Dear people who've read my profile (the top part to the flamers), I've just been having a rough time with my brother and some other near-death stuff. And no, I'm not trying to commit suicide. It's just that I'm getting constant death threats (by my brother mostly), and I'm always feeling like I'm going to die every second of the day. Especially when I feel this thing- fuck, I've said too much already. Anyway, I'm just having a hell of a time getting all this shit out of my mind. And trying to keep myself from dying. It sucks. No, it doesn't just suck. It's worse than living in hell. That's what it feels like at least. Sometimes I feel like I just want to dig my own graver and bury myself so I sufficate to death. But sometimes I think about who's there for me. Some of my readers, my other brother... that's about it. But they still help me out a lot. Enough for me to remember the few things left in my life that are worth living for. It's not much, but it's enough to make me think there's a reason I'm here. Why I was born. And now I think I know what that reason is: to help my brother, the one that's trying to kill me, get through what he's going through so he can remember what it's like to have a good life. I know it will be tough (okay, EXTREMELY tough), but I think I'm up to it. Finally. I think I can help him without getting myself killed in the process. Hopefully. Maybe. I'm positive that I know what he's going through. I can just tell what it is and that I went through the exact same thing. He says I didn't, and that I don't understand a thing, but he's basically a part of me. Literally. Fuck. I didn't mean to say that. Please ask me about that. It's hard enough to say this. It's taking all I have to write this. Anyway, please forgive me if I don't update for a while. I'm trying as hard as I can to get things updated. I'm so distracted with all this shit I'm going through and I really need your support. Even if you're a flamer, I'd appreciate it if you saved your flames until I'm feeling better, you can flame me all you want. I just want your support and you flamers, you don't have to believe me -- actually, none of you have to believe me -- but if you don't have anything to say that will help me, just, please, don't say anything. PLEASE.

Thanks to you who support me and at least TRY to understand, even though, no offence, you probably don't. I know you care (at least, I THINK you care) about me. If you see anything that might be a flame or something, or I let you know, don't feel bad for me. I hate it when people feel bad for me. Just try to help me as best you can.

Thanks again!

Sister

Kill me now.

Okay, not literally. But I officially hate myself. I've read my stories that I've posted and I really can't believe how horribly written they are. It makes me mad. I wish I could re-write all of them. I am re-writing some of them actually. The ones I'm re-writing are the reading the books one, Shira Lanota, maybe Jason Jackson (tell me if you want that one re-written. I don't know if you want a better version or not, so let me know please!) I have a few one-shots that I'll be posting to keep you guys from thinking I died or something, so you can expect some of those. And I have a Harry Potter/Percy Jackson crossover I'm writing, but I'm going to put the chapters up slowly to give myself more time to actually write it well. So don't expect really fast chapter updates. But I've gotten pretty far on that one and the "Reading the Books" re-write. So that'll be up soon, too.

Sorry for not posting! I've been... busy. Anyway! I'll be posting soon! And just to give you a time frame, so you don't expect things in, like, a couple days, the first chapter of the "Reading the Books" re-write will be up within this December. Maybe the first week of January, but that's at the latest. Feel free to PM me (hey, that rhymed! sorry.) if the chapters are a little late, even though they shouldn't be. But if they are, go ahead.

Oh, and Flamers? I had an AWESOME idea of what to do with your flames. Okay, a few ideas. First, I have some old crappy journals I don't need anymore and they need to be BURNED! YES! Also, I can burn the used wrapping paper that had been used for Christmas presents. Lastly, I can burn you! That's my favorite idea. Because, in case you haven't noticed, whenever someone writes a slash, there's usually a warning that says "WARNING! THIS IS SLASH!!!" somewhere in the summary or before the story actually starts. So I would like to say that either you can't read, meaning you shouldn't even be on FanFiction, or you're just plain stupid, or you're just an asshole. Pick one.

Got this profile idea from looking at Pretty Love Muffin’s profile!

Age: not telling!

Favorite Number: 13, 23, or 0.

Favorite Letter question mark? (and squigly!) O.o

Favorite Colors black and red (and grey, and white)

Favorite Animal: ?? I don’t know! There’s too many!

Favorite Pairings: Luke/Percy, Percy/Nico, Percy/Jason, Jason/Piper, Percabeth (sometimes)

Favorite Songs: Going under- evanescence, Jumper- third-eye blind, Suicide is painless- Marilyn Manson, Break even (don’ know who it’s by), 21 guns (don’t know who it’s by either), Missing- evanescence, Farther away- evanescence, Haunted- evanescence, My last breath- evanescence (most anything by evanescence), Mad world- Gary Jules, Firework- Katy Perry, Grenade- Bruno Mars, Final day- pennywise, anything by 3Oh!3, and anything by Kurt Jorgenson! Most are sad or depressing ‘cuz that’s how I am!

Favorite Places to Relax: The roof (so peacful!), The forest by my house, and in any tall tree. Also the beach.

Favorite Things to do: Write, draw, read (my friends stories on fanfiction as well as books!), play games & watch TV.

Favorite Foods: MEAT! yay! I praise thee!

To Describe Myself: I love slash (sometimes)

I love animals and have an imaginary brother (kind of)! I wish I could put a pic of him on here... He’s so cool!

I have the reputation of being a cat in my past life... I undertand perfictally why! I used to immitate a cat when I was younger. I also love heights and the outdoors.

Favorite Quotes: "Tired of these endless games, Time to end the darkened day To raise the sword to kill the light Because there is no reason left to fight..." by Night Oasis

"There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light even one small candle." by Robery Alden

"Those who fear the darkness have no idea what what the light can do." by Katasai Rakshassa

"You're welcome to believe that the world is a nice, logical, rational, safe place... You'll be wrong, but that hasn't stopped anyone who thinks the same way." by Dierdre, Otherworld by Mercades Lackey and Holly Lisle

"The gods conceal from men the happiness of death, that they may endure life." by Lucan

"In a strange way, I have fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony." by Elizabeth Wurtzel

"I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remaint. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is, in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible..." by Elizabeth Wurtzel

"Death tugs at my ear and says: 'Live, I am coming.'" by Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Call no man happy 'til he is dead." by Aeschylus

"Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh." by Robert Bolt

"Man always dies before he is fully born." by Erich Fromm

"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow." by Euripides

"Suicide is a man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'" Unknown

"Death is just around the corner and you can't walk away." Unknown

"Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now... I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile..." Unknown

""A penny for your thoughts?" "A dollar for your death."" by Felix and Oscar

"Death may be the greatest of all human blessings." by Socrates

"It's just one of those days where I just want to disappear, To get away from everything, Because I hate my life here. Dying seems less sad than having lived too little." Unknown

"Depression is nourished by a lifetime of unforgiven hurts." by Ponelope Sweet

"That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key." by Elizabeth Wurtzel

"Death is the only pure, beautiful conclusion of a great passion." by David Herbert Lawrence

"They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has more unassailable title than his own life and passion." by Arthur Schopenhaer

"I found more joy in sorrow than you can find in joy." by Sara Teasdale

"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." by Stephen King

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." by Terry Pratchett

"'Cause I swear I'm dying, slowly, but it's happening." by Conor Oberst

"A girl calls and asks, Does it hurt very much to die? Well, sweetheart, I tell her, yes, but it hurts a lot more to keep living." by Chuck Palahniuk

"Death knocks once, dying, countless times." by Martin Dansky

"Dying can't be all that difficult, up to now everyone has managed to do it." by Norman Mailer

Favorite Song Lines, Quotes, and Phrases:
Linkin Park, In the End: "It doesn't even matter how hard you try"

"The clock ticks life away"

"Wasted it all just to
Watch you go"

"I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be of a time when I tried so hard"

"But in the end
It doesn't even matter"

"I had to fall
To lose it all"

"Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)"

"Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then"

"I've put my trust in you"

Linkin Park, Bleed It Out: "Yeah, here we go for the hundred time
Hand grenade pins in every line
Throw 'em up and let something shine
Going out of my f*ing mind"

"Find a new place to hang this noose
String me up from atop these roofs
Knot it tight so I won't get loose"

"Run myself out and no one cares
Dug a trench out, laid dow there"

"I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away"

"Shotgun up lock and load
Cock it back and then watch it go"

"I've been cursed
Death is rolling in every verse"

Linkin Park, Numb: "I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes"

"Every step that I take is another mistake to you"

Become so tired"

"All I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you"

"Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you"

"And every second I waste is more than I can take"

"I may end up failing too."

"You were just like me with someone disappointed in you."

Evanescence, Father Away: "I sold my soul just to hide the light"

"I'm numb to you - numb and deaf and blind"

"I reach but I feel only air at night
Not you, not love, just nothing"

"Try to forget you
But without you I feel nothing
Don't leave me here, by myself
I can't breathe"

Evanescence, Going Under: "50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me"

"Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom"

"I'm dying again"

"I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever"

"Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies"

"Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore"

"Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under"

Evanescence, Haunted: "Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow...inside"

"Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down"

Evanescence, My Last Breath: "All I wanted to say was 'I love you and I'm not afraid'"

"Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself"

"Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight"

"I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears"

"No one's there"

"Calling me as you fade to black"

3Oh!3, Hornz: THE WHOLE SONG!!!!

3Oh!3, Punkb*tch: THE WHOLE SONG!!!!

3Oh!3, Photofinnish: THE WHOLE SONG!!!!

Quotes By Me!: "I always thought that family was supposed to be one of the greatest things in the world. I guess I was wrong. I never feel like I am in the presence of greatness when I am with my family. Instead, I just feel like I am dying a slow, painful death..."

"(Me): "I've always loved you, you know. Even when I first met you and you wanted to kill me for a few years. I still love you."

(My bro): *Laughs* "I know."

(Me): *Laughs* "So, do you still want to kill me?"

(My bro): "Sometimes, but not very much."

(Me): "Me too.""

"The only way to cure mental pain is physical pain. And visa versa."

"Loving the light is worse than loving the dark. Why? Because light can make you think things make sense. But in reality, it only takes away your ability to see the real world. And that real world makes more sense than the fake world of light you are living in. Don't fear the dark. Instead, love it. Fear the light if you need to fear anything. You couldn't be more deceived by living in a world of light. Darkness should be loved, not feared. To me, darkness is the best thing in the world. And it should be to you, too. Live in darkness, and it will heal the fake world you used to live in. It has healed me, and it will heal you, too. But only if you let it."

Favorite Lost Hero Quotes: "Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, 'festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?""

""Can we just call them storm spirits?" Leo asked. "Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks.""

"Either this guy was naturally hyper, or he was hopped up on enough sugar and caffeine to give a heart attack to a water buffalo."

"He offered his arm to Jason like they should go skipping inside together. "I'm Dylan. I'm so cool, I want to date myself, but I can't figure out how! You want to date me instead? You're so Lucky!""- Leo Valdez

"I have lightning and wind powers.," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMW's. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"

Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than, "Flame on!""

""Vulcan?" Leo demanded. "I don't even LIKE Star Trek."

"Will, would you take Leo, and give him a tour. Introduce him to his bunk mates in Cabin Nine."

"Sure, Annabeth."

"What's Cabin Nine?" Leo asked. "And I'm not a Vulcan!"

"Come on, Mr. Spock, I'll explain everything.""

""Oh, cool! Suffering? I love suffering! Let's do this.""-Leo Valdez

"It tilted it's head as if to say, Why aren't you running away in terror?"- Festus

"Why no crispy critter?"- Festus

""Please excuse Jason from eternal damnation. He has amnesia.""- I don't know who said it, but I'm assuming it was Leo.

Favorite PJO Quotes: ""Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."

Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar.?"

Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is so funny?"

"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."

I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."

"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.""- I think that's from The Titan's Curse, But I'm not sure.

"He nodded sleepily. "With great power... comes a great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.""- Nico de Angelo- That's me too! (The Last Olympian)

"Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face." That's from either The Lightning Thief, or The Sea of Monsters. But, again, I do the same thing with deadlines.

"Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy figures appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment, as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wandered, off-task, if the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"- (The Lightning Thief)

""Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.""- (The Battle of the Labyrinth)

""Can you surf really well then?"

I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.

"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I never really tried."

He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)"- (The Titan's Curse) I've felt like that towards my bro a lot.

"She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands. I imagined she was going to say, You killed the minotaur!' or 'Wow, you're so awesome!' or something like that.

Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep.""- (The Lightning Thief)

""Braccas meas vescimini!"

I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant, 'Eat my pants!'"- (The Lightning Thief)

"OPEN WITH CARE. TRIPLE G RANCH IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPERTY DAMAGE, MAIMING, OR EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL DEATHS."- (The Battle of the Labyrinth)

""The world will fall, the gods will die, and I will never achieve a perfect score on this machine.""- Dionysius I think that's from The Last Olympian

"Poseidon raised his eyebrows as they shook hands. "Blowfish, did you say?"

"Ah, no. Blofis, actually."

"Oh, I see," Poseidon said. "A shame. I quite like blowfish."" (The Battle of the Labyrinth)

Favorite Red Pyramid Quotes: ""Ah, Mastery of the Five Elements!"

"Is that the one we want?" I asked.

"No, but a good one. How to tame the five essential elements of the universe- earth, air, water, fire, and cheese!"

"Cheese?""

"Carter Kane, 14, died tragically in Paris when he was eaten by his sister's cat, Muffin."

""It's my birthday," Horus insisted. "Wish me a happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday!" I yelled. "Now shut up!""

"After six lawyers, two fist fights, and a near fatal attack with a spatula (don't ask)..."

Favorite Weird Laws: Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown in Florida.

In fire-sensitive Chicago, it is against the law to eat in an establishment that is on fire.

In Louisiana, it is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within city limits.

In Mobile, Alabama, it is illegal for pigeons to eat pebbles from composite roofs.

In Alaska, moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

In California, no vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 MPH.

The English language is not to be spoken in Illinois.

In New Mexico, idiots may not vote.

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish in Pennsylvania.

Whenever two trains meet at an intersection in Wisconsin of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.

In Alaska, it is consitered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

In Pueblo, Colorado, it is illegal to let a danilion to grow within city limits.

In order for a pickle to be officially be considered a pickle in Connectucut, it must bounce.

Anyway, nothing else. If I think of something I’ll type it up!

C ya! :)

Love,

Sister =.=