a/n: I do not own the characters of Downton Abbey, this is purely for fun. Matthew and Thomas are my favourite paring that not many write about. Some events will be slightly altered, some timelines as well, but I try to keep most events there - even if they are cheekily redone. I am also not a WW1 expert (more of a WW2 studier) so I apologise if some things are a bit out of touch and not 100% historically correct, it's all in good fun. English is not my first language but I do try my hardest with grammar and words, I hope you will excuse any mistakes. Thanks for listening, now enjoy!

The Great War.
March 1916

"It was boring here while you took your leave" Thomas said as they were finally reunited in the safety of their dugout.

"As was it when you took your leave, where did you go?" Matthew asked from the chair where he sat, glancing over battle plans while Thomas laid in the cot and read from a book.

"I went to research" He said and took the cigarette from his mouth and then sat upright on the bed.

"Research?" Matthew raised his eyebrow at the Corporal who nodded in return.

"Did you know that, despite many still finding it immoral, sodmony is not considered a crime in the eyes of the law in the French colonies?" Thomas looked up from his book and gave Matthew a cheeky grin as Matthew seemed flustered. "Something about a privacy law, what goes on behind closed doors is your own private matter"

Thomas moved from the cot and tossed the book aside and walked over to Matthew who had drawn his attention back to the papers before him, trying not to take notice of his lover in the trenches. "So what we are doing is not illegal upon these lands" Thomas said as he sat beside Matthew on his designated chair.

Matthew mumbled something about "lord and god" to himself as his palms began sweating. Wishing he could quiet these doubts, these words in church he had heard but never paid much attention to; not until they had described him — using it as a cloak of safety from his own desires.

Thomas took Matthew's chin underneath his thumb and tilted his head up "You have never been a God-fearing man, my darling" He teased "You are a solicitor, you follow the law and evidence before you…" Thomas leaned forwards and traced his lips along Matthew's jawline and felt Matthew's entire body tremble so terribly that the table shook as well. "...or do you follow what might have been said by someone in the sky, claiming that he created us all?"

Matthew turned his head and their lips brushed together, his eyes closed and once again his heart came to a violent jolt from the mere touch of Thomas Barrow, how much longer would he deny it? Thomas gave him a gentle, sweet, kiss to the lips. "Don't fear, Matthew, I can take you lawfully as many times as you want as long as the door of the dugout is closed." He whispered

Matthew nodded and brushed their noses together but before he could steal another kiss, Thomas had already pulled away. The Corporal pulled out a cigarette and showed it between his lips that he lit before picking up the stack of playing cards that had laid on the edge of the table. He began shuffling them with a wide, cheeky, smile in Matthew's direction.

"So what did you do on your leave? More dancing with your sweetheart?" Thomas chuckled from where he sat and looked down at the ashes that had fallen upon his shirt; and lucky he did. If he hadn't he would've caught the guilt that flashed across Matthew's face.

His leave had been something rather different. His lie about Lavinia had caught up with him in London. Her father had invited him again, blessing their wishes for courting. At first it had taken Matthew aback but Mr Swire had spoken of how his friend, Captain Flintworth, had called upon his office on his own leave, speaking praise over how dignified Matthew had carried himself in speaking of his sweetheart — Mr Swire's daughter. Lavinia herself had seemed confused but happy to hear so, whispering to Matthew over dinner that she had hoped the dance would have meant something more for him too.

Matthew felt like an utter fool, it had only meant to be a lie to cover his secret meetings with Thomas, to dispel rumours. Now he found himself engaged, in the blink of an eye, he had somehow agreed to marry Lavinia — truly a sweet girl which caused Matthew even more guilt. Though here, Thomas sat joking about it without knowledge that a lie now held truth. Though, it was not all, for in London they had also promoted him to Captain; clearly the doing of Captain Flintworth once again. It should please him, to rise in rank, but it meant his removal from this trench and to another where he would serve as Captain instead of Lieutenant — and the man smoking and smiling, dealing out cards was clueless. Matthew touched his chest, his heart ached when thought of it. Oh god, Matthew thought, he had really fallen for Thomas Barrow, hadn't he?

"Was it that bad? You usually speak of your leave with excitement" Thomas raised his eyebrows at Matthew.

"Thomas, there is something you ought to know" Matthew said, the heartache remained in his chest for the words he was about to speak. What would be the easiest to hear first? His removal from this trench or his accidental promise of marriage?

Thomas looked concerned and he sat up straight, the footman posture presenting itself once more.

"I have risen in ranks, I am now a Captain" Matthew said with his breath caught in his chest. At first, it was clear that Thomas didn't understand what it meant. He just shook his head with a smile still, asking what was so bad about it? Though it was clear that he came to the realisation shortly after because his cigarette fell from his lips and there was an outrage of emotions across his face.

"Bloody hell…" Thomas said and put the cards back on the table before running a hand through his hair as he rose to his feet; pacing back and forth. He didn't know what to do with the news, this meant the removal of his merriment; Matthew would go serve in another trench — god knows where, or how far away. Thomas ran a hand over his face, his other hand resting on his hip, he spun around and glanced at Matthew.

"Thomas I al—" Matthew began but the feeling of desperate lips against his mouth cut him off. There was the taste of cigarette upon Thomas, but also salt, from tears he could clearly hear falling from the Corporal's eyes. Matthew felt his own glazing his eyes; he could not bear to speak of the engagement, not when Thomas straddled him in the chair and kissed him with such a might; a kiss that might just be their last.

Neither could speak and Thomas did not wish to do so, what he felt was something his words could not express. He would soon be alone, once more, alone with nothing but memories of the dugout. A dugout that would be taken over by another Lieutenant — another man sleeping on top of the blanket and cot stained in sweat and semen. Another Lieutenant that would sit in their chairs where their laughter would be no more and their talks would be no longer heard by no one — not even them.

Matthew, though slightly shorter than Thomas, managed to hold onto his thighs and stood up with the Corporal wrapped around him like a blanket of safety. The cot cracked beneath them, yet it held steady, as their kisses never ceased. Thomas almost prayed to God, begged him to let Matthew stay right here — but no such thing would be answered, but he was desperate. Could he even fill his heart with enough of Matthew before his departure? Thomas would at least try. He ripped Matthew's shirt open, buttons flying away, and his hand came to caress his chest, cover where Matthew's heart was pounding out of his chest. Thomas felt with his hand over Matthew's blond chest hairs, his nipples and down his stomach until his hand pushed past the waistband.

Matthew tossed his head backwards, his eyes rolled back, his pleasure was absolute and Thomas was giving it to him for one last time. It might be forceful but it didn't lack meaning. Thomas' lips kissed his neck, his collarbones, and Matthew felt Thomas' tears dribble onto his chest. The man was breaking before Matthew's eyes, breaking because a year had brought them so close, lover, friends — they truly were sweethearts of the trench.

"Let me give you a parting gift, of something you never have had before, Matthew" Thomas cracking voice spoke as his strokes slowed down. Matthew's hand came to give the raven hair a gentle tug to make Thomas finally meet his gaze. His eyes were puffy and red, the sight made Matthew Crawley weep as well, weep in a way only lovers could do for each other. His heart broke in a way it could only do if it held love. In love and war, in love and war, he repeated to himself in war, in love and war, in love….in love, the words 'in war' disappeared from his mind and all that was left was 'all is fair in love'. His heart sang it, his head whispered it and his lips spoke it.

"In love" Matthew said and, as Thomas bore his emotions on his face, Matthew thought; to hell with God, to hell with hell itself, as the trenches had brought Thomas Barrow to his heart, and it was — after all — not against the law here, in France.

Thomas removed his hand, looking flabbergasted, and his cheeks had turned bright red but there was a twitch in the corner of his lips. "What did you say?" Thomas asked, though he had heard Matthew clear as day.

"Thomas Barrow!" Matthew shouted and took the Corporal's face in his hand "The privacy of our closed door is the law of the land, don't you give me cheek while I give you my love"

Thomas laughed and brought their lips together for a kiss; his head was screaming and so was his heart. He almost could not believe what was being said — words he had only heard in his dreams of him and Matthew alone, in a world that did not diminish what they had; in dreams of his love not being one of disgust in people's eyes. Now he heard it fall from Matthew's lips while he was awake. "If I cannot give you a little bit of cheek, how am I supposed to give you my love in return?" Thomas spoke once their kiss broke. "I love you, Captain Crawley, in the trenches and beyond."

"I love you, Corporal Barrow, the footman who has grown soft in the harshness of war" Matthew said back, feeling strangely content in his heart for finally saying it out loud; for speaking of what had been brewing this entire year. Lavinia was far from his mind, at this moment in time he could not even remember that he was engaged to be wed, for Thomas Barrow had given him his love, and it was fair.

"I was supposed to give you a parting gift," Thomas said after they had laid together in the cot for a while.

"Your words, true from your heart, was not enough of a parting gift?" Matthew traced his fingers over Barrow's left hand and then brought them to his mouth to caress them with his lips.

"Not quite as profound, though I said it was something you have never had, I doubt the love of a man is also that…" Thomas shifted on the bed and laid to rest his head above Matthew's navel. "Though I didn't expect those words to fall from your lips, I am glad they did, yet I want to hear more fall from them before we part" Thomas began unbuttoning Matthew's trousers. "I cannot take you to dine and wine, but I can leave a taste in my mouth to accompany the bliss you have given my heart."

Matthew looked down at Thomas with wide, yet intrigued eyes and he gave one nod in approval. The thought of a new sensation from Thomas made him harden, and strangely enough, it was easier and more profound to feel erect after declaring his love for the former footman. Even more so when Thomas' wet mouth was felt around him. Love and pleasure, could two things be combined in such a way? When he moaned out 'I love you' from the feeling of Thomas' mouth it was clear to him that yes, it truly could be combined in ways beyond most imaginations.

With each movement of Thomas' mouth, up and down his shaft, Matthew could not help but moan those words out over and over again. Liberation tasted as sweet as it felt. Each time Thomas pulled away to press his tongue over Matthew's leaking tip, he whimpered to feel the warmth of Thomas' mouth again. His hips thrusted forwards and he gripped Thomas' hair but he stopped himself from shoving it back down Thomas' throat to feel every inch of that tongue dragging along his erection. Though it seemed as if Thomas had other plans. He placed his hand on top of Matthew's and opened his mouth wide; allowing Matthew to do exactly what he wished to do.

There was nothing stopping Matthew now with the approval of Thomas and he began to move the Corporal's head down to meet his thrusts. He did fear he was going too hard, too uncontrolled and he moaned out "T-Tell me…to stop...I shall"

"Don't stop" Thomas choked out against the cock that filled his mouth "Captain Crawley"

Matthew brought his fist to his mouth as he heard Thomas speak with his mouth full of him. He bit down on his knuckles and scrunched up his face as he kept himself from completely screaming out in pleasure. Like the night they first laid together he didn't wish to come, his orgasm would mean the end but the way Thomas felt, how he always felt, and the sight of raven hair between his legs — it was too much. His hips jolted, his toes curled, and the sweat fell from forehead and his chest. Matthew tried to pull away as he was about to release but Thomas kept his hips still and took him deep down his throat.

Matthew jerked, his upper body fell forward and his arms embraced Thomas' head, nuzzling his face into the unwashed hair; smelling the work in the trench upon it — a smell he used to hate. Then he came, and hard at that, releasing himself down Thomas' throat. His back collapsed against the wall behind him and he was panting with a smile upon his lips. "You have truly given me what I have never had before, in a thousand different ways…"

Thomas climbed up, bracing himself on his palms and their sweaty foreheads came to meet, like many times before. "And you have given me the taste of you, to linger on my lips, and each time my tongue graces over them, Mr Crawley, I hope you feel my heart yearn from you in a trench far away."

"And mine shall shout your name across enemy lines, across lands, as it will yearn for you too" Matthew was about to bring their lips together in a kiss but instead the door to the dugout was opened with such force it fell from its hold. Matthew grabbed the blanket and tossed it over Thomas who curled up underneath it, completely silent but his pounding heart.

"THE GERMANS ARE ATTACKING!" The voice shouted, who hadn't even looked inside the dugout and, from outside, Matthew and Thomas heard the guns, the screams and everything once again became real.

The man behind the voice disappeared and in a hurry the two stood up and gripped their uniforms, rushing to get back into boots and jackets. Matthew grabbed his weapons and Thomas pulled his helmet on. Before they parted, Matthew pulled Thomas into the corner by the broken door.

"Take this" He said and shoved a gun in Thomas' hand "I know field medics don't tend to carry weapons, take it — shoot any german coming close to your stretcher."

Thomas accepted it but not before the two shared a kiss they both knew, once again, could be the last they ever would. "Don't make my heart yearn over your grave" Thomas spoke before they both rushed out and into war.

The battle on no man's land felt more intense than either of the two had felt before. Thomas was crawling across the ground, searching for wounded to drag back on his stretcher. There were many with blown out faces, many screaming for their mother, limbs gone; Thomas tried to get to each one of them but more often than not their screams had died along with them before he arrived. Thomas' eyes scanned the ground, each time he crawled over it, in the hopes he would not hear Matthew screaming, or see his lifeless face amongst the fallen.

Matthew was crouched down behind a rock, bullets flying over his head, and every now and then he turned to fire his rifle in return. It was pointless, even though the battles lasted longer, both sides would end up back in their trenches with countless lives lost. In the far distance Matthew saw the silhouette of Thomas crawling through the dust to drag the wounded back. With deep breaths Matthew turned around and laid his rifle up on the rock, closing one eye and aiming as a german came charging forwards.

One down

Matthew reloaded.

Two down.

Three…

He aimed for the fourth when he felt something metal clink against his helmet and he heard a soldier shout in German while holding a gun towards Matthew's head. He closed his eyes, this would be it. In the darkness behind his eyelids he saw Thomas' laughing as they danced, he saw Thomas sitting on his cot with a cigarette.

The shot came, but he could open his eyes, the battlefield was still around him — had his love truly sent him to hell? By his side the German laid dead and behind him stood Thomas with his hand out and in it the gun given to him hours earlier. No, his love had saved him. They shared a smile but it only lasted a moment before another shot was fired.

Thomas cried out in agony and held the hand where the gun had been held, it had flung from his grip.

"THOMAS!" Matthew shouted and crawled towards the Corporal to pull him down on the ground.

Another shot came and Thomas did fall to the ground with his hand clenching his thigh.

"Please no, please no" Matthew begged as he crawled to get closer and closer to the fallen Thomas. Finally he reached him, gripping his face and sighed in relief as those grey eyes looked at him, still alive — in pain but alive. Matthew gripped Thomas by the collar of his jacket and began dragging the man he loved across the ground.

With each tug Thomas screamed in pain, he was now one of those he had tried to save. Matthew kept telling him to hold on, that it would be okay, but the blood was pouring from his leg. With a trembling hand he stuck his finger into the bullet wound, it was agony but it stopped the bleeding, if only temporarily. Thomas was flung over the edge of the trench and Matthew's frantic voice shouted for a medic.

"Look at me Thomas, Look at me" Matthew gripped Thomas white face "You will be okay, it will be okay" He didn't know who he tried to convince, Thomas or himself.

"Don't…" Thomas tried to speak.

"Don't what?" Matthew asked, trying to mask his panicked concern.

"Don't tell anyone the nasty footman saved the life…." Thomas let out a weak laugh "...of the future Earl Of Grantham, can't…" He gasped for air "...can't have people think I've grown soft."

Matthew couldn't help but laugh in return as he held Thomas' face, the cheek on this man made him smile — even in pain he could bring joy to his heart. "No one shall know just how soft my unkind footman is" Matthew said and pressed a kiss to Thomas' forehead and whispered "My Darling" then he was pulled away as stretch-bearers came rushing to Thomas' side. In a swift moment Matthew's heart was yanked away from him, not to be seen again for another year.