'll be back."

"You're talking without your oxygen?" added Gretchen, noticing that her tank was missing.

"Yeah," said B'Elanna tiredly, "The Doctor just took it off. I had to agree to sleep in that obnoxious pod every night until I'm healed, but that's all."

There was silence for a few moments as Gretchen pulled out one of Sickbay's uncomfortable chairs. She put it between Tom and Harry, not wanting to leave him out, and trying to give B'Elanna a little space.

To her surprise the woman spoke again, almost as soon as she sat down.

"My Klingon genes," the woman added resentfully, but with exhaustion still clear in her voice, "Mean I'm healing faster than a human….I might even get lucky and get my sight back….of course if I was all Klingon I might've completely healed already…..if my mother hadn't decided she needed to marry outside her species…..and what a man to pick, a loser like him, one who would abandon his wife and daughter without a second glance."

"I'm sorry," said Gretchen, rather blankly, not knowing what to say.

"It's not your fault," said B'Elanna tiredly, "It's his fault….and hers too."

B'Elanna rubbed her forehead violently, seeming to sag in on herself, "My stupid mother. Sure she loved me, but did she ever give a thought to what my life would be like? What it was like?"

"She wanted me to be a true Klingon," B'Elanna continued heatedly, "Which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. She made me half-human, not the other way around. What did she expect?" B'Elanna hissed, staring at Gretchen.

"I don't know," said Gretchen distantly, "I've had that feeling a million times,"

B'Elanna looked at her, blinking. Her voice was gentler than Gretchen expected when she spoke again, "You're all human," said B'Elanna, "What did she have to complain about?"

Gretchen looked away, though B'Elanna could not see her. After a moment she responded slowly, "She wanted a science brain…..and one that was cool and logical…..like she is…..I don't know why it never occurred to her, her child might take after her husband…..if she really wanted a genius….I guess she should've married Tuvok or something," added Gretchen bitterly, "I take after my father….and somehow it was my fault."

B'Elanna looked at her, blinking again, "Is that why you tried to kill her?"

"How did you know about?..."

"That's what you came down here to talk to Chakotay about, right?" said B'Elanna, talking over her, "To admit what you did or something?"

"I…."

"It wasn't your fault," said B'Elanna, "That's what Chakotay would say if he were conscious. That's what I'm telling you. It's not your fault. That damn squid took over both our minds, and killed Rachel….." said B'Elanna, fists tightening as she hissed, "So stop hating yourself and feeling guilty."

B'Elanna sighed, "I doubt Janeway really felt that way about you in your timeline….. she can be irrational, and moody sometimes….."

B'Elanna sighed, very deeply this time, and her shoulders sagged, "I don't think your mother was who she wanted to be," said B'Elanna, rubbing her forehead, "There's a lot of that going around."

There was silence for a long time between them.

"I know I'm not Chakotay," said B'Elanna suddenly, "But I'll do what I can."

"What?"

"You look awful."

"You can't see me."

"You sound awful," hissed B'Elanna temperamentally, "And don't you dare point out that you weren't talking. I can hear you breathing."

"It might be the poison," said Gretchen, "It happened to me too. You shouldn't be getting yourself worked up."

"I'm a Klingon," yelled B'Elanna, "I'm going to be worked up."

Gretchen almost laughed at the harsh expression on B'Elanna's face, but then the bottom fell out of her stomach suddenly.

"I don't know what to do…..I've been hiding my emotions so long I don't even know what they are anymore…..I'm angry at my mother…but I'm afraid of letting loose with that….I don't know what I'll do."

"You already tried to strangle the Captain, what else is there left?"

Gretchen blinked at her, and breathed in sharply.

"What do you want from me?" said B'Elanna heatedly, "I'm a Klingon, I'm frank…..but I don't get freaked out by violence either…so what if you get mad and punch the Captain in the face? You'll probably both be the better for it."

"I'm in no hurry to go back to the Brig."

"I'm willing to bet a mountain of credits you know how to get out of there," answered B'Elanna evenly, "Besides we're so short staffed she can't afford to send you there right now. Almost no matter what you do."

"That's a little…strategic."

"I'm a Maquis," said B'Elanna, "We deal in facts, not nicety Starfleet policies and procedures. Punch her in the face, she won't break, and you'll be out of the Brig in a day, if even that."

"Daddy would never speak to me again," said Gretchen, gulping suddenly, and feeling a stab of pain in her stomach, "He thinks the Captain is perfect."

"Chakotay thinks his daughter is perfect too," said B'Elanna frankly, "He'll get over it."

"You have an answer for everything."

"I'm Klingon," said B'Elanna again, "And I'm sick of hearing you hate yourself."

Gretchen breathed in.

"That's what your voice is saying," said B'Elanna, staring at her, "I hate myself, I hate myself. It's frankly, very irritating,"

B'Elanna frowned, and glared at her.

"And," said B'Elanna, "At least you have one parent who you know will never regret your family…..I'm sure they loved each other, even if it didn't come out the right way all the time…..even if she let you down, you're the product of two people worth respecting….who have really done something with their lives, made good choices, who know about commitment, and family," said B'Elanna, turning quiet and looking off.

"You know about family B'Elanna," said Gretchen suddenly, remembering.

"Do I?" said B'Elanna, questioningly, in a high tone that made Gretchen's heart hurt.

"I don't know why my parents got married," B'Elanna continued, looking away, "It was very rushed. It wasn't me….but I wasn't conceived much later than that….And then my father left because she was a Klingon…..because I was a Klingon…..they didn't know each other very well before the wedding….but you know what he knew about her? That she was a damn Klingon."

B'Elanna rubbed her forehead ridges violently, and hissed, "They both came to think the relationship had been a mistake, and you know what? I agree with them. It was a mistake. At least if they had the decency to go after their own species, it would only be me that knew it was a mistake, and not everyone I ever meet, first thing."

"You're not a mistake B'Elanna," said Gretchen firmly, true conviction in her voice.

"Yeah well," said B'Elanna, looking off, but speaking distinctly, "Back at you."