07/10/2020

Batten down the hatches! Eye on the telescope! All men on deck! Was what Donnie was shouting [in a somewhat over-the-top manner] when he heard the news that the Phantom Blot Junior [or, as I affectionally call her, PBJ] had broken out of the 'high-security' prison that the police had imprisoned her in after she attempted to kidnap Horace *

We had no idea of this until I was walking through the park today and happened to bump into Minnie and Daisy. Now. I generally ty to keep as far away from Minnie and Daisy as possible, but considering I didn't see them until Minnie yelled. "Della!" And waved at me enthusiastically, I figured it would look rude to high-tail it in the other direction.

"Oh my god, Della!" Minnie said, an she embraced me a lot more tightly than I would have liked. "How are you COPING?"

Now. Call me crazy, but that seems an odd question, even for Minnie Mouse.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, as I gasped for air.

Minnie let me go and looked at me like I was insane. Then she looked at Daisy for confirmation, who gave what I think she thought was a discreet nod but was most definitely not, and turned back to me. "You...ARE...aware? That the daughter of the phantom blot has escaped from prison?"

SORRY!? SHE'S FXXXXXG WHAT!? WHEN!? I screeched at the top of my lungs in the middle of Duckberg Park.

"Eh...last week? Do you not READ newspapers?" Daisy asked.

Normally I would have said something snarky back, but at that moment I was more concerned about getting back and making sure she hadn't abducted the boys or anything.

"DONNIE!" I screeched, as I flung the door open. "DONNIE GET DOWN HERE!"

I banged in the door of the bathroom until he came out, pink fluffy towel round his waist, squawking furiously about how I'm the most annoying sister he's ever had.

I grabbed his shoulders. "PBJ has escaped!"

Cue the 'batten-down-the-hatches!' spiel I mentioned.

"Mon, what's happened?" Huey stood at the top of the stairs, looking anxious.

"Family meeting!" Don bellowed, before I could answer.

Less than ten minutes later all of us, including Auntie Beakley and Fragmuffin, were gathered round the dining table while explained the whole 'PBJ escaping' thing.

"Sorry, who's PBJ?" Fragmuffin said, looking completely confused.

Scrooge recapped what had happened about 6 months ago, ending with. "-And ah thought she was imprisoned but apparently the walls are made of paper!"

"Uncle, she probably just hypnotised the guards!" I said, impatiently. "She's a freak of nature, remember!?"

Fragmuffin scrunched her nose up. "Seems harsh." She muttered. "These people are just like us, but with...powers." There was a beat, then she shrugged. "Okay, now I'm saying it out loud it sounds weird."

"We NEED a defence system!" Scrooge declared, banging his fist on the table.

The kids exchanged glances. "She won't be coming after us though, will she Uncle Scrooge?" Huey asked, speaking for the group.

Scrooge considered for a moment, then sighed. "I wish I could say yes, Laddie, but the truth is it's thanks to us - or specifically Donald and Della - that she's in jail, so-"

"Hold on!" Donald said, indignantly. "Technically it's due to Gizmoduck! And Officer Cabrera! Mickey also has a lot to do with it as well-"

"-Minnie got the main evidence-" I said.

"-Yeah, what she said! So, really, we're quite far down the list of people she's going to want to punch in the face. SO - Huey - kids - you don't have to worry, okay? It's fine."

"But how didn't we know before!?" Huey said, beginning to panic. "I thought they were meant to tell us when people who want to kill us escape from prison!?"

"Huey, listen, she DOES NOT want to kill us-"

"That MAY be my fault." Fragmuffin admitted. We all stopped and looked at her. "Well..." She began, blushing furiously. "The papers that have been covering the 'PBJ', as you call her, escaping ALSO cover accounts of, like, crime and stuff? And I was told to keep that back from Mr Duck..." Here she gave a awkward look at Donald. "So..."

"I CAN HANDLE CRIME!" Donald screeched at Scrooge. "I AM NOT A FRAGILE FLOWER!"

Like ANYONE is EVER going to think Donald Duck is a fragile flower.

"I KNOW THAT!" Scrooge yelled back. "I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET TO WOUND UP!"

"WHO'S WOUND UP!? I AM CALM!"

"Enough!" Beakley banged her fist on the table and both Scrooge and Donald shut up. "Either sit down and discuss this like grown-ups or go upstairs and cool down for a bit."

Guess which one they chose?

Once they'd gone and the kids had been sent into the living room, Fragmuffin shuffled up to me and, without making eye contact, said. "I messed up, didn't I?"

"Not telling us the insane psycho who may or may not want to kill us has broken out of jail? Yeah. Not your smartest move. HOWEVER, if Scrooge told you to keep the papers away from Donnie, then he told you to keep em away from Donnie." I frowned slightly. "It's just weird. Scrooge hadn't cared what Donnie's been reading before."

Fragmuffin shrugged and I shrugged back. That seemed to say it all, really.

*See 'Totally Awesome Guide'