After listening carefully to Bugs explaining his affections for Elmer, Porky leaned back in his chair and exhaled. "...You never take the easy route, do you?"

Bugs clicked his tongue. "It's not a 'route', Porky." He said, with just a touch of irritance. it's genuine, like! I...I think I'm in love."

"L-let's not get a-ahead of ourselves." The older toon said, thoughtfully. "At the v-v-very least you have a cu-cru- an affection for him. H-how long since you noticed these feelings?"

Bugs considered for a few moments, then decided on 6 months. Approximately. Maybe 5? Not more than 6 anyway.

"D-do you w-want my advice?"

Bugs - resisting the urge to roll his eyes [why else would he be divulging this?] - nodded.

"I-in that c-c-case, I'd say that you start slow. You barely spend a-a-any t-time with him one-on-one, except when you're either down the pub or f-fil-fil - creating cartoons. I-I'm not going to a-argue with you about if you think you're in love or not, but I DO think you should start by spending more time with him. Also-" Porky added, seriously. "I-it's Fudd. If you just ask him out he's going to freak out and s-s-say no, even if he DOES like you because that's ju-ju-ju - that is what he does. F-f-following me so far?"

Bugs nodded.

"S-s-so what are you going to do?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[The next morning]

Bugs stood outside Elmer's front door and rang the bell. While he was waiting he looked round anxiously. Yosemite Sam was just going into his house which was opposite Elmer's. Bugs gave him a nervous smile. The pirate glared, growled slightly and slammed his door.

Bugs silently flipped him off and turned back to Elmer's door. The hunter was looking at him curiously. "Are you hewe for any pawticulaw weason or was it just to fwip Sam off?"

"Yes!" Bugs said. "Oi mean no." He corrected when the older toon's eyes narrowed. "No. Actually, there-there's a basketball gam? on-on da set - de TV set dat is - an' oi was wonderin' if...ya...wanted to watch it? With me. At my house. With me. Today at 5."

"Who else wiww be there?" Elmer interrupted.

Bugs gave an exaggerated shrug and a goody smile. "No one. Just you and me."

Elmer peered at him. "...Two things. One - Why? Two - awe you okay? Youw face is weird."

Bugs felt a surge of respect towards the hunter. Most people would not be so honest. Not even the majority of the other Looney Tunes were confident enough to insult him to his face. Except Daffy of course, but he insulted everyone. Porky as well, but as one of the oldest toons it was practically his right. And try stopping Petunia saying something-

"Eawth to Bugs Bunny?"

"It's impossible." Bugs mumbled, still thinking about Petunia.

There was a beat, then Elmer said. "Okay, I'm going back in-"

"Sorry!" The rabbit caught the door and stuck his foot in it, an act he instantly regretted. "Look-" He said, hoping Elmer hadn't noticed. "We've worked together a long time, right? And I've just realised we've hardly spent any one on one time together-"

"We go down the pub evewy week."

"Yes, we do, but that's with about ten other toons, which doesn't count, I'm talkin' about actual quality time and so I thought I should correct that immediately and invite you to watch a basketball game with me, okay? Is dat a crime?"

"Weww, no-"

"Great! So, Oi'll see ya at 5. G'bye." And with that the rabbit limped off down the path ignoring the urge to swear as he did so.

Elmer, on the other hand, was silently fuming. How dare that rabbit just...demand he drop everything and go round to his house. Didn't the wabbit realise he might have other stuff on in his life!? Sure...today he wasn't actually doing anything but Bugs didn't know that-

The hunter spend a good solid hour thinking of ways to get out of going to Bugs house, up to and including dynamiting his house so Bugs would be forced to postpone it. The only thing that stopped Elmer going through with this cunning plan was that he knew that that would only put it off for another week or so. And during that time, knowing his luck, Bugs would end up moving in with him. The thought enough was enough to give Elmer a mild panic attack and he instantly decided he had to go today. Get it over with. But he wouldn't get there until 5:10. The less time he had to spend with Bugs the better...

It wasn't that he disliked the rabbit, he got along with him quite well when he wasn't annoying him. Classed him as a friend even!...when Bugs wasn't annoying him. It was just that Bugs did annoy him. A lot. And although the could never claim to hate each other, they'd never been close friends either, so why did Bugs now want to spend any time with him now?

No one genuinely wanted to spend any time with Elmer, except for Daffy, Porky and Petunia. Daffy, Elmer was sure, was only friends with him because they were 'twins', toons who had been created three weeks apart [Daffy being the elder.] Since then Elmer had never been able to shake the little black duck off [and to be honest, didn't particularly want to.]

Porky was nice, admittedly, but Porky was nice too everyone, that was just how Porky was. True he went out his way to speak to the hunter more than anyone else, but Elmer was sure that was just because he felt sorry for him. Petunia he was slightly more sure about. He wasn't entirely sure how it had happened, but somewhere along the line he and Petunia had become close friends. And Elmer was sure she liked him because not only did she not bat an eyelid when Elmer had quietly confessed to her he thought he was gay, but she didn't even mind when he had intense flashbacks to the war and yelled at her to go away or shot at her even. She just came back the next day with a batch of cupcakes and a smile. Elmer appreciated that.

Bugs had never made him cupcakes. Actually he'd never made him anything - Elmer was fairly certain the rabbit couldn't cook.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself against the table. He'd phone Petunia, that's what he'd do. Maybe she'd have some advice...