CALCULATING...

Random assimilated data indicates 'fanfic' are normal parameters of this site. Data indicates 'plot' should be contained within. Data indicates 'main character' and 'secondary character' are common, and that 'fanfic' come in categories. Fanfics often have reviews, which this unit is incapable of understanding, but will make randomized, appropriate responses... Now attempting to appear as human... loading new program... loading...

Welcome; this unit shall be anonymous. It is this unit's idea of a joke. This unit is actually human. I am human. Do you not believe me? b f d csay good thing good thing is good yes I heart you. Genre: Pokemon, is nonserious, yes? This unit jokes. Humans joke. I write.

Data indicates humans review. I review. No begging. This unit's reviewing capabilities are randomized. Incapable of responding to PMs. Good day, good day, good day, good day, good day. b x dz. Extrapolating. Inputting data into clear text file, exiting program b b b. Clearing trash.

More Recently:

Used to go by 'amnothuman', hence the above joke. :P I can't guarantee that the older stuff is any good. I'm extremely embarrassed how little I knew about Africa when I started writing Ushujaa. Still don't know as much as I prolly should.

I like to think aloud a lot, but I am not particularly attached to any sort of viewpoint, except the typical 'do not be a jackass' one. I used to be very into gritty realism, taking the worst possible view of anything, and interpreted lack of realism as a flaw but lately I've been finding more value in the absurd. I've always liked humor, though.

I am a recluse. Because people are terrifying and I'm really shy. ...and my email is broken, but that's another story, a story of laziness.

Please don't spam my fics with comments that make it clear you didn't even read my story. You are welcome to put fanfic recs in reviews if they are relevant, however. You are also welcome to steal any of my ideas that you want, I'm not one of those weirdly possessive authors who seem to have forgotten they're writing fanfic, just don't do something weird and illegal like sell my story for cash.

My Fanfics:

Stories I currently have some plans to update at some point:

The Guardian Light in the Night, Fluffiest Eternal Dragon, Scrim

Others are generally 'maybes' depending entirely on my mood, unless marked 'complete'.

I've been really struggling with motivation lately, so it may be awhile. I really liked the concept of Forced Empathy but feel I could have written it better, and got myself into a bit of a hole: I set a thing up (Riddle's asexuality) specifically to avoid having to deal with certain human nastinesses, and then realized I left a plot hole that would lead to that situation anyway... :/ And I've just been feeling dissatisfied with my work in general, I guess. It also doesn't help Rowling turned out to be a giant transphobe.

My highest reviewed stories are Zombie Cat Science, which has a suicidal nonbinary character who reincarnates into different bodies of different genders as a twist on the 'self insert' genre', and Dragon Captain Ushujaa, which, uh, could definitely have been written less haphazardly, but people like it, I guess. Zombie Science was definitely better written and I feel more original.

I admit I find it depressing that there's a general theme in my stories: I feel like the more cliche they are the more likely they are to get a lot of reviews, with the exception of Zombie but that's probably because Zombie is longest and so shows up in more searches and has more to review in the first place. For instance, the one-shot I get the most begging to continue? Is a cliche fixit 'Snape mentors Harry' story that I honestly have no muse for. There must be a billion of those on this site already. But it got 26 reviews for one chapter. Do you know how often I get 26 reviews for one chapter? Pretty rarely!

Sooo half the time I go looking at my fanfic and going 'oh gods this sucks, I should have chosen to do X instead of Y'. Also find myself wishing I could turn off looking at review counts. They drive me a little nuttier than they should. :P It's just a reminder that not everyone shares my tastes.

On Dragon Slayer, I feel like maybe I critiqued Hiccup a bit too strongly and made some people dislike or hate him (one person called him a spoiled brat) and, yeah, he was kind of spoiled (it was how he came off to me in fridge-logic), but he's also an oblivious teenager, and had no way of knowing him leaving would lead to so much disaster? I guess I should be proud if I managed to put a dent in the Hiccup love, since the point of the fic was to show other characters could be interesting for once and that the whole chosen boy nerd savior thing gets old (not all versions of Hiccup use that, but some do; I'm thinking of fanfics where Hiccup demands everyone worship at his feet for being mean to him and everyone else is an idiot). Still, if it made anyone feel that way, I didn't want to tip it into outright hate of Hiccup. I wanted him to be more human, rather than the guy who 'constantly tells other people they are wrong for not noticing really obvious thing that the writers intentionally wrote them as too stupid to notice'.