Title: Two Secret Words
Rating: T
Summary: Gwen gives Ben some advice about his love life. Inspired by the episode "Benwolf" but takes place after Alien Force. BxG.
A/N 2021: This was originally part of the 100 Ben x Gwen Drabble Challenge. Thanks to my friend pikachu master for letting me know that the Challenge has been removed from FFN. I'm re-posting this in case anyone still wants to read it.
Original A/N from 2009: This story idea has been floating around in my head for a while, but I never bothered to write it down until now. Since I've been having writer's block on the drabble I was planning to submit for the 100 BxG Drabble Challenge, I came up with this instead. :) It turned out to be a whole lot angstier than I had anticipated, but I still like it.
"Gwen… remember what you told me after Kai Green rejected me?"
She stared at him blankly.
"You told me, 'Two secret words are all you need to know,'" he reminded her.
"Oh… yeah, I remember."
"So what are they?"
Gwen looked surprised for a moment, then smiled.
"I thought you would have figured that out by now," she said teasingly.
He shook his head ruefully. "Why would I be asking you if I'd already figured it out for myself?"
"Good point."
She scrutinized him for a moment, as though she could read his every thought if she only tried hard enough. Ben shifted uncomfortably.
"The two words are 'Be yourself,'" she finally said.
"That's it? Be yourself?" he asked incredulously.
"That's it," she confirmed.
She caught his look of disappointment.
"Well, what were you expecting?"
"I don't know," he confessed. He wasn't exactly sure what he had been expecting.
"It's not a magic formula."
"I know."
"It's not even really a secret."
"I guess not."
He pondered her words.
Be yourself.
It was so simple, and yet so difficult. For him, it was nearly impossible.
He felt troubled. How could he ever just be himself? The whole world knew him as Ben Tennyson, the hero with the Omnitrix. He constantly felt pressured to live up to that image. Everyone always wanted something from him, and he couldn't disappoint them.
He gave it everything he had, but he often felt like it would never be enough. He was always left dissatisfied. No matter how many heroic acts he performed, he couldn't escape the niggling doubt in the back of his mind that without the Omnitrix, he was nothing. No one. Just another regular kid. No one special.
It terrified him. It was why he had to keep trying so hard to prove himself. As a hero, people loved and respected him. They believed in him.
And he needed that.
Because deep down he feared that no one would ever love and accept him for who he really was.
He was so weak in his human form. He liked himself better when he was an alien hero. Any alien hero. When he was in alien form, he didn't have to face the insecurities that plagued him.
Who would ever want him for he really was, when he didn't even like himself?
It all came down to that. He could never truly be happy unless he could learn to love himself.
He'd tried so hard to win everyone's approval, and he had legions of adoring fans, but it had only left him feeling empty.
What was the point of trying to impress people he didn't even know? What did it matter if they worshipped him?
They didn't know anything about him. They didn't know the real Ben Tennyson.
Did he even know who he really was anymore?
The loneliness he felt was almost paralyzing. He'd give it all up in a heartbeat to have one person who truly understood him, who loved and accepted him for him.
But that terrified him as well. How could he give up being a hero when it defined the core of his identity?
It wasn't fair. It was easy for Gwen. Her powers were a part of her. They didn't come from alien technology. They couldn't be taken away from her.
She could always be herself without having to worry about whether people would like her if she didn't have powers.
He envied her that.
Gwen was so self-assured, so comfortable with herself. She even made him feel at ease.
And then it hit him…
He could be himself with her. She was the only one who made him feel that way. He didn't have to pretend when he was with her.
Why hadn't he ever realized that before? It seemed so obvious now.
Gwen was always right there beside him. So loyal, so patient and loving.
He understood now. She'd been trying to tell him all along that he was worthy of love – of her love – and that she loved him just the way he was.
She smiled at him, her expression filled with gentle affection, and he felt warm all over.
Maybe it wasn't so difficult after all…
To just be himself.
~The End~