"Oka-ay!" Suddenly, the door to the clubroom is violently pulled open, making me and Yukinoshita jump in our respective seats, turning towards the intruder. The tense atmosphere in the room dissipates on the appearance of a new factor. "You guys are super passionate, huh?"
"I told you to knock…" Yukinoshita closes her eyes, deeply exasperated, as our mutual teacher invites herself in with her usual flamboyance.
"It's nice that you two are getting along with each other!"
I glance at Yukinoshita, who looks as calm as ever but whatever image of composure she's trying to emulate is ruined by the stiffness of her shoulders. Unsettled, I look away.
If that stressful excuse of a conversation is considered a positive mark of communication then my social expertise must be pretty good after all.
"Hikigaya, keep up the good work, focus on straightening out that lone wolf attitude as well as that gloomy temperament of yours. Also, tone down the cussing. I have hope that your time here will reform you completely, even if the verbal sparring was a headache to listen to. Seriously. What are you doing, a chess match or a conversation?"
Fatal criticism under the guise of positive reinforcement, the mark of an over-experienced teacher. The professional effect is somewhat ruined by the over-friendly quip at the end but it did it's job in reminding me that this is formal punishment.
When it becomes apparent that I have no response to give, Hiratsuka-sensei turns to Yukinoshita.
"So, how is he?"
Yukinoshita lets out a small sigh which somehow manages to speak of bone-deep weariness despite its length and pitch and all other such factors. Not unlike the sigh of a doctor right before giving a mortal diagnosis. Which is probably not an unsuitable comparison from her perspective.
"I'm afraid this is quite the problem, sensei."
"Which is exactly why I assigned him to you! If anyone's capable of turning over this doom-and-gloom perspective, it'd be the resident Sobu genius!"
I blink. Is that a universally recognised title? Actually, the notion that Yukinoshita is well-known doesn't surprise me at all. It fits well enough with her superiority complex.
"While your rightful faith in my abilities is appreciated, that still doesn't change the situation at hand or make it any easier, unfortunately."
"Care to elaborate on the so-called situation?" I say dryly, "We haven't been on the same page since we started on our abysmal social lives and I'm not clear on what's specifically bothering you here."
"I have several issues with you but your blatant refusal to change is quite the notable one."
"Come now, Yukinoshita-" Hiratsuka-sensei attempts to mediate. I intercept her frankly.
"That's because I don't need to do that. Someone who lives unconventionally doesn't deserve having standards such as yours pushed onto them."
"You're ignoring the problem entirely and leaving it to grow and produce its consequences," hands folded on her lap, she looks at me solemnly. Her eyes are serious. "That decision will cost you one day."
As expected, Yukinoshita is severely underestimating my foresight. This methodological way of life of mine is something I'm highly accustomed to. When you're as experienced with it as me, you have automatic contingency plans, a developed apathy to social rejection, precise neural developments in order to make the loneliness tolerable, etc. I also have several hobbies and such not pertaining to school to prevent the monotony from making me too miserable. I've figured out my existence to the smallest detail. In my opinion, my self-sufficiency is impressive.
That being said, her utter belief in my damnation is unnerving. Her logic was well-sound, and it's bringing up all sorts of doubts within me. Thoughts and what-ifs and insecurities that I hate thinking about.
I had originally labelled Yukinoshita as a rational being. Harsh as they were, her analyses of me were deducted well enough considering our lack of familiarity with each other. This, along with Hiratsuka-sensei's slip that she's academically talented, had unintentionally led me to surmise that whatever she says must usually have some inkling of truth to it.
This must be why I'm currently finding it difficult to argue with her reasoning; my Hikibrain programmed itself to take her word for it. Fucking embarrassing. I'm going to need to fix that if we continue to associate.
"I don't need to change. People like me exist everywhere," I look towards the window to avoid her eyes. The sunlight's accentuating the tiny scrapes and fractures on the glass, random shadows casted everywhere. "An imperfect world is a natural one."
"...That kind of thinking won't save anybody."
The sudden coldness behind the delivered statement catches me so off guard I flinch. I warily turn my eyes to her.
Her hands are tense, frozen into near-fists. Her eyes are unfocused, looking downwards at some mental picture I'm not privy to. The natural serenity of her aura is gone. What sits before me right now is someone overcome with blind, determined anger.
I've reminded her of something unpleasant, somehow.
Saving people? I never mentioned anything of the sort. Did she know someone who had needed to be saved at one point? Is she implying that my ideals would hinder such a process?
My opinions of the world weren't designed with the consideration of other people in mind. It's like that with everyone is what I used to think. Evidently, Yukinoshita is different.
"Calm down, the both of you. That's enough."
For the second time, the tension between us dissolves as a result of a certain guidance counselor. Yukinoshita looks at the aforementioned teacher, remnants of her mood clinging to her downturned lips. I send a prayer of gratitude to the gods, having been relieved of the duty to give a response I would never have been able to formulate.
Hiratsuka-sensei has been unusually subdued uptil now. I would have forgotten about her being in the room if she hadn't been opening and closing her mouth in failed attempts to interject all throughout the conversation.
"While the both of you were busy with your little splat, I came up with a great idea. Developments like these are so interesting, like JUMP, which is nice don't you think?" I have no idea what she's referencing.
"What would you propose, sensei?"
"Well, how about a little game?" She grins, wide and friendly. "Do you like games, Hikigaya?"
"A game?" I can't help but ask. I love games. Puzzle-based and horror are my favorites.
"When two collide in the name of justice, it is customary in shounen manga to battle it out in an all or nothing match."
My eyes narrow. Is she seriously going to suggest what I think she will? There's a huge ridiculous oversight here, sensei. We're not in a shounen manga, sensei.
I chance a quick look at Yukinoshita, curious as to why she hasn't responded with a characteristic biting remark. There's nothing but blank confusion there, huh.
"We'll do it like this. From now on, I will guide troubled lambs to this club where they will be under your supervision. The both of you will try and help them as you see fit. And during the process, you can prove your moral righteousness to each other. Do you see where I'm going with this? Now, let the battle commence!"
"No thanks." "I refuse."
"What's wrong with the both of you?" The light in sensei's eyes dimmed by a considerable amount in the face of our twin refusals. Permanent damage. She'll be carrying the weight of those rejections for the rest of her adult life. "How could society have failed you this badly?"
"It's a childish proposal. Surely, you didn't think I would actually accept?"
"Tch. Well, I'll just have to sweeten the deal then," her enthusiasm suddenly comes back at full force. "A reward. The winner gets to have the loser do anything they want!"
I blink. Having someone in your debt like that would be dangerous, and as far as I can tell, Yukinoshita isn't one to back down on an agreement like that if she were to accept. But I don't particularly want anything from her, though. What use could something like that be to me, a friendless, uninvolved high school student?
"I refuse. Only an idiot would accept the possibility of being indebted to someone they just met."
"Yeah, sensei. It'd be easy for either of us to violate those conditions."
"I trust that the both of you will handle this responsibly, Hikigaya," she smiles at me before addressing Yukinoshita, "don't worry about him. His frankly impressive dedication to conserving energy would prevent him from doing anything that isn't law-abiding. Guy's basically Houtarou."
Did she seem contradictory there or is it just me?
"Anyway, Yukinoshita, what do you think?"
"I remain unpersuaded. Challenging him on a moral level sounds like a migraine waiting to occur." Likewise, seriously.
"Are you saying you can't do it then?" There's a teasing undertone here.
Something drastically changes in Yukinoshita within the next second. Her posture stiffens and she almost scowls before composing herself again. "Regretful as I am to give in to such cheap provocation…"
And just like that my destination during the afternoon of the day, for a likely extended amount of time, was decided between one nosy teacher and her ridiculously competitive student.
a/n:
"You're ignoring the problem entirely and leaving it to grow and produce its consequences," hands folded on her lap, she looks at me solemnly. Her eyes are serious. "That decision will cost you one day."
A word on hikigaya's introspective response here; In case it wasn't implied correctly, he's in heavy denial. He's upset about how he's spending his youth bitter and unsatisfied so he continues to delude himself into thinking that he's okay with everything, and is prepared to grasp whatever excuse is readily present to prove it. In this case, he blamed it on Yukinoshita tricking his brain into considering the fact that she might be right.
There'll be a lot of instances like this; where hikigaya tries to justify and model other people's words and actions into what he thinks they are. I'll point out when he does this at an extreme or if it's difficult to recognize.
11/30/2021: credits to The Sixth Day Of Division for driving me to edit Yukinoshita's dialogue in order to fit her character better.