Hi everyone! You've got a long chapter ahead of you, and of course, I would love to hear your thoughts in a review/comment of the chapter, but I don´t want to ruin the ned of this chapter with an author's note - so here I am!
After this one, we only have five more chapters to go! Thank's to each of you who's been with me all this time! And of course a huge thanks to Tobina, who's doing an amazing job as my beta!
Well have fun with the chapter and don`t forget to write a comment ;)
Till next time,
Shelling
Between the Lines
The grey mist in the library seemed to grow thicker, curling around their legs like smoke, waiting to swallow them. Despite the books that should have muffled the sound of his voice, Shinichi's words echoed off the walls with a dull sound.
"We aren't Kudo Shinichi."
His other two selves looked at him skeptically. He noticed how Conan's eyebrow slowly crept upwards while he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Are you insane?"
But the primary student was silenced with a simple gesture from Bell, who in turn looked questioningly at the high school student.
"What do you mean?" Shinichi just sighed, put his fingers together, and avoided the eyes of the other two, staring into the cold stone fireplace of the library.
"We are nothing more than segments of his life." The high school student bit his lips; the throbbing headache in his temple had blurred into a perpetual buzz. Conan swallowed, pressing his lips tightly together until the silence became too annoying.
"Are you saying that you're the only one who's real?"
But Shinichi sighed, a sad smile creeping across his lips.
"On the contrary, if anything, I am the part of Kudo Shinichi that has been gone for the longest. The arrogant high school detective, the "savior of the Japanese police" - everything... he hasn't been for a long time."
He sighed, looked around with a dull gaze, trying not to notice how the grey smoke crept further and further up, by now reaching Edogawa's waist.
"We are masks, ghosts, lies... nothing more."
An awkward silence fell over the group.
Each of them tried to process the thought until Bell first found his voice to ask the question each of them seemed to be dreading.
"So why isn't he here, too? The "real" Kudo Shinichi?"
Shinichi swallowed, biting his lips before rising from his father's old chair with a tired sigh. God, every damn bone in his body ached. He was haggard and tired. It took strength to resist the urge to just close his eyes and wait for it to be over.
"I think that's exactly our problem..."
The high school student averted his eyes from the other two and studied the mottled grey floor at his feet.
"This Kudo Shinichi doesn't exist... or at least we don't know him." Conan huffed; it wasn't difficult for him to continue his other self's thoughts.
"Because the real Kudo Shinichi is no longer 17 years old. And definitely not seven anymore either." Bell also swallowed, nodded slowly and thoughtfully.
"And he's not American," he admitted, but the criminology professor's voice was rough. A hint of astonishment was evident in his following words.
"But it has to be the person we become again when we wake up, right? The real Kudo Shinichi..." Shinichi, however, just shook his head. Why did he, of all people, have to play the part of his mind that kept rubbing salt into the wound?
"That would be nice... but no, Conan is the mask that I have had imposed on me, and Bell is his, and since the latter, however, is no longer..." Shinichi faltered, but Bell finished his sentence.
"That just leaves Conan when we wake up."
"Won." But the primary school pupil's sarcastic comment was lost as Bell's angry voice cut through the grim tension between them.
"Enough of this tinpot psychology, spit it out, Kudo, tell us what you're getting at already..." Shinichi flinched in surprise and took a deep breath before turning back to them.
"We don't know the real Kudo Shinichi... but that also means he doesn't know himself."
Bell swallowed, looked doubtfully at the Japanese.
"You're saying that we actually have no idea who we actually are?"
"Or that maybe he doesn't exist." The primary school pupil's voice was little more than a soft whisper. He bit his lips, only then slowly turned his gaze back up to the two.
"He doesn't exist because there is no future for Kudo Shinichi."
The little boy felt goosebumps running up his spine. He wrapped his arms around his thin frame while he could hardly withstand the looks of the others any longer.
"That's what you mean, isn't it?" Bell laughed softly.
"Are we really that pessimistic?"
"Or gone mad.", grumbled the primary school pupil, but the bitter taste in his mouth could not be so easily erased.
But Shinichi only swallowed, shaking his head thoughtfully.
"No... I'm afraid there's a much simpler solution behind it. Because if anything... it will be Conan here who represents the future for Kudo Shinichi... after all, I don't have to remind you of what happened ten years ago, do I?" Conan swallowed, jammed his hands into his trouser pockets, and averted his eyes. "No..., you don't."
Everything had begun and ended at the same time, back in Tropical Land. He had not been able to win the race against time for his own life since then; the bitter realization crept like poison into his bones and clouded his mind.
It was over...
"Kudo Shinichi is dead."
Bell's harsh voice made the other two flinch, and yet neither dared to raise their eyes or contradict him, none except... her.
"You really are a lost cause, aren't you? Doubting yourself as soon as you are left to your own devices. Get a grip, detective!"
XXX
"We got him, shall we..."
The voice from the radio was rough and crackled with electricity.
"No." The FBI agent coldly cut off his colleague, his gaze wandering to the police officers at his side.
"We'll take care of that."
Akai's cool gaze lingered on the old police officer who stood beside him. Megure's eyes were still fixed on the building in front of them. Everyone knew that Matsumoto had bought the old crime lab on the outskirts of the city; he had put money into this house right at the beginning of his career. For sentimental reasons, as he'd said back then, and no one had questioned the still young commissioner's naïve purchase. The location and the former usage must have made it easy for him to keep up a lively traffic of people.
No one was surprised by figures dressed in black nor white coats smoking a break-cigarette outside the door.
It had been under their noses all this time, but no one had noticed. The green eyes of the FBI agent paused at the bitter expressions of Sato and Takagi. He had a good idea what was going on in Megure and his two colleagues now.
It would be the right thing for them to bring this case to an end; after all, this country had also once been his home.
"Ready?"
The older policeman's mustache twitched, his face darkened with a nod.
"Let's get it over with."
XXX
In a car a little away from all the action, he had been ordered to play nanny. But the last words they had heard over the radio left them in tense silence.
Heiji swallowed and waited for the agent's next command.
'I should be out there...'
He was a detective, he had not been appointed police commissioner so early for nothing, and certainly, babysitting wasn't part of his job description.
His gaze fell in the rear-view mirror to the two women who were sitting there tensely, listening, like him, to the silence, waiting for a sign to move.
But just as the Osakan suppressed a dirty curse, Akai's cool voice sounded again from the radio.
"Tracy."
The one addressed did not even flinch; her look made it clear that there was more to her delicate person than a woman in a white lab coat.
"Coming."
She nodded as her fingers tightened around the small vial in her hand. But before she could leave the car, Ran's fingers wrapped around her wrist, and the young woman's gaze moved from the antidote to her eyes.
"I will come with you! After all, that was the agreement."
The chemist just swallowed, and Akai in the background also allowed herself a quiet moment of reflection until the voice of another agent, who was already in the house, interrupted them.
"I don't think it's a good idea, it-it doesn't look good." Heiji groaned, grabbing his forehead with his hand.
'Idiot!' They let someone like that into the FBI?
The commissioner was not the only one annoyed by this comment. However, for a brief moment, Akai waited out the silence while Ran's eyes did not move from Tracy.
She would certainly not let it go now.
"All right... Hattori."
"Already on the way." But the detective bit his lips; the agent's raspy voice had given him a bad premonition as he turned around to the two women with a sigh.
"So come on, let's get him out of there."
The house's normality crept under her skin as they crossed the hallway that reminded her more of a hotel than anything she'd expected.
The world behind the next door, however, was a different matter. A few tiny offices that looked as if they had been left in a hurry, a dark conference room from which the stale smell of cigars wafted over to them, and at the end of this grey corridor a lift that would eventually take them down.
The FBI and police were everywhere, gathering evidence where they could, while one of the two guards in front of the lift pressed the button for them so that the cold aluminum doors slid apart.
Ran swallowed, felt Sato's hand on her shoulder while she was numb to everything else. Her body seemed to be remote-controlled while something completely foreign steered her further and further into the abyss. Her heart began to beat faster with every step she took - as if it knew she was getting closer and closer to him.
Their journey ended in a sparsely lit corridor. The space seemed cramped, taking her breath away as they passed the dimly lit laboratories that marked the hallway to the left and right. Led by Akai and Jodie, their footsteps echoed treacherously on the grey floor beneath their feet while the smell of chemicals and disinfectant continued to cloud their senses.
She didn't want to believe that he'd been here all this time.
But when they led her into one of the labs, reality hit her once again.
"No."
But the hoarse voice of the blond FBI agent, who covered her mouth with her hands, was no longer getting through her.
They had finally found him.
XXX
"Get a grip, detective!"
The familiar voice echoed through the image of the library, freezing the blood in their veins. It was Conan who first recovered his hoarse voice.
"H-Haibara?"
An elegant smile formed on Shiho's lips as she strode further into the room, giving the blank books a disdainful glance. In contrast to everything else in the room, the chemist seemed radiant; her emerald green dress was a bright as her chin-length red hair, while her lab coat had probably never been whiter.
"What a fine bunch you are. Left alone with your mind, you start to philosophize about things that are not even worth addressing."
Her gaze wandered over the three faces with a shake of her head. Then, for a brief moment, a sad smile rushed over her lips.
'What happened to you, Kudo?'
But the silence did not last long, was interrupted by Bell's uncertain voice, who looked at the woman with a penetrating gaze over the rim of his glasses.
"But- you're dead. "
Shiho, however, only raised an eyebrow, then grinned when she met the gaze of the American.
"Pleased to meet you too, Professor." Bell blinked as he was caught in the crossfire of her green eyes, while a brief shade of pink shimmered on his cheeks, but the awkward silence between the two was quickly broken by the primary school student's slightly too high-pitched voice.
"Why are you here?" Conan swallowed, the sound of "and how" sounding unspoken in his question.
Shiho just sighed, stepping towards the little boy, and went down on her knees in front of him, brushing an unruly strand of his pony's hair out of his eyes while she gave him a sad smile.
"I've missed you the most."
Conan swallowed, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand to end, while the burning headache still clouded his mind so that Shiho already continued talking before he could react.
She had stood up again, shaking her head regretfully before looking around. "Someone has to set you straight, right?" Her eyes roamed his face before she continued with a sigh.
"You lost yourself behind all those masks and lies, behind the hopelessness you suddenly let into your heart."
"Oh, and whose fault is that?"
The high school student's bitter voice reverberated through the room. He was the first to take a step towards the deceased chemist. Shiho remained silent, looking at him, waiting, while Shinichi continued to vent his anger.
"Who had to secretly make a deal with Vermouth? Who got shot and left me alone?
Who, Haibara!"
But the woman didn't even flinch, giving him a sad smile while her gaze searched the floor.
"It's true; I'm to blame for a lot of this. And please believe me, Shinichi, I certainly never wanted it to be like this. I thought you were strong enough; you would get through this and keep on fighting... but maybe I was wrong about you this time..."
The three facets of Kudo Shinichi exchanged uncertain glances. Bell's and Conan's eyes rested on Shinichi, who bit his lips and let his eyes wander to the floor. His voice was dry, rough, and brittle, barely reaching their ears.
"I-I just can't take it anymore, and I don't know how..." But that was as far as she let him get.
"Bullshit."
"What?"
Shiho only gave the three of them a disapproving look, along with her reprimanding words.
"That's what you tell yourself, Kudo. That it can't be done, that you can't go on anymore, because anyone else in your place would have given up long ago.
Because you don't want to see the truth."
Bell took a deep breath, was the first to recover.
"And- what is the truth?"
Shiho sighed and looked at the three, disappointed.
"You're scared."
She swallowed, letting her fingers disappear into the pockets of her white coat. "Scared of who you could be, scared of not knowing yourself anymore. But most of all, Shinichi, you're afraid of her not knowing you anymore." Shiho sighed, averting her eyes from the three of them, shaking her head slowly.
"It's time for that to change."
Conan watched her features tighten. A dull feeling crept into the pit of his stomach, her voice giving him goosebumps as she turned back to him.
"Why do you think I'm here?"
Her green eyes bore holes into his three selves while she watched as one by one lost the color from his face until it was Conan who uttered the dreaded question.
"Am I-..."
But the chemist only rolled her eyes, interrupting him before the primary schooler's voice could falter.
"Not yet, Kudo, and you have to damn well make sure it stays that way. You can't lose yourself in this fear Shinichi, you can't give up now." Shiho swallowed, ignoring the looks of the other two as she took a step towards the seventeen-year-old.
His eyes were on her questioningly; she could feel his trembling breath as he slowly blushed under her gaze.
She had never been so close to him.
But she pulled herself together, closed her eyes before she allowed her fingers to gently stroke his temple while a warm smile was on her lips.
"She's waiting for you, you fool. She's waiting. Don't leave her now." She pushed him gently away, saw the surprise in his eyes, but her voice remained hard.
"So wake up already."
"What?" Bell's voice was hoarse as the ground beneath their feet seemed to disappear all at once, he watched as Shinichi tried one last time to reach her, but the grey mist eluded her hand from his grasp.
"Wait!" But the chemist didn't react, neither to him nor to little Conan, who cried out for her.
"Haibara!"
She watched as the dense fog slowly engulfed him, bringing him back to reality while she was left alone in the gloomy image of the library. Her green eyes watched the three of them sadly.
"She's going to need you now... after what you've done."
XXX
Ran's breath caught in her throat.
She cupped her hands over her mouth, ignoring how her vision was obscured by hot tears as she shook her head silently, unable to move when she finally saw him.
'Shinichi.'
His body was covered with a film of water, which gave him an almost translucent sheen in the cold, silvery light. He looked glassy, like a ghost, as if he wasn't really there at all.
The far too youthful face bore dark circles beneath the eyes, while on his left cheek, the blood of the old bullet wound had turned a dark brown and formed a brittle path down his cheek.
The pool of water on and under the cold metal table reflected the light and shadow on the ceiling, making the room and water looking eerily alive.
Everything... except him.
'Shinichi!'
His breathing was barely noticeable.
Was he still breathing at all?
But just as panic constricted her throat and her knees grew weak, she watched as a single drop detached itself from the strange device above him, before it fell downwards and hit his forehead. His whole body twitched under the impact, and his breathing hitched before his body relaxed again, while he had no choice but to wait for the next drop.
Why hadn't he noticed them yet?
Why hadn't he realized that he was safe, that it was finally over?
"Why has no one untied him yet?!"
She spoke her last words aloud this time, and it finally put some action to their small group that had been similarly paralyzed.
Ran no longer paid attention to the people in the room, rushed to him, but hesitated briefly until her trembling fingertips touched his cheek, and his name left her lips in a soft breath.
"Shinichi..."
But he only blinked, continuing to stare at the ceiling.
Why didn't he look at her?
Why didn't he answer her?
"Please, Shinichi!"
Her silent cries for help brought Megure back to life, and with an energetic nod, he ordered Takagi to get to work. Armed with a bolt cutter, the officer approached them and began to uncuff Kudo's feet while Tracy went over to him to take a closer look at the boy's condition.
"We've already called an ambulance; they should be here any minute..." But the harsh voice of the chemist cut him off.
"What?!" He mumbled some answer, but Tracy stopped listening long ago, her fingers tightening around a small vial in her hands.
They had to hurry.
The scientist's experienced gaze tried to ignore what her FBI training told her; the little blood on his body said nothing about what damage might have been done to him.
"Careful, Takagi!"
The officer looked at her in surprise for a moment before his gaze returned to the high school student's arms, which were bound taut over his head, his mouth twisting into a bitter line as he nodded slowly to the chemist and cautiously got back to work.
"Understood."
Ran, however, had no sense for all that. Her desperate voice was still trying to reach him. But something was blocking her, not letting her through to him. The container above her head gurgled softly; she turned her head, watched with disdain as the next drop came loose so that she shifted herself protectively over his body to finally put an end to it. The drop didn't reach his forehead but hit her cheek.
Hard, cold and heavy, it hit her warm flesh, nothing more than a drop of water, nothing more than that, and yet she felt as if she had just been slapped in the face when she realized what had been done to him. The drop sought its way down her cheek, seeming to draw the warmth from her skin.
Her eyes were burning, and her voice hoarse.
"Shinichi, please, please wake up."
She didn't hear Megure's swear in the background, as he confirmed what they already suspected - Matsumoto wasn't here. The chief inspector swallowed, averted his eyes from the gruesome scene in front of him before his attention fell on a small object lying at his feet. With a furrowed brow, he eyed the small device, turning it back and forth questioningly.
"What the..." But the aging officer was startled when Mori Ran's voice suddenly sounded in the room instead of his own.
The eyes of the others were on him, perplexed.
While Tracy cursed silently, Heiji was the first to finally understand when he noticed the familiar object in the policeman's hands.
"That rotten..." With that, he walked towards Megure, taking the voice changer from his hands to crush it on the floor. Yet Heiji noticed that his hair was still standing on end, while his gaze tried to avoid Kudo and ignore the groan of his friend, who'd clearly been waiting too long for them.
Ran felt like she'd been turned to ice.
He had used her.
He'd used her voice to...
'No!'
Her fingers slid over Shinichi's forehead, finally erasing the cold and wet film from his skin as she began to shiver. She couldn't prevent her lips from saying what her heart was demanding. Her mind was not strong enough to command her to be quiet, not to torture him any further, as he was apparently no longer able to distinguish between dream and reality.
The longing to hear his voice, the longing to finally have him back, was simply too strong.
"Shinichi."
Apart from her, no one noticed that his lips were finally forming her name.
'Ran.'
XXX
His head seemed to be somewhere else as his mind laboriously tried to form a clear thought while his senses were caught up in darkness and dull pain.
'What? Where-?'
He squinted his eyes, trying to place where he was and what was happening around him, but the only thing still reverberating in his consciousness was her voice.
'Haibara...'
Shinichi couldn't suppress a groan from his dry throat as suddenly something began to tear at his arms. His throbbing muscles gave way, and his cold fingertips came to rest beside his legs.
The world around him came back to him in a loud buzzing, along with the old familiar throbbing headache. The voices that surrounded him seemed alien and somehow arrived in his mind distorted and unrecognizable. At the same time, his eyelids twitched in their attempt to banish the black shadows from his eyes.
Something- something was happening. The air around him had changed, felt electrified, matching perfectly with the spontaneous twitches of his martyred muscles, but something was missing.
The dripping - the dripping had stopped!
The source of this nerve-wracking instrument of torture had dried out.
It was... over?
'What is happening? Matsumoto, Ran!'
Something hot brushed his skin. He twitched, afraid for a brief moment to burn under the hot touch until his cold flesh adjusted to the gentle warmth, and he perceived tender fingertips on his martyred forehead.
While his mind begged him not to fall for such a trick again, every fiber of his body already seemed to be crying out for her.
Shinichi swallowed, feeling his tired heart skip a beat to allow his mind to form her name.
'Ran?'
Various voices tried to fight their way through the dense fog of his mind, but he didn't even bother to classify them all properly. There was only one he was really interested in anyway, which found his ear in an almost soundless breath.
"Shinichi..."
But the moment her voice penetrated his mind and tried to fight its way to his heart, he felt the adrenaline suddenly shoot through his veins, forbidding his mouth to answer, no matter how much he wanted to.
What if it's not her? Again…
'No.'
He was able to deceive you once before, and where did that lead us?
'What?'
But he couldn't grasp the thought behind it; something was blocking his way, while fear and uncertainty made his tired bones tremble when her voice sounded again.
"Please, Shinichi..."
'Ran!'
He ordered his muscles to turn his head, to turn towards the voice, to catch a glimpse of her, but his sight remained dull. He felt her warmth beside him, felt her slowly warming his heart and making his blood flow more easily.
No, this was not Matsumoto.
This was different; she was different.
It was Ran.
"Shinichi."
She was here.
'Ran.'
His throat felt like sandpaper, and his tongue could hardly detach itself from the roof of his mouth when he finally gave his lips the command to speak her name, which, however, only reached her ears silently.
The strength it had taken him to focus his thoughts was instantly avenged - he felt the cold darkness sweep him away, leaving him no choice but to follow it into nothingness.
But none of that mattered anymore because she was here.
Ran was here.
It was over... at last.
XXX
Ran swallowed, breathed in relief when he finally formed her name, seemed to understand her as she tenderly took his hand, but instead of his cool skin, something else touched her fingertips, made her look up startled before she took the little something from his hand.
"What?"
The tiny piece of paper was damp, yet she could decipher what was written on it, turned it over, frowning before the two words took her breath away.
Her mind was working, trying to understand the meaning of it and yet failing every time because she couldn't, or wouldn't understand.
And even though it was the boss of the organization who had left this message for her, her memories told her that it was the truth.
It was all her fault.
"Ran." But the woman didn't react to Heiji's voice beside her. She didn't notice how the detective took the small piece of paper from her hand, slowly turning pale at the sight of it.
The thin bottle label trembled between his fingers, but it was not the name of the alcohol alone that made his breath catch in his throat, but the two words emblazoned in thick black letters on the back of the bourbon label.
Amuro Toru
'No!' Heiji swallowed, clenched his teeth, and felt the muscles in his jaw tighten.
How would he know about it?
None of them had ever talked about it, and Kudo would never-.
Realization seeped into him, icy and cold, letting the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he turned around to the ruined voice transposer, useless and seemingly harmless, forming an ugly stain on the floor.
'Damn it, Kudo!' But his friend couldn't hear him, nor did Ran respond when he called her name again.
"Ran." But the young teacher shook her head while her mind hammered the same mantra into her heart over and over again.
Conan... Ai. Your fault...
The commissioner swallowed, handed the small piece of paper to the chemist, who stood by Kudo's side, giving him a questioning look, before she understood and reached across Shinichi's chest for Ran's hand to repeat her name in a stern tone.
"Ran!"
The young woman blinked, only now aware of Tracy's voice trying to reach her.
"W-what?" Her breath shook, and her gaze fell to Shinichi's pale face again before she managed to look the chemist in the eye. Tracy sighed soundlessly. The last thing she needed right now was to lose anyone else. She had to divert the young woman's thoughts, at least for the moment.
"Ran, you have to hold him. We can't wait any longer." She saw that Takagi had Shinichi's other arm pinned down while Tracy began to draw up the translucent sky-blue liquid in a syringe.
She stood at Shinichi's side, waiting for Ran to follow her command, but before her fingers could wrap around Shinichi's arm, it was Heiji who looked at the chemist aghast, his raspy voice little more than a hoarse croak.
"You want to test this stuff on him now? NOW? In this condition? Just look at him!" But the chemist answered him in a sharp but dry voice.
"I know the risks I am taking very well... but this is our only chance and the reason I am here."
"What?"
"If we manage to get him to the hospital, no longer as a seventeen-year-old high school student, but as himself, then maybe we still have a chance that the public might buy that all of this was just a huge bluff, a deception to wipe out the organization."
She saw how the detective's mouth opened in disbelief, but then he turned back to Kudo without further comment. Tracy conscientiously knocked the remaining air bubbles out of the syringe and looked at the light blue liquid one last time.
At that moment, a part of Ran came back to life - the stories she had heard about the poison, and her own experience of that pain, injected hot panic under her skin.
But before her fingers could reach Shinichi, two strong arms had grabbed her from behind and held her tightly while Hattori tried to calm her down.
"No, no- what if it, if..."
"Ran."
But she didn't recognize Heiji's own fear in his voice, was blind to everything and everyone around her. Panic slowly choked her throat, and her eyes burned again.
Tracy raised her gaze to meet the green ones of the detective.
'This whole thing better be working...' He looked back to his friend's motionless form as he felt the trembling of Ran's muscles beneath his fingers.
She fought back and yet again did not put her all into it, so that Heiji had enough strength to karate champion while she had to watch how Tracy sunk the needle into Shinichi's skin.
The chemist's eyes wavered over the pale features of her former protégé one last time, a bitter taste spreading on her tongue as she thought of how her last experiments with him had ended.
She looked neither at his girlfriend nor at the commissioner as she slowly pushed down the plunger of the syringe and watched the chemical slowly disappear into his veins.
"This is our only chance..." But even her hoarse whisper could not hide her own fear.
Ran only uttered a silent cry, finally struggling free from Heiji's grip, who wasn't holding her back anymore.
It was done - there was no turning back now.
'You better survive this, Kudo, all this better not be for nothing…. it just can't.'
His green eyes fell on Ran, who dropped powerlessly to her knees beside Shinichi, oblivious to the cold puddle on the floor seeping into her clothes as her trembling fingers stroked through his hair.
Ran's voice was little more than a whisper, her heart racing with wild fear and panic.
"What have you done..."
She felt his forehead slowly heating up, his body using its few energy reserves to raise its temperature to fight the drug.
It worked quickly; the only question was how...
"Shinichi."
Tears ran down her cheeks, her fingertips burned on his skin, while the memory of her own pain made her nauseous.
She remembered the heat, the pain in her muscles that had felt as if they were being torn apart, while her bones seemed to melt and her heart was ripped to pieces.
His moans scratched at her ears, making her wince as she felt hot and cold at the same time. Tears obscured her vision, but the young woman didn't bother to wipe them away. It didn't matter - nothing mattered at that moment, nothing except him.
"You need to hang on, please, Shinichi!"
She swallowed; the lump in her throat made it almost impossible to breathe.
'Please, Shinichi, don't leave me alone now.'
"Shinichi!"
But even before her whisper could touch his cheek, he winced under the first spasm of his heart, his trembling fingers instinctively clawing at his chest as if to free the darn thing from its prison.
She heard Heiji's question, yet she barely understood his voice. He sounded infinitely distant but clearly concerned.
"Is that normal?" he asked the chemist next to him.
Tracy, however, didn't answer him. She was biting her lips, letting her hand rest on Shinichi's shoulder, ignoring the burning heat of his skin as it bored into her own.
'Please…'
Ran was unaware of the oppressive silence that was slowly fueling panic in the others present. Sweat poured out of Shinichi's pores as his body writhed once more and a hoarse cry left his throat.
"Stay with me… please!"
She squinched her eyes shut, unable to watch any longer, as she noticed a white mist slowly emanating from him - as if the sweat on his skin was evaporating, enveloping him more and more.
His hand twitched under hers while his face was almost swallowed by the mist. The poison was taking him away from her.
'No.'
"Shinichi!"
But his scream that mingled with her own, shook everyone to the core and echoed through the cold building.
Only then a deceptive silence returned.
XXX
The pain catapulted him back into the refuges of his mind. He could hear himself moaning and screaming, but neither the searing heat nor the tearing pain of his muscles reached him here.
He swallowed; that was probably not a good sign.
Conan struggled to get up and looked around his latest fantasy because it could hardly be called a room.
White - nothing but pure white, one could not see how far it reached, nor whether there was an above and a below. Only the fact that the other two were also here and were just picking themselves up from the ground and looking around as well made it clear that there had to be at least something like a floor.
Bell's voice resounded ghostly into the white nothingness after he had been the first of them to bring himself to speak.
"Where are we?"
Conan just rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets as he let more than a little sarcasm flow into his tone.
"Do you seriously think we can answer that question when you yourself don't know?"
Bell only gave him a disdainful look, was about to say something in reply when a shrill scream broke the silence. Neither of them had to think long to realize that it was their own.
However, the voice didn't stay alone for long.
"Shinichi!"
Her voice made the white room tremble, almost sending Conan back to his bottom, keeping his balance with great difficulty.
After that, everything around them became dead silent.
Conan swallowed, blinking hard, trying to shoo away the numb feeling in his head that was trying to drag his mind into the darkness.
"Ran... she was there. I-I thought it was over, but what..."
He looked up, realized that his two older counterparts were also holding their heads, but this only added to the fear in his high-pitched voice.
"What's happening..."
The primary schoolers shaky voice caused the other two to stir before their worried glances briefly met each other, but none of them was in a position to answer Conan because certainly none of them wanted to say it aloud.
The high school student gritted his teeth, the bright surroundings stung in his eyes, making them burn as he found it increasingly difficult to form a clear thought.
Maybe Matsumoto wanted to put an end to it. Yet the pain had felt different, almost- almost like-
'But that's impossible...'
He swallowed; the lump in his throat grew while he tried to suppress his panic.
He looked around to the others, whose gazes were slowly becoming glassy. They would certainly not be able to withstand the darkness that was reaching for them for much longer.
But they had to; they couldn't give up now. Haibara was right - Ran was waiting after all...
'Ran.'
Shinichi gasped, ran a hasty hand over his eyes. She was there, probably at his side now, and yet she was so far away at that moment that he didn't even feel her close to him.
"Damn!"
Letting her go… would never be that easy again.
Bell looked up when he heard Shinichi's gasping curse. He had a good idea what was going on in the high school student's head, how easy it would be to just give up now, to let himself fall into that warm black hole where all his worries no longer existed. The American swallowed, feeling his drained body yearning to finally find peace, and yet they fought it.
Why?
Because something in Ran's desperate voice promised them hope where he saw none, whatever was going on out there, whatever had happened, Ran was counting on him.
He couldn't - couldn't - leave her alone now.
Why not?
The criminology professor bit his lips. What was the point of making her wait any longer? The Kudo Shinichi she was waiting for didn't exist anymore, so why should he torment her any further, promising her and himself something that would never happen?
Never.
'No, pull yourself together!'
But just as he'd driven the bitter words from his throbbing mind with a shake of his head, something else caught his attention - a sound.
"Steps?"
Bell's voice let the other two look up. Indeed it sounded as if something or someone was slowly approaching them. They peered out into the white darkness, from where a figure slowly emerged, outlines of a shadow, nothing more.
"Who-?" But Bell's words got stuck in his throat, his fingertips had begun to tingle. He swallowed, raised his hand in front of his face, only to watch his fingertips slowly dissolve into thin air and disintegrate into shiny golden dust, carried away by an invisible wind to the figure in the white shadow.
The other two looked at him in panic, only now noticing that the process got hold of their bodies as well. Piece by piece, William Bell, Kudo Shinichi, and Edogawa Conan disappeared, dissolved into fine, luminous dust, swallowed by the figure behind the dense white mist.
Then Shinichi's gaze turned to Bell. The shock and panic were gone from his features, and as his face turned to golden mist, a relieved smile appeared on his lips. He nodded to the detective one last time before the last remnants of him were whisked away.
Bell no longer heard Conan's horrified cry, whose heart hammered against his ribcage in sheer panic as he watched the figure in the mist absorb the remains of his American self.
"No!"
Frightened, he looked at the high school student at his side, who did nothing but watch in fascination as his hands dissolved into nothingness.
Conan recognized in amazement how a small smile formed on Shinichi's lips as well when he looked towards the figure coming towards them.
"Looks like I was right after all..."
The little boy blinked in shock before panic burst out of him.
"What are you talking about?!" The primary schooler's shrill voice crumbled; he gestured wildly with one hand while his other arm was already out of sight. "And why the hell are you two so quiet? Bell, we- what's happening?"
Shinichi, however, only looked at him briefly, watching as the shiny dust took his legs, still climbing upwards.
But there was a knowing smile on his lips that, with his last words, dissolved into the golden mist along with his face.
"It's over, Conan."
Conan's eyes grew wide as he watched his second self dispel into smoke, leaving him all alone for the first time.
"No, NO!"
While panic vibrated in his bones, his voice echoed low and lonely in the white nothingness.
"Come back..."
He swallowed; his gaze turned anxiously back to the figure with whom he was now alone and who was slowly coming closer and closer to him.
The figure seemed to detach itself more and more from the white mist as more of himself disappeared.
"No, go away!"
He wanted to avoid the monster that slowly ate his spirit. He took a step back, but there was only the void.
He fell and landed, cursing, on what was left of his back.
"What-?" But the question stuck in his throat as he looked down. The golden dust had taken one of his legs and was now eating a hole in his stomach so that only half of him was left. With difficulty, he straightened up, trying to flee from the strange figure that was coming closer without mercy.
Terror crept under his skin as the footsteps finally stopped in front of him. Conan flinched, narrowed his eyes, and waited for the monster to finish him off.
But instead, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. There was little more left of the small boy than part of his upper body, head, and face. But this time, he did not fall. What was left of him floated in the white nothingness just like Bell and Kudo had before they disappeared.
Conan winced as the "thing" in front of him began to speak, whispering something to him and finally forcing him to open his eyes as he disappeared into the remaining trails of golden mist.
The childlike blue eyes grew wide. Knowledge sparkled in them before he closed them again with relief.
Forever.
What remained was a strange yet familiar voice. The words now echoed lonely in the white room.
"Farewell... Edogawa Conan."