Happy New Year everyone. Once again, I would like to say thank you for all the love you have shown me in regards with this series. Your love and support mean the world to me. As a treat to you all, I wanted to get Part lll out for you all at the start of the new year. Part lV will take a bit longer to get out. I'm going to be busy over the next fortnight but I'm aiming for around the end of the month. Until then, I hope parts l-lll can hold you over.

I hope you all enjoy this new chapter.

Naruto/Percy Jackson Crossover

Dining With Divinity 3

Part lll

Letting out a yawn, Naruto rubbed his face as he tried to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. Waking up at five am every morning had been a struggle initially. For as long as the blonde shinobi could remember, he'd never been a morning person. From his time in the academy to his days as a member of Team Seven, and even during his tenure as the Seventh Hokage of Hidden Leaf Village, waking up at such an obscene time was a struggle. These days, being the owner of a cafe diner required him to open up hours before the rest of the world opened their eyes, and get everything ready for the day that lay ahead. He didn't have the luxury of Kakashi-sensei, or later on, Hinata, to wake him up anymore.

He could have made a shadow clone and have the clone do it, but he knew if he did that, and remained in bed, he would do it every morning. He didn't want to fall into the trap of beginning a bad habit. It was the same reason he didn't use the Hiraishin to get to work. Besides, the walk from his home to the Fox's Den helped wake him up. It was Sunday, which meant he was only open until two. After that, he planned on going home and sleeping the day away until it was time to restart his week all over again.

Walking the streets at such an early time, it would always surprise him to see people much like himself, out and about already starting their day. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and the brisk chill of the air nipped at his skin, reddening his cheeks and the tip of his nose. He nodded his head at a passerby, who was heading towards a nearby OPS truck as packages of all sizes were being loaded on and off with great care.

OPS? That must be new.

"Morning."

"Good Morning."

Rounding the corner, he sniffled when the Fox's Den came into sight with its bright orange frame standing out amongst the dull colours of the other building. Didn't people understand if they wanted to attract the attention of the people passing by, then what better way was there then using the brightest shade of the best colour in the world!? If nothing else, it would cause people to stop and look.

Digging into his pockets and pulling out a key, he quickly entered the Fox's Den and locked the door behind him. Switching the lights on, he could still detect the lingering scent of chocolate and coffee from the day before. Shaking the cold away, he eyed up the coffee machine to warm him up as he removed his coat and hung it up in his office, which was nothing more than a little hole in the wall room where he could keep all the legal stuff and keep the computer.

Crossing his fingers, he called out his trademark jutsu, "Shadow Clones Jutsu!" Two dozen Naruto's appeared in front of him, falling into three lines of eight and offered the original a quick-fingered salute.

"Alright, you all know the drill. The list of what we need to make this morning will be on the countertop. The special of the day won't be anything too fancy, but I thought we'd go with a blueberry skyr cheesecake." He watched them nod their heads, "The skyr yoghurt is on the top shelf. If we need any more, Hiraishin over to Reykjavik and head to that store I frequented when last there. The one nearest to the theatre house." They nodded again, forcing him to clap his hands together, "Alright then. You know what to do. Let's go!"

"Hai!"

One by one, the clones made their way into the kitchen, the door flapping in an endless loop as each clone passed through. Letting out another yawn, he turned around and started the process of switching the machines on, from the coffee grinder to the espresso machine, to the automatic drip coffee makers. While his clones handled the baking in the kitchen, he'd handle setting the place up in the front before joining them.

While he was on his own in the front, he made himself a drink while he could. The blonde ninja was fond of a Spanish latte, though instead of sugar, he added a splash of honey. Honey was packed full of natural sweetness and energy, and in his opinion, a better option than sugar. His hands moved together with perfect fluidity thanks to constant repetition.

Honey, along with a shot of espresso added to the mix, made him hum in delight as he brought the drink up to his mouth. Now that was the good stuff! When he was younger, he never imagined anything coming close to his love for ramen. However, these days he couldn't imagine a morning without some form of caffeine to start his day.

He had a couple of hours before he opened his doors to the public. Once open, he estimated he'd have around ten minutes before the first batch of customers started filing their way in, likely for a takeaway order. Wandering the earth for as long as he had, the blonde owner of the Fox's Den had become good at reading people. He knew when to talk to his customers, and when to leave them be and let them get on with their day.

Disappearing once again into the back room, he returned moments later with a large cardboard box in his arms and placed it down on the counter. Unsealing the top, he got a glimpse of the inside. His new order of paper cups had arrived the day before, and like most things in his life, they were bright orange too. A majority of his customers during the morning rush took their orders away with them and his paper cups were nothing more than the store-bought cups anyone could purchase. These new ones were ordered and designed for the Fox's Den, with a chibi styled fox sporting nine tails in the centre drinking a coffee.

There could never be too much orange in one person's life. Not to mention, he came to accept it was the little things in life that kept him going. Who knew new paper cups would sput a smile on his face. He hoped Kurama didn't mind having his silhouette as the new logo for his business.

"His face if he saw these. He'd be so mad." He whispered, staring at the chibi fox on the cup, and letting out a low laugh, "He'd never forgive me for turning him into a cute cartoon."

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Blinking in surprise at the sound, Naruto turned around and faced the doorway, and found himself staring back at a pair of blue eyes on the other side of the glass. Stood with one hand knocking against the glass, was a man somewhere in his late twenties if he had to guess, and dressed up like a mailman, shorts and all. The man possessed dark curly hair poking out from beneath his hat, with elfish features and looked like he was in desperate need of a good nights sleep with dark shadows forming beneath his eyes. It was even more evident when the man broke out into a yawn.

The man then offered him a wave.

"Hey! Any chance I can come in!?"

Moments Earlier

"We got another delivery come in. It looks like another set of packages have come in for Janus. He's requesting it for delivery at 8 am sharp." Hermes heard, and noticed the heads of George and Martha come to life and turning to look at him. A loud ping followed after, and Hermes couldn't stop the groan from leaving his mouth as he watched Janus's name popped up on the itinerary.

As was his every day, The God of Messengers, Travellers, Thieves and a whole array of other domains found himself piled high with his usual responsibilities and duties. None of his Olympian brother's had ever worked the kind of hours he worked regularly. Apollo, in particular, as much as he loved his best friend and older brother, was going through his lazy season. The God of the Sun worked little during the winter season, hence why the days were short and the nights long, much to the ire of his twin sister. The Sun God spent his time slacking off when he should have been fulfilling his godly duties and wooing beautiful mortals and bringing them to his bed.

"We just left New Rome an hour ago. What's is Janus ordering this time!"

As much as Hermes wanted to do the same, his godly domains were some of the most time consuming with the world today and left little room for him to enjoy the pleasures that came with modern society. Back in the day, it was his duty to watch over the travellers and merchants as they went on their long and arduous journeys across Greece and deliver the messages from the Sky to the Sea, and the Underworld. As one of the few Gods who had permission to cross into the domains of his father and his uncles, it made his position on Olympus all the more important.

These days, his domains that humanity fell under became so varied thanks to society adapting and growing as a whole, that he became the busiest Olympian out of his whole family. One positive though was that out of all the gods, Hermes felt he was the one who had the best understanding of mortals, thanks to all the time he spent mingling with them. The only ones that came close were Athena and Artemis.

With today's developments, his immortal family was keeping him busier than ever. Athena and Aphrodite even had the gall to have him deliver their demi-gods to their mortal parents moments after their birth. You'd think that was something that needed a face to face conversation, but apparently, he was wrong.

On the rare occasion when he didn't have to work, he often found himself stealing a page out of Apollo's book, spending the night with a woman. There was honestly no better stress relief than a good old fashion rumble and tumble in the bedroom, which often led to the birth of his demi-god children. Speaking of his demi-god children, Hermes felt a flicker of his essence pulsate a few days back somewhere out in California. It was a feeling he'd felt many times before when his demi-god children were born. It turned out, a young woman that he spent the night with during the spring of last year had given birth to his latest son.

If it wasn't for his hectic schedule, and the laws Olympus followed, he would visit his children as often as he could. As it was, the best he could do was watch over them, and their mothers from afar and offer them aid when he could.

Eyeing up the two snakes that wrapped themselves around his famous caduceus, the two let out a low hiss as they looked over the list of deliveries he kept on the monitor at all times, "Look's like he ordered season three and four of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on DVD."

"What!? He could have just snapped his fingers and made them appear if he wanted them so bad!" Throwing his hands in the air, the Son of Zeus glared at the monitor, "I swear to Hades, that damn border god is doing this on purpose! Just order from Amazon! Not me!"

"We got another order coming in. This time from Dionysus."

Hermes rolled his eyes, "No, no, no. I know what that drunk is trying to get ahold of." He leaned forward and deleted the incoming order with a click of his fingers. Grabbing his notepad, he wrote down a short message for the God of Wine, before clicking his fingers and sending it off to the Wine God's residence at Camp Halfblood. Ever since Dionysus made the mistake of chasing after a nymph that Zeus declared off-limits, he'd been forced to remain sober and not touch any source of wine for a hundred years, as well as run Camp Half-blood. His punishment made his younger brother miserable.

"If he thinks I'm falling for his tricks, then think again. He forgets I'm the God of Thieves." His brother would be angry, but he could handle Dionysus.

Falling back against his seat, Hermes rubbed his eyes and couldn't stop the yawn from escaping his mouth. Gods, he was tired. The rest of his family didn't know how good they had it.

"I need coffee, otherwise, I'm not going to make it." Stretching out his hand, a mug reading 'Worlds Best Grandma', a recent present from Apollo appeared, coffee filled to the top inside. Giving it a quick sniff, he brought it up to his lips and instantly regretted it. Rolling down the window, Hermes spat the coffee out onto the street, followed soon after by the rest of the mug.

As a god, he could make almost anything appear if he willed it so. All he had to do was picture it in his mind, and will it to be. However, with food and drinks and other edible delicacies, said god had to have some skill over the art. He wasn't bad by any means and was known to treat his mortal lovers to a homecooked meal from time to time, which made the food he conjured pretty good. His Aunt Hestia and even his stepmother had given him their stamp of approval. Yet, for some reason unbeknownst to him, Hermes could never make a decent cup of coffee. Is was the most ridiculous thing. No matter how hard he tried, the Olympian could not crack the code after years of practising. It was such a mundane thing, yet he failed miserably at it.

If Apollo, Ares, or any of his brothers found out they wouldn't let him live it down.

Feeling someone tapping his leg, Hermes glanced over at George and Martha, the latter of whom was trying to get his attention. "What?"

"We can afford to take a short break. Why not make a stop and get refreshments?"

"Oh? And where do you suggest?"

He watched as the two snakes turn to look at each other, whisper something to one another, before turning back to look at him, "How about that place up the street?"

Hermes blinked "Place up the street?" He leaned forward and squinted his eyes. It took him a moment to realise what George and Martha were trying to point out. Up the road, not even a minute walk, he spotted a light on in one of the nearby windows. Despite Apollo not yet flying his chariot through the sky, street lights were enough to show off the orange frame that wrapped around the front of the store.

"The Fox's Den?" He read, before tapping his chin, "Why does that sound familiar?"

"It's the cafe Aphrodite mentioned a fortnight ago at Apollo's poker night." George hissed, as realisation lit up his face.

"Oh, that's right!"

How could he forget!? It was all Aphrodite went on about all night. After a while, Hermes, along with everyone else, had tuned out the Love Goddess, but some of what she said had filtered in. All he remembered her saying was that some hunky mortal made one of the most delicious strawberry milkshakes and dessert she'd ever tasted and that it was so good that Olympus's most beautiful Goddess rewarded the mortal with a big smooch in the middle of his establishment. It was so good that she dared to say it might be as good as the delicacies Aunt Hestia and Aunt Hera were known to create.

If he remembered right, even Athena and Artemis enjoyed it. If his two elder sister's enjoyed something created by a male mortal, then he must have been good. They were notoriously picky and hard to please.

Grinning, Hermes didn't hear what George and Martha said next, before waving his hand and turning his caduceus to its phone form. The Olympian God was already on his feet, closing his truck door shut with newfound energy as he marched over to the Fox's Den.

"Well!? Let's go and see what the fuss is about!"

Present

Leaving the counter, the blonde owner of the Fox's Den walked closer to the door, gazing curiously at the man of the other side, "Hey, I'm not open yet, and I won't be open for a couple of hours." He pointed to the clock behind on the wall behind the counter, "Come back later, and I'll be happy to take your order."

What hope he had that the guy would take his word and leave was proven false when the guy didn't move.

"Aww come on! Can't you make an exception this once?" Hermes put his hands together in a prayer motion, "I've been up for hours. I need a little pick me up, that's all."

Rolling his eyes and feeling a headache coming on, Naruto took another step closer to the door. It was too early for this. "Look, I haven't got much ready. I just walked through the door a minute ago myself. Why don't you go to Starbucks or something? I'm sure one of those is open twenty-four seven."

In response, Hermes made a face and stuck his tongue. "No way. I hate all that franchise crap. They stopped making good coffee years ago, and I hear you make a hell of a drink. I have it from a reliable source that you're one of the best in the city!"

"Oh? Who's this reliable source?" One of his regular customers maybe? He wondered if one of those food critics stopped by. He thought he saw one stop by a week ago, taking notes on a little notepad and looking very up themselves. Every order sent his way, Naruto put a little bit of extra care into, resulting in the guy leaving with the biggest smile on his face. It was a good feeling watching his customers leave with big smiles on their faces.

Hoping to get an answer, the blonde received a wagging finger in return instead. "Ah! Ah! Ah! That would be telling. I could never give up my reliable sources, but know they had nothing but glowing reviews about this place you have." Frowning, Naruto was about to speak, before he got cut off, "You're here, and the machines are on." He pointed to the coffee machine behind the blonde and pointed to the coffee that was in Naruto's hands. "Come on. Help a fella out."

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto looked too and from the mailman and his machines, before letting out a reluctant sigh. Taking a deep breath, he ignored the dark-haired man making a fist in the air, and unlocked the door. "No funny business. Got it?" Giving the man a stern look, he watched as the mailman threw his hands up in the air.

"Don't worry! I come in peace and all that good stuff. Cross my heart." He made a little motion with his hands over his chest. "I'll be gone before you know it."

"Right."

Rubbing his eyes and looking at the man suspiciously, Naruto gave a short nod and led Hermes to the counter. His gut was telling him this guy was trouble. Something about the guy screamed prankster. He would know, being one himself. Handing Hermes a menu, the blond leaned against the counter as he unwrapped his paper cups from their box and picked one out for use. "Take a look, and tell me what takes your fancy. I'll let you know if it's currently available or not."

"You got it." Naruto made a motion, and poked his head through the door leading to the kitchen, giving his clones a subtle sign not to come out. He didn't need a mailman catching his clones at work, nor did he want to explain why there were dozens of himself. "Nice place you have here."

"Thanks." The blonde replied.

"How long have you been open?"

"Not long," the blonde admitted, "About two months. I opened up before the Christmas period started. Kept me busy and gave this place the boost it needed, but it got crazy busy and hectic some days. I sometimes wondered if I made a mistake."

Hermes nodded. "I bet. Christmas is always the worst when you're in our line of work. Delivering goods to the people of the world in whatever form that takes."

Glancing across the menu, Hermes whistled, an appraising and dubious look on his face. 'Wow. Aphrodite wasn't kidding when she said this menu was varied. There's something of everything in here.' The Olympian would admit he wasn't one to visit cafes often. They were more his sisters kind of thing or his aunts. Like his brothers, he preferred bars or night clubs since he picked up most of his hookup from them, though he enjoyed an occasional beer or two to go with the night. 'I need something to keep me awake for the rest of the day.'

Not knowing much apart from the standard caffeine-based beverages, Hermes eyed the drink in Naruto's hand, "What do you have?"

"Oh, this?" Naruto took a small swig of his drink, "It's a Spanish latte."

Curiosity peaking, Hermes leaned on the tabletop, "Is it any different from a regular latte?"

To answer his question, he received a waved hand in the middle of the air, "It's more of an espresso-based drink with textured milk and condensed milk. It's sweeter than a latte, but not as much as a latte with flavoured syrup. Though I don't use sugar in my drink, and instead, use honey."

Hermes nodded his head and liked the sound of everything he just heard. "I'll take one of those." He especially liked the espresso part. That would do the trick in keeping him awake.

"Sure. Do you want food to take with you?" Hermes scratched the back of his head, looking indecisive, "If you can't decide, I've got some lemon squares leftover from the day before. They won't be fresh, but they'll still taste good. I can have them bagged up for you. Free of charge since I made them the other day."

The god's eyes lit up, and a bright expression washed over his face, "That would be great. Thanks!"

"No problem. Take a seat, and I'll bring them over."

Watching as the blonde owner turned around and prepared his drink, Hermes spun around and headed for the closest table. Maybe this place was alright after all, and everything Aprhdoite was spouting on about wasn't just hot air. The mortal appeared decent enough. After all, who would give away lemon squares for free? No one he'd ever met, that's for sure. Not to mention, if he could win over his male hating sister, then the guy must be doing something right. Though, watching as the mortal went to work, he understood why Aphrodite kept mentioning the handsome owner. If he'd won over the Goddess of Love, then Hermes could count down the days she inevitably invited him into her bed.

Her two biggest weakness's after all were chocolates and handsome mortals. This guy represented both, which meant he was as good as hers, and he didn't even know it. Though, it could be hard with Athena and Artemis around. Both seemed equally as interested in the mortal, though for different reasons. As far as Hermes was concerned, he was staying out of any trouble those three might create.

He thought back to the Love Goddess, 'Then again, she does like a challenge.' He thought, leaning on the table and resting his head against his arms, 'I wonder if I should start a betting pool? A hundred drachma's maybe?' He would have to look into this some more when he wasn't feeling as tired.

Sighing and rubbing his face as he waited for his order, Hermes shut his eyes and let his body relax. It was only for a minute. His schedule was getting busier by the minute, and spent all last night going from state to state. He earned this much. Granted, Gods didn't need as much sleep as mortals did, and could theoretically remain awake for greater lengths of times. Sometimes days, and possibly even weeks depending on the god. However, he was reaching his limit.

He just needed a moment to relax.

After a few minutes passed, Naruto finished the drink, capping the top with a plastic lid and adding a paper sleeve to the takeaway cup. "Alright, that's your drink. Give me a moment, and I'll bag up those lemon squares I promised."

...

"You alive back there?"

Zzzzzzzzzz

Stopping mid-step, Naruto glanced up from the drink, and his jaw dropped when he looked over at the table the mailman sat behind.

"You have to be kidding me!"

The Olympian had his face slumped against his arms, eyes covered by his forearm and mouth hanging wide open, causing loud snores and gargles to come out. A foot twitched against the leg of the chair, and his nose wrinkled. The blonde couldn't believe what he was seeing. Was this guy serious! He wasn't running a bed and breakfast!

Marching over, Naruto initially gave Hermes a subtle shake to jolt him into consciousness. He whispered for him to wake up, but Hermes merely turned his head. When that failed, he shook him harder, adding some extra force into the shakes. When that also failed, he started throttling the guy, shaking him like a rag doll.

"Wake up, damn it!"

Despite Naruto practically throwing the guy around back and forth in his seat, the guy wouldn't wake up as he slumped back down on the table. The guy must have been the heaviest sleeper he'd ever seen.

"How heavy of a sleeper is he!? This is ridiculous!"

He contemplated driving his fist into the back of his skull, reminiscent of Sakura waking him up during their Team Seven days. Though, he decided against it.

'It's not like this guy can't take the hit.' He thought, standing back up and narrowing his eyes at the sleeping Olympian. 'I wasn't sure at first, but his energy matches those three women. He hides it well, and you'd think he was just an ordinary mailman, but he isn't.' He acted normally around those women for the simple reason that they gave him no reason to be on guard with them.

The blonde shinobi didn't say anything, staring at Hermes as the man's face twitched in his sleep. A smirk grew on his face and started cracking his neck and knuckles. If the guy wanted to fall asleep and leave himself open in such a manner, then that was his business. He was the one who knocked on his door before he was open. He'd been lenient, and let the guy in, but now the mailman had the guts to fall asleep as he was about to send him off with free lemon squares?

This guy didn't know he was in the presence of Konoha's Prankster King.

Deep down in his heart, Naruto was still a prankster and always would be. Seeing a prime opportunity in front of him, he couldn't resist. It got him thinking. When was the last time he pulled a prank on someone? Surely it wasn't as long as he was picturing. Over a decade maybe?

Either way, he needed to shake the rust from his mind. He wasn't sure how long he had, but he wasn't going to let this chance slip his grasp.

"Buddy, you don't understand what kind of a mistake you've made."

Twenty minutes later, Naruto stifled a laugh as he looked at his handy work. With more time, he could have created something more elaborate, but sadly he had to make use of his more childish side. Gods, he felt like a teenager from the modern world, laughing at something so mundane and perfectly natural. Teenagers found the silliest of things funny these days, but once again, humour was one of the many things that changed over the years. It was all sex jokes and penis reverences these days. 'Oh well. At least, this will teach him.

Creating one more clone, he watched as the clone moved behind the sleeping god, crouched down and extended his index and middle finger until they were inches away from Hermes's derriere. As subtle nod from the original made the clone whisper, "Lightning Release: Two Finger Jolt."

The result was instant. One second, Hermes was peacefully sleeping away with his head in his arms, and the next, he was five feet in the air, his eyes wide as his hands fell to his bottom as a sharp pain radiated from his left cheek. The clone quickly disappeared as Hermes landed on his feet.

"Hey! You're Awake!" Hermes heard, turning around and facing the counter, where the original Naruto was waiting with a drink in one hand and a paper bag in the other. "You were really out of it. I tried to wake you, but you're one of the heaviest sleepers I've ever seen. I wondered if you died for a moment."

"Wha-, I-I fell asleep?" The god rubbed his eyes, blinking the sleep out of them. When his eyes landed on the clock behind the counter, he went as pale as a ghost, "W-Wait a minute! How long have I been asleep!?"

"About twenty minutes. Maybe twenty-five."

"Oh, no, no, no." Hermes ran a hand through his hair while the other grabbed his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled through his delivery list and felt his earlier stress return with a vengeance. There were half a dozen more orders, and they were all over the world! This was going to take him all morning and into the afternoon! "I'm so screwed."

As he headed for the door in a half jog, a cough caught his attention. Naruto stood looking at him with a knowing look, shaking the paper cup and bag at him. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh, right!" Running back and taking his order, Hermes placed some mortal money on the table for the drink before bolting and throwing the door open. "Thanks again!" As sudden as he appeared, the God of Messengers disappeared. As soon as the door shut behind him, the blonde ninja's calm facade broke and started to chuckle to himself.

'I wonder how long it will take for him to notice?' He thought. On his own once more, he clapped his hands together, "Alright. Let's get this place ready."

Olympus

'Okay. Something funny is going on here.' Hermes thought as he walked the cobbled streets of Mount Olympus.

Frowning, he watched as another pair of nymphs often found grazing around the foothills of Olympus sauntered off, erupting into a fit of giggles and hushed tones when they saw him. One by one, as the incidents grew, his paranoia started doing the same. Everyone he came across resulted in the same issue arising. It had been like that all day, and Hermes was beginning to think he was amiss on some kind joke floating around his immortal family. Every delivery stop since this morning, no matter who it was, would either start with them laughing at him or forcing themselves to look away as he handed them their delivery. Even George and Martha, whenever he was inside his chariot/truck, would look away from him.

He could have sworn he heard them laughing underneath their hisses.

Truth be told, he cared little about his companion's after his Spanish latte. He could still taste the delicious remnants of his drink on his lips. The Olympian almost crashed his chariot/truck when he brought it up to his mouth for the first. Not to mention, the lemon squares were heavenly that his eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. Oh, he understood the appeal after his cup was empty and his bag of lemon squares became substantially lighter. It was damn good.

No. It was better than good. It was amazing. It was no wonder his sisters and the Love Goddess were taken with the little cafe the way they were. He would be going back in the future, and this time at a reasonable time.

'It could be a good place to pick up beautiful women too!'

Desiring nothing more than the rest he'd deservedly earned, he headed in the direction of his temple, located on the eastern side of Olympus. As he closed in on his home, Hermes spied a cloaked figure coming from the opposite direction. His smile grew, as the scent of toasted marshmallows and wood smoke dance around his nose and grew stronger the closer the figure got. There was only one person on Olympus who carried that delicious scent.

"Aunt Hestia!"

Hestia, the eldest of the Gods and the firstborn child of Kronos and Rhea, was as every bit as beautiful as her two younger sisters, carrying the sweet demeanour that earned her the love and respect from every resident on Olympus. Truthfully, she was desired by many on Olympus, and history had shown the suitors that offered themselves to her beauty. However, all were turned away, as Hestia remained true to her vow. Woe to any man who dared force themselves upon the Goddess of the Hearth, and would find themselves sent into the eternal darkness within Tartarus.

"Hello, Her-." Her voice broke halfway through his name, her eyes marginally widening, "Oh dear."

"Huh?"

"Hermes, dear." His Aunt's face softened, though a hint of annoyance laced her voice, "Have you been spending time with Ares again? Or did you run into Enyo?"

He shook his head, "Not recently. I just got home from deliveries." He hadn't seen Ares all week. The God of War had disappeared off into the mortal world with Aphrodite again, likely on one of their so-called getaways, and the pair likely wouldn't be back for another week or so. Enyo, on the other hand, hadn't been seen in years. His wayward older sister didn't visit much, primarily due to the estrangement between her and her parents.

"I see." Hermes watched as a mirror was conjured in his aunt's hand, "Have you looked in the mirror recently?"

Shaking his head, his aunt held the mirror up to his face, and Hermes couldn't stop his jaw from dropping.

'What the hell!'

A chocked gasp erupted from his body and caught himself leaning closer to the mirror, his hand reaching up and touching his forehead.

"Aunt Hestia.."

"Yes, Hermes?"

...

"..Why is there a penis drawn on my face?"

His aunt's smile never faltered, "I don't know Hermes. I was hoping you would fill me in. I'm equally as confused as you are." Hermes got a sense his good-natured aunt was trying her best not to laugh at his current predicament. The way the edges of her mouth twitched and the way her idle hand tugged at the hems of her sleeves were a telltale sign. It wasn't hard for the Olympian to determine who defaced his face. There was only one moment in the day where he could say he was unaware of his surroundings.

How had he not noticed! It was over twelve hours later! He'd been walking around with a penis drawn on his face the whole day! It was no wonder people couldn't keep a straight face when they saw him. Even Hestia looked ready to bust a gut in hysterics.

...

"That asshole barista did this to me!" The image of Naruto appeared in his mind, and Hermes couldn't stop his eyes from blazing with godly energy. No wonder he seemed in such a good mood when he woke up!

His aunt's eyebrows raised, "Barista?"

He threw his hands in the air, "The one Aphrodite keeps talking about." He stomped away, snapping his fingers and making the ink-drawn penis disappear from his forehead. "If he thinks he got one over on me, then he's got another thing coming. Doesn't he know who I am!" Rubbing his hands like a Disney villain, a devious glint appeared in his eyes, "Oh! The payback that's coming his way will be legendary. I practically invented mischief and pranks!"

The smile never faltered from Hestia, "I'm sure dear. Though I'm sure he meant no harm, so please go easy on the mortal. Nothing life-threatening, please," she asked, with an edge of authority laced in her words. Granted, the mortal had been rather ballsy to do such a thing to her immortal nephew, but he didn't deserve to die over it. Thankfully, Hermes was one of the more laid-back Gods on Olympus. If such a thing happened to Ares, or gods forbid Zeus, then she doubted the mortal would last another second. He'd be reduced to ash before he could blink.

"I won't do anything rash, Aunt Hestia. I'm just going to one-up him. That's all. I'm not that petty."

"Thank you, Hermes." Watching him walk away, Hestia spied the clothes on his back, before letting out a giggle as she covered her mouth. It appeared the face sketch had not been the only gift Hermes received. On the back of Hermes mailman uniform, the barista also added some extra patchwork to his mailman uniform. In this case, in bright orange letters, the words, 'JUICY', in all capitals, were sewn across his back, with an arrow pointing down to hew nephews posterior.

"I wonder how long it will be before he notices?' Hestia muttered to herself, watching her nephew march away before continuing down the path, the odd giggle escaping her lips throughout the rest of her day.

Thanks for reading everyone.

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Once again, Happy New Year.