![]() Author has written 17 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, True Blood, Bleach, Mummy, Pride and Prejudice, Charmed, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Vampire Diaries, Pirates of the Caribbean, Legend of Korra, and A song of Ice and Fire. She's just turned twenty-one. Hates college and working at mcyd's. Has annoying parents and siblings. Loves reading, writing, and almost any kind of music (other than rap, heavy metal, or screamo.) FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this Rules For Hogwarts: - If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE! (though it would be funnier than hell, and shock them shitless) - Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar (that we know of) - I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month. (Even though he's more tempremental than a girl) - I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort (even though he needs one beyond bothering Harry Potter) - I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape (now see this is something I would stupidly do so just to piss the man off) - Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda (yes, hight has everything to do with it:) - I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'. (though baffling pure- bloods is funnier than all get out) - The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. (that's when you lie and say you are anyway) - If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it. (then us it repeatedly anyhow) - It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. (watching people freak out is worth it though) - "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. (because there are too many to be counted) - Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey." (isn't that more of a Slytherin or Ravenclaw type of stich?) - I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs (again baffling pure- bloods is fun and should be done on a daily basis) - The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife with PMS (that's why it's everlasting?) - "I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!" (no I'd tell the dumb ass I was one of them. Moron might actually take a moment to think about his actions in life) - "So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead." (you would sound about like Voldy or Palpatine by that point. Cocky and a vindictive bastard) - Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret (love Draco, but the ferret thing was pretty damned funny) - No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. (only the muggleborns would understand, so there might not be as much harm as I first thought. Pure- bloods are such morons) - Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July... (does he even know who Santa is?) - Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such. (unless you turn them into plush toys) - I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office (even if he laughs along with you, the other professors find it to be of bad manners) - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group. (no you just wait until you're in his office) - Especially not with kazoos. (no, harmonicas sound so much better) - The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable". (though I'm tempted to use them on Voldy any way) - Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden. (WTF is Martok? Someone get a dictionary and explain please) - There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man". (really I thought that was the friar's nickname?) ...Even if I do conjure him up. (no need to, he already exists. the friar remember) - Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow. (do it anyway and wait for the candy to fly. better yet wait till a group of Slytherins are alone and make sure it's filled with flour) - The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate. (unless Bellatrix Lestrange has just been pronounced dead by the Ministry) - Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge. (her too, no I take that back start singing the moment she walks through the door) - I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins. (oh just wait till Halloween, muggles will think I'm bloody well crazy) - I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?" ( I was thinking more along the line of cousins) - I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me." (I would do so any way just to see the horror on his face when asked) - Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas. (no he just need to have those things done more often) - No combination of these is acceptable. (I'd buy him shampoo instead) - Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny. (no that actually is true, though at first I would consider putting myself in a mental hospital) - Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom. ( Apperating, or portkeying) - I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways. (still do so in my head though, and with an invisibility cloak it works much better) - I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever. (that's when you say it was the only example I could think up for his violent mood swings) - If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change. ( Pure- bloods don't understand muggle television shows) - I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either. (no sense of humored mother effin' piss ants, always ruinin' me fun) - I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating. (No I would say 'to infinity and beyond' again) - I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals (Yugioh and Digimon as well) -Never tempt MacGanagal with catnip and get her high. (no matter how much she purs for the stuff) -I'll not tempt fate by telling Lucious Malfoy that he looks like a male version of Lady Gaga. (the look of bewilderment will be priceless) -Never take pure- bloods bowling (watching them fall on their asses would be fun though) -Never say that you believe Harry Potter would make an excelent trophy husband, for Ginny Weasly will hunt you down and tell you that he is hers (don't believe a word she says she's his stalker) -Blackmail Draco Malfoy about his crush on Harry Potter (do so anyway for laughs) -Ask Minister Fudge if his family owns a candy company (his last name would make you think so) -Never ask the twins to play pranks after getting them drunk on Firewhiskey (using reverse psychology and pull one on Snape) -Date Harry Potter (Ginny Weasly or Draco Malfoy will beat you to a pulp, bloodied stalkers) -Never tell Mrs. Weasley you think that her cooking sucks and that she should ask the house elves for cooking lessons. ( she'll chase you with a skillet threatening to bash your head in) -Never ask Snape who broke his nose. (You will get cursed) -Never ask Hermione if Viktor Krum went all the way home. (Ron will curse you sooner than you can say Quiddich) If you have a scary crush on a book, anime or game character then copy this into your profile If you hear the voices of your characters in your head, please copy this into your profile. If you love Yaoi/Shonen-ai, copy this to your profile/signature! If you're a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile. If you belive in gay rights, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever ran into a door, copy this to your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this to your profile. f you're fricken crazy and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate back stabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile (doing so sarcastically will not win you any favors either, for I do this quite frequently) If you have fell down the stairs, copy this to your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you've ever been so obsessed with a TV or Movie character that you scare everyone who knows you, join the club, and copy and paste this to your profile. Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitl raed tihs. Cpoy and Psate tihs itno yuor porflie if you can raed tihs. if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile (If this ever happened, I would be behind her with a pirate sword and outfit on, pushing her off of the "plank". nods solemnly I wait for that day too. I wait for it too...) "If the opposite of Pro is Con then the opposite of Progress is Congress" - random thought from EroSlackerMicha's profile "There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out" - from EroSlackerMicha's profile "I am fluent in three languages. English, Sarcasm and Profanity." from EroSlackerMicha's profile Put this You know you have seen too much anime if The opening or closing songs not the anime itself is a reflection of your life. You don't know what the heck if going on in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya but the songs get you every time and you don't even understand Japanese. You refer to your mood in terms of anime characters. You migth feel a little Shinji today or perhaps you are feeling Lelouchian. Even your anime watching friends are freaked out when you declare that you feel like Haruhi Suzumiya. You have shipping battle with yourself. Not the voices in your head but you at different ages with stuffed animals representing the five year old you and the ten year old you, etc. You begin having conversations with Marianne and VV just like CC does. If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! Weird is good, strange it bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile! Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday 98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person (or not) copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. "Life is as miserable as it is. Why would someone in God's name seek to prolong it?" Edgar Allan Poe in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame Smith King Henry VIII: You think you know a story, but you only know how it ends. To get to the heart of the story, you have to go back to the beginning Queen Katherine: He will tire of you, like all the others. Anne Boleyn: [about Henry] They say all his liaisons are soon over. He blows hot, he blows cold... Thomas Wyatt: [talking to Thomas Tallis of Anne Boleyn] For what it's worth I did fuck her. Anne of Cleves: If I Cannot Please The King, Will He Kill Me? they hurt her:They hurt her: bout six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you love each other everyday never mourn in the past... This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, youwill meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded |
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