AN: So, I revisited this amazing series after watching Yashahime and watching the episode with Sarah Hime in which Sesshoumaru is sittting fumming while his newly cut arm is bleeding, it made me wonder what was going through his mind at that moment and what happened after. So I made this up (: Hope you like it and if there are any mistakes, please let me know (english is not my first language)
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BALANCE.
Sesshoumaru held "perfection" in his name and always seeked to do it justice. Due to natural talent and hard work, he always excelled in anything: calligraphy, literature, battle strategy, fight skills, he was the best in everything. And he never accepted to be less than that.
He was the fine flower of his Clan and everyone in youkai realm agreed that he was the ideal prince and son: disciplined, perfectionist. He always won the games with the other children and sometimes even turned his back on the competitions if the victory was too easy. Nothing escaped him.
None learned as quickly, none was so precocious.
Even his appearance was perfect.
Sesshoumaru's true form was the epitome of a pure blood supernatural creature. A being of the Heavens, a heavenly hound, powerful, fast, lethal. His humanoide appearance was beautiful even for youkai standards, and Sesshoumaru knew this since everyone around him made their thoughts known.
In summon, he was Perfection in any aspect.
Then how? How did that happen to him?
To find Tessaiga was supposed to be a simple task. Finding it had proven tricky, yes, but Sesshoumaru was good with puzzles and a challenge was always welcome. The sword was his by right for he was the only son of the Inu no Taisho. The only pure son, therefore the only one that mattered. The heritage was his and that was out of question.
Inuyasha should provide the last clue for that ongoing game between him and his deceased father. Something nasty he would have to deal with in the final steps of the way and deal with once and for all to cleanse that one spot in the otherwise great name of the Dog General. He would free them all from that inconvenience.
He shouldn't be a challenge, it should be so troublesome.
But something had gone wrong along the way. Somehow, the hanyou had not only been able to use Sesshoumaru's heritage, but used it against him, mutilating the youkai in the process.
Sesshoumaru had fought demons who were more powerful, more capable, more experienced and had won without so much as a scratch in his face. Inuyasha had done something none of them had: he defeated him.
A bastard hanyou.
Defeated him, Sesshoumaru.
And not only that, he marked Sesshoumaru's defeat in his body, for the whole world to see and the youkai never to forget.
How? He couldn't understand.
When he was recovering himself from the lost of his arm, Sesshoumaru had played in his mind everything he had done since discovering the bastard hanyou was somehow involved in the quest for Tessaiga. He revisited all the decisions he had made, all the movements along the battle and could not find the error (Jaken surely had some blame in it, nevermind he didn't know yet in what exactly but he did and so Sesshoumaru punished him accordingly).
Inuyasha shouldn't have won. He, Sesshoumaru, shouldn't have lost. Not to such an inferior adversary. And yet, he did. And Sesshoumaru did.
What should he have done differently? Where was the mistake? He could not find the answer by himself.
And that was the reason why the young Prince was now in front of Bokuseno, waiting with a black expression.
The old magnolia tree had listened patiently Sesshoumaru's tale and now watched him, sitting against a sister tree and staring at him with an imperceptible expectancy. His only arm was resting against a knee.
Bokuseno kept to himself the words of reproval when Sesshoumaru spoke so nonchalantly about the tortures he had imposed on his younger brother and about trying to take his life. He watched Seshoumaru grow up and knew his parents way before he was even born. Bokuseno knew that expressing any favorable opinion about Inuyasha would only enrage Sesshomaru. Not that he feared the inu would kill him - Bokuseno was one of the few creatures above the Earth that had gained some respect from the young Prince - but enough to make Sesshoumaru put up those thick walls he cared around himself and cut any sort of contact with the old tree.
And Bokuseno had made a promise, centuries ago, that he would do his best to advise the son of his old friend.
That could only work if Sesshoumaru was willing to ask for such advice every now and then.
It would be pointless to try to point it out to him that Inu no Taisho had recognized Inuyasha as his son and if Sesshoumaru couldn't accept the hanyou for himself, then he should do it in respect to his father's memory. It was possible Sesshoumaru wouldn't even comprehend that request because the moral codes in youkai world were others. The strongest got what they wanted and was left for the weak ones to submit or to become strong enough to resist. So, Sesshoumaru didn't see anything wrong in torturing a member of his own blood to get his way.
But he was still young. There was so much room to change, so many things to still cross his path!
Right now, what the Sesshoumaru seeked was an error in his strategy. A practical answer to what seemed an impossibility in his mind for an "inferior creature" had caused him to experience defeat for the first time in his life.
" Do you remember the Mahjong games?", Bokuseno finally asked.
There was a glimpse of surprise in the golden eyes that Sesshoumaru didn't bother trying to hide. Then Suspicion replaced the surprise, a common thing when he wasn't really sure of where something was leading to. Sesshoumaru never trusted anything other than himself.
"What about it?", Sesshoumaru asked.
In a time when that fierce young Inu was nothing more than a child, there was an annual tradition between him and the Dog General: every year, during the first days of the spring, they would visit Bokuseno and play Mahjong under the old magnolia tree. When that started, Sesshoumaru had the correspondent to a 5 years old human child and he already showed signs of the lethal demon he would become: he was a precocious child, silent, observant and way too confident.
Bokuseno recalled the level of concentration he could reach. Sesshoumaru wouldn't stop, not even to brag. Nothing distracted him and he rarely said anything at all while Inu no Taisho always smiled, sipped his sake and talked enough to fill in the day as he exchanged information and histories with the Magnolia Tree.
The game could last for more than a human day and Sesshoumaru's moves were always calculated and in all honesty, often brilliant. The boy was a natural strategist, anticipating his father's moves and showing a remarkable memory as well as a deep knowledge on how the Inu no Taisho's mind worked. Bokuseno watched, not without some admiration, as he slowly took over the game with skill, yes, but also with high doses of creativity.
But there was always a moment in which the game turned.
Inu no Taisho always found a breach, a minuscule detail that lead him to victory. Those reverses were absurd and quite franckly defied all logic. Of course the Dog General wasn't the most capable fighter in Japan for nothing, but several times Bokuseno wondered if Inu no Taisho just wasn't born with a ridiculous amount of good luck for boarding games.
Whatever it was, Sesshoumaru could never beat his father in Mahjong. Once he considered asking Inu no Taisho to just let his son win a match, at least once, but as soon as the thought came Bokuseno put it to rest. It wasn't the Dog General style to disrespect an adversary giving anything but his best, he would never underestimate his son like that.
Also, Sesshoumaru would know.
Bokuseno could see as clearly as if it was happening now; the little gold eyes would grow in unbelief as the defeat approached. It was almost possible to see his brain working to find a way out or to make sense of that while his breath accelerated a little. Bokuseno could hear the little heart accelerating, like a little bird flapping its wings.
Inu no Taisho watched him attentively, maybe waiting for an explosion. If that was the case, it never came.
Little Sesshoumaru always regained control over himself after only a moment. When his father would make his final move and end the match, he'd raise his eyes to face his father and would say "Congratulations, chichi-ue" with a small bow.
The Dog General would laugh lightly and retribute the bow and Bokuseno saw in the father's eyes both affection and a genuine respect for that boy who was so remarkable and so unlike himself.
Then, the Dog General would mess his son's white hair and even though Sesshoumaru always hated been touched (probably a remnant from his overprotective mother, who forced several poor servants to carry the Moon House Prince everywhere while a feisty baby Sesshoumaru would struggle, bite and scratch until he was old enough to just run away), but he always tolerated bravely his father's shows of affection and in that Bokuseno also saw a demonstration of love.
After several of those meetings that Bokuseno looked forward to, he saw as father and son personalities transferred to the mahjong board. Sesshoumaru played rationally, coldly. Inu no Taisho was guided by his instincts, good at improvising. Opposite personalities, heart and mind.
Now, according to Sesshoumaru's effient descriptions on how the Inu no Taisho's younger son fought and carried himself, Inuyasha came after his father in a surprising manner.
Just as the Dog General, the hayou also had his best weapon in his instincts, he had a talent to act under pressure and improvise. He was all heart, bravery, feeling and ilogic. And just as Inu no Taisho always won the mahjong games, Inuyasha won the battle against Sesshoumaru. And could even win again, because between mind and heart, the heart often was right in matters of life and death.
And that was the only explanation that the old magnolia tree could see.
When Bokuseno finished, the silence reigned for some time. Sesshoumaru looked away and seemed to reflect for a moment, a slight frown above the gold eyes. Then, he got up and Bokuseno understood that the visit had ended.
"What do you intend to do now, Sesshoumaru?", he called while still having the chance, "Regarding your brother?"
Sesshoumaru stopped, without turning. "I have no brother."
Watching the white silhouette distance itself, Bokuseno wondered if that mind and that heart would ever find a balance between themselves.