A/N: Set after the end of season two. I don't own any of the characters.
Allison sat at the kitchen table going over the numbers for the third time. Their finances were still precarious but at least the wedding had helped a bit. Now they just needed a steady stream of events like that and they might actually be in the black for once.
Mike had gone out to run some errands and she had asked the other "residents" of Button House to let her figure this out in peace. They'd been quiet for a while but now she heard a commotion from the parlor where they had been staying. Several voices were raised in obvious argument and she sighed in dejection. Part of her wanted to ignore it but dealing with whatever nonsense they had come up with was easier than dealing with days of problems if someone's feelings got hurt.
She put her paperwork in a neat pile, pushed her chair back and walked down the hall to sort out this latest mess. Walking in the room, she found most of the ghosts were trying to talk over each other except for Robin who looked bored and Fanny who looked offended but was in a corner, staying out of it.
"Guys! What's the problem?" They stopped arguing and looked over at her with a mix of guilt and relief. Apparently they hadn't realized she could hear them from the other end of the house.
"Oh, sorry Alison. We didn't mean to bother you but…since you're here, maybe you can answer a question for us?" Pat looked apologetic, as usual but there was a grin on his face. "It's purely hypothetical, of course."
"Is pathetic question. Waste of time." Robin offered with an annoyed tone. She probably should have stayed out of it but she may as well get this over with.
"She's obviously going to choose me. We're best friends." Kitty beamed at her.
"We should'nts be talkin' about witchcraft, even in jest." Mary said unhappily. Alison just sighed. Whatever it was, they weren't going to let it go so she may as well play along.
"Fine. What's the question?"
"Okay. If you had the magical ability to bring one of us back to life, who would you choose?"
Alison's mouth fell open. She hadn't been expecting that question at all. She'd figured it was some ridiculous question about the latest movie they'd watched or something that had happened in history where they disagreed on the details. This was no simple question. Whatever she answered, someone or several someone's were going to be upset with her.
"That's a really difficult question, guys. I don't think I want to answer that."
"Nonsense. It's merely an intellectual exercise. We can take it." The Captain looked offended by her reluctance, probably because he wasn't fond of anyone shirking their supposed duties. As their only liaison with the living world, he probably thought she had an obligation to settle this.
"Yes, we trust your judgement, dear Alison." Thomas said it graciously but there was a longing in his tone and his facial expression that made her sure he wanted her to pick him. She had to give them an answer of some kind. So she took a deep breath and tried to stall for time.
"Okay. I'm going to think about this logically. I wouldn't pick Robin because he wouldn't fit into modern society and his appearance would cause a commotion if anyone spotted him."
"Is fine. Not care about silly question." Robin waved a hand dismissively from where he was sprawled by the empty hearth. She hoped he was okay with it. Everyone else nodded approvingly.
"And I couldn't pick someone who still had people who remember them because them suddenly turning up alive again would cause an uproar. So that rules out Julian, Pat, and maybe the Captain?"
"That makes sense." Pat looked sad as he said it but he was probably thinking how awkward it would be for him to appear in Carol's life again after so many decades. Julian merely shrugged. He obviously knew she wasn't going to pick him anyway. The Captain's moustache twitched slightly but he maintained his stiff upper lip and merely nodded.
"Understandable."
"Sorry Fanny but I wouldn't pick you either because I feel like you would try to kick Mike and I out of the house even though we're the legal owners now."
"What! I certainly would not…well, actually I might. This is a ridiculous exercise anyway." The former Lady Button huffed in annoyance and then turned her head away to try and ignore them all.
That narrowed it down to three. Kitty and Thomas were both looking at her with a mix of yearning and anxiety. Mary merely looked resigned to not being picked. She knew Thomas and Mary had both died tragically and she felt sorry for them but she couldn't pick Thomas since his "wooing" would be a lot more problematic if he were alive. Mary likely wouldn't fit in with modern society either.
Kitty was the obvious choice. She didn't know how the young, naïve woman had died but she did feel sorry for her. On the other hand, Kitty's possessiveness and emotional fragility would be much more annoying in a living person but then again, this was all hypothetical, after all.
"Oh just hurry up and answer so they can find something else to argue about." Alison started a little and then looked up to find Humphrey's head perched on top of the bookcase for some reason. She hadn't even noticed him there but now inspiration struck.
"I think I would pick Humphrey." All of them looked startled, including Humphrey's disembodied head. "Look, the poor man has to spend eternity in two pieces and that really sucks. So if I could bring him back to life so he'd be in one piece again, I would."
"You're so compassionate, Alison. Such a wonderful choice." Thomas looked sad but also happy that the woman he pined after was so nice even if it wasn't directed at him. Several of the others nodded at his words but Kitty still looked ready to burst into tears.
"Thank you. If it makes you feel any better, you would have been my next choice, Kitty."
"Really?" Her face instantly lit up with a wide smile again. "I knew you'd pick me, Alison. Thank you!"
"Thanks for thinking about me at least." Humphrey sounded pleased by her choosing him even if it was a useless question.
"You're welcome. Now that that's settled, can I get back to work?"
"Yes. Sorry to bother you." Pat apologized again and several of the others murmured agreement. She headed back to her finances but some tiny little thought still nagged at her. Why had they even thought of that question? She'd tried to imagine before what it would be like to be stuck in the same place for centuries in some case and her brain couldn't fathom how lonely and scary that must be.
The urge to change, either by going backwards to their pasts or forward to whatever the next life entailed must always be in the back of their minds. Boredom was another constant threat. In the end, she supposed the question wasn't that much different than their ones about what clothes they would wear or what food they would eat if they could. Shaking her head at the normalized craziness her life had become, she resumed her calculations and hoped there would be no more interruptions.
A/N: I don't own Ghosts or any of the characters. I binge watched the series recently and absolutely loved it. This little idea popped into my head and I just had to write it.