Dying Sucks

by JHalv

So I died and instead of going to heaven or hell I get reborn as a baby in a "fantasy world" sounds cool right, problem is I'm born into AoT

6. Unexpected Feelings

It was dark. Not even an inch of light could be seen through the darkness. It was honestly worrying for the handful of occupants trapped inside, they couldn't move and couldn't speak, all they could do was stare into the abyss.

Suddenly a beam of light shone from the ceiling, illuminating just a spot on the wooden floor, but even then nothing appeared to be in view. Suddenly a hand made itself known, making its fingers dance in the air, wiggling its way further into the light before an arm came into the fold. Making erratic movements as if it was a snake, before returning into the darkness taking the hand along with it.

Everything was still for the better part of five seconds before, a figure in a cloak moonwalked its way into the light. It was slow and choppy, but a moonwalk nonetheless. Once the figure was bathed in the light, they did a little twirl of their cloak letting the fabric fly with the wind.

Please ignore that there was no wind.

Clapping their hands, the person did a bow before the silenced audience. "Welcome! Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to my show! Now some of you may be wondering what show this is and I'll be happy to tell you! This is where I, your host, will be doing anything that I please to do for my very own entertainment. Of course, many of you have already witnessed my spectacles and have been rendered mute because of it, so if you all don't wish to have the same fate I suggest you leave by taking the exit. Which is the door towards the back." The host pointed towards the back of the room, where the only indication of there being an escape was the slight glint of hinges. But even then the captive people were unable to move.

The host waited for a few seconds, and when none moved, they did a little twirl picking up a walking cane from outside the borders of the light.

"Fantastic! I am overjoyed that you all decided to stay and watch me! Really warms my heart, y'know? Anyhow, prepare to get your panties and boxers blown away for I will be performing 'S&M' by Rihanna! Yes, the name is unknown, but I never expected you all to have heard of it! After all, how could you!? It took me weeks to remember!" The host cackled, bringing up the cane to their lips where a twisted grin rested.

The host stopped talking for a few seconds. Soon what filled the emptiness of the room was the slight tappings of their leather shoes, making a pleasant beat vibrate in the air.

"Feels so good being bad."

"There's no way I'm turning back."

"Now the pain is for pleasure."

"Cause nothing can measure."

"Love is great, love is fine."

"Out the box, outta line."

"The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more."

"Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it."

"Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones."

"BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME-"

"J?"

"Fuck!" Singing stopped. Momentum halted. Fight or flight activated. Rushing towards my desk I disregarded my cape throwing it into the abyss. Frantically I searched along the top, letting my fingers skirmish the maple wood until they felt the small stick of matches scattered about. In an instant I rushed around the room, lighting the wall candles that adorned my walls. And what they revealed was my Father leaning on the door frame, arms crossed and a bewildered look on his face.

"Papa?! I mean...Hey Papa...how's it going?"

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. "...What were you doing?" He finally asked. I couldn't bring myself to speak, much rather kick the dust at my feet. Hey, that rhymes, if only I had the enthusiasm to show my joy.

"...J what the hell were you doing?" He persisted.

I ignored his question. "I thought you and Mama were going into town?"

"I forgot my wallet. Now, what the hell were you doing?"

"Nothing." I said.

Papa raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"..."

My shoulders slumped. "...How much did you see?"

"Didn't see much but heard a lot. Like since the beginning."

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Please don't speak of this."

"Are you joking? I'm going to tell everyone."

I felt like crying, I could already feel my reputation falling into the wishing well. "...Why are you cruel to me?"

Father just raised his other eyebrow...Fair point...Well, I guess this memory is going to haunt me for the rest of my years, joy.

"Now answer my question: what the hell were you doing?" I mumbled some gibberish that was far too quiet to hear.

"What was that?" Father questioned.

Sighing, I resigned myself to my fate. "I was performing a show to my audience."

"Audience?" He questioned. "What audience?" I pointed my finger to the corner of the room.

"The stuffed animals?" He asked, uncrossing his arms to scratch the side of his head.

OI! "They're not just any stuffed animals! They are the pinnacles of the entertainment industry! Creatures that won the hearts of men, women, and children alike!"

"A lizard, a monkey, another type of lizard, and a man with a type of mask."

"Put some respect on Zilla, Kong, Rex, and Jason….And...Well, their glory years are a bit behind them, I'll admit." Of the many things that I miss from my old home, it would be the cinematic icons of Godzilla, King Kong, Jurassic Park, and Jason Vorhees...I wish I could watch the movies again.

"Never heard of them."

"You're just not cultured." Father shook his head with a chuckle.

"..."

"..."

"...So chains and whips excite-"

I pointed my cane at his throat. "Weren't you supposed to be on a date with Mama?"

"Yeah." He redirected the weapon away from him. "Just came to get my wallet, remember?" Oh yeah. Guess the newfound trauma and rage is messing with my memory.

Although I couldn't help but question him. "Don't know how you forgot it. These days you're so paranoid about wherever you put it."

Now Father looked sheepish. "Well, your Mother was distracting me." Unconsciously, he licked his lips.

I froze. He froze.

"..."

"..."

I stomped my way over to the trash can in the corner of the room and shoved two fingers down the back of my throat. Three minutes later I was wiping the excess vomit from my mouth "You're sick."

"Are you really telling me that after forcing yourself to vomit?" The cane dangerously close to his crotch forced him to drop the subject. "Love you too pal."

"Don't you have a wallet to find?" I snapped.

"Right. Thanks for the reminder." He stepped out of my room and went off into the hall.

"Hmmm." Grunting, I followed after him. The faster we find his wallet, the faster I can unleash my fury on a fucking pillow.

...I have grown more angered. The damn piece of leather was resting on the floor right next to my door frame. The only reason why Father didn't see it was because he is a perverted idiot that deserves to be castrated with salt rubbed in his wound and because the shadows of the house were hiding the wallet.

Snatching it up, I stomped my way over to Father. He was looking inside one of the kitchen cabinets. "Catch."

No, I didn't purposefully aim for his head. And yes it was a bullseye.

Rubbing his head, Father shot me a quick glare, only to grin when he looked at the large amount of funds his wallet was hiding. "Man. With so many people asking for homes to be built it's nice just to go out in the town with your Mother." He said.

"Me not included?"

He nodded without hesitation. "You not included."

"Understandable."

He chuckled. "But yeah, with the operation still a work in progress the government is breathing down my neck. Keep on asking when the company will finish. Honestly, it drives me mad." Me and you both. You and Mother have no idea how many government officials I've had to kick from our doorstep just so that they could stop nagging. Although that might've just been the milkman on a few occasions. But then again milkmen are not to be trusted.

...Right...I need to explain what I'm talking about, correct?

The Culling didn't happen. Surprise, surprise. Due to me buying enough time for the people of Shiganshina to escape, around 99.009% of the population managed to survive the encounter. With the other .001% being those unfortunate enough to die by falling debris and the breaking of the wall, along with the soldiers that tried to fight off the titans. However, that was only the population of Shiganshina.

For the people of Wall Maria and the other three districts news came fast of the titans' attack from the hundreds of messengers that survived the breach. It took all but a week for everyone to evacuate to Wall Rose, but even then thousands of people died. While the numbers are unclear it is reported that over 20,000 died to the titans or around just less than 1% of the population.

But it was far better than 250,000 dying to retake the walls.

Sadly the government still tried to enact the culling, announcing a plan to retake the Walls with the sick and elderly being those that were required to go. But due to the vast number of Eldians that survived, they were able to see through the bullshit and the plan was met with an outrageous number of protests and riots that often escalated to brawls and fights with soldiers, mainly the Garrison and the Military Police. It wasn't uncommon for a few people to die when these things happened, mainly the protesters but even then some unfortunate soldier did lose their life to the chaos.

However, the government was still adamant about sending their people outside of the walls to their deaths.

Or were until they were attacked themselves.

On August 23, 846. Just a few weeks before the culling plan was enacted, the walls of Wall Sina were breached, not by titans but by the people of Wall Rose and Maria alike. This event was now known as the People's Breach. They stormed through the Stohess District by the hundreds, marching through the streets, causing vandalism, demolition, and assault on any that they came across. The majority of the Military Police, unsure of what to do, retreated towards Sina, abandoning the Garrison. It wasn't long until the rioters overwhelmed the Garrison, and forced the gate to open to Wall Sina.

Unfortunately what awaited them was potentially hundreds of Military Police that were itching to pull their trigger fingers. A call for peace was called but the rioters still were adamant that the culling was to never happen. A stalemate was met, that grew tenser with every passing second.

However, what the MP didn't expect was for the other three gates district gates to open as well. From there, hundreds also charged into the capital of Mitras. In their fear the MP didn't take account of any other variable any other attacks, simply assuming that there was only one breach they had gathered all of their forces to the Stohess district gate, leaving the other three all but abandoned.

Due to the panic and frankly shit training the MP received, they did the only thing that came into their frantic minds...Shoot. No one knows which soldier shot the first bullet because all that people recall was that a teenager fell to the ground...dead.

Hell came after.

People began to run, shout, and fight. All stampeding at the MP, fueled by fury. These are the people that they had to rely on? These are the people that are supposed to protect them? These are the people they should trust? These murderers are humanity's saviors? Unacceptable!

What happened next was a battle that lasted only a few minutes, but it was long enough for it to become bloody. It got to the point that the MP equipped with maneuver gear was forced to escape to the sanctuary of the king's walls, abandoning those that weren't so lucky to the mob. On the top of the king's walls, the MP was forced to bear the sight of thousands wishing for their blood, rioting outside of the king's gates.

Mitras was a mess for the next three days as the rioters took refuge on the streets. Refusing to leave the capital unintended, rioting until they got what they wished: the nullification of the culling.

A week after the gates of Sina were breached, the government was forced to call off the culling. In the end, ninety-six were pronounced dead -a mix of soldiers and civilians-, with more than five hundred injured. Yet despite their losses, people celebrated on the streets, shouting and dancing to whatever beat was available. They were happy that none of their loved ones would have to die. If anything the only thing that they would die to was getting stuffed full with food and drink.

A very bad idea.

We started to notice it a few weeks after the celebrations died down. But slowly the prices for vegetables started to rise. People at first thought nothing of it simply assuming that it would soon return to their normal prices after a while. Although it was very bothersome when drinks such as wine practically shot up. But once again, no one thought anything of it.

The prices were never lowered.

Around 1.2 million people were living inside the two remaining walls, and sadly Wall Maria was where all the major farming and cattle operations were held at. Wall Rose and Sina had barely any such things, the best you could get was the small farming villages in Rose, and the private farms that belonged to the rich. And there was not enough food that they would've been able to provide to the rest...But they were forced to. They were given a surge of workers from Wall Maria hoping to help, and while the vast numbers were a great help the amount of food they were able to produce could only provide a plate of food for less than 900 thousand people a day.

Slowly but surely, the cost of food began to climb higher and higher all the while disappearing from stores and markets alike. At this point, meat was a rare find, and if it was found it would be at an impossible price to buy. But people could still manage without meat, even if the prices of veggies were a bit concerning.

Then their prices skyrocketed.

A loaf of bread, something that you could find at the nearest baker, came to a price almost unimaginable: 20 funds...the average person gets paid 2600 funds a month.

...We were forced to face what I could only call a Great Depression.

People started to hoard up their precious supplies of food, storing them in their houses, basically taking and stealing any food from within stores. This led to businesses running out of supplies fast, and the people didn't take too kindly to thieves, as by this point every coin meant something of value. Often at times, families would end up starving in the streets, as scraps of food became the same as a five-course meal. This culmination of fears and anger led the poor to turn their frustrations towards the rich, who were hiding in their mansions, tables filled with chicken and pork with on treys of rice and salads.

Only that the rich had no such things. No one was safe from this depression. Especially the rich who were mainly made up of merchants, who suffered greatly when food became scarce. They lost their credibility and reputation, as their connections went dry and debt piled up, the rich soon joined the poor on the streets, their fancy mansions and acres of land forgotten.

The government was barely holding onto its power with such vast shortages of food, the people began to treat them as scapegoats. They didn't forget what they tried to plan with the culling. So early on the government was put into a very negative light. The only saving grace was that the Garrison were sharing their supplies, making food centers in the town's districts, where hundreds of hungry citizens would wait for hours just for the chance of a stale bag of rations. It got to the point where more people were living in the streets rather than in homes.

Seeing hundreds of people living on the streets; the homeless did absolutely nothing to boost morale.

The government at this point was desperate. They feared the overthrow of their power, so instead of focusing on themselves, they decided to try to help the vast majority of troubled people. How? By making homes and jobs under a single company...Specifically my Fathers.

The scouts took notice that while the lift had fallen, it was only due to the cables having 'snapped', the lumber on top of the wall was miraculously unscratched, having survived the damage that the colossal titan had left. For some reason, this earned the admiration of the government, so they put the task of building homes into my Father's reluctant hands. But he was able to get the job done.

What my Father first did with the newly acquired resources was hire a multitude of people, but even with all the funded money that the government had given there was still not enough to cover the paychecks of all the new hires. So my Father gave a proposition to the government that they were more or less forced to agree if they wanted the operation to work.

For three months no new hires will be given a paycheck, but they will be built a home that they won't have to pay for the entirety of six months after they gain their home.

Basically, no one would be paid for three months, as the first hundreds of houses were being built during that time. But after they get a home, they can live rent-free for six months. Enough time for them to save some money. It was a massive success, especially when the Church of the Walls decided to get involved by providing a bowl of food for every worker. They gained a lot of followers as a result.

So in two years, there were enough homes to provide for most of the refugee population. As a result, my family has quite a fortune. Yet we still live in Wall Rose with the rest of our friends. Reason being that my Father and I find the people from Sina insufferable.

However there are still many homes that are still being built, and homeless families are still quite common throughout the streets. My Father believes that in another year or two the operation will be finished. However, the military has seen the success that my Father had created, so with the government's permission, Premier Dhalis Zachary and his selected few were able to hold a meeting with my Father and his selected associates.

Father was shitting bricks before he left.

When Father returned he said that the military is interested in combining forces with the company to produce inventions beneficial to them. And Father decided that it was too good of a chance for his company to pass, so a few months later in some private territory in Wall Sina, the first annual convention for Humanities Inventions of Survival had begun. Otherwise known as the H.I.S. convention.

I sadly wasn't able to go because I was having a -unknown- gang war. But it was nice for Mother and Father to give me some souvenirs. Specifically, a mug that said: H.I.S. Mug...yeah I fell in love with the thing.

...Oh. It appears Father was snapping his fingers in front of my face for the last minute, and I've just now barely noticed. The embarrassment.

"Back from your daydream?" Father teased.

"No. I'm still stuck in a parallel universe where I'm a giant."

He blinked owlishly. "Did I raise you to be this weird?"

"You raised me to be awesome...This is just my own take."

"Whatever you say." Father drawled, already on the way out the front door.

"Have fun!" I called.

"Thanks, bud! You have fun too! With your stuffed...icons?"

"Cultural Representations of the entertainment industry! And I was but you ruined the mood for me!" I shouted. Father just waved back at me without another word...ass. Closing the front door, I locked it and began to head back to my room. However, an uncomfortable itch was nagging at the back of my mind. What was it trying to tell me? Meh. Maybe sleeping on it will help me.

Inside my room, I kicked at the Jason knock-off, before promptly throwing myself onto my bed. Taking the pillow from under the covers, I hugged it with a snug grip. Relaxing, I let my mind drift into the darkness of sleep...Suddenly I recalled the image of Father licking his lips…

I sprang from my bed, sprinting out of my room -knocking the rest of the icons- I rushed my way down the hall and towards the door. With frantic quickness, I struggled to unlock the door, but when I did I forced it with all my might. Running onto the street I screamed. "OI! DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MAMA!"

Agonizingly, Charles was nowhere in sight. I should've hit him in the balls earlier.

/A Few Hours Later/

"Back already?" Opening the door, I stepped to the side allowing Mother to walk in. She was carrying several bags in her hands -around six or so- all of varying sizes and different clothing brands.

"Yep!" She chirped, her face glowing -I felt a part of my soul die-, closing the door behind her, I began to take the bags off of Mother's arms, struggling just a bit to loop my arms through the handles of the bag. Mother kissed me on the forehead as a sign of thanks before beckoning me to carry the bags over to her room.

Hmmm, where's the bastard? "Where's Papa?" I questioned.

Mother opened the door to her room, allowing me to walk inside and place her bags on her king-size bed. "Well, when we were on the way back one of his workers found us and said that he had a meeting he was late for. Your poor Father was so excited about our date that he forgot he had a meeting with Commander Erwin at five! Oh, that lovable fool!" She swooned.

Ignoring her love-sick antics. "Commander Erwin? What would the two of them have to discuss? I thought that Father only dealt with the Garrison, and Military Police?" I said, taking her clothes out of her bags, I admired the designs for a bit, deciding whether or not to fold them or hang them up.

Mother handed me a hanger. "I thought so too. But if I had to have any idea it would be because Captain Erwin would be interested in the new equipment that your Father was working on."

"The motored wagon?" Or in modern terms, a car. Yeah, it was only a month or two before the H.I.S. convention but Fathers company managed to incorporate an engineering branch. I don't really know the specifics but it was mainly due to a surge of new hires having skills in machinery. At first, Father had no idea what to do with the new branch, but I may have 'influenced' him a bit...

Mother nodded, taking the price tag off of a fluffy wool sweater. "Maybe. When your Father released the plan for its development, many people from the military and all over the walls were so very interested in the idea. I've already told you this before but you should've seen the number of people during the convention. And if I had to think why Captain Erwin took such an interest in it...well, horses do get tired and scared. It's probably led to many of his soldiers dying before." Mother isn't just a housewife, she's Father's unofficial advisor. Yeah, it was a surprise to me as well. While she isn't employed Father doesn't make any decision with the input of his loving wife. It is oddly sweet.

In my thoughts, Mother must've mistaken my silence. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring down the mood." She apologized.

I shook my head. "No you didn't bring it down...just made it more interesting."

"Interesting?"

"Oh, sorry." I apologized. "Was that too cruel a way to phrase it?"

"No. It's just surprising to see you take an interest in anything that doesn't involve the other three...and violence."

I shrugged. What could I say? I turned my head to look at the clock hanging over the bedroom window, seeing that it was only five minutes left until it was three.

Welp, now I know what to say. "I'm going to go see Uncle Grisha!" I said.

"Oh? What's the occasion?" Mother asked, still putting some clothes on hangers.

"Apparently he's going to show me and Eren some cool tricks with 'the power of science' or so he says." I said. Walking into the living room, I put on my shoes that were left by the front door.

"Power of science? Sounds exciting." She said.

"Yep. Anyhow, I'll be going now, I'll be back later in the day."

"Okay! Be careful honey!" She called.

"Yeah, I will!..." Before I left, I turned back and called out. "Hey, Mama…"

"Yes?" She responded from her room.

"Can you and pa make some time for me later? I need to talk to both of you."

"Of course!" She cheered. "What do you need to ask? I may be able to help you now."

"Nah. It's probably best if the two of you are here."

Mother was quiet for a moment. "...Ok then. I'll tell your Father when he comes home from work."

"Thank you."

I closed the front door. And hopped down the steps of my wooden porch. The sun was peeking from behind some clouds. I don't think that it's going to rain today, but it might tomorrow. And while it wasn't sunny there was still a pleasant heat that hit my face. It was a bit chilly. The August air was cold enough that it was able to give me a few shivers but wouldn't warrant the need for a jacket.

Running down the last few steps, I ran up to the metal gate that separated my home from the street. It was only five feet tall at most, so with a harsh grunt, I leaped over it, just barely missing the pointed ends that were on the top. Kicking up a slight amount of dust from my landing, I took in a deep breath relishing the feeling of the cold burning my throat.

Jogging down the left side of the road, passing by the various houses that seemed to tower over the roads. I avoided the people that mingled on the streets. But eventually, it got irritating to not knock over anyone, so with a quick jump and a hop I was running on the rooftops of tiled homes.

A few minutes later I was standing in front of a quaint little building somewhere between the outskirts and the middle of town. It was only a story tall, with a sloped roof that was dwarfed in size by the buildings next to it, that only gave it enough space to form small alleys at the sides. There was a sign attached to a pole in front of the shop's door that read 'Eld's Clinic'.

I stared at an alley for a bit...

Opening the door, a bell chimed my entry. "Morning, Uncle. Morning Eren." I greeted, waving my hand at the two. Uncle Grisha was at his counter looking over some papers, while Eren was busy eating some pancakes on one of the couches in the lobby.

"Good morning, J." Uncle Grisha said, not taking his eyes off the papers. Eren waved at me, busy stuffing his face.

"So are we ready to go?" I asked Grisha.

He stared at me from the corners of his eye. "Quite."

"Cool." I took a deep breath. "Hey, Eren. Don't you think that Uncle Grisha has some pretty weird things in these jars?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "If anything they're kind of awesome. I saw a rat skull in one of them." Uncle Grisha ignored my pointed stare by polishing his glasses.

"Really? You remember which jar it was in?"

"I think it was by the ledge? Let me check." Finishing the last of his breakfast, Eren stood from his seat and began walking to-

"Frogs!"

"Huh?" That was all Eren could say before, he became unconscious.

Uncle Grisha started at me holding up a jar filled with gummies that looked like frogs. I lowered the weapon back to its original place.

"...Frogs?" He questioned.

"A perfect onomatopoeia, if I do say so myself."

Uncle Grisha just shook his head. Going to behind his counter he opened up a drawer and took off a fake panelboard so that he could grab a single key. Walking around his counter, he began to make his way towards the door that separated the lobby and the hallway. In the meantime, I slugged Eren over my back, just in time to hear the door squeak open and for Uncle Grisha to disappear.

Following behind I took note that all the wall candles were put out, casting the hall in darkness only brightened out by the shred of light from the lobby that peeked its way in. I closed the door, watching as the hall became pitch black.

There was no need for me to see anyway since all I had to do was go straight and take the only left available to find Uncle Grisha opening the basement hatch, before walking down its steps. At the bottom, he unlocked the door leading to the basement, disappearing inside.

Following him, I placed Eren on a small bed cart that was placed into the corner of the room. Adjusting Eren into a more comfortable position the mattress gave a few squeaks from its springs. It was an old thing, or if anything it was unused. But it was comfortable.

The basement wasn't overly big if anything it was the size of a garage, but then again that was all it needed to be useful. In the far-end corners of the room, there were multiple shelves filled with books and scientific journals, most of them notes that Uncle Grisha had written. And across from them was a lab table that acted as a desk -when I wasn't performing surgery on Uncle Grisha-, and multiple doctor utensils and pencils covering the top, being little details for the amazing amount of papers that were scattered about. Looking a bit closer it seemed that they were all notes involving titans, with detailed drawings of the nine along with those outside of the walls. There were even some notes about the anatomy of an Eldian, mainly surrounding their napes but even then there were some pages that had to do with the body.

I was actually the 'test subject' for these notes.

The rest of the room was sort of bland as there was only a single chest that Grisha had on the other end of the room where he stored some drugs -failures included-, and anesthesia. But other than the bed cart and the lanterns that covered the walls, there was nothing else in the room.

Uncle Grisha was rummaging through his desk until he finally pulled a vial from the mess of papers. Inside of it was a yellow gaseous liquid that seemed to jiggle around its confinement. "You got it all?" I asked.

Uncle Grisha stared at the small piece of glass with narrow eyes. "...Yes. Yes, I do." I think he might be a little nervous…I would be too considering that this thing might be volatile enough to be a nuke if it was to be lit on fire. Maybe.

"Wow…So that's your spine?"

"Yes."

"Not gonna lie, that's a bit disgusting." I admitted. The thing looked chunky. Like vomit or sludge.

"You saw me cut myself open, matter of fact you were the one that cut me open on that table without as much as one complaint. And yet you find the liquidized remains of my spine in a container no bigger than my finger to be much more gruesome?"

"I wouldn't say gruesome...Just weird."

"Unbelievable."

"I mean how many other spines have you seen in a jar?"

"...Touche." He conceded. Uncle Grisha placed the vial into my hands. Turning his back to walk towards a drawer at the table, I gave the vial a quick shake watching the liquid slosh around the container -I think it just bubbled-. Uncle didn't see me, more focused on finding whatever he needed until he pulled out a hand-sized ebony case.,

Walking back to me, Uncle took the container once more and walked a bit away so that he could place the vial down on his desk. "Can you bring Eren to me, please?" He asked, opening the ebony case, he took out a syringe with a long needle. Nodding, I went over to my unconscious friend and started to push his bed cart. The thing was a bit wobbly.

Uncle Grisha stuck the needle into the formula, watching as the liquid was sucked in. Once the formula was all trapped inside, he gave the glass chamber a little flick. If anything just to confirm that it wasn't explosive.

Placing the syringe down, Uncle went to the bed and under the mattress began to unfold leather straps that were hidden under the mattress. "You understand the procedure, correct?" He asked as he gave me a strap.

I nodded while fastening Eren's arms to the cart's railing. "Yep. stick the needle in his neck and hope I don't kill him."

"No."

"I know, I know. Just joshing you."

Uncle tightened the strap on Eren's legs. "Well, please stop. The time for jokes is over."

"Sorry." I said.

We worked in silence, putting the last straps on Eren before I asked. "Were you able to separate the Attack and Founding Titans?" What to do with the Founding Titan was something that both Uncle and I thought over for a time. Should we leave it in Eren's hands? Or just leave it with Grisha? Or maybe give it to me...We never did reach a conclusion, because we never knew how we would be able to separate the two. At first, we would've thought that we would've been able to trace the two titans in his spine, but when we first extracted the bone from Uncle's neck we had no idea how the hell we would've been able to extract either of the titans from a bone. We then thought that if possible we could extract one from spinal fluid but Uncle thought that it would've been the equivalent of removing oil from water...yet possible. But we discussed this months ago and I've been out of the loop for a bit.

Uncle paused for a moment, before finishing binding Eren's torso to the mattress. "...It is a peculiar matter." He admitted, finishing the last strap he began to walk over to his lab table. "In the beginning, we tried to separate the two, but despite our actions and experiments, we just couldn't seem to remove the Founding from the Attack. But it's only just recently that our oil and water theory proved to be successful, but I've found that I couldn't remove the Attack."

Going over to the table I stared at the multiple papers, noticing that some of the drawings were about a liquid, with paragraphs worth of details scribbled underneath the images. It honestly reminded me of a symbiote without a host.

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, I was able to trace the two powers within my spinal fluid. I'll spare you the details. When I tried to separate the attack the fluid seemed to stick together. And not like a sticky paste but if anything more like sticky water. It was as if the Attack was clinging on to the Founding. This is astonishing considering that the Attack not only because it values freedom above all else, but if and for it to just go back so brazenly to the Founding as if it was a child sticking to its Mother...it's shocking, to be frank." Uncle pursed his lips.

"...I don't think that this would make sense but what if the Attack is trying to go back home?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, the Attack fights for its freedom. So what if its freedom resides in that of the Founding? Like what if it's just fighting against the world so that it could return home?" ...It sounded better in my head.

"...A good theory to be sure, but it just doesn't make sense if you understand what I'm trying to say." Just say that it's a dumb theory, that might be influenced by the thoughts of me being homesick...Damn, I should really try and see a therapist. Not sure how they would help me though.

"Yeah. I didn't get what I was talking about either. Just sort of rambled."

"I understand." You probably have monologues, don't you? Science talk I would presume?

"Alright Eren, time for your vaccine...Hope you don't get any side effects as a result. Like turning into a zombie or something." Uncle looked confused. "I meant titan."

"Hopefully." He muttered.

It took Uncle Grisha a few seconds to get the precision down to the exact spot. And he might've taken a few more seconds to gather his courage. But in one fluid motion, he pricked the needle into the side of Eren's neck.

Pumping the last of the formula, Uncle removed the needle. All was calm for a minute.

Eren began to sweat and groan. "It's okay buddy. It's okay." I tried to reassure him. Caressing his hair, I accidentally touched his forehead...it was boiling hot...It was getting hotter too.

"Grisha!" I called, worried.

He had a notepad in his hands, scribbling furiously. "Don't worry, it's all going good." Really now? Because you don't sound too fucking sure!

Eren started to shake in his restraints, his throat flexed showing bulging veins. "Grisha!"

"Almost there."

Eren's right arm broke through the straps, his arm enlarging with so much twitching muscle that it looked like it was going to explode from his body. "Fucking hell! Grisha!"

"It's alright!" How is this fucking okay?!

Eren suddenly stilled, his arm somehow receding back to his previous state. The relief that coursed through my body was indescribable...but Eren was unnaturally still. Rushing to his side I checked his pulse, ignoring the searing pain that burned my fingers, desperately searching for the faintest thump.

A devastating terror grew inside me...I couldn't feel anything.

/-/

"Damn, this is boring." Hannes groaned. He and several other soldiers were hard at work cleaning the cannons on top of the walls. They had already cleaned more than a dozen in the past two hours. And while the sun wasn't blaring down on them, it was still far too hot to be working like this in their full gear.

"Tell me about it." Hugo groaned, cleaning the inside of the cannon with a blackened rag.

"Man, I miss those old days where we could just drink while on duty." Derick mumbled, taking a sip of water from his canteen, before passing it to Alex.

"Right. How long has it been since we could ever do something like that? Two years? Three years?" Alex asked.

"Three." Hannes answered. "Last time was the day the walls were breached."

Alex snapped his fingers. "Right. After that, the military kicked us into overdrive. Didn't get any better after the People's Breach."

"Hell. The moment my scar healed, I was forced into that new training program the Garrison had made." Hugo added, scratching his side.

"Still don't know how you survived the Armored." Hannes said.

"Was probably the old fat cushioning me." Hugo chortled. The others all shared a quick laugh.

Once Hannes controlled his chuckles, he sighed. "Damn, time flies by fast."

Derick nodded, "Yeah, my kid is already able to walk now. It seemed like it was only a couple of weeks back where my wife was nagging at me to get her some treats for her cravings."

Hannes rubbed the back of his head. "Already? Shit, I'm getting old."

"Weren't you already?" Alex teased. The other two laughed, while Hannes grumbled snatching the canteen of water from Alex.

"Laugh it up, you bastards." Taking a swig, Hannes let out a sigh. Content.

"...You ever know what happened to those four kids." Derick questioned.

"What kids?"

Derick scratched his chin. "Ahhh, the brat with the anger issues and his friends. Y'know the one that used to 'bully' you."

"Eren's group? Yeah all four of them are just fine, growing up faster than I realize. All of them are about twelve I think?"

"Oh? They still talk to you?" Hugo asked.

Hannes nodded his head. "Yeah, I see them from time to time. Normally happens when I'm not on duty though."

Derick smiled. "Really? That's nice to hear, they all still act the same? Don't really remember their mannerisms and the like."

"Yeah. They're pretty much all the same. Eren still throws tantrums. Mikasa's still quiet. Armin still likes to read those books of his. And J...well…" Hannes scratched his stubble. "I don't know what to think about that kid."

"What? Don't like him?" Alex raised a dark brow. He hadn't interacted with the four of them in the past. Sure he's seen them from time to time. Laughed at their antics. But never had a conversion with them. So he was in the dark.

"Nah I like him fine and all…" Hannes hummed thoughtfully. "But I just can't help but feel off when I'm near him."

"You sure you aren't being biased?" Hugo said. "I mean he liked to prank the shit out of us back then. The little shit. Maybe it's paranoia?"

Hannes waved off the question. "Nah, that ain't it...it's just that he doesn't feel like a kid. Hell, when I first met him I thought he was the adult out of the two of us."

"What you were scared?" Alex teased.

"No...But when I was speaking to him I felt insignificant." Hannes admitted. "And it's weird too, I remember that we were talking about a bakery across the street, arguing which doughnut was best. It was a stupid conversation...And yet I couldn't help but feel like there was more going on." The three of them were silent, mulling over his words.

"Like?" Alex inquired.

"Like that kid was determining me." Hannes said. "My character."

"Seems a little far-fetched don't you think?" Alex said.

"That's what I thought too. Thought I was too drunk and was scaring myself...but I didn't have anything to drink that day."

"What? The kid scares you?" Alex chuckled. But he stopped when Hannes shook his head. "I wish he did, that way I would've had a reason to avoid him. But that kid is way too much fun. Always making jokes and playing harmless pranks...most of the time. It's hard to hate him."

"Didn't he get into so many brawls that no one even remembers how many it is now?" Hugo asked. He remembered that time where a merchant was annoying the hell out of him. And while he'll admit that he was a bit tipsy at the time, the bastard deserved to take a punch to the face. Only then he never landed the first hit. Neither did the merchant. That J kid actually punched both of them. It was a shame of his to admit that while he was riled up, he didn't want to fight the brat. Reason being that there was this...passion in the kid's eye's that made Hugo shiver.

Hannes snapped his fingers. "That's one of the parts where I get confused! Most would think that he was a violent devil child, and that we should pray for his parents and call it a day. But man...you should see the way that he treated his three little friends...a whole nother person." Hannes smiled. "It warmed my heart."

"Mine too." Derick grinned.

"Yeah…" Hugo sighed.

Alex pinched at a scab on his wrist. "So you're confused since he's mean and intimidating but fun, who can also be nice and caring?"

"It sounds stupid when you put it that way." Hannes laughed. "But...you just gotta meet him, and you'll understand."

"Whatever you say, Captain."

/-/

"What the fuck, Grisha!" I roared. Grabbing Grisha by his collar, I pushed him against the floor, knocking the air out of him.

"I-I-I-"

"There's no pulse motherfucker! There's no pulse! Don't you dare fucking tell me he's dead!"

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" He yelled.

"Nothing is ever supposed to happen but it happens! Save him Grisha! Save your fucking son!" Pulling him up I shoved him towards his stilled son. Frantically, Grisha started to check over his son, pulling at his body to find anything that he could decipher, anything that is going wrong with his son's body.

"No pulse. No heartbeat...But he's still burning up." Grisha's eyes scanned each crook of muscle and skin, darting left to right. Until he witnessed something...unnatural.

"What the hell?" He whispered. Eren's very veins glowed an unsettling yellow. Like a blazing fire burning inside of his skin. It almost looked like it was healing him. His grotesque arm receded back to its normal size. Eren's chest slowly began to move and his stomach expanded until with one shuddering intake of breath, steam was exhaled from his mouth.

Grisha and I stared for what felt like minutes until Grisha's knees gave out and he fell to the floor.

"Thank god…" He muttered.

I stayed silent, just content to let the relief flood through my body.

"...First time I heard you curse while I'm still next to you." Grisha said.

Slumping to the floor, I gave a mirthless chuckle. "Well, I don't curse in front of my elders, old man." He frowned, grumbling something along the lines of still being ripe of age.

"Wait…" I started. "What do you mean by 'still next to you'?"

"...You're serious?"

"What?"

"J...your first words were 'Fuck You'. I'm sure that at that point everyone knew you were going to grow up with the mouth of a sailor." He grinned...How long have you been waiting to use that saying? Ten years? Fifteen years?...Annoying phrases aside.

"Hmph." I grunted. "I was just stressed."

"A toddler stressed?" He laughed. "How absurd." I was a fucking young adult that found out he died and then found out he got reborn into one of the most fucked up anime worlds. Of course, I was fucking stressed!

"It's true!" I defended.

"You wouldn't even remember your first years on this planet." I do motherfucker!

"That's what you think, Uncle." I said cattily.

He just laughed. I opted to grumble. Eventually, we both fell silent, just listening to the sounds of Eren taking in breaths.

"Grisha." I said.

"J?" He questioned.

I stared at him. "I would like to ask you to refrain from telling Eren about the outside world."

He bolted up to his feet. "What?!"

"I know that you've been thinking about telling Eren for a while now." I said, content to continue sitting on the cold stone ground. "After all, it would be perfect since he's going to join the training corps soon. Aunt Carla still doesn't know that he's joining and she sure as hell wouldn't support it, so I thought to myself why do you support letting Eren join...the answer came to me a little after...You wish for Eren to be the first Warrior inside the Walls. Your warrior inside the government of Paradis. I'm not sure if you're even aware of what you're doing though. "

Grisha stayed silent. "Not while he's a cadet of course, no. Grisha, you want to bide your time until Eren sees what's outside of the walls for himself. To see what happened to his fellow Eldians, to see what the Marleyans have done to his people. To show him how evil the rest of the world is. That way he'll be either scared or-" I met Grisha's widening eyes. "...Enraged...enough to want to do something. Something that you'll view as great, while the rest of us would view as diabolical." Well, everyone else. I'm not exactly a saint. And I don't plan to be one.

"You seem to forget that I know what happened to your previous family, Grisha." I sighed. "What became of your late wife Dina, and of how your son Zeke betrayed you both. And to be frank, I don't blame him, I would've done the same thing." I admitted. "Grisha I see what you're trying to do even if you're not aware of it. I won't allow you to make Eren your second attempt. I won't allow you to ruin your family again." I declared. "Please take my words seriously. While I do love you Uncle, I won't hesitate to inform the Military Police of your knowledge."

Grisha still hadn't spoken. He was just staring at me, shocked. His fingers were twitching at his side before they curled into a white-knuckled fist. Eyeing me with a look that I've seen on his son many times before. "Wouldn't that be ratting you out too?" He spat.

Glad to see your backbone resurface. Admirable. But not for this situation.

"Maybe." I shrugged. "Maybe not. But I feel like I can play the role of an ignorant child pretty well. And if not...I know I can end several lives-" Grisha stiffened, suddenly he wasn't looking at a child sitting on the ground. No. Instead, he had his back against a wall that was once several yards away. With my palm enclosed around his throat. Tight.

Struggling to breathe, Grisha strained his neck to meet my narrowed eyes. "...Yours included."

/-/

"Goddamn, that was tense." I sighed. After having said my part, I had dropped Grisha, and made my way outside of the clinic to get a breath of fresh air.

I don't feel good threatening Grisha. I love that man like my own uncle. But I had to make my point clear, that he was not to influence Eren. Not just because I didn't want him to turn into another Zeke, but also because that would have interfered with my plans in the long run. Threatening Grisha was the best course of action...

"...Regi, what's the report?" I asked. Leaning against the brick wall, I slid down to sit on the dirt and turned to stare at a man coming out from an alley next to the clinic. He was roughly around his late teens, and fairly tall. There was a bit of stubble growing around his chin and cheeks with a simple mustache already grown out. Long black hair cascaded past his shoulders but was held together by a simple hairband. With light tan skin wearing an outfit consisting of dirty black trousers, scratched-up boots, and a ragged beige shirt. Regi leaned against the wall next to me, crossing his arms.

"There's a total of three squadrons at your command." He said. Fishing a notebook out of his trousers pockets, he handed it to me. Written inside were pages filled with the names and ages of various pre-teens, along with some physical characteristics. Flipping through the pages, I counted a total of fifteen children.

"Three? Didn't you say that I wouldn't even have enough for even one last week?"

He nodded. "I did. But that was before Tony and Geralt were able to scavenge a few orphans." Hmmm, so those two were true to their word. Guess they can still be a bit useful to me. Yet, I wonder for how much longer I'll continue to let them live?

"Tony and Geralt found orphans, eh? Question is, did those two use their usual methods of 'persuasion', and are the children willing?"

"Yes, and of course not."

Not a surprise. "How about being loyal?"

"...Mainly through fear." Threats of bodily harm will do that. "Good enough I suppose. I'll befriend them during our time then. But they can't all be orphans." Although it wouldn't really surprise me if they all were. Orphans make up a good percentage of the population for the Underground. The amount of murders that take place down there is astronomical. Families being found dead is a monthly occurrence...and single murders are a weekly kind of thing.

"No." Regi said. He beckoned for the notebook, and I handed it to him. He turned to the last page, before handing the book back to me. "Only eight are orphans. Seven however came from our ranks."

I stared at the names. Much more detailed than that of the orphans. "Any reason why?"

"Glory," Regi said. "They want to be near 'the cause of the Totans massacre'. Or so they say." Totans -not to be confused for Titans-, was a gang that resided in the Underground...

"What a stupid title." Regi raised a brow. "...In my defense most of them joined after I killed some of them."

"Yes, 'some'-" He quoted. "Of them still are considering an uprising."

"Still?" I sighed. I thought that manner of thinking was long past us now. Like c'mon! It's been a year! And I've been a decent leader.

"They mistake you being a child for weakness." ...That irks me a bit, I'll admit.

"Really now?" I raised my own brow. "Did they not witness my own capabilities? Has a year really clouded their memories that badly?"

He shrugged. "It's nothing more than petty talk. None actually have the balls to go against you, despite what they say."

"I know that...But let them know back 'home' that I wouldn't mind showing them another demonstration." Regi looked unnerved...and it's understandable as to why he would.

"Regi." He perked up in attention. "I want them to realize that I'm not running a gang. I'm running an organization. I don't need violent thugs. I need soldiers that are loyal to me. I don't want to be a cruel leader. Hell, they should know how I act considering I've been working alongside them for the past year. And I'd like to believe that they're all loyal to me...But if I find any traitors in my mix then I will not hesitate to kill them."

"...I'll let them know." He sighed.

"Thanks."

...Yeah even I think that manner of thinking is a bit harsh. But that's the mindset I need in order to succeed with my plans.

But, I can always cut some slack. "Give me a quick report on our income and what we're spending it on."

"Where's Natasha when you need her." Regi muttered. "We got our last source of income just last Friday. We gained a total of around eleven-thousand, and we've spent somewhere between three-thousand on remodeling the base. Another three-thousand is being spent to cover the expenses of housing and food." He rubbed his stubble. "And while I'm not so sure, I think that Natasha is spending another two-thousand on weapons and clothing for our lads. That's all I know. Ask her for more details."

"So we got somewhere around three-thousand left." I hummed. "Alright, make a feast for our boys. Let's call it a throwing away party for lil old me."

He grinned. "Consider it done."

I should probably go back inside. Spent enough time gathering my breath. Need to go back and wake Eren. "Well it was nice talking to you Regi, but I gotta check up on my brother." He nodded. Pushing himself off the wall, Regi made his way back down one of the alleys on the side of the clinic. Two armed men came into view handing Regi a black leather jacket that stopped right above the waist. It also had the hood of a cowl, with a single insignia engraved to the front.

"Oh and Regi." I called. The man in question turned to stare at me. "Don't let the military catch a whiff of us." I said, staring at the symbol of a Jaeger. Flying over Regi's shrouded eyes.

/-/

"So I just hit my head too hard?" Eren asked.

"Not really, I kind of got freaked out by the frogs in the jars...so I might've thrown you in self-defense."

"Frogs in jars? Aren't they supposed to be dead?"

"Supposed, is the keyword. They could've come back to life."

Eren stared. "Dead frogs."

"Dead frogs." I nodded.

"You gave me a concussion."

I tsked, waving a finger in the air. "A healing concussion."

"I think I landed on my neck. And I'm worried because the rest of my body is aching. Especially my arm." The scene of his arm growing to that terrible size forced its way into my mind. I had to gulp on my spit just to force myself from gagging. Not because it was an unsettling scene but from the amount of fear that coursed through me at that moment...I thought that he was going to lose his arm or worse turn into a titan.

"You're alive." I breathed out. "No need to be so dramatic."

"I want you dead."

I shrugged. "Fair enough." Eren scowled, he stomped his way ahead of me, making sure to kick dirt at my feet with each step...Rude.

To avoid him dirting my shoes anymore I swiftly made my way next to him. Walking side by side, there was no need for us to talk. Because in three...two...one...

"Can't believe that it's almost time." Eren said. He can't go a few minutes without fanboying for the military.

"Excited for recruitment?" I already know the answer.

"Yeah! Three years of training before we're killing titans. I can't wait!"

"You do realize it's not that fun, right?" I said.

He nodded. "I know! People die! But as long as we're together nothing like that is ever going to happen. I'll make sure of it!" He shot me a thumbs up.

I shook my head. "Keep thinking like that, Eren. It's healthy for the mind, but a piece of advice; never delude yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, his mood a little dimmer.

"You'll understand when you're older."

He scowled. "And when are you going to stop saying that?! I'm older than you and I never figure out what you mean!" Don't think so. I got twenty over you in my mental age.

I dodged the question. "So is your mom on board with this whole thing? I was planning on talking it over with my folks tonight." He stayed quiet for a bit longer than my liking.

"Eren?" I said, dread leaking into my stomach. He stayed silent. "Eren."

"...I haven't told her yet." My fingers found his left ear in a death grip.

"Were you planning to?" I scowled.

"Dad already knows!" He yelped, fighting my hand. "And he said he approves!"

Of course, he would. "But does Aunt Carla know? Does she approve?... Were you even going to tell her?"

His silence was my answer. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let go of his reddened ear. "Eren you just can't decide that. It's not fair to you mom."

"...I know." He murmured, rubbing his ear tenderly.

"Then please tell me why you wouldn't have told her."

"You wouldn't understand."He murmured...Fuck no! I'm not going to deal with your pre-teen angst! I've been through puberty before and I'm going through it again, shit is wack. It sucks. But I won't make the mistake of being an asshole to my parents again, and I won't allow you to start!

"Eren, I've known you since before you could talk. I'm your brother at this point. I know all of your tics and mannerisms that I'm confident I could imitate you without any effort. I will understand. So either you start explaining or I won't allow you to join the military." I said, crossing my arms.

"You can't do that!" He shouted.

"Yes, I can. Want to know how? I'll keep your ass grounded in your house, you won't ever get the chance to go to a recruitment center. And every time that you try to leave I'll drag you right back to your bed. You know I'll do it."

"...Fine...I'm...I'm scared, ok." He confessed.

"Scared to face your mom?"

"More like how she's going to react. She's always worrying over me." I raised an eyebrow. "Not to the extent of your mom, but enough to know what'll happen if I tell her."

"I get the feeling that she'll cry…" He whispered.

"And that's the one thing you hate most right. Seeing your mom cry." He nodded. Damn, I guess some trauma had to come and surface back up at some point.

Six years back, Eren's grandma died due to a heart attack, alone since his grandfather died long before he was born. But it took weeks for them to take notice of her death; His grandma lived on a small farm on the outskirts of Wall Maria, with the nearest village thirty minutes away by foot.

When Aunt Carla never got any of her weekly letters, she feared something had happened to her Mother. So the family took a little trip to grandma's house...They found her decaying body lying on the floor.

Eren doesn't like to speak of it, but that memory stuck with him. Why? It was the first time that he had ever heard his Mother cry so...anguished. He's been scared of hearing it ever since, albeit he never admitted it.

"Well, she's still going to cry even if you don't tell her. And it's going to be worse." Eren looked down at his feet. He knew I was right. "Don't worry bud I'll be right there next to you."

"...Fine."

"That's the spirit." I stopped walking. Eren stopped too, looking at me confused until he noticed where exactly we were...at his house's gate.

Opening the gate with a creak, we walked past his pristine lawn and went inside his home. It didn't take us long to find Aunt Carla who was busy at work cleaning the frames of paint pictures that laid on the fireplace in the living room.

I slapped Eren's back "Here goes nothing, right?"

"Right." Taking a deep breath, Eren walked to his mom -me not far behind- gaining her attention. "Hey, mom?"

"Eren? J? I thought you were with your Father for the day?" She said, Placing the frame back in its place, placing the rag she was using in one of her apron's pockets.

"We finished earlier than we thought." I said. Let Eren rev himself up for a few precious seconds.

"Well since the both of you are here do you boys want anything to eat? I still have some leftovers from yesterday."

Eren spoke up. "We're not hungry mom." Speak for yourself. " Actually I wanted to tell you something."

"And what would that be?"

"I'm going to join the military."

"...I'm sorry? What?"

"I'm going to join the military."

"Are you still hung up on this?" She sighed. Bringing her hands to her hips she gave her son a long stare. He stayed silent. "Eren you're not going there."

He flinched his stone facade breaking. Ever so slightly, he began to turn his head his eyes darting to mine, pleading for me to help him.

"This is your fight, Eren. Not mine."

He stared for a while longer before turning to meet his Mother's eyes. "...Okay…" He gulped. "I'm joining the scouts."

"Absolutely not."

Eren raised his voice. "I'm joining!"

"No! And that's final!"

"Yeah! I'm joining!"

"Eren!"

"I'm joining!" He yelled.

Aunt Carla whirled to face me. "J! Please talk some sense into him!"

I shook my head, crossing my arms. "This isn't my argument Aunt Carla. This is between you and him, I'm just here to make sure he doesn't run away in case it gets too heated. The two of you need to resolve this now."

She took a step back, stunned. The reality of the situation was finally descending onto her. This isn't some childish argument, this is a talk about what Eren wishes to do with his life. How he wants to live, and if it ever happens...die. Realizing that I wasn't going to be of any help she turned to face her son. But in her eyes, I could see some form of pain, as if I had betrayed her.

Aunt Carla took in a deep breath, and shakily let it out. "Eren...please...please just listen to me. I don't want you to involve yourself in that lifestyle. I've...I've seen what joining the Scouts does to men, men far stronger and far weaker than you. And you want me to let my own son, a child, into that lifestyle? I...I just don't want you living a life filled with suffering and depression."

A silence seeped into the room, as me and Eren processed over her words, I couldn't help but agree with her in some regard. Living life as a scout is more of a punishment than a job. Doesn't matter who it is, but the chances of turning out for the worse are almost guaranteed. But then again wouldn't it all be the same regardless? If we all stayed in the confinements of the walls, then wouldn't we all suffer when at some point something we can't handle happens? We've already had a taste of it with the breaking of the wall, and the events that led to the depression.

And with the rest of the world looking at us as if we were the greatest evil in the world...dying from a titan, getting trauma from being a scout, or just living inside of the walls. It would all be the same really.

Eren was silent for another minute. "...Well, I won't!" He finally declared. " I'm different from all the rest. Stronger, weaker it doesn't matter! I'm going to become a Scout and I'm going to reclaim the walls back from the titans! And I don't need your blessings to join!"

Aunt Carla looked as if she'd been slapped. I was considering slapping Eren myself.

Eren shuffled in place bringing his hands behind his back for a moment, before crossing them over his chest. "...But I want them…" He whispered, slumping his shoulders and bowing his head.

Aunt Carla stared. Eren raised his head, his eyes never leaving his Mothers. "Mom...please just let me go…"

"...I...I can't do that." She stammered. " How could I? You're going to go off to some camp in the middle of nowhere and live such a harsh life for the next three years. I won't be able to see you, or talk to you, kiss, h-hug, and feed you. And then when all that's over you'll just be sent out of the walls to die! How could I ever accept letting you live like that!?"

Eren looked back towards the ground. "I...I don't need you to accept. I need you to acknowledge that I'm going to the military."

"The military I could accept, but the Scouts?! Please Eren! Think about your life! Join the Garrison or even the Military Police if you can. Just anything other than the Scouts!"

"No."

"Why!?" She cried.

"Because I'm tired of living in fear!" Eren roared.

Raising his head to glare at his Mother, his temper surfacing. "Each time I look at the walls, I don't see them protecting me or anybody else. All I see is them delaying our deaths! Trapping us like birds inside a cage! Just look at what happened! They were breached! Those walls don't save anybody! The only reason why more people aren't dead is because of J!" He pointed at me, his arms shaking with anger.

"And you want me to keep on living inside of them?" He questioned, scoffing at the very idea. "You want me to join a branch that just watches over the walls and makes sure it stays clean? Or another that just lays around all day inside of Sina, if they aren't spending their time killing us! They don't do anything to ease me! The only people who actually make an effort to keep us safe are the scouts! The only people who keep my family safe are the scouts! The only people that are actually worth a damn are the scouts!" He yelled, clenching his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"It would be better to die knowing that I tried to keep everyone safe, rather than to see everyone around me be eaten because I was a damn coward!" He shouted, panting and trying to reclaim his breath. There was a bit of sweat falling from his brow, trailing down towards his eyes. Yet his gaze didn't lose an ounce of intensity.

Aunt Carla looked away, biting her lip. "...I'd rather you be a coward that's alive...and not my dead son…"

Eren grunted, looking away. "I knew you wouldn't understand…"

"I don't. And I never will." ...No, she understands just fine.

Eren took in a deep shaky breath. "...As I said before I don't need your blessings-"

"And you will never have them." She snapped. Eren flinched, gritting his teeth as his eyes grew the slightest bit misty. "...But I'll allow you to go." She breathed out.

Eren snapped his head. "Mom?"

"I won't repeat myself twice. But it's just like your father says, there's no way to change that stubborn mind of yours...without hurting us." She murmured.

Eren couldn't say anything, words stuck in his throat. Aunt Carla didn't meet his gaze. And I already knew why. Tears were beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.

"...Please leave me alone for a moment honey...I just...I just need some time to process it."

"...Me too." Eren mumbled. He already knew that his Mother was going to cry… And he hates the fact that it's because of him. Spinning on his heel he lumbered his way out of the house, but before he could close the door behind him I called out to him.

"I'll catch up. Just go to our new spot." As he shut the door, I couldn't tell whether Eren heard me or not.

Aunt Carla in the meantime had moved to a spot on one of the couches, her head in her hands. Making my way over to her, I sat on the cushion next to her and gave her a hug, that she practically melted into.

She turned to stare at me. "...Are you also joining?" I nodded.

"Well, that makes sense." She mumbled, tears starting to flow from her eyes like rivers.

I rubbed circles on her back. "I'll protect him, Aunt Carla."

"...I...I wish that I could believe that...But the fear of him dying will never leave me. No matter how skilled or protected he is, the chance of him dying will always be there." She said, her voice beginning to break.

"It will."

"I don't want my baby to die." She cried. "I don't want anyone else to die."

"..."

Hugging Aunt Carla feeling the trail of tears seep into my shirt, I was honestly at a loss on what to say. I was never the best at comforting people in my old life since I could never relate to their troubles, but I could try to understand. But I could never figure out what words to put them at ease. And in this situation, I find it extremely difficult to find something, anything that'll help relieve my aunt of the fear that she's facing.

Of course, nothing comes to mind, but maybe telling her what'll happen to us, gives her some reassurance. "I can't promise you that some things won't happen. We might come back changed, but we'll all be happy in the end."

And like always it seems that my words did nothing. She only cried harder. I was probably sitting next to her for ten minutes before her tears ran dry. And even then it looked like she still wanted to cry. Puffy red eyes, and snot threatening to spill out from her nose...it was the worst I've seen her in a while.

Standing up, I softly took Aunt Carla's head and laid her against the soft cushion of the sofa. She offered no resistance, opting to instead get comfortable, hugging one of the couch pillows tightly to her chest.

Sighing, I walked to her room intent on finding a blanket that'll cover her up. The door was already open, pushing it to the side. I admired how neat it all looked. The corners of the bed were made, tucked into the side of the mattress with four velvet pillows laying underneath the white silk covers. The floor was practically spotless, when I stared down I could just barely see the reflection of my own eyes. The only window was spotless, and the curtains that covered looked brand new. Hell, the counter that had all of their accessories and makeup were placed in a way that made it seem as if they were always meant to be in that spot. Honestly, the room gave me some perfect happily-ever-after vibes...If only the two people that shared this room could feel this way. Perfect.

The closet was in the corner of the room, evident by the opened wooden doors showcasing an assortment of different colored fabrics. And on the shelf of the closet, there was a small number of blankets, all neatly folded. Jumping to grab one, I hauled it over my shoulder and back to Aunt Carla, still in the spot where I left her.

Unfurling the blanket over her, I made sure to tuck the comfy cloth into the crook of her neck. She gave me a meek. "Thank you."

Nodding, I began to head out. But before I left, I couldn't help but say some departing words. "Take some rest, Aunt Carla...And...Just let it out." I closed the door behind me.

...Should've just left quietly.

Walking down identical stone steps, onto the street below there was a heavy weight on my shoulders. I hated making Aunt Carla feel this way. Hated threatening Grisha. And I just hate what else is going to happen later in the day.

Especially since I'm going to tell my parents.

/-/

"I'm home!" Opening the door to my house, I was met with both Mother and Father sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in cups with baked sweets on a plate...it was barely out of the oven.

"Welcome back sweetie!" Mother called out, while Father just raised his mug in greeting more intent on focusing on the newspaper that he had. Mother stood from her seat and came to hug me like she always did when I came back home.

"...J, why is your shirt wet?" Stiffening in her embrace, I now realized how damp my shirt felt. Mother cupped my cheeks forcing me to look into her worried eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked...It's amazing how much you can tell about me. There are times when I come home covered in dirt and blood, and you scold me. Already knowing that I got into a fight...I'm just a little wet and you already know that I'm not in the right state of mind.

I should just get this over with.

"...I'm joining the scouts." Mother stiffened. Father froze. I tensed.

"Please don't…" Mother whispered into my ear. But her voice reverberated throughout the whole house.

"Mama?"

She flung herself at me, Hugging me with a desperate death grip. "Please don't! Please don't go!" She cried, tears already beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

It hurt.

"Mama…" I said softly. "I'm going to need to."

"Why? For what reason." Father cut in, his voice sharp.

I looked at him, wanting to divert my attention from my frantic Mother. He had placed down his newspaper and had pulled his chair so that he was facing me. His fingers were interlocked, resting on his lap with his head bowed.

"Because Eren's going to." I said.

Father took in a deep breath of air. "That damn fool." He mumbled.

Mother spoke up, forcing my attention back to her. Tears were streaming down her face, and her lip was trembling. "J please reconsider! Please don't. You're still too young to go off to the military! You still haven't graduated from school! You're barely even twelve!"

"Mama...I'm going to need to join." She opened her mouth to speak, but Father spoke before she could. "Because you want to protect your friends. Don't you?" He said.

I nodded. It was more than that, but that was one of my main driving points.

Father stood up. I thought that he was going to walk towards me. Instead, he picked up his mug and carried it over to the sink, where he dumped out its steaming contents. It was coffee. His favorite.

"You were never a normal kid." He said lightly, turning on the faucet he began to rinse the sink. "Didn't like the same things other kids your age liked. Hell, even Eren always had some baby qualities to him. But you never did." Turning off the water, he wiped his hands dry.

Once done, he turned back to face me once more. "When you were still a little child, all I remember is you acting like a guardian for Eren. Teaching him how to walk, how to speak, how to draw...how to fight. All you've been doing is helping him. Even when you added Armin and Mikasa to your little group, you never did stop helping."

He sighed. "I was worried I'll admit. I thought you weren't living your life. I even felt a little angry at those three too. I thought they were dragging you from fully enjoying yourself. But it wasn't until after the wall was first breached when you ran back to where the colossal appeared and until after you fought that horde did I finally start to realize." Father met my gaze. "You've been protecting them, haven't you? Protecting us."

He began to close the distance. "You're my son, and it's my job to know what you like and hate. So I know that if you had the choice you wouldn't ever join the military. You hate the way that those officials act." He let out a small chuckle. "Just like your old man, I suppose...Yet here you are telling us that you're going to follow the orders of the people that annoy you. You've always been a big fan of your freedom, so following orders doesn't seem right up your alley."

He stood in front of me. "I hate it." He...H-He whimpered. "I hate knowing that we can't change your mind, no matter how much we beg or cry you're going to stay protecting those three. Always go where they go, teaching them along the way, helping them fight their battles…" He pulled me and Mother into a tight embrace. "Till the bitter end too, huh?"

I was dead still.

"J." Father said, pulling away ever so slightly to peer into my eyes. "Your Mother and I...we don't want you to go. We know you're capable of protecting yourself, but are you able to do that while helping others? It's something that we won't ever know until you come back home, or until Commander Erwin sends us a letter."

Mother raised her head from where it was buried. Her eyes were red, Tears streaming. Cheeks flushed hotly. Lips trembling. Brows creased. Shoulders shaking. Snot dripping. "We'll let you go honey. But...But please don't..." Mother bit her lip. "Just do what you need to do sweetie." She sobbed.

...I couldn't say anything. I can't say anything. What should I say? How do I ease their worries? I don't know how. They know my strength. And yet they worry. They panic. They cry. Why? I understand why. Because they're human, and they love me. But still, why fret? How can I relieve them of this pain? Why don't I know how? Did I know how before? Did I ever know? I should follow my plans. But my plans never entailed this. I should focus on improving that. Yeah. I should when this situation is finished. How do I resolve this? What can I do to help them? Punch? No! Kick? No! Eren? What!? Titans? Not relevant. Jokes? Bad idea. Uhhhh. Ummm. Ughhh. Jokes! Fight! Anger! Sad! Punch! Kick! Gouge! Safe!? No, Save! Mama? Papa? TearBreakHelpGoalsSavePlansFunHumanFutureKill-

"When do you need to go?" Father said, wrenching me from my thoughts.

I shook my head, my heart racing. "Friday evening. We'll arrive by Monday morning."

Father sighed. "Just three days huh?" He shook his head, bringing a rigid smile to his lips. "C'mere we need to make the most of the time we have left."

"...I-I can't…" Why am I struggling to speak? "...I still need to go with Mikasa to-"

"To help her." Mother said.

"Even now putting them ahead of yourself." Father murmured.

Mother wiped her face. It still looks like a mess. "Go ahead, honey. We'll be waiting for you." I nodded.

…

…

...When did I get outside?...Doesn't matter I guess? Need to make my way to Mikasa.

That went better than expected...But why does my heart hurt? They allowed me to go without a fight...ahhh...I think that they've given up on me...Given up on me coming back alive...Huh, not what I was expecting to realize today.

...I'll be fine. I got my plans. Everyone is going to come home and we'll all be happy...we'll all be a complete and happy family. I'm not going to die, I promise.

/-/

"Where's Eren?" Mikasa asked from her bench.

I gave her a weary grin. "By himself at the bank of the canal."

"Is he ok?"

I grimaced. "Ok isn't what I'd say-" She was already moving. Rushing in front of her I held her back by her shoulders. "Woah there calm down lil knight in shining armor. He's just a bit emotionally drained is all...He talked with his mom."

"Was it bad?"

"Tough, would be the better word. If anything Aunt Carla is worse." Now she looked even more concerned. "You really shouldn't see either of them at the moment they need time to themselves." I said. Mikasa seemed to not agree with what I said, but did reluctantly nod her head.

"Speaking of time, have you had enough to prepare yourself?" She nodded once more.

"Do you want a bit more? I'm cool with waiting." I offered.

Mikasa shook her head. "No, I'm sure. Even then I think that things will go more smoothly on my end."

"Are you positive, or is that just blind optimism?"

She opened her mouth to speak. Closed it. Then opened it again. "Positive."

"Alright then." With that, we began to make our way to her home. There was a bustle of people around us. It was to be expected since we were in the middle of the town square and as of right now this was the place where everything was sold. It could be food, accessories, furniture, and supplies but everything was sold in the middle of the town. As such, this led all the residents, whether they live on the outskirts or close by, to pile together to buy the items that they needed.

As such this is also the place where most people open up a business. With such a large flux of people, it only made sense to open up shop. Although in my opinion, it would've been better to open up a shop not in the square, since most restaurants are filled.

But then again sometimes there's the rarity. "Look, there's a sale going on in that bakery, they even got low prices on the strawberry cake." I pointed at the near-empty bakery that we were passing by. It was covered in posters, and fliers to the point that I almost didn't notice that it was an establishment.

"We can come back here at a different date with the others if you want. You already know how crazy the two of them get over cookies and cheesecake." I offered. Mikasa squinted her eyes, no doubt a bit hesitant to take food from such a...ragged store.

"I'd like that." She finally said.

I grinned. "All of us would, that's why I said it." She shot me an annoyed look. And I chuckled in response. As we were about to walk past something inside the bakery caught Mikasa's eye, as she stopped walking just to stare.

I turned to look as well and inside there were little cutout signs that were colored in bright red 'Samples'.

Curse your sweet tooth, eh Mikasa? "Do you want to take a sample?"

She shook her head. "What?! No!... I can wait."

"Don't act shy now. You just looked like a sad puppy just as we were passing the store. Have you no shame?"

"Just don't spend any money, ok?" She grumbled.

I grinned, ruffling her hair. "Wait here for a bit." Walking towards the bakery's door I eyed the various flyers that were taped to the glass door. Most were coupon flyers, with a few old news articles about the bakery's opening. But what was mainly shown were papers about the military.

"Hey miss, can I get a free sample of that strawberry cake?"

"Get lost."

"C'mon now miss what's the harm in providing a treat for the young and hungry?"

"Get. Lost."

Bitch. "Fine, how much do you want for a sample?"

"1.50 funds." What the?! The whole cake was 3 funds! Why is a sample half of that?!

I caught her smirk. If I wasn't in the presence of Mikasa I would've dropkicked this woman without any hesitation. "This is a robbery and you know it."

The hag raised a wrinkled eyebrow. "And?" Grumbling, I sneakily took some loose change out of my pocket, careful for the money not to be caught in Mikasa's gaze. The baker looked at me as if I was a nuisance.

But eventually, I brought the money to the counter. Before the lady could snatch it out of my hand, I asked. "Can you handle the money discreetly?" Confused, she gave me a hard stare as if asking 'Why?'. I subtly inched my head towards the window, where Mikasa was fogging up the windows. She was drawing an E+M, looked at it with a blushed smile before frantically wiping it away. The baker's face softened ever so slightly. She took the money from my hand, and while it wasn't discreet it sure as hell was fast. Counting the coins, she nodded to herself and bent down, cutting off a piece of cake from the display case, she put Mikasa's slice on a thin paper plate accompanied by a small plastic fork.

"Here." Huh, she gave me back a fund. Perhaps I have misjudged this old woman.

Walking out of the store, I gave Mikasa the treat. "Here you go." I grinned.

"You didn't have to." She said, reluctantly taking the cake from my hands.

I shrugged. "But I wanted to so any argument you try to make is invalid." I took her hand and forced her to continue our walk to her house. Still a bit hesitant to take the treat -not knowing how rude it was- Mikasa just let the cake sit on the plate as we walked. But, eventually her weakness for sweets won over her stubbornness, and our walk was now accompanied by the small hums of Mikasa enjoying her cake.

A few minutes later, we were standing before a modest one story building. It looked like all the other houses that were on this block, made from wood and stone, with cobblestone acting as the dirt for the area. Its only notable feature was the cropped garden that surrounded the walls of the home.

Mikasa's home was one of the projects my Father made to house refugees, but since the Ackerman's were close friends of ours he was willing to make a home that was just as extravagant as mine and Eren's. Surprisingly the family declined, saying how the house reminded them of their old cottage home, only just bigger.

I made sure Mikasa finished her cake, before knocking on the door, with three quick taps. A few seconds later the door creaked open, and Aunt Aika peeked her head out. "Oh? J we weren't expecting you tonight." She said, pushing the door to the side she pulled me into a hug, which I returned. Although, I took care not to hug too tightly since I didn't want to harm her very large belly.

Yep. Aunt Aika is pregnant. Eight months if I remember correctly.

A couple of months back, when Aunt Aika was first showing the signs of pregnancy everyone was so overjoyed. It was just another splice of good news that seemed to overshadow everything else. Really seemed to fill us with hope after all of the shit that took place.

I'm betting that it's a girl.

"Well, I met up with Mikasa and felt like tagging along. It's not a problem is it?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not at all, come inside I just finished serving dinner. Me and Oliver were just waiting for Mikasa. Would you like to join us?"

"Tempting, but I'd rather just chat."

"That sounds lovely...Mikasa, is that frosting on your cheek?"

I wiped away the evidence with my thumb. "I think you're imagining things, Aunt Aika."

"And I think you're spoiling her." She said, lightly glaring at the both of us. I had the decency to look sheepish, but who could blame me? Mikasa is a precious angel.

"Honey, who's at that door?" Oliver called from the kitchen.

"Mikasa and J!" She answered.

"J? Well, did you already invite him inside?"

"Already coming in Uncle." Pardon the intrusion. Walking past the living room and into the kitchen, Uncle Oliver was sitting at the table, with a glass of cranberry juice in his hand. He grinned at me.

"Nice to see you J, the last time I saw you was last week wasn't it?" He asked, beckoning me to sit at the small round table. There were only four chairs in total, so I decided to sit on the one at his right.

I nodded, pulling the chair from the table. "Yep, the four of us played some games up in Mikasa's room."

"Ahh, that's right. You also wanted me to try out a 'Twissler'?"

"Twister dear." Aunt Aika corrected, walking into the kitchen with Mikasa in tow. Heading over to the cabinets above the stove, she grabbed several porcelain plates and placed them in front of us.

"I liked that one." Mikasa added.

"Only because you kept your balance better than Eren and Armin." I jabbed.

"They were sticking their butts into your face." She shot back.

Do not speak of that. "Shhhh! Don't tell them!"

"Oh? Tell me more sweetie." Aunt Aika teased...Yeah, I just imagined what she could do with that knowledge and I don't like it.

Thankfully, Mikasa seemed to have mercy. "Later, I need to talk to the both of you."

"Well, we have open ears." Uncle Oliver responded. Placing his glass to the side, both he and Aunt Aika gave Mikasa their undivided attention.

She took in a deep breath. "I'm going to join the cadet corps."

"No." Uncle Oliver said.

Mikasa tried again. "We're going to join the cadet corps." This time she pointed at me.

"Do you take us for fools?" Uncle Oliver asked. His eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" Mikasa asked.

Uncle Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're going to join the cadet corps. Sure that seems reasonable enough until you realize that right after Eren is going to join the scouts. And knowing you, you're going to follow him wherever he goes."

Mikasa frowned. "Is that a problem?"

"It sure as hell is a problem!"

"Dear calm down." Aunt Aika put her hand on his shoulder, but Uncle Oliver just shook it off. Glaring at Mikasa. "I refuse! I refuse to calm down and I refuse to let her go into the military!"

Mikasa crossed her arms, returning her Fathers glare. "And why is it such a problem?"

"Are you joking?... You're not...You're not joking" Locking his hands, resting them on the table. Uncle Oliver stared at the wooden ceiling. "You can't even begin to see the problem can you?" He said in disbelief.

"What? What problem?" His daughter pressed.

He snapped his head back to face her. "You're going to join the scouts Mikasa! The branch where everyone dies!"

"I won't die! I'll have Eren, J, and Armin with me." Mikasa argued.

"There is another problem! You aren't doing this because you want to! You are just following those three on whatever sort of adventure they're willing to put themselves into. You never decide for yourself. All you do is follow their lead."

I couldn't help but apologize. "Sorry about that."

"You should be." Oliver growled, a scowl plastered on his face. He turned his attention back to his upset daughter. "You can't decide for yourself, Mikasa. Tell me, if Eren or J weren't ever to be born into this world would you have ever gone to choose the military."

"I'm sure that if it wasn't for them, we never would've lived this long." She scowled.

Oliver shook in his seat, grounding his teeth. He knew she was right. "Maybe that would've been for the best. Because at least I know that my daughter would've had some sort of free will before fucking dying!" In his anger, he knocked his glass cup to the ground. It broke into several chunks with red tainting the wooden floor.

But we all ignored it. Much more focused on the words Oliver had said.

"Oliver!" His wife cried, shocked by his brutal words.

Oliver whirled to face her. "What do you expect, Aika!? Mikasa is going to join that death sentence of a branch, all because she wants to go wherever her little friends go!"

"I can choose wherever I want to go!" Mikasa defended.

"That's what you think! You aren't choosing this life for yourself! All I see is my daughter under some kind of brainwashing trying to follow some punks to their deaths! Do you expect me to understand!? To sympathize!? To believe that you'll turn out ok! Open your eyes, Mikasa! The chances of you surviving are close to none! It's close to none and yet you expect us to be ok with sending you off?!"

"You aren't going to send me off, because I don't need your permission to join." Mikasa grounded out.

"But you do need our permission to stay in this house." Oliver declared.

"Oliver!" Aunt Aika shouted, distressed.

He paid her no heed. "If a child is twelve years old and wishes to join the ranks of the military then, at that point they are considered to be an adult in the eyes of the law. Which means that we don't have to provide care for you before your leave."

Mikasa was silent -we all were-, until she spoke in a frail and tiny voice. "Daddy?"

Oliver faltered for a split second, his body shuddering. His throat strained, and his lips quivered. His eyes misted over and his body shuddered as if he was in pain. But, eventually he regained control until he looked just like stone.

He spoke, his voice loud and clear if a bit shaky. "If you want to join the military and die, then so be it. I won't be able to change that stubborn mind of yours. But what I can do is not allow you to stay in this house. Stay with Carla for the next couple of days. Knowing her she'll welcome you with open arms."

I don't think it'll be so welcoming. "Uncle, there's no need for things to get so harsh."

"Shut your mouth J!" Oliver snarled.

...If you were a stranger you'd be sporting a fractured jaw right about now.

Oliver's eyes softened, but his body stood firm. "I will not spend the next few days with my daughter while in a horrible situation. I'm not going to spend the next few days fighting with my daughter before her death."

"Mommy?" Aika didn't look at her daughter. Instead, she stood from her chair and went to pick up the fragments of the plate.

"...Fine!" Mikasa bawled, pushing herself from the chair, she ran out of the kitchen into the living room and slammed the door open, rushing outside and out of view.

Oliver deflated into his chair, looking exhausted. "I'm sorry J...Please...just leave the house."

I stayed rooted in my seat. It didn't look like Oliver noticed, rising to his feet he stumbled his way into the hallway and sluggishly opened the door for his and Aunt Aika's room. He vanished inside, without another sound.

Aika was still picking up the shards of juice-coated glass, putting whatever she picked into the palm of her hand, leaving it red and sticky. Standing from my chair, I grabbed the napkins that rested on the table and made my way over to the mess, helping to clean the drink.

"I'll protect her, Aika." I said as I wiped away the last of the spill. "Just like I've always had."

Aika stopped her motions briefly. "...J." She said softly.

"Yes?"

She took a deep shuddering breath and began to gather the last of the shards. "...When the wall was first breached, we couldn't handle the thought that Mikasa was dead. You saw how I looked, Oliver was at least able to save some face." She chuckled, but there was no joy in her laugh. "We thought that she was dead. Our precious little girl...dead. It felt like a knife was twisted deep into our hearts. But the moment that we found her...that knife never did leave us-" Aika picked the last shard of glass off the ground. "Because we always had the feeling that she would go to throw away her life for the three of you. We just never knew how."

She carried the fragments of broken glass to the trash can, opening the lid so that she could throw away the pieces one by one. "Oliver and I love the idea of you, Eren, and Armin protecting her and vice-versa...but it's just as you like to say; you're about as special as you are unspecial." She said gingerly. Weakly.

Aika turned to face me, and I saw the streaks of tears falling from her face. "Sending her off to the scouts...it's the same as sending her off to her death...Same as sending you off to yours." Wobbling towards me, Aunt Aika placed her hands on my shoulders. Her crying eyes stared into my own.

Weren't we in this position once before? On the boat. She was distressed...And I didn't know what to say.

"J…" She sobbed. "...Please let you all come back alive...Please, let Mikasa come back to watch her sibling grow."

"...We will. I'll make sure of it."

Aunt Aika gave me a brittle smile. "Thank you...Now go run after Mikasa." She said, gently taking the stained napkin from my hand...Huh completely forgot that I was holding that. Now my hand was colored red too.

Ignoring the sticky feeling on my palm, I gave Aunt Aika a nod and rushed out of the house.

Most people would panic when looking for a runaway. But, finding those three friends of mine was one of the easiest things in the world. So not even a minute later I had caught up to Mikasa, who was still running through the streets.

"Mikasa!" I called.

She stopped in her tracks, her shoulders shaking. "I'm fine! I don't need them! I have the three of you! And Carla, and Dr. Grisha! And your Mommy and Daddy! I don't need them!" She shouted, drawing the attention of those passing by us.

"Then why are you crying?" I asked. Mikasa turned her head, revealing red eyes and a puffy nose accompanied by quivering lips, and tear-stained cheeks.

I outstretched my arms. "C'mere." She dashed into my arms burying her face into my chest, letting out soft wails that were muffled by my shirt.

...This shirt has been ran through today. Must be cursed.

I patted the back of Mikasa's head. "You are so stubborn and prideful that it ends up getting you hurt y'know? You really need to drop that trait, it doesn't help anyone, and sure as hell doesn't help you...I think you got it from your dad." Mikasa sniffled in response.

"...Do you want to get that strawberry cake right now?" She nodded, face still buried deep. "Then let's go."

I grasped Mikasa's shoulders and began to lead her to the bakery we were at earlier. It was a quiet walk, the only sound that I paid attention to was Mikasa's feet dragging behind. Her face still hadn't left the comfort of my clothes.

...I don't ever remember her being this emotional in the show. Closest thing I could remember were those moments that involved Eren. Him getting kidnapped, him questioning her feelings, and him hurting those feelings. For her to be this...vulnerable, I know that it's because of my actions. But, I can't decide on whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. I love that Mikasa is more willing to show her emotions. It's a healthy part of being human. But at the same time, will this hinder her abilities in the future? Make her less capable than less before?

Well, then again it really wouldn't matter. Mikasa having a changed personality isn't something I need to worry too much about. And even if it does hinder her, I'll protect her.

Mikasa peeked her strained eyes. "...I never asked but did you ever talk with your parents? About joining?" I almost missed a step, the question surprising me.

Luckily, I caught myself. "I was planning on doing it tomorrow." I lied. Why would I want to admit my emotional baggage? She doesn't need to feel any worse than she does right now.

Mikasa buried her face into my side. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making it such a difficult day."

"It's no problem, Mikasa. No problem at all. I mean how could it? We got-" I let go of her and waved my hands at the bakery before us. "Caaake!"

"Cake." Mikasa sniffled, walking inside of the store with her head down and shoulders slumped. I saw her talk to the old lady, and then walk to a table where she then slumped down into a chair and began hiding her face into the crooks of her elbows.

It hurt just to watch.

"Stay strong Mikasa." I muttered, going into the store. "In the end, everything is going to be ok. Just wait for it. I'll prove it."

/-/

"Armin!" I called, running down the bank of the canal, careful not to drop the box of cake I had in my hands. Armin sat on the cobblestone stairs that separated the bank from the street, a book in his hands and the straw of an apple juice carton resting on his lips.

Turning his head from his book, he waved me over. Jogging up to him I patted him on the head with a grin.

"Cheesecake?" I offered. Taking the book from his hands and shoving the box into his arms, before flopping down next to him on the steps, taking a subtle look at the title of the page he was reading.

'Who Or What Made The Walls?'

"Did you bring this for me?" Armin asked, peeking inside to see its contents. Smiling when he saw it was chocolate flavored.

I closed the book, but not before making a crease at the top of the page. "Well I brought it for everyone, Mikasa and I went to a bakery and I decided to buy some sliced cake for everyone, felt like they could all use some sweets." Yeah, I left cake at our parents' doorsteps too and made sure to get their favorites. Hopefully, it'll cheer them up a little. Or be comforted just a tiny bit.

Sadly, I'm broke now.

"Well, thank you." He said, taking the slice of cake out of the box, already placed on a small paper plate with a fork piercing the crust.

I grinned. "No problem." Spreading my arms, I leaned against the stone stairs letting Armin enjoy his treat for a few minutes, both of us enjoying the silence that the canal seemed to give.

Y'know it's weird. When I first became friends with Armin I thought that he would be a chatterbox, always talking about ideas and ideals and the sort. I was obviously influenced by what I remembered from the show. But instead, almost all of our hang-out sessions involve us just enjoying the moment in silence.

When I'm with Eren we normally just go on adventures, trying to strike up mischief. Looking for something that will get our hearts pumping. With Mikasa, we just go through strolls around the town looking for any good places to eat and talking about whatever seems to occupy our mind.

But with Armin, it's just us and the quiet… Honestly, I think I enjoy these little sessions of ours most.

It sucks that I need to break tradition. "Are you going to join the military?" My question seemed to startle him. Whether it be because of the question itself or because I decided to speak was anyone's guess.

Armin chewed on his fork, nodding his head.

"Did you already tell your parents that you're joining?" Armin stabbed his cake.

"Like they would've cared." He mumbled, placing the plate to the side so he could rest his hands on his lap.

I sighed. "You're right, they wouldn't have. What about your Grandpa?"

Armin was silent for a moment. "Grandpa isn't happy." He said. "It's just that he's worried about me."

"I mean he does have a right to be worried." I said.

Armin nodded. "Of course he does, he's my grandpa. Honestly, he tried to stop me from trying to join, made me work a bit harder the past couple of weeks in the fields. Saying things how it's about to be the season for harvest, so we need to work extra hard...But that's usually when it's easiest."

"Is that why you haven't been able to hang out with us lately?" I asked. The last time that we were all together was around two weeks ago. And it's been a month since it was just Armin and I.

"Yeah. I don't know what he was trying to do. Maybe he was trying to make it so that I would forget about the registration date? Make it so that I was too tired to remember?" If that was his plan then it wouldn't have worked there's propaganda everywhere promoting the military and its upcoming recruitment.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I could never really tell what's going on with your grandpa's head."

"Neither could I. It actually makes me a little frustrated." He admitted.

Oh? "Frustrated?"

Armin stared at the stone beneath his feet. "Well, I don't mean it in a bad way. If anything it's like a sort of challenge."

"How so?"

"Well, I like to think that I can read people pretty well. Something that I like to take pride in from time to time."

"Oh like me?" I teased.

Armin smiled. "Yeah, just like you. But whenever I try to get a read on my grandpa, what he's trying to think...well...nothing."

"Hmmm, I wouldn't say that." Armin stared at me, beckoning me to continue. "A blind man could see that all he ever thinks about is how much he absolutely adores you."

A dusting of pink spread across his cheeks. "Guess you're right about that." He chuckled.

"It's not something I'm right about if everyone can agree with it. More like a mutual agreement." Armin laughed, and I soon followed after. After a few seconds, we began to quiet down, until all that remained was our familiar silence.

"...How did it go for everyone else?"

Furrowing my brows, a harsh sigh escaped my lips as I scratched my hair. "Not the greatest of things I'll admit. Aunt Carla allowed for Eren to go but...she's broken-hearted at the moment. Mikasa's parents...they don't wish to talk to Mikasa for a while."

"And you?"

"I think that mine accepted the fact that I'm going to die."

"What!"

I kept my hands on Armin's shoulders to calm him. "Hey don't get so emotional. You just misunderstood me. It's just that if the situation ever arises, that I need to save one of you, they accept the fact that I'll do a sacrifice play or something along those lines. Either way, I'll never let that happen." It looked like Armin wanted to say something, but right before he was about to speak, it looked like he sucked in any words that he wanted to let out.

"Well, we'll make sure that the situation never arises then!" He declared.

I grinned. "You got that right." Silence took over us for a few minutes. And the both of us welcomed it, staring off into the darkening sky watching as orange encompassed blue, turning it into a shallow purple only illuminated by the fading sun and thinning clouds. The wind brushed at our faces, tickling our noses and rustling our clothes. Bright green leaves fluttered by, as if they were signals for the insects and critters on the night to begin their nightly routine of singing their melodies. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, enjoying this moment of peace.

"...His health is getting worse…" Armin said, drawing me out from my trance.

"Who's?"

"Grandpa's."

"Really? He still looks as lively as ever."

"That's how it seems on the surface. But whenever he's at home all he does is rest in his bed. The other day he even came down with some harsh coughs...I didn't question him about it, but there was a bit of blood on his sleeve." He said, downtrodden.

"Oh…Do your parents realize it yet?"

He spit at the ground next to his feet. "As if. All that's ever been on their minds is how to fly. Grandpa and I aren't important enough to be included in their stupid schemes. Not important enough to care about."

Grounding his head into his arms, Armin snarled. "I sometimes think about why they ever decided to have me. It makes me imagine if I was just an accident, but then I wonder why my Mother never drank a bottle of wine every night during her pregnancy...At least that way I could've died at birth and not have been their hassle to deal with."

I raised my voice. "Oi Armin-"

"I hate them."

I stopped whatever sentence that was going to come out. Instead, I stared at Armin, the little boy who had raised his head and was staring at me with a trembling lip. "I hate them both so much that it makes me want to tear at my skin whenever I see them. Always meddling about in their room making plans of how to take up into the air like birds. But never making plans on how to spend time with the rest of their 'forgotten' family." Tears started to spill from his eyes midway through his rant. I couldn't bring myself to speak. I was a bit shocked, to be honest. But, I still had half a mind to dab at his tears with one of the napkins I brought along.

Armin gave a grateful smile...before it turned into a frown. "You already know that before I met you that I was getting beat on by other kids. Well, whenever I came home with bruises littering my body and blood running down my nose the two of them never cared to ask if I was alright. They never even made an effort to look at me. The only person who took care of me was grandpa...and...and I don't think that he's going to be able to take care of me...for much longer." He sniffled.

I moved to pat him on the back but before I could he held up his hand stopping me from continuing. He rubbed away the remnants of his tears. "I'm going to join the scouts, but my reasoning is selfish. While all of you want to go so that you could protect what you all care about, I'm going so that I can get away from my parents. And in a way to get away from my Grandpa...What kind of a person am I?"

"...Not a bad one." Armin turned to stare at me. "Sure it may be selfish and a bit cowardly, but you're not the only one who's doing it to not protect people. There are going to be a lot of people who are joining the military just to get a chance to get into Sina for free, there are also the ones that are doing it for the decrease in taxes. And then some people just want to die. Joining the military to get away from your parents is nothing to be ashamed of. Because at the end of the day you're doing what you think is best and so that you can stay happy, and that's something worth respecting at least."

In one fluid motion, I was beginning to pat Armin's head. "Also you're only twelve, so being scared of your Grandpa dying isn't wrong. Of course, it isn't the best way to go about things, but then again what is? Everything regarding death is different and you have the right to go about it differently than others. But just make these next couple of days just about you and your grandpa. Ok?"

"...Thank you J."

"Heh, what are friends for Armin. Now get back to your cake." With a nod, Armin picked up his plate from the dirt and began to eat what was left of it.

...Should I brutalize his parents? It's a very tempting thought. The idea of me popping their shoulders and bending their knee's in the wrong direction seems almost appealing to me...Fuck them. Fuck you, Andreas. Fuck you, Gisela. If I ever see the two of you...no...when I see the two of you, us three will have some nice words together. The moment that I fucking met you both I was suspicious, I didn't like the feeling you two gave off. When Armin introduced us to the two of you a couple of years back you guys didn't even bat an eyelash just a fucking simple 'hello' and then back to work.

I just thought that the two of you were fucking rude, and I didn't even think much about it. All I knew was that I didn't want to be around you two. I should've been better. You pieces of trash aren't fucking parents just people who had a fucking kid. I wonder what you two are doing right now, still working on your projects I guess. Are they even the slightest bit worried about Armin right now? Probably not.

Y'know it's funny. I wanted to stop the campaign to retake the walls because I didn't want people to die. Andreas and Gisela were even a part of the 'effort'. So in a way, I saved them. But now I wish that I left them to rot.

Of course, I don't mean that, the anger is just talking. I don't want to kill them...yet.

I sighed. "Man, things aren't going to get any easier. Are they?." Armin nodded with cake-covered cheeks.

"...You really got to learn how to eat buddy."

/-/

Y'know this chapter was really hard to write. I don't know what happened but I felt my motivation to write this chapter instantly crumble. Probably because I wasn't able to write a fighting scene. It also might've been something to do with me having to reread the manga while rewatching a part of the anime so I could copy down the opening ceremony of the cadets. And like I said in the previous chapter, my energy just depletes whenever I have to do that. And I think I know why. When I was copying down the dialouge for episode three, it took me an hour to copy down five fucking minutes. An hour for five minutes...It sucked. I was actually going to include it in this chapter. But I just didn't have the will to finish it in this chapter. Sorry.

I completely forgot about Hannes, so I just decided to include him during this chapter, just to show that he and J do have a past relationship. Hell, I'm not going to lie, that scene was just like a last minute thing.

Also what the fuck?! The last time I updated this was more than 5 months ago!? Sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I feel terrible though. Last update took a month, this time it took more than five times that, I feel like punching myself because it's unfair to you guys. Well here is my semblance of an excuse though, as you guys know I got a job, took up most of my time for the summer. Then comes August and there comes school, even less time for me. Especially when I realized that school takes up my job hours, thankfully my school has a program that allows me to work during school hours, but for some fucking reason they weren't making it easy for me. Why? Because they kept fucking up my schedule!

This is a quick rundown of my routine. Wake up at 5 AM, be at work by 6 and get out at 9 or 9:30 depending on the day. Then I need to head over to school which is 30 minutes away but I make a quick stop at my house so I could change and grab my stuff. Go to school for the next four hours, come back home, eat and be at the gym by 3-3:30. After an hour or 1 ½ hour I come back and take a shower and finish some chores. By now it's around 6 PM, then this is the part where I need to do my almost daily errand runs which normally take an hour or two. Hell, it's gotten to the point that I'm desperate for time to do my school work. I don't remember the last time I was able to write, read, or game for hours on end.

Thankfully I'll only have to continue following this schedule for December. Starting January I'm not going to work anymore since it's actually hindering my school progress. I'd rather have passing grades, than a few bucks in my bank account.

And as a result I'll have more time to write. Yay!

What makes me happy though is that you guys were so worried about the story, it really helps me think that I'm doing a good job. I get happy when I read your guys' reviews. Honestly, it makes me think I should do a Q&A. You guys ask me some things about myself or the story and I answer. Maybe I'm just getting too ahead of myself.

I honestly didn't know what to expect from this chapter. I practically changed the whole timeline which was what I wanted to happen, but I forgot that I would've needed to change what would've happened after. Do you know how boring writing history is? Not the funnest things to do since you need to make sure that it actually needs to make sense. And don't even get me started on the drama of the chapter, I had a tough time with that.

I'm also a bit upset too. Since it's already been so long since I last updated, I rushed to finish the chapter. I feel like I could've made it better somehow. Explained some things better. But, I like to cheer myself up by remembering the chapter has 19.5k words.

But I extremely enjoyed flushing out the characters. I especially loved writing Armins scene too, since his family was never really explained in Aot...or anyones for that matter. Hell the only family dynamics we get to see are Sasha, Eren, Mikasa, Historia, Reiner, and a bit of Jean, and even then there is barely anything to work with.

I also had no idea that Armin had parents, it was only because I was scrolling through his wikifanpage did I realise that his parents were the ones that attempted to ride on that hot air balloon in that one episode. I shit you not I said "Oh fuck me" when I realised I didn't include them to the story. So I got to brainstorming, and found it fitting for his parents to be neglectful, since we only see Armin with his grandpa and with his parents trying to escape.

Mikasa and Eren were also simple for me to come up with. Carla worries over Eren's safety like always, but she has a selfish intent since she doesn't want him gone from her life. But that's understandable. I thought that adding her mother dying would give her worries a little more oomph. Eren wants to go because the only people he trusts to protect his family are the scouts. MP fucking up during the People's Breach caused for Eren not to like them even more now...along with some others. Take notice that since the MP messed up there will be some changes to the story. Note I'm not bashing the branch just showing unappealing aspects so that I can show some...development later on. And these developments will affect the story as a whole.

Mikasa's parents on the other hand were much more...toxic though. I portrayed them as loving and caring but here I show them with another side that I had only briefly shown in chapter 4: Oliver taking threats seriously, and Aika staying 'calm' under pressure. But I didn't want to make them cruel, so boom! I make it so in the end in a way, it's for both their and Mikasa's emotional benefit. How are you going to have a big fight and expect to be in the same house? Only leads to bigger fights. But, their actions will have some consequences...Especially for their unborn baby...

Am I evil?...Or a literary genius?...I'll stop now.

But please note that this Mikasa acts a little different from the one in canon. Why? Well while she is still protective of Eren, she is not as serious due to J being the strongest out of the four. In canon we always see Mikasa be someone that Eren and Armin depend on to get out of a messy situation, but here that person is J. Also because she has her parent's alive and well she also has her own life that doesn't completely revolve around Eren, no matter what her parents might say. Due to these factors Mikasa isn't as nearly as serious as she was in canon.

Development people, gotta love it.

If anything the only real trouble I had was writing 'my' parents' scenes. It was hard for me to put behind a good motivation for them since they witnessed 'me' fight a horde of titans, so they know that J is capable. But then I remembered that they're parents, they notice the mannerisms in their children, so wouldn't it be worrying if all that they've been seeing is J helping his friends with complete disregard for his safety. Makes people think some unpleasant thoughts. After all, hasn't he already sacrificed his back to save them? I'll write how scarred it is in the next chapter, so you guys have an idea just how unpleasant it looks.

Although they don't notice all his mannerisms. J seemed to have an unnoticed episode in this chapter. Being reborn took more things than just his old life...While I won't reveal more until future chapters, I will say this: The irony is going to be fucking delicious.

I've been having a lot of fun writing this. I thoroughly enjoy giving the story my own take on things if just one single person existed. Makes me really think how much life can change if you involve just a single person. Weird.

Onto another topic: REGI! Yeah I'm not sure if you guys noticed but J decided to start the Yeagerists much earlier than when Eren did. I'm not going to tell you why because, y'know spoilers. But I will tell you that there's going to be a surplus of OC's that I hope you all are going to enjoy, since I'm going to flush them all out. I'll especially love showcasing Regi, and his soon to be revealed unit in the next couple of chapters. But as of right now the only people you'll know of is Regi: The Second-In-Command. And Natasha: The Treasurer -if you didn't figure it out-.

Another reason as to why the story took so long is because in the beginning I tried to include so much into the chapter. How do I know this? Well I was writing some dialogue and I got curious as to how many words I'd written. I check and it's about 14.4k. I think that's not too bad...until I realized that it was 10k of it was just pure dialogue. I basically made two chapters. So after some quick editing I rearranged the chapter to include the scenes that I thought made sense.

If I followed through with how much I wanted to include, this chapter would've probably been around 40k words, and would've taken a whole year to finish.

Next chapter is basically ¼ of the way done. It's planned out but I just got to add more dialogue and then start on adding the details and context.

...Now that I think about it, maybe the way I write hinders my progress. What I usually do is write the dialogue because it gives me a clear image of what I want to happen during a scene. So I write all of the dialogue for the chapter and when finished I go back to write the context and details. But I find that part to be boring. Extremely boring. Maybe that's why it took longer for me to write, I didn't have the will to include the details. I should probably stop doing that and force myself to include it while writing. During the hiatus I came across some advice from Stephen King and he says that as long as a person writes at least 6 pages a day then their work will be finished faster. Or something like that. I'm not too sure but I'll try to dedicate six pages a day from now on...Somehow. Probably when January starts.

Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. Remember to review and criticize!