Welcome to my personal profile. I am SPG inc. The meaning of my site name? SPG originally came from the sitcom 'The Young Ones' which I am a fan of. It stands for Special Patrol Group, and it was the name of one of the character's hamster. I started using this name on the internet as 1. as already stated, I am a Young Ones fan and 2. SPG is actually the initials of my name. The inc. stands for 'incorporated' and I added it to my internet name because... I honestly don't remember.

Now, my interests- Video games, reading, writing, varied tastes in music and the theatre, and a gradually increasing interest in anime.

Things I hate: Alternative universe fics (why the heck would I read fan fiction if I wanted the whole thing taken out of context), Songfics (no, just no), High school AU (if I ever find out who started that one...), Sleep (it makes me feel sick). And in spite of some of my more popular fics, I'm actually not big on crossovers.

BTW, you'll be glad to know I have destroyed the generally hated Dark Comedy: Another day due to the universal dislike towards it

I've also gotten rid of the Lord of the Rings fic 'The answer to everyone's problems' as I found, after complaints, it's against the site rules to post a fic like that. Still, I would just like thank the 8 people who reviewed as it was fun to see people's reaction (though I won't forget those cowards who left unsigned reviews threatening to report me). Beware, it WILL be back some day...

Also, I've decided to delete my Doctor Who fic 'The sound of the star kraken' as the notebook where I wrote down all the plans I'd made for this story is now lost somewhere on British rail. Sorry guys; I was late for work!

And now, some sayings/quotes for my profile, which will be added to from time to time-

'Life's harsh, bad luck!'

'Blow your mind! Smoke dynamite!'

'Life is a journey. Shame about the destination.'

'When life gives you lemons, find a kid with a paper cut.'

'If everything in life is coming at you, you're in the wrong lane'

'Wish upon a star. Wish that it doesn't fall on you.'

'Weather forecast for tonight: dark.'

'Life’s a bitch, then you marry one.'

'If I want crap out of you, I'll beat it out of you.'

'Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.'

'If you think someone's better off than you, walk a hundred miles in their shoes. Then you'll be a hundred miles away from them, AND you'll have their shoes.'

'A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.'

'There's always a light at the end of the tunnel ... Fingers crossed it isn't an oncoming train.'

'Many a wise word from the mouth of a fool- but mainly unwise words; that's what they're famous for.'

'Insanity runs in my family...it practically gallops.'

'What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?'

'I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.'

'You know what 'fine' stands for, don't you? Freaked out... Insecure... Neurotic... and Emotional.'

'Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you cry no one sees your tears, sometimes when you're sad no one understands your pain, sometimes when you're happy no one sees your smile, but you just have to fart once and everyone knows?'

'Fire at will! (Poor old Will).'

'Why did the chicken cross the road? To beat up the moron telling jokes about him.'

'What doesn't kill me had better run pretty damn fast.'

'If you're one-in-a-million, there are 6,600 people just like you.'

'Have you ever thought about hamsters in the wild? I mean, what do they eat? Do they travel in packs? The way I imagine it, hamsters were once like land piranhas, capable of stripping a cow to the bone in thirty seconds.'

'I wish my lawn was an emo, then it would cut itself.'

'Never take life seriously- Nobody gets out alive anyway.'

'Make love, not sense.'

'Comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable.'

'If you love someone, set them free! If they don't come back, hunt them down and kill them.'

'When you talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.'

'People are like slinkies- basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down stairs.'

'Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its Super- oh wait, its a bird...'

'You cannot burn me; I'm already on fire.'

'May I please borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye.'

' 'He who must not be named' must be named.'

'I put an extension on my extension, so my house is in a circle now.'

'Sanity is for the weak.'

'Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.'

'Teachers are professionals. Parents are the worst people for bringing up children.'

'What if the real Slim Shady is in a wheelchair?'

'If a picture speaks a thousand words, why is TV an invention for fools?'

'Please, with C...'

'Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives.'

'Trying to torture information out of a masochist is singularly unproductive.'

'Don't diet- fat people are harder to kidnap.'

'I'm going to punch your face... IN THE FACE!"

'An Irishman went to get a job with the blacksmith. The blacksmith asked 'Have you any experience in shoeing horses?' The Irishman said 'No, but I once told a donkey to fck off.'

'Silence is golden... in other words, shut up.'

'My day is not complete until I have terrified a complete stranger.'

'To those who say the glass is half full, I say FINISH YOUR DAMN DRINK!'

'I'd live my life in the fast lane, but I'm married to a speed bump.'

'Well it started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle & the less said about the end the better, but apart from that, excellent.'

'Chekhov's rifle or Pachelbel's canon?'

'I don't mind if you don't like me- we can't all have good taste.'

'What stays the same in Paris? The river- its always the Seine.'