Summary: Naraku's newest evil plan leaves the gang in the state of constant mess.
A/N: This was requested of me bby C107galaxytachyon. Sorry it took so long to complete this.
Keep in mind this is a subject I don't usually touch on. Hopefully it turns out enjoyable to read.
Beta: Fawn_Eyed_Girl.
Two in One
"Kukuku," Naraku laughed maliciously as he farted out a cloud of miasma, thick and purple, right into the face of a charging Inuyasha. "Can't touch me!"
"Fuck!" The inu hanyou staggered back and covered his face with a sleeve, trying to keep out the potent poison now surrounding Naraku like hellish fog. He tried to disperse the miasma with a few swipes of Tessaiga, but it didn't seem to help at all.
"Inuyasha!" called Sango for a change, concern clear in her voice where she flew astride Kirara, boomerang at ready. "Are you alright?"
"Damn, shit, no! Don't come near this!" Inuyasha responded, taking a few leaps back just to make sure he didn't inhale the miasma. Not even he could withstand the potent, putrid, poisonous air Naraku was so fond of.
Miroku supported him when Inuyasha stumbled over the spilled contents of Kagome's yellow backpack lying on the ground. The hanyou glanced towards where the miko was... yeah, she was finishing duct taping her last arrow, the one she'd broken during the day and hadn't had time to fix yet.
"We'll kick your fat ass, Naraku!" Inuyasha barked at the vile hanyou, who glared at him.
"No, you won't! I, Naraku, will emerge victorious!" Naraku yelled back, reaching into his cozy baboon pelt and producing a twisted branch adorned with slips of paper that was covered by strange symbols. "You all will perish, thanks to my new evil plan!"
He lifted the branch over his head and in a triumphant voice intoned a spell. The branch burst into flames, pink smoke coming out of it. The spider hanyou threw it in the midst of the group, almost hitting the arrow, shining silver in the afternoon light, zipping towards him and trailing its own pink trail of sparks.
"Aaargh!" cried Naraku in agony and vanished, leaving only the pelt and a small broken doll on the ground. Everyone in the gang relaxed and hurriedly stepped away from the still-burning branch.
"Well, there's that," said Miroku, watching the branch turn to ash on the ground.
"No jewel shards," Sango sighed. The smoke from the burning branch parted on the wind, the wisps of it swaying and circling around the group.
"And no real quality fight." Inuyasha sheathed Tessaiga.
"I always say: a miko can't have enough duct tape in her pocket," Kagome mused out loud and went to collect her stuff. "Can we move away before we set camp for tonight?"
"Sure," the hanyou said and started to sniff for the closest water source. "We will be back at Kaede's the day after tomorrow, no matter where we camp tonight."
"You sound reluctant to go back to the village," Miroku grinned at his friend. Inuyasha shrugged.
"The fox is having his 'grounded' time with the old bat," he said. "I can't imagine what crazy shit he's preparing for us all for leaving him with her."
"It was a punishment for his misbehaving," Sango said firmly. "He will not dare to retaliate."
"Okay, we can go." Kagome pushed her bag at Inuyasha, who slung it over his shoulder. Chatting together, the gang walked away in the direction of the village they all now called home, the ominous promise of Naraku forgotten as they planned their next day.
If they only knew...
Kagome woke up and tried to sit up in her sleeping bag located near the fire.
Inuyasha woke up and tried to gracefully leap off of the branch he had been sleeping on above the campsite.
"Ooof!" They collapsed in a heap of limbs and blanket. They climbed to a sitting position, blinking owlishly in the morning light.
Kagome's ears twitched.
Inuyasha felt somewhat off-balance in his chest area.
Kagome's hand went up to touch the top of her head, fingertips brushing against a quivering ear.
Inuyasha's hand went to inspect what odd weight was now stuck to the front of his torso. He gasped when he got a palm full of rounded, soft flesh.
Birds took flight from the nearby trees in the forest surrounding the gang's camp when the terrified scream rose from the being sitting on the ground near the embers of the fire, one hand on the top of their head, another pressed against their bosom. The voice was odd, not quite feminine and not entirely masculine, full of panic and confusion.
The said cry roused Sango and Miroku. Each jumped to their feet, reaching for their weapon. Sango grabbed for the giant boomerang, while Miroku caught his staff.
The second figure that rose over the campsite stood there, looking wildly around for any attackers, a boomerang in their right and a staff in their left hand.
Neither of them saw any foes, but the sight in front of them made them drop their weapons.
A person sat next to Kagome's sleeping bag. It was a female, her frame rather muscular. Her hair was long, messy and the same color as ash. Her hazel eyes stared up at Miroku and Sango, her mouth hanging open after her scream. She held her left hand on top of her head, holding one of the dog ears that were there. Her other hand clutched at her bosom, as if she was trying to slow her erratic heartbeat. She wore a strange robe that looked similar to Kagome's fuku, but red in color. Long, lean legs stuck out from under the short, pleated red skirt, and Tessaiga was stuck in her belt.
"Inuyasha...? Kagome...?" Sango uttered, staring at the being in front of her.
"What happened to you?" Miroku blinked, trying to collect his thoughts.
It took a second for them to realize that neither question was spoken in their own voice and that both were spoken by one set of lips.
Miroku and Sango looked down.
The birds had just enough time to land on the branches of the nearby trees when a new scream tore through the air, scaring them off yet again. This time the culprit was a person with black hair and dark eyes, dressed in a kimono that was the same shape Miroku's robe was, but bore Sango's clothing's colors.
'I can't believe this!' Kagome thought, staring at the being that was clearly the monk and the slayer morphed together. They sat down on the ground obviously overwhelmed.
'Tell me more! I have boobs!' Kagome blinked and realized that this was Inuyasha's thought.
Kagome almost snapped at him that she was aware of a certain part of the hanyou's anatomy that wasn't his ears and that she could feel as a discomfort. She shifted in her sitting position, so she could sit more comfortably. She wasn't sure they were ready to address the under-the-skirt situation - she for sure wasn't.
The being before her reached their right hand to stroke their own butt and were promptly slapped by their other hand. Their face grew pink with a blush.
"Ow!" they cringed.
'Inuyasha...?' Kagome called tentatively in the privacy of her mind, that was no longer so private. She forgot to be freaked out and panicked as she examined the strange set of thoughts, memories and feelings right next to hers, not really separated by anything other than the awareness where one ended and the other started.
'We're in one body,' he grumbled.
"It appears that, by some strange magic we are now merged with our lovely lady companions," spoke the dark-haired entity in Miroku's thoughtful intonation. Then they added in a more brisk kind of speech that Sango used, "It must be that branch Naraku burned."
Kagome didn't have time to ponder the weirdness of them two speaking as one, but retaining their speech patterns, because Inuyasha used their shared mouth.
"Damn that bastard!" he barked and she punched him... erm, them, lightly on the shoulder. "Don't use such language when it's my mouth! Our mouth, wench, and I can do what I want with it! No, you can't! Witness me! Fuck! Osuwari! Owww!"
Miroku and Sango, now a bit calmer after calling a temporary touching truce, watched in bewilderment as their friends first broke into their usual bickering, not bothered at all that they had to share their mouth, then promptly sat themselves and hit Kagome's bedroll.
"Well, that was a view," Miroku commented.
"Ow, that hurt! How can you endure that?" came a muffled complaint of the prostrate person, followed by a sour remark. "How, I wonder?"
"Let's be reasonable and calm," Sango said, grabbing at the wrist of her suddenly-wandering hand. "And behave! We're all adults here. There has to be a logical solution to this."
She felt odd when Miroku nodded their shared head. It seemed that they both had the rule of the whole body if the other didn't object to it. But she was more able to move her left hand, while the right was more prone to listen to Miroku.
"I suggest we don't change our plans and go straight for Lady Kaede's village. She might know how to undo this magic." Miroku wiggled his fingers and brushed his fingertips over the ample bosom that usually adorned Sango's chest, but now was temptingly in front of him. He sighed when he felt his own chest being touched - it wasn't as much fun as teasing Sango.
The miko-hanyou duet rose from the bed roll and scowled, rubbing their left cheek.
"Sure. I hope it will work. I can't go to school looking like this."
The crisis was fended off, for about five minutes, when Inuyasha and Kagome both at the same time felt a certain call of nature. They blushed and froze in the middle of digging for ramen cups in the yellow bag.
'We need to piss.' Inuyasha stated the obvious tentatively after a few moments of contemplating the problem.
'I know!' Kagome squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to think about reaching under her skirt and... She was suddenly very aware of a certain part of her new anatomy that had come from Inuyasha.
Lately, they were growing closer, but she wasn't sure she was ready to touch that. But her bladder wasn't going to forget about the pressing issue, so...
'You know, we can't keep it in.' Inuyasha shifted where they knelt in front of the bag.
'I'll try!' she declared firmly. What she felt from the hanyou's side of their shared mind was no longer embarrassment. Now, it was irritation.
'I'm not pissing my pants because you're a prude!' He jerked at their body, making it stand up.
I'm not molesting you!' Kagome pushed against him, making them stumble on their way towards the bushes. Now she was annoyed, because the hanyou, after an initial spike of embarrassment, was amused.
'You don't have to touch me there,' Inuyasha informed her smugly. 'I devised a perfect strategy to preserve our modesty.'
'You... you did?'
'Keh! I ain't no idiot, wench!' Inuyasha leaped over a cluster of convenient plants and looked back to make sure they were concealed from the campsite. 'Trust me.'
Kagome nodded and let go, observing curiously. Inuyasha, despite often acting rash and silly, wasn't a moron. He was not good at conveying his emotions or thoughts; his plans were often on the simple side, but he was capable of adjusting them in a short time and could focus on finding solutions.
With a few swipes of his clawed hand, Inuyasha dug a small hole and then stood over it. The miko understood what he had in mind when he hooked a finger of each hand in the waistband of their panties and together they pulled them down, crouching over the hole and closing their eyes.
Shortly after they returned to the camp, both praising in their minds Kagome's short skirt. Inuyasha quickly became amused and Kagome sympathetic when they noticed that Miroku and Sango were performing the potty waltz towards another cluster of bushes. The goofy smile and redness of their cheeks when they came back signified that they hadn't devised a similar strategy.
'I bet they had a loincloth to take care of,' Inuyasha snickered as they poured water into their ramen cups.
'Oh, heavens bless modern panties!' Kagome sighed and made a mental note to see if she had any clean underwear to give to the others.
Food prepared, they sat down to eat in peace and comfort.
Meanwhile, Sango and Miroku were focused inwards. The bathroom issue to them included a lot of fumbling with spacious robes and learning new things about each other.
'I never have imagined women can do it while standing up.' Miroku was fascinated and somewhat embarrassed and surprised. He'd expected to tease Sango and have some light amusement at the bashful girl's expanse.
He hadn't expected Sango, ever practical warrior of a fighting clan, to fight down her mortification and whipped out a strange pipe from her gear before retiring to the vegetation to water a tree. He was too surprised by the whole experience to actually indulge in some ogling.
'I don't like to pee standing up,' Sango said. Yes, this all had been a terribly embarrassing mess, but as she'd suspected, a surprised Miroku was a distracted Miroku. And in the end, her dignity was preserved, while the content of her bladder was blessedly no longer bothering her.
Actually, the innocent amazement in Miroku's thoughts was quite amusing. And here he'd been, thinking he knew all there was to be known about women.
They ate their ramen, looking idly at the being that housed their friends. It looked like Kagome was trying to rein in Inuyasha's tendency to devour food in a matter of seconds.
Then, they both noticed something that made Sango blush all over again.
'Should we tell them?" Miroku asked, not allowing her to look away for a moment.
'What? No! They'll be embarrassed!' She shook her head.
'They will be anyway, when they realize later on. I think we should tell them.'
'I don't know how! And you will make a perverted remark, I can sense it!'
'You can tell them then?' Miroku suggested. Either way it was going to be a spectacle.
'What? No!'
'Then I will. I promise not to make any weird remarks, okay?' Miroku suggested, and when Sango relaxed the muscles of their jaw, he cleared their throat.
"The weather is a bit windy," he said, looking at the others, who stopped eating and lifted an eyebrow. "It must be pretty drafty."
"Keh, a bit of wind never bothered me before," Inuyasha scoffed.
"Well..." Miroku tried again, sensing Sango's frustration with the oblivious pair. "Adjusting to different clothing must be odd...?"
The person sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the camp tilted their head to the side.
"Nah," they said. "I'm pretty used to it. It's pretty comfortable anyway, and Inuyasha is used to loose fitting clothing, so it's not a big deal."
"We can see your panties!" Sango snapped, not amused by the youthful innocence of their friends. "And we can see it all!"
'You are a true mistress of subtlety, dear Sango," Miroku chuckled when the person in front of them glanced down and then dropped their almost-empty ramen cup and chopsticks to pull at the hem of their skirt to cover the pink panties stretching over their crotch. The modern garment was not designed to house Inuyasha's manhood along, with its usual content.
"Miroku! Don't look, you pervert!" It was hard to decide if the high-pitched shriek was more Kagome or Inuyasha.
"Oh," Miroku grinned. "It's not me; it's Sango who has noticed and pointed out the... view."
It was Sango's turn to emit a shriek of mortification as she covered their mouth and squeezed their eyes shut. On the other side of her eyelids, she could hear their friends shift and curse under their breath. Miroku in their joined mind snickered.
"I promise, I wouldn't have the gall to alert you to the malfunction of your garments in such bold words... I would probably have just waited for you to notice yourselves." The monk sounded so amused. It was weird how the tone and pitch of their voice changed depending on who was in control of their speech.
An hour later, when they were on the road to Kaede's village, the entity consisting of Inuyasha and Kagome was still blushing and often glaring at the other one on the road, cursing sporadically.
As they walked no one seemed to pay much attention to them; to travelers on the road they were another pair of women, albeit a bit odd, but not worth sparing more than a curious glance. They made pretty good time, but still, they knew that it was only a matter of time before Naraku came to attack them again.
So, it was no surprise when, at late afternoon, when they were in a narrow valley between two steep hills, a hoard of low-level youkai emerged from both sides of the road and charged at them, trampling the shrubs that grew on the rocky terrain. Kagome cringed when the high-pitched screams of the youkai resonated in the thick, humid air, the ears on top of her head flattering in response to the foul noise.
At the top of one of the hills, there emerged a huge oni, armed with a club. On one of its shoulders sat Naraku, wrapped in his extremely fluffy pelt. His laughter at seeing his trap snapping around his foes carried over the valley, cold and sinister. He urged the oni to walk down half of the height of the slope, so he could watch the battle and taunt the two entities swarmed by the youkai.
It was total chaos. A study in disaster. A terrible mockery of the usual efficiency with which the team dealt with such weak threats.
Miroku and Sango had it worse than Inuyasha and Kagome. They lacked the agility the other being had, which allowed them to dodge the youkai attacks with more time to spare. Both the slayer and the monk were decent fighters, but their fighting styles were so vastly different that it was hard for them to come up with a coherent strategy. Sango couldn't utilize her boomerang well with only one hand, while Miroku's aim was all over the place when he threw sacred papers at the swarming youkai. There was little of their typical efficiency in their actions, but they were managing to get out of the way of the beasts for now.
Meanwhile, Inuyasha found himself struggling on a different level. While Kagome wasn't coming up with moves contradicting his own, he had to fight against her own reaction to seeing a hoard of claws, fangs and flashing eyes tumbling down towards them. In short, instead of fighting or fleeing, the miko had the dangerous tendency to freeze. She couldn't use her bow when he wielded the Tessaiga, the giant fang helping a big deal in keeping the enemies at bay.
Each pair was too lost in internal struggling and yelling to call out to the other or lend a hand - they were far too focused on trying to stay alive. They lacked focus and they struggled against themselves, their emotions rising and blending together in a mess none of them could understand.
And over it all, sitting on his high perch, Naraku laughed and feasted his eyes upon the battlefield.
"Ah, this is rich!" Naraku laughed when Inuyasha's concentration to create the Wind Scar shattered yet again, while Kagome panicked and shot her reiki in a small blast at the youkai running at them. The youkai was burned to ash, but two others took its place.
"Look at you. So weak and useless! My minions can wipe you out with no trouble at any time! Know that I, Naraku, ordered them to play with you instead of going for the kill!"
Inuyasha growled, or at least tried to, but it's hard to growl when a certain miko was at the same time trying to say something not very nice. The result wasn't what any of them wanted. It only made Naraku laugh louder.
"Ha! It was I, Naraku, who found a way to undo all your strengths! Now you are powerless! You will never defeat me; in fact, you will die here, realizing that I, Naraku, am clearly the superior being to the likes of you!"
Sango whipped a poisoned throwing star from her belt and threw it at the vile hanyou, but her aim was a bit off because Miroku glanced to the side at the wrong time. He was justified to do so, because a youkai was leaping at them and this way he was able to deflect its attack, but the star missed Naraku by a wide margin.
"It is I, Naraku, who have cursed you so! It is my power that caused your impending doom!" Naraku threw his mantle open as he lifted his hands in a dramatic gesture, his mask falling off to reveal his face, ruby eyes glimmering like gems. He was clearly having a good time, enjoying every second of his triumph over the gang of friends that so often had foiled his plans.
Little did he know that he was the cause of his own impending fall.
For his monologue had one unforeseen result.
It gave the four people trapped in the two entities the elusive focus. They stopped yelling at each other and fighting for dominance. They found a goal that was no longer surviving despite the other, but getting revenge along with each other.
Suddenly, Sango lifted her boomerang to use it as a shield, so she could provide Miroku with a bit of coverage from his left while he loosened the beads on his right hand. With a grin that had both her determination and his smugness, the pair unleashed the Wind Tunnel, at the same time using the wide weapon to shield themselves. They had covered each other's back in battle for months; they knew they could trust each other.
Kagome ceased her attempts at single reiki bursts and wrapped her hand behind Inuyasha's on the hilt of Tessaiga, pushing some of her reiki into the demonic blade. The Wind Scar that tore across the battlefield not a minute later was imbued with glimmering pink light of holy energy. Instead of disturbing each other's focus, they utilized their powers together, using their unlikely sync to strengthen the already devastating attack.
The ashes of the decimated youkai soared on the winds that tore through the valley and flew to fill the hole in Miroku's hand.
Naraku stopped laughing and scowled at the new development, his horde quickly disappearing under the suddenly effective attacks of the pair. He didn't have much time to contemplate this new development; the next holy Wind Scar had his name written on it and took care not only of him, but also the oni he sat upon.
Or, to be more precise, on which the puppet he controlled from safety of his basement sat.
"No!" he yelled, his voice echoing in the dark, gloomy room.
In the valley, Tessaiga and Hiraikotsu were thrown up and caught by their owners in a gesture of joy, along with some yells.
"Fuck yeah! Osuwari! Ow!"
"We did it! Stop patting my hip! It's an expression of joy and appreciation! Ow!"
The gang moved a few kilometers away from the valley before they set camp to rest and take care of their wounds and bruises. They were all in good spirits after the victory. The rest of their travel that day was calm and they were planning to treat themselves to a nice meal in a secluded meadow near a spring.
While the miko and hanyou entity went to wash as much of themselves as they dared, Sango and Miroku went about collecting firewood., which was a task that would take twice the time now, because there was but a pair of arms to hold the load. But this gave them some time and privacy to talk - technically they could easily talk in their mind, but it was still odd to exchange words.
'Um, monk...' Sango started hesitantly, blushing a bit, but determined to breach the subject that was on her mind for a while now.
'Yes, my fair companion?' he asked immediately. His voice was playful, but he sounded honest when he called her fair. She blushed again, now more than ever able to see how much of his flattering words and compliments towards her were real, not just teasing.
'I... Um, I noticed... You stopped trying to touch me.'
'That's correct.'
'May I ask... Why?' Sango asked. It wasn't like she enjoyed being groped, especially in public, but this was a part of their dynamic for so long that now, when he stopped doing that, she was increasingly anxious that something had changed and maybe he wasn't interested in her. She would prefer him showing his affection in a more subtle and decent way, but she'd grown to understand that he liked her somewhat violent reaction to his wandering hand. She wasn't a simple village girl who would blush and be bashful, and she wasn't a lord's perfect princess who would shriek: she was a warrior who would defend herself with an iron fist. Up until now she'd been hoping that this was what had drawn him to her. Now... Now she wasn't sure what to think and feel.
'The answer is simple,' Miroku stopped picking firewood and looked to the distance. 'It's not fun when I'm touching you in our shared form. And knowing that you feel the slap of just retaliation alongside me is not helping matters. But rest assured, as soon as we're back to normal, my cursed hand will find its way to lay upon the supple curve of your...'
The entity standing in the forest with half of an armful of firewood, suddenly dropped the load on their feet when their free hand rose to pinch their right ear.
'In that case be warned that I will retaliate. I will always retaliate,' Sango said, and for some weird reason, to Miroku it sounded like a sweet promise of kisses and caresses.
So what if their relationship was a bit spicy? They made it work for them and they would go on and see what was waiting for them after Naraku was gone for good and the jewel purified.
.
Inuyasha and Kagome were, meanwhile, engaged in catching dinner. Since the hanyou was stuck with the human for the time being, they decided against running in the forest and bringing down a bigger game or a bunch of rabbits. Even after months spent in the past, Kagome still didn't like seeing fuzzy animals being killed and skinned. So they opted to go fishing.
Shoes and socks removed, the entity stood in the spring, poised to strike with their right hand. The hanyou was teaching his companion, telling her to relax and stay motionless and quiet, their eyes focused on the water and dark shapes swimming around their calves. When it was the right time, Inuyasha gave the command to go and they slashed at the fish, sending it flying out of the stream.
When Kagome remarked that it was useless to teach her his way of fishing because as a human she couldn't match his speed and agility, and couldn't swipe a fish out of the water, Inuyasha told her to shut up.
'You can train patiently waiting for the opportunity to strike with me,' he told her.
'This, from a man who always charges on his foes without thinking,' Kagome teased.
'Keh, shows what you know,' he huffed. They got another fish to add to their collection on the shore before he continued. 'I'm not charging at 'em like a mindless beast, you know.'
'I never said you were mindless,' Kagome pointed out.
'I'm the one in the group that can take the beating best,' Inuyasha told her. 'You humans get a bone broken and you're down for at least a moon. It's only right that I get the first attack to gauge how strong the opponent is. And, besides, what do you think I'm doing when I sit up at night? I plan what to do in any kind of situation we're attacked. I'm the leader. One of you gets hurt, it's on me.'
The miko could sense the wealth of emotions and the weight of self-appointed leadership the hanyou felt, along with the silent pride he carried within his heart. It made her smile softly, her affection for the boy swelling in her own heart.
That was when the foul scent filled their nose and the smile vanished off of their face.
'What is that odor?' Kagome gasped, but before Inuyasha could answer, she sensed a certain pair of jewel shards approaching fast. 'Kouga?'
'He ain't smellin' like a bed of orchids,' Inuyasha snickered. 'Let's get out of the water. You don't want to sit us in here.'
'I wouldn't!' Kagome exclaimed.
'Yeah, sure,' Inuyasha agreed in a tone of voice telling her that he believed her, but didn't want to take chances. They leaped on the dry grass near their socks, turning towards the direction the wolf was approaching from.
"Oi, dog shit!" yelled Kouga as he breached the undergrowth that grew between the forest and the stream. "What have you... What have you done with my woman?!"
Kagome winced at the flashing eyes and the angry expression turned her way, but Inuyasha only shrugged.
"She ain't your woman, flea bag."
"She is! I said so and she didn't say no!" the wolf leader stated, glaring at the entity. Kagome gasped in outrage at his totally medieval statement. "Where's Kagome? I can smell her all over you... And you look weird, too..."
"Yeah, I have boobs now," Inuyasha said sourly. Kouga growled and suddenly stood before them. He tried to grab at their shoulders, but Inuyasha leaped out of his grasp and growled himself.
"I think it's enough, boys," Kagome said. Kouga blinked, hearing the entity sound more like the miko. "We got merged together by Naraku's spell, Kouga. I'm very much present and I don't like what you said there. I'm not your woman, I told you many times..."
"You can be fixed, right? I don't want my bride tainted by a hanyou," Kouga asked cautiously.
'See? That's why I want to punch him in the face whenever he opens his trap,' Inuyasha told the miko, who was seething. Now, when she was on this end of their relationship with the wolf, she was not made speechless by his flattery. Even knowing that she was a part of the entity, Kouga was still scowling and sniffing, glancing at their ears.
"We're working on finding the cure," Kagome said, glaring at the dark-haired male who didn't hide his relief.
"That's good. Say, it won't weaken your ability to see shards, right?" he inquired."You know, being pretty is nice and all, but I'm the leader of a pack; I need you to find more of these so I can protect my packmates better."
It was the first time Inuyasha saw Kagome punch someone. It was glorious, especially since he had a good vantage point to appreciate the view and also aid in her valiant effort, providing his strength and experience to help her land the most satisfying punch.
Kouga actually stumbled back.
"Ah, 'shard detector' is a touchy subject," Inuyasha said cheerfully. "Trust me, I was over that phase pretty fast. You're a stupid wolf, so it might take a few years, but you'll learn, eventually."
Kouga wiped the blood from his broken lip and glared.
"Give Kagome back, you mutt! You're a bad influence on her!" he demanded.
It was actually the irate miko who answered. Inuyasha mentally blinked at the colorful language he didn't know the girl was capable of using. Hell, some words he didn't know the meaning of!
'Wow, wench, you have to teach me,' he said, only partially in teasing.
'Shut up,' was her answer. She pointed a finger at Kouga, her fingertip raining pink sparks. "You have ten seconds to go away. I'm not in the mood to hear you talk shit about Inuyasha and act like you own me."
Kouga was about to say something, but he paused, probably to listen to his survival instinct, since the gods didn't bless him with brains, before he mumbled a good bye and ran off.
'That's my wench,' Inuyasha said proudly as they watched him go.
Kagome regretted she couldn't kiss him. Or sit him.
.
Kaede looked at the pair kneeling on the raised floor of her hut, Shippou sitting next to her and staring with his mouth hanging open. The two creatures looked somewhat uncomfortable with Kaede and Shippo mutely watching them, the one with dog ears having the said ears twitching madly, while the other played with the hem of a sleeve.
"Well? Can you fix us?" asked Inuyasha impatiently.
"Aye," the ancient miko declared with a smile when she saw the entity containing Kagome and Inuyasha punch themselves lightly on the right leg in retaliation for their own tone and vocabulary.
"Please, can you do this?" asked Sango, hope in her eyes. "I long to take a bath, as does Kagome... And I, fair Sango, I wish to bathe as well. Let's make haste for the hot spring and leave Lady Kaede to work on undoing Inuyasha and Kagome's curse first!"
Shippou blinked when Sango didn't slap Miroku for such forward words, but merely pinched his ear. This all was so strange. His friends were all weird and smelled... mixed.
"You are going to wash off the smoke of that burnt branch," Kaede informed the two beings calmly, causing both of them to blush darkly, but one also grinned like an idiot. "Rest assured, it won't be a bath, merely a purifying ceremony with a special potion I will create shortly. I will need your help in preparing everything."
The two jumped to their feet and went to fetch two big bowls. Then Miroku and Sango went to fetch clean spring water while Inuyasha and Kagome went to the forest to supply the priestess with an assortment of herbs.
Tasks complete, they sat down where they wouldn't inconvenience the old lady and waited while she boiled some of the herbs and powders from her stash with those provided by them. Shippou, after the initial interest in his friends' new looks, grew bored, since they were merely resting after their travels, so he went out to play with the village children, taking Kirara along.
'Will it be weird if I say that I'm glad we could spend some time like this, Inuyasha?' asked Kagome as they watched the aged miko stir her potion and whisper spells over it.
'It was... It's fine, wench,' he muttered. He didn't know how to tell her that more than once during this whole affair he'd felt her affection for him, and that he hoped she had felt the devotion he had for her. One of these days, when Naraku was gone, he was going to tell her all about all that mushy feelsy stuff.
'It was fun to kinda wield your strength,' she continued. 'And to talk to you like this.'
'Yeah. And you know now not to sit me on a whim,' he added with a smirk.
At last, when the sun set, Kaede poured the water into the two bowls and spoke the last spell over them, before turning to the two entities in the corner of the room.
"Come. Pick these up, walk to the shrine and purify yourselves with this water as you usually do before praying," she instructed. "Then go and beg the kami to remove the curse. This done, empty the bowls in a ditch in the forest, bury the bowls there as well. Then come back here and go to sleep. If you do as I instructed, you shall wake up as you once were."
Each took a bowl and went outside to climb the steps to the shrine. The cool night air was full of the sounds of the villagers enjoying supper in their huts; no one saw the two beings climbing the steps, cleansing themselves in water smelling of herbs, and then going to pray at the shrine. The sound of the bell carried over the rooftops of the village, but no one was alarmed at hearing it, for it was not a sound of warning, but of worship.
Then, remaining in solemn silence, the two went into the forest and walked for a while before disposing of their cargo. Soon after they were curling under their blankets on the floor of Kaede's hut, the old miko already laying down, but smiling at them before she fell asleep. It took no time at all for them to follow after her.
It was Shippou and Kirara who saw the curse being lifted. They were dozing off in a pile of cuteness in a corner, when a soft pink light filled the hut and they felt a zap of reiki, the holy power not enough to cause pain, but only to wake them up. They relocated to the rafters just in case and could see how the two entities became four, two couples sleeping, each under a blanket, embracing each other in their slumber.
The little fox looked at the cat, who meowed her approval.
All was as it should be in the world again, the two youkai decided, and jumped down as soon as the light faded around their friends. Kirara curled up on Sango's knees while Shippou tucked himself against Kagome's side, both of them falling asleep.
Far, far away in his hidden basement, Naraku cursed his bad luck.
"If only they had been merged in any other way, I would have caused their demise!" he complained to the world, who, as usual, ignored his cries.