N/A: A HUGE chapter (biggest one so far) where Ginny makes the worst possible decisions. Remember, she's not perfect.
21 – Draco Dormiens Nunquan Titillandos
The two weeks after their last Occlumency class passed normally and without incident - this, of course, if Draco's sudden and total disappearance from her shop and her house could be considered normal. As a matter of fact, he had not even sent an owl to her.
Ginny, in turn, ignoring the complete lack of information, tried to stick to her routine, even though she was still intrigued by Draco's reaction - and by her own reaction, to be honest with herself.
Therefore, she could only come to the conclusion that he was really upset about seeing Harry – his eternal nemesis - in such an intimate situation and that she, on the other hand, was upset by her brutal exposure to someone cruel and cynical like Draco Malfoy.
That was it.
It had to be.
She firmly decided that if she occupied her head with useful things, there would be no room for craziness. So, she went back to her usual shop-home-shop schedule – occasional breathing in her spare time -, fervently wishing that everything would get back on track so she could finally have some peace of mind.
But this was definitely not a time for wishes fulfillment. Nor for peace of mind.
Ginny would prove this assumption very soon.
The first break in her routine came when she was having breakfast with James, who was playing with his food at her side.
With the coordination of those who just woke up, Ginny carelessly opened the newspaper and prepared herself to read the lying bullshit from that morning while sipping her tea.
Soon the headline on the front page caught her attention.
CELEBRATION AT HOGWARTS CONSOLIDATES NEW REGIME.
A celebration for Ministry of Magic's senior officials, school professors and the parents of some of the most notable students will take place at Hogwarts during the current vacation period. It's a sign that the new government has achieved stability and perpetuated its ideals within of the wizarding society.
The event, that will mark the official union of the Four Houses of Hogwarts under one banner, that of Slytherin, is the symbol of the unification of pure-blood wizards under the same purpose, as well as of the alliance between the Minister and the current Director of Hogwarts, Amycus Carrow.
Ginny stopped reading, dropping the newspaper with a mild nausea and quickly pushed her tea away. She had already seen something like this unification at Hogwarts when she was still a sixth-year student, just before she had to drop out of school. However, making this official was a clear message of the extent of Voldemort's power.
Whenever hope was allowed, something bad happened. She sighed sadly, resting her chin on her hand.
"Everything okay, mum?" James peered at her with his intense green eyes. "Looks like you ate a vomit flavoured bean."
As expected, James' suggestion intensified her morning sickness, but she forced herself to smile, placing her hand gently over his.
"I'm fine, buddy. I'm just a little dizzy because I was reading while eating."
"And you aaalways pick at me when I do that." James barely concealed a chuckle, remembering all the times he trained his newly acquired reading skills during their breakfast.
"Young man, as my mom would claim: do as a I say, not as I do." Ginny pretended to be displeased, only to realise she had just entered a very dangerous ground.
And now is the time James asks you about your mother, she thought darkly. Bloody brilliant, Ginny!
It already had been quite embarrassing the day before, when James had asked why they had not moved in at Malfoy Manor or why Draco had not moved in with them, and if it was natural for married people not to live in the same house.
Flushed and disconcerted, Ginny had simply replied that Draco and her valued their privacies, which obviously had not been very convincing for a smart boy like James. Luckily - and thanks to some tact on her part - the matter had been temporarily forgotten.
However, at that moment, she would not have known what to say if he verbalized the question that was stamped on his face.
To her eternal relief, she was saved by the bell by Della, who suddenly apparated in the dining room, making Ginny spill tea in her robe and James spread cauldron cakes on the carpet the moment he laughed at his mother's face.
"Very, very sorry, Mrs. Malfoy." It was still strange to hear someone call her that way, but Ginny tried to focus on what the elf said. "Della didn't mean to scare you."
To Ginny's delight, the years beside James and her had made Della lose the bad habit of punishing herself whenever she thought she did something wrong, even if that still was her first impulse.
The redhead suspected that this had something to do with the fact that Della was not actually Ginny's elf, only being temporarily released from the family she served.
That stirred something in her subconscious, but Ginny ignored the sensation and concentrated on the elf.
"Don't worry, really." Ginny soothed her. "What happened?"
"An owl arrived with a message for you." Della approached the table, handing the note to Ginny.
"Della!" James jumped out of his chair excitedly. "Are there any more Cauldron Cakes in the kitchen?"
Della bowed before answering. "For the young master, there always is."
The boy grinned from ear to ear, directing a pleading look at Ginny, silently asking permission to go with the elf.
Ginny rolled her eyes and turned to Della. "You spoil rotten this boy." Then she addressed James. "I want you hungry enough to have lunch with me at Diagon Alley!"
And the boy nodded smiling and sped off towards the kitchen, with Della on his heels.
Alone, Ginny had the silence she wanted to read the message.
Is it from Draco?, She thought curiously, hating herself afterwards for the expectation she created.
She had a slight, unspoken disappointment when saw that it was not Draco's careful handwriting.
Dear Ginevra,
I know Draco must have already talked to you about it, but as I saw no movement on your part for the preparations, I thought it would be convenient to remind you.
The celebration that will take place at Hogwarts in a week is extremely important and it's vital that you attend it, show up, show yourself.
Failure to attend may be considered a sign of not being in tune with the Regime and we both know how devoted to the causes of the Ministry you are.
I'll wait for you there.
Yours,
Olívia T.
All I needed now!, Ginny huffed angrily.
She had not heard of this event before that morning, and Draco had not even bothered to warn her about anything after their last Occlumency class either. She cursed under her breath, burning Olivia's note with a sharp flick of her wand.
In fact, Olivia was another problem; why was the Minister for Magic's wife so interested in her? Certainly, being the wife of the Head of the Ministry's most important department played a role in that, but Ginny could have sworn there was something else…
Why did the woman want Ginny to blend into the myriad of idiots that was Wizarding Society? Why was she trying to protect her? Why had she sent that message, with a veiled warning of what might happen if Ginny did not go to the bloody celebration?
Ginny felt a knot in her stomach when she thought Olivia might know something about her true identity…
She shooed the thought away by shaking her head, which was certainly not a good idea because of a new nausea.
Then, as if wanting to punish her, her mind capriciously focused on Draco's image and on the fact he did not want her to go to this celebration. If this were not true, he would have already communicated it to her personally, as he had previously done in other occasions and events where her attendance would be recommended.
He did not seem to mind the fact that her non-attendance could be detrimental to the little act they lived in… And as much as she never admitted it out loud, it made her uncomfortable.
They had a deal, didn't they?
But she was so tired of fighting, arguing, getting into conflict with him... Then Ginny decided, for once, she would not go head-to-head against Malfoy's will. She would not go to that stupid farce at Hogwarts and would let him make the excuse he thought was most convenient for his wife's absence.
Flu, Spattergroit, Dragon Pox, both legs broken by a huge cauldron that fell on top of her, Ginny did not give a flying duck.
She would not go, even with Olivia's subtle warning permeating every line on her message. Or, at least, she was confident she would not go.
Confidence that went down the drain the following night.
The next day, Bill paid her a visit. And her brothers' visits, even if they were from Bill, always involved something more worrying.
They were sitting in her office, drinking tea and immersed in the silence that could only be created by the intimacy among siblings.
"It's always a relief to see that you're okay with my own eyes." Bill broke the quietness, unconsciously turning his cup in his hands.
"Same here." She smiled at her brother's spontaneity. "How is everyone?"
"Hmm… very well, I suppose." He tried to suppress his grin when he said that and Ginny knew there was something more.
"William Arthur Weasley!" Ginny said pointedly. "Just be out with it already!"
"Fleur is pregnant." He beamed. "I'm going to be a dad again!"
This time he did not repress his joy and Ginny thought that when Bill smiled like that, even with his scarred face, he became one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen.
"Really?!"
"Yes, mom is beaming!" Bill chatted excitedly. "Victorie has been quite an outlet for her in the past few years ... Now she'll have another grandchild by her side to divert her attention from all the problems."
Ginny felt the warmth of happiness flood her chest. She walked over to her brother and hugged him for a long time. It was so good to feel him there, happy, and still have news of their family. She could not help but admire Bill's courage and all his efforts to try to lead a life closer to normal, even though the reality was a huge pile of crap full of wars, disputes, deaths, losses.
Of his own free will, he chose to have children, to bring them into this world.
And Ginny once again felt like a coward because of the fear of what the baby she was carrying could mean. Suddenly, she felt like asking Bill to take her with him ... she wanted to have this child in the presence of her mother, her family.
The first time she was in that situation - even though she had run away afterwards-, she had been through the pregnancy with her family beside her, and now she was so... alone.
There was Draco, granted, but she still did not know what to with him – with them.
She dismissed the thought and focused on her brother's joy. "I really want to meet your daughter, Bill. And follow the growth of this new baby too. But since I can't, I'll be with Victorie and this new little lady in my thoughts."
"Lady?" Bill gave his sister a playful half-smile.
"The female side of the family must have an edge, don't you think?" Ginny winked at him. "We're in too much disadvantage."
He laughed and kissed her forehead hugging her tighter. "I miss you so much, Ginny." And they stayed that way, even when the position became too uncomfortable for Ginny, when she moved away slightly to keep her growing belly from showing. "But I'm hopeful that one day we'll all be together again."
Ginny felt tears come to her eyes. Bill had been the only one who understood her completely when she decided to leave, without reservations, without judgment.
"Yes, I pray every day for it."
Then, Bill released her from the embrace, but remained holding her hands. "As much as I like to come and take a look at you with my own eyes, I also came here to ask you one more favor." Ginny nodded encouragingly and Bill went on hesitantly. "Look, even if things weren't planned, you ended up becoming a valuable figure to the Resistance... And I know this may be harmful to you. So, if you can't – or don't want – do this, I completely understand."
Ginny denied with her head. "It's the way I found to help in whatever way I can, isn't it? What do you guys need from me?"
"There will be a celebration at Hogwarts, under the pretext of the union of the Four Houses..." Bill explained and she felt her stomach knot slightly. That request would be synonymous of trouble, for sure. "We need you to go to this celebration and find out as much as you can. If you can get anything out of Malfoy too, it would be great."
"Why?" Ginny frowned. "Did something happen?"
"We have information that the Ministry will make an offensive against Eastern Europe, to expand the domination of You-Know-Who and isolate the Resistance's outbreaks outside England."
"They're planning to attack Charlie…" Ginny did not need much effort to deduce it and when Bill nodded, she felt a little dizzy.
"Exactly. Personally, I don't think their offensive will be made immediately, but the more information we have about the Ministry's organisation and plans, the better it will be to prevent their progress, or at least delay them. Charlie is alone in Romania, concentrating the Resistance outside England and the most we can do to help him is to get information."
Charlie... Her dear brother who had suffered the consequences of being the adult who had always known about the attack planned by Harry and who had done nothing to stop it. Ginny shivered, thinking about how much her brother had suffered because of the consequences of that fateful day, even more than the others.
Then she knew she could not resist any more: she would have to face society, the people she hated and maybe even Voldemort.
And as absurd as it was, she was more apprehensive about the expectation of facing Draco Malfoy. Not for what he might do against the Resistance, but for his possible reactions after their last meeting...
However, none of these fears was greater than the love she felt for her brothers and parents. For them, Ginny would do anything.
And as soon as Bill said goodbye to her amidst hugs and affectionate kisses, Ginny sat down at her office table and removed a quill from the inkwell.
She would answer Olivia's message.
Ginny had only a couple of days to find a dress that suited her, but she smiled satisfied upon seeing her image reflected on the glass surface of one of the doors that gave access to the Hogwarts' Great Hall, where the homogeneity of the wizarding society would be celebrated.
As much as the black highlighted her freckled skin, it suited her pretty well and it was also convenient to disguise her incipient round belly that, with four months into pregnancy, was already beginning to show to the most attentive eyes.
She mentally thanked the universe for not having gained much weight yet; the pregnancy would be an issue she would have to deal more carefully, but not tonight.
Taking advantage of the changes in her body, specifically her breasts that were beginning to swell by her current state, she bet on the neckline of the sleeveless dress, using the old concept that more eyes on the bosom meant less eyes on the belly. Therefore, a good portion of her generous cleavage was revealed by the low-cut bodice of her dress.
In addition, a wider skirt at the waist (which also helped her condition) and elbow-length gloves, as black as the dress and her mood, formed her armor for that night.
She would enter the snake nest.
Literately.
Blowing away a few red strands left out to overflow outside of the elegant bun and falling over her forehead, Ginny entered the Great Hall in search of a potential source of information.
To her relief, she confirmed that Voldemort was not there; he did not seem like the get-together type, even if the celebration was the fruit of his own success. On the other hand, his entire horde of Death Eaters was present, parading around with wide smiles and feigned politeness, making a point of showing off their high positions at the Ministry or at Hogwarts.
Obviously, all of the former teachers – who were now hunted along the Order – were replaced by Death Eaters and Amycus Carrow had definitively taken over as Headmaster of Hogwarts.
The Great Hall was sumptuously decorated, Slytherin's green and silver scattered everywhere, from the small tables and chairs that allowed some privacy for eating or having a conversation, to the High Table where Amycus Carrow sat with the other "professors".
There was food and drink in abundance; Waiters, instead of elves, moved around gracefully, serving and filling the barely empty glasses. There were no musicians, but she could hear ambient music, magically created to guarantee some sound in the Hall and still not disrupt conversations.
It could have been a very pleasant get-together if she did not hate ninety-five percent of the people there and what they represented.
Ginny moved away as far as she could from the most dangerous group, gathered around the High Table at the farthest point from the entrance, and circled freely for a few seconds. She refused to admit that she was looking for Draco, even if it was just to have someone to talk to.
It was certainly because of it.
Olivia was also nowhere to be seen and Ginny became discouraged under curious, assessing eyes. It was the first time she showed up at an event of that magnitude and cursed the Bouncing Ferret of her husband for not being with her at that critical moment.
Okay, Malfoy did not know she was going to that celebration. But that did not change the fact that he was not there so that she could use his image and influence as a lever for the information she had come to collect. Selfish bastard!
She did not have time to pay attention to the small inner voice - which was already getting too chatty in Ginny's opinion - who said that she was the most selfish in that story, because in the next moment she felt a strong hand wrapping her arm and pulling her firmly.
Ginny did a full 180 turn and found herself face to face with a dazzling Blaise Zabini. His very dark and mysterious eyes shone like ebony between long lashes, while his lips distended in a cold smile. He leaned towards her, so that only she could hear him.
"I didn't believe you were going to come, really. But I think you're more daring than you look." Blaise's constant voice came close to her ear and there was a silent laughter in it. "Or you're just plain stupid."
"Hello, Blaise." Ginny said rolling her eyes and looking up to glance at the handsome, dark-skinned man who stood before her, holding a glass of firewhisky in one hand and her arm with the other. "Always an observant and kind gentleman."
She was never tired of being surprised by Zabini's elegance; he was really charming when he wanted to.
Vaguely, she wondered if he had always had that natural grace and elegance in his movements or if he had acquired it over time. Maybe it was all there already and she had been just too much in love with Harry to notice.
She held her breath at the thought.
She had been in love? In the past?
An unpleasant shiver ran down her spine. She could not think of a Ginny Weasley who did not love Harry Potter, even a very dead Harry Potter.
Then another thing rocked her world when she remembered now she was Ginevra Malfoy and that left room for new approaches, no matter how contrary to her wishes they were.
"You're looking rather thoughtful today." Blaise called her back to reality, noticing her expression. "Aren't you glad to see me?"
"I'm happy to see a friendly face, yes." Ginny replied in a playful tone, chasing away the thoughts and giving him a joyful smile. "Even if it's yours. Beggars can't be choosers, can they?"
"You'll never admit you like my presence, will you?" Blaise released her and placed his free hand over his heart, as if he had been hurt by her words.
"I'm sure your ego doesn't need it." Ginny crooned.
Blaise sighed dramatically. "Unlike you, I have no qualms in admitting I like your company, Redhead. And I must confess I like it better tonight. I've never thought that you, the girl with a bad taste in clothes, could look so good."
This time, Blaise took her hand again and spun her slightly around herself in order to check her dress, which moved around her in a swirl of black fabric. Ginny cackled.
"And I didn't even have to ask Snape for advice this time." Ginny joked remembering their banter at Hogwarts.
She did not realise the comment until it was out of her mouth. She regretted it the next moment and her countenance became more serious: that was not a past to be remembered in public places, even more there, among the Death Eaters.
Her reaction did not go unnoticed by Blaise, who promptly changed the subject.
"Then I give you my congratulations, Mrs. Malfoy, for your improved dress code." He eased the conversation and Ginny thanked her friend mentally for being so perceptive about her reactions. "You look absolutely stunning."
Ginny blushed slightly when he leaned over to kiss the back of her hand. When she was going to open her mouth to tell him to stop putting on a play, Blaise was faster.
"I assume that our strategy for your marriage success has started to bear fruit, hasn't it?"
For a desperate moment, Ginny thought he was referring to her pregnancy, but he could not know, could he? Even though Blaise was the greatest wizarding world busybody, he could not have known something that Ginny herself had just found out and had not told anyone yet.
Then she noticed the gleam of absolute malice in his dark eyes and understood that he must be referring to something much more... carnal.
Prick.
Ginny controlled the urge to slap him when she remembered that it had been his idea, but restrained herself in the name of good social behavior.
"Rotten fruits, more likely." Ginny made a face at him. "Why do you ask?"
"Because there's a pair of grey eyes staring at us coldly from one of the tables." Blaise nodded to a spot to Ginny's left. "And its owner doesn't look very satisfied with our interaction."
Ginny looked around discreetly in the direction Blaise had indicated; Draco was sitting with his arms crossed at one of the dozens of tables set up for Ministry guests and he really did not seem to be in a good mood.
"Ah, it's just his normal countenance." Ginny murmured bitterly, turning to face Blaise again. "He's only satisfied when he's planning the next way to torture me."
"Whatever gets you two going, my dear." Blaise smiled splendidly at her. "Who am I to judge?"
"You know you're a twat, right?"
"I do. A twat who values his life very much though." Blaise said solemnly. "That's why I must leave you now. But don't worry, we'll meet again soon." He winked at her and waved insolently at Draco as he finished speaking.
Once again, Ginny looked at where Draco was and their eyes met. She knew she would have to face him sooner or later; then she decided she would prefer it to be sooner.
When she was leaving towards her husband, Blaise squeezed her hand slightly, which she, so focused on Draco, did not even realise he was still holding.
"Be careful here, Redhead. Put a smile on your pretty face, sit where you can and speak well of everyone in public. These are the three basic rules to survive in this world."
She nodded and smiled at her friend, who always seemed to gravitate towards her, in a constant company.
Constant, just like Blaise himself was.
Forgetting Blaise, Ginny approached Draco's table with slow but determined steps, distributing smiles and denying the snacks that were offered by agile waiters: she could not risk getting sick at that moment, about to face the dragon. She stopped beside the table, trying to appear calm.
"Good evening, Draco." She said softly and he just looked at her with his typical ice eyes, which expressed nothing. She went on, trying to be civilized. "You didn't tell me that I shouldn't come, so I accepted Olivia's invitation; she was very kind."
She paused.
Nothing.
He just stared at her and Ginny tried to capture some feeling from him.
His jaw was tight, his eyes darkening slightly, his posture rigid.
Anger.
He was angry.
But still? Ginny sighed tiredly. What the hell had she done this time, other than talking to Blaise?
Maybe it was the problem, wasn't it, Ginny. The snarky small voice said in her head and was promptly ignored by her.
A few weeks ago, she had convinced herself of the need for a minimum of cordiality between them so that they could sustain the farce that protected James and, consequently, Draco himself, as well as the child she was carrying now.
However, it was very difficult to do anything about it, mainly because the stupid ferret was more stubborn than a hippogriff with wounded pride.
"Why are you angry now?" She asked darkly and it would not be an exaggeration to say that her expression was outrightly homicidal.
Probably fearing for his physical well-being, Draco finally, finally, decided it was wise to answer her.
"I'm not angry." He blatantly lied and Ginny felt like kicking his ankle.
"Did you eat a vomit-flavoured bean, then?" Ginny glared at him, using James' favorite theory to explain the reason for sour moods.
"I'm simply trying to decorously die of boredom." Draco murmured exasperatedly. "And you're preventing me from doing so in peace."
"Quite noble death." Ginny scoffed at his dramatic attitude.
"Indeed." Draco agreed politely.
Then, Ginny decided that it was time to get down to business. "I thought maybe we could-"
Draco raised a hand to interrupt her as if she was missing an important point of their interaction.
"Could what? Be civil? Get along? Have tea on Wednesdays?" He mocked her while nursing his glass of firewhisky. "Look at us, Ginevra. We're far beyond this point."
We can't be far this point, you bloody idiot! We'll have a baby to take care of!
For the first time, Ginny felt like telling him about the baby. She needed his help, she liking it or not.
Sighing tiredly, Ginny tried one more time. "That won't do, Draco. I need you."
"You need me?" Draco raised a curious and wary eyebrow at her. "You sure?"
"I need your help, I mean." Ginny stammered, suddenly embarrassed. "Not you, per se."
Draco was still intrigued, measuring her as though looking for signs she was mocking him. "What for?"
"We're going to have-" Ginny blushed, stopping to look for a better word.
Draco waited civilly, the symbol of cool, disinterested calm. He crossed his arms over his chest and drummed his fingers on his forearm, his only sign of liveliness.
She opened and closed her mouth three times before trying again. "We're going to be-"
How the bloody hell could she break news like that?
That certainly was not the place, but maybe if she waited any longer, her courage would vanish like smoke
Draco snorted and the movement misaligned a few of his blond strands. "We…?"
Ginny breathed deeply.
"We-"
I can't do this.
That was when Draco's tolerance snapped.
"There's no 'we'." He scoffed and interrupted her, finally losing his patience. "Since you seem to be incapable of building a coherent argument, I force myself to explain it again: I already told you that you're on your own, Ginevra. Can you understand that or shall I need to be even more explicit?"
Ginny flinched as if he had slapped her. "Stop acting like you can't stand hearing my voice."
"There it is!" He raised the glass as if to toast triumphantly. "I really cannot stand hearing your unbearable voice."
Ginny blushed, finally losing her temper.
She had said she needed him and that was the way he reacted?
The tentativeness in her head gave birth to animosity and it teased her to press Draco buttons and watch him squirm under her feet.
"My voice may be very sweet for whoever I want." She crooned mischievously, unconsciously testing the limits of Draco's self-control.
"Is that so?" Draco's eyes narrowed dangerously at her. "Sweet for whom? Pray tell, Dear Viper."
"It's certainly none of your business." Ginny replied, avoiding at all costs to turn her nose up at him.
Draco shrugged nonchalantly, finally regaining his cold demeanor.
"Today, in particular, I'm not willing to hear your litany. But if you're feeling alone, perhaps Blaise will be happy to keep you… company." He stressed the word and nodded towards the place where she had been talking to Blaise; with the movement some strands of hair fell on his eyes and Ginny felt like pulling them out, one by one. "You two always got along so well."
Ginny straightened up as if she had been shocked, splaying her gloved hands on the table as Draco downed his glass of firewhisky, preparing himself to a war.
The scathing reply - which told Draco to do with himself a lewd act that was usually done as a pair - was on the tip of her tongue and a few curious pairs of eyes were already preparing to see an interesting scene between the infamous Malfoy couple, when Ginny's arm was touched lightly.
Olivia Thicknesse was at her side, exuding kindness through her very green eyes and refinement through her graceful gestures.
Ginny - the clumsy, the feisty, the scandalous one - was definitely an ugly duckling in that world. She took a deep breath to regain control with that thought in her head.
"Ginevra, Draco! How nice to meet you two! Pius and I had a bureaucratic setback, we managed to get here only now." She did not wait for an answer and Ginny took the chance to control her temper even more. "Draco, dear, do you mind if I steal your lovely wife for a few moments?"
"You may steal her forever." He pasted a fake smile on his aristocratic face and Ginny wanted to stick her wand into his eyeball. "I jest, of course. I don't know what would become of me without the love of my life. But with you, Olivia, I don't mind sharing her for a few moments."
"Brilliant! We both need some air and Pius wants to have a couple of words with you." She turned to Ginny winking graciously at her. "Men think about work even at a marvelous party, don't they?"
I'd be greatly surprised to find men who think at all, at parties or not, Ginny thought sourly, but bit her tongue to avoid the rude retort, choosing to smile sweetly at Olivia, then at Draco.
And Olivia dragged her gently to one of the castle's huge terraces, where benches were placed so that people could enjoy the night and have a few moments of privacy.
Ginny did not look back, but if she had, she would certainly have seen Draco Malfoy unwittingly crack the empty firewhisky glass in front of him, venting his anger through magic and averting some more lingering prying eyes.
The two walked in silence to the terrace and stayed that way for a few minutes, feeling the late summer winds begin to get colder. Ginny hugged herself instinctively and Olivia noticed the reaction.
"Everything gets colder when you know we're alone." She said softly.
"Sorry?" Ginny turned towards her, not sure she had understood correctly.
"Nothing, dear. It's just reflections of a witch getting old." Olivia sighed and Ginny thought the statement was absurd, given that Olivia could not even have turned fifty yet.
However, that night, specifically after the conversation with Malfoy, she was not in the mood for games.
"Olivia, I really appreciate the advices you've been giving me and I'm certainly happy with them… But honestly, I'd like to know why you're trying to protect me since the day you laid eyes on me on my shop."
Olivia looked directly at her with piercing green eyes. "I always liked the fact that you were so direct, Ginevra. It was one of the points that made me identify with you." She gave a gentle pat in Ginny's hand, which was leaning on the balcony rail. "Yes, I think identification is the right word. I don't know what reasons led you to marry Draco and get into this world, but since I saw you for the first time I felt you weren't like the others." She pointed with her head at the large door that led to the Hall.
Ginny shivered, from cold and fear. All she did not want was to stand out from the crowd, get attention to herself.
"I'm afraid you're wrong. I'm just like the other wives of important men here." Her voice cracked and she prayed to the Universe that Olivia had not noticed it.
The older witch narrowed her eyes with some degree of amused malice. "You don't need to be afraid, Ginevra. Didn't I just say that I understand you? Precisely because the two of us don't surrender to this corrupt society, even though we are within it. We don't swallow this speech of race supremacy, of homogeneity, of forced peace. The difference is that we adapt. When in Rome, we do as the Romans."
"Olivia, I don't understand… You seem to be so dedicated to the Minister and…" Ginny did not know how to complete the sentence and left it in the air, unfinished.
"I'm dedicated to the Minister, not the Ministry."
Olivia surrendered to a sad silence that lasted a few seconds, where one could only hear the noise of the wind and the celebration in the distance, muffled by the thick doors.
"Since the beginning of the Second Wizarding War my husband has been under the Imperius Curse. He's been living like a talking, walking, eating, gentle zombie for eight years. And I can't abandon him because even if this shell isn't the man I fell in love with, I know he's there somewhere. So I stand by his side, making sure he acts perfectly so You-Know-Who isn't tempted to kill him and put on another puppet in his place." She gave a sad smile.
"I'm so sorry." Ginny was heartbroken to hear all this. She could not even imagine the life of pretenses Olivia lived.
"You have nothing to feel sorry for, my dear." Olivia's eyes watered, but she went on bravely. "At least, I have a glimpse of my husband from time to time. He has even some level of will of his own, but in matters You-Know-Who isn't particularly interested."
Ginny bravely resisted the urge to hug her, but the gesture would not be adequate in a place like this, where there was no room for sympathy.
"You are an admirable woman, Olivia." Ginny smiled trying to comfort her. "I don't know if I would have your courage and perseverance."
"No?" Olivia smiled back at her. "Something tells me you've been through a lot too, my dear. But let's not talk about me anymore, it makes me sad. Let's talk about hope… Hope that one day we'll have our lives back."
Olivia's eyes sparkled even more as the light hit them, but Ginny did not allow herself to have hope like her new friend. That feeling had never done her any good.
"I think hope is something the Ministry doesn't allow us to have." She replied somewhat bitterly.
"Yes. The arms of the Ministry are very large, Ginevra, make no mistake. But they aren't able to reach our hearts. Even with all this prejudiced, petty, small ideal, we continue to persevere, don't we? We and many more people."
"How large are these arms?" Ginny asked curiously. It was her chance to get information and she was there for it, after all.
Olivia seemed to think for a moment before answering. "Hmm, we can say they are quite large. They control the facilities, including the Floo Network, the portkeys, the broom log, the media, as you can see every time you read The Daily Prophet; they have control over the use of magic through your husband-"
"Always Draco, isn't it?" Ginny interrupted bitterly.
"Yes, he's very important to the regime." She paused for Ginny to assimilate the information. "But as crucial as he is, only one man can't maintain a whole system."
"They need structure." Ginny deduced.
"Yes." Olivia agreed, pleased with Ginny reasoning. "Physically, they control the Ministry building itself, which turned out to be the façade for decisions made at the Riddle House, which is the extremely impassable headquarters of You-Know-Who. I've had to go there with Pius a few times and the place gives me the creeps."
Ginny was not aware of the existence of this 'headquarters', built to house Voldemort and the meetings with his minions. She treasured the information.
"Is he the one who makes all the decisions?"
"He focuses on taking strategic decisions regarding the war and mainly on fighting the Resistance. Eliminating them seems to be his personal goal, almost a fixation. And as the years go by, the more impatient he becomes towards the rebels." Olivia said, looking thoughtful. "In that sense, Draco is the one who carries out these orders in the way he finds most convenient, I think. Pius ends up taking care of economic aspects, mainly. The others Ministry's departments are divided among the Death Eaters. We can't say that they aren't organised..."
Ginny whistled softly, thinking aloud. "And on top of that, they control the prisons and have the authority to arrest whoever they want... Those who come from Muggle-born records, for example." She clenched her fists angrily. It was so…inhuman.
"Yes, there is the blood status that delimits who is pure enough to have a normal life. You yourself had to go through your genealogy consultation to prove your pure-blood came from Scotland, didn't you?"
Upon hearing the other woman's words, Ginny had to do her best not to blush at the lie of her origins and just nodded.
"And speaking about the prisons." Olivia remained focused, missing Ginny's sudden shyness. "Azkaban, as you may know, is where all the undesirables are sent, so the Dementors can take care of them. More than that sometimes." Ginny shivered and Olivia went on "And Glastonbury prison, which is for pure-bloods who don't follow the regime to the letter. Usually because of non-payment of taxes, non-rendering of honors - that's why I asked you to come, by the way - or because of duels and other minor offenses."
Ginny chose not to say that she was grateful for her friend's explanation, but that she had already been to Glastonbury and did not intend to return.
"I never understood why duels are so strictly prohibited among the pure-bloods." She questioned and Olivia chuckled.
"Pure-blood should never be spilled unnecessarily, according to the You-Know-Who's twisted logic. However, when it comes to duels involving Half-bloods or Muggle-borns, even the Unforgivable Curses are permitted."
Ginny felt the anger building inside her. "What I most wish for is to see the end of it all, Olivia. I swear if I could-"
The older witch put her hand on Ginny's arm, who let her sentence die. "One step at a time, dear. The first one is to go into that Hall with our chins held high. I'll play the role of the perfect wife of a puppet Minister and you'll smile beautifully at everyone, swallowing all the offenses you feel like telling Draco." Olivia smiled wickedly at her.
Thinking one more time about her husband, Ginny was reticent – not sure why – to know Olivia's opinion of him.
"Olivia, about him, I-"
"Draco is a man who is walking over a dangerous tightrope, Ginevra. Not even he knows which side he is going to choose, and, in truth, he just wants to choose his own side." She said thoughtfully, interrupting Ginny, "He's a poor tormented soul, in fact, but that doesn't mean he's not a good young man, as I told you before."
"He's an insensitive ice rock, that is." Ginny thought aloud, crossing her arms belligerently.
Olivia looked at her carefully before answering. "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not, dear. And often times we call a man cold when he's only sad."
And making Ginny uncomfortable with that thought, Olivia patted Ginny's hand kindly and went back to the Great Hall, where she would masterfully play the role of perfect wife, supporter of a regime that was detestable to her.
And Ginny should follow her lead in the next few years.
Olivia left her on the balcony to fulfill her role as First Lady and wander around the Great Hall like a piece of decor: adorable and fully inserted; Ginny truly envied her for possessing so much cold blood and self-control.
In a few minutes, she was supposed to follow her newest friend and become Ginevra Malfoy - devoted wife, powerful merchant and ally of the regime. However, for now, she just wanted to be alone and away from anything that could harm her.
She was truly exhausted...
During her days, she went through her job with vigor like an unstoppable force, forgetting all her problems. But at nights, like in that moment, the awareness crept in and she thought she was always on the edge of a precipice and, at the bottom of it, lurked the War, the suffering it brought. In her worst nightmares, she fell and fell into it.
Ginny sighed exasperatedly when felt a presence behind her, bringing with it a too familiar scent.
"I'm not in the mood, Malfoy." Ginny threw a dirty look over her shoulder at the figure standing in the shadows. "I don't want to fight you again."
"I didn't come here to fight." Draco said neutrally at her back.
"Then stop lurking in the shadows like a bloody vampire." Ginny chided turning to look ahead one more time. "Though you sure have a lot in common with them."
"I certainly don't!" Draco sneered at the word, clearly offended by the comparison.
Ginny's mood improved considerably as she saw Draco straighten up. How long had it been since someone dared make fun of him?
Or rather, how long had it been since someone had been true to him?
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling at her pioneering.
"Of course you do." Ginny measured him mischievously. "Both you and vampires suck."
"How exquisite your sense of humor is." Draco rolled his eyes at her, implying exactly the opposite. Nonetheless, he walked towards her. "Now that you are in a better mood, I can leave the shadows, as you kindly pointed. I'm safe since the only thing you can use to cause harm is your sharp tongue."
He stopped beside her and the two watched the landscape in front of them for a few seconds.
Then, Ginny tapped the outside of her thigh where her wand was nestled. "One can always count on their wand for this purpose."
Draco half-smile was something to reckon. "Wands, Dear Viper, I can handle perfectly well, thank you very much."
Ginny snorted. "That's not quite what I remember from our school time." Speaking about Hogwarts helped to spoil the rare friendly atmosphere between them a bit and she looked thoughtfully at the school grounds. "Merlin, I hadn't realized how much this place has been part of my history, of who I am. It brings me so many good memories but, at the same time, so many horrible ones."
Draco remained silent for a few moments and Ginny turned to get a better look at him, looking away from the castle grounds.
His fitted black coat covered him remarkably straight. His blond hair seemed almost white in the moon light. He was solemn and pale like winter itself.
Entirely capable of freezing her.
But not in that moment when they were sharing that precious moment of nostalgia.
"Life was challenging back then, that's for sure." He conceded noncommittally, then sighed resignedly. "But we cannot change it, can we? The future is what counts now."
A future Ginny did not want to be a part of.
A future Draco was helping to shape.
The cold slap of reality put an end to the reminiscences of the past.
"You should be inside, mingling with your equals." Ginny said objectively. She was not there to share bittersweet memories with Draco Malfoy, of all people.
"I should, shouldn't I?" Draco agreed enigmatically. "But I let you have your away once and be alone at a ball in this very castle, many years ago. It doesn't seem like a good omen to do that again."
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked surprised for him to bring up that specific subject.
"Nothing of consequence." Draco hedged her question and nodded in direction of the Great Hall. "I believe you wanted to tell me something back there."
"And you interrupted me like a real prick." Ginny crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Do forgive me if I couldn't indulge you in your lovely stammering contest." The side of his mouth quirked up in a minimum smile and Ginny had to refrain a smile of her own. "I'm all ears now."
The smile died in Ginny's mouth.
As she had suspected, all irrational courage had deserted her. Which could even be considered a good sign, given that a celebration at Hogwarts full of Death Eaters might not be the place that Draco would consider ideal to receive the news that he would father the son of a rebel, half-sibling of Harry Potter's son.
"Nothing of consequence." It was her turn to hedge and Draco arched a fair eyebrow at her.
Always that game of words between them. One of them would say something, the other would use the same phrase with a new context, and suddenly they would be both at loss.
Before he could ask anything else, she added playfully. "But you didn't come all the way here for curiosity about my musings, did you? Interest in other human beings is sooo below you, Draco Malfoy."
"You would be surprised at how much interest in others - and gossip - rules this world." Draco drawled, still amused. "But yes, I came just so people will not say my wife is alone and unprotected."
"Oh, be careful!" Ginny joked good-naturedly. "One might think you care about my image."
Draco snorted at her in a very un-Malfoy way.
"Obviously I care. For the effect it might have on my own." He explained and turned to lean on the balustrade and face her. "You must not represent an easy target for dangerous men."
"Why don't you tell these dangerous men to stay away from me?" Ginny countered. "It'd be a lot easier."
At least for me.
"Oh, but I just did. I had to threaten Goyle to get away from you a few days ago." Draco said offhandedly like it was a small gesture of chivalry. "And drive away the curious ones who might want to know you... more deeply."
"Thank you, I guess?" Ginny did not know if she should appreciate the gesture or not, but Draco ignored her ambivalence. "Do you think it'll work?"
Draco shrugged jocosely. "The way you look tonight, they might well forget all about their self-preservation."
Puzzled, Ginny looked down at her dress. "What is wrong with how I look?"
His gaze wander over her bare throat, her cleavage, and something different from cold flashed in his eyes.
"Don't try to play coy." Draco sneered at her and suddenly the somewhat friendly atmosphere between them was broken and replaced by something much more tense. "Everything is wrong."
Ginny straightened up. She was more and more astonished at how he could get her mad with just one word.
"I'm not going to stand here listening to you insult me one more time. Good night, Draco."
Ginny lifted her chin and tried to pass by him towards the Great Hall, but Draco was faster. He caught her wrist before she could leave.
The surprise of the gesture made Ginny stumble and Draco pulled her to keep her balance, landing his other hand on her arm.
If he intends to intimidate me with his body, he is very much mistaken.
She had six older bigger brothers and body intimidations roused a strong feeling in her: rebellion.
He did not step back or let her go. They stood too close, he nearly a head taller than her, and looking at his expression, Ginny suddenly understood – he was not trying to intimidate her.
He was pleading with her. He just did not know how to use the right words for it.
He inhaled deeply.
"Ginevra, don't." He said and Ginny almost gasped at his longing tone. "That's not what I meant. There's nothing wrong with how you are dressed. In fact, you look… proper."
"Proper…" Ginny murmured softly as to not push him away. "For the life of me, I can't understand you, Draco. And it's really driving me crazy."
"There's something wrong with me." Draco looked away from her as if he was embarrassed and aimed for a spot above her head. "How embarrassingly I react to it."
Ginny held her breath, afraid that any sharper movement would break that moment of vulnerability.
Was he somehow that affected by her?
When she found herself, Ginny had already raised her free hand and Draco unconsciously leaned into her touch.
His eyes his eyes were an intoxicating amalgam of silver and blue and the more deeply Ginny stared at them, the giddy she felt. She noticed she had leaned as well, close enough to feel his breath brush softly over her cheek.
He ever so slightly slid the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip and Ginny was not proud of the tiny noise that escaped her.
Her head dipped and she was sure the only thing she wished in the world was to feel his mouth against hers.
When Ginny moaned softly, Draco pulled her flush against him, their foreheads touched and their breaths mingled, condensing in the chill of the night. In a subtle movement, his thigh was between her legs, right where she wanted it.
"What the fuck are you doing to me?" Draco whispered, seeming at loss.
Me? Ginny almost laughed out loud. Doing to him?
It was the other way around.
His clear eyes were on her lips now and Ginny knew they were going to kiss again.
It was what she wanted most and, at the same time, what she should avoid at all costs. A kiss – especially a kiss between them, as she had already experienced – involved much more than a touch of lips, of tongues.
It was like they could not keep their hands off each other.
If he touched her belly - which was a very possible outcome if they started to get more... intimate- it would be the end of it.
He released her wrist and wrapped his long fingers around the back of her head, angling her face just the way he favoured.
And the fact Ginny was getting used to it was too alarming.
"May I?" His drawled voice was husky and Ginny felt heat rising through her entire body at that tone.
One could always count on a posh boy to be gentleman enough to ask permission to kiss a girl.
Ginny considered that no other man had asked that before kissing her.
Yes, you may!
Despite the fact that he should not.
Neither should she.
"Draco... I can't." Ginny muttered still with her forehead pressed against his. "We can't."
"We can't...?" It was a statement as well as a question, and it left Ginny breathless and disoriented.
Ginny shook her head, unable to speak.
She needed to find a friendly face to keep her from doing something crazy, namely making a habit of kissing Draco whenever she got the chance.
Olivia could not help her, Ginny had already consumed too much of her friend's time and the Minister's wife had her own demons to fight that night.
But there was someone else who might be able to help her stay away from Draco.
"Blaise..." Ginny muttered without thinking.
Yes, Blaise could help her leave Hogwarts, after all, she already had all the information she needed from that celebration.
"Blaise?" Draco pulled away to get a better look at her, narrowing his eyes. "What about him?"
"What?" Ginny did not even realise what she had said to get him so… wary suddenly. She shook her head again to clear her thoughts. "I'm sorry. I need to go."
She did not look at his mouth again because she knew it would be her undoing.
She wanted to kiss him so badly. And her lips were tingling viciously because she had not. She turned and marched from the balcony, her head held high, not knowing if she was more perplexed with herself or with him for making her feel so weak.
Draco watched her go, breathing hard, painfully aware that he would need a few minutes before going back inside without scandalize the entire society with his state.
But, above all, he was hurt.
And hurting always meant anger to him.
On spur of moment, the words from the Dark Lord, his aunt, his colleagues, even from his bloody mother, came to his mind.
You're not good enough, Draco.
He had never been good enough for her. For Ginny Weasley.
Chuckling humorlessly – darkly – at his feeble self, Draco moved his wrist over his mouth, as if with the gesture he could chase away the desperate need he felt to kiss her until she forgot everything wrong between them. Until she forgot the fucking Scarhead.
And now, besides a bloody ghost in the middle of that complicated relationship of theirs, there was someone else - none other than his best friend – and Draco did not know what to do with it.
What to do with them.
You're not good enough, Draco.
Yes, he was hurt.
And if Ginevra would insist on hurting him on purpose – really, his best friend, his brother, of all people? She fucking knew what Zabini meant to him -, Draco would give her the same courtesy.
This time, with a bitter gleam of rejection in his eyes, he did not stop her from leaving.
Ginny walked almost blindly, turning away from the people waving at her and struggling to erase the image of Draco looking at her in such a… vulnerable way.
After failing to find Blaise, she resigned herself to wander for a while longer, walking aimlessly around the Hall, her eyes averting any trace of a platinum blond head.
She refused to think about Draco. Nothing good would come out of it.
And Ginny had to focus on good things. For example, she had already gotten pieces of valuable information; even though she had not heard anything specific about the attack in Eastern Europe, at least now she had a nice grasp of the current regime's political structure.
She passed by people, greeting, smiling and listening to disperse comments in the air. "Ah, we have finally purged all the evil from our society…", "It's great to know that our children will no longer be obliged to attend school with Half-Bloods...", "It only takes one more step for the Lord to crush any obstacle...".
Ginny sighed, suddenly tired of that environment. She let her feet guide her out of the sumptuously decorated Great Hall, oblivious to the stares she received, enjoying the silence of the castle. A silence she had seen back in her day… The school year's end certainly left the castle deader, but the current atmosphere of political instability and intolerance played a role in that too.
Reaching the castle's Entrance Hall, she passed through the large oak doors towards outside, deeply breathing the night air…
The moon was big and beautiful, as it always used to be in that part of Scotland; it seemed to offer an invitation for a walk, despite the cold.
Ginny thought about walking towards the greenhouses and the garden, but changed her mind, heading towards the Quidditch pitch instead; she had had a lot of fun times there and sometimes had imagined herself as a professional Quidditch player, enchanting crowds.
All lost because of that bloody war...
She stopped, invaded by a distant melancholy... How long had she not seen Hogwarts? The damp air smelling of old trees and freshly cut grass swept through her senses, taking her back to the moments lived in her six years at school.
She had to fight hard against the sadness that washed her when she remembered it was in that place she had spent romantic afternoons with Harry, talked about everything and nothing with Luna, had been helped by Hermione under an apple tree on sunny mornings... And now everything there was half-dead, half-empty.
She missed her friends that were gone so much, Colin, Neville, Tonks ... And Fred, especially Fred; her dear brother who had so often wander around with George and her, chatting, laughing at Ron, flying with her... her heart felt heavy and she shook her head in order to dismiss the thought.
Ginny forced herself to walk a little faster to fight the sudden cold plaguing her body and soul; when she came to her senses, she was already close to the huge lake, which had been such a beautiful sight in her time. Now, an intense fog covered the entire surface of the water, creating a sorrowful atmosphere.
And that bad feeling returned in full force. The thought of Neville dead, Fred dead, Harry dead, the separation from her family, all of this plagued her with extraordinary force. She wanted to think of good things, but she just could not. A cold dominated her entire body, twisting her internal organs, causing despair. All the hope in the world had died at that moment.
And, suddenly, Ginny understood.
Dementors.
She cursed her stupidity. It was so natural that Hogwarts, under Voldemort's control, would be infested with Dementors!
Idiot, idiot!, she thought starting to get desperate. There were supposed to be guards in order to protect the people at the celebration with their Patronuses, but she had left the castle. Foolishly, she had left the security perimeter.
She tried to think about James, her mother, about flying! She tried to think of all the good memories she had, but it was to no avail.
And then she saw them, scary, disgusting, horrifying.
Ginny found herself surrounded by hooded shadows that descended from the sky in sync, in a frightening, steady rhythm. There were at least four of them and Ginny felt despair overtake her.
Her breathing was ragged, quick, but even then she managed to see a gap between the ten-foot-long shadows and ran as fast as she could using those bloody heels.
Ginny ran with a speed bordering on the impossible, because she was running not only for her life, but for the life of her baby, still growing inside her.
She did not dare look back, but knew they were on her trail, sliding through the air, playing with her, increasing her fear.
"No!" She screamed with all her strength, trying to push them away with her voice, even though she knew it was useless.
She needed to summon her Patronus, she had always been good at it, hadn't she? Ginny gasped, stopping abruptly and realising she was surrounded and could only think of Neville, Fred and Harry.
Thinking of despair.
Whom did she want to fool? From the beginning she knew she could not conjure her Patronus because she was afraid.
Afraid of the form her Patronus might have taken. Had Tonks' Patronus not changed because of her love for Lupin? Had not Snape's changed out of love for Harry's mother? What if her showy horse had turned into Harry Potter's trademark stag? She squinted her eyes so she would not see, would not cry.
She was so afraid James would somehow be linked to Harry that her first move had been to run, because she did not want anyone to get a chance to see her Patronus.
How could one explain that Ginevra of Woodcroft, now Ginevra Malfoy, a prosperous pure-blood merchant and wife of the second in command at the Ministry, had the same Patronus as Harry Potter?
If only I could be sure that it hadn't changed..., she thought while trying to find a way back to the castle.
Already she could see the decaying grey and ruined hands approaching; she felt a nausea that left her off balance for a moment. She pulled away from the disgusting hands as far as she could and wished from the bottom of her heart that she did not die childishly like that.
Tears came to her eyes when she thought of James…
Certainly, Malfoy would guarantee James' safety - because his own safety depended on it - but who would care and love her son? Draco could not, or rather, he would not...
Draco… He could not help her now either, because it was common knowledge that Draco Malfoy had never known how to conjure a Patronus. Like most Death Eaters, he did not have memories and feelings good enough to perform the spell...
Ginny felt bitter, faced with the cynicism of the situation: she herself was not being able to conjure her own. Now, even if she wanted to, she would not be able to do it considering the number of depressing feelings filling her.
The Dementors moved closer and she could already see their eyeless faces, the terrible gaping orifice, full of rotten teeth, waiting to suck her soul… And they approached with a slowness that was almost torture.
She closed her eyes.
Somehow, thinking about Draco had helped with the acceptance of the moment; it had not worked with the others she had tried - with James, with Harry, her parents, brothers and friends - because Draco's memory, unlike everyone else, did not bring her happy memories that could be stolen by the Dementors.
His memory, though, brought her the comfort of a familiar face, close to her, that was on her side to comfort her. Memories the creatures could not access.
"I hope you can be happy one day, Draco." Ginny murmured to herself, comforted by the memory of him. She hugged her midsection as if she could protect their baby from the Dementors, in a last gesture to shield it. "And take care of James for me."
And so, with the image of Draco tattooed on her head, surrounded by the creatures of darkness, hugging herself tightly to refrain the cold and trying to contain the tears that insisted on falling from her eyes, Ginny prepared to receive the Dementor's Kiss,
It was her end.
N/A: The phrase Olivia uses to refer to Draco comes from an American poet called Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, and I found it extremely adequate to describe the context and Draco himself.
Please, don't be mad at me because of the cliffhanger and do tell me what you think of the chapter.
I promise to try to write faster now, haha
For those who are commenting, thank you for everything! It's very kind and makes my days truly special.