Beautiful Disaster

by My Writing Is This

The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.

50. To Be Safe

Chapter Fifty: To Be Safe

Sweat was spilling down my face and neck, dripping down the crease of my back. I was still in the lead, racing through the trees, the need to get home driving me. The dead were off the road, following our group as we attempted to stay ahead of them. We could run. They couldn't. But we could fatigue and if we didn't stay ahead of them, we were as good as dead. That couldn't happen. We would figure this out. But the longer that horn blared the more panicked I became.

"Try again." Glenn told Rick.

"Tobin, it's not stopping." Rick spoke into the radio as we stopped. "Light it up. You hear me?" The only response was static. "Tobin!" There was the sound of a walker snarling. "Michonne."

"Got it."

Then we were running again. The others behind us were keeping up, though there was some panic starting to flow out.

"Shit! Shit! It was half. Jesus, it was more than half." One of us stated.

"We just gotta stay ahead of them. They walk, we run." Annie told him.

"Rick!" Daryl called over the radio.

I didn't mean to but I snatch the radio out of Rick's hand, "We're here."

"What's going on back there?" Daryl asked.

Rick took the radio back, "Half of them broke off. They're going toward Alexandria."

Then Abraham's voice came over next, "Towards you?"

"We ran ahead." Rick replied. "There's a horn or something. Loud, coming from the east. It's not stopping."

There was a pause before Daryl spoke, "I'm gonna gas it up, turn back."

"We have it." Rick told him. "You keep going."

"They're gonna need our help."

"Gotta keep the herd moving."

"Not if it's going down, we don't." Daryl told him.

"The rest of that herd turns around, the bad back there gets worse." Rick stated. There was only silence.

"Daryl?" I said holding the button with Rick's fingers. "Please."

"Yeah, I heard ya." He finally replied.

Looking at the others, I nodded, taking a deep breath before we started to run again. Still out front, Rick helped me up a hill, hearing a cry as Annie went down. About to move to her, Rick gripped my arm, keeping me moving as Glenn helped her back onto her feet.

"Stay with me." Rick told me.

"I'm not going anywhere." I smiled. He nodded, taking my hand and kept us moving up the hill. Stopping we waited for the others. "What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"They blame me." He stated.

"Doesn't matter." I told him, moving against his side. "I wouldn't want anyone else leading us."

"Thank you." He said kissing me. Then he grew serious as the others joined us. "All right, listen up. Here's the new plan." He told them. "I go back, get the RV, circle around the woods on Redding. I'll get in front of them before they get there. I can lead them away again."

"RV's a mile back. I can go with you." One offered.

"I'll handle it. Just get home. They might need you there. Glenn, Michonne." He said and we all moved away from the others. "If something's in front of you, you kill it. No hiding, no waiting. You keep going."

"I'm going with you." Glenn told him. "You can't do this on your own."

"He won't." I stated. "You need to be with the others. Rick and I will get there and get it done."

"No, Linny." Rick frowned.

I frowned right back, "I left you once and I almost never saw you again. I'm going whether you like it or not."

He kept my eyes before nodding, "Alright."

"She's right." Michonne told Glenn. "You need to help me. We've gotta get these people back."

"Yeah. Thing is, they aren't all gonna make it." Rick told them.

Michonne frowned, "Rick."

"You try to save them, you try, but if they can't keep up, you keep going. You have to. You make sure you get back."

We all just looked at each other. Sighing, I gripped Michonne's arm. "You have to make it back."

She nodded, gripping my wrist, "We will."

Then screaming interrupted us, a walker having grabbed one of the men by the throat, tearing it open. Michonne rushed forward and stabbed the walker. Staying where I was, for a moment we watched the man gurgle, choking on his own blood as he bled out. Only then Michonne stabbed him through the head as well. At the same moment the horn stopped, making us look back toward home.

"The horn stopped. Good." Rick stated. He kneeled and started to take the weapons and anything of use from the man's body before he looked up at everyone. "Get back safe."

He looked at me and I nodded, taking off as the others just stood there. Looking over my shoulder, I smiled at Glenn and Michonne, looking at the others before catching up with Rick. Making it to the road we ran as fast as humanly possible. The sooner we got there the sooner we'd be able to help lead the dead away from our family.

"Rick." I said slowing as walkers appeared in the road.

He nodded, "We've dealt with worse."

I started to move forward, sighing, "We don't have time."

"Then get it done." He smirked at me.

Smiling, I stabbed one through its eye as Rick took on another. More came onto the road, making their way toward us as Glenn's voice came over the radio. "Rick, Caroline, it's Glenn." He told us. "We're in a town five degrees east of the green marker." I watched as Rick took out a walker. "If you get around on Redding in the next 20 minutes, you should be good. I think that's how far we're ahead of the herd. I'm gonna try to set a fire and distract them. If you don't see smoke, they're still coming your way. I gotta go. Good luck, dumbass. And Caroline who is definitely not a dumbass."

I could hear the smirk in his voice, making me smile, wanting to snatch the radio and talk to him. But currently I had my hand around the throat of a walker, stabbing my knife underneath its chin. Shoving it away from me, I turned to see Rick snapping his knife off in the skull of a walker.

"Rick!" I called and ran toward him; only he'd already gripped around another walker, pulling a knife free from its shoulder. "Rick, wait." I said but he was already closing his fist around the cut he'd just put into is palm. "Damn it." I said and killed the walker, shoving it away from us. Killing the last of them, I turned to him, "Let me see."

"I'm okay." He told me.

"Open your hand." I told him firmly. He sighed and did, making my stomach turn. "Baby."

"I'll be fine."

"I know." I smiled at him.

Moving to the bodies, we took what we could, finding a satchel on the poor son of a bitch that they were eating. Opening it, I smiled as I pulled out a small bottle of water and a thick wad of gauze wrap.

"Rick." I said turning to him.

"Baby, we don't have time for this." He told me.

"I know." I told him and swiftly poured the water over his hand, rubbing it to his obvious dislike. "But we need to take care of it." Wrapping it quickly and just tight enough to not cut off circulation, I tied it off. "Let's go." I said and was running again.

Getting to the RV, we rushed inside and he swiftly put himself in the driver's seat. Tossing the bag in the booth, I dropped myself into the passenger seat as he grabbed the keys from under the dash, starting it up. Putting it into gear he took off down the road.

"We're in time." I said out loud. "Right?" I said needing to hear it. "Rick?"

He nodded, "We're in time."

Taking his hand, we raced down the road, making it to Redding. Throwing it into park, we waited for the herd. "Glenn. We're in place by my best guess." He spoke into the radio. "You guys make it back yet?" Nothing. "Glenn." Still nothing. My stomach dropped. "Tobin, you there?" Static. "Daryl?"

"Rick." I said as panic filled me, gripping his shoulder.

Then Daryl's voice came over the radio, "I'm here."

"Won't be long now." Rick told him. "They're almost here. I'll get them going your way again."

"How 'bout that, Daryl? He's gonna be coming our way." Sasha added.

Something happened. She didn't sound happy. "Something doesn't feel right." I told him. Then we heard gunfire in the distance. "Is that coming from home?"

"There's gunfire coming from back home." Rick spoke into the radio. "We gotta sit with it and hope they can handle it. I think they can. They have to. We keep going forward for them. Can't turn back 'cause we're afraid."

"I'll go." I told him and moved toward the door.

"Linny." He said gripping my wrist.

Abraham's voice came over the radio, "We ain't afraid."

"Linny." Rick said softly.

"It's coming from home." I replied as panic started to course through me. "Rick, the kids. Our family."

He picked up the radio. "This is for them. Going back now before it's done, that'd be for us." He gave me a nod, making me nod back at him, dropping onto the table. "The herd has to be almost here."

Sitting there, the gunfire kept going off, my stomach turning with every one, making me flinch as I tried to remember to breathe. There was nothing but static on the radio, making my anxiousness worsen. I knew that Rick was just as scared as I was. But he was also right. Moving to him as he sat behind the wheel, I sat down, putting my hand against his neck, gently massaging it as I put my other against his forearm.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"They're fine. They can take care of each other. Carl will keep him and Judith safe."

Smiling, I nodded, "And Carol can singlehandedly protect the entire community."

He laughed lightly, "She's a force to be reckoned with."

Moving onto my knees so I could be closer to him, I pulled him to me, kissing him passionately. "I love you."

"I love you." He smiled.

Rubbing his back and arm, he looked at the radio. "Try again."

He nodded, bringing it to his lips, only before he could say anything; a man burst into the RV and opened fire. Diving backward, Rick dropped as we attempted to avoid the bullets.

"Rick? Rick?" Daryl's voice said over the radio.

Looking at Rick, he nodded and I swiftly stood, Rick darting out and tackled the guy before he could let off a shot. Only then another one was there and I swiftly took out my knife, throwing it into the man's chest. Rick had taken the other's gun and blew him away. Looking back at me, I smiled, nodding at him. He smiled back before checking them, a frown crossing his face as he held up a can of food. We both knew exactly where it had come from. He did a double-take before be held his hand out to me. Looking at him questioningly, he pointed at the mirror, seeing three more moving toward the door. He took the rifle from the dead, firing through the side of the RV. Stopping, everything was quiet, seeing them dead in the mirror.

"We need to get home." I told him. "They were there, Rick."

"I know." He said finally starting to panic right along with me. He flew to the driver's seat and attempted to get the RV running but it wouldn't turn over. "No."

"Rick." I said as my panic started to intensify.

"No, no, no."

Hearing growls and snarls, I looked out the window to see the dead coming. "Rick."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no." He repeated.

I looked at him, tears filling my eyes, "They're here."

The panic on his face was tangible. We were stuck. The RV wouldn't start and the dead were swarming around us. The herd was split. Alexandria had been attacked. And we…we were stuck here. Moving from my seat, I looked around for anything that could help us. We had the rifle, but even with that there wasn't enough ammo to even put a dent in the number of walkers that were around us. I pulled my knife free from the man's chest, holding it tightly in my hand before I put it back in its sheath.

"We go through the roof hatch. We distract them as best we can. We jump down and make a fucking run for it." I told him, looking up at the hatch.

"There's too many." Rick told me.

"And what's your idea?" I shot at him. "That food came from home. That means that Alexandria was attacked. Our kids need us. Our family. Our people need us!"

"Linny." He said taking my face in his hands.

I shook my head, taking his hands away, "We need to get out of here. Our only option is to go through the hatch. We jump onto the hood of the car and then launch over them. Or we throw things in the woods to distract them. We have to do something, Rick. We need to get out of here."

He nodded, pacing a little as he thought of what to do. "I don't think we can jump far enough to clear them from the hood of the car. They could grab us before we even try."

"We kill as many as we can, shoving them into each other until we make a gap." I offered. He sighed and nodded, his eyes darting as he thought. "Our kids need us." I told him. "We don't have a lot of time to spare. The longer we wait the more will gather around us."

He nodded again, then it seemed like something dawned on him. "You go up the hatch. These bodies are still warm. I'll pass them up to you and then we toss them on either side. If it works we can create a gap out front and we can get away."

Smiling, I nodded at him, "That's a good plan."

He took my face in his hands again, kissing me deeply, "Okay."

He helped me through the hatch and for several long moments I took in the number of dead that was surrounding us. They had to be at least twenty deep in some areas. I was already starting to doubt the plan. It was solid. It could work. I would work! At the same time…how the hell had this happened? It was going so well.

Rick had to repeat my name a few times before I finally broke free from my thoughts, hauling the men through the hatch before helping Rick up and through. The other three that he had killed were already being devoured. Going toward the front of the RV, we tossed them off to the side, hoping they'd all move in either direction, leaving a clear path away from them. I held my breath as they started to move. When there was a big enough gap, we both moved as fast as possible, sliding to the hood before we leapt off of it, landing at a run. We knew they would follow but even that couldn't take away the bliss of just getting away.

Wasting no time, we ran as fast as we could, making our way toward home. Our family needed us and we wouldn't abandon them. We wouldn't leave them to deal with whatever was going down. But the sound of the dead was a constant behind us. Every mile or so I'd look over my shoulder to see more and more gathering on the street to chase down their prey.

"Caroline!" Rick yelled as I stumbled, falling head over feet. "Get up." He said swiftly gripping me.

I'd jarred my knee, making pain shoot down my leg. "Rick." I said stumbling again.

"We can't stop. We have to keep moving." He told me.

Sweat was dripping off both of us. I knew we had to keep moving. I knew that, but my lungs were burning. My legs had little feeling in them except for the pain that I'd just caused. Even my arms were throbbing with exertion.

"I need a minute." I panted.

He gripped my arm tightly. "We don't have a minute. We're nearly there."

Looking behind us, the dead were coming. Then I met Rick's eyes. He was staring at me. He needed me to move. I needed me to move. But we were human. We had limitations. Taking a long deep breath, I nodded at him.

"Thank you." He told me as we started to run again.

"When we get home you owe me a nice hot bath and some sex."

He laughed, "Maybe after we sleep for a while."

"Yeah." I said. "That sounds good, too."

Panting heavily, I couldn't muster enough air to talk anymore. This was fucking brutal. There were reasons why I was never a marathoner. Even with the adrenaline that was pumping continuously into my system, I wasn't sure I could take much more. By the time the gates came into sight, I was stumbling every few hundred yards, my speed decreasing as Rick pulled ahead of me. Pushing myself just a little harder, I managed to keep pace with him again, staring at the gate.

"Open the gate!" He yelled. "Open the gate!"

Looking over my shoulder, the dead were closer than ever. "Open the gate!" I screamed.

"Open the gate now!"

It was so close. But so were the dead. A few came out from ahead of us. I skidded to a stop as Rick slammed into it, falling from the force of it. Swiftly killing the walker, I gripped him, yanking him back onto his feet as we once again started to run. Michonne and Maggie had the gate open, slamming it shut as soon as we were through. Falling to the ground, we both lay there panting, trying to catch our breath.

"Linny!" Maggie said dropping next to me.

"I'm all right." I panted, gripping her arm.

"What happened?" Michonne asked as she knelt next to Rick.

Slowly getting to my feet with Maggie's help, I looked at Michonne, "Is everyone back?" They just gave me a look. "What is it?"

"It's Glenn." Maggie replied. "He's not back yet. Neither is Nicholas."

"That stupid son of a bitch!" I yelled and started to pace, shifting toward the gate before pacing back to her. "Nicholas has something to do with it. Glenn should never have trusted him."

"He didn't." Maggie replied. "But he was trying to help him."

"At the cost of his own safety!" I screamed.

"Caroline." Michonne said softly.

"What else happened?" I asked. "We were attacked by people who had cans from the pantry."

Feeling a hand, I turned to see Carol, "They call themselves Wolves. That's what the 'W' means that has been carved into walkers foreheads."

Running my fingers through my hair, I started to pace, taking this all in. "Did we lose anyone?" I asked her. She nodded. Shaking my head, I felt tears.

"It's been taken care of." Carol stated. "Maybe you should get cleaned up."

Nodding, I started to move toward home. My hand was taken and I looked up at Rick, "It's gonna be okay."

"How?" I asked him, emotion filling my voice. "People are dead, Rick. Glenn isn't back yet. How is it gonna be okay?"

He wrapped his arm around me, pressing his lips into my hair. "I don't know. But it will be. We'll be okay."

Going home, we walked through the door and I immediately yelled for our son, "Carl!"

"Mom!" He said from upstairs.

"Carl." I repeated as he flew down the stairs, throwing his arms around me. "I love you. Are you oaky?"

"I love you." He said and let me go. "I'm fine. Are you?" Tears were in my eyes, one sliding down my cheek as I smiled at him. "Mom?"

I finally nodded, "I am. Where's your sister?"

"She finally laid down." He replied.

Looking up the stairs, I wanted to go to her, but she was fine. If she was sleeping I didn't want to wake her up. At the same time I didn't care. I just wanted my little girl in my arms. Carl put his hand on my arm before he embraced his father.

"You good?" Rick asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah. Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine."

"Mom?" Carl said breaking me from staring.

I looked at him, "She okay? You're okay?"

He smiled, "I know how to protect us."

Smiling, I pulled him into my arms, "I know. I just worry is all."

"I know." He replied, hugging me tightly. "But we're okay."

Letting him go, I smiled as I took his face in my hands. Then Rick's hand was against my back, "We're gonna get cleaned up."

"Okay."

Going upstairs, we let ourselves into our room, seeing Judith sleeping in her pack 'n play. Stepping up to her, I smiled as I stared, gently stroking her hair and back. Then I moved to the bathroom. Rick followed, closing the double doors behind him. Turning to him, I was in his arms a second later, hugging me tightly. Hugging him back, I buried my face in his neck, starting to cry into him as shaking took me over.

"We'll find him." He told me.

Scoffing, I let him go and started to undress. "Have you noticed the walkers that have already started to surround us? We can't even get out to look for him. People died while we were gone. Our home was invaded. What the hell is going on, Rick?"

"I don't know." He replied as he undressed as well.

"We need to fortify the walls." I stated.

"And figure out a way to distract the walkers."

Sighing, I nodded, "And somehow find time to sleep and raise two children."

He smiled, "We'll figure it out. Together."

Pausing, I looked at him. His eyes slowly moved up and down my body, his smile growing. Standing there in just my bra and underwear, he was only in his boxers. Smiling at him, I stepped forward, running my hands up and down his chest before wrapping my arm around his neck, gripping his hair as I kissed him passionately.

"We don't have time for this." I told him as he moved his lips to my neck and then my chest.

"We just averted death. I think we deserve a few minutes."

Laughing lightly, his lips found mine again, "Maybe just a few minutes." He nodded. "Only I think they would be better spent naked and in the shower."

He swiftly unhooked my bra, making me laugh as we both slid our underwear off. He turned on the water, both of us getting in, letting the water flow over us as our lips moved effortlessly against each other. All our fatigue was erased and for a few brief minutes he and I were the only ones who existed. There wasn't time for it but if we didn't make just a little time for a little release, we'd be useless to everyone else. Even if it was slightly out of character of our fearless leader.

We got dressed in silence before we prepared ourselves to face our people. Stopping at Judith, I once against took her in, bending over I stroked her back, whispering 'I love you' to her. Rick did the same before pressing a kiss into my hair. He took my hand as we went downstairs, finding Carl in the kitchen.

"You look better." He smiled at me.

I smiled back, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "I feel better."

"You and Dad do it or something?" He smirked at me.

Laughing loudly, I shoved him, "What the hell, Carl?"

He just smiled at me, "Made you laugh."

Sighing, I nodded, "I needed a laugh."

"It's gonna be okay." He told me. "We'll figure it out."

"I know." I replied. "I have you and your dad and Judith and everyone else. I know we'll be okay. We'll find Glenn and we'll be okay."

"He'll be okay." He smiled. "He's tough."

"He really is." I said but I couldn't help but feel a melancholy start to set in.

"We should go." Rick stated. "We need to tell them something."

I smiled at him, "You need to tell them something."

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into him, "But you'll be there with me."

"Always." I said and kissed him, running my fingers through his hair. "I love you, Rick."

"I love you, Caroline." He replied and kissed me again before pressing his lips to my ear repeating, "I love you." Warmth ran through me and I was starting to kiss him again.

"Go, you guys." Carl told us.

"Yeah." I said and moved toward the door.

"Find Maggie." Carl added. "She stopped by when you guys were cleaning up."

"Thank you, Carl." I smiled. "Love you."

"Love you."

Going out onto the porch, Carol was waiting for us. Rick stopped, sighing before he nodded at her. Sitting down, we listened as she filled us in on everything that happened while we were gone. Most of it was okay, knowing that the people we loved her safe, but some of it wasn't. Morgan was causing trouble. Trouble that we couldn't afford to have. Something would have to be done. Before that we had to face our people.

Walking back toward the gate, we could hear walkers on all sides. They were lining the walls. Tobin and others were there attempting to reinforce the section that a truck had hit. That was what had caused the horn to start to blare. The sound of the dead hitting the wall was daunting. If even one panel came down, we'd be finished.

"Deanna." I said softly as I jogged to her, swiftly pulling her into my arms. "Are you okay?"

She smiled and nodded, though she still had a look of shock as she listened to the dead, "Yes."

"Good." I smiled.

"You can hear it. Some of you saw it. They got back here, half of them. Still enough to surround us 20 deep." Rick was telling everyone. "Look, I know you're scared. You haven't seen anything like this. You haven't been though anything like this. But we're safe for now. The panel the truck hit seems intact. We reinforced it just in case. Either way, the wall's gonna hold together. Can you? The others, they're gonna be back."

"They're gonna be back." Rosita added. She was terrified that Abraham wouldn't come back.

"Daryl, Abraham, Sasha, they have vehicles." Rick went on. "They're gonna lead them away, just like the others. And Glenn and Nicholas are gonna walk back through the front gate after." I wanted to believe him, but even I was finding it difficult. "They know what they're doing, and we know what we need to do. We keep noise to a minimum. Pull our blinds at night. Even better, keep the lights out. We'll try and make this place as quiet as a graveyard, see if they move on."

Scoffing, I crossed my arms, scuffing my shoe on the pavement. Rick looked at me and I straightened, nodding. I needed to support him. I needed to be what he needed me to be in order to get us through this.

"This place is a graveyard." Francine stated.

She wasn't wrong. We'd lost more than we could afford and now that there was no way to get out, we were in trouble. Everyone knew it. Giving a nice speech didn't change that. Wolves had invaded and now walkers were circling. We were in deep shit. Even if Rick was trying to make it not seem so bad. It was bad.

"The quarry broke open, and those walkers were heading this way. All of them." Aaron said, his tone filled with guilt. "The plan that Rick put into place stopped that from happening. He got half of them away. I was out there recruiting with Daryl. I wanted to try to get into a cannery and scavenge, and Daryl wanted to keep looking for people. We did what I wanted…and we wound up in a trap set up by those people. And I lost my pack. They must've followed our tracks. Those people who attacked us…they found their way back here because of me."

"Aaron." I said moving to him, putting my hand on his arm.

"There'll be more to talk about." Rick nodded.

"Deanna?" Tobin said and all eyes were on her. She turned and walked away. "Deanna?"

We all watched her go. She was broken. Too much had happened in too short a time. Running my hand down the back of Aaron's head, I smiled at him, looking at Rick before I followed Deanna. She needed someone. She needed someone whether she wanted it or not. Following her into her home, I shifted her into the living room, sitting her on the couch before I got her three fingers of scotch.

"Get yourself one, too." She told me as she accepted the glass.

"I don't do scotch." I smiled as I sat next to her. "And I shouldn't be drinking right now."

She nodded, taking a sip, "Neither should I."

"You need a release, Deanna. You need to talk about it, or scream, do anything you need to do that will help. You need help." She nodded, downing the glass before handing it to me. Smiling, I got her more, putting it in her waiting hand. "Tell me what I can do."

"What's there to do, Caroline?" She asked. "My love is dead. My son is dead. My people our dead. People are missing. Walkers are surrounding our home." She paused. "What would help a situation like this?"

Sighing, I rubbed her back, taking the glass and downed the rest of it. She looked at me, smiling before we both laughed lightly. Sitting there in silence, even that seemed better than anything else. But there wasn't time for that. There didn't seem enough time for anything.

"I need to find Maggie." I told her softly.

She nodded, "She's worried."

"I am, too."

"I need to check on my people."

Nodding, I hugged her, "You do."

Getting up, we both left, knowing that there were things that needed to be taken care of. Things I didn't want to take care of. I just wished something could be easy. Just this once. Was that too much to ask? Walking to where I was told Maggie was, I had to stop as I watched as people painted the names of the dead on the wall. Glenn's name was on it. He wasn't dead. Marching forward, I jerked the arm of one, making them face me.

"He's not dead." I shot at her. "Stop putting names on this wall without proof."

"Linny." Aaron said as he jogged up to me, putting his hands on my arms.

"No." I said and attempted to rub his name off of it. "He's not dead, Aaron. They don't know what they're talking about."

"Caroline." He said even softer as he pulled me away from them.

"He's not dead." I repeated as he swiftly moved me away from them.

"I know." He replied and he tightened his hold around my waist. "We'll find him."

Pulling away from him, I swiftly moved to where Maggie was making weapons, worried more than I was before. "Maggie?" I said softly. "What are you doing?" I frowned at her. She didn't say anything. "I'm worried about him, too, Maggie. But you can't try to get out. There are too many of them."

"I can't just wait here." She told me as she started to walk toward the armory.

Aaron fell in step with me, both of us following her in and watched as she started to load bullets into a magazine. Watching her, I sighed and started to do the same, knowing that if she was set on it there was no way in hell I was going to let her go alone.

"You're going out?" Aaron stated. She didn't say anything. "The flashlights, the rebar, the rope. You lower them off the wall a good distance apart, maybe spin them. That way, the walkers are drawn to each one and you open up a path." He said and paused. "Now you're gearing up. Just waiting for dark, right? What happens when you twist an ankle jumping down? Hmm? Or you just get slowed down by one of them and then you have to deal with all of them? I can't let you do this."

She looked at me and we loaded her bag with magazines and things into her pack. Putting it over her head, she rested it on her shoulder, turning to him. "You can't stop me."

"And you're just going to go along with her?" He frowned at me.

I nodded at him, "Yeah."

He just looked at us for a long minute, "I'm going to help you. And I know a safer way out."

"No." Maggie and I said together.

He smiled, "You can't stop me."

We looked at each other and I smiled at her. We couldn't stop him and I couldn't deny that the more we had the better chance we had at staying alive. This was a stupid move but I knew that I couldn't stop her. She was my sister in every way but blood. I wouldn't let her do this alone. Not when her husband was missing. A man who was as much a brother to me as anyone.

Following Aaron, he led us toward the wall, making it appear as if we were going to be going over. Maggie and I looked at each other, unsure of what he was thinking. He had said he had a safer way out. So far this looked to be about what Maggie had planned.

"I thought you said we weren't going over." Maggie stated.

"So far I'm not impressed." I smiled at him.

"We're not. We're going under." Aaron replied. "This leads to a sewer that was part of the old neighborhood that was here before they built this up. It'll take us under the wall…and hopefully past the walkers."

Smiling, I nodded, "That'd be something."

"Thanks…but I'm going on my own from here." Maggie told him.

"Maggie…" He said.

"No." She replied.

"We can handle it." I told him.

"You're staying back, too." She told me.

"Bullshit." I shot at her. "I'm going with you and that's that. You can't do this alone and you can't stop me."

"Fine." She replied, knowing there was nothing she could say.

"Maggie…" Aaron tried again. "Please. I can't – I can't watch more names go up on the wall."

My stomach turned and I met her eyes, nodding gently at her. She sighed and motioned him toward the sewer cap. He went in first, helping Maggie down and then me. It was dark, wet, and there was definitely a stench.

"Great plan." I told Aaron.

He smiled, "Thank you."

Shaking my head, I gently nudged him.

"If he's alive –" Maggie started.

"If?" Aaron interrupted.

"He's not dead." I told her defensively.

"He told Michonne he would've found some way to signal us if he got out. If he's alive or he's hurt or trapped, maybe taken. If he's alive, he needs my help. That's why I'm doing this. And if he's dead, I don't want to be waiting on him." She said and stopped, turning to us. "None of this is your fault. You don't need to do this." She told Aaron.

"People are dead. I was a part of that. And I have to live with that." He replied.

He kept walking as I glued myself to Maggie's side, "You can't think that he's dead."

"We need to be realistic about this." She stated.

"He's not dead!" I yelled, making both of them stop and look at me. "He's not dead, Maggie." I said lowering my voice. "You can't think like that. He's gonna be fine. He might be pinned down somewhere. He might not be able to let you know that he's alive but he's alive, Maggie. He wouldn't leave you. He's going to come home."

Feeling anger start to course, I charged past them, moving down the tunnel, tripping before pulling myself back up. Refusing Aaron's help, I stayed ahead of them, making it to where that ladder should have been to get back up onto the street. The ladder had broken off and was wedged in a tunnel that was blocked with sludge and debris.

"Damn it." I said softly.

"I haven't been down here since the beginning. Ah. Oh. This ladder must've fallen a long time ago." Aaron stated.

"Let's try and get it out of here." Maggie stated.

"Yeah." Aaron said and we all gripped it.

"On three, ready? One, two, three." We pulled but it barely moved. "One, two, three." She repeated.

We pulled harder and it broke free, hitting Aaron in the head, making him fall backward. Yelling out to him, blood was already coming from his hairline.

"Ah." He said and winced. "I'm okay. The ladder caught me."

"Damn it, Aaron." I said and bent in front of him. "Let me see."

"I'm okay." He repeated.

"I'll be the judge of that." I stated.

Only then we heard a walker growling. Looking through the hole, a walker lifted its head but it was more of a skeleton than anything. Maggie moved to stab it when another pushed through the sludge and debris that was in the tunnel. She moved backward until she was against the wall, the walker moving with her. Getting to my feet, I reached out to help her, watching as her hand slipped under its ribcage as she attempted to push it off of her, going straight through the walker's body. I gripped what was left of its shoulder when my thigh was grabbed and I swiftly pushed against its skull to keep the walker's teeth from digging into my leg. Aaron pulled his knife free, fumbling for a moment before he managed to bury his knife in the walker's skull. I didn't wait for it to fall away from me before I pulled my own knife free, stabbing the walker that Maggie was struggling with, ripping it away from her.

"Maggie." I said taking her head in my hands. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Thank you." She told me.

"You two okay?" Aaron said and he gripped both our arms.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Aaron…your head." Maggie said. She pulled gauze out of her pack and handed it to me.

Once again looking at the cut, I put pressure against it, "Got any tape in there?"

"Yeah." She told me and pulled some out.

"This could need stitches." I told him.

"Aaron, just go back." Maggie told him.

"No." He stated.

"Yes." I told him. "Maggie is right. We can do this."

"I was just there for you." He frowned. "For both of you."

"We could have done it." Maggie stated.

"Just lead the way." He told her. "Please?"

"Aaron." I said with a frown.

"No." He told me. "If you're staying then I'm staying. So lead the way."

Maggie and I sighed at each other and I motioned her forward. She nodded and starting moving again. Now that we were covered in walker slime, the smell of the sewer didn't seem as bad it had before. Trudging through the sludge, we came to the end to find the herd still outside of it. We hadn't bypassed them at all. There were still right here, walking and growling and ruining our lives.

"We're still too close." Maggie stated.

"We'll find a way." I told her. "We will. We'll get out of here and we'll find him."

"We just have to get through a few of them, then we're gone." Aaron added.

"No." Maggie replied.

"You ready?" Aaron asked.

"Yes." I said gripping my knife tightly.

Maggie shook her head, "No, we can't."

"You can't stay." Aaron told her. "We'll go."

"No. No!" Maggie yelled.

"Maggie, we can do this." I told her.

"It's over!" She yelled.

We took a step back as the dead appeared at the gate. It was too late. There was no way we could get out here without something happening. She was right. Tears started to well and I looked at Maggie who was starting to cry. Wrapping my arm around her, I put my hand over my mouth, pressing my forehead against the side of her head.

"I burned my last picture of him because I said I wasn't gonna need it anymore. Because I was never gonna be away from him again." She cried.

"Maggie." I said and hugged her tighter. "He'll be okay."

"I'm pregnant." She told me, making me freeze, holding my breath as I looked at her. "He didn't want me to go out there and I said yes. And if I would've gone…if I was with him, maybe I could've helped him." She said and paused.

"This isn't your fault." I told her. "You shouldn't have gone and you shouldn't be down here now."

She nodded, meeting my eyes, "I don't know if he's alive. He would've shown me by now. That's what Michonne said. I just want to see his face. I can't. I don't get to know what will happen. I won't get to know why it happened, what I did right or wrong. Not now. I have to live with that." Then she looked at Aaron. "You do, too."

He pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into him. Putting my hand on her back, she turned and hugged me as well. Holding her as tightly as humanly possible, I let her go, taking her head in my hands as I pressed my forehead to hers.

Then I leaned away, smiling at her, "Congratulations." She laughed lightly and nodded, hugging me again. "I'm so excited for you. We're gonna have a baby."

She laughed and shook her head at me, "I'm never getting rid of you, am I?"

"Never." I smiled, wiping the hair from her face. She laughed and we hugged again. "I love you so much, Maggie."

"I love you, too." She told me.

"This is really touching and all but can we do this back home?" Aaron interrupted.

We looked at him, both of us pulling him into our embrace. "We love you, too." I told him.

Finally making our way back, we all dispersed long enough to get cleaned up, not wanting to smell like walker anymore. Only now that I knew Maggie was pregnant, I was officially going to be attached to her hip. Glenn was missing, his wife was pregnant, walkers were surrounding us, and our people who had been killed were still piled up by our little graveyard. Everything officially sucked and out of all of us, Maggie just became the most important person. She was carrying our future. We had to protect that with everything we had.

"You don't have to be up here with me." She told me as I reached the top of the scaffolding.

"I know." I smiled. "Neither does he."

"Shut up." Aaron said and lightly shoved me.

"Stop." I said shoving him back.

Shoving back and forth, Maggie finally broke a smile, "Enough."

"Sorry." I said and straightened. "He started it."

"I don't care who started it, I'm gonna finish it." She replied.

Laughing, I wrapped my arm around her, "You're gonna make an amazing mom."

For a few minutes we just stared out over the wall, waiting for Glenn to show us that he was alive. He would do it. As soon as he was able he would show us that he was alive and then we'd fight to get him back inside the walls. But having him out there could be the best thing for Alexandria. He was smart and resourceful. He would be an asset to figure out how to get rid of these walkers. We just had to wait for him.

"I'll be right back." Maggie said and went down the ladder.

We watched her as she walked to the wall of names, starting to wash Glenn's from it. Sighing, I swiftly climbed down as well and started to help her. Then Aaron was there to do the same. Our little trio we'd formed. We'd see each other through this. Just like everyone else. Glenn wasn't dead and his name had no right to be up on this wall. There was hope. Maggie smiled, telling me that even she knew that there was hope.

"When he gets back, it's worth mentioning that Aaron, Erin, works for a boy or a girl, depending on the spelling. Just saying." He told her.

We both grinned at him. Hope was alive.