A/N: Send me some good vibes chicxs, every word has been hard to write but I wrote through my writer's block because a promise made is a promise kept. And yes, I did miss you. :)
Never Break (John Legend)
Santana's POV
Sinking.
Once all the excitement over Gia's arrival and the rush of family stopping in to check on me, the adrenaline left me and I broke.
Britt had left to go have dinner with the kids and get them settled in with Quinn before coming back to stay with me.
The moment she was gone, I sat looking at my phone. Britt had snapped a picture of me holding the little bundle of our lost little one.
We chose not to take any pictures of the baby since she hadn't lived long enough to fully form. We decided to have the memory of what we thought she'd look like.
I could still feel the way that her loss made my stomach numb.
How had Mami gone through this seven times before I was born?
I was broken after one.
Hey Mama, I heard the news, congrats on baby Gia. God spared her, don't sink-Mercy
Mercedes had sat with me through everything back in LA and checked in with me daily from the day I left.
Before that day, she and I were friends on a surface level built off of years of being in the same glee club. Quinn had always been the one who was close to her.
But after holding me through my first breakdown, we were like sisters.
And of anyone, she was the one that I wanted right then.
Too late, unfortunately.-Santana
Can I call you?-Mercy
Please?-Santana
My video pinged, and I opened it.
She wasn't smiling at me like everyone else had. Instead, her face was wrinkled up with worry.
"Where's Britt?"
"She um...went to get the kids settled."
"But she'll be back?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'll keep you company until then, okay?"
"Thank you."
"Who did your makeup?" She was examining my face, and I was actually able to smile.
"Quinn."
"Paying it forward, I did hers after Beth."
"I remember." I could tell that she was holding back, and that's not what we did. "Just ask me."
"Did you hold the baby?"
"Yeah. Then I um...sent her away."
"And Gia?"
"Yes, I don't have my milk yet, so I couldn't feed her, but I did have her on my chest for a while."
"How was that?"
"Hard. I mean, she's beautiful, Mercy. God, she's just this little piece of perfection, but when I look at her...I just...you know?"
"Right now, it's hard to imagine her without thinking of your loss, but it will get easier. The pain will always be there, but you'll learn to manage it."
"I feel so fucking sad, and I hate it."
"Do you need a meeting?"
"Probably, I know that I'm not getting through this without accountability."
"I'll be here however I can. When you're ready to record, I'll come to you... there are amazing studios there."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"I mean, focusing on my music is what got me in this mess. I'm done. I'll be 25 this year, and I think if it hasn't happened by now, then it won't. I mean, I'm Grammy-nominated, but nobody knows who I am."
"Beyoncé does."
"Okay, fair but, she knows a lot of nonfamous people."
"You're hurting, and that's a terrible time to make decisions. So I'm just going to put a pin in this conversation." I went to cut her off, but she held up her hand, "Can I pray for you?"
"Of course, Mercy."
I knew she didn't want to hear my truth, but someday she would.
My music career was over.
And that was final.
At first, I thought it was a coincidence that Mercedes seemed to reach out almost as soon as Britt left the night before, but the next morning, just after she left to make sure the kids got off to school okay, Ari and Gloria showed up.
I hadn't seen either of them in a while, so I knew that Britt was making sure that I wasn't alone.
But I was worried about her too, which is why I was making sure that there was someone to meet her at each destination.
If she noticed, though, she hadn't said anything.
"Do you mind grabbing those coffees, my love?" Gloria asked Ari, and she nodded but first dropped a kiss on my forehead and squeezed my hand.
Once I was alone with Gloria, she sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand.
"Hi." She looked solemn, just like the nun that she once was.
"Hi."
"I wanted to do a check-in...how are you?"
"I feel guilty. If I'm happy about Gia, I feel guilty...if I'm sad about what I lost, I feel guilty because I've got Gia."
"When did you decide to become God?" I went to yank my hand away, but she gripped it tighter. Her eyes were piercing.
How dare she say some shit like that.
"Excuse me?"
"You didn't lose your baby on purpose, did you?"
"No."
"Did you choose what baby would be born?"
"No."
"Do you feel any joy that your little one passed away?"
"No."
"Do you regret Gia's birth?"
"Absolutely not."
"Then, Santana, you are not God. You can't carry this weight. You can grieve the loss, but you can't take responsibility for things outside your control."
"Have you carried a child in your body, Gloria?"
"No." She flinched but, unlike me, held fast to my hand.
"Then you can't tell me what it is like to lose a child that you were carrying in your body. I live in guilt; I'm Catholic. It's my default, but when I became a mom and when I nearly killed my son, the guilt became a constant. I blame myself for Isaac's autism. I blame myself for not making sure his father lived. I blame myself for keeping a wall between Daniela and Marco, even though it's justified. I blame myself for not conceiving my first two children on purpose with the person I love. I blame myself for nearly killing Isaac again by soiling his favorite toy with drugs. I blame myself for his separation anxiety. I blame myself for Brittany's abuse because I need more in the bedroom. I blame myself for needing more in the bedroom because I whored myself out to half of New York. I blame myself for being selfish and not letting Britt be there before the loss. I blame myself for more than you can ever imagine. I need to do that because if I live in ignorance of all that I have done, I am doomed to repeat it."
"Blaming yourself and having self-actualization, meaning acknowledging what you've done and learning rather than punishing yourself, will give you more power over your next steps."
"How can I preserve my lost child...but still fully love the one who is left?"
"How much more do you love Isaac over Daniela?"
"I don't...I love them equally...immensely. I'd die for them."
"Then you need to choose to live for them as well. You can love your lost one just as much as you love Isaac, Daniela, and Gia."
"But I can't see her."
"You love God."
"Yes."
"Can you see God?"
"Yes, all around me. In people, in nature, and in those moments of triumph."
"Is that because you choose to see God?"
"Um...yes?"
"What I mean is that you can see her all around. In Gia, in Brittany, in that scar from her birth...and...soon enough in your request."
I hesitated because I had only told Quinn and Ari what I planned to do with the ashes, but in the same way that telling me shit means also telling B; telling Ari meant telling Gloria.
"Do you think it's morbid?"
"No. I think it's beautiful."
"Can we pray?"
"Yes."
Gloria pulled out her rosary and waited for me to pull mine over my head before kneeling at my bedside and praying with me.
Ari didn't come back until Britt did, and when they did, I was feeling lighter.
The guilt still existed, but it was just a little easier to carry.
Brittany's POV
I could see her fighting to be okay, and it was way better than I thought she'd be.
There was still a fight in her eyes, and each time someone prayed with her, she seemed a little stronger.
Which was why, after three days in the hospital, I felt ready, to be honest with her.
She was supposed to be discharged the next morning since they'd wanted to keep her to monitor her heart, so I decided to stay with her until it was time to leave.
Mercedes and Gloria had filled in her alone time for the first two days, but I knew that it had to be me on that third day.
I had to go off and process my own shit with my parents and my therapist before I could be her rock again.
Losing our baby had brought up all the old feelings from my abortion and even some from when she'd nearly lost Izzy.
Quinn had held me while I cried after Dani had asked me about seeing the baby we got to keep.
When I woke up on the third day, Ana was sitting up in bed staring out the window while glass rosary beads slid between her fingers. Her lips were moving, and her body was shaking.
It was something I hadn't seen in a while, but I had been expecting.
Cravings.
I ruffled my hair, grabbed my own rosary, and then climbed into the bed with her.
She didn't look at me, just moved over to make room for me while continuing her prayers.
I didn't bother saying anything, I just wrapped my arm around her and laid my head on her shoulder.
Her body seemed to relax soon after, and then the sound of her sobs came as the prayers ended.
I held her against me and kissed her face as many times as I could while she let it all out.
"She doesn't have a name." She finally said to me after we lay in the silence for a while.
"I call her Angel." I said as I rubbed her back. "It fits."
"Okay. Yeah, it does."
"Are you able to talk about some things, baby?"
"Okay." She whispered, before dropping little kisses on my collarbone. The feel of her lips made me shiver.
I missed us like that, just holding each other in the quiet moments.
"I think it's time to move."
"Move?" She pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Like back to Scarsdale?"
"No. I think, maybe we need to go home for a while."
"Home as in Lima?"
"Yes."
"But Isaac has school...and you have the studio."
"We can wait until the end of the school year, then go for the summer, and if we decide to come back we will move somewhere new with no memories."
"But the studio, B. We sunk a lot of money into that place."
"Well...I know...but...we got an offer. A really good offer and I think I want to sell my share."
Her eyes got big and I regretted bringing the studio up. I had wanted to wait until she was well enough to hear it but in the moment, I knew that I had to tell her everything.
She was my partner in all things.
"What kind of offer?"
"Four times what we paid, they are developing the whole area and we are the only ones who are holding out."
"Wait... the whole area, is Isaac's school included in that?"
"Yes, it's moving to Brooklyn."
"That's far."
"I know but most of the kids travel from Brooklyn, so they are moving into an old school building in Fort Greene."
"Okay, let's go home." She said, nodding to herself.
"Really?"
"Yes...I could use a break from this city."
"Awesome!"
"B?"
"Yeah?"
"There's something you should know too."
"Yeah?"
"I may not be able to do this again...I know I said that I wanted to but I don't think my soul can take another loss."
I pulled her into a tight hug. "Baby, I have all that I need in the four of you. We don't need to try again."
"Are you sure?"
"I don't want to lose you, Santana, you are the biggest part of me...without you, life would be gray and gross."
"You'd survive, Britt Britt."
"I don't want to think about that. If you're done, then so am I."
"Thanks, B."
By the time that we left the hospital after four days, Gia was small but mighty and able to come with us.
Ana looked super excited to be holding the car seat in her lap as I wheeled her to the exit.
"This is new for us." She said to the nurse.
"I thought she's your third."
"Yup, third but only to come home with me."
"That's exciting."
"Right!" She said, never taking her eyes off of Gia as she spoke. "This kid is a miracle, just like me." She murmured.
When we got off at the main floor, I wheeled us towards the last person that she expected.
She looked at me with her brows high.
"What's he doing here?"
"The trade-off for him being our donor is that he'd like to be able to see her from time to time, always supervised of course." I admitted and waited for her to scowl but instead, she shrugged and looked back at Marco.
"Fair enough."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
When we got closer, I could see the bloodshot eyes behind his smile.
He'd taken the loss of our Angel hard...which was really the reason that I told him to pick us up.
Even though he wouldn't be a dad to any of our kids, he had helped us expand our family, so I could let him have this moment.
And even though I had told him it was fine, he looked my wife in the eyes and crouched down to get eye level with her, acting like the man he should have been instead of breaking her in the first place.
How can I both hate and appreciate a person at the same time?
I looked at our little miracle and knew that I could do both.
He'd helped her come into this world but he'd also created a trench of bullshit that my wife still had to work through.
"Is this okay, Anita?" He asked, "I know how you feel about me being around your family."
"It's fine, Moncho."
That was new.
Only Ari really called him that.
"Okay, do you need help getting up?"
She shook her head. "That's what Britt's for. Stay in your lane, Viejo."
For almost a year, they'd been spending time alone more than I would like, and I could see it at that moment just how easy it would be for them to fall back into each other's beds.
Not from love or anything, but because of comfort.
And I was never more sure that we needed to get the fuck out of New York as soon as possible.
Santana's POV
It was like Gia knew that things were delicate because unless she was hungry or wet, she didn't cry.
She seemed content to just be in mine or Britt's arms, which I hoped would last until I was ready to fully be the mom I wanted to be.
After my talks with Mercy and Gloria, I had gone right back to seeing Amy, who thankfully was comfortable making house calls.
She had convinced me to give myself permission to lean on my village, which I had stopped doing at some point.
When my in-laws showed up to help with the kids, I didn't put up a fuss, I just prepared the loft for them.
Britt was working overtime with the kids, doing everything for them while I focused on Gia but I could see that she needed to switch, so I got up two days after getting home and banged on Quinn's door after Britt left with the kids.
"What?!"
"Isaac's birthday is in four days."
"I know."
"And I don't have a gift for him."
"Yes, you do. You bought gifts for both of them, a few weeks ago."
"I did?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Well, I know for a fact that there's no plan for his actual day, and as his godmother, you should be helping me."
"That's not a problem. Is that all? Where's the baby?"
"Sleeping in her swing, I called you but it went straight to voicemail. You're being weird."
"I know, I'm busy, and I'm not being weird."
And that's when I noticed the sweat on her face and the way her shirt was backward and inside out.
"Did I interrupt something?"
And then her face got pink, but there was a look in her eyes that told me that she'd fucked up.
"No."
She and Ceily had put off the wedding twice, each time giving me a vague reason.
Then there was the fact that my sister had been out of town for nearly two months visiting her mom in Texas.
"Is my sister back?"
"Can we talk about this later?"
"No. I need you to tell me what the fuck you're up to, Q...I know I've been checked out for a few months but you're still my best friend."
"Please, San...just...put the kettle on and I'll come over so we can plan Izzy's birthday."
"Okay. Five minutes."
"Yup, five minutes."
I nodded and was about to turn around when I heard a voice that was NOT my sister's.
"Is she gone?"
And that's when I forgot that I wasn't as young or fast as I used to be. I stuck my foot in the doorway just as Quinn was trying to slam the door closed.
I heard the crunch and yelped as I yanked it back.
But it was too late, I knew a broken bone when I felt it.
"Shit! San, why the fuck did you put your foot in the door!" Q yelled at me.
And then I saw her, popping out in my sister's robe.
Rachel fucking Berry.
"How could you do this to my sister?" I said, glaring at Quinn.
"I can explain."
I was in pain but my anger wouldn't let me feel it fully. "There's still a rock on your finger, which means it's not over. Right? Nod if you agree."
Quinn nodded, and I tried to storm away but the pain hit me like fucking train.
And Q, being the person she was, picked me up in her arms bringing me closer to her sweaty, sex-smelling body.
What the fuck?
I sat in my living room feeding Gia with my foot wrapped and elevated on pillows while I waited for Britt to come home.
Quinn had wanted to take me to the hospital but once I was settled I told her to get the fuck out or I'd call my sister.
Gia was the only thing keeping me calm while I thought through all the signs.
Rachel's insistence on fighting with Q.
The way that Quinn seemed more interested in running the gallery in Brooklyn than going to med school...she said because Beth lived a few blocks away and she got to see her still but now I understood.
Britt came into the apartment with Quinn on her heels.
"Get out!" I whisper yelled just as Britt was seeing me.
"What happened?"
"Quinn broke my foot." I said, glaring at Q.
Britt turned on Q, "Why did you hurt her? Hasn't she been through enough?"
"She was banging on my door, then she saw something she shouldn't have and tried to push into the apartment as I was closing the door. It was an accident."
"What did you do, Q?" Britt was glaring now, which was never good.
"That's not important. What's important is that she get to the doctor before she has complications. I can watch Gia."
"I think the fuck not!" I said as I smiled at my baby girl. "I want you out."
"Fine, I'll leave."
"No, I want you out of my fucking building Lucy." I said, still smiling at my daughter.
"That's not your decision, it's Ceily's. Please don't say anything...I don't want to hurt her. I do love her, San."
"If you loved her, you wouldn't have cheated on her for a second time...especially with Berry."
Britt's jaw dropped.
"That's gross, Quinn."
"Another for your punch card, huh?" I asked and Quinn looked confused.
"I mean, you're fucking the whole new directions, so you must be trying to win something."
"You're one to talk, Santana."
"Am I?"
"What's your body count, San...it's in the thousands right?"
I felt a cold rage, and Gia must have felt it because she began to whimper.
"Okay, that's enough, you need to go right now." Britt said, sounding eerily calm.
Brittany's POV
The days of Ana getting wrapped up in drama were supposed to be over.
All she needed to do was recover from birth and take care of Gia when I couldn't.
But instead, I held our baby girl while she got a cast.
"Why are you mad at me like I made them fuck?" She asked me in front of the doctor, the curse word sounding harsh from her lips.
"I'm not mad at you." I lied.
"You are."
"Why did you go over there?"
"I wanted to plan a party for Isaac."
"If you had asked me, you would know that I have that handled."
"Then Q should have said that."
"She wasn't invited."
"Wait, why not?"
"Because I knew, okay. She's been messing around for a few months, I caught them making out when she was supposed to be watching the kids."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, so I told her that she needed to back off for a while."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you haven't been yourself, Ana. Not for a long time, the last thing you needed was that drama."
"Is this why you want to leave the city?"
"It's part of it. I'm tired of everyone, I just want us to be a happy family off somewhere without the drama...don't you?"
She looked at the cast and then back at me with haunted eyes.
"Yes."
"I think we should go stay with my parents, I'll worry about getting the kids to school and you can relax in Scarsdale in your own space."
"What about the stairs, B?"
"We'll manage. Trust me on this it will be better for everyone if we aren't there when this blows up in Quinn's face." I'd been holding onto Quinn's affair for longer than I would have liked, and was happy to finally be done with it.
"I'm sorry...I should have been home with Gia. I didn't think it was a big deal, but I know that it is."
"You've done this before."
"I know."
"When you were doing drugs." I stressed to her because I wanted her to know that I knew the signs...and I didn't want her going down that path again.
"I know."
"So we can leave from here and go to Scarsdale."
"What about packing up stuff for the kids, and getting Snix?"
"I'll do that, I think going from here to Scarsdale would be the best thing. I ask Mari to pick up Izzy, we can go get Dani now."
She wanted to fight me on making a decision for her, but she just nodded her head, falling back into letting me lead like I used to.
Old habits die hard, I guess.
It'd been almost two years since we'd lived in Scarsdale, and in that time my parents had made the house theirs.
All of Ana's clean lines were gone, instead there was stuff everywhere.
At least Mom kept it clean.
My parents had become grandparents to all of Sandra's kids since she lived only a mile away from them, so they had stuff at the house and even had keys.
When Dad told me that, I decided that moving into the guest house would be better.
It was a little three-bedroom cottage that was meant to be an in-law suite, but it was perfect for us.
Only, I hadn't told my wife, instead, I had been getting it ready for us just in case Ana decided not to move to Lima.
With my wife, I knew that I needed to always have a plan B.
So, when we pulled past the main house and wrapped back around the house, and stopped in front of the cottage, I looked over at my wife and she looked so confused.
"How long have you been planning this?" She asked, her voice colder than it should be.
"Since you came back from LA." I admitted and she huffed.
"Be careful what you wish for, B."
I cradled Gia in my arms as I moved around the cab to pull her door open.
She looked like she wanted to set the world on fire because she couldn't storm away with that big boot on, she had no choice but to wait for me.
"You're going to like being here, baby. I don't like how we've grown away from the family. What happened to Sunday dinners?"
"You."
"Me?"
"When you moved us to LA, everything changed, and coming back here wasn't the same. Then Mami died, and so did family functions."
"Let's make a deal." I said, and she groaned.
"Can I have her please?" She asked me once she was steady on her feet.
I handed off Gia and she seemed to soften.
"If you are happy here, we can maybe stay in New York, just not in the city."
She rolled her eyes. "No."
"Wait, no?"
"Don't put this on me, if you want to live near your parents, just say so. Don't make it my decision...you have parents, I don't. Why not live near them, right?"
There was a tremble in her voice, then tears made her eyes glassy.
"Hey, that's not what this is about."
She shoved money at the cab driver who was lingering behind us, and waited for him to pull off before she made a sad attempt to storm towards the cottage.
I caught up with her in two big steps, and she groaned again. "I need you to leave me alone, B. Just for a little while, okay?"
"So you can cry and be sad by yourself?"
She looked at me, tilted her head, and gave me a sad little smile. "Yes."
"At least let me take Gia, I can feed her and change her."
She'd been attached to the baby, not wanting to let her go for more than a few minutes, which is why I was so surprised that she left her alone to go to Quinn.
"One hour, B. I still need accountability, even though I'm sure there's no bad stuff here...I just need you to come back in an hour...promise me."
Seeing her take charge of her own mental health made me love her a million times more. I leaned in and kissed her before setting my watch. "One hour."
I waited while she kissed Gia's face a bunch, smelled her head, and then handed her back to me.
Definite progress.
TWO MONTHS LATER
LIMA, OHIO
JUNE
Santana's POV
"That's it, Papa!" I screamed from the sidelines as Isaac kicked a ball downfield way faster than I could have ever imagined an asthmatic kid could. He was grinning as he kicked and the ball soared past the goalie. "Goaaaaaaaaaaal!" I screamed and he pumped his fist.
"He's amazing, just like Ian." Tori said as she opened up a container of orange slices for all the kids. "He was always a natural at whatever sport he played."
"I never thought he'd be into this but he's so good." I said as the kids made their way to the sideline for a snack. "I wish Britt could be here for this."
"How's that going?"
"What, you mean my wife dropping me off in Lima and then suddenly going off on a month-long tour with a Broadway show?"
"Yeah, that."
"Fantastic. You know, just as good as any mom would be when one of her kids is God knows where."
"She took Dani to give you a break, you said that you didn't mind." Tori said, before shoving an orange peel in her mouth and pretending to be a monster, the kids all laughed but Isaac moved away from her. He was still weird around Tori because she attached herself too fast. It took him time to deal with new people and knowing she was his Papa's sister didn't help. It only made him ask a million questions. Like how I got with him...and when we fell out of love. Then my six-year-old asked me about suicide.
Not an easy conversation.
"Mami?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Can we get Breadsticks after this?"
"Of course, Papa...even if you guys lose, I'll take the whole team."
He turned to two of his friends and mumbled to them, then they cheered.
"Thanks, Mrs. Lopez!" They said, and then went to spread the news.
"Seriously, Santana?" Azimio called from downfield. "We talked about bribing the kids."
"Sorry coach." I called over to him and he rolled his eyes, then walked away in his hot pink shirt that was sporting logos from the Rage Cage and Lima Bean.
"You're not sorry." Isaac said.
"Nope."
The whistle blew.
"Okay, Mami, time to kick some ass." He said, and Tori choked on her orange.
"Hey now, Papa, remember that's only field talk...and not to your Mami."
"Right, sorry." Then he winked and ran onto the field.
"He's like your clone." Tori said after I slapped her back a few times.
"Damn straight!"
We won because of course we did. Incentive is always a must for kids, duh.
Being back in Lima after being a big city woman for a few years was definitely a change.
It was one thing when it was a few weeks here and there over the years, but I wasn't headed to another destination in a few weeks, I was officially home.
Just three weeks into being back, I had Isaac in activities, and Gia was spending quality time with Celia and Quincy back at the house.
Having my sister and nephew with me had been a great substitute for Brittany being gone, even if them being with me meant that Quinn was alone again.
In trying to fuck her way to being closer to Beth, she'd lost Celia and Quincy, but instead of trying to fix it she packed her shit and left.
We weren't talking and from what I had heard, Rachel had happily gone back to her show on off-Broadway and was still shacking up with Puck and their kids.
Even though she hated me for telling my sister the truth when she refused to, I still worried about Q.
She was a part of me, and being home walking the streets we used to walk and seeing the Cheerios practicing in those same uniforms, made me miss her even more.
"Earth to Snix." A hand waved in front of my face and then Mercy was sliding into a seat across from me. "My husband is not happy about you bribing the kids."
"Tough shit."
"Language."
"Look, just because we are back in town doesn't mean you can go back to bossing me around, Aretha."
"Please, like you even listened to people bossing you around."
"I did."
"Only if they were a blonde cheerleader."
I smirked because she was definitely right about that. "Touché."
"Thanks for suggesting this break, Santana. Being back here for a few months is definitely what I need to get through this pregnancy. LA is "
"You say that now, wait until that baby makes you feel like you're a furnace."
"Exactly, an Ohio summer won't be as bad as a southern California one."
"True, now eat. My God baby needs to get acquainted with the sticks as soon as possible."
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I knew immediately who it was.
I opened the video to see my wife's beautiful face.
"Hey, you."
"I thought you were mad at her?" Tori said from halfway down the table.
"Mind your business, kid." I said, before leaving the table.
"You're mad at me?" Britt was pouting.
"No, B...you and me are good, I was being sarcastic. I told you, take this time and enjoy the fuck out of it. I'll be here waiting when you get back."
"Just two more weeks and I'll be there to cuddle you."
"Can't wait."
"How did the game go?"
"It was a blowout, and our little Rockstar scored four goals."
"Four?!" Daniela shrieked from off camera and then I heard shuffling, then the phone was on the move.
"Hey, Beba!" I loved seeing her smiling face, way better than the brooding little brat she was becoming.
"He scored four goals?"
"Yup."
"Can I talk to him?"
"He's eating right now, but we'll call tonight."
"Mama said we can't, that we can only call now." Daniela whined.
"Oh...okay, hold on."
I tried to push away the disappointment of losing my talk time with B, but just before I handed off the phone Britt texted me.
No worries, we can still have our wanky time tonight after the kids are asleep. ;)-B
I grinned and deleted that text because Isaac could absolutely read.
"Thanks, Britt Britt!" I called out and then handed the phone to Isaac who immediately launched into his victory story.
I had my doubts about this move, and about Britt leaving for a month with our daughter.
But as I stood there in the same place where six years before I'd been limping through my senior luncheon, I knew that we were FINALLY getting to that happy place.
It just took us both getting over ourselves.
And true to her word, after I got the kids down, and she settled Daniela in to bed, she locked herself in the bathroom and talked me through an amazing orgasm.
"I miss you, Britt Britt."
"I miss you too."
"My body is craving you."
"As long as that's all you're craving." She teased but I could see the truth behind her smile.
"Para siempre."
"Did you go to a meeting today?"
"Yup, Walker hasn't let me skip a single one. It's been good to get back into a routine with her."
"So, you're happy there?"
"Of course."
"Good."
"But I could be happier."
"Yeah?" Britt was getting distracted, as her breathing picked up.
"Wait...are you actually turned on I wasn't even being sexy."
"Knowing you're happy...and hearing you be so good...it gets me going."
"That's so...interesting."
"What are you going to do for me when I get home?"
"Uh...I don't know." I said, feeling put on the spot.
"Will you sing for me...while you play the piano?"
"If you want."
"Do you remember that time I fucked you like that?"
"God, yes, it was amazing."
"I want that again...let's sneak into McKinley when I get back."
"Wait, you want to...in the old classroom? Isn't that kind of skeevy?"
"Don't ruin it...just tell me we can."
"OH...um...sure Daddy, you can take me anywhere, anytime."
She groaned and then I listened as she whimpered her way through an orgasm which was like an anomaly after her surgery.
But absence obviously had made her yearn for me.
"I'm coming home as soon as they don't need me anymore." She finally said.
"Good."
There was a shuffling and then talking in the back.
"Gotta go, Dani has to pee. Get some rest. I love you!"
"I love you too, B. Same time tomorrow?"
"Say less, baby."