A/N: Of all the chapters in this story, this one right here is going to be the hardest to edit through. On October 18th, 2021 my mother passed away. I mentioned that this might be the outcome of her illness in the previous chapter's author's note, so there's no need to really rehash anything I said before. What I will say is that Golden Strands has become a story in which I can express a plethora of feelings that stem from things I've gone through. This chapter is no different. However, I am now writing from a lens of knowing firsthand what it's like to lose a mother (although the circumstances of my mom's death were not nearly as extreme as what's depicted in this. She'd been sick off and on for most of my life. She was ready to go be with God and I have made peace with that. She died with a smile on her face and I got to spend some really nice quality time with her in those final days. We even celebrated Christmas early, which was fun so. God is good.) Of course, well...this chapter...let's just get to it and you'll see what I'm trying to say here. This is an emotionally tough chapter for me to edit through. I wrote the draft before my mother's death and I'm editing it in the aftermath. I'm heartbroken but I am also so grateful to God for the mother I had. She was the best. She was so strong, so brave, and so beautiful. I miss her, but she is still here with me. I see her in my reflection. I hear her in the music we both loved. And I feel her presence strengthening me as I write these words. One of the most important things she taught me was how to endure and move forward from tragedy. Because life goes on, and she wouldn't want me to be sad. Today is October 21st, 2021. It would have been her 56th birthday today. Mama, this one's for you.

Disclaimer: No time for this. You guys know the drill by now.

Warnings: This is an emotionally charged chapter taken directly from personal heartache I channeled into it. Raw grief is here. Keep that in mind as you read this. Thank you and God bless you all.

Additional Note: Chapter 54 and 55 are named after a song featured in NieR: Automata's DLC: Deserving of Life by amazarashi. While I did not listen to this song while writing either chapter, I feel it conveys the spirit of both these chapters. Definitely check it out if you wish.

Chapter 55

Deserving of Life Part 2

December 21st, 2017
11:55 p.m.

I've heard a lot of people say time flies when you're having fun. I've probably said it a few times too. Any time I spend with Yugi, Téa, and Tristan always seems to go at lightning speed. The nights my dad saw fit to beat me always went at a snail's pace. All of the horrible things in my life seemed to slow to a crawl while the best things never stuck around long enough for me to truly appreciate them. Perhaps that's just how life is.

Tonight was different. Aspects of time during my journey to find Mina were so slow it felt like time had just stopped altogether. It felt like the turmoil would just keep going on and on without end.

And then...in a haze of desperation, I pressed a gun to the back of Serena's head. Suddenly, time moved so fast that there was no real way for me to process it. Words, movements, and sensations passed over me in a blur of chaos. In one moment I'm holding a gun to a girl's head, the same girl who offered me solace and protection as we ventured through the carnage Mina left behind. In the next moment, I'm shifting on my heels to point the gun at D.D., who entered through the doorway so casually that for two seconds I thought we were all living in a bizarre sitcom revolving around him and his murderous antics.

Serena doesn't miss a beat. She antagonizes him about E.E.'s death then leaps into combat while Kara struggles to stand and load her gun.

All the while I stand there with my hands trembling around the gun. I try to follow Serena and D.D.'s movements as they loop around each other, attacking and defending in equal measure. My heart pounds watching them, but their expressions of grim determination and hopelessness are all that really register to me. D.D. looks particularly unhinged, fighting as if he has nothing to live for now that E.E. is gone. The meatball head wears a similar expression, and I don't know whether or not she's coming back to her senses or spiraling further into madness with each word he says to her.

All of it comes across to me as white noise. I see D.D.'s mouth moving but I don't hear anything. Can't hear anything.

"What do I do? How should I react? What moves should I make? Should I run? Should I shoot? Should I do anything at all?"

In rapid fire all these questions and feelings spin on repeat in my head as if they're going through a rinse cycle in the old washing machine back home. I felt like I needed to scream but couldn't find the energy to actually do it. Am I suffocating? Am I just a breath away from death? If so, then why can't I scream? Why am I unable to let myself have that release? Why am I always facing the consequences of everyone else's mistakes?

Even at my breaking point I'm a prisoner to circumstance. My own body traps me...won't let me surrender to the pain.

When Mina wraps her arm around my waist, sound abruptly returns to me. The vicious clang of D.D.'s knife scraping along Serena's scepter slaps me into reality so fiercely that I can barely draw in a breath.

What shocks me more though is feeling Mina's shaky, haphazard breaths against my back. The scent of blood and sweat mingle together on her skin. It's an invasion to my personal space, but right now I don't even care. The instant she touched me, she took ownership of me in ways she couldn't have possibly known or understood.

I don't even understand it.

"M-Mina...?"

Without a word she shakily lifts a gold-framed mirror in front of me. Glancing between that mirror and the fight, I ask her what she's doing.

"Getting you out of here. And then I'll..."

Mina doesn't finish her sentence. Out of nowhere she starts to cough, and while I don't look down, I can hear and feel blood splashing against my ankles. On instinct I press one of my hands against hers along my stomach, hoping that will be enough to keep her standing even as her breaths continue to falter into a dry wheezing.

"She's...she's going to..."

A piercing wail erupts through the room. My attention is immediately drawn to the switchblade in D.D.'s hand. Small as it is, there's blood on it. Serena's blood.

Looking at her, I see the wound along her arm, near her shoulder.

The two aren't still for long. She dives into another attack, dodging D.D. to the best of her ability, but Serena is no fighter. I can tell from the way she moves that she hasn't experienced one on one fights like this a lot. She probably does better fighting from a distance rather than close-range.

Pressing my hand more firmly against Mina's, I aim the gun toward the immortal and shoot once Serena is out of the way. The shot doesn't even graze him, and the two ignore the deafening screech of the bullet exiting the chamber as if it didn't even happen.

Mina continues to cling on to me, her gasps low and strained.

"No! I won't let anything else happen to her! No matter what, I'll save her!"

I aim and shoot the gun again when D.D. moves to stab at Serena's throat. The bullet bursts through his raised wrist, creating a brilliant show of crimson that spews out in one vicious squirt. The sound rings through my ears as the liquid splatters against Serena's face and chest. My fingers involuntarily slip through the spaces between Mina's while she continues to cough out a lung. I feel traces of dried blood along her fingers. Nausea crawls up my esophagus almost immediately, but I can't bring myself to let go of her hand, not while she's hacking and whimpering from pain.

I can endure this. I have to.

"Gah! WHEELER!"

D.D. sends me a glare, his coal-black eyes promising me a slow, agonizing death. He takes a step toward us but is quickly distracted by Serena whose using her scepter as a club at this point.

As she smacks him across the face with it, I see Kara limping toward the fray with her own gun in hand. The golden framed mirror slowly reappears in my line of vision...

Mina speaks once more.

"Get us out of here," she whispers weakly. "Please. Take us somewhere safe and quiet."

The mirror glows and within seconds its light wraps around us. My first instinct is to start freaking out, but soon the pure warmth of the magic brings on a sense of calm. I close my eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply to soak in this feeling of safety.

Drifting in softly, a voice reaches out to me in the darkness.

It's going to be alright. You're both safe now.

"...Who is that?"

The voice, though unfamiliar, spoke gently as the comforting magic ebbed and flowed like water. Opening my eyes, I see an ethereal silhouette draped in a billowing white gown. The air around us smells like cotton candy.

You've done all you can, Joseph. The rest is up to her.

As abruptly as the magic had come, it left, flinging us into the icy chill of winter so fast my knees buckle from it. That sensation only got worse when we plummeted to the snow, gasping for air.

But we're here...together.

We're alive.

It's...over.

A part of me wants to sigh in relief. Another part wants to freeze to death.

Mina's breaths against my back are shallow and nasally. She needs a doctor. We need to find one quick, but I...

Paralysis claims me the instant I begin to recognize our surroundings. The recognition brings images from my memories. Some of the memories were from earlier tonight when I first faced D.D, but the more dominant memories flashing through my head were of Mina's mother...

The blood on her face and hair...

The blank, emotionless stare...

The barrel of the gun in her delicate hand...

Mina had looked so similar to her before...an exact replica really.

The weight of her arms around my waist feel like chains. They're dragging me down to a pit where only demons survive.

Azabu Park...

The nightmare started here.

And seeing this place again now makes the truth all too plain.

The nightmare hasn't ended. It won't ever end.

We have to face the aftermath of this night. We have to face the consequences of everything that's happened and try to move on from things that have irreversibly changed us.

How do I feel about Mina now?

Do I love her? Do I hate her?

What is she thinking? What is she feeling?

How do we begin move forward from this point? Do I have what it takes to continue standing beside her...to continue loving her? What about my own pain? What am I supposed to do about this ache in my chest? What am I supposed to do when the trauma truly sets in and starts eating away at my sanity?

Will I lose myself in rage?

Will I become a monster too?

Mina...will she turn on me if I can't handle this? Should I even try to bear this burden?

Why am I asking questions like this? I can't abandon her now. If I do...what would have been the point of going after her at all? She needed me. She still needs me now. That's the promise I made when she thought her mother had been killed by E.E. I promised to always be there when she needed me, so no matter what...I have to stay with her. I have to! There's no other choice!

But...having her arms around me like this...

I hate it. I'm disgusted by the grime coating her from head to toe.

And yet, in spite of those feelings, I still want to hold her. I want to look at her face, into her eyes, and into her soul. I need to know that the girl I love still lives inside the monster I despise.

She's the one I made the promise to.

I promised her. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised. I promised...

You've done all you can, Joseph. The rest is up to her.

The words from the gentle voice fill my head once more, ending the hysteria that had begun to build.

I've already kept my promise to be here when Mina needed me.

There was another promise though...the one I made to Rei.

My body begins to shudder. I'm not sure if it's from the cold or from my own emotions.

All I know is that my promise to save Mina...was a promise I never could have kept no matter how hard I tried.

But I did my best. Truly I did.

Maybe I'm going nuts since I'm hearing voices and all that. It really wouldn't surprise me at this point.

Even so...

Joey Wheeler never gives up. That's been a personal mantra of mine for as long as I can remember. I'll likely stick to it for as long as I live - for the battles that belong to me and me alone.

Mina's battles were never mine to fight.

If what's happened has shown me anything, it's that there are things in her world I can't face. I'm not strong enough to bear the weight of it all. As much as I hate admitting it, the only reason I could make myself go through with any of this was because I wanted to believe I was capable of saving Mina from herself.

In the end, I've only managed to delude myself. I can't fight the demons in her heart. She has to do that on her own, and at this point, she doesn't want to. She doesn't believe this life is even worth living anymore.

Right now, I'm not sure if I even believe that.

But...somehow...

If I can just convince her to try...then maybe I can convince myself to do the same thing.

Picture it. December 23rd, 1999.

Cecelia Ashford stands before Toshido Aino with a silenced gun in her right hand. Her left is on her stomach. The expression on her face is one of shock as she feels another tap from inside her womb.

Toshido takes special notice of how Cecelia's gaze softens.

"What's wrong?"

"T-the baby..." She takes a step away from Toshido, lowering the gun when she moves. "The baby...kicked."

"It did?"

Cecelia nods. Her mind soon drifts to her own childhood, how she'd been neglected for so much of her life because of her parents' quest for power within the Britannian government. There were many times when she was only valued in their sight because of her looks. It was the same with men too.

Meeting Maximillion Pegasus in her childhood had been a lovely experience. He was the first person to see beyond her beauty, although it did captivate his artistic mind. There were many times when he asked her to be the subject of his paintings, especially once they were older, but he did his best to look beyond the surface. In many ways, he was successful. He had a knack for seeing things about people others would have never bothered noticing. Again, she attributed this to that artistic nature.

However, despite his best attempts, her darling Max simply couldn't guess at everything. In their childhood, her parents kept them apart. In her adulthood, her contract with E.E. made honesty impossible. Sometimes he saw through her lies, but he never discovered the dark truths lingering in the deepest depths of her mind where he couldn't possibly reach. It hurt her to cause him so much grief. Even now she wishes she could run back to his side and reveal everything, but doing so would only put his life at risk. This way, he remained safe, alive, and free to fall in love again with someone else.

A part of her will always love him, but as the baby kicks again, Cecelia's mind filters through memories of all the time she's spent with the man standing in front of her now. She remembers their jokes, the shared cups of coffee, the ease of their comradely on the missions they completed together, and everything else in between.

Toshido Aino had always been her friend. He never once asked for more. He supported her and loved her from afar. And until this very day, he had never admitted his feelings for her. She'd known the truth yes, but...today he said the words.

He got down on one knee and asked to help support her and a child that isn't even his.

"What's on your mind, Cecelia?" he questions, slowly rising to his feet when she drops her hand from her stomach. "You look petrified."

She stares at him and the look of genuine concern on his face breaks her.

The gun clatters to the ground. Toshido glances at the abandoned weapon, confusion in his gaze when Cecelia flings herself into his arms. Instinct allows him to embrace her instantly, but shock doesn't let him speak.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, burying her face in his shirt. "I'm so sorry."

Hearing those words, Toshido pulls her in a bit closer.

"It's alright," he answers after a moment, running his fingers through her hair as she sobs. "Shhh. Everything will be alright now. I promise."

"B-but..." her fingers dig into the back of his coat. "How can you forgive me so easily? How can you still love me after I..."

"Love covers a multitude of sin, Cecelia," he interrupts, chuckling softly. "And besides, you're my best friend. We've seen each other through many things. This won't be any different. Now try to calm down. All this stress can't be good for the baby."

That elicits a laugh from the young woman. "No...it's probably not." She tightens her grip on him, having made a decision.

"Toshido?"

"Hmm?"

"You'll be a wonderful father."

These words change the entire dynamic of their relationship.

Toshido's heart leaps into his throat for a moment, his breath escaping in a sharp exhale. Her words soon settle around him like a warm blanket after a long, lonely journey through the bitter cold.

After a moment, he pulls back to look into her eyes, still moist from the tears she'd shed. The Japanese man smiles gently and takes a step back. He raises a hand towards her then pauses. There's a question in his eyes, one she easily understands without words.

With a nod, she gives him her consent. He responds with a hesitant motion, still unsure as he places his palm against her stomach.

He feels the baby kick against his hand almost immediately.

A small laugh escapes him and soon his hand is trembling along Cecelia's stomach. Breathing shakily, he bites down on his tongue to hold back the sob that wants to come out, but tears still leak from the corners of his eyes anyway.

"You'll be a wonderful mother," he says, his voice barely audible.

Cecelia smiles, then moves to brush away his tears with her fingertips.

"Thank you, Toshido."

He shook his head. "No. Thank you, Cecelia. Thank you so much."

On December 23rd, 1999, Toshido Aino, upon feeling the gift of life hidden within the woman he loved, made a vow to protect and cherish his family to the bitter end.

However, though he did everything he could to honor that vow as the years rolled by...there are things in this world that no one can prevent from happening no matter how hard they try.

Azabu Park.

My mother died here.

She died because I killed her. It wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't what I planned. What I really wanted was to save her, to protect her, to bring her back home.

But in the end...with the click of a gun, I signed her death certificate.

The entire scene unfolds before me in my mind's eye. The dying man I'd unintentionally collapsed on top of, his weak attempt to lock his hands around my throat, the blood spilling over my hands, my own scream, the steps I took to the entryway of the park, and Joey's horror-ridden expression as he fought to run from the woman who had brought me into the world.

Staring at the dark waters of the lake brings the image of her body slowly sinking while blood oozed from her wounds to stain the clear waters crimson. A fierce gust of wind had blown, shaking through my hair as my index finger continued to pull on the trigger despite the gun being empty.

My actions had saved Joey and others...

But they condemned me.

I'm guilty of an unforgivable sin.

Because for a split second anger had taken hold. Though vehemently adamant about protecting my mom from Rei and the other scouts, resentment clouded my mind when I saw her standing before Joey covered in blood. Even if her death was the only real way for her to be saved...deep down I always knew that wasn't the reason I shot her. In the end, it wasn't really for Joey's sake either. He was my excuse, my reason to do what I would have done anyway.

And I hate myself for giving in to those terrible feelings. I hate myself for not forgiving my mother and understanding that she was human like everyone else. She was a complicated woman who made mistakes and dealt with many different things I may never be able to understand. She may have hurt me, but I know in the end that she still loved me. She wanted to protect me. She wanted me to be happy.

In a single instant I forgot that truth. Overcome with a fleeting notion of hate, I treated her as less than human.

It's despicable really. So much resentment and rage and for what? To end up repeating her mistakes in ways so much worse makes me feel ill with regret. She would be so disappointed in me now. She raised me better than that.

Right now, I feel as if I've abandoned everything she ever instilled in me.

It's pathetic. So pathetic.

Inhaling shakily, I bite back a laugh that wants to spill out for Joey's sake. Because I'm touching him, my Geass activates and fills me in on every last detail of what he's gone through tonight, starting with his duel with D.D. He'd fought through it so well despite the looming threat of death hovering over him the entire time. After winning the duel he was nearly killed in front of the memorial monument in Narita, but was saved by Serena and Ami.

Ami...she stayed behind to keep D.D. busy so Serena could guide Joey to me.

She died because of me...so did Rei.

And Lita wasn't around at all during this. Something could have happened to her too. And if it did...well that would be my fault too.

Bodies mangled beyond recognition meet my gaze as I survey Joey's memories and trauma without permission. This power isn't something I'm able to control, but knowing that doesn't lessen the guilt I feel watching him examine each kill with an almost clinical gaze that just looks wrong on his face.

My Joey is supposed to smile and make bad jokes. He's supposed to gorge himself on junk food and tease me.

I never wanted him to follow me this far...

And yet...a part of me knew he would...

Because just like before, I needed him.

In a way, Joey saved me tonight. It's because of him that I could come back to myself.

But in doing that...I have a feeling he's lost a piece of his beautiful heart. What he saw will inevitably change him, whether he wants that or not. He can't go back to who he was before...just as I can't go back to who I was.

The old me lives somewhere inside this new girl I don't know. She has monsters inside of her that scream for more blood, for more cries of terror, for more death. She doesn't want to face them...because they scare her in ways she can't bring herself to admit.

Her heart craves an end to the nightmare. Facing the aftermath of everything won't bring any solace or hope to her. She has to die tonight.

The old me screams out against these feelings. She says I need to face my sins and make things right with Joey at the very least...before it's too late...because...

Yeah...

That's right...

I'm...dying.

That's what I wanted though, right?

...

It doesn't matter what I do now. There was never going to be any redemption for me. No forgiveness and no hope to create a better life for myself either.

I'm not deserving of life...yet some part of me desperately clings to it. Joey's body heat is so soothing that I want to sink into his skin and just live in it forever, but more than anything, I want to give his soul comfort. After all the terrible things he went through trying to find me he's earned that much...

But there's nothing I can do to ease the storms raging in his heart.

I'm too weak. Too broken. Too dirty.

He deserves better. He'll have better.

So all I can do...

All I can do is...

December 22nd, 2017
Midnight ~ Azabu Park

Light snowfall descends over the park where two weary souls linger in respite from the horrors of the evening. Without their knowledge, a new day has begun.

Though it'll be many hours before the sun ascends over the horizon, the tumultuous journey Minako Aino and Joey Wheeler took through the underground tunnels of E.E.'s lair has come to an end.

The magic mirror lies abandoned next to Mina's hand as she inhales shakily. Her blue eyes are fixed on the lake...the exact pool of water her mother sunk into after she shot her down.

Joey's gaze is also on the water, but his mind is trying to process what the next step should be. He knows Mina needs to see a doctor. He knows he should carry her out of the park and find a payphone somewhere to call for help and quick, but instead he remains motionless. His breaths have steadied but his mind is a mess of thoughts that tumble around and around in a cycle of growing despair.

And so, surprising them both, Mina is the first to speak.

"I'm sorry."

She had already said those words before, but the way she said them now created a different meaning. It went unspoken between the two, but the apology was understood. After all, what else could Mina offer to appease the mounting emotions of hopelessness spinning behind Joey's eyes?

There was nothing. No words. No excuses. No anything. Just a solemn admission of guilt.

Joey wasn't able to say anything in response to that, so instead he simply turns in her arms. As he moves, Mina slowly lets go, gazing at him straight in the eye once they are face to face. His expression is one full of turmoil and the ribbon-wearing blonde can see that there's so much he wants to say but can't find words for.

She bears the weight of his love and hatred in equal measure as he stares at her, trying to assess which feelings would win out in the end. Tears gather in the corners of his eyes when he hesitantly lifts his hand to touch her cheek. By slow increments, his thumb travels down her face to wipe away the drying bits of blood still leaking from the corner of her mouth.

A shuddering breath tears itself from him, and closing his eyes, Joey leans his forehead against Mina's. She sighs in response and repeats her apology.

Blood-lust had consumed her before. Now, all she feels is exhaustion.

A part of her wants to bolt from Joey's arms to the nearest bridge. She can see herself doing it. Can see a vision of herself jumping to her death in the icy waters her mother died in.

Instead she remains with the blonde duelist, determined to spare him from as much pain as possible. After all, he had fought through too much for her to toss out her life so selfishly. Deep down, she knew she couldn't end her own life...not anymore.

Besides...soon it wouldn't matter. She could barely get out words now. The cold wasn't helping matters either.

Joey opens his eyes upon hearing a break in her breath. "Hang on, Mina. I'll get you a doctor..."

"N-no..." she murmured, eyes drooping. "It's...too late for t-that...Joey."

"Don't tell me that!" he shouted, nearly busting her eardrums as his tears finally fell in earnest. "You can't die! Not now!"

Mina lets out a dry laugh while pressing her palms down against the snow. "W-well...can't exactly...stop that..."

Gritting his teeth, Joey hooks an arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders, then lifts her off the snow. Mina lies limply in his arms for a few seconds, amused by her friend's desperation. She watches his brown eyes widen as they scan the area.

Unsure of which direction to go, Joey walks a few paces west before deciding he would reach the road faster heading east. Mina smiles through it all with a growing sense of gratitude. She'd been blessed with such a wonderful friend.

No...he was more...so much more.

His movements, frenetic as they were, made Mina's world spin as the seconds ticked on.

"Hey...stop," she orders softly, laughing a little. "Dizzy. P-put...me down, mongrel."

Joey doesn't listen at first, his expression becoming increasingly panicked as he glances at the signposts near him. If he kept going they would reach the actual entrance to the park soon. From there he could most likely find someone to help.

But Mina, delirious as she was, suddenly presses her lips against his neck, stopping him completely from the sheer shock that coursed through his body at the contact. Taking advantage of his distraction, the former senshi of love gently elbows him in the chest. His grip slackens just enough for her to safely extract herself from his arms and stand, though she immediately stumbles forward once upright. Joey quickly wraps both his arms around her waist to ensure she won't tumble to the ground.

Coughing weakly, she places her hands along his shoulders. "T-there...we go...t-that's...better."

"Mina, I..."

"Shh," she mutters, placing a bloodied index finger against his lips. "I...need to...s-say something to you. It's...important."

Joey nods, his grip tightening slightly on her waist. Mina appreciated it, mainly because the embrace made it easy for her to lean most of her weight on him. At this point, that was the only way she could remain standing.

Blinking away the black dots eating away at her vision, the bloodstained senshi stares up at the boy struggling to stay in love with her.

"I'm sorry," she says again, smiling up at him. "I...was s-so stupid, Joey. So stupid..."

"I know," he answers back, his voice showcasing worry more than anything else. "We can talk about it later, Mina. Right now..."

"There won't be a later," she cut in, reaching up to weave her fingers through the golden strands at the base of his neck. "Joey...t-there's so much I need to say, but...only one thing that's...i-important to say...after all this."

His rapid breathing slows as he gazes down at her, now truly seeing her condition for what it is.

"What is it that you need to say?" he asks, reaching to touch her hand resting along his jaw.

"I... I love you, Joseph Wheeler."

His heart nearly stops beating.

"M-Mina..."

"D-despite e-everything y-you kept...fighting for me," she continues, her voice almost too soft for him to hear. "You kept...loving me. I d-don't...deserve that. I d-don't...even deserve to live anymore..."

"That's not true!" Joey interrupts, shaking his head as new tears stream down his face. "That isn't true at all, Mina..."

"It is," the former senshi argued, fighting back her own tears. "I killed t-ten people in cold blood, including that...of my own friend. Ten lives...ruined...b-because of me... I'm no better...than E.E. And...t-this is the punishment...I deserve..."

"Stop talking like that!"

With a broken sob Joey pulls the girl he loves against him. His hold is so tight now that it borders on painful, but Mina can barely feel his touch. She's slipping faster and faster.

"You have to live," he says, burying his face in her hair. "No one will have the chance to forgive you if you don't live long enough to redeem yourself. How will I forgive you for putting me through all this if you don't even survive through it!?"

Mina sighs at this. "S-same w-way you would with...anyone else I guess. You just...let go...of the pain. Of the hate."

Joey shakes his head again. "You don't have the right to say that after what you did! You can't tell me you love me then expect me to let you go!"

"People...let go of those they love every day, Joseph," Mina whispers, her knees finally giving out. Joey instantly hooks his arm beneath her legs again. Once he has her settled in his arms, he starts running as fast as he can while praying he doesn't trip and fall along the ice and snow.

"I'm not them!" Joey roars, his breaths a haggard mess. "I'm not letting go of anyone I love, least of all you!"

A short distance away, he sees what looks like a helicopter descending from the sky. He doesn't question why it's there, he just runs towards it in the hopes he can get Mina help.

"Y-you d-deserve...someone...so much better t-than me...J-Joey..."

"SHUT UP! DON'T SAY THAT TO ME!"

Mina laughs again, closing her eyes.

"Who are you to tell me what I deserve!" Joey asks, practically screaming at the top of his lungs as he draws closer to the helicopter.

"R-Right back at ya..." Mina breathes, hardly aware of what she's saying anymore. "Y-you...c-can't...tell me...what I d-deserve...either..."

Within the flying vehicle, the pilot spots the pair from the corner of his green eyes. With a gasp of shock, he quickly turns on his headset and sends orders back to his contact in the Tokyo Settlement's Government Bureau.

"MINA! STAY AWAKE!"

The former senshi doesn't respond.

"Don't do this, Mina!" he yells, picking up the pace. "What about your dad!? The paperwork is back at the estate! Your mother signed it before she died! He's gonna be able to have the surgery now! He's going to live!"

"...My...dad..."

"Yes, Mina, your dad," Joey answers, his heart ready to fly out of his chest when he forces himself to come to a stop a few feet away from the helicopter. It was roughly two feet away from touching the ground. Violent gusts of frigid wind slap him across the face, but his attention is solely fixed on the girl slowly dying in his arms.

Struggling to keep his breathing steady, he shields Mina from the wind as best he can while shouting, "You have to live for him, Mina! You gotta live for the other Sailor Scouts too, along with Yugi, Téa, and Tristan! Heck, even Kaiba will be pissed off if we don't get you back to Domino safely!"

"Hmm...?"

"And I need you to live...because I... I love you too," he admits, terror clinging to him as Mina's breathing falters then stops altogether for half a second. "Please...don't leave me to face this alone! I need you, Mina!"

"S-silly Joseph...I'll...a-always...be here...for you...always..."

She became completely limp in his arms.

But Joey knew she wasn't dead yet. With her body pressed so closely against his, he can feel her pulse weakly pumping through him. Right now, he's pretty sure that pulse is the only thing keeping him sane.

The blades of the helicopter quickly come to a stop as the vehicle lands firmly along the snow-covered pavement. Within seconds the pilot is in motion, his footsteps pounding against the floor as he yanks the door of the vehicle open. The two blondes were just a few feet away.

Suzaku Kururugi stares at the two, his expression a painful grimace.

The image of Joey carrying Mina's bloodstained body is a terrible reminder of a personal tragedy.

"Please!" the teen screams upon seeing the Japanese knight. "I don't care what it takes! Just save her!"

The son of Japan's last prime minister tightly clenches his fists in response to Joey's desperate cry. It was far too similar to his pleas for his own beloved's salvation before her death.

He's in motion after half a second, and once he removes Mina's battered body from Joey's trembling grasp, Suzaku makes a vow within himself.

"No matter what it takes...I won't let them face the same pain."

A/N: And that ends this emotionally heavy chapter and the most dramatic arc I have probably ever written for any story ever. All that's left is the immediate aftermath of these events, which means this story will soon come to a close. Probably in ten chapters or so. It's been an adventure because it has taken me almost a decade to even get close to finishing this story. In that time, I have grown a lot, experienced a lot, and I hope the things I wish to convey shine through in my writing within this piece. Mina has faced great turmoil just as I have. Her experiences are far more dramatic, but writing this story lately has been extremely cathartic for me. As dark as things are for Mina...and for me in real life...there is always hope and I pray the remaining chapters in this story will showcase that sentiment. Thank you all so much for reading. I appreciate you all. Please continue to keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers during this time. Mama, I know this wasn't the most happy chapter, but I hope that what I've written brings some form of honor to you. We went through some ups and downs in our relationship, but those experiences helped us both grow and I'm so happy that I could love and take care of you until the very end. You were the best, sweetheart. As you said to me before you passed away, I will love you in this life and in the next. Thank you for being my mama. I'll do my best to live life to the fullest for you. To the rest of you lovely readers, I don't know when the next chapter will be posted, but I will be working on it fairly soon. If you have any thoughts for me, leave them in that review box. God bless you all!