Hi! Thank you for reading my fanfiction(s). I have a fictionpress account you can visit it at this link: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/817679/

I am now admining a Facebook page with my good friend, SarcasmHurts; It is a Nyotalia Pairing page! Here's the link, https://www.facebook.com/pages/NyoPairings/1508451022752756?ref=tn_tnmn

Oh, you should check out SarcasmHurt's stories as well: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6967273/SarcasmHurts or her old account:https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6105999/TheGamingOtaku

My younger sister recently made a Fanfiction account and wrote her first fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10172470/Pumpkin-Patch-of-Candy-Canes (She's an incredible person and is a much better writer at her age than I was when I was as young as she is.)

I also made a newer Youtube account recently, and the link is right here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy8NYp4gvfS9njvzwRFRN8g

My old one is Tadamuoramutoheart: https://www.youtube.com/user/tadamuoramutoheart/featured

Here is a 2P!Pairings page that I admin by myself: https://www.facebook.com/TheDarkPairingsOfTheHetaliaUniverse?ref=hl

I opened up a multifandom roleplaying forum with some help from some friends of mine, and if you like to roleplay or would like to try it out, here's the link: https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Corner-Place-Multifandom-Roleplaying-Group/181487/

I recently became an admin of a group called the Plagiarism Project which deals with people stealing others' work and claiming it as their own. Plagiarism is a huge problem in many fandoms, and should never be tolerated or liked. Plagiarism is also considered a crime. Like all crimes it should be stopped. Here's the link to the forum to report any plagiarized works, and it even expresses more detail than what I just said: https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Plagiarism-Project/176783/

I created an 8tracks account recently and here is the link, so that you can listen to the playlist(s) that I've made: https:///the-worldly-cup-of-tea

I recently completed my part of a gift fic exchange, and I shall leave you the other writer's account info: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1047776/ or her AO3 account: http:///users/VampirePaladin/pseuds/VampirePaladin

Check out my friend's deviantart account! (She's the same one that was admining a page with me, and has two fanfic accounts!): http:///

I've recently co-written a story with one of my amazing friends and the link to it is right here as he posted the story! (Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12013030/1/A-Nudge-in-the-Right-Direction) -The story can be found in my favorites or by going to my friend's profile page and finding the story titled A Nudge In The Right Direction here: ImperatorAnonymous

Links to stories of mine that are translated into other languages!

Frozen Fire in Mandarin Chinese instead of English link (Frozen/The Rise Of The Guardians crossover with the main pairing of Jelsa.): http:///p/4532411823?lp=5028&mo_device=1&is_jingpost=0&pn=0& (If the link does not show it is h t t p : / / tieba . baidu . com / p / 4532411823?lp=5028&mo_device=1&is_jingpost=0&pn=0& ) -Remove the spaces and the end parenthesis.

He Couldn't Have Her in Vietnamese instead of English (Onesided!FraViet Hetalia fanfic): https:///2016/07/17/one-shot-he-couldnt-have-her-hetalia-franceviet/ (If link doesn't work: //babybluegarden .wordpress .com /2016/07/17/ one-shot-he-couldnt-have-her-hetalia-franceviet/)-Remove the spaces and the parenthesis.

These Moments Together in Vietnamese instead of English (PruViet, Hetalia fanfic): https:///2016/07/17/drabble-these-moments-together-hetalia-pruviet/ (If link doesn't work: babybluegarden .wordpress .com /2016/07/17/ drabble-these-moments-together-hetalia-pruviet/)-Remove spaces and parenthesis.

Truthfully In Love in Vietnamese instead of English (Hong Kong X Taiwan X Vietnam three way pairing, Hetalia fanfic): https:///2016/07/20/drabble-truthfully-in-love-hetalia/ (If link doesn't work: babybluegarden .wordpress .com /2016/07/20/ drabble-truthfully-in-love-hetalia/)-Remove spaces and parenthesis.

To Fall Asleep With No Worry in Russian instead of English (AmeLiet, Hetalia fanfic): https:///readfic/5726911/14723671 (If link doesn't work: https : / / ficbook . net / readfic / 5726911/14723671) -Remove spaces and parenthesis.

Can We? in German instead of English (DenNed, Hetalia fanfic): https:///s/5a36d1120003b7ab1f20253c/1/Can-we- (If link doesn't work: https : / / www . fanfiktion .de / s / 5a36d1120003b7ab1f20253c / 1 / Can-we- )-Remove spaces and parenthesis.

Her Unbelievable Strength in French instead of English: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13702989/1/Her-Unbelievable-Strength
Her Unbelievable Strength in French is also on AO3: https:///works/26632630 If AO3 link doesn't work, here it is all spaced out: h t t p s : / / archiveofourown . org / works / 26632630

I can't think of any other links to share with you, so I'll leave it at that!

A tumblr page that I found randomly since I don't have a tumblr that inspired a few fanfics of mine: http:///

I will make a list of what it inspired right here for every fanfic that came from one of their prompts:

Hidden Truth

The Two Artistic Italians

Comfort Food

My Family

Waking Up To Pancakes

Burger Confession

Storms Make Friends And Lead To Romance At Times

The Way That We Met

Almost Caught

Not So Scary

Unlawful Anger And Love

Results After Breakup

Love By The Roller Coaster

Crashing Waves And Nude Paintings

The Big Date

Ticklish Belly

Wifi And News

Failed Relationships And Pregnancies

Half-Siblings

Pizza For Dinner Or Each Other

Sharing Coffee

Images

How To Flirt With An Italian

Fat?

How To Pretend To Be Single

Simple Joys

The Love Of A Witch

The New Characters

Falling Rocks

Not Alone Anymore

Late And Rude Awakening

The Request

Soaked And Trembling

Life Alert

When We Dance

Awkward Seduction Attempt

The Meme Answer

Waiting To Be Drawn

Learning To Dance

Lipstick Smears

We Only Have Each Other Now
Her Romeo

Too Soon Meant Nothing Anymore

Gracias Por Todos

Fancy Dinner And Paid Taxes Or Jail Time

Our Honeymoon In Ancient Greece

Stubborn Ducks

By Your Side, I'm Whole

An Unknown Number And An Open Window

You got a little too into flag football and tackled me and now you have to carry me to the nurses office ‘cause you broke my leg you asshole -ar-gyle. This prompt inspired a oneshot of mine, and all credit for the prompt goes to ar-gyle.

I'm Sorry For Meeting You This Way

I found more prompts by ar-gyle that have inspired me as well, so here are the other fanfics inspired off of ar-gyle's prompts.

I'll Miss You Once You Are Gone

Do not imagine your OTP in the following situation:

Person A is walking down the hallway at school/work and Person B walks up behind them and pulls on their bag to get their attention. Person A flips out into self defense mode and this is really awkward because I’ve pinned you against the wall with my elbow in your throat and our faces are inches from each others and we are ~just friends~ but holy fuck do you look hot when you’re mad and you just pinned me against a wall and there is a lot of possible sexual tension here lord help. teenagefrankzhang. This prompt that I found on Tumblr inspired a one shot of mine.

How We Began In High School

I have two fanfics that are now up that are inspired off of PromptSpot on Tumblr. They will be labeled on the fanfiction summaries as well as with the pictures as that is how the prompts are on PromptSpot. Here is my list for them:

To Disappear

Our Second Anniversary

I have some fanfics that are or will be inspired by woah-au, so here is the list:

The Art Of Jellyfish

I have a few ideas that may spread to several ideas inspired by putthepromptsonpaper on Tumblr.(The prompt shall be listed with what is inspired by it. The prompts there are gorgeous from what I've seen, and now I'm nervous over my inspiration, and I hope that the person who runs it doesn't mind me writing fanfiction off of it. I'll list the fandom and pairing if that applies.)

“I liked you because you didn’t know how broken I am. But I need you to know. Because if you don’t see my cracks, then you aren’t really seeing me.” -To Let You See All Of Me (Hetalia/RusIta)

Fanfiction inspired off of prompts given to me by a friend. :)

Broken Beyond Belief(Hetalia/Belarus centric with very light onesided!RusBela.) (Link: /journal-writing-prompts.html)
Grown Alike From Hatred(Hetalia/Spain & Portugal as pirates with their sort of hatred sort of not bond with mentions of Hetero!SpUK.) (Link: )
Forgotten Anniversary(Hetalia/Lietbel/with references to past!Onesided!RusBela.) (Link: /journal-writing-prompts.html)

Wedding Nerves And Jitters (Hetalia/SpaBel) (Link: )

Chirping Disaster (Hetalia/America and nuclearly formed creature based/no pairings.) (No link as my friend wrote out and came up with the prompt herself.)

A list of fanfiction inspired off of sentence-fragments on tumblr. Some may have the prompt with them.

My Sweet Protection -"I will always be there to protect you."

Pink Sock

Perhaps I Do Like This -"You look incredible in that."
Matching New Outfits And Balancing Our Careers For Our Children -"I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."

List of fanfiction inspired off of For The Masochist In You off of Tumblr(http:///):
The One Lifetime We Weren't (SpaMano various ways)

Here's a list of fanfiction inspired off of shittyaus on Tumblr:
Comfort For An Insomniac (SpaMano/I know you’re an insomniac and all but if you keep pacing at 3 AM i will personally cut your legs off because it’s keeping me up.)

Why? (Amnesiac!Finland, Sweden friendship, sort of onesided Finland ships with various nations/i have no idea what mistletoe is and why the heck is someone trying to kiss me H E L P)

Here is a list of fanfiction inspired off of unblockingwritersblock off of Tumblr.
How To Keep A Demon The Correct Way By Yukio Okumura (Title prompt: How To Keep A Demon The Correct Way)

Held Up Outside The Door (Dialogue prompt: “If you don’t let me in that room he’s going to die, and then me and you are going to have a problem. Understand?”)

Here is a list of my fanfics that were inspired off of promptsofthesoul on Tumblr, dialogue prompts shall be in parenthesis beside the fanfic:
Red Paint("I'm an artist; I'm allowed to be covered in paint.")

Here is a list of prompts inspired off of Daily AU Prompts off of Tumblr (http:///):

The Boy With The Sketchbook

Here is a list of fanfics inspired off of prompts from OTP Prompts And OT3 Prompts from Tumblr (http:///):

Passion Defeats Doubt

Here is a list of fanfics that I wrote based off of prompts from PromptPlots on Tumblr: (http:///):
Too Tall Of A Tree (Elsa/Anna, Frozen) ( “Can I put the tree topper on this year?”)

Here is a list of fanfics inspired off of the amazing prompts from WitterPrompts on Tumblr: (http:///) (The dialogue prompt will be in parenthesis beside the fanfic that it inspired.)

To Love The Son Of Your Sworn Enemy (“I’ve always had faith in you.”)

To Remove Your Fear (“This is the place where people lose their fears.”)

Here is a list of fanfics that I wrote inspired off of OopsPrompts on Tumblr: (http:///) (Dialogue prompts are in the parenthesis beside the title.)

I Won't Do It Again, I Promise (“You can’t murder people just for being ignorant and obnoxious.” “Maybe you can’t.”)
The Most Amazing Man In The World Is In Love With Me (“People will think we’re dating!” “OK.” "Wait … Are we dating?")

Here is a list of fanfics that I wrote off of the Writers Are Writers' prompts: (Dialogue prompts that inspired the fanfic are off to the side.) (http:///)

Time May Pass, But Love Only Grows Stronger(“You kept it…” “Don’t you start reading too much into it. You gave me something, I liked it. End of story.”)

Here is the list of fanfics that I wrote inspired off of One True Pairing Ideas on Tumblr (Dialogue prompts are off to the side.): http:///
To Be Treated Out To Eat ( “I’m so hungry I could eat a— stop looking at me like that in public.”)

Here is a list of fanfics inspired off of the prompts from alice-moving-under-skies: (https:///):

To Have Way Too Much Fun With Our Roles

Here is a list of fanfics that I've written based off of prompts from otp-imagines-cult (http:///):

Picking Out A Hat

Here's a list of fanfics written inspired off of booklovergirl01's prompts (https://):

Our Markings Define Our Identities Better Than Anyone Would Have Guessed

A Difference In Taste

To Ponder Soulmates And Yet Fall In Love With My Own
To Notice Our Love That Festered Before Us

Here are a list of fanfics inspired off of prompts from the-modern-typewriter on Tumblr: (http://)

Familiar Games And Gentle Love (“I love you.” “Ew, gross.” “We’re married!” Their partner grinned at them fondly and leaned in for a kiss.“Ew.” Came the flat, secretly amused, nose wrinkled reply. “Gross.”)

Here is one fanfic that I wrote based off of a prompt by Otter on https : / / prompts . neocities . org /

When Exhaustion Comes Second (A Domestic fluff, Modern AU, for ZenYuki.) (Prompt: Your prompt: Person B getting up in the middle of the night to make a snack and accidentally waking up Person A because they didn't stop the microwaves obnoxious beeping in time.)

Here's a list of all of the fanfics, I've written inspired off of It's Space Buns, (h t t p s : / / its - space - buns . tumblr . com /):

Artwork, Boredom, And Old Friends (Study Hall AU, PruHun, Hetalia, where Gilbert and Elizaveta somehow manage to get themselves kicked out of study hall.)

When The Curtain Unwinds (Very slight AU, Subaru X Nana, My Roommate Is A Cat, where Nana is absolutely determined to make Subaru smile somehow.)

Here's a list of fanfics that I wrote based off of knifeofdaudwall's kissing prompt list:

A Promise Between Us (ANS, ZenYuki, prompt four fill.)

Here's a list of (mostly requested) fics that fill Prompting You's physical affection prompts:

Winnings (And What To Do With Them) (ANS, Mitsuhide and Obi friendship fic, requested by Sabraeal.)

Here's a list of (mostly requested) fics that fill Prompting You's Nonverbal Ways To Say I Love You:

An Answer And A Response (What An Offer Can Do) (ANS, ObiYuki, requested by Sabraeal.)

I recently wrote and finished writing a fanfiction for TaiCan(Hetalia) based off of an OTP Challenge in particular The 30 Days Of OTP Challenge off of Tumblr. I filled out every prompt in order, one post a day. (TaiCan is technically not my OTP, but I do ship it, and it needs more love as it is mostly unknown to the Hetalia fandom.)

Challenge prompts listed:
30 Days of OTP Challenge
Holding hands
Cuddling somewhere
Gaming/watching a movie
On a date
Kissing
Wearing each others’ clothes
Cosplaying
Shopping
Hanging out with friends
With animal ears
Wearing kigurumis
Making out
Eating ice cream
Genderswapped
In a different clothing style
During their morning ritual(s)
Spooning
Doing something together
In formal wear
Dancing
Cooking/baking
In battle, side-by-side
Arguing
Making up afterwards
Gazing into each others’ eyes
Getting married
On one of their birthdays
Doing something ridiculous
Doing something sweet
Doing something hot

I recently finished an OT3 Challenge, and so here are the prompts for it. (Some I modified to make less raunchy, because I don't write things that are really raunchy, but these were the original prompts regardless.)

OT3 Challenge by bearspeak
1. Baking
2. Sleeping

3. Genderbend

4.Just hanging out (could be any activity from reading books to watching tv, etc.)
5. Watching Tv
6. Kisses on the cheek

7. Massages

8. Cosplaying

9. Comfort
10. Possesive (can be amongst each other or other people)

11. Music (can be just silly sing alongs, or some singing/playing to the other)

12. Photo sets (can be something like a reel from a photobooth to Purikura)

13. Amusement Park

14. Childhood (what they would all be like as little kids together, or any one of them being depicted as a child, etc.)
15. Date

16. Fairytale

17. Doing something steamy/naughty
18. Feeling left out/third wheel
19. Being included again (being shown they matter in the group)

20. In the rain

21. Lost

22. Day at the beach

23. Hide and Seek
24. Animal ears/features

25. Detectives
26. Fetish
27. Making the Other Watch (nsfw)

28. Celebrating one of their birthdays

29. Ploygamous marriage

30. Being a family (depicting life after marriage, with or without Child(ren) )

EXTRA:

31. Three Parents (If guy/girl/guy then one child from each guy. If girl/guy/girl then a baby from each girl. If guy/guy/guy then adoption. If girl/girl/girl then adoption or there’s the choice of a sperm bank for either one, two or all three girls)
32. Sick
33. Drunk

Stop the Pairing Wars!
By copying and pasting this onto my profile, I vow to respect other pairings and the people who like them.
1) 'I will not insult the authors, explain why the characters cannot be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.'
2) 'I will give my opinions but will not insult pairings.'
3) 'I will avoid reading about pairings if I hate them.'
4) 'I will keep an open mind about stories even if I despise the pairing.'
If you agree then you will paste this onto your profile. (I ship several different ships as made evident by my stories, and I love to get in to new pairings! I'd love it if you want to show me that greatness of a ship that I don't ship yet! Feel free to request ships for me to write about or look up!)

My faith: Jesus

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him master...

He had no degree ,yet they called him teacher...

He had no medicine , yet they call him healer..

He had no army , yet the kings feared him..

He won no military battles , yet he conquered the world ...

He commited no crime , yet they crucified him...

He was buried in a tomb , yet he lives today ...

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us ...

If you belive in God and Jesus Christ his son

then copy and paste this into your" style="cursor:pointer;text-decoration:underline;border-bottom: 1px solid green;color:green;padding-bottom:1px;" initTrans('http:///in.php?kwd=your&ref1=63726f73737269646572&ref2=300126322500000000&ref3=144f0a0d6824b81d0de4a0c3bc00dffb&capn=cr_ui_us_int_kw_001_x&uid=e15fiZBokm')your profile

If you ignore him in the holy Bible he says

"If you deny me before man , i will deny you before my Father in heaven"

I feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us. If you believe in God and Jesus Christ is his Son. Then copy and paste this in your profile. If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Feeling blue? Talk to God today!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16.

if you believe that there is a God copy and paste this in YOUR profile

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

God totally owns fanfiction, everyone on it, every thought concerning it, every thought otherwise in the world, every particle in the world and universe, Is and loving and amazingly forgiving (takes a dramatic gasp of air and continues) has power and wisdom beyond even our wildest dreams, and DOES EXIST . If you agree, please, do copy and paste.

If you believe Jesus is the only way to be saved from your sins and is the only way to God, and therefore Heaven, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: Kaisaan Greenleaf, Xaja Silversheen, Obiwriter341, powerrangersfangirl22, TailsDoll13, sctwilightvampwolfgal

If you love God, copy and paste this into your profile. 98% of teens will not stand up for God, so repost this into your profile if you are one of the two precent that will stand up for God.

Found this on a profile and it really touched my heart to see this.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives one another in some way. Look for God in others. You now have two choices, you can :1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1. 'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'

To all other young fiction authors out there. Copy and paste if you wish. It just needs to be said, and needs to be heard;

You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known?

It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they decide to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning.

So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before.

I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate, (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door*. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen - or a keyboard - until you use it.

And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever.

We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gift language and storytelling for a reason.

This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth.Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story worthwhile.

When I was 13-year-old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn't really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you've either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12-years-old when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favorite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn't sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till if the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular color.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn't going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn't even sex, he just masturbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9-years-old, her 12-year-old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn't even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and I was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who I had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn't feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must have heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn't listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

If you doubt the historical accuracy of something I write in regards to anything in history that I make reference to or even whether I am writing a story following Greek Myths or anything else that requires research, look it up before you tell me that I am wrong in a review. I do, do my research, and if you find inaccuracies after researching, then let me know. If you wouldn't call message a published author to complain about historical and/or universe inaccuracies, do not do it to others. If you are a Miraculous fan and legitimately upset with Alya not looking up Lila's claims and lies, then don't be an ignorant Alya to other people. Be a fact checking Alya. Please treat other writers with this same level of decency, because no one deserves to get yelled at in their reviews for being historically inaccurate when they are historically accurate. I know a lot of people check reviews as if they will inform a potential reader to the quality of the story that they are about to read, so please think carefully before using reviews as motivation to read a story or reviewing, yourself. I get these kinds of reviews a lot, and Fanfiction is no longer notifying people by E-Mail rather they got PMs, which means my responses with sources are not guaranteed to be read. So, before you claim that someone is historically inaccurate when you do not have proof, look it up. An extra five minutes or half an hour or more will not hurt you, and always check your PMs too.

You say vampires, I say Countries

You say Rob Pattinson, I say Scott Freeman

You say Bella and Edward, I say Austria and Hungary

You say Team Edward, I say Team Axis/Allies

You say Bella, I say Liechtenstein

You say Jacob, I say America

You say Jasper, I say Japan

You say Alice, I say Hungary

You say Rosalie, I say Belarus

You say the wolf pack, I say The BTT

You say Emmett, I say Germany

You say Carlisle, I say England

You say Esme, I say Hungary

You say Forks, I say Silesia

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast Hetalians: Try to cheer a country up to stop the rain.

NORMAL PEOPLE: On a bad day will say "Today is just not my day." Hetalians: "Why did England curse me again?"

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! Hetalians: "Mein Gott!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings Hetalians: Ask Italy to cheer them up.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! Hetalians: "Shut up or I will invade your vital regions."

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that Hetalians are stupid Hetalians: Know that normal people are stupid.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! Hetalians: Whip out their woks.

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation Hetalians: Already booked in for a holiday to Russia.

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile Hetalians: MUST have this on their profile!

What's yours?

List twelve of your favorite characters from Hetalia, in no particular order.

1. Hungary

2.Prussia

3.France

4.Spain

5.North Italy

6.Romano

7.South Korea

8.China

9.Russia

10.Norway

11.Wy

12.Sealand

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Hmm... Yesterday, I believe.

"One and Seven are in a happy relationship until Nine runs off with Seven. One, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two.

Hungary and South Korea are in a happy relationship until Russia runs off with South Korea. Hungary, brokenhearted, has a hot one night stand with Wy and a brief unhappy affair with Sealand, then follows the wise advice of North Italy and finds true love with Prussia. Uhh... Is Hungary now a bi-pedophile?

What title would you give this fic?

How The Hungarian Found True Love With Her Best Friend

How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

If South Korea and China were canon, I'd be devastated. I love China! I do need to find an amazing South Korea shipping; I haven't really been looking.

What would you think if you found Five was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

I would be ecstatic! We act similar, and I'm sure that we'd get along well!

How would you react if you saw Eight and Eleven in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

China and Wy are in a closet with a rubber ducky? They better not be doing anything nasty! Wy's pretty young anyway, and China's mine! I would probably scream.

How would you feel if Two dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

Prussia dissed me; he probably didn't think that I was awesome or something like that. I would probably cry; I am a very emotional person!

If you saw Nine and Three in bed together, what would you do?

Russia and France are in bed together! I would cry, and scream. I am in love with Russia. I have a feeling though that that wouldn't happen. Let's play a game of what would England do if he caught them!

What would you say if you found out that Twelve was a rapist?

If I found out that Sealand was a rapist! What? He is underage. I would probably question his brother, England, about this, and try to explain to the poor child that rape is wrong. That is a disturbing picture though.

You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year, and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find Ten rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

Norway is rummaging through my stuff? I would probably squeal and hug him! I would proceed to ask him where his brother, Iceland, is, so that my sister could go out with Iceland.

What would you think if Two was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If Two is already emo and slits his/her wrists already, what would you think if they became the most optimistic person in the world?

Why would Prussia do that? I would cry, and hold him. I would tell him that Prussia is the most awesome country that ever existed, and that he is still awesome. I would tell him about his fangirls, and explain to him that he is a well-loved country.

What would you feel this second if Four gave you a daisy right now?

If Spain gave me a daisy, I would probably squeal, and hug him. I would thank him profusely, and explain to him that he is the character in which I relate most too. I would also tell him that he is my favorite of The BTT!

Six has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

Why would Romano steal my hairbrush? I would ask for it back kindly, and call up my friend to inform her sister that I have seen Romano. She would be thrilled at that. I'd probably hug him just because he is there, and gush over his cuteness! He has an adorable personality! Ooh, that would be so fun!

Seven, Nine, and Four have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?

South Korea, Russia, and Spain have banded together? I can't see why Russia would do that. I'd probably try to kiss Russia, and giggle over the song. If Spain is singing, I'd fangirl all over them!

Two and Eleven are your teachers. What would you do?

Prussia and Wy are my teachers? Is Wy even old enough to teach? I'd be thrilled, but knowing Prussia, I wouldn't learn much. Wy would probably teach well, but with an attitude. Oh, I'd love her class!

You know you're obsessed with Hetalia when:

You refer to your country by Hetalia’s human names for them.

You actually study history for making fics/crack pairings.

You wish Prussia still existed.

You know that a country named Sealand exists…and you want to live in it.

You can tell America and…um…oh yeah, Canada apart!

You know more about other countries than you ever did before.

The world news isn't the same…its awesome now!

You WANT to watch the news and the Olympics.

You say ‘Awesome’ a lot.

You want to learn different languages.

Pasta, tomatoes, wurst, maple syrup and hamburgers are now your favorite foods.

You spazz out when you see a frying pan, chick, polar bear, hamburger, dog, koala, map, faucet pipe etc.

You want to go to a UN meeting.

You smile when you see labels like ‘Made in China’ or ‘Made in Russia’.

You say ‘kolkolkol’ when you want to give people the creeps.

In Social Studies class you refer to the countries as ‘he’ or ‘she’ instead of ‘it’.

You are convinced that all British people are bad cooks.

Your mind goes to “other things” when your teacher mentions France’s “relationships” with other countries.

You know facts about other countries that creep people out.

When someone is talking about history, you giggle and not pay attention to the other people who are giving you weird looks.

You spazz out after finding out you made a friend with someone with the same name as a Hetalia character.

You celebrate every country’s Independence Day.

You laugh when you see a broken chair.

You have dubbed that chair ‘Busby’s Chair’.

You know how to pronounce each country’s name correctly.

Historical figures are now your celebrities.

Historians are fanfic writers to you.

Historical pictures are fan art to you.

The UN meetings are now a sitcom.

It’s impossible to hate a country.

All songs seem to fit Hetalia whether it’s sad, disturbing, happy, love-dovey, etc.

You play or listen to Chopin when you are mad.

"Do as Italy...Make Pasta not war"

"Do as America...Make a movie not a drama"

"Do as England...Burn your food not everybody else wishes"

"Do as Spain...Raise children not enemies"

"Do as Germany...Follow the rules, even if you don't understand them"

"Do as Austria...Play music even if you don't have a rhythm"

"Do as Japan...Grow don't get stuck in your past"

"Do as France...When in doubt, push random buttons."

"Do as China...When startled, grab a wok."

"Do as Canada...When you feel out of place, just be invisible"

"Do as Russia...Maintain your innocence, even if your past is not that childish"

"Do as Prussia...Live, even when there seems nothing to live for"

"Do as Switzerland...Stay neutral even if the world's breaking apart"

"Do as Sealand...Speak, even if no one is listening"

"Do as Japan...Show intruders no mercy."

"Do as Natsu...when in doubt, punch someone"

"Do as Erza...unlock the armor surrounding your heart."

"Do as Juvia...never EVER give up on the one you love."

"Do as Tamaki...if you don't have a family, just build one of your own!"

"Do as Kid...balance your world...or fall on the floor crying about how the world is anything BUT balanced"

"Do as Hikaru and Kaoru...let your world grow"

"We may not always be able to carry our fallen comrades home, but we always carry their memory." - Levi (Attack on Titan)

"When life changes to be harder, change yourself to be stronger"- Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail)

Normal people think being invisible is impossible. Hetalia Fans KNOW being invisible is possible because Prof.Canada proved it.

Normal people, wouldn't kill themselves because they are too scared of pain. Hetalia Fans wouldn't kill themselves because they love themselves too much.

Normal people say, "Yolo and Swag." Hetalian Fans say, "Make Pasta not War. "

Normal People love Florida! Hetalia Fans are smart enough to NOT go to Florida.

Normal People say they are cool. Hetalian Fans say they are Ze Awesome Prussia.

Normal People don't know that Sealand is real. Hetalian Fans are already staying at Sealand's place for the summer.

Normal People don't become one with Mother Russia. Hetalian Fans are Mother Russia.

Normal People aren't heros. Hetalian Fans are SuperMan!

Normal People listen to JB and 1D. Hetalian Fans listen's to Artie rock out his guitar!

Normal people are rude and mean. Hetalia Fans are a family!

Normal people don't believe in magic. Hetalia Fans live with unicorns!

Normal People won't repost this. Hetalia Fans will repost this!

You say vampires, I say Countries

You say Rob Pattinson, I say Scott Freeman

You say Bella and Edward, I say Austria and Hungary

You say Team Edward, I say Team Axis/Allies

You say Bella, I say Liechtenstein

You say Jacob, I say America

You say Jasper, I say Japan

You say Alice, I say Hungary

You say Rosalie, I say Belarus

You say the wolf pack, I say The BTT

You say Emmett, I say Germany

You say Carlisle, I say England

You say Esme, I say Hungary

You say Forks, I say Silesia

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast Hetalians: Try to cheer a country up to stop the rain.

NORMAL PEOPLE: On a bad day will say "Today is just not my day." Hetalians: "Why did England curse me again?"

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! Hetalians: "Mein Gott!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings Hetalians: Ask Italy to cheer them up.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! Hetalians: "Shut up or I will invade your vital regions."

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that Hetalians are stupid Hetalians: Know that normal people are stupid.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! Hetalians: Whip out their woks.

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for VACATION Hetalians: Already booked in for a holiday to Russia.

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile Hetalians: MUST have this on their profile!

Please tell everyone to help stop shark finning tell this to everyone online or in real life no matter who they are and go to this

site" style="cursor:pointer;text-decoration:underline;border-bottom: 1px solid green;color:green;padding-bottom:1px;" initTrans('http:///in.php?kwd=site&ref1=63726f73737269646572&ref2=300126322500000000&ref3=144f0a0d6824b81d0de4a0c3bc00dffb&capn=cr_ui_us_int_kw_001_x&uid=e15fiZBokm')site / Every year tens of millions of sharks die a slow death because of finning. Finning is the inhumane practice of hacking off the shark’s fins and throwing its still living body back into the sea. The sharks either starve to death, are eaten alive by other fish, or drown (if they are not in constant movement their gills cannot extract oxygen from the water). Shark fins are being “harvested” in ever greater numbers to feed the growing demand for shark fin soup, an Asian “delicacy”.

Not only is the finning of sharks barbaric, but their indiscriminate slaughter at an unsustainable rate is pushing many species to the brink of extinction. Since the 1970s the populations of several species have been decimated by over 95%. Due to the clandestine nature of finning, records are rarely kept of the numbers of sharks and species caught. Estimates are based on declared imports to shark fin markets such as Hong Kong and China.

is campaigning to achieve a worldwide ban on shark finning. That means that all sharks caught must be landed intact – their fins must not be removed while the shipping vessel is at sea.

If you are concerned about the plight of sharks – an animal that has been around since before the dinosaurs – there are plenty of things you can do to help. So go to our campaigns page and take action now! please comment on this site" style="cursor:pointer;text-decoration:underline;border-bottom: 1px solid green;color:green;padding-bottom:1px;" initTrans('http:///in.php?kwd=site&ref1=63726f73737269646572&ref2=300126322500000000&ref3=144f0a0d6824b81d0de4a0c3bc00dffb&capn=cr_ui_us_int_kw_001_x&uid=e15fiZBokm')site asking for the release of lolita the orca and ask her to be listed as a endangered species /#!document… share this around everywhere

please join this site and spread this around everywhere please join this site please tell this site to everyone no matter who and tell everyone to join it link is here http:///?page_id=29 not to long ago two orcas where captured in russia please sign this to help free them https:///actions/1764056-a-petition-to-thomas-bach-international-olympic-committee-sochi-olympic-organising-committee share this around everywhere this is not where lolita is but these two need help very badly

(Not all of this seems credible anymore. I would advise looking up the facts, because some of these in the list are intended to be emotional and/or breed hate in people. Some do seem to be facts, so I do not want to delete it, but read carefully. I would edit 'look deep' to say look it up, because often times research helps a ton but I feel since it is someone else's writing, to not change it.)

i will prove to you why captivity is evil and why orcas and other animals shoud be free

100 reasons why captivity is evil

1 orcas live much longer out is the wild true fact

2 orcas are much nicer to people out in the wild

3 orcas are much happier out in the wild

4 orcas never attack people in the wild

5 seaworld and others treat orcas very terribly

6 the tanks are to small for the orcas

7 seaworld does not care about the orcas or otheranimals

8 they also dont care about the people who come there

9 they say they do and make it seem that way but they dont look deep and you will see its true actions speak louder than words

10 they interbreed orcas thats so sick

11 there interbreeding orcas kills orcas all over not saves them

12 orcas have to be with there families

13 orcas are forced to perform tricks and they dispise it

14 orcas are healthier in the wild

15 orcas have to be with other orcas no matter what they can never be alone

16 seaworld drills orcas teeth how evil is that

17 orcas are way more social in the wild to people and animals

18 orcas are more fun in the wild

19 its free to see them in the wild

20 orcas are more smarter in the wild

21 orcas are more mature in the wild

22 orcas never live that long in captivity a lot of the times they die in there teen years

23 orcas die terribly in captivity

24 orcas are not normal in captivity

25 orcas cry for there families everyday in captivity

26 orcas are never happy in captivity

27 orcas are mostly always happy in the wild

28 orcas need a lot of space they dont in captivity

29 its so swet so see orcas with there families

30 orcas are mostly not starving in the wild

31 in captivity thay have to earn there food by doing being forced to do tricks the right way if not they get little to no food

32 seaworld hybrids orcas you cant do that

33 seaworld and other marine parks are killing orcas makeing them endangered

34 seaworld and other marie parks lie about orcas and other animals look deep its true

35 orcas are always petrified in captivity if not then there always scared

36 orcas never sleep that well in captivity

37 there families are never happy that there orca was taken away from them and cry everyday for them

38 orcas and there familes will never be happy until there back togther

39 orcas and there familes never forget eachother no matter how young the orcas are and how many years its true look deep

40 orcas love there familes more then anything

41 there familes never sleep well knowing there orca was taken away

42 seaworld likes to make orcas sad all the time

43 orcas never leave there familes

44 seaworld and other marine parks will do anything to get wild orcas and keep the ones they have its ture look deep

45 orcas mature faster in the wild

46 seaworld and others dont care if orcas or other animals die

47 they enjoy it when they die

48 and they enjpy takeing orcas from there familes

49 they like to make orcas and other animals suffer

50 they will never regert it

51 they take orcas away from there moms

52 orcas have killed people in captivity beacuse there frustrated 4 times in the wild orcas have never killed people

53 orcas fight other orcas in captivity that never happens in the wild

54 orcas never reject there calfs in the wild

55 orcas are always looking out for eachother in the wild

56 orcas are always helping eachother in the wild

57 orcas are more strong in the wild

58 orcas almost never get sick in the wild

59 orcas recover faster in the wild

60 the death rates are much lower in the wild then in captivity

61 orcas are more gentle in the wild

62 orcas dont kill themselfs in the wild

63 orcas have way more room in the wild

more reasons will be comeing soon the more you buy tickets to see there shows and there other products the longer they will stay if you stop going to see them and dont give them money they will be forced to close down and the orcas and the other animals will be free so please tell everyone online or in real life friend or stranger not to buy a ticket or anyother product from marine parks oh if you speak more then english tell people in other languages sbout this thank you

If you've ever wondered what Kisame would taste like as Sushi, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Tobi should run for president, copy and paste this onto your profile and add you name! Aurora1495. midnightstar237, DaughterOfTheRedCloud!!sctwilightvampwolfgal

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Japan is cool copy this to your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." copy and paste this into your profile if you didn't even know sexy was gone.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

If you're Christian and proud of it post this!

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: Sasuke, Nagihiko, Edward, (Elric) Hikaru and Kaoru Hotachiin, etc...

Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill many people.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

I called Sasuke gay and he hit me with his purse.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

Wherever there is life there is love

I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident

Sometimes all we need are each other

Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer?

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said "pull" or vice versa copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, put this into your profile.

If you have ever had a dream involving any fictional character (yours or someone else’s), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something everyone became scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile. (teeheehee…FANFICTION!!!)

If Fanfiction is to you what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you are against “book butchering” –– what happens when movie companies take a popular book and make it into a movie that totally sucks (*cough Percy Jackson cough cough Hunger Games cough* *cough The Host *cough) –– copy and paste this into your profile. Add your own coughing suggestions if you have any. I can’t think of any more.

If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is way too long and filled with unnecessary stuff, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer and more unnecessary! :D

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are smiling at is point, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just smiled from looking a the previous copy and paste, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Full-Metal Alchemist/and or Naruto/ and or Soul Eater, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are absolutely DRIVEN UP THE WALL by ads and click the block ads button every single time you come on fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you didn't know that there was a block ads button until you read this, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you just scrolled down to the bottom of the page and pressed the button that reads “Ads” and then clicked the block ads button, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are smiling because there are now no more ads and will be none for twenty four hours, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're brain’s like an iPod on Shuffle Repeat, constantly playing the same song over and over and over and then suddenly switching to one that’s completely different at no particular time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room and then wondered why you were there, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, add this to your profile. (*AHEM*)

If you love chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that chocolate should have its own food group, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that chocolate should not only have its own food group but also be classified as diet food, copy and paste this into your profile.
I hate cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren’t two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren’t two footballs feetballs? And why is one sheep a sheep and two sheep still sheep and one fish a fish and two fish still fish? People call me crazy (which I very might be) but I’m just random! If you’re random (or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! RANDOMTIVITY USERS UNITE!

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone for no explainable reason, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever (accidentally or purposely) stabbed yourself and/or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word with less than four letters, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’re a girl who’s tired of people assuming that just because you’re a girl you love pink and can’t fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’re wearing pants right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’re wearing underwear right now, copy and paste this into your profile. (There better be a lot of people copying & pasting this.)

If you have no life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are still reading, know that you have no life and that you should copy and paste this.

If you still have to think “righty tighty, lefty loosey” when opening, well, anything, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled on a door that said push, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor rabbit some Trix just to make him shut up, copy this into your profile.
If you get way too excited for books, video games, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If one part of you is calm and the other part likes to stand on its head and sing theme songs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're an honor roll student that still occasionally needs the alphabet to remember the letters' orders, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you sometimes DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're coated in condensation, copy this into your profile.

If you wish that fictional characters were real copy and paste this into your profile.

If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read every single one of these up to here, award yourself 5 points and a cookie and copy this somewhere into your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Goldilocks should be arrested for breaking and entering and the bears should have reported her, copy this into your profile.

Pluto was declared a planet no longer on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, copy and paste this into your profile. (Well, I'm small AND off orbit, in comparison to everyone else that is. That doesn't mean I'm not a person! That's my reason for agreeing _)

If you actually know what a semicolon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are actually wasting your time being a stalker and reading my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks.

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste.

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, add this to your profile.

Genius by birth, slacker by nature

I did not hit you... I simply high-fived your face.

Some people blame our generation, but have they ever stopped to think who raised us?

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.

Do it today. It might be illegal tomorrow.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Procrastinators unite! ...tomorrow

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about having cookies?

Do not interrupt me when I am talking to myself!

Thank you captain obvious

Everything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or "bad"

In case of emergency, run like hell

Don't even try to outwierd me

The police never think it's as funny as you do

Anyone ever notice that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together?

I am fluent in sarcasm

F.I.N.A.L.S: (F#ck I Never Actually Learned This Sh*t!)

Dear math, I dont want to solve your problems, I have my own.

I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Tell the truth and run.

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.

Reality has no background music... so I make my own

They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't following me!

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot..

What's the matter with gravity?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I'm not insane... I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Have you ever wondered which hurts most: Saying something and wishing you hadn’t; or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

I'm not as dumb as you look.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I don't get even, I get odder.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
- James Thurber

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's Tough, get a helmet

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths

The cops never find it as funny as you do

'I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.'

'May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.'

'Cute but evil. Things even out.'

'You're ugly, and that's sad.'

'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the heck am I doing,
Talking to you?'

'I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.'

'I know how you feel. I just don't care.'

'School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.'

'Hating you makes me feel warm inside.'

'It's okay if you want to drop dead.'

'I would love to have a battle of the wits with you but you appear unarmed.'

"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking."

"God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."

"I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead."

"The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day."

"Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!"

"Smile; tomorrow will be worse."

"Everytime I hear that dirty word 'exercise' I wash out my mouth with chocolate."

"Best friends,

You fight. I fight.

You hurt. I hurt.

You cry. I cry.

You jump off a bridge; I'll get a paddle boat

save your retarded ass."

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and then just sit back and smile as the whole world sits there and wonders how you did it."

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

'Seven times down, eight times up.' -Japanese Proverb.

'I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they fly past.' -Douglas Adams

'The world's not perfect, but it's there for us trying the best it can. That's what makes it so damn beautiful.' -Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist).

"Britain is not an island... Yes, yes it is, but..." -Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4

'I did not trip and fall! I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.'

'Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.' -Miles Kington

“Sometimes carrying the burden of an upsetting truth, and hiding it, is actually a gift you give to someone else. You bear that burden, so they don’t have to, in a situation where telling them will change nothing.” ― Cassandra Clare

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” ― Oscar Wilde

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

“In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.” –Ellen DeGeneres

'The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.'

'America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.'

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ― Apple Inc.

“Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die.” ― Herbert Hoover

“There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for.” ― Albert Camus

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well".
From: "More Maxims of Mark”. ― Mark Twain

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” ― Steve Martin

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ― George Carlin

“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”
― Bill Watterson

“Procrastinate now, don't put it off.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

"Forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it taught you." -Anonymous

"Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is."— Albert Camus

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.” ― Mark Twain

“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” ― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.” ― C.S. Lewis

“I quote others only to better express myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

“I want to write a poem about "Truth," "Honor," "Dignity," and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it.” —Jarod Kintz, I Want

“Real life's nasty. It's cruel. It doesn't care about heroes and happy endings and the way things should be. In real life, bad things happen. People die. Fights are lost. Evil often wins.” —Darren Shan

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

Some people are born great, some people achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

You keep important things in your fridge. For instance, an ice pack if you've been wounded. A bottle of water if you are dying of thirst. And a basket of strawberries if a maniac came up to you and said 'Give me a basket of strawberries right now or I'll poke you with this large stick.' -Lemony Snicket

When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Lemonade!

When life gives you mayonnaise... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR LEMONS!!"

When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka.

When life gives you vodka, call all of your friends for a party.

When life gives you lemons, it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you apples, it's trying to scare your doctor away.

When life gives you lemons, call him a pervert and ask if he reads fanfiction.

When life gives you oranges, ask what is with his obsession with citruses.

When life gives you lemons, it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you oranges, it wants you to make orange juice. When life gives you apples, it want you to make apple juice. And when life gives you grapes, it wants you to get drunk.

When life throws you lemons and it hits you in the eye, tell everyone you know "life is a bitch".

When life chucks lemons at you and hits you where it really hurts, squish the lemons and tell everyone, "life hurts you where it hurts you most".

When life gives you lemons, cut them up and squeeze it in your water and plant the leftovers seeds. It will grow into a tree eventually!

When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in someone's eyes.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

When life gives me lemons, I squirt lemon juice in life’s eyes.

When life gives you lemons you make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how in the seven hells you did it.

When life gives you lemons, thank them and make some lemonade.

When life gives you lemons, giggle like the fangirl you are and wink suggestively at life.

When life gives you lemons, you mail them back in a package along with a "mysterious ticking noise".

When life gives you lemons, you burn life's house down.

When life gives you lemons, find the guy who got the ice and tequila and throw a party.

When life gives you lemons, don't eat them by themselves... You should never eat a lemon by itself...

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang coffee.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Why do all superheroes wear spandex? Does it provide more lift or something?

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: You suck.

A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"

A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun.

I used to have superpowers, but then my therapist took them away.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Some people are like slinkies. They are pretty much useless, but always bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

I am always late for work, but I make up for it by leaving early.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Be OPTIMISTIC... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!

Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!!

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Normal people worry me

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

ADOST: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades.

Relax. Nothing is ok...

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?"

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive.

Whoever said "words don't hurt" have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends poke you with straws.

Earth is full. Go home.

Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Smile. It scares people.

An overly positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff or bridge...

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

People say I've lost my sanity, but I can't lose what I never had.

Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars.

The voices in my head don’t like you.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

I used to have a life, but that was before video games!

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

So if I have to expect the unexpected does that mean I'm expecting the expected which is expecting? (I'm really confused now.)

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. (Will my left leg do?)

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Never doubt the power of an extremely pissed off woman. (‘Specially if it’s Teacher.)

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane . . . because well behaved kids never made history.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A DUCK!

I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.

WARNING: Jumping into toxic waste does not give you superpowers.

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but then it gets boring, so I go back to being me.

When nothing goes right... go left.

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up.

OOOH.. DRAMA! Let's get popcorn!

Do NOT interrupt me when I am talking to myself.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems...

Do it today! It might be illegal tomorrow!

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself. The second is when the voices in your head answer back.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Not all people are annoying. . . . Some are dead.

Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Make like a guillotine and head off.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

All work and no play means you will die in seven days.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be with you in public.

I am NOT saying you’re stupid...I'm just implying it.

Don't try to out-weird me -- I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me?

When in doubt, make up words!

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it. (And I may or may not be responsible for setting you alight in the first place.)

What happens if you scare someone half to death twice?

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

I'm sorry, I forgot you were an idiot.

Out of my mind, be back in 5 minutes.

Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares?

Hand over the video game controller and no one gets hurt!

If attitude could kill, I'd be a weapon of mass destruction.

Do NOT, under any circumstances, talk to me when I'm talking to myself.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

WARNING: If you ask a stupid question you might get a smart ass reply.

I come with my own background music.

If you are grouchy, mean, irritable, or just plain stupid, there will be a $500 dollar fee an hour to put up with you. (I've had to put up with a lot of people lately so my price multiplied by ten.)

THINK: It's not illegal...yet.

My life is one of those "YOU HAD TO BE THERE!" jokes.

Friends will say, "You deserve better." True friends will call him and say, "You'll die in seven days."

So many humans and yet so few with BRAINS.

Stupidity is NOT handicapped! Park elsewhere!

If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have their head examined.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

I would imagine that if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Did you say "Afraid of" me or "A Freak" to me? Because seriously, there both compliments.

When you're a kid, "I'm going to tell your mom," is the scariest sentence ever.

Sarcasm: Because beating the crap out of people is illegal.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, but it turns out, I was mistaken.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

No one will win the battle of the sexes. There is too much flirting with the enemy.

I'm one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 times:
once when it's told to me,
once when it's explained to me, and
once 5 minutes later when I finally understand it.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water. Unless it’s a chemical fire; then they use foam.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Now would be one of those times.

There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.

Never play leap-frog with a unicorn. You learn that the really hard way.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Sometimes my mind wonders; other times it leaves completely.

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

People are always telling you that change is a good thing, but what they're really saying is that something that you didn't want to happen just happened.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.

Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

My attention span would be a hell of a lot longer if things weren't so damn shiny!

Yolo backwards is Only Losers Obey Yolo.

There a 50-50-90 for everything. Every time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right. You have a 90% chance of getting it wrong.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?" (Makes me think of Edward Elric, ya know?)

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are an Axis Powers Hetalia fan, copy this onto your profile!

If you think you can be pretty without being self-centered, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you think Anime guys are sexier than real-life guys, copy/paste this onto your profile!!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you think that pocky is made out of awesomeness, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your pro.

If you've ever forgotten what you were going to say copy this onto your profile

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE- if you have ever listened to music in another language, and sung along having no IDEA what they are SAYING and PROUD OF IT

If you haven't died yet copy this onto your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you get inspired to write at random moments through the day put this on your profile.

99.8 of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up three better animes than this, paste this on your profile. Sorry Naruto fans.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.(I also answer myself XD)

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you name it...

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you believe that all life is equal, no matter what sort of creature it is, copy this into your profile.

Weird & Crazy is good. Strange & Wacked is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird & Crazy is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird & Crazy is good! If you are weird or Crazy and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a point in time where you disappeared from the fan fiction world completely for more than a week, put this in your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have no problem with OCs and have no idea why other people don't like them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are crazy, odd,not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character. Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek)

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

95 of the kids out there are concerned with being popular or fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactively Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, RitzCrackerKitty, WindOfDancingFlames, Jinzouningen Kitchi, animatedrose, KCSonic113, Mitsuki Horenake, Scootaboo11, sctwilightvampwolfgal

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you aren't, copy this into your profile.

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you've gotten so completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: Snowfirexoxo, FlameRisingSucks101, Swanfeather, xRae_Starkhenx, Sasukez, momoxtoshiro, Princess Falling Star, Grace Raven, Mitsuki Horenake, Scootaboo11, sctwilightvampwolfgal

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If he can't "live without you", then WHY isn't he dead yet????

In 2013 I'm going to watch '2012' and LAUGH MY ASS OFF.

Name something you randomly scream while watching any random anime: "Bullcrap! BULLCRAP! He's not going to die! He has main character status!" (Him dying means the end of the series! Silly writers XD)

Wait, if Russia is terrifed of Belarus, does that mean that everyone is one with Russia except that country?

Dear Hidekaz Himaruya, if you don't make the Holy Roman Empire Germany, I will bomb your house with France cosplayers. Thank you: Mitsuki Horenake (PS- By the way, you made me cry during the American Revolution.) (This is funny even though I don't support that theory...)

If 4Kids is the devil, then whose their boss?

Remember kids: keep the world as peaceful and green as you can. Otherwise, we'll all have to blame Alfred again.

For those of you who are scared of spreading the Hetalia love, think of this: there is such thing as a Germany x North Italy pairing for the American audiences. It's called KLAINE.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler then being cool, copy this into your profile.

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Normal people think being invisible is impossible. Hetalia fans KNOW being invisible is possible because our dear Canada proved it!

Normal people say "YOLO and swag." Hetalia fans say "Make pasta, not war!"

Normal people love Florida! Hetalia fans are smart enough to NOT go to Florida!

Normal people say they are cool. Hetalian fans say they are zhe awesome Prussia!

Normal people don't know that Sealand is real. Hetalia fans are already staying at Sealand's place for the summer!

Normal people don't become one with Mother Russia. Hetalia fans ARE Mother Russia!

Normal people are heroes. Hetalia fans are AMERICA!

Normal people listen to JB and 1D (Sure, let's go with that). Hetalia fans rock out with a full-on character theme playlist!

Normal people are rude and mean. Hetalia fans are a family!

Normal people don't believe in magic. Hetalia fans live with unicorns and flying mint bunnies!

Normal people won't repost this. Hetalia fans WILL!

Dear girl talking about how "that stupid deaf retard will never get a girlfriend",

He may not be able to hear you, but I can.

Sincerely, his girlfriend- who's about to punch your face in.

Dear cat,

Please tell me how when we were both locked out you were still able to get back in the house.

Sincerely, we don't even have a cat door

Dear people giving me judging stares,

Yes I am 14 with 1 year old twins, I support myself by whoring around on street corners and make all of my purchases at dollar stores and walmart

Sincerely, just kidding I'm babysitting

Dear purple crayon,

Why must you look EXACTLY like the blue crayon?

Sincerely, my ocean is now purple

Dear girl in my biology class,

Yes, I'm pale. Yes, I have above average grades. Yes, I occasionally miss school. Yes, I rarely speak. No, I am not a damn vampire!

Sincerely, I hate this generation.
Dear parents,

So Santa has the same wrapping paper as us, the same handwriting as you, and an elf named China that makes most of the toys?

Sincerely, seems legit...

Dear world ,

Why do you only blame girls?

Sincerely, it takes two to get pregnant

Dear parent giving me a dirty look because their six year old saw me making out with my boyfriend in the movie theater,

Well, maybe you shouldn't have brought them to an R-rated movie in the first place...

Sincerely, I cannot have possibly scarred him as much as Paranormal Activity 3.

Dear one-year-old brother,

You are staring right at me. I can see you taking that chocolate chip cookie. Yes, even though you are slowly backing away, I can still see you. No, putting it into your mouth and chewing as slowly as you can does not help. Ah ha! Finally noticed I caught you, didn't you? Wait, what are you...? Oh, this cookie is for me? Is this our agreement not to tell mom?

Sincerely, you fit right into the family!

Dear Moms Everywhere,

When you say we will leave in a minute, we think we are going to leave soon, and not in a half-hour.

Sincerely, Teenagers Everywhere

Dear son,

Girls are red, guys are blue if you make purple I will kill you.

Sincerely, your loving father.

Dear Homophobics,

Gay also was originally used to refer to feelings of being "carefree" or "happy".

Sincerely, Are you against happiness too?

Dear 4,153,237 people that got married in the past year,

Sorry, but shouldn't that be an even number?

Sincerely, who kept count?!

Dear Mother,

Please stop saying that bisexuals don't know what they want. It's a real orientation, and you saying otherwise hurts.

Sincerely, secretly bisexual

Dear guy who took down the sign about my lost puppy,

Really?

Sincerely, is a wet t-shirt contest really more important?

Dear English Teacher that just gave me a D on my exam,

Why did you have to assign me to the seat next to your pet salamander AND your giant coffee mug?

Sincerely, Attention Deficit ...IS THAT A LAVA LAMP I SEE?

Dear Boys who wish they could understand girls,

So do we.

Sincerely, Girls

Dear boyfriends,

Only we are supposed to hook up behind your girlfriend's back.

Sincerely, Bras

Dear Fairy Godmother,

So where were you when both my parents died, the only family I had left enslaved me, abused me and hid me away from the world for years? But hey - thanks for the pretty dress!

Sincerely, Cinderella

Dear Period,

Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait...

Sincerely, virgin

Dear chemistry teacher,

Why is the class amused? I believe it's quite self-explanatory...

Sincerely, "Rutherford concluded that his balls could be tiny or massive."

Dear United States of America,

The only argument against gay marriage is that it is religiously incorrect, however, our laws clearly demonstrate a seperation between Church and State, thus, it is unconstitutional to ban gay marriage.

Sincerely, logic

Dear Nutrition Facts,

Please stop lying about serving sizes.

Sincerely, this is definitely a one-person box of mac and cheese.

Dear sisters's boyfriend,

Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.

Sincerely, her forensic scientist older brother

Dear parents who forgot my birthday,

Please explain to me how you remembered my brothers, and not mine.

Sincerely, born on the same day.

Dear Movie Makers,

Please stop changing important thing when you make a book into a movie.

Sincerely, we like the book for a reason

Dear "drink plenty of fluids",

OK, I'll try not to drink too many solids or gasses.

Sincerely, what else would I drink?

Dear students,

So... all your printers break the night before you have to hand in your assignment?

Sincerely, amused teacher.

Dear Jocks,

Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.

Sincerely, you strip in front of 20 guys while I'm backstage with 30 girls.

Dear windshield-wiper making companies,

You seriously can't figure out how to get that one little triangle?

Sincerely, annoyed

Dear world,

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope. What are you going to do when I die?!

Sincerely, Kevin Bacon.

Dear Dad,

If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.

Sincerely, Why did you ask?

Dear Dryer,

Please don't steal my partner...

Sincerely, lonely single sock\

Dear online website that asked if I was human,

What do you think I am?

Sincerely, a tiger with thumbs

Dear teenagers buying condoms,

Trust me, I am not judging you. I am, however, judging the 22 year old mother who buys three bottles of vodka and two bottles of baby formula.

Sincerely, your cashier

Dear band teachers,

Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".

Sincerely, students cracking up

Dear God,

Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.

Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter

Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,

While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

Dear people I don't like,

Please stop having good names.

Sincerely, I wanted to name my kid that

Dear girl with only one hand,

Thank you so much for holding the door for me.

Sincerely, you are the nicest person at our school.

Dear dad,

Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?

Sincerely, I like when mom is on vacation.

Dear Judgemental Shop Assistant,

Yes I am buying a pregnancy test because I think I might be pregnant.

Sincerely, I'm 23 ... and married

Dear Embarrassed Boy buying tampons,

Relax...I know they're not for you.

Sincerely, I think it's cute

Dear health teacher,

Please don't take off points because my oral presentation didn't include any images.

Sincerely, my topic was pornography

Dear older brother singing loudly in the shower when he thought he was home alone,

I was going to complain, until I caught the lyrics,.

Sincerely, your Timone is wonderful but your Pumba needs work. Keep it up.

Dear little girl,

Thank you so much for grinning and saying, "You've got a robot's leg!" when you saw my boyfriend's prosthetic leg. It's the first time his laugh and smile have been genuine since he came back from Afghanistan.

Sincerely, his girlfriend who's eternally grateful.

Dear ignorant person that told me that clarinets are gay,

Elton John is gay, a clarinet is a clarinet.

Sincerely, I'm a band student, and you're an idiot.

Dear girls that are afraid of blood,

What do you do during your period?

Sincerely, curious...

Dear Selena Gomez,

Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend.

Sincerely, The Killers.

Dear iPod,

I named you, Titanic.

Sincerely, syncing you now...

Dear Facebook,

Congratulations on becoming a verb!

Sincerely, Google.

Dear guy who accidentally dialed my number,

Just because a young female answered the phone does NOT mean you have permission to text me back to ask if I'm single.

Sincerely, "you have the wrong number" is not a flirtatious statement whatsoever!

Dear cat,

Please explain to me why you are so happy and purring one second and the next your claws are in my skin and your hissing uncontrollably.

Sincerely, someone has mood swings.

Dear Disney Channel Original Movie "My Babysitter's a Vampire",

Original, huh?

Sincerely, Disney Channel Original Movie "Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire".

Dear Edward Cullen,

You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.

Sincerely, Peter Pan.

Dear Adele,

Writing whole albums about boys who break hearts is kinda my thing...

Sincerely, Taylor Swift.

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

No, it is not okay to make your characters fall in love with infants and toddlers and say "But it's alright, because he's a mythical creature and it's true love".

Sincerely, human pedophiles claim it's love, too...

Dear Ke$ha,

I sparkle too!

Sincerely, Edward Cullen.

Dear underage partiers,

Do you really think that when you post a picture of you at a party holding a beer can and blur out just the beer can that that suddenly makes a difference? Do you think we are all going "oh theres a little blurred out spot on the picture that just happens to be placed over everyones hand in every picture, well that couldn't possibly be a beer can. Nah, it was probably soda and they just didn't want people to know what kind."

Sincerely, laughing at your pathetic attempts. Dear mom,

I have been sick off-and-on for years now. The doctor may not know what's wrong, but I do...

Sincerely, throw away your cigarettes before one of us dies!

Dear parents who name their kids "Christian",

I'd like to introduce you to my son Muslim, my daughter Jew and my cousin Athiest.

Sincerely, it is the same thing...

Dear Facebook,

Please add a "nobody cares" button.

Sincerely, I don't care what you ate for breakfast.

Dear teacher who says "I don't know CAN you?" after a I ask if I can go to the bathroom,

When I was using can, I was using it's secondary modal form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought that since you were a teacher, you would know that.

Sincerely, schooled.

Dear parents,

Are you sure hangman is a child-friendly game?

Sincerely, dead man hanging from a pole.

Dear Americans,

Remember how you said a black guy would be president when pigs flew? You're welcome.

Sincerely, swine flu.

Dear "it's the thought that counts",

What exactly were your thoughts when buying me this gift?

Sincerely, no, you're right, I DID need a new ladle

Dear mom,

Yes, of course I'm pregnant. What did you expect?

Sincerely, you were at the wedding...

Dear teacher,

When you say "Write in complete sentences", the majority of the class assumes you are saying "write incomplete sentences".

Sincerely, minor formalities.

Dear kitten,

Yes, it is super cute how you can attack and shred a roll of toilet paper in 15 seconds. However, I am super sick and needed it.

Sincerely, now I have to blow my nose on your fluffy tail

Dear inspirational posters,

Yeah, there's no "I" in "TEAM", but there's a "ME"...

Sincerely, better rethink that one.

Dear boyfriend,

If you're going to act like a tool, you can sleep in the shed.

Sincerely, girlfriend.

Dear boy who just asked me to sit on his lap,

Boy you ain't no Santa Claus, I don't wanna be yo ho ho ho!

Sincerely, that might have been the cleverest thing I've ever though of on the spot!

Dear GAP clothing,

Do you really think someone is going to buy a shirt that says "69" all over it?

Sincerely, observant customer.

Dear group in California...,

So, you want to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death? That's like punishing someone for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.

Sincerely, how dumb are you?

Dear NASA,

Your Mom thought I was big enough.

Sincerely, Pluto

Dear fellow schoolmates,

I was so proud when all four hundred of us left the gym when the DJ played a Justin Beiber song.

Sincerely, Never been prouder

Dear Microsoft Word,

No, I did not spell my last name wrong!

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear "family planning" isle,

So you stock products to prevent getting a girl pregnant, tests that tell you the products didn't work, and drugs to stop a pregnancy...

Sincerely, shouldn't you be called the "not planning on starting a family" isle?

Dear person who just said that "we make a cute couple",

He's my brother.

Sincerely, you disgust me...

Dear teens,

Go to school, get married, THEN have kids.

Sincerely, don't do it backwards.

Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,

Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!

Sincerely, proud homosexual son.

Dear Glee,

Ruining good songs was OUR idea!

Sincerely, Kidz Bop

Dear doctor,

For the tenth time, yes I'm sure I'm not pregnant.

Sincerely, lesbian.

Dear mother,

It doesn't matter if you have the same parts as me.

Sincerely, your daughter that would like to get dressed without you walking in.

Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,

Are you dyslexic??

Sincerely, it's "Prom" not "Porn".

Dear girl in my civics class,

Did you seriously just ask the teacher why Alaska is so cold if it's next to Hawaii?!

Sincerely, Trying to conceal my laughter and wondering how you made it past the 2nd grade at the same time...

Dear world,

Today in class the girl next to me was trimming her split ends and the two people in front of me were having a breath holding competition.

Sincerely, I'm in med school... Meet your future doctors.

Dear dad,

Please stop criticizing my 30 minute showers when you leave the TV on all day for the dog.

Sincerely, your daughter.

Dear humans,

You are just my oversized Sims game

Sincerely, God

Dear Geometry,

Pi r not squared. Pi r round... Cornbread r squared.

Sincerely, sarcastic

Dear parent suspiciously looking over my shoulder as I browse a baby name website,

Please realise that it is not what it looks like.

Sincerely, aspiring author who needs names for her characters.

Dear boy's everywhere,

Since girl's bra's are called 'over the shoulder boulder holder'...does that mean your underwear is called an 'under the butt nut hut'?

Sincerely, Just curious

Dear Prince Charming,

Come on...I danced with you all night and the only thing you could remember about me were my glass slippers?

Sincerely, Cinderella

Dear adults who tell teenagers to stop 'whining' about our lives because we 'have no real responsibilities',

I go to school for 7 hours a day, then go to work for another 5 hours, then go home and do my homework for 4 more hours! I have to get good grades to get into a good college and then decide on a major, and find a way to pay for it all. Don' tell me that I have no responsibilities.

Sincerely, clearly you've either forgotten the stress or were just too big of a slacker to notice it all

Dear rewind button,

Thank you for making Jaws the quirky comedy about a bulimic shark that barfs up so many people the town has to open a beach.

Sincerely, life is nicer backwards.

Dear Bella,

He forbids you from seeing your best friend, he intimidates you into doing whatever he wants, and he won't give you anything in return.

Sincerely, honey, that's an unhealthy relationship.

Dear Mom,

Next time you're lecturing me and ask, "Do I look stupid to you!?" make sure you aren't wearing that sweater with the penguins all over it.

Sincerely, just being honest.

Dear people who "love music so much",

Listening to whatever is popular and then forgetting about it a month later, declaring it sucks because it's old, and repeating the cycle a month later shows how much you don't appreciate music.

Sincerely, real music fans.

Dear Pinocchio,

If you said ,"My nose will grow now," and it doesn't, that would mean you were lying. But if you were lying, that would make your nose grow. Thus, making your nose grow by telling the truth.

Sincerely, ultimate paradox.

Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,

Having Nike sponsor your show with the slogan "Just Do It" probably isn't sending the best message...

Sincerely, yet another reason to laugh at that show

Dear butt,

You managed to turn on my phone, decipher my screen lock code, put it on speaker, AND call Pizza Hut in the middle of class?

Sincerely, I'm impressed.

Dear character in movie about to be hit by a car 20 feet away,

Instead of just standing there with a gaping O face, how about running?

Sincerely, seriously, what are you waiting for?

Dear church women,

Please stop diguising gossip in your prayer circle...

Sincerely, "let us pray for tanya who is now pregnant at age 15 with no father in sight..."

Dear English teacher,

How can I get a question wrong that was asking for my opinion?

Sincerely, fed up

Dear person who invented salt,

What made you decide to combine two deadly poisons and put it on your food?

Sincerely, NaCl.

Dear mom and dad,

Please stop shouting at each other and take a look at your daughter. You can see the scars on her arms, right?

Sincerely, a worried older brother.

Dear world,

Fortune cookies aren't from China, Swedish Fish aren't made in Sweden, Danish rolls aren't from Denmark, French bread isn't from France, German chocolate cake isn't from Germany, and French fries are actually from Belgium.

Sincerely, what is wrong with this picture?

Dear Egnslih tecaehr,

Did you konw taht as lnog as the fsrit and lsat lteter are in the smae palce, hmauns are albe to raed the wrod?

Sincerely, slpelnig is not taht ipmrontat.

Dear elderly driver,

Red means "stop," green means "go" and yellow means "slow down." Notice that there is not a color or a light for "please run over the teenage girl because you can't see over the dash."

Sincerely, the girl that you almost ran over today.

Dear father who just asked if the showers in the dorms are co-ed,

Yes, they are, because this school's all about saving water and promoting rape.

Sincerely, your tour guide.

Dear Facebook,

I do in fact know those people on the side of my page, and there is an excellent reason I have not added them as friends.

Sincerely, I don't like them.

Dear mom,

Stop telling me to, "turn off my phone and be social!"

Sincerely, I'm talking, just not to you.

Dear Pythagorean Theorem,

Because I can't wait for that moment in time when I will have a ruler to measure two sides of a triangle but not the third.

Sincerely, oh, wait...

Dear ice at the bottom of the cup,

Please stop surprise attacking my face every time I try to take the last sip of my drink.

Sincerely, you get me every time.

Dear people who ask questions during movies,

The awesome thing about movies is that they tend to make sense and answer the questions you ask if you watch for 5 more seconds.

Sincerely, seriously, I just want to watch the movie in peace.

Dear iTunes,

$1.29? Really? What is the extra $0.30 for, shipping and handling?

Sincerely, you jerks.

Dear dad,

There IS a difference between butt dialing and a booty call.

Sincerely, just so you know.

Dear parents,

You scream at me when I don't answer the phone... I've called you eleven times now.

Sincerely, your annoyed child.

Dear mom,

If I knew where I last saw it, I wouldn't have asked you where it was.

Sincerely, annoyed teen.

Dear PETA,

People Eat Tasty Animals and they always will.

Sincerely, stop making me feel guilty about it.

Dear mom,

So... You're a doctor, and you can't even tell when I'm faking a sickness?

Sincerely, should I be worried about our healthcare system?

Dear Spoon,

Tell me that nursery rhyme all you want, I know the Dish isn't my real dad.

Sincerely, Spork

Dear Shakespeare,

Poetic talent is easy to fake when thy sentence doth no freaking sense make.

Sincerely, unconvinced English student.

Dear douche bag,

You're mean to gay boys, but think it's awesome when two girls make out?

Sincerely, confused.

Dear Kardashian family,

Remind me again why you're famous?

Sincerely, confused TV watcher.

Dear parents,

Please realize that those clothes on my floor are part of my new invention... the horizontal closet.

Sincerely, your teenager.

Dear Richard,

Please explain why your name is shortened to Dick.

Sincerely, confused.

Dear Skittles manufacturer,

What rainbow are you tasting that doesn't include blue?

Sincerely, confused consumer.

Dear unborn son,

Please note that your name will be Luke purely so I can say "Luke, I am your Father" when you question my authority.

Sincerely, soon to be father.

Dear parents who tell your kids, "That’s why you go to college" when they see the pizza guy,

I have this job so I can pay for my textbooks FOR college.

Sincerely, the educated pizza guy.

Dear one-eyed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-eater,

Are you purple and eat people, or eat only purple people?

Sincerely, confused child.

Dear people judging me on the bus,

Please stop. This 8 month old baby is my nephew.

Sincerely, 16 and still a virgin

Dear Wicked Witch of the West,

So... how exactly did you shower?

Sincerely, Curious

Dear parents,

Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinocchio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.

Sincerely, it's not our fault; it's how you raised us

Dear mom,

I've known 'what happens when two people love each other' since third grade.

Sincerely, just let me watch my PG-13 movie

Dear people who name their kids after places they were conceived,

That is by far the worst idea I have ever heard...

Sincerely, Back O. Car

Dear math teacher,

If there are 11 students in the algebra class and 9 of them are failing, how long will it take for you to realize that you suck as a teacher?

Sincerely, how's that for a math question?

Dear students,

You can't read my handwriting on your papers because I needed an entire bottle of vodka before your paper made any sense.

Sincerely, your professor

Dear How,

You really need a W.

Sincerely, Who, What, When, Where, and Why

Dear Humans,

We have called off the apocalypse after realizing that there are no brains left.

Sincerely, Zombies

Dear dad,

How can you be mad at my report card when it spells your name twice D A D D A D??!!

Sincerely, your failing son

Dear Sesame Street,

Please go back to the way you were, when Oscar lived in a trash can not a recycling bin, Vegetable monster was Cookie monster, and Bert and Ernie were still on the show because everyone thought they were brothers.

Sincerely, Sick of political correctness

Dear Justin Bieber,

An autobiography? Seriously? You just barely reached puberty. Let me guess, it consists of: 'I was born. The end.'

Sincerely, Fed up

Dear slut that goes to an all-girls school,

Please put your boobs away. We know what they look like, we have them too.

Sincerely, your disgusted classmates

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers,

If you do find one, what's your plan?

Sincerely, not very well thought out

Dear George,

If you're so curious, why is it you haven't figured out my real name yet?

Sincerely, The Man in the Yellow hat

Dear Everyone,

CARROT TOPS ARE GREEN!

Sincerely, Gingers

Dear lady in front of me with the six screaming kids under the age of 9,

You see that box of condoms that mysteriously appeared in your cart? You're welcome.

Sincerely, A Good Samaritan

Dear hormone-crazed teenage boys,

I hope you still appreciate slutty Halloween costumes when they start showing up on your thirteen-year-old daughters.

Sincerely, Karma

Dear Google Image Search,

That WAS NOT what I was looking for.

Sincerely, Scarred for Life

Dear Math Teacher,

Your ceiling has 86 1/2 tiles, 9 mysterious black stains on said tiles, 4 sprinklers, and 4 lights. Oh, and I forgot to mention... 2/3 of your students aren't paying attention. They're trying to figure out what I'm staring at.

Sincerely, Your Bored Student

Dear Women,

You tell us WE need to text first, WE need to pay for food, WE need to ask you out. But we ask you for ONE sammich and what do we get? A slap to the face.

Sincerely, Men

Dear DJ who played 'Love the Way You Lie',

It's probably inappropriate to play a song about domestic abuse at a wedding. Just my two cents.

Sincerely, a concerned cousin of the groom

Dear Vegetarians,

How many plants had to die to make your salad?

Sincerely, An Honest Carnivore

Dear Angry Parents,

Please stop getting mad at us when we answer your question. Its not backtalk, its called answering your question.

Sincerely, Pissed Off Grounded Teen

Dear Philosophers,

If actions are stronger than words, then why is the pen mightier than the sword?

Sincerely, Deep thinker

Dear Carmen,

This isn't funny. I can't find the baby...

Sincerely, Waldo

Dear people who say "it's cold as hell",

What part of "fire and brimstone" don't you understand?

Sincerely, Satan.

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Having an extra chromosome gives you Down Syndrome, not Vampirism.

Sincerely, The Medical Community

Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,

Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.

Sincerely, that's kinda what I was hoping for when I dumped you!

Dear mom,

Taking the TV remote doesn't stop me from watching TV. I can manually turn it on and change the channel as I please.

Sincerely, just because I'm from the age of technology doesn't mean my IQ is 40.

Dear countries who like boys better than girls,

Where do you think boys come from?

Sincerely, girls who want some credit.

Dear Mr. Left,

She doesn't want you because you are never around.

Sincerely, Mr. Right

Dear guy who shouts "not appropriate!" every time you see me hug my boyfriend,

Look who's talking!

Sincerely, saw you eating your girlfriend's face five minutes ago.

Dear friends with benefits,

Not dating but lots of sex huh? How original.

Sincerely, no strings attached.

Dear Selena and Justin,

She was a punk, he did ballet, what more can i say?

Sincerely, Avril Lavigne.

Dear Edward,

Did you ever think that maybe the reason you can't read Bella's thoughts is because SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY?

Sincerely, makes sense to me...

Dear morons in charge of our school system,

Please explain why you say high school students need the most sleep, but insist on tasking us with hours of homework and making us wake up before our parents.

Sincerely, something is wrong with this picture

Dear world,

Red hair: redhead, brown hair: brunette, white/yellow hair: blonde, no hair: bald. What do you call someone with black hair?

Sincerely, a "black-head?"

Dear MTV,

I was wondering if I could get my "M" back... you know, since you're not using it?

Sincerely, _usic.

Dear boys in my Geography class,

No, London isn't a country.

Sincerely, this would be funny if you weren't in high school, and completely serious.

Dear vampires,

Humans are annoyed with you too? You drink blood? You follow people around when they don't want you too? Join the club!

Sincerely, mosquitos.

Dear fans,

If Kayne managed to steal the mic, is Taylor really swift?

Sincerely, curious.

Dear guys,

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Sincerely, you don't see me being a boob.

Dear schools,

Don't ban Wikipedia. You say it's horribly wrong, but still give us A's on our papers...

Sincerely, where do you think that information came from?

Dear pregnant friend,

What's the difference between you and a lightbulb?

Sincerely, a lightbulb can get unscrewed.

Dear SpaghettiO's Alphabet Version,

Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of SpaghettiO's?

Sincerely, just wondering...

Dear people staring,

Yes I am 22, and have four little girls with me at the zoo.

Sincerely, get a grip I am babysitting and the oldest is 10!

Dear people who think my 5 year old brother is my son,

I'm fourteen. I hadn't even hit puberty when he was born.

Sincerely, how old did you think I was?

Dear people staring,

I am 15. The kid I am with is 8. Of course she's not my daughter. She's my sister. I was not pregnant at 7.

Sincerely, you're all idiots.

Dear girlfriend of two years,

You're confused as to how you are pregnant?! Me to...

Sincerely, virgin boyfriend.

Dear Black Music Awards,

Please tell me why it's ok that you have your own award ceremony, but if we had our own it would be racist.

Sincerely, average white person who thinks the concept of equality is skewed.

Dear teenage girls,

You wear a neon green pin saying FREE HUGS! then look at my 6-year-old sister like she's crazy when she asks for a hug?

Sincerely, she just learned how to read...

Dear person who previously had my biology book,

It was really hard not to laugh when I opened the front cover on the first day of school.

Sincerely, Name: Michael Jackson. Issued: Black. Returned: White

Dear metabolism,

My lunch - salad with no dressing and an apple. Result? Fat. Boyfriend's lunch - three double cheeseburgers and a milkshake. Result? skinny..

Sincerely, seriously?

Dear long distance boyfriend,

You said you started loving me because of my honesty, so I'll be honest. We've never had sex, so it is defintly NOT my bra I can see on the floor.

Sincerely, yeah, whoops is right.

Dear ladies,

If your man only wants your breasts, legs and thighs send him to KFC.

Sincerely, don't waste your time with him.

Dear manly 6 foot 7 older brother,

... you do know I can hear you singing from outside the bathroom door, right?

Sincerely, you're a Barbie girl? in a Barbie world?

Dear Justin Bieber,

Please don't teach our kids that they can be in love when they're only 13.

Sincerely, just told my daughter the normal time to have sex was when she was in love!

Dear Pinochio,

So all I have to do is lie?

Sincerely, Lord Voldemort!

Dear deadbeat mom,

Stop using "I never had a mother" as an excuse.

Sincerely, nor do I.

Dear Miley Cyrus,

Well this is awkward you actually weren't invited to the party...

Sincerely, the USA.

Dear Candace,

Why dont you just take a picture of Phineas and Ferb?

Sincerely, common Sense...

Dear boyfriend,

I liked you when you didn't ask me for anything that night I slept over. I fell in love with you when you kissed my cheek when you thought i was asleep.

Sincerely, girlfriend who was nervous about sleeping at your house.

Dear dictionaries,

Please stop putting such big words in your definitions.

Sincerely, we already looked up one big word, we don't need to look up another!

Dear Lucky Charms,

Please change the marshmallow to wheat ratio from 1/10 to 10/1.

Sincerely, everyone.

Dear New Orleans,

Seriously, I'm not allowed to tie my alligator to a fire hydrant?

Sincerely, where am I supposed to tie her now?

Dear child,

Don't use logic against me!

Sincerely, I'm trying to be the parent here!

Dear owner of the shoe in the lost and found,

Please. How do you manage to leave school with 1 shoe?

Sincerely, confused.
Dear world,

Please never say "grapes" in pig-Latin.

Sincerely, "rapegays."

Dear teens,

Next time your parents ground you for lying, look them straight in the eye and say, "Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny."

Sincerely, parents lie too

Dear Facebook,

Please never make a legitimate "who's viewing your profile app."

Sincerely, my ex boyfriend would get a restraining order.

Dear Edward and Jacob,

I have to tell you two setting important... I recently found this out... I'm... A lesbian

Sincerely, Bella

Dear parents who tell me not to talk to strangers,

So now you want me to sit on this random old man's lap, and tell him what I want.

Sincerely, rethinking this whole mall Santa thing, aren't you?

Dear Justin Bieber,

The country music awards? Really?

Sincerely, and how are you country?

Dear guy in my Social Studies class,

Please think before asking what Obama's last name is...

Sincerely, even the teacher laughed.

Dear parents who say looks don't matter,

If looks don't matter, then why do you get upset when I go out to dinner in sweats?

Sincerely, teenagers everywhere.

Dear guy I like,

I was so disappointed when I heard you say "I love you" to someone else on the phone...

Sincerely, ...then you ended the sentence with "Mom." :)

Dear relatives,

Please stop telling me, "you're next" at weddings.

Sincerely, or I will start saying the same thing to you while we are at funerals...

Dear girl who says she wants a guy like me,

I'M A GUY LIKE ME.

Sincerely, I've had a crush on you for three years...

Dear who ever said "just picture the audience in their underwear",

Not the easiest thing to do with your crush in the front row.

Sincerely, nervous and turned on.

Dear peoplewhotalklikethisallthetime,

Can you not find the spacebar?

Sincerely, it is the biggest button on the keyboard...

Dear girl wearing a white dress to prom,

I am taking you to prom and not to the alter, right?

Sincerely, your scared, prom date.

Dear math teacher,

Now I lay me down to rest, a pile of math books on my desk, if I should die before I wake, that's one less test I have to take!

Sincerely, bored student.

Dear kid tripping over his pants,

Did a famous rapper die and you have to wear your pants at half-mast?

Sincerely, just trying to understand...

Dear Canada,

You gave us Nickelback, we gave you Miley Cyrus. You gave us Justin Bieber, we gave you Rebecca Black... Your move.

Sincerely, America

Dear feminist who got mad at me for making my boyfriend a sandwich,

He's a professional chef and by the time he gets home, he's not in the mood to cook anymore.

Sincerely, calm down.

Dear Girlfriend,

Of course I will love another girl!

Sincerely, ...in ten years, and she'll call you "mommy."

Dear boys,

It's said that the most common way a woman kills a man is with food posioning.

Sincerely, you still want that sandwich?

Dear girlfriend I just killed the spider for,

I hope you realize now how much i love you.

Sincerely, your boyfriend who's also afraid of spiders.

Dear teacher,

If you know the whole class is going to see your computer screen, it would be smart to delete the email verifying your eHarmony account.

Sincerely, we all know that you have a wife.

Dear girls,

Just helping you reel in a vampire boyfriend.

Sincerely, your period.

Dear "Secret Life of an American Teenager" writers,

I WANT TO HAVE SEX, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX, SHOULD I HAVE SEX? SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX!!

Sincerely, maybe try mixing up the script sometime?

Dear tough guy that isn't afraid of anything

Boo!!

Sincerely, pregnancy test.

Dear non-virgins at my high school,

I can be like you in less than five minutes, but you can never be like me again.

Sincerely, still a virgin and ok with it

Dear "two wrongs don't make a right",

Two negatives equal a positive...

Sincerely, just saying.

Dear son,

I know what you were doing...

Sincerely, nobody just stares at Google.

Dear People who say "real vampires don't sparkle,

Really?

Sincerely, real vampires don't exist.

Dear girl in my class,

"What's an IQ?"

Sincerely, clearly something you're missing...

Dear women who complain about sexism,

Isn't it a little sexist to say that boys can't hit girls but girls can hit boys?

Sincerely, a reasonable woman.

Dear "popular" people,

You buy contacts, and then buy fake glasses. Then you wear the fake glasses without lenses while wearing your contacts.

Sincerely, on what planet does that make sense?!

Dear old ladies,

Please stop looking so disgusted. I'm just holding him while my mom finishes the grocery shopping.

Sincerely, THIS IS MY BABY BROTHER

Dear Y,

Please make up your mind.

Sincerely, A, E, I, O, and U.

Dear A E I O and U,

I never liked you guys anyway...

Sincerely, Y.

Dear car full of guys driving around campus with the windows rolled down,

Thank you for singing "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry at the top of your lungs. It made walking in the rain a little more bearable.

Sincerely, amused.

Dear jerk who asked my clearly anorexic 16 year old little sister when the baby's due,

This morning, for the first time in nearly two years, she willingly ate half a grilled cheese. Thanks to your cruel, ignorant comment, she is again refusing to eat and won't come out of her room. You had better hope I never, ever see you again.

Sincerely, little brother just trying to help her.

Dear Facebook,

Please never, NEVER, create a way for users to see who visits their profiles...or how many times.

Sincerely, not a stalker, just curious about my crush.

Dear 4 year old who just asked his friend if I was his mommy,

Contrary to what MTV might have you believe, even as a 17 year old, I still don't have kids.

Sincerely, am I flattered or disturbed?

Dear Mom,

Just because you saw me naked as a baby, and we have the same parts, does NOT make it okay for you to just walk in to talk to me while I'm in the shower.

Sincerely, your freaked out 17-year-old daughter.

Dear parents,

I'm so sorry, but I need to get this off my chest. I was home alone with my boyfriend, and, well...I disobeyed you. I know you've told me time and time again to never do it, and you always tell me how wrong it is, but we couldn't resist. We had everything we needed. And, it wasn't my first time, either. ...the taste in your mouth is something you'll never forget. I can assure you though, it won't affect my health. I feel terrible for going against your rules, but I can't promise that it won't happen again.

Sincerely, ate a whole bowl of raw cookie dough with him.

Dear classmates,

Yes, I will get mad when you call me a spoiled brat for having a new iPad.

Sincerely, works 40 hours a week and decided to treat myself.

Dear lesbian couple on the airplane,

I noticed that you stopped talking to me when I mentioned I was a Bible major. My aunts are lesbians. I didn't judge you; please don't judge me.

Sincerely, sad Christian girl.

Dear teacher who asked the class whore to stop wearing her work clothes to school,

Thanks.

Sincerely, you made my day.

Dear world,

It's sad when I can't take my 4-year-old brother out places without me getting stares or being called his mom.

Sincerely, sixteen-year-old girl.

Dear son,

Yeah, we knew you were gay when you told us you were going to make another boy your "wife" when you were in preschool...

Sincerely, you didn't have to hide it for so long...

Dear people who think only white people are racist,

There's a black history month. If there was a white history month, that would be considered racist. There are Facebook pages titled, "I love being black!" if there was an "I love being white!" one, that would be racist. There are scholarships for college you can receive simply by being black. I don't see any scholarships for being white. It's not okay for a white person to call a black person the N word, but it's perfectly acceptable to call a white person a "cracker."

Sincerely, you're NOT entitled to everything because you're black.

Dear Karma,

I bought a Michael Jackson album, he died. I watched the Dark Knight, the Joker died. I bought an iPad, and Steve Jobs died...

Sincerely, I just bought a Justin Bieber album...

Dear Urban Dictionary,

Thank you SO much.

Sincerely, I was not about to ask my parents that...

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for saying "Yeah, like YOU'VE never done that" to Mum while she was screaming at me!

Sincerely, her face was priceless.

Dear person whispering stuff behind me in the store,

No, the newborn in the cart is not mine, she is my moms. Just because I am the one pushing the cart doesn't mean that i gave birth to her.

Sincerely, im only 14...

Dear Democrats and Republicans,

I really don't care what party your in. I just want you to get something done.

Sincerely, a U.S. citizen

Dear "I could never get tired of that song" ,

Challenge Accepted.

Sincerely, radio stations.

Dear 30 tabs and counting,

One of you is playing music...

Sincerely, BUT WHICH ONE?!

Dear elderly woman that says we look cute together,

Thank you. So much.

Sincerely, the gay couple holding hands

Dear Mom and Dad,

Please stop saying "Don't play with your food!" You spent the first two years of my life convincing me this spoon was a plane...

Sincerely, your fault.

Dear Facebook,

Why is there an option for an expected child as a family member?

Sincerely, do you really think my unborn baby has a Facebook?

Dear 16-Year-Old Sister,

Why won't you tell me your boyfriends name?

Sincerely, I see the bruises on your arm and the way you flinch when I raise my hand...

Dear Dad,

If you wanted to "straighten me out," an all boys boarding school was not the way to do it.

Sincerely, your gay son.

Dear "Are you pregnant?",

Not that I'm aware of...

Sincerely, a 16 year old boy who just wants a sports physical.

Dear Americans,

"Gay" means happy or jolly, "queer" means odd or strange, "retarded" means slowed or hindered, "dumb" means unable to speak, and "lame" means incapable of walking.

Sincerely, go read a dictionary.

Dear Sound of Music,

So the kids' mother's been dead for seven years and the youngest child is five?

Sincerely, Sneaky, Captain von Trapp.

Dear Pringles,

Do you want me to eat your chips or not?

Sincerely, how am I supposed to eat them when my hand doesn't fit into the container.

Dear kids who bully the quiet girl in class,

It's ironic how I am the only one who can hear her cry for help.

Sincerely, deaf kid who can see the scars on her wrists.

Dear stereotypical "mean girl",

Thank you for sitting with me in the back of the class and asking me about myself, saying how cool of a person I am, and even commenting on my heavy metal music. I won't judge you since you didn't judge me.

Sincerely, the stereotypical "goth chick."

Dear Facebook addicts,

If Facebook shuts down, are you going to be roaming the streets shoving pictures in people's faces saying "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"

Sincerely, just asking.

Dear parents,

"Because I said so" does not qualify as a reason.

Sincerely, it just makes us more angry.

Dear people who hate gays because it says so in the Bible,

Please tell us all about how you were a virgin until after marriage, didn't lie, and never disrespected your parents.

Sincerely, I'm sure your not perfect either.

Dear old lady Wal-Mart cashier who told me she doesn't approve of teen moms,

Good thing that little girl's my niece then, huh?

Sincerely, but seriously... you work at Wal-Mart.

Dear homophobic dad,

You hate gays? Phew, thank goodness, I thought I was in trouble.

Sincerely, I'm bisexual!

Dear parents,

Wait, so you named me after bread? Seriously?

Sincerely, Peeta

Dear people who think friend-zoned is bad,

Try cousin-zoned.

Sincerely, Gale Hawthorne.

Dear "you're just wearing that braid because of the Hunger Games",

Yes, I love the book. Yes, I saw the movie.

Sincerely, No, Katniss did not invent the French braid

Dear "All the good guys are gay",

Are you kidding me? All the good guys are straight!

Sincerely, gay men everywhere.

Dear celebrities,

Do you ever Google your names and look at all the things people say about you?

Sincerely, curious.

Dear fat lady at McDonalds,

Yes, people were watching when you told your son he could only eat his carrots if he finished his chicken nuggets first. And you didn't have to yell at him for it.

Sincerely, thanks for contributing to the obesity problem in America.

Dear nosy neighborhood moms,

Yes, I'm 19, and the three year-old girl who lives with me? She's not my daughter. She's my little sister.

Sincerely, I adopted her when our parents died.

Dear 4 year old sister,

When I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, I expected you to say princess.

Sincerely, but you're right... who wouldn't want to be a duck?

Dear people,

Yes. My name is Bella. Yes. My husband's name is Edward. Yes. He is older than me. Yes. I am from Arizona. The difference is, I'm 64 and have been married to Edward for 43 years.

Sincerely, Stephanie Meyer stole my life!

Dear boys who won't buy tampons for their girlfriends,

It could be worse - they could be asking you to buy a pregnancy test.

Sincerely, amused girl.

Dear "friends",

Yes that call was from my mom. Yes I call her mommy. Yes I said "I love you" before hanging up. No I'm not a "retard."

Sincerely, teenage boy who doesn't care what you think.

Dear woman who told me "there's a place for girls like you",

This is my brother, not my son, I'm 17 he's 4, I'm taking him to the zoo so he can draw the monkeys.

Sincerely, yeah there is a place for me, it's called awesome town!

Dear Parents,

No my bed did not break from me having sex.

Sincerely, jumping and dancing on it.

Dear girl who my boyfriend was flirting with over text,

Thank you! I have so much respect for you!

Sincerely, just looked through his texts and saw you telling him to piss off and love what he has.

Dear Identical Twin Sister,

Maybe you should rethink saying "I'm so ugly" in front of me.

Sincerely, you just ruined my self esteem.

Dear teacher who just yelled at me for using my phone in class,

Actually, I was texting my little brother, wondering how his first chemo treatment is going.

Sincerely, may I continue?

Dear guy who called me gay for being in a musical,

Just wait till opening night.

Sincerely, Your girlfriends an awesome stage-kisser

Dear Mother,

Please locate the nearest dictionary. Now look up the definitions of mom, mother, and parent. Then proceed to look up the definition of dictator. Please note that they are not the same.

Sincerely, Your irritated second-born.

Dear girls who wear lots of glitter eyeshadow,

You leave me no choice but to rate you from Ke$ha to Edward.

Sincerely, seriously, tone it down.

Dear 50 people who have posted on my Facebook wall for my birthday,

I wonder how many of you actually KNEW my birthday?

Sincerely, considering changing my Facebook birthdate for fun.

Dear Disney,

Maleficent taught me that when the popular kids snub you, make your own party. Cruella taught me to express myself. Jafar taught me never to let go of my dreams, even if they're as big as being sultan. Dr. Facilier taught me that you're lost without your friends. And Yzma taught me never to lose my flair.

Sincerely, ...wait, I learned all the WRONG lessons, didn't I?

Dear judgmental woman,

I am twenty-seven and happily married with a wedding ring I can't wear because this pregnancy is making my fingers too swollen.

Sincerely, the "knocked-up teenager" you were warning your kid about.

Dear movie theater worker who just asked me if I'm old enough to see a PG-13 movie,

I'm short not FIVE!

Sincerely, 16 year old girl

Dear teammates,

Stop making fun of the marching band or I'll beat you with my French Horn.

Sincerely, Head QB

Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,

Please make your straws longer than the bottles

Sincerely, reaching for it with my tongue like a retarded chicken

Dear World,

You know something's wrong when calling someone a Virgin is considered an insult.

Sincerely, Virgin - And Proud of It!

Dear teacher who called me a spoiled brat in front of the entire class,

You eavesdropped on me venting to my best friend how pissed I was that my mother got me a Tiffany necklace for my birthday. Here's what you didn't hear: What I had asked for my birthday present was to spend more time with her. Instead my mother bought the necklace.

Sincerely, a spoiled nobody.

Dear family who won't let me attend the funeral,

I'm a lesbian, not a leper.

Sincerely, I loved her, too...

Dear doctor,

The longer you leave me unattended in your office, the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar.

Sincerely, where are you?!

Dear girlfriend,

Please be so kind as to explain to me how on earth you are pregnant.

Sincerely, your infertile boyfriend.

Dear mom and dad,

Please don't hang up rainbow flags everywhere. I get it, you'll love me no matter what.

Sincerely, wanting to go back in the closet.

Dear strippers,

If you are called exotic dancers then shouldn't drug dealers be called exotic pharmacists?

Sincerely, makes sense to me...

Dear teacher who asked me what I was day-dreaming about,

boobs, BOOBS, sammich, boobs, SEX, hooters, dieing puppies, failing a test, OMG BOOBS, sammich, is she winking at me?

Sincerely, should I have lied?

Dear mom and dad,

Why am I in trouble for jumping on my bed? I hear you jumping on yours every night...

Sincerely, innocent eight year old.

Dear people who say they just had a newborn baby,

The newborn part is implied. No one thinks you just popped a 12-year-old out of your snatch.

Sincerely, irritated by your redundancy.

Dear little sister,

I am so glad I took you to the library to help you learn sign language so you could befriend the deaf kid at school.

Sincerely, just watched you sign "I do" to him.

Dear guys in the locker room

I apologize for checking you out during gym class, but try to understand my situation. If you were in a room with twenty naked chicks, you would look too.

Sincerely, still in the closet

Dear doctor,

I'm not pregnant, I am not sexually active, nor have I ever been. I am not being bullied, I'm not anorexic and I don't make myself puke to get thinner. I have friends, my teachers aren't mean, my parents are not abusive and the absolute only thing stressing me out is all your stupid questions!

Sincerely, can't a girl just have a stomach ache?

Dear people,

Please help, I'm 20 years old and I can't get a better job than at a fast food place. I'm socially awkward, and my only co-worker hates me. I'd complain, but my boss only cares about money. I'd leave, but I can't pass my drivers test, or any test I've ever taken. I'm in love with one of my only friends; she's a smart, athletic, gorgeous southern belle, but, I'm stuck in the friend zone. My only other friend is this guy who i'm pretty sure only talks to me, because he's mentally handicapped. To top it all off, I live in a freaking pineapple.

Sincerely, Spongebob S Pants.

Dear Christians who protest everything,

Please go back and reread your Bibles. It's "love thy neighbor" not "condemn thy neighbor to hell just because you don't agree with them on something."

Sincerely, a loving Catholic girl.

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kind of wanted to be a VAMPIRE.

4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kind of like pirates vs. ninjas, but cooler

5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

11.) “Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown

12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead...

24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make him or her public

26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.

27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations are an extreme form of censorship.

35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the Internet

37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

40.) Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires

44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke

51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!

67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. Voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! Me: That wasn’t my fault!! It was poor construction... I SWEAR!! Don’t look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

71.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not usewhile sleeping.

(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Things to ponder...

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

BOLD WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU.

No, spellcheck, that's my name, not a misspelling...

Trying not to cough when you're in a room full of silent people

-SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "Bless you." -SNEEZE- "DUDE?!?!?!?!?!"

I forgot your name, so I'm waiting for somebody to say it...

-Calls name- "Yes, Mom..." -no answer- "YES!" -no answer- Screw that, I'm not getting up...

I hate when you have a perfect day, but then one thing ruins it all

Letting the phone ring so the person doesn't think you're ignoring them...

Just because my best friend isn't my gender doesn't mean we like each other!

Acting like you can't hear someone when you have headphones on

Thank you music, for being there when no one else was...

I hate it when people flirt with the person I like

Hersheys, Jolly Ranchers, and every other candy you can think of

I studied it like, 3 minutes ago, how did I forget the answer?

Switching tabs when someone's watching you on the computer

I actually text "uhhhhh..." or "hmmm..." when I'm thinking of something to say

I hate when you wake up when the best part of the dream is about to happen!

The one person you see EVERYWHERE...but don't know their name

Actually, your wrong. The bell DOES dismiss us. Sorry.

I hate hearing my voice after being recorded. It's so awkward!

Medicine heals the body. Music heals the soul.

Ooooooooh, That sounds a bit harsh, I better put "lol" on the end of it

Whenever I see someone check the time, I check too

"Must be 3-7 sentences" Yeah, I'm only writing 3...

Whenever I can't find something, it just magically appears when my mom looks

Doing something weird, then noticing someone watching you

"Can I cut you?" -- "No, but you can back cut me."

Every year, I realize how stupid I was the year before

Meeting new people who you instantly get along with

Walking with your friend and randomly pushing them into someone/something

The doctor said I had multiple personalities...but we don't believe her

I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "A Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?!

If you could read my mind, you would need therapy.

WOW! Did you see the size of them muffins on New Moon? they were HUGE! I want one!

"YES, WE'RE FINALLY LEAVING!"--"Oh no, Mom ran into a friend..."

"Haha, that was funny... -friend says something-...You killed it."

I bought a bag of chips, not half a bag of air!

Hi, I wasted a very long time liking you

They say HATE is a strong word, but they throw around LOVE like it's nothing

When you make NO sense at all, but your best friend completely understands

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feeling...

If the sour patch dude cut off my hair, I would throw him across the room

Why do we have to be quiet during a fire drill? Will the fire hear us?

"PUT THE PHONE AWAY!" Chill, it's a phone, not a gun...

The instant heart attack you get when you slip, but don't fall over

Me and my friend laugh, stop, stare at each other, then laugh again!!

I hate that feeling when I get so aggravated, I feel like crying

Of course I flinched! You almost punched me in the face!!

Oh great, now that song's stuck in my head and I only know one line...

Struggling so hard to open something, then spotting the "tear here" sign

Turning the music up so loud in your headphones, you're in another world

Wait, are you talking to me? I just blanked out.

I LUV THE WEEKEND, MUSIC, SUMMER & SLEEP

I hate waking up during a good dream and it won't come back!

I HATE MONDAYS!!

Back in 1st grade where putting your head down was a punishment

Teacher: "Put your earphones away." Me: "What? Sorry, I can't hear you!"

Yes, I am aware we look stupid, but at least we're having fun...unlike you.

When you drink water with mint gum in your mouth and it seems colder :)

Getting comfortable on the couch, then seeing the remote is one the other side

Putting on a fake smile, so you don't have to explain why your unhappy

I Hate when My Best Friend Isn't at School

Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?!

Forgetting what you were going to do a second ago

When someone says "Guess what?", I never guess, I just say "What?"

"The dude with the dreads and the Northface." -- "You just described half the school."

Mon ]; - Tues :(- Wed :/ Thurs :) Fri :D Sat (. )\m/ - Sun (-_-)

Saying "Nobody saw that." when you do something stupid

You think dance isn't a sport, I'd like to see you try it

"Oh my you've grown." Well, yes...that tends to happen...

DUDE! We got the exact same answers, how did you get a higher grade?

It's funny how fast you wake up when you realize you've overslept

Sub: "Does your normal teacher let you do this?" Students: "Yes..."

"Your parents are nice." "You should see them when you're not here..."

Reading something over and over again and not being able to process it

Reading texts half asleep...and it's like looking into the sun

Moving slowly at night hoping your parents don't hear you...

After every good movie trailer I lean over and say "I wanna see that."

"Just go ask!!" "Okay, can you come with me??"

I WANNA PLAY A MASSIVE HIDE&SEEK GAME IN MY SCHOOL AT MIDNIGHT :D

"Is there gonna be food?" "Yeah..." "Okay, then I'm coming."

That plan worked sooooooo much better in my head

"GET UP." "I AM UP." -goes back to sleep-

I hate when you zone out and accidentally stare at someone

Re-discovering music you used to love

The feeling you get when the bell rings on the last day of school

Not remembering whether it happened in a dream or real life

"Can I see your phone?" "...Hang on." -deletes messages-

Taking a test and thinking "A,D,C,B,C,C,C,C...That CAN'T be right."

1st day of school: I'm so excited! 1 week later: When are the holidays?

I hate when your super excited about something and everything goes wrong

If the schools on fire, I'm running, not walking. Just so you know

"-Text sending- NOO WRONG PERSON, CANCEL!! Too late :(

Thinking someone's ignoring you...then you realize you forgot to write back

All the snow made me realize how much I love summer

When a teacher calls on you thinking you weren't listening and you OWN them

When a teacher disses a student and the class goes "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The feeling you get when you wake up on the first day of summer

I use my phone as a flashlight and hit random buttons to keep it lit

"Hey, did you do the homework?" "WAIT, WE HAD HOMEWORK?!"

Your in a good mood, one little thing happens, and BAM...bad mood

HURRY UP AND PASS OUT THE TEST BEFORE I FORGET EVERYTHING!!!!!

When my teacher says "Study.", I say "NO HOMEWORK!!"

"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" No, that's why I'm whispering...

"Did you read?" "No. You?" "No." "Please clear your desks..." WE'RE SCREWED

I stare off into space and realize I'm staring at some random person...awkward...

5% battery left and you run like a ninja to get your charger!

Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like their gonna fall

There is at least one person I can never stay mad at no matter how hard I try

It FEELS like 20 minutes have gone by in class. It's ONLY been 2.

When you walk in late and everyone stares at you

I hate when I'm expecting a text, my phone vibrates, and it's someone else

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." "You're welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm"

When I'm the only one awake at night and I hear a noise...I completely freeze

I Wish I Could Record My Dreams And Watch Them Later

If there's a fire at school, who's actually gonna stay quiet and walk? (we ALL agree on this...)

I Love The Kid That Makes The Classroom Fun By Arguing With The Teacher

Mom/Dad we're in public...don't...don't do that...

I Wish Some Of My Dreams We're Real

Pulling gum out in school is like pulling out crack at a rehab center

It Takes Skill to Trip Over Flat Surfaces

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor...

"Go to your room." "Oh, you mean the place with my Laptop, iPod, Cell, and T.V? Okay."

Okay, so I kinda, sorta, MAYBE like you more than I originally planned

If that one little thing had/hadn't happened, things would be so different now

Hey, headphone, wanna NOT fall outta my ear?

"Sit down, class isn't over yet!" -bell rings- Haha, screw you

When I was little, you were the bomb if your shoes lit up

"Mom, I don't need a jacket." "Holy crap it's cold out."

Hate when I get in trouble and my parents tell the ENTIRE FAMILY!!

"We're watching a video today." YES!! "Here's your answer sheet." UGH.

I love when I find money I forgot about!!

"Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah, but I don't know if their right." "I don't care."

That 1 song in your iPod that plays real loud and scares the crap out of you

I always wonder what your thinking when you stare at me...

Teachers call it "the bathroom", we call it "I'm bored, I'm leaving"

I wish my friends houses were connected to mine via secret tunnel

WHERE IS MY...oh, never mind, it's in my hand

Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick...aww crap

Thinking Of Everything You've Done When Your Parents Say "Come Here Now!"

Paper beats rock? Okay, I'll throw a rock at you and you'll defend yourself with paper

"Hey can I have a sip?" "Sure." -GLUG GLUG GLUG- "Dude, what the heck?"

Being obnoxious with your friends and not caring what others think

I make plans THEN ask my parents

I don't care if there's a fridge full of food, THERE'S NOTHING TO EAT!!

"I hate you." "Awww, I love you too."

Anyone notice that "studying" is like "student" and "dying" put together?

I remember when everyone wanted to be the line leader in kindergarten

Randomly smiling when you think of a funny memory

The kid that always yells in the middle of class "OMG IT'S SNOWING!!"

"So what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "Dude, we've turned into Spongebob and Patrick."

I wish I could just click the "Back" button in real life...sometimes

"Close the door!" -leaves door cracked- "OMG, ALL THE WAY!!"

I don't know, google it

When your busy, everyone LOVES to text you...when your bored...nothing...

We Act Like It's A Secret Drug Deal when Someone's Just Giving Us Gum

"What would happen if there was no music?" "Dude, we'd all have gone psycho."

I Call Gatorades By Their Color, Not Their Name

I hate when teachers give us work over break, it's called break for a reason

I Love Google, It's Like The Brain I Never Got :)

Password Error -types again- Password Error -types again- Password Error "WHAT THE...oh, caps lock is on."

You give one person gum and everyone within 10 miles is your best friend

"I was blown away when I realized OK looked like a sideways person

I was even more blown away when I realized QK looked like a sideways ninja

Laying in bed at night thinking about EVERYTHING

Oh Google, you always seem to know what I mean to spell...

Why can I do it PERFECTLY until I go show someone?

Never Enough Cookie Dough In Cookie Dough Ice Cream!!

"What if Google didn't exist?" "Man we would all be screwed."

I really wanna talk to you, but I get paranoid and think I annoy you

I tell a funny story. No one laughs...IT WAS FUNNY WHEN IT HAPPENED OKAY?!

"Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Oh, never mind..." NOOO TELLL MEEEE!!!!!

FAKING SICK FROM SCHOOL: WE ALL DO IT OR DID IT ;)

Missing someone and wondering if they miss you too

DORA THE BANANA TREE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU; YOU CALL YOURSELF A EXPLORER?!

Listening to a certain song over and over again :D

Friday, last period, 2 minutes to go til the bell rings...BEST FEELING EVER!! :)

Walking in a room and forgetting why you entered

Saying "Oh!" like you get it...but you have no idea :)

As soon as the headphones are in, I'm in my own little world...

I love it when I find a song that matches my exact mood :)

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freakin' soda"

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Things You Do NOT Wanna Hear On An Airplane Intercom:

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

America is more than just an idiot, and he is more complex than the world gives him credit for.

Do not stereotype us or hate us just because you don't like someone who's different than you.

He's a superpower for a reason. (We made the Soviet Union back down in Cuba!)

America is the melting pot of nations. (Who else can say that?) (New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco...)

We're still the only country to have put people on the Moon. (After 40 years!) (Fuck Russia's rover!)

If America falls, everyone else does too. (Hello, we buy/sell 1/4 of the world's resources!)

We invented Star Trek, which in turn led to the invention of a lot of the stuff we use today.

We know more about World History than the world knows about US History.

Why do more than a million people move to the US each year if we're such a terrible place?

Alfred F. Jones is fucking awesome, period.

Please post this in your profile if you agree, and add your name. Lapis Lazuli Ichigo, Ashynarr, 91RedRoses, Ember Hinote, Scootaboo11, sctwilightvampwolfgal

Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

"Do as Italy...Make Pasta not war"

"Do as America...Make a movie not a drama"

"Do as England...Burn your food not everybody else wishes"

"Do as Spain...Raise children not enemies"

"Do as Germany...Fallow the rules, even if you don't understand them"

"Do as Austria...Play music even if you don't have a rhythm"

"Do as Japan...Grow not get stuck in your past"

"Do as France...When in doubt, push random buttons"

"Do as Canada...When you feel out of place, just be invisible"

"Do as Russia...Maintain your innocence, even if your past is not that childish"

"Do as Prussia...Live, even when there seems nothing to live for"

"Do as Switzerland...Stay neutral even if the world's braking apart"

"Do as Sealand...Speak, even if no one is listening"

A Hetalian's Pledge
I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.
I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.
I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.
I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.
I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.
I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.
I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.
I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.
I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.
I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.
I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing.
I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.
I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.
I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.
I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.
I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.
I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.
I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.
I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.
I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.
I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.
I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different.. or I'm celebrating the holidays.
I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy.
I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.
I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.
I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.
I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off.
I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.
I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).
I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.
I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.
I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.
I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.
I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or I redefine "AWESOME."
Everyone has a little bit of each nation in them, including me. Therefore, I pledge these things as a true Hetalian.
Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to show your Hetalian spirit!

The Hetalia pledge

I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta.

I promise to remember Germany whenever I see mashed potatoes.

I promise to remember Japan whenever I see cute and fluffy things.

I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac.

I promise to remember England whenever I eat bad cooking.

I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose.

I promise to remember China whenever I see Hello Kitty.

I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a panda suit.

I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother.

I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and or see HUGE ßOOßs.

I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA.

I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'.

I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomatoes.

I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing.

I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan.

I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play the piano.

I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME!

I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl.

I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a violent guy with a gun.

I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl who wants to be like her big brother.

I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the Opera.

I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat.

I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and/or triangle.

I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes.

I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream.

I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see a boat.

I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather.

I promise to remember Germania whenever I see Legolas from LOTR.

I promise to remember Holy Rome whenever I see a boy too nervous to confess that he loves someone.

This I pledge as a Hetalian. I have promised my brother and sister Hetalians to draw a complete circle. Marukaite Chikyuu, Hetalians! :) Hetalia forever!

The Hetalia pledge

I promise to remember Italy
whenever someone mentions pasta
I promise to remember Germany
whenever someome says West
I promise to remeber Japan
whenever I see an Asain tourist taking pictures of brightly coloured cake
I promise to remember America
whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac
I promise to remember England
whenever I watch Doctor Who
I promise to remember France
whenever I see a rose
I promise to remember China
whenever I see Pikachu
I promise to remember Russia
whenever I see a lead pipe
I promise to remember Lithuania
whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Estonia
whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Latvia
whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Belarus
whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother
I promise to remember Ukraine
whenever I hear and or see HUGE boobs
I promise to remember Sweden
whenever I pass by an IKEA
I promise to remember Finland
whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'
I promise to remember Spain
whenever I see a tomato field
I promise to remember Romano
whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing
I promise to remember Hungary
whenever I see a frying pan
I promise to remember Austria
whenever I hear someone play Chopin on the piano
I promise to remember Prussia
whenever I hear someone say AWESOME
I promise to remember Poland
whenever I pass a Valley Girl
I promise to remember Switzerland
whenever I see a guy with a gun
I promise to remember Liechtenstein
whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair
I promise to remember Turkey
whenever I think about Phantom of the Opera
I promise to remember Greece
whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat
I promise to remember Egypt
whenever I see a pyramid and or triangle
I promise to remember Canada
whenever I see pancakes
I promise to remember Cuba
whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream
I promise to remember Sealand
whenever I see a boat
I promise to remember Grandpa Rome
whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather
I promise to remember Germania
whenever I see Legolas from LOTR
I promise to remember Holy Rome
whenever I see a boy to nervous to confess that he loves someone

A Hetalian's Pledge

I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.

I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.

I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.

I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.

I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.

I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.

I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.

I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.

I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.

I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.

I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing.

I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.

I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.

I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.

I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.

I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.

I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.

I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.

I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.

I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.

I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.

I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different... or I'm celebrating the holidays.

I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy.

I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.

I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.

I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.

I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off.

I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.

I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).

I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.

I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.

I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.

I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.

I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or someone steals my word (AWESOME).

You know you're addicted to Hetalia when:

1. You start laughing hysterically at maps

2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together

3. You've learned more history (Austria-Hungary Compromise, WWII) from it than from an actual history class

4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96...with supporting screenshots

5. You watch APH MADs (Music videos/parodies)

6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs.

7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween.

8. World War II starts sounding romantic.

9. Your teacher asks why you put "Alfred F. Jones" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Arthur" beside it.

10. You yell "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America.

11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation.

12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one.

13. You shudder every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder...just in case.

14. Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Pastaaaaaaaaa!!" down the hallway.

15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "FRxUK" means.

16. You end every sentence with "aru".

17. You scream 'paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa' every time you happen to have some.

18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia.

19. You want Prussia back on the map.

20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face.

21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia.

22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic.

23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute.

24. You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like...80 billion times.

25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand.

26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic.

27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday. (and you're American)

28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones.

28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny.

29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia.

30. You have a full playlist dedicated to the music.

31. You and your friends assign each other countries and that's what you call each other.

32. You get EVERYONE obsessed with it.

America (Alfred F. Jones)

You love hamburgers

You think you're awesome

You love to invent things(X)

You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films (X)

You can seem to be very brash to other people

You have a tendency to stick your nose into other people's business

You're terrified of ghosts (X)

You know aliens exist(X)

You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time

You wear glasses (X)

(5/10)

England (Arthur Kirkland)

You like tea(X)

You were quite tough as a kid

You're very sarcastic and cynical

Your cooking is awful

You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts... (X)

...But you refuse to believe in aliens

You have tried doing black magic before

You get drunk quite easily

When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy

You're good at embroidery

(2/10)

France (Francis Bonnefoy)

You're very affectionate (X)

You think you have a great fashion sense

You like wine

You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears

You love red roses (X)

When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women

You're very proud of yourself

You love culture and the arts (X)

You're very flamboyant (X)

You say you're a gourmet

(4/10)

Russia (Ivan Braginski)

You had a very sad childhood

You're very tall

You have a tendency to switch between personalities (X)

You wear a scarf all the time

You love sunflowers(X)

You love vodka

You can seem intimidating to other people

You're very strong

You have a big nose

You have a strange laugh that can scare people

(2/10)

China (Wang Yao)

You're very mature(X)

You're very superstitious (X)

You're very religious(X)

You love pandas (X)

You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes

You love Hello Kitty

You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously (X)

You do work hard (X)

You're good at drawing

You like sweets (X)

(7/10)

North Italy (Feliciano Vargas)

You were bullied a lot in your childhood(X)

You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit (X)

You're very happy-go-lucky (X)

You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies

You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up

You're a good artist

You can be clumsy at times(X)

You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something(X)

If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"(X)

You would surrender in a war situation (X)

(7/10)

Germany (Ludwig)

You're very stoic and serious

Sausages are your favorite foods(X)

You like to walk dogs/your dog(X)

Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case

You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T

You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules

You work very hard(X)

Your alone time is your 'happy time'(X)

You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people

You've had issues with money once or twice(X)

(5/10)

Japan (Kiku Honda)

You're very mature (X)

You think everything over before saying it

You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one(X)

You isolated yourself during childhood(X)

You became very successful in a short amount of time

You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world (X)

You can seem cold/aloof to other people

You're good at practical tasks

You need time to adjust to new people (X)

You are an otaku - an Anime or Manga crazy person(X)

(6/10)

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

You are very well-raised(X)

You're polite(X)

You love classical music (X)

You like cake(X)

You have a mole on your face

You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away (X)

You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument

You've composed music before

You tend to call people 'morons'

You wear glasses(X)

(5/10)

Canada (Matthew Williams)

You're often ignored by people (X)

You look younger than you actually are

You love hockey(X)

You love polar bears (X)

You hate fighting(X)

You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy

You often get mistaken for someone else

You feel under-appreciated (X)

You're bilingual

You always carry a bear with you

(5/10)

Hungary (Elizaveta Hédeváry)

You have a potty-mouth

You like to wear flowers in your hair

You used to be a very tough kid

You're very reliable (X)

It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy

You're very faithful (X)

Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike (X)

You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese

You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next (X)

If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it

(4/10)

Lithuania (Toris Lorinaitis)

You're very loyal(X)

You feel like your best friend drags you around a lot, but you both have a great time together

You're very serious

You have a lot of patience

You think too much about philosophical stuff(X)

You get depressed when questioning the point of existing/the universe, etc...

You're not very confident (X)

You were quite rebellious as a child

People tend to walk all over you (X)

You're a born worrier(X)

(5/10)

Poland (Feliks Łukasiewicz)

You love the color pink(X)

You have a friend that you always walk all over

No matter what happens, you tend to revive like a Phoenix (X)

You act before you think(X)

You are first very shy and hard to get friendly with (X)

….but after you DO get friendly, you act like you're a King towards them

You are able to talk like the opposite gender(X)

You talk with words such as "like" and "totally"

You seem like a clown but you're actually quite delicate(X)

You love ponies(X)

(7/10)

Spain (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo)

You love tomatoes

You're a bright thinker (X)

You have a country-bumpkin like atmosphere(X)

You kinda insensitive(X)

You tend to go along with other people's thoughts or plans (X)

You're scary when you're angry

You're passionate (X)

You have a person that you care for dearly, but they don't seem to appreciate you that much (X)

People should NOT get near you when you had alcohol

You have people that are Best Friends, but rivals at the same time

(6/10)

South Italy (Lovino Vargas)

You have a younger sibling that you don't get along well with (X)

…but you kinda rely on them anyway(X)

You're friendly to girls(X)

…but you're strict and unsocial towards guys

You act strong but actually, you're a wimp

On some parts, you're weaker than your younger sibling(X)

You have someone that cares for you dearly but you think of them as annoying

You love your family, but you just don't show it(X)

You're truthful to yourself, in some cases

You love pasta, pizza, gelato, and fruits (X)

(6/10)

Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt)

You have a younger sibling that you always count on(X)

You're slightly aggressive

You think you're totally awesome

You have a pet bird

You're loyal to your superiors/parents/teachers (X)

You're actually punctual, strict and serious, you just don't seem like it

Some people you like, some people you just hate like insane

You tend to pick on some people

You have an old friend that you just can't beat no matter what

You have good friends, but they're not exactly the best people you can find(X)

(3/10)

Switzerland (Vash Zwingli)

You stay neutral in thing no matter what

You are reclusive(X)

You seem peaceful, but you'll fight if you have to (X)

You work hard on things until they're done(X)

You can't get along friendly with other people

But, you're kind towards siblings(X)

You're actually quite strong

You have a lot of money

You seem difficult to get along with, but you're actually kind and caring (X)

You had a hard past

(5/10)

Korea (Im Yong-Soo)

You care a lot about your family(X)

You love watching movies, and creating things (X)

You're stronger than you seem

You're a Going-My-Way person

You love kimchi

You're mysterious, and people can't tell what you're thinking

You tend to piss off your elders

You like to claim things as yours

You love games and Internet(X)

You're slightly perverted

(3/10)

Finland (Tino Väinämöinen)

You love Christmas and Santa(X)

You're honest and quiet (X)

You are good at high-tech machinery

You like coming up with weird things (X)

You sense of taste is bad, as people say

You tend to fight against people who are stronger than you

You let people poke you around for a while, but then you get them back ten times worse

You love saunas

You're generous, but you also have a scary side as well

For some reason, you have weird naming skills(X)

(4/10)

Sweden (Berwald Oxenstierna)

You don't talk much, and you tend to stay quiet(X)

You're honest, serious, and love debates(X)

You're actually passionate, but you just don't show it

People think you're scary

You're clever with your hands

You make weapons with things that people don't imagine

You're clumsy with human relationships (X)

You tend to go against stronger people

You give up pretty quick

In the inside, you're smiling. On the outside, you're glaring

(3/10)

I'm Poland, China, and Italy/N.Italy! That sort of makes sense... I ended up as Poland in a class game once... I always knew that I had a lot in common with China, and Italy!

Soul Eater Oath:

I promise to remember Kid
Whenever I see something a-symmtrical
And I promise to remember Liz
Whenever I am scared out of my wits
I promise to remember Patty
Whenever I act crazy and/or see a giraffe
And I promise to remember Black*Star
Whenever I feel like the best
I promise to remember Tsubaki
Whenever I help out a friend
And I promise to remember Maka
Whenever I get teased for being a bookworm
I promise to to remember Soul
Whenever someone acts cool
And I promise to remember Lord Death
When I see someone not taking anything seriously
I promise to remember Spirit
When I pass a drinking bar
I promise to remember Stein
Whenever I am disecting something
And I promise to remember Ashura
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Soul Eater! Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Soul Eater fans know

Percy Jackson Oath:

I promise to remember Percy, whenever I'm at sea.

I promise to remember Annabeth, whenever a spider comes after me.

I promise to remember nature, for Grover's sake of course.

I promise to remember Luke, when my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Chiron, whenever I see a sign that says 'free pony ride'.

I promise to remember Tyson, whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side.

I promise to remember Thalia, whenever a friend is scared of heights.

I promise to remember Clarisse, whenever I see someone that gives me a fright.

I promise to remember Bianca, whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother.

I promise to remember Nico, whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others.

I promise to remember Zoe, whenever I watch the stars.

I promise to remember Rachel, whenever I see a limo pass my car.

Yes I promise to love PJO, wherever I may go.

So that all may see my obsession, because I know what the PJO lovers know.

put this
(o) on ur page
if u LOVE music
.ılı.--Volume--.ılı. Min- - - - - - - - - - -Max
Play Pause Stop

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL:

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks.

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies.

8.We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly.

7. Our magazines have horoscopes.

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around.

5.Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm.

4.Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month.

3.Make-up covers any imperfections we may have.

2.If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket.

1.Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and and make freinds on here we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list.

SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA), Hullop (USA), Mayonaka Naze (Dominican Republic), RUHLSAR000 (USA) PotterAnimeJackson(Canada), Mermaid-Luchia(Australia), Jostanos (USA), TheBlackSeaReaper (Bermuda), Kurofai-fan1 (USA), under.that.sun (Lithuania), Spottedmask77(USA), sctwilightvampwolfgal (USA)

STOP THE paring Wars!: By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them. You shall not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. You admit that doing the opposite, you institute a high level of immaturity into your being. You shall have your opinions but shall not insult pairings. You shall avoid them if you hate them. You shall keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing. You shall not flame others for pairings you despise.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

You Know your obsessed with Naruto when...

-Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.

-Live by a strict diet of only ramen.

-Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.

-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "byakugan".

-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.

-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.

-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.

-Paste a piece of paper that says "Icha Icha paradise" on the front of adult books.

-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.

-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet..

-Stick your hand in an electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out.

-Join a website and use one of the Kunoichi's name as your s/n.

-Start to call your teachers Sensei.

-Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.

-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.

-When someone ask you who your dream guy is and you say one of the Naruto guys.

-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.

-Refuse a date because your saving yourself for Deidara-Kun or another Naruto guy.

-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.

-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.

-Put a picture of Sasuke in your wallet and tell your friends it's your boyfriend.

-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.

-Can spout out a random character quote on command.

-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".

-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.

-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.

-Decide that if u can't hit a tree 1500 times then. You'll jump rope 2000.

-Call the teachers you hate Kabuto and sound ninjas and the teacher you hate the most Orochimaru (in your head or outloud)

-Call your principal the Hokage or the Kazekage

-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".

Akatsuki pledge.

I promise to remember Kisame,

whenever I catch some fish,

I promise to remember Itachi,

whenever I make a pure-hearted wish.

I promise to remember Sasori,

whenever I think of true beauty,

I promise to remember Deidara,

whenever I start talking alittle kooky.

I promise to remember Kakuzu,

whenever I'm alittle low on cash,

I promise to remember Hidan,

whenever I act too brash.

I promise to remember Tobi,

whenever I see a good boy,

I promise to remember Zetsu,

whenever I play with my food like a toy.

I promise to remember Sasuke,

whenever I lose my mind entirely,

I promise to remember Orochimaru,

whenever I plan diabolicly.

I promise to remember Pain,

whenever I hope for peace,

I promise to remember Konan,

whenever I put a childs mind at ease.

I promise to remember Akatsuki,

everywhere I go,

I promise to remember Naruto,

cuz' all the other 'tards know.

Copy and Paste if you love the Akatsuki!

You are obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist...

If you find yourself interested in chemistry.

If you find that you are better at science because of the things you have read in FMA and its fanfictions.

If you wish your favorite character was real and you plan out your relationship with him/her down to the last detail.

If you have read or watched the entire series at least 3 times each.

If you own the entire series so far, disks and books alike.

If you have found the easter eggs on the first anime series' disks.

If you were incredibly sad when you read or watched the endings simply because there wasn't any more after it.

If you have made an original character for FMA and try your best to be like him/her.

If you have ever cosplayed as an FMA character.

If you have read 500 or more FMA fanfictions.

If you have looked at 500 or more FMA fanart pieces.

If you spend time writing FMA fanfictions.

If you spend time drawing FMA fanart.

If you feel the need to put something FMA related in your schoolwork.

If you have repeatedly annoyed people by recommending the series to them several times.

If you mess up words and say something FMA related on accident.

If you subconsciously draw transmutation circles on random pieces of paper.

If your pen name is something FMA related.

If you constantly change the subjects of conversations to FMA.

If you fan about various topics from FMA nonstop.

If you connect ever waking thought to something from FMA.

If you have random FMA fanfiction ideas every day, and plan to write them later.

If you constantly wonder "What would (insert favorite character here) do if he/she were here in this situation?"

If you stay up late every night to read FMA or FMA fanfictions.

If you hear songs and make connections from the lyrics to FMA.

If your icon has something to do with FMA.

If your desktop has something to do with FMA.

If you found this site by looking for FMA fanfictions.

If you see people with looks similar to any character from FMA and wish that they could perfect the look.

If you doodle anything FMA related on your schoolwork, homework, or anything else important.

If you really want to own FMA merchandice, and think anyone that does own some is amazing.

If you think of at least one "what if" statement for the FMA world every day.

If you know the FMA opening and closing themes by heart and can sing them flawlessly.

If you are actually taking the time to read this list, and are planning to make one like it.

FMA Oath-
I promise to remember Edward
Each time I clap
And I promise to remember Alphonse
Whenever I see a stray kitten
I promise to never bring anyone back from the dead
And I promise to remember Winry
When my hand clutches a wrench
Yes, I promise to love Fullmetal Alchemist
Wherever I may go
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!!

The Hetalia pledge (Paste this in your profile to be a Hetalian)

I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta.

I promise to remember Germany whenever someone says West.

I promise to remember Japan whenever I see an Asian tourist taking pictures of brightly colored cake.

I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac.

I promise to remember England whenever I watch Doctor Who.

I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose.

I promise to remember China whenever I see Hello Kitty.

I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a lead pipe.

I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian.

I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother.

I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and or see HUGE boobs.

I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA.

I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'.

I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomato field.

I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing.

I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan.

I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play the piano.

I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME!

I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl.

I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a guy with a gun.

I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair.

I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the Opera.

I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat.

I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and/or triangle.

I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes.

I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream.

I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see a boat.

I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather.

I promise to remember Germania whenever I see Legolas from LOTR.

I promise to remember Holy Rome whenever I see a boy too nervous to confess that he loves someone.

This I pledge as a Hetalian. I have promised my brother and sister Hetalians to draw a complete circle. Marukaite Chikyuu, Hetalians! :) Hetalia forever!

Repost this if you laughed...
"Everywhere we go
Everywhere we go
People wanna know
People wanna know
Who we are
Who we are
So we kill them
So we kill them
We’re Akatsuki
We’re Akatsuki
The Mighty Akatsuki
The Mighty Akatsuki
We’re GRRRRREAT!

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say ZAC EFRON
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say Im WEIRD
I say YES I AM

Naruto Name Meanings:

Sasuke- Parrot (BAHAHAHA! That explains so much!)

Itachi- Weasel (So that explains the eye line thingys)

Sakura- Cherry Blossom (Not really creative.)

Kisame- Demon Shark (Really?)

Sasori- Scorpion (I wonder why?)

Kiba- Fang (What gave it away?)

Naruto- Ramen toppings with a pink whirlpool design in the middle (Yeah, I'll have Naruto for lunch.)

Deidara- Mud (SON OF A !!) or Day Flaw (...)

Kakuzu- Painting made to Life (Makes sense if you think 'bout it!)

Hidan- Bandit gang (No duh, Sherlock.)

Pein- Priss (if you fell for that then your a noob!) Pain

Hinata- Sunflower (Awww, how sweet.)

Shikamaru- Deer (I don't like deers anymore! Poor Hidan...)

Tobi- Good Boy (Not true but he is!)

Zabuza- Cuts Once (Interesting... Is it because of the huge sword or the shark teeth?)

Haku- Someone who has a meaning in someones life. (Oh the iorny!)

Neji- Screw (So when i'm saying 'Neji You' i'm really sayig 'Screw You'!)

Konohamaru- leaf or leaves (Of a tree.)

Copy and paste this if you want to be more smartterer! And add another name to it till there's none left

If you believe in God, copy and paste this onto your profile...do it, He's counting on you!

Random things!!!

team switzerland?

edward's cool, but jacob's hot.

i mean thier temperatures.

post this on your profile if it fooled you, so you can fool someone else

my created characters

Amu’s cousin

Hair color: brown

Eye color: gold

Gender: female

Age: 16

Relationship status: dating Zero

She is half vampire, half human. She does NOT drink blood. She is very strong and fast.

Zero

Hair color: gray

Eye color: gold

Gender: male

Age: 16

He is half vampire, half human.

Midnight

Hair color: black

Eye color: black

Gender: female

Age: 17

Relationship status: dating Ikuto

She has black cat ears and tail. She wears all black. Scarlet is her twin sister.

Scarlet

Hair color: red

Eye color: red/ruby

Gender: female

Age: 17

Relationship status: single, crushing on Ace

She has red cat ears and tail. She is always wearing red.

Ace

Hair color: I don’t know, but it’s weird.

Eye color: blue

Gender: male

Age: 15

Relationship status: single, but in love with Amu.

He is a werewolf. He can read minds.

Emma

Hair color: brown

Eyes: blue, wide eyes

Height: normal

Age: 18

Personality traits and reasons for being there: she is strategic, she is fast, and has fast reflexes. She uses what she has, like uses deer bones and fur to make a house. She is smart and understands a lot. She’s responsible and a good leader. She is kind.

Wolf form: black wolf with big, blue eyes.

Anna

Hair color: blond

Eye color: blue

Height: taller than Amu

Age: 15

She’s a model.