AN: Just a quick shoutout to McStaken for helping me stay motivated to write!
Count me in unannounced,
Drag my nails on the tile,
I just follow your scent,
You can't just follow my smile,
All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine
They were halfway across the fairly impressive courtyard before Harley clearly realises that she can't present Nova to the Joker like this. She'd reached back to grab Nova's hand as she pranced, in an effort to force the miserable leaf to dance alongside her - only to find that there were no hands to grab - both were still cuffed securely behind Nova's back.
She can see the exact moment it dawns on Harley's face, too - the slight crease to her brow that indicates her worry over the predicament - Nova knows that fear intimately, the terrifying prospect of disappointing the boss. Because of this, maybe Nova takes it a little easier on Harley than she would have - such a thing doesn't make her human - it merely makes her clever.
"There has to be some way to get these things off." She reasons, not unkindly. "We can figure this out - remember what that one therapist told us right before Deborah stabbed her in the face with a corkscrew?"
Harley's cloudy expression clears up a little at the reminder of that, it clearly being a memory she recalls with some degree of psychotic fondness. "You're highly intelligent women... all three of you!" She cheers, taking up a victorious pose with hand on hip. It's a shortening of the actual quote, of course - I can't fathom why you'd want to waste away your lives running around with these low-life criminal scum bags. You're intelligent women... all three of you! - had been the original. Still, it serves its purpose just the same.
"Exactly. That we are. So, let's just think about this like the highly intelligent women that we are..." Nova muses, trying to tend to (with her chin) an itch on her shoulder she can't reach for obvious reasons.
"Oh, duh!" Harley exclaims, smacking a hand against her forehead in dramatic fashion. "Eddie! This'll be a piece of cake for Eddie, and I just so happen to know exactly where he's at!" Harley draws closer to the other woman as she speaks, absentmindedly scratching at Nova's shoulder for her when she's close enough to do so. "All better? Then let's go! Time's a-wastin', and-"
"Eddie?" Nova interrupts to question, following along at a pretty fast pace to keep up with Harley's ministrations. "As in Nigma - Edward? Riddler? We can't go to him for help! I already owe him and Deb-"
"Eddie's a clever boy, Nova. He's not an idiot - he knows simple math - two favours, or just one big favour, is much better than the measly one you owe him right now. Plus, he's still lookin' to pay your Ivy back for that stunt she pulled aaaaages ago. He'll want to get you doin' favours for him just to piss her off." Harley reasons, sounding a lot more sane than usual for whatever reason.
"What are you talking about?" Nova mutters, irritably. Harley's led them to one of the big barrier doors that cuts this side of the island off from one of the others.
"Oooh, you never heard? Pammy hit Death Wish with this really potent horny spell to teach her a lesson. 'Course, the only reasonably attractive fella in Debbie's vicinity just so happened to be Riddler, so..." Harley produces a big ring of keys, making a big deal out of inspecting each one before she finds the right one for the door. She opens it with a loud, mechanical clunk and the two of them step through, locking the door behind them. "Eddie's never quite given up the grudge on that one."
Nova vaguely recalls Ivy proudly telling her something that sounds, in retrospect, remarkably similar back when she was still in the healing process after her transformation. She certainly wouldn't put it past her mistress to do something like that, either - Ivy does tend to get quite impulsively petty when impatient and/or bored. In response to Harley, Nova offers a silent nod, letting her know that she's listening. Sometimes it's best to just let Harley talk.
[ I ]
Ivy sits motionless in the centre of her containment cell. Something is going on outside. She doesn't know how she knows that, but she can feel it... the sensation of something dancing across her skin like a cool breeze. The sensation rumbles through her palms like an approaching storm. It's refreshing - that she can't deny.
Oh, to have anything happen around here. Each and every day is torture, especially now that the lunatics they insist on surrounding her cage with have taken to screaming and wailing day and night; as if unsettled by something. Ivy wonders, now, if perhaps they somehow knew that something was coming - that it was going to happen soon.
No, that would be giving the flesh sacks far too much credit.
Whatever is happening, Ivy just finds herself feeling glad that it's something.
[ N ]
The route they take to Riddler's hideout is complicated and impressive. He's clearly watching their progress on the cameras dotted about, lenses following them in every room - through every corridor. There's a whole menagerie of traps they've passed, none of which have triggered in their presence - something that Harley assures Nova is a very good sign.
Eventually - finally - they reach a wall. It looks almost exactly like a plain, everyday wall, except that it clearly isn't because Harley comes to an abrupt stop before it and eyes the expanse of it expectantly.
"Eddie!" She calls out to the wall, wide blue eyes roaming. "Open up! Ain't got all day!"
Suddenly the wall is not a wall because a door shaped section of it slides open to reveal an extremely irritated looking Riddler. He's visibly seething, just looking at the two of them. "How did you figure out where to find me?" He demands of Harley, looking a little like the answer being anything other than a wild fluke might kill him. "You, of all the imbeciles that-"
"Aww, come on, Eddie! Don't be like that - promise the only reason I know is 'cause Mistah J wanted me to come find you to tell you that you're not on the party list!" Harley gives him the news like it's a gift she's giving him, the promise that she's not on his level and doesn't hold any illusions that she would be.
"Oh, really, now? Why would I ever have deemed to go to that god awful racket in the first place?" Edward continues to belittle even as he steps back to allow the two of them into the room with him. Nova soon tunes them out, more interested in the contradiction of his hideout. There's a bizarre sort of disorganised order about the room - piles of papers are plentiful and cover most every surface, but they're also stacked neatly, into deliberate looking categories - Nigma's desktop is much the same, eight different monitors surrounding the main one. Each one is angled meticulously, completely in line with the others. Empty coffee cups are strewn about the place, but in neat clusters that don't actually take up too much room.
Nova glances up from her inspection of the space, having realised that any conversation had come to an end while she was doing so. She registers Riddler almost immediately, cautiously regarding the way he's watching her with focused intent.
"I owe you a debt," Nova admits.
"Yes, so Deborah tells me." Riddler agrees, sounding a little annoyed that he hadn't had the chance to reveal he knew that piece of information first. "But you can't have trudged your pathetic, mediocre self all the way over here to tell me just that - you're stupid, but you're not that stupid - and judging from the..." Edward takes her by the shoulders and forces her to pivot on the spot, roughly. "Ah, here we are! The crux of the matter. How fortunate you must feel to experience my genius at work."
Nigma begins to fiddle with the handcuffs but doesn't actually give any indication that he's planning on freeing her from them.
"I assume you'll be wanting to be repaid for this." Nova prompts, head angled slightly towards him over her shoulder.
"Obviously. Even a blind fool could have worked that one out." Edward chides, but his tinkering with the cuffs feels more deliberate now that he's heard her verbally accept the debt. "I shall be in touch when I wish to cash in - I won't even try to explain the means by which I am capable of communicating with anyone at any given moment - just trust in my genius, I know that your tiny little mind likely won't be able to comprehend it anyway."
Nova rolls her eyes, supremely glad to be facing away from the egomaniac as he continues his seemingly never-ending tirade. Suddenly, the cuffs fall away, provoking the pain of a small scratch against her skin as they do so. She frowns at Nigma as she turns to face him, stretching out like a lazy cat in the warm afternoon sun. He's just putting something away in his pocket as her attention turns on him, but she assumes it must be a Riddler master lockpick or something, so pays the action little mind. It matters far more that she's free, full use of her body has now been granted back to her and as she revels in this, miniature flowers bloom up the length of her arms in celebration. Harley gives her a tiny round of applause from across the room. Riddler's returned to his hub of computers, fingers dancing rapidly over keys as his attention shifts swiftly between each screen; his mind working a mile a minute as he reverts back to ignoring them entirely.
"I'm grateful for this." Nova approaches him as she says so, but he merely waves her off, completely dismissing her existence along with her rare-given gratitude.
"I'm not." Riddler bites, never removing his gaze from the screens. "I suppose I'll have to pack everything up and re-establish my base of operations somewhere in that hotbed of idiocy across the bay. Though from an intellectual standpoint, the general IQ level can be no worse than this place, but seeing as that garrulous, loud-mouthed nuisance over there will likely have told the entire island where to find me within the next hour... I am left with little choice." Edward smacks the enter key with gusto, swivelling in his chair to fix her with a stare that promises dire consequences should she dare to look away. "You will be of marginally more use to me if you survive tonight - it is my expectation and instruction that you will do so - even the most primitive of beasts is capable of self-preservation, so even a degenerate such as yourself can surely manage to do as instructed. Do not misunderstand me, though - I will find a use for even your corpse - and I will expend no further efforts into helping you moving forward. Do you understand, cretin?"
Nova simply watches him, unsure what to even say after a speech like that. She decides on a nod. "I understand." It seems easiest just to appease him as she would Poison Ivy. At their core most of these supervillains all desire to be obeyed, it seems.
Harley's chattering happily with the walkie talkie she had been talking in back when Nova first heard her outside the office. Judging by the way she's speaking and twirling her hair, it's Joker on the other end.
"Sure, we had a slight hiccup, but we're on our way now, puddin'! I even found time to stop by and let Eddie know he's not on the list - and lemme tell you, he is not happy about it!"
Joker seems sufficiently appeased by this, the rising pitch of his voice suddenly evening out when he responds. "Ha ha! That's my girl! Did he do that spluttery thing where he gets all red and twitchy, too?"
"Oh, you betcha!" Harley enthuses, and Nova actually finds herself impressed by how accomplished Harley really is at dealing with the madman who terrorises Gotham more than anyone else.
"How red are we talkin', here?" Joker prompts.
"Like a tomato wearin' lipstick." Harley promises, grinning deviously. Edward turns in his chair sharply to glare at them while the Joker howls with laughter through the walkie's speaker.
They're forcibly ejected from the hideout moments later.
It takes them a surprisingly short amount of time to wind their way back to the entrance of the miniature maze they'd spent a while navigating to reach Riddler earlier. Harley leads the way triumphantly as they get back on track to Arkham Mansion, chainsaw swinging with wild jubilation as they deal with the crazier inmates who try to rush them. Nova does her best to assist with the occasional vine or man-eating plant but decides on holding herself back a little to allow Harley to enjoy herself while she can. There's a very ominous feeling sat like lead in the bottom of her gut - something is going to go wrong tonight. If Joker's involved, things will always go wrong.
The madman himself is stood atop the steps that lead up to the mansion, awaiting their arrival. He whoops and hollers as they approach, cheering them on as they cleave a path of destruction to reach him. By now, Harley's nurse outfit is spattered with blood, bits of gore cling to her ponytails and her high heeled shoes make a distinct squelching noise as she moves. Joker looks at her like he wants to devour her whole.
Nova wonders if it's not too late to back out and just leave them to it.
Harley brandishes her chainsaw with a seemingly jokey threat in the direction of one of the goons, shouting "vroom vroom!" as she hands it off to him. With her hands free she immediately cartwheels towards Joker, pressing a loud kiss to his cheek. Joker secures her to his side with an arm around her tiny waist but does not remove his attention from Nova.
"Hello, sprout! Been a while, hasn't it? Loved that little siesta you and Ivy threw for dear dreary Gotham last year - that gas of yours was a real killer - literally! I almost died!" He tapers off after delivering that piece of news, his tone turning deadly serious. Joker stares at her like he's got every intention in the world of killing her where she stands, but suddenly the look fades as soon as it comes over him, and he's back to his usual level of liveliness. "You know what? I'm feeling generous tonight, sprout, so let's just chalk this one up to an occupational hazard, hm? Every up and coming, young maniac in this city goes through a phase of trying to murder everyone, so really, I can't even blame you! It's all in good fun, sprouty, so let's just... turn over a new... leaf..." Joker pauses for Harley to give an obligatory high pitched giggle for the supposed quality of his pun. "And sit down for tea! Whaddya say? The old guard welcoming in the new - handing over the keys to the city - divulging priceless wisdom in a civilised fashion?"
Despite Joker's words, Nova holds no illusions of free will here - there is very clearly no choice in the matter - either she plays along or she faces the consequences.
"Why not?" She agrees, failing to summon a level of enthusiasm anywhere near his own as she replies. "Let's have tea."
Too many war wounds and not enough wars,
Too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores,
Too many sharks and not enough blood in the waves,
You know I give my lover a four letter name