"You're not telling me something, right? Something significant about you, related to me and Daniel… or apparently, your Daniel." the note came an eternal second later. It intended to be a question, not an obvious observation, but- no, he wouldn't answer for that, and to tell the truth, he couldn't, not yet at least, not until that wouldn't be necessary and- until it would be unescapable too.
"As I said, you don't have to know everything," Dan muttered under his nose instead, returning to the working table, and rather concentrating on the crafting. The quicker, he'd be finished with it, the sooner he would be out of the conversation, and this place and from him and… This whole, just messed his mind up again. Once, he hoped, he could leave behind a bothering thought, but at the next moment, another one just appeared and- no, now he couldn't let anything occupy his mind over what counted. So then, he took in his hand a rough metal piece, twisting it into a thinner form. It wasn't like the other one, but it would do it. Besides he didn't have right now weeks either to perfectly recreate just as that had been. "Or more like, you don't have to know anything above-" Dan began with half-attention to his surrounding now finishing the thought, but before he could have ended the sentence it was already voiced out loud.
"…above the work you need me for."
For a second his hand stopped in the air due to the unexpected interruption and cutting in, but then with a hum, Dan nodded, "Exactly," returning to the piece that mostly filled his current focusing.
"Yes, I pieced together that." the identification came, but it was already merged into the background, making Dan entirely ignore it, twisting instead two on-to-be additional 'fingers' in one row to its final form. "All right…" a harsh, annoyed sigh followed his crafting movements, "I see you won't clear up anything, which is pretty much aggravating helping you if you ask me… what about, I won't pester you with any other questions if I am allowed to ask only one thing and you give your word, you'll give out an honest answer for that. Could it count as a deal then?" was it offered, as a mid-solution.
Even not paying much attention to it, it had a clear smell of a trap, that was undeniable. But still, at least, that meant he would be freed from any other stupid inquiring for a while… "Fine." Dan resigned, after a considering second as he rolled his eyes "but then you let me work, okay? It's hard enough to concentrate if you are constantly talking to me. Or, if you talk, it's just picking on me, or total bullshit, so yes, if you are capable to shut it, then yes, it could count as a deal." he emphasized, turning towards the man's direction as he put down the fourth twisted piece. "What's your question?" Dan crossed his arms, giving a patient – as much patience as he could perform right now – look to his eager investigator.
For a second nothing was voiced, not even a sigh, and even an ordinary eye-contact was avoided, by a gazing down to the floor, suspectedly for the sudden attention, but then before Dan could have opened his mouth to point it was high time to take that so important question, it was already started.
"You said you won't clear how you died, or how exactly you turned out as a ghost… but I believe I still might know how it happened, especially with this secrecy you are keeping about it or about its circumstance…" was an internal thinking mumbled aloud, but then the eyes in a slow pace got raised up from the ground, staring right at him suddenly as seriously that not even the words could grasp everything that could be detected in the steel bright sight "I was the one who killed you, didn't I?"
It couldn't be told everything just stopped for a mere moment, but even the surroundings felt as if it had been something utterly else: strange, alien, foreign, unfamiliar, and just… cold. Dan blinked, almost identifying a shivering through his molecules running through his entire existence by the words. The whole then just a second later reached his mind, assembling into the actual perceiving. It was a clear statement, not really a question, and formed without any sign of hesitation, saying out with nearly one-hundred percent certainty, and-
"H-how- it's not... How you-" he pursued his lips, forcing his mind to set up with a coherent thought. It wasn't his words, no, claiming that- that he- No, he would not let himself right now go into that unbalancing pictures again… Then, slowly, with a deep sigh, Dan managed to step over everything connected to him, releasing his upper arm, he couldn't even comprehend he had been clenching on as he hardly came back, seeing through again of the words in the present. "No, it's not about that, no." Dan shook his head heavily, like it would have made it clearer it really wasn't about that.
"It's a yes then." What?
"It's not a yes!" did he get deaf or what? But unfortunately, the arched-up eyebrow clearly spilt about the doubting in the quite immediate lashing out, like it could have been a standing proof in its opposite. Dan took a breath and much calmer tried to near the impossible assumption, mainly to the patient look of the other as if waiting for him to make a confession about it the next moment. Couldn't he get it wasn't the truth? "How- how did you even get this idea? That's an idiot's deduction!"
The man just disapprovingly shook a head, like expecting something else, then with a frown visibly after a brief reconsidering the crossed arms got unfolded, lifting up slowly the lamely covered right hand as if showing out an undeniable evidence in a case. Thought by the pace, it seemed as it wouldn't have been wanted to mention, but there was no way to win the debate otherwise.
"Just now…" was it started warily. "You acted violently defensively. Ghosts don't remember to their previous life, nor their death, but no matter what, in a way, it stays embedded in them. They avoid places, people or objects that are somehow connected to their death, doing it without being aware of it, without the slightest level of cognizance about it. If, something triggers them, they act out of their mind, entirely unconscious of it. Just as you did a few minutes ago. I tried to touch you unexpectedly. Which means, it's either a sudden attack or me. But I have a very strong feeling, it's the latest." was it said, and then the expression fell into a defeated one. "What I want to say with it, that even if you might not remember to it… but you have to know, I'm sorry, truly, whatever I did with you, Daniel."
Did he just- just apologise? But that part barely reached his mind, his perception was clouded, dimmed over the name, over the pressing, airless fog that fall over his comprehending by it. "I'm not- I'm not…" Daniel… his eyes got shut as the stroke hit him like an avalanche, unable to escape the flow it caused. Why couldn't he see he wasn't- he wasn't… Daniel? No, not since that…
"I'll ask you again, where is Daniel?" the voice was stern, so serious, desperate and shocked, but at the same time demanding. "What did you do?" the grip on the shoulder, expecting an immediate answer, was like a jolt, inducing a shriek by such simply movement, hardly comprehending the reason for him that it was exactly where it already hurt, with piercing through sharp pain.
A trembling pulling away seemed the only way out from it, though, laying on the ground was like being vulnerable against the towering figure, on what either the curling up could help, wrapping around the whole body. "Don't- don't touch me!", the screaming out hardly was enough, but maybe it was enough loud, trying to tell the other to stay away. It already ached, so much, indescribably, like burning from inside under acid. Why couldn't he just-
The fingers clenched around the chest, fingers desperately running up and down, attempting to take in any air against the dryness so much like a twisting kept-in sob. But there wasn't any. There was just no breath anymore, without any escape from this searing suffocating either. Because this was just fatal, unchangeable, as every cell burned, leaving behind nothing but anguish, endlessly, without any break, in inevitable waves…
Then after a second, in the silent tense, through in a form of a whisper, it was managed to let out in a mutter, fighting for every single syllable. "M-Murderer…" it was faint, hardly audible, but it had an edge of unmistakable accusing, sharp with the truth, stabbing through him.
A tiny pity glinted in the steel bright eyes, staring, like watching a worm struggling over salt. But then it widened in cold, shocking realisation, with a stunned agape, jerking back. "You- you killed him…"
The gloved fingers slowly moved on the floor, testing the strength against the prickling that was caused by every slight motion, like moving under hot water, caustic, needle-like in every molecule. Then the grimacing, turned into a grin, seizing the words, accompanied with a chuckle, and growing into a laugh, with an unbelieving hiccup. "K-killed him? H-he was the one who wanted to get rid of me and you- You! You served him!" the yelling, with grinding teeth turned into a hiss, squeezing over the torso suddenly, as it shivered through the effect of the lashing out, like using too much energy, weakened by the reverberating shouting. Or maybe it was quite the opposite, giving a straight line to something even more uncontrollable.
Everything became overwhelming, just too much. The quivering was coming from too deep, like the burning would have reached something sensitive, something that kept everything at bay, at control till that point, as the last obstacle would have been breached, broken through, consumed by something more powerful, turning everything unalterable, with no chance to change anything back. The body thrilled, under the last stroke of an unescapable wave, maybe there was some voiceless appeal, maybe some pointless prays for help fallen to deaf ears, but then, in the end, it just left behind nothing, just, literally, irrevocably nothing…
"Don't- don't call me Daniel." Dan snarled, clenching in and out his fists, jaw tightened on the name, especially with that providing an excuse for the things that- no, he didn't want to hear those words again, the exact same words he had said, so much like these right now, and… and he wasn't Daniel, nor Danny – as much as Jazz hoped -, he wasn't anymore- he was-
A wince stopped the thinking, sharply piercing through him, dragging him back to the current scene, back to the present. Now, it was definitely not the almost got used to occasionally occurring biting uncomfortability. It was acid now, spreading through everywhere, like- his fingers clenched over the root, tight, like creating protection over the vulnerable, fragile, already abused part and…
Dan's eyes snapped open in the recognition of the familiar urge to make a barrier over the aching part, on the similarity… wait, was this what Jazz had said? No, Dan shook his head over it, ghosts didn't- but… it was so identical, he- Embedded? His mind suddenly paused at the wording. No, he remembered the deadness of any physical feeling, against- against… but at the same time, the spreading through pain, so awful, so endless, and- his fingers squeezed over his chest, like trying to stop the otherwise inexplicable searing sensation. His brows furrowed, stuck at an unreachable thought about it, looking around for an explanation, but then halted, eyes stalled at the half-done object on the working table…
Even if he called the later added parts as 'fingers' he was well-aware what those were: retraceable claws built-in the already existing form, that made the 'gloves' turn into 'gauntlets', changing entirely its function too, to do nothing but- It was never else but purposed to stab cruelly through a human skin, getting an unbreakable, unescapable grip on the beyond earthly part and- and just… ripping it out, with no further visualisation about the consequences…
"Daniel, look at me." the eyes were on to catch the young teen's, whose were numbly fixed on the equipment, like eyeing a needle at a hospital with a necessary vaccine against a disease. "Danny," the youth's eyes snapped up to the name, to the nickname which he only used when it was really necessary, trying to not hurt the boy with calling as his friends and family had used to do it.
"Will it hurt?" asked a faint voice, but rather automatically. Silence remained for a second, remembering the not so much earlier ran tests on the young hybrid.
"No. You'll be in an anaesthetized state, but-" the question was almost there, that was supposed to be taken, that was supposed to be voiced like a hundred times, just three words 'are so sure?', waiting for any glint of hesitation, but it was never there. "Everything will be fine, all right?" there was no sign of if its comprehending or nor about how much risky it was. "I promise." was it added as a final word.
"No." hands got squeezed over the ears, tight. "Shut- shut up." but when he was capable to stop it, or made these things kept in silent, locked deep? "Just- just shut up, please…" as much as it was ridiculous, as much as it felt as nothing but a villain's pathetic begging for mercy, but- the truth was there, always there, inside, and he always knew it too, he was aware, just- these had been just pictures previously, laughable, remains of something alien to him and- but now…
"Daniel…" a faint soft voice careful slipped into the swirling mess. An old voice, belonged to him when everything was 'fine'. It was nothing but a hallucination, a recall too of a memory, he knew that too. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" it was all just a background voice, belonging to something bygone that yet he couldn't know where to put, hearing it now, so clear, when it was… but then- "Dan!" the shouted name echoed unanswered in the place, in the air, on to reach something to stick on, to get a grip on its owner – if there was any… Dan…
"That's a human name…" was it pointed, sharp, mocking, and annoyed, almost cursing by this degrading, the assuming that he would wear such- "I don't need any stupid names." he scoffed at the idea.
"Well, me on the other hand, I do." the other said, with no sign of feeling threatened, continuing with an even calmer voice. "At least I deserve calling my murderer by a name, don't you think? Knowing what I created. Or you'd like me better title you as they usually refer to you? Perhaps, that would please you better, but forgive me if I am old-fashioned."
In one thing he was right, it was something else, and then, somehow it had just merged together with that… The two wasn't even related, but for some inexplicable reason – maybe after the many things they had 'discussed', though that could have been hardly counted as a real discussion… – most of the things assembled around one, like creating a system, only underpinning his words and- everything just became the part of the idea, the circle around his hopes. During another circumstance, or maybe under another mind-state he would have thought it was a vicious plan against him, a ploy, but he knew it wasn't – he wasn't planning anything for a while, only miserably hoping in one thing over and over during the years, even after that had become unimaginable…
A moment passed, then another, remained in silent, dead, just- quietness, but even if there was stillness, it didn't mean there was calmness, that never would be… The hands slowly got released, falling on the metallic desk, right beside the cursed invention. Like a damn reminder, always leading back to one current point, to tell to stay on the path, closing out everything else beyond the aim.
Dan sighed, it was heavy and loud, he was so tired. How he could be this exhausted? This wore out? This was just unbearable. He pressed his fingertips against his eyelids, to somehow cease the burning inside. Maybe his disguise was wearing off, maybe he was too fatigued to keep it on constantly since that… And unfortunately, when he wasn't concentrating, it indeed was hard to keep it on too, just as with Jazz back in the car…
What if it was that red now too, and that was why it was aching now, causing this weird sensation and- spoiling who – what – he really was? Why did there have to be always a reminiscent of being that monster? Telling he was incapable to do anything good only harm? Couldn't he just forget this all? Couldn't it be forgotten until-? No, what was he thinking… some things just could have never been changed, how he could have wished for that even? That was ridiculous…
Dan bit his lips, jaw tight as he swallowed hard, reflexively running his fingers on his cheek, only to then stop at the oddness that triggered the movement. For a moment, he confused was staring at his fingertips, wrecking his mind over the possibility if that was- but, no, he shook his head, it had to be only his disguise melting down or something.
"What?" he snapped at the blankly gazing towards him steel eyes. The other's vision narrowed to the words, but then got back the focus, only turning the familiar face worried and a bit regretting.
"Are you alright? I brought up something, didn't I?" great, now, that tone too, Dan huffed, rolling his eyes. "It's not a big deal admi-"
"You can't shut it, can you?" Dan whirled to him with a fretted tone. "Seriously?!" he took the obviously futile question. That was one thing dealing (sort of at least…) with everything, but him- how could he be more frustrating anyway than Danny was?!
"Even if I might have triggered something, my boy, it's not-"
"The whole reason I have a mess in my head is you!" it escaped his boiling up inner side, throwing his hands up, on to- on to destroy something or just- just blow up, but then it hit, leaving behind nothing but stunned stillness. To the widened eyes on the man's face, it became clear, crystal clear what was just- "Shit." Dan stammered, his mouth covered in a sudden, already late with the movement or even with the attempt to somehow make it back, or to not witness as the other's expression fell into a twisted one, lowering the vision to the floor.
"So, I was right, good to know…" muttered the voice sourly and hurt, even though unfamiliar with the reason, but- that was just how he worked, even unknown, but the blaming was always there and-
"Damn it." Dan ran his fingers through his hair, moaning desperately to find a way to make it never happened. Why had he said that anyway? That shouldn't have- that shouldn't have left his mouth ever... "I- I didn't- didn't mean like that. That's-" that wasn't the truth at all, because the truth was- "it's-" he tried again, failing to form the necessary words again. Why the hell had he had to say that?
Now, his hands were kept tight together as hard as it almost hurt, shaking by the repressed crying out to just- to just wail this out. He had to think straight, he- "That's- that's not your fault." he managed to express in then in a somewhat coherent thought, loud enough for- Dan pressed his eyes shut, it was so hard to keep at bay this uncontrollable building-up urge to just- why it felt like it was eating his alive, consumed by this- this dryness, this airlessness, this caustic…
Was that what Jazz had said? Was this some remorse, not letting him blame himself over something that wasn't- hadn't been ever his fault? Whatever it was or how Jazz had tilted it, connecting it so some human emotion, it wasn't about that. Because no matter its titling, it was more. That was what Danny (and him) couldn't understand: it was never ever his impact. "Vlad, it's… it never was your fault…" Dan breathed out then, the absence of the words was heavy in his mind, like those always had been a part of him until now, creating his existence through the years as its main element, collecting everything else around it, and then- burying it deep... Without the lack of it now, without the never-ending straining from the inside, he was just- empty, an empty shell, nothing more.
"You just… damn it." he cursed again, elbows falling on the table, holding with his fingertips the bridge of his nose, running them on his eyebrows exhausted. Then after a long taking in and blowing out of a deep breathing, he drained out took the question, sounding like it would have been a pray. "Please, tell me that frigging program is going ahead…" Dan begged, and damn, he couldn't deny it was a beg. The only thing, he was capable of holding out right now here, with him – with this version of him –, was hanging on the running program with his examined signature. Then everything would be over, seeing him like that would be over and the- and the guilt too… damn, Jazz was right, no matter how he tried to see, she was right.
Dan a long moment later heard a noise of turning around, hoping the answer in fine would be near to the end, and not telling on repeat it would only need a little bit more to bear. He hoped everything was on the right path, and that he just had to-
"It's- it's done." the voice sounded surprised too, doubting in the sight, but then it sank.
"What?" Dan gasped without any literal sound. "Since when?" after a quick clicking, the answer came.
"I believe a few minutes..." Great, this was just great! They should have started it or even finished with the whole minutes ago! Dan indignantly raised up his arms, cursing shamelessly under his nose, and just fuming as he took the distance between them, and stopping right next to the chair as the man sat.
"What is it?" Dan snapped at the weird look on the elder's face, most probably to the sudden closeness, ignoring the slight flinch running over the other's features, or on the hardly detectable slow movement as the covered hand was slipped rather below, resting on the lap. Dan snorted at the hopefully not seen action, crossing his arms over his chest, yeah 'cause his presence would have needed such precautions like that… but, in a way, it was rightful, he knew that too and necessary and in fact, it didn't need any query about the rather preferred distancing wariness.
"Nothing…" the alerted eyes diverted then to the screen. "That's in what you claimed you would need my help, am I right?" was the taken in data-processing pointed with the other's left, entirely avoiding to use the right, and keeping it out of the sight, most probably not enlightening a weakness he could have easily turned against his opponent – or it might have just been his reasoning over it, after all…
"Indeed," Dan nodded, getting back to the current issue instead, tapping rhythmically meanwhile with his fingers on his upper arm. That was why he needed this version of Vlad, and- that was why he had to come here, to the past, and… But at the moment this whole felt so weird, a click away there was- there was him, everything what being him meant and- and it was just a simple motion away, and…
Dan took a step back from the desk, eyes unavoidably locked on the screen, on the short word 'open' to be clicked on the corner. It needed only a little push with the mouse on what there was already the waiting fingers, curious to learn about him, to know everything regarding him, but- "Wait," it escaped his mind without being conscious of it, only ending up with a frowned confused gaze. "Just- just wait a second…" Dan asked taking a step again like it would ease to smack this whole in his face less.
"Yes, right." the other, the younger version of him, remembering the lack of description to the task, nodded, turning to Dan for the further clearance. "What you want me to do with it?"
"I- well, no… it's… it's not-" but the words failed him again. Dan closed his eyes, hardly forcing himself to concentrate coming back to the present, throwing everything behind a well-locked door. It was bound to happen, he had to know about it, he- "I…" he started but couldn't continue it. Why he couldn't do it? Why he- Then it cleared up. Above everything, he was a coward. He, this Vlad here, didn't know about anything. This version of him was lack of anything regarding him, about who or what he was and- and what he had done and... Dan pursued his lips, feeling at the moment like he would have been trapped in an airless, unescapable cage with glasses. He couldn't perceive anything through it, but the outer world could see him, pointing at him, telling everything that once he had done and… "Just-"
He wasn't afraid, he wasn't- no. He wasn't running away, and he wasn't either closing things out, he wasn't hiding behind lies… No, Jazz was right. And whatever he planned to do, it was still ahead of him, and- and the truth about him was a click away from- from… This Vlad here wasn't him, Dan reminded himself, the man wasn't his Vlad, his version and- it wouldn't tell everything either, it just… it wouldn't tell how he became exactly, or what he was (a menace, nothing but a fault, in what Danny was right as much he tried to deny that, and indeed, since he was here it became clear too: he was never, and never would be able to turn out else, because he was incapable to do but harm...), and it just-
As his eyes were fallen on his hand, Dan nearly took a stunned step back at the sight that those were shaking crazily. "Shit…" he let out, hissing as the recognition hit him. As he voiced the curse it most probably grabbed the other's attention too, spotting as the man moved a bit. "Don't-" Dan lifted up a finger in panic, not realising he answered to the nearing with a renewed unaware backing. "I'm fine, I just- I don't know why I am doing this..." he muttered, confused too by the unconscious reaction. "I'm not- I'm not afraid, I just- I just don't want to-" then somehow it clicked, clearing his madly swirling mind. 'I am telling you who you are, what you are, in case of you wouldn't know. Because I'm exactly knowing what you are. You are nothing, but a monster!' The words made an acidic aftertaste now. Danny was right. It didn't matter, nothing ever would change on what he was. 'You won't ever change.' 'Ghosts can't change, Jazz. I might not be a natural ghost, but either I can't change.'
"I cannot change on that…" Dan whispered ahead, assembling it piece by piece, but at the same time... the examination wouldn't tell anything about him, wouldn't spill about his deeds, but- it would tell enough. It would talk about the fact what he had done, about that he ruined a life, not even realising that, because- because...
He hated it. He hated it so much, that he had been oblivious about it. He hated it that the recurring thoughts were still there about just letting it stay like that and... letting him die. No! Dan's mind shrieked even to the slightest mentioning of that idea, stabbing sharp through him. He had to- he had to... The planned act about it was like a slap, stunning and crazy, so much against anything he had ever done, and... did he change? That sounded so ridiculous, and- but...
As he considered, that was it. It was odd, but it was the truth, undeniably the truth. It wasn't about starting to claim to Danny or to Jazz to get them easier by a lie that he wasn't on to hurt anyone. He indeed meant like that since- since... since him, since Vlad, his Vlad. And... because he could have hurt him, and damn the thought why he hadn't done it was still stuck in his mind, like he- like he should have done it, because that was (supposed to be) the right thing, but- that was a lie, a lie he was telling himself, because the truth was- the truth was that he was right. He had been stuck in a state all along, and if- if he hadn't grabbed him out of it (unaware of it) then he could have- could have killed him...
The only thing he should have done back then, to simply not listen. There were many things he should have done differently after all, and- that was the worst. In a way he was the same, but- he was Dan now, something altered, something that- that wasn't the one he had been before. Which meant if everything settled, if everything he was planning now – hoping – to accomplish, he just wouldn't- he wouldn't return to that, to what he had been and it was- so eerie and terrifying to think about…
Dan let out a ragged breath and peered to the man who was giving a concerned look to him. Damn, like he would have been someone deserved to be concerned... and even if the data would tell everything about what he was – on an existential level at least… – but that wouldn't tell everything. It would spill about him, but- at the same time, he, this Vlad, would know he was on to fix it.
"I just wanted to say…" Dan started again, much steadily this time, composing his swirling thoughts into a somewhat reasonable state to keep on focusing to the present "my signature… I know it doesn't make any sense to you right now, not until you take a look at it, but it's dual." Dan defined, clenching in and out his hands, not shaking, but rather used as a nervosity reducing method. "I came here because I have a limited knowledge, mostly about how I was exactly created, even if I know what I am…" Dan glanced at the man, meeting with a perplexed look to the last part. "I am not a typical ghost. It will make sense too… what I said earlier, that's what I want you to do, to separate it."
"That was only theoretical, and just a speculating…" the man cut in, brows crossing quizzical over a thought. "And I told you it's not-"
"Possible, I know, I know…" Dan nodded, giving out a half-smiled chuckling faintly to the reminder. "I heard that before... But shove away that part and listen to me, all right?" he faced the other seriously. "That thing," Dan waved towards the halfway done equipment on the metallic working table, "will be implemented with the program you will write through the built-up neural system, able to separate my halves from each other. That's what I need you for, to make it recognise what to. I want you to make it work and I know you can do it. Everything it added for that. That's the only part I need you for, so please work with me, all right? I want nothing else, just this." he cleared, suddenly feeling like he would have heard those exact words before, maybe in a bygone memory…
After a silent moment later, there was a resigned and frowned nod, then the rolling chair was moved towards the computer. "Masters, wait, a last thought…" Dan stopped at a sudden the man again, biting on his lips hard to say aloud the information, but then he recognised it had to be told.
The steel pair of blue eyes gazed at him patient, but again worried, maybe afraid if he could be again got stuck on something, or changing his mind. If that was it, then there was nothing imaginable that could have changed his determination. "A part of it…" Dan explained, "you will find it familiar, very familiar. I just wanted to say, it might lead you to a conclusion, but you are- you are fine, in my time, I mean… you are fine." yeah, but the definition of 'being fine' should have been expanded to a scale, but all in all, that was the state, but right now, he didn't want to think about how much it couldn't be described as 'fine'…
"That's all, that's what I wanted to say…" Dan ended then, taking a final glimpse at the man, then with a great nod, muttered. "Okay... tell me if you need any further clarification," he added then, not that he would have been able to specify many things, if that case occurred, but- yeah, so to say, above his existence, he somehow just now realised, he had no idea how exactly he must have looked scientifically. But the urge to see it now was shut down by the part that had more importance. "I'll finish until then that damn thing." Dan let out, though unsure why exactly he described his action. Maybe he was just stressed. Yeah, that was it, and nervous – damn Jazz and her analysing, and that damn psychology book that he had used to avoid the nightmares (that in fact were memories…), by that he could name now these things… he just couldn't decide it was good for him or just annoying within the other nuisances.
Dan took in hand the previously left behind piece and with a rather numb mind, continued to work on that, wondering what he knew about himself anyway above the sort of parallel remembering to things. Remembering and memories… He had mentioned it too, but- the question of what would happen after this whole slipped into his mind, along with the unknown part how much he would change if the plan worked out? If his part had been out, and... after all, it was Danny who- "No, stop thinking about it…" Dan shook his head, grabbing himself back to the crafting instead. If he started to wonder about him, he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't return back to- to see only what would turn out beneficial for himself. And right now, he couldn't let that happen.
Thankfully, a faint ticking voice filled the air before he could have got stuck again on something that wasn't about the aim. So, it was started, Dan acknowledged, taking a brief pause at the working, to perceive it. Soon it would be done and- and everything would be on the right path... It was weird, to admit, but it somehow soothed him down, just feeling great, calm, for the first time maybe, only seeing in his mind the picture when everything would turn out as it was supposed to turn out, and (almost) always was supposed to be. It felt alien, unlikely against everything, but he would figure out what to do then. That wasn't the most important really, he wasn't the one who counted in this whole.
Maybe it was about knowing everything was on the right way, or maybe it was about something else, but before Dan could have realised, he was already done with the so-called 'fingers', gazing at the pair of 'gloves' as an object, a tool for something bigger, not as something that was cursed. For a second, he took a look at the man, observing the shortly paused movements of the fingers above the keyboard, reading a line on the screen again, but then, a moment later the typing continued. Only the occasional humming told some details were unsettling. For a thought, Dan wondered to clear himself or just letting the man taking questions, but- he was afraid there would have been inquiring about some things he just didn't want to answer, so then instead he turned back, running his fingers on the resting cat on the other side of the metallic table.
"Hey, Maddie," he apologised lamely as the pet opened up her eyes to the disturbing on her fur, but then under the next stroke, she moved a bit, purring quietly under the caressing. "Yeah, I thought so too..." Dan cracked a smile at her quickly changed demeanour towards him to distract her in a peaceful sleeping. Right now, she was just pleased by the treatment, and it reminded Dan of the moment when he had frozen, as out of nowhere the cat had appeared, jumping to the shivering boy's lap, wrapped in blankets, though seated in front of the working fireplace. The teen hadn't had any time to react to it, he remembered he had rambled about it, that he owned a cat and apparently, she liked the youngster, but- yeah, Dan could recall as he had moved ahead to get the pet off from the boy, but then slowly a hand moved, unsure, running slowly on the white fur. That had been actually the very first time he heard Maddie purr. Then many indescribable things had happened…
Dan took away his fingers now from the Persian cat, gazing at her like a ghost, a remained something from a forgotten time. Maddie... he liked her so much, and even more as he had realised Danny hadn't been against her – why could have that occurred (until of course her name had been got for the boy…). Right now, in a faint slipping through thought Dan could tell it wasn't about not liking her or hating him for the name, it just- it was just like with the AI, that nothing changed on anything, on the apathy towards them... and in fact, Danny had missed the small cat too, wondering about what happened with her then, as one day to another she had been just nowhere to be found.
Now, it hit. He must have missed her so much during the years, unaware what happened with her and... Dan swallowed at the recognition, not just about Maddie, but- he knew (from him) she had been placed to his sister's, to Cecilie's. Some fragments were still there about the debate, about Sissy's stubborn exclaiming, seeing it nothing but an exaggeration to remove the young pet from the got-used-to place, moving her out of nowhere to a completely new place, to two smaller boys, just because the teen had taken a weird look at her (but of course there had been many things beyond just a 'weird look' to make that decision that his sister just couldn't understand…), and… but-
The imagination about Maddie that in his time she must have been old and not recognising him if they met somehow (and on the other hand how she should have had, he wasn't Danny nor Vlad and...) was just distressing now. But, digging into it more, that made the higher uncomfortability, like a sharp twist in the chest was that she most probably wasn't alive and nor- nor them, his family, Vlad's family, and...
Until this very moment, he never thought about the idea that Vlad was like he – Danny – had been, remained alone... and it was all- it just was all of his fault... How could he ask or just wonder about forgiveness or to start a new page somehow if- if he had never cared about anything, destroying everything during the years and wrecking everything that was- that was- He had done so much wrong, didn't he? So many things he couldn't have ever changed on, so many things he couldn't make never happened... so many things that wouldn't alter even if he reached his aim now. But-
As Dan gazed at the bright yellow eyes, staring at him curiously, it felt so wrong, being here, being within the ghosts of a past, within the so much reminder... then a moment later, the lack of constant clicking and typing noise drew his attention. His brows furrowed identifying what it meant. The other was too silent too. Dan turned his eyes towards the man, stalling at the sight of the struggled position, elbows resting on the desk and fingers in a slow-motion massaging tiredly the temple, as if attempting to work off a serious headache.
"Are you finished with it?" Dan asked then, as he slowly neared the figure, stopping then as he took a checking look at the screen. "It seems done for me." he made out by the parts he understood, after all, it didn't differ much from the one, he had done for Danny back then.
"You understand it?" came a stunned inquiring. Dan just shrugged.
"Yes, but I couldn't come up with it on my own, as I said, my knowledge is limited, shattered, you could say, besides I needed a gauntlet, specifically for this purpose. The one in my time was old and broken for such a precise aim." he told, giving an explanation, "once it's implemented, it couldn't be modified."
"I see..." the man nodded, seemingly getting it, but then the steel-blue eyes stopped at him, running an undeniable marking on him, observing him like he could have been seen the first time.
"Could you stop it?" Dan voiced it aloud, though having an obvious feeling his request fell on deaf ears. "I told you before, if you so want to stare at me like that, do it less obviously at least... god's sake."
"Well, forgive me, but I believe I have every right to examine you, just as you technically gave me permission to see your inside." was it pointed. "And on the other hand, against being a ghost-human hybrid, you, my boy, could be counted more a cryptid than me or Daniel, so excuse me after seeing it in lines, I am curious to see how it works in practice."
"Yeah, then add to that observing of yours I most probably exist out of time." Dan grunted, frustrated of the amusing, like the other wouldn't have seen him in the past hours… but then to the odd look, guessing easily which part caused the problem in the processing, he glossed it, "thanks to Clockwork's meddling, ask Danny if you are so curious about how I work." Dan enlightened, crossing his arms and tilting his head towards the screen to get back the attention to the current issue. "So, you say it's done."
"In a way..." the man said, with a little annoyed edge in the voice to the shut off examining, but then accepting the situation reached through the keyboard with his left to press the button to scroll down to the end of the programming. "Yes, in a way, you could say, it's done." was it repeated.
"'In a way' is good enough for me, if it is capable to separate me." Dan translated, not caring much with the certainly bothered wondering behind it. And on the other hand, he wasn't here to discuss the bits of his existence either, he was here for one thing, and… by that, Dan reached across the keyboard to grab the mouse from the other side, attaching it to the still applied small card from the bracelets, that could work fine with any other neural-based systems too, but- moving towards the mouse on the left side of the keyboard, before he could have reached it, something stopped him, making him confused blinking at the gripping fingers on him. To the sudden halting, Dan gaped abashed. "You said, it's done…" he recalled the words, not understanding the out of nowhere blocking, "or you need more time for that?" he guessed, then frowned at the determined seriousness in the face of the other, identifying immediately the reason too. "You are not biding time with this, are you?" Dan pieced together; the squeeze though futile against him tightened around his wrist.
"I'm not gonna let you do this." was it stated.
"What?" it slipped out without he would have been aware of it.
"I don't have any slightest idea how this happened to you, if I forced you or something if my ghost part forced itself to you or not, and I am sure you wouldn't share this detail either. But what I know that it is dangerous enough to not let you to do it, just because you want to get rid of my side in you. Even if you must abhor it to make a decision on such cruel and hazardous deed for getting it out instead to just accept your current situation."
"Accept it?" Dan gasped at the words. Accept it? "Do you have any idea at all what are you even talking about?!" he balled his free hand and phased the other one out from the hold, ignoring the tsk that he managed to do as if there wouldn't have been any blockage against the movement. "You don't have any insight about why I am doing this, why I have to do this! It doesn't matter how hazardous it is, according to you, or fraught with risk it is! It doesn't matter how dangerous it is or just- Accept it?!" his mind returned to this part again. "Do you even have any idea why I- why I can't accept it?!" now, it was enough. "If you are seriously telling me it is done, but the only thing is standing in my way is you and your stubbornness over something you can't grasp-" he tightened his jaw, incapable to finish the sentence, it was just too much. It was filling him from the inside with something utterly uncontrollable and- he looked down at his fists, bewildered at the sight both were pulsating with greenness and...
Dan cursed, snarling at the recognition he was near to be out of line, too near to unable to control it, a boundary, balancing between his focused thoughts as the ones he didn't want to do, and the ones he couldn't take anymore any influence, especially if once he started to let himself losing the grip over using his powers, his ghostly side, mainly before it would have been necessary… He needed to stay strong, saving energy because he would have needed it and... "Damn it," Dan snapped annoyed, trying to calm down and cease the glowing a step away to- to hurt. But glancing back to this version of Vlad, it was just hard, in particular by that gaze like he would have had a crazy idea, like this whole would have been about such a simple issue to get rid of his half…
"It's not about accepting or not, though clearly, you have some problematics regarding to that too..." the man continued, "I am more worried about your lies." Lies? "I don't know if you are aware of that or you are just telling them to buy me or Daniel and Jasmine easier, but that's not helping to trust you or your intentions better, that's for sure. Or you just didn't think I'd see through it, which I seriously doubt, counting you planned me to take an inner look at you. But that doesn't give a hand into letting you do something that perilous until I can't be sure why are you want to do it so determined, not to mention you are being aware of its dangerousness."
The voice was calm, but behind the surface, it was furious and stern. Unfortunately, Dan knew that tone too well to know, in truth the other was scared, frightened over something, that was just learned. "I didn't lie to anyone…" Dan said then. Maybe not telling everything, but he never lied. Covering the truth didn't count as lying, especially if it was about saving the others – or himself – from telling certain things out aloud.
"I highly doubt that." the steel-blue eyes pierced at him sternly, "you told me Daniel, your version of Daniel died at age fifteen. And I am, your version of me is fine. I assume, you meant your Vlad is still alive somehow. I might not be informed about the exact circumstance of your creation, but what I could see, clearly, in one or the other you are lying. That's why I can't understand why you'd need such a drastic way to remove my part if it's-"
"Because I am trying to save you!" it slipped out, harsher than it was supposed to be for an inner note, not even caring with the gasping then widened eyes in recognition. "Why can't you let me?!"
"How do you-" was it started, but the end remained in the air, unvoiced, "you exactly know what are you talking, don't you? About its risk and..."
"Enough!" the shout echoed this time with a not-stopping reverberating within the lab, making it only more inhuman each time, like a never-ending void. In Dan's eye-corner the calmed cat, perked up her ears, turning them back and then, and in a flash jumped down from the working table, rushing to the only safe place she could imagine: under the rolling chair where her owner was seated.
Dan tightened his jaw by the quick movement, not sure he clenched in his hands by that or by the words. Whatever look the man took on or was staring at him, scared or just marking, he didn't want to see it. If it was frightened – why wouldn't have it been? – he didn't want to witness his eyes terrified by him. And if, he didn't manage to horrify the man by it, then... then the gaze at the other must have looked identical as on him, accepting the coming fate, because- because he couldn't have been escaped...
And it was just much. At first, there was that constant reminder why couldn't have he just back then killed him and... everything must have been so much easier, but- yeah, maybe that should have happened, but- that wasn't the right thing. And he- he had never done the right thing... But- damn, this was so hard. Stressing his existence tight from the inside. And then- then it was done. And he just- he just refused to help him in that! The one for whom he was-
Dan couldn't even realise when he started to squeeze his neck, nails digging deep into the made-up, copied from a once believed (still believed in) skin. Until this moment he was all wrong about this occasional searing inside, but right now, his every cell was burning, so warm and spreading, consuming that he feared it would eat him alive, taking control and- he so wanted to keep it at bay, but- he wasn't enough for it, he-
"Daniel," the name came, worried, and as Dan looked up briefly, he stepped back, recognising the other was standing barely three feet away, hand reached out to him, concerned. The man visibly flinched on his backing, pulling his arm back. "I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?" the tone was gentle, slow, ensuring about the neutral intentions, but-
"Like I'd be afraid you'd hurt me..." Dan scoffed at the naivety, the other's brow sceptically arched up.
"You are not gonna hurt me either." was it assumed calmly, though for the other's perception gave out steadily, hoping blindly in its rightness.
"Even if you had no idea what I had almost done to you?" Dan took the question sourly, meaningfully, wondering about how much the other wasn't aware of the rest regarding him. To that, the current version here blinked. "What do you think about how I ended up like this? Or what do you think for what reason Danny hates me so much?" Dan continued, to that the figure's forehead thoughtfully wrinkled, reeling over the meaning behind the words. "Exactly," Dan pressed, "just because you are aware right now what I am made of, you don't know anything about me." he was gripping harder at the recognition as it hit deep. "He is the only one who is capable to understand me and if you- if you are taking this from me, from him to change on what I ruined I..."
But his mouth shut at the scene was rushing in front of his eyes to reach his aim. This version of him being pinned down, growled at, helpless against him and- Dan bit in his lips putting together the equality of that imagined picture with- with the half that- with Danny... his Danny... then that shrieking voice that got stuck in his subconscious, not even being aware it was there, it was so loud, and just…
"I can't- I can't do this..." he whirled around before his mind could have perceived what he was doing, turning invisible and phasing through the door of the lab. He needed air. He needed to not think, he needed to not see him like that now, and not think about what- about the many things he had done and- not counting it as his decision had been over Danny, that had turned out disastrous, creating him at the end and... about the pictures that again and again appeared in his head to throw away easily the obstacles in his way and just- just get everything if what he needed was in fact done, and grab it, not caring with anything, grabbing Danny too, shoving away everything he had promised himself when he had unchangeable claimed himself Dan and not being the one anymore, he once had been... because that case, would have been much easier than dealing with everything, and trying to not lose the control.