Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
BGM: Aboard the Sweet Stuff (Wario Land: Shake It)
"Ah, you guys came back… and brought back tons of treasure." Syrup said. "Seriously, how did you even bring it back?"
"Simple." Xena said. "Me and my dark twin are psychics, so we can teleport anything back to the ship… and our friends if we so desire."
"Dark twin…?" Syrup raised an eyebrow. "I don't see it."
Xena chuckled, closing her eyes as she switched with Dark Xena. "Sup?"
"Oh!" Syrup said in surprise.
"Whoa!" Merfle exclaimed.
"Name's Dark Xena, how you doing?" She said with a wave.
"Huh, different appearance… different voice… fascinating!" She said.
"Yeah, it's an awesome story. We can tell you on the way to the next continent."
"Oh good, I love stories." Syrup said as the ship took off for the next continent while Dark Xena switched over to Xena, then she walked over to Syrup and began explaining her whole story.
"Those two are so in sync, it's crazy." Jade said and then giggled. "Just what we love about those two."
"Damn straight." Iris nodded.
Umber let out a soft sigh. "Yeah… those two are great." He said, a small blush forming on his face.
"Eh, I still think it's creepy." Wario said. "Two girls in one body, yet the other girl was completely homicidal. How are you boneheads okay with this?"
"Everyone has a chance to reform, Dark Xena is the same way… something you two boneheads don't really get." Nyx said, giving them a glare.
"We're not evil." Waluigi told her. "We're greedy troublemakers! Huge difference!"
"…Yeah, sure, whatever." Nyx rolled her eyes and walked off. "If you need me, I'll be in the training room… assuming there is one."
"Yeah, there is. Knock yourself out." Syrup said before turning back to resume listening to Xena's story.
"…Wait a minute, what?" Jen asked, looking at Nyx in surprise. "Oh dear lord… she's that consumed in anger that she just flat out hypocrisized herself…"
"Mmm…" Anthony closed his eyes. "I know what it's like being consumed in that much hatred… yet I don't think I was this bad with Jacques."
"Right. I remember," The vigilante nodded. "Whenever I was pursuing you, after ya beat me enough times all I noticed is that you never went out of your way to attack others. All you did was steal."
"It's part of why I was dubbed 'The Gentleman Thief' by Remnant's people," Anthony explained. "Despite the fact that I hated SDC, I didn't want to involve innocents in my actions. I only incapacitated guards if I absolutely had to. It's not my style."
"I recognize that now..." Jen tipped her hat in a bit of embarrassment.
"Don't feel embarrassed, Jennifer. You were duped just like the rest of them," Anthony assured. At least...almost the rest of them. He added to himself.
"Hmph… so you guys are just greedy troublemakers?" Jade raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, okay, that explains all the Bob-ombs you guys carry in your pockets."
"Not to mention you guys literally shot a Bullet Bill at Mario during a baseball game." Iris pointed out. "Seriously, Mario, DK and Yang were having a good time batting, or in DK's case, punching Bob-ombs into the sky and then you decided to… throw in a Bullet Bill in there because why the hell not?"
"Let's not forget the jetpack with arms you had to throw lethal speedy dodgeballs during a sports mix event." Sarge added.
"And-"
"Alright, alright!" Wario exclaimed. "We get it, no need to rub it in. We do kinda go a little overboard with our gadgets."
"A little?" Jade raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, a whole lot!" Waluigi rolled his eyes.
Later… at the second continent…
"Here we are! The Wiggly Wilds!" Merfle said.
"WOOOOO! Let's go! We got more treasure to find!" A now perkier Mona exclaimed.
"Dang, she perked up real fast…" Jade said.
"Thank you, modern medicine!" Chloe beamed.
"I will admit, that's quite the tale you two had together." Syrup said and then nodded. "Truly, you two are one of a kind." She smiled and then patted Xena on the shoulder. "An epic tale that started in misery but you were reborn into a new person the moment you two reconciled. It's truly beautiful."
Xena smiled. "We know."
"Now you two go out and have some fun with the others. I'll be here holding down the fort with Merfle."
"You got it!" Xena grinned as she levitated toward the others while Nyx rejoined them as they walked off together.
"Being in sync with your dark side…" Syrup mused. "Mmm, somehow I wish I had a dark twin that shared my body."
"Huh? Are you crazy?"
"Just a little bit." Syrup chuckled.
End BGM
World 2-1 - Just Plains - Acrobatic Plains Is More Like It
BGM: Just Plains (Wario Land: Shake It!)
"Wow, this place is really cool!" Mona said with her eyes sparkling.
"Just try not to eat anything moldy or anything." Camrin said.
"Pffft, please… it was just some bad cheese. I'm sure the next food item I see in a treasure chest, it'll be ten times better!" Mona said, which earned a slap upside the head from Camrin. "Ooof! …Alright, alright, I'll restrain myself."
"That's bett-"
"No promises though~!"
Camrin sweatdropped. "I was afraid of that."
"Are we in some kind of savannah… because that's what I'm getting with a place like this." Sarge said.
"Maybe? I dunno… it's pretty though." Nyx responded as they walked ahead, only to see handlebars floating in midair. "Uh… what's this?"
"Handlebars, by the looks of it." Zoey said as Wario had an idea and jumped on it, where he started to spin around and then pole vault off of it, landing on a cliffside with a ten point landing.
"Ta-daaaaah!"
"…I'm gonna channel Weiss here and go HOW?" Nyx said in surprise.
"A big fat guy is surprisingly athletic… kind of reminds me of someone else we know." Jade said with a chuckle.
"Stand aside, people… let me show you how it's done." Chloe said, rubbing her hands and then proceeding to vault off into another vault, doing graceful flips compared to Wario as she continued to acrobatically flip over some mines and landed on another cliffside containing a treasure chest.
"Whoa…" Xena said in awe.
"What, you thought I was just some nurse?" Chloe giggled. "My brother and my surrogate mother aren't the only acrobats in this family!"
"Aww…" Zoey smiled hearing that.
"Heh… I was beginning to wonder when she'd show herself off." Camrin chuckled.
Chloe turned her head. "Now then, let's see what we have here…" She said, opening up a treasure chest… to pull out a wodden pacifier. "Uh… huh… okaaaay…?"
Baobab Wood Pacifier: Pacifier fashioned from the wood of a rare tree. Preferred by 9 out of 10 babies.
"Hey, do we know anyone who's pregnant or about to have a baby?" She called out.
"Not that we know of!" Iris called back.
"Hmm… I'll keep this just in case." Chloe said, backflipping off the cliff and landing gracefully.
"Show off." Wario mumbled to himself as the others made their way toward Wario as they walked through the cave where they saw more handle bars where they vaulted off of them, with Mona crushing a few Banderninos that were watching them gracefully flip around.
"Man… I didn't think I was so acrobatic." Jade said.
"Well, we're huntresses… comes with the territory." Iris said with a chuckle as walked off where Wario would notice a metal box where he destroyed it with a punch and crawled through, catching the attention of Xena and Waluigi as they crawled under where they saw a treasure chest.
"Oooh yeah!" The Wario Bros exclaimed as they opened up the treasure chest… and pulled out a Piggy Bank.
"A piggy bank!" Waluigi exclaimed.
"We're rich!" Wario exclaimed and then pulled out a sledgehammer. "Stand back!" He said and then swung it down to shatter the poor piggy bank… and they saw nothing when he shattered it. "Wah?!"
"Waaaaaah?! Where's the treasure?!" Waluigi wondered.
Empty Piggy Bank: Worthless now, but fill it with coins and BAM! Instant treasure!
"I think you were supposed to fill it with coins first." Xena said.
"Hmph! What a waste." Wario said, putting it away as the bros walked off, but Xena knelt down.
"I don't think it's a waste, do you?"
"Nope, not at all."
Xena smiled, telekinetically piecing the piggy bank back together and then sealing the cracks with pyrokinesis. "There… this ought to make some little kid happy." She said gently.
"Aww! How adorable."
"Don't lie, you had the same thought." Xena said, putting it away.
"You know me so well, sister."
"Oh! Oh! What kind of treasure do we have in this chest!" Mona exclaimed after a few more rounds of vaulting as she opened it up. "Ooooh!" Her eyes sparkled and pulled out a massive wildebeest. "Ta-daaaaah!"
"A stuffed wildebeest?!" Sarge said in surprise.
"Yup! Look at this fierce guy? Doesn't he look cute?"
Stuffed Wildebeest: How does it manage to look both cute AND threatening?
"We can totally gift this to our little Spheal at home! He'd have a new playmate!"
"I dunno, I think the little guy will be terrified…" Camrin said.
"Oh, he'll get used to it." Anthony said with Jen agreeing with a nod, then they pole vaulted a little more until they reached the end and Wario broke the Merfle out of its prison.
"Thank you!" The Merfle smiled as Xena teleported him to safety at the Sweet Stuff, then they spotted a Warp Pipe and then they jumped in.
End BGM
The moment they popped out of the Warp Pipe, they found themselves at a lake… along with a submarine. "Wow!" Wario exclaimed. "…Eh… it could use a better color." He said, pulling out two paint cans and two paintbrushes. "Here ya go." He said, handing it to Waluigi as they rushed over to the submarine as they started painting it.
"I think the grey color looks fine as is." Nyx said.
"…Well… I've never really seen a yellow and purple submarine before." Jade said. "Looks coo-…aaaand they drew a mustache on it." She sweatdropped.
"Ta-daaaaah! I call it the Subwarine!" Wario said proudly.
"Pretty neat, eh?" Waluigi grinned.
"…You just changed the M to a W…" Nyx said.
"It's ours now! W is way cooler than M!" Wario boasted.
"Ahem!" Mona said, folding her arms and tapping her foot.
"…Certain Ms."
"Nice save." Mona said.
"Now then, welcome aboard to the Subwarine!" Waluigi said, opening the hatch as they hopped inside while Wario took the controls.
"Do you even know how to control a submarine?" Xena asked.
"Of course! If I can drive a bike and a car, how bad can a submarine be? It'll be just like Mario Kart!" Wario said with Waluigi agreeing… while everyone else paled.
"We're doomed…" Dark Xena groaned inside of Xena.
"I think I'll go and take the scenic route…" Nyx said, but felt themselves move. "…Or not."
World 2-2 - Wavy Waters - Submarining 101
BGM: Wavy Waters (Wario Land: Shake It!)
"Alright… now let's see here… ah, this makes us go forward." Wario said as the Subwarine started moving forward as he started testing out the controls. "Alright, I got it all figured out."
The moment they started sailing through the waters, they immediately picked up on several enemies consisting of Jellopus, Plungers, and Tub-Subs. "Look alive, we got enemies abound!" Waluigi exclaimed.
"Do we have any torpedoes?" Sarge asked.
"According to this… we have an infinite number of 'em!" Waluigi said… and then Sarge pushed him out of the way. "Waaaah!"
"Stand aside, I'm gonna shoot these bastards out of the ocean!" He said and started rapid firing, destroying everything in their way. "Yeeehaaaw! You are getting Sarged by yours truly!"
"We got a treasure chest up ahead!" Waluigi exclaimed as Wario parked the Subwarine above the chest and a claw came out and grabbed it, then reeled it in as Jade and Anthony opened the chest to reveal… sandals.
"Sandals?" Iris raised an eyebrow.
"Wait… do they smell… peachy?" Zoey wondered as they got a whiff of it.
"…I recognize that perfume anywhere." Nyx said as she pulled out the sandals. "They're Peach's sandals!"
Peach Sandals - Sandals previously worn by a princess. They smell good. Suspiciously good.
"First Wario's Dustcloth and now… this? That's peculiar…" Camrin quietly said.
"I'm sure it's nothing… it could just be a coincidence." Mona said as the Subwarine continued on.
"Taste my missile hell! Mwahahahaha!" Sarge cackled evilly, destroying everything in sight. "You are all underwater, therefore that makes you Blue! Suck it Blues! …Except for Caboose because he's a nice guy!"
"…I think he's having way too much fun." Umber sweatdropped.
"Yuuuup." The others agreed as they stopped for another treasure chest and when they pulled it up, Xena and Umber would open it up to reveal… a Turtleskin Hat.
"Huh… looks cute." Xena said, tilting her head. "Not sure how I feel about this."
"It's hard headed… maybe give it to Mona in case she tries something that would break her head open?"
"Probably a good idea." Xena nodded, putting it on Mona.
Turtleskin Hat - This attractive and durable hat offers complete protection from falling acorns.
"Hmm?" Mona would look at a window, seeing her reflection. "Oooh, I look stylish~!" She said, doing a pose. "Oh yeah, I'm keeping this!" She beamed.
"I don't think it'll do much to protect her head." Chloe said. "Knowing how she likes to dive into things fist first."
"Good point." Xena and Umber said in unison with a shrug as the Subwarine continued to terrorize everything in its path thanks to Sarge rapid firing everything in sight as not even some Grunchins were safe from his reign of terror as they found the last treasure chest a little ways off and reeled it in, and then Zoey opened it up to reveal… a scale.
"Huh… only one scale?" Zoey wondered.
Mermaid Scale - A single scale from a mythical mermaid. One more and you can make some earrings!
"Hmm…" Zoey looked at Umber, then started grinning. "Psst, Umber!"
"Hmm?" Umber wondered and then Zoey tossed him the Mermaid Scale.
"Find a way to duplicate this and then give it to Xena. They might make some cute earrings!"
"Well, I do know that Kamek has a duplication spe-…" He started to blush. "Oh…"
Zoey let out a giggle. "Think she might appreciate it." She said where they heard the claw grabbing a hold of another item as they turned to see a small Merfle cage.
"Hang on, I got it!" Mona said, punching the cage hard enough to shatter it.
"Whew! Thank you!" The Merfle smiled and then with a snap from Xena's fingers, it was teleported to the Sweet Stuff as they found themselves at a rock wall.
"Looks like we're going to the surface." Wario said as the Subwarine went to the top.
End BGM
The moment they surfaced and climbed out of the Subwarine, they were greeted by hot temperatures and volcanoes.
"Weeeeell, that escalated quickly!" Iris said.
"Welp, here's hoping it won't get too hot." Jen hoped.
"Let's-a go! …And fast, I'm starting to sweat." Wario said as they walked off.
World 2-3 - Mt. Lava Lava - Out of the Cool Depths into the Frying Pan.
BGM: Mt. Lava Lava (Wario World: Shake It!)
The group walked through the area, all of them looking around as they saw volcanoes erupting in the background. "Huh, just like the Koopa Kingdom." Umber said to himself as they saw a pool of lava in front of them as they jumped across while also taking out the Volcannons in the way.
A few moving platforms that were on stilts moved around as a few of them climbed up on them to get a better view, and then Iris would spot a treasure chest on a platform as she jumped over to it and opened it up… to reveal rocks.
"…You're joking, right?" Iris asked. "This universe has… odd ideas for treasure."
Bangin'-Together Rocks: Rocks that you can bang together for noisy fun. You might even make a spark!
"Meh, lame." Iris tossed them behind her as she jumped back to the others as they jumped across the walking platforms that were walking across the lava, with Wario and Mona finding themselves a few diamonds as they jumped onto the moving platforms as Mona jumped to safety with the others while Wario waited for the right moment.
"Come on… easy does it… easy… easy…" Wario smirked. "NOW!" He yelled as he leapt across the lava… and found he was a little short. "…Oh boy. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he fell into the lava.
Pause BGM
"Holy shit!" Iris exclaimed as they ran toward the lava.
"…Couldn't have happened to a better person…" Nyx mumbled under her breath… before she realized what she just said. "Mmph! …Mmm… what… what's wrong with me…" She whispered.
"Do you even see him?" Umber asked.
"I don't even know!" Xena said and then glanced at Waluigi. "Wait, why aren't you worried about him? He's your brother!"
"Three. Two. One." Waluigi counted as Wario's hand burst out of the lava.
Resume BGM
Wario's hand grabbed the ledge and Wario pulled himself out of the lava. "Whew… I don't recommend that." He said, pounding his head to get the lava out of his ears.
"HOW?!" Everyone yelled while Nyx was in too much in shock before she let out a sigh of relief.
"Eh, you get used to it." Wario said, taking his hat off and wringing the lava out of it. "There we go!"
"Hang on, I need to see something real quick." Chloe said as he checked his body. "…You gotta be kidding me. No burns anywhere?!"
"This stuff happens all the time. It doesn't really bother him that much." Waluigi said.
"Yeah. If anything, lava is just a minor annoyance. Wahahaha! Let's see if Mario can handle something like that!" Wario boasted proudly. "If anything, I'm loads better than him!"
Meanwhile, with Mario…
Mario had put Weiss down on the bed after her fight with Sephiroth. "Alright, let's start to patch her… ah… ah…" He turned around. "ACHOO! …Goodness, what's with my sinuses today?"
Back with the others…
"Heheh." Wario grinned proudly. "Now then, let's-a go!" He sai as they started to walk off, though Nyx was left by herself.
"…What's wrong with me?" Nyx wondered to herself. "Why… why can't I let go of this…" She said to herself, but it was loud enough for Anthony to hear her.
"Hmm…" He thought to himself as they continued on, where they climbed up a few platforms and discovered another treasure chest where Mona happily opened it up.
"Ooooh!" Mona grinned as she pulled out a top. "It's a cute little top!" She smiled as she knelt down and started to spin it… where it would suddenly burst into flames. "Oh my goodness, that's so cool!" She exclaimed. "I have myself a flaming top!" She exclaimed… and then the top disintegrated. "…Aww…"
Combustible Top - Spins so fast that it sets itself on fire! Sadly, you can only play with it the one time.
"Oh well… it was fun while it lasted." She said with a small pout as she went off to catch up with the others, then they walked through a small cave where they noticed a few bomb blocks sitting there.
"What's with the bomb blocks?" Jade wondered.
"Let's find out." Nyx said, aiming her crossbow and firing at the bomb blocks, where they would expect some treasure to fall… but a big boulder slammed into the ground instead… and started rolling.
"Oh crap!" Sarge exclaimed. "Move! Move move move!" He said as they started running away as they would dive into a small hole… however, Wario accidentally tripped as he was crushed by the boulder shortly after.
"WAH! OOOOF! OW! OW! MMMPH! OWWWW!" He cried out as the boulder slammed into the wall and a pancaked Wario came flying out toward them, landing in a pancaked mess with stars circling above his head.
"Oh… shit…" Nyx said, grimacing. "That was an accident, I swear! I… I didn't mean to-"
"Hang on, I got just the thing." Waluigi said, pulling out an air pump as he placed it inside Wario's mouth and then started pumping him up, where Wario would be back to his normal self within seconds.
"Aaah, good as new!" Wario said, flexing his muscles.
"HUH?!" Nyx said in surprise while everyone else looked dumbfounded.
"Okay… that is quite impressive." Iris said in awe.
"Tell me about it!" Jade nodded.
"We think we speak for everyone here when we say that… Wario's hard to kill." Xena said.
"Agreed." All of MAJC and Sarge agreed.
"…Yeah, agreed." Nyx said and then looked at her crossbow, thinking of how she was willing to kill these two dunderheads earlier. She closed her eyes, not even sure what to even think right now as Wario walked past Nyx before giving her a pat on the shoulder.
"Don't even worry about it." Wario said and then walked off as Nyx stared at the Wario Bros walking away.
"Uh… right… sure…" Nyx nodded, awkwardly rubbing her arm as they walked off together while the Wario Bros found themselves the last treasure chest and pulled out a fan.
"Ooooh, I could definitely use this." Wario said.
"Allow me!" Waluigi said, flicking the fan hard enough as a strong breeze hit him and everyone else.
"Aaaah… I feel much cooler now." Sarge said.
Fantabulous Fan - A single wave of this fan keeps Wario cool for hours, even on his sweatiest of days.
"Hit me next!" Waluigi requested as Wario swung the fan to cool off Waluigi… but considering how hard he swung the fan… "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
THUD!
"Oh!" Wario winced as Waluigi pulled himself out of the rock wall. "Sorry!"
"You really don't know your own strength…" Waluigi mumbled
"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before." Wario said, putting the fan away.
"Man, why do I still feel cooled down after one swing of that fan?" Umber asked.
"Must be really effective!" Xena smiled as they continued on where they found the Merfle as Xena teleported him away as they found themselves two warp pipes, one of them being golden as Mona immediately jumped into the golden one while everyone else followed her… except for Nyx who hesitantly looked at the two pipes.
End BGM
She closed her eyes, remembering how the Wario Bros destroyed her home and kicked her out… and yet, here they are, these two dunderheads being surprisingly decent, not to mention Wario not only survived a dip in lava, but also being crushed by a boulder.
"…Why can't I just… move on from this…" She grumbled as she walked into the golden warp pipe.
Meanwhile, at Diamond City…
"Maybe we should ask someone where it's at." Erik said.
"Probably a good idea." Bowser agreed as he spotted a house. "Hmm, how about that house right over there?"
"It's a good start." Erik said as they walked off to the house in question, but Erik would notice a scribbling on the mailbox while Bowser walked straight to the door. "The… Volts residence?" Erik read, and then spotted Bowser opening the door. "Bowser, what are you doing?!"
"Knocking is for chumps!" Bowser said as he managed to squeeze his way in.
"Oi…" Erik pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked through the door.
"Oh hi honey!" A female voice called. "How was school today? What'd you lear-… OH!" The woman yelped in surprise, and then grabbed the broom. "What are you doing in my house! Get out! Go go go!" She yelled, batting Bowser with the broom.
"Ow! Hey! Ow! Watch it, lady!" Bowser said, grabbing the broom and breaking it in half.
"Agh! That was my good broom too…" She sighed.
"Eheheh… sorry about barging in… my friend here doesn't know a thing about knocking." Erik said. "Sorry about that miss-"
"5-Volt."
"5-Volt… sorry about that."
"No no, it's okay…" 5-Volt said. "So, what can I do for you two?"
"We're looking for someone named Mia. She kinda has blue hair, kinda like mine."
"Oh, the thief that's been stealing out of WarioWare?"
"Yes!" Both said.
"You just missed her. She came by to snag some cookies." 5-Volt giggled. "She's made quite the name for herself here and everyone thinks she's the most charming individual!"
"Charming shmarming! She's stealing my treasure that the Wario Bros stole from me!" Bowser said.
"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss! I'm sure this is just a big misunderstanding. I think she went to go see Ashley next…" 5-Volt said.
"Ashley… I don't even know where she is." Erik said.
"Oh, you'll find a mountain nearby and you'll see ominous lightning flashing in the sky."
"Got ya." Erik nodded.
"By the way, do you boys want some cookies? I got plenty of 'em!"
"Mmph… I have to say, it's a bit cramped in here." Bowser said as he tried to move around… and knocking stuff over. "I prefer castles, it's much roomier in here!"
"Oh, stop! Stop! You're making a mess!"
"Oh please, it's not my fault that you have such a cramped house that-" Bowser tipped a small table over that held a vase… and caused it to fall to the ground, shattering on impact. "-there's no room for the King of Awesome here!"
"King of Awesome…" 5-Volt clenched her fists, her face slowly turning red as they heard the sound of a tea kettle whistling. "More like the King of Clumsiness!"
"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?" Bowser smirked… when suddenly, 5-Volt let out an angry scream that turned into a lion roaring that startled Erik.
"Oh.. Uh… look at the time, I better go to Ashley's house!" Erik said as he took off running.
"Bwahahaha! Oh, so this is the demon I've heard so much about!" Bowser smirked, watching 5-Volt having turned into a straight up demon. "Very well, you wish to challenge me? I ACCEPT! SHOWTIME!" He roared.
Outside…
"Whew… that was a bit unnerving." Erik mumbled. "…So, lightning?" He looked around and saw a mountain in the distance with lightning flashing in the distance. "Ah, there it is." He said, and then he heard a crash as he turned around to see Bowser launching out of the roof and smashing into the ground next to Erik.
"Ooogh… what's her deal?" He groaned.
"Come on, let's go." Erik said, grabbing Bowser's tail and dragging him away.
"Hmph!" 5-Volt dusted her hands together, having turned back to normal. "That'll teach him."
A huntress is at war with herself... and the Koopa King got his ass kicked by 5-Volt. Just your average day in this universe.