20/11/1992

Well, that'll teach me to leap to conclusions.

I was attempting to study [you know, for the teaching degree I'm aiming to get which is actually VERY IMPORTANT] when I got a phone call. At first I ignored it - assuming it was Daffy or Porky or someone else who could wait for a bit - but after the third ring I decide I'd better pick up, lest one of the kids had been abducted by aliens or something.

"Hewwo, Mr Fudd here, how can I hewp?" I asked. [I've had some 'interesting' replies to that question over the years, what with being a celebrity you do get weird requests. Sometimes they're just weird, like, a bit odd. 'Can you come to my house and water my flowers?' sometimes they're weird like, creepy. Me and Bugs have had a lot of heavy breathing ones over the years.]

It wasn't a weirdo this time though, it was The Fairy Godmother, one of Snow White's assistants. She also doubles as a secretary when the time calls for it. Like now, for instance.

She told me I MUST immediately drop everything and come to the school because they'd been an incident with one of the kids. ["Who, which one?" "Sorry, Mr Fudd, I can't say. If you could just come down to the school?"]

Of course I went immediately after first trying to ring Bugs and get him to come and help me with what I felt was going to be quite a long afternoon. That stupid secretary WB hired a few months back told me that 'Mr Bunny was in meetings ALL DAY and couldn't POSSIBLY come to the phone - never mind the school - but OF COURSE he'd pass the message on, goodbye now.'

I was not happy with this because I knew - because Bugs had told me this morning - that the meeting he was in was about merchandising LT stuff and therefore COULD WAIT, but I didn't have time to argue the point, so just had to put the phone down and leg it down to the school.

I was running a bit later than I wanted to, so I decided to use a plot hole. I don't usually like them on account of the fact that due to the fact they're essentially a tunnel you can set up anywhere, when you go down them you end up in pitch-darkness, unless you remember to bring a torch or a match with you [that I never do.] But, times must.

Anyway, I eventually made it to the school and ran into the reception area to see Buster kicking his feet against the chair he was currently sitting on. My immediate concern was that he had a rain-cloud above his head that was raining gently onto his fur, which meant he must be quite upset.

"Bustew? What have you done?" I asked.

I must say, I regretted the words as soon as they were out my mouth. I always hated it when Avery just assumed everything was my fault - why was I repeating it with Buster now? Sure enough his face got even more miserable and he muttered. "Sure...blame me."

I took a breath and counted to ten. "Buster...you must have done SOMETHING, teachers don't just send you to the principle for no reason, let ALONE call your parents in. Now...how about we talk about it?"

"What's the point?" He sulked.

Thankfully he was spared me snapping that the point was because I CARE because Fairy Godmother glided out her office, smiling that annoying smile that most Disney characters are known for.

"Ah. Mr Fudd. Would you like to come through?"

I looked at Buster again, but seeing as he seemed more interested in the floor I gave up and followed her through to the office.

I hate her office. Despite the F.G. being well-known for liking blue [She's Cinderella's F.G., I should point out] for some reason she's decided to paint her office BRIGHT YELLOW. All I can say was it's a good job I don't drink because this place was annoying enough sober.

"Awwight." I said, collapsing into chair. "Wet's get this over with. What's he done?" Which, in hindsight, was not the best way to start the conversation.

It turned out that my instinct was correct and that this DID involve Babs. [Six years off knowing her and my 'Babs-is-causing-mayhem' sensor is well and truly tuned.] She was doing IMPRESSIONS again. Myself and Bugs have warned her about doing impressions because not everybody likes them, and she just keeps ignoring us. The fact she gets anvilled on a semi-regular basis by her friends who have had enough of her [on one memorable occasion she was thrown through a wall by Max in a fit of temper] have done nothing to curb her enthusiasm for them, and now it looks like it's finally come back to bite her.

The kids share their class with a few other toons. Among those other toons are some of the characters in 'Tale-Spin' [The ones who weren't originally created in late 50's.] and Babs had decided she would imitate a few off them. Specifically she thought she'd imitate Kit Cloudkicker. Now. Kit was designed as an orphan, which doesn't necessarily mean he's BAD, so to say, but he does have a few...problems. Even being under Baloo's tutelage has done little to curb his 'spirt' and therefore when he saw Babs imitating him [Which involved her saying 'I'm an orphan!' quite a few times.] he eventually got sick of her and kicked her quite hard in the ankle.

Babs shrieked and started hopping about while clutching her foot. Thing is, she's more used to anvils and although anvils can be a pain at times, as they're not exactly 'comfortable' to have fall on you, we consider them preferable to actually being kicked/punched/anything else.

Buster, seeing Babs's upset, decided he'd spring to her rescue and - donning a knight outfit because, why not? - challenged Kit to a duel. Though he didn't think it through because Kit - via being an Air Pilot or something like that - actually has pretty good martial arts skills. [I'm not sure if they ever needed him to DO martial arts in Tail-Spin, but at least they'd save a fortune on stunts doubles if they did.]

They were [literally] pulled off each other after managing to nearly kill each other. [Attention was attracted to them by Hampton who - being the only sensible one of the TT's - had gone to get an adult as soon as the fighting started.] They were separated and parents called. Hark, my involvement.

"I'ww deaw with him." I assured F.G. "Don't wowwy. Is he staying here or should I take him home now?"

"Take him home." F.G. instructed.

So I did - we walked in silence - and then when we got back I told him to go up to his room and think about his behaviour before calling Petunia and begging her to pick up Babs and Elmyra as well as Hampton. Thankfully she agreed.

I then went upstairs to talk to Buster about his behaviour. At least, that was the plan. What actually happened was I found him lying on his bed crying into his pillow and wailing. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" at the top of his lungs.

"Hey!" I said, sternly. "Enough of that. It's youw own fauwt anyway. Why wouwd you pick a fight with A} A toon taller than you? and B} A Bear!?"

"You're not even listening to me!" Buster wailed, turning onto his back.

I took a breath. Then another one. Then I sat on his bed and asked him to tell me his version of what had happened, which was pretty much the same as what F.G. said, to be fair, except he ended it with. "So I was only DEFENDING HER and now I'M EXPELLED!?"

"You'we not expewwed!" I said, shocked. "Who towd you you were expewwed? You've been sent home for bad behaviouw and given a de-mewit. You've not been expewwed or even suspended. Goodness Buster, if Disney expewwed every kid that anvilled someone or attacked someone they'd not have a cwass! And it wouwdn't give you the chance to wearn from youw mistakes. Especiawwy as, in this instance, it seemed you and Kit were equawwy to bwame-"

"-HOW WERE WE-!?"

"-Kit shouldn't have kicked Babs and you shouwdn't have twied to fight him. That's how." I said, sternly.

"But it was his fault!" Buster insisted. "He kicked Babs! AND he insulted Elmyra! He said she was so stupid she couldn't even play a board game without eating the pieces, and she said she could SO play a board game without eating the pieces, so-"

"I'm not intewested in who-said-what." I told him. "What I'm intewested in is it not happening again. Do you undewstand me?"

He looked sullen, but - upon seeing my eyes narrow - told me he understood.

I then told him that as punishment he was to stay in his room and think about what he'd done and ways that he could avoid it happening again until his sisters got back [It was 3:10 at that point, and they ended the day at 3:30.]

I got about halfway down the stairs before I realised that maybe leaving him in his room, which was full of toys and other rubbish wasn't the best place to leave him if I wanted to punish him. So I went back, hauled him out his room and sent him to mine and Bugs. [After removing the stuff like razers, various sharp objects and other stuff that 6 year olds maybe shouldn't play with...]

I told Bugs what had happened later on when he came through the door at 5pm in a good mood because 'The meetings finished early! Miracles will never cease!' and rather than a 'Good job Elmer!' I got:

"Why wasn't I phoned? I could hav' come down ta the school! You need ta study!"

I frowned. "I DID phone, Bugs. The receptionist [I won't give his name here in case someone gets a hold of this 'diary'] said you were not to be disturbed because you were in meetings."

"Dat's ridiculous!" Bugs seethed. "I was in ONE meeting this afternoon - merchandising - forty minutes of useful information spread out over 4 hours! The world would NOT have ended had I needed to go to the school!"

"I KNOW that!" I snapped. "Hark -!" A couple of angels appeared around the house and trilled 'the Herold angels sing!' before promptly going away again. Me and Bugs looked at each other in a brief moment of confusion before I carried on with. "-why I twied phoning you!"

Still pacing, Bugs muttered under his breath. "Dat ain't right. I'm gonna gave a word with Mr Receptionist tomorrow. He can't do that!"

I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach and carefully asked Bugs if he thought he may be rushing things a little.

"No!" He fumed. "Sure, this time it was just a minor thing, but what if one of the kids had been actually injured or somethin'? I need to be able to LEAVE freakin' meetings!"

"Okay, okay." I stepped forward and loosened his tie a little because he was going alarmingly red. "Tawk to the receptionist. Just try not to go to hard on him, okay? He's probably only acting on orders from the executives anyway. Or was unsure if he could interrupt."

Bugs nodded - reason finally getting to him - and gave me a hug, thanking me for helping him in the process.

I was just thinking how lucky I was to have such a supportive husband when he told me he had YET ANOTHER MEETING on Thanksgiving and would therefore be late for dinner.

"But it's thanksgiving!" I said, trying not too sound to upset.

"I know, but the guy we're meeting with can't do any day EXCEPT thanksgiving and he's from England, they don't celebrate it there." Bugs explained. "And - seeing as we want to make a good impression - we're bending to his will, so to speak." And with that he seamlessly went into the 'bow' positions, finally putting his yoga classes to good use.

I laughed and told him he was ridiculous. He grinned and said. "An' ya wouldn't have me any oither way, would ya, Doc?"