Hold on (Adele)

Santana's POV

"This house has so much history, baby. Some good, some bad...your Abuelo would have loved to tell you all about it. Well, maybe not all. I'm going to shield you and your siblings from as much of my past as I can." I whispered to my milk-drunk baby girl, who gripped my boob like it was her lifeline. Her eyes were squeezed shut tight while she nursed in the middle of the night.

Celia and the kids were upstairs passed out, but I was wandering the dark house, letting the ghosts of my memories haunt me.

I passed Papi's study and thought of the many times I spent beaten and bruised...then I thought of my first wedding.

And then the reading of his will.

It'd been all in a matter of months, a million years before, but the pain of it all still ached.

"I miss your Mama. She was supposed to be here last week, but here I am...still alone." I whispered into the darkness.

"San?" I stopped short of the den when I heard a voice that should NOT be in the house.

"Tell me that I'm hearing things." I muttered as I searched for the light switch.

But I didn't hear things.

Q sat there looking like shit, with wet cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

"I just got in, and I didn't have anywhere to go; I was planning to be out of the house by the time anyone woke up."

"Why are you here?"

"What do you mean? I couldn't miss yours or Quincy's birthdays."

"His birthday was a week ago."

"I know. Ceily didn't tell me where she was; I had to practically beg Damariz to tell me."

"How did you manage that?"

"I appealed to her as a mother."

Gia stopped sucking, so I lifted her to my shoulder and began to pat her back as I paced the den.

"If you needed money, you could have asked."

"I don't."

"No? Did you get a job?"

"No. I'm starting med school in another month. I have a stipend to hold me over until then."

"Where?"

She gave a sad little smile. "Yale."

"I should have guessed."

"It's always been my dream, Santana. I only went to Columbia because you asked me to, but you left me to go it alone."

I raised an eyebrow because she knew I'd tried, and Dr. Cray had basically run me out of there.

"Look, Q, you can stay tonight. Then maybe it would be best to stay in our empty unit at the apartments. The new tenants aren't moving in until August 1st."

"Thanks, San. I owe you. I hate that we are broken after everything we've been through. Losing you hurts the most. How can I fix us?"

"Just be better, Q. I know that's almost laughable coming from me. Still, as someone who has fucked up a lot, at some point, you need to get out of your own way and maybe the person on the inside that you always are trying to project on the outside. You can't keep doing shit like this."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do. Celia...she's...IT for me. I love her with everything I have, but...I don't know; I just panicked. Every time things get too good, I feel like it's going to go to shit, so I just push it to the breaking point."

"That just sounds like an excuse."

"It only happened once."

"That's not what Britt says."

And she nodded and did that whole look away teary-eyed and look back at me thing she's always done to garner sympathy.

"It was only with her." She corrected.

"It shouldn't have been anyone, especially not with the Hobbit. My sister has told you repeatedly that she doesn't want to play games. She wants a real relationship, and you keep lying to her. You lied to me."

"There's no excuse. I know she's done with me; I would be too. I didn't feel anything for Rachel; she was just a warm body. You know how that is."

"I don't. Not in a long time. After I got that high body count, you know the one?" I teased, and she looked ashamed. Good, because words fucking hurt. "Even though for me, my body count doesn't count rape. Thanks for bringing up old wounds, by the way."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Yeah, whether I like it or not, it's the truth; I have slept with way too many people. When I did it, though, it was for two reasons, if I didn't, I would get beat, and because I needed drugs...you don't have those circumstances."

"I know."

"We are getting too old for this shit, Q. That warm body nonsense we used to say, it's time to grow from that."

"Who are you right now?"

I lifted, adjusted my sleeping baby, and then sat down on the edge of the couch; I took a moment to look Q over, and then I just hit her with the truth.

"It took me years, but I'm finally the person I could have been if I had been raised with caring, attentive parents or never met Marco. I'm a work in progress, and I'm doing all that I can to be worthy of that little girl who sat in this very room, in a dark house crying as she played her piano. That little girl who felt so alone and unloved until she met Ari and you."

"I miss her...the little girl I was."

"Racist?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't racist; you were just my first brown friend. That was not my doing."

"What did you long for, Q?"

"Peace. I just wanted to live with no drama in a happy home. I wanted to laugh without being told to keep it down; I wanted to feel love."

"Have you felt that as an adult?"

"Yes. Once. With Celia, when she's painting or just laughing with Quincy, I just stand there in awe of how simple it is to be happy."

I kissed Quinn's cheek and left her with that thought.

Whether she fixed things with Celia or not, I just wanted them both to be happy.

"Mami? Wake up! Mami!" Isaac was shaking me and yelling in my face; I jerked awake and saw blood on his face.

"Oh God, are you okay?" I was searching his face, but he wasn't cut.

"Mami, come quick." He said, tears filling his eyes.

I peaked in on the baby; somehow, she slept through Isaac's outburst.

And somehow, I slept through the commotion in my house.

Isaac pulled me towards the stairs and pointed down.

All the lights were on, and I could hear multiple voices.

"Izzy, grab my robe." I murmured.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You called me Izzy." He said, and I shooed him away.

While he got my robe, I brushed through my hair with my fingers and twisted it into a top knot.

"Can I come with you?"

"Okay, but you do as I say."

I felt anxious. I had no idea what the fuck was going on, but whatever it was, my son had already seen it.

He held my hand tight as we walked down the steps, the voices getting louder.

Then I saw what Isaac must have seen, Quinn standing at the kitchen island with blood on her face and hands.

"What happened?" I asked her, and she just looked from me to Isaac and back again.

"You need to take him back upstairs...I don't want him to see her like this." Q said, her eyes looking haunted.

"What the fuck happened?!" I asked again.

"Celia...she saved my life." She said, and I could feel the same feelings of losing a sister creep back in. "She's getting checked out; Felo got the guy."

I was so confused; all I wanted was B to smooth the rough edges of what was going on. Quinn wasn't always right, but she was rarely wrong when it came to the kids.

"Papa, go upstairs and stay with Gia; you can sleep in my bed."

"Okay."

"Wait...Q, hand me a wet paper towel." She looked at Isaac again and then down at her hands.

"Sorry...he hugged me, and I must have touched his face."

She washed her hands and then got on her knees in front of Isaac and took her time whispering to him and wiping his face.

Which gave me the chance to look at her better; she was bleeding along her hairline, was starting to get a bruise by her ear.

I looked around and could see the kitchen door was open; it looked like it had been kicked down.

There was broken glass on the floor and blood on the counters.

Quinn took Isaac to the stairs and waited for him to go up before turning back to me.

"I'm sorry, I must have tipped someone off that you were here."

"I don't understand."

The paramedics came out of the den with an empty stretcher, and Celia was walking behind them, looking way worse than Quinn.

Then our eyes met. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What the fuck happened?"

"Came downstairs to get water, ran into Quinn. We were talking, and some pendejo kicked in the door, looked down at his phone, and then pointed a gun at me. He called me Santi...said someone had a message for me. Quinn jumped in front of me, and he hit her with the gun; she was able to get it out of his hands, but then he attacked me."

"Shit. You should be on your way to the hospital; both of you should."

"Seriously, sis, I tell you someone basically has a hit out on you, and you are concerned with my booboos?"

"This isn't the first time someone has wanted to kill me, and it won't be the last I'm willing to bet."

"We can't stay here." Quinn said.

"You can leave. I'm not going anywhere; this house can be a fortress when it needs to be."

Celia pointed to the kitchen door, "Obviously not."

Even though the paramedics had cleared her (according to her), I still watched my sister as I cleaned up Quinn's face.

"Who knew those first aid days at camp would come in handy." I murmured while Quinn bit her lip, and Celia stared off into space.

I got no response.

"Mami?" I turned to see my son standing there looking distraught. "I peed."

I was about to talk, but Quinn pulled away from me and got down on the floor with him again. "Come here, Izzy." He approached her with caution, and then he glanced over at Celia and slammed his eyes shut. "Hey, she's okay. Come here, please?"

Isaac opened his eyes and walked towards Quinn until he was standing in front of his Dama with wet cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dama. I...uh...watched the baby. I didn't want to leave her. I'm sorry."

"Nobody blames you, Izzy. It happens. When I was pregnant with Quincy, I peed all the time when I sneezed and laughed."

"Yeah?"

"Yup."

"He's still sleeping."

"You checked on him too?"

"Yes, I'm the big cousin. I need to look after them." He said, puffing out his chest.

"Thank you, Izzy." Celia said, and then Quinn kissed his cheek.

"You're a good boy, Izzy. Let's get you cleaned up."

"But I'm not done with your face." I called after her, but she ignored me and took Isaac back upstairs.

"I think she wanted to get away from me. I don't blame her, honestly."

"What's that mean?"

"I've moved on. She was asking for a second chance, but I couldn't honestly give that to her. You know?"

"Who are you moving on with?" I rounded on Celia because she was wallowing in her sweats each day when I came home and not even painting.

"Doesn't matter."

"It does to me. There are like 2.5 open lesbians in this town, and you're looking at one of them. Who are you fucking?"

"Sheesh. It's not that deep."

"It is. If you tell me that you're hooking up with Walker-"

"You'll what?" Celia stared at me with a red face and flared nostrils.

"Please don't. Okay. I have burned a lot of bridges in my life, Ceily. I have like five friends, and you have already messed up the one with Quinn. Walker is my sober buddy, don't fuck that up for me."

"Whoops. Too late?" She shrugged.

"You know, it would be nothing for me to kick your ass right now. No one would believe that I did, given that you already look like shit but hey, why not get a few blows in while I can."

"Try it, Santana." She said, her face looking more like Papi's than anyone of my sister's ever had. I took a step back, and she nodded with a smirk. "That's what I thought. I am not fucking Walker. She's been my wingman. That's it."

She thought it was funny and laughed in my face, but the rage was bubbling in my chest.

"I hate you."

"You don't."

"I'm going back to bed. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Actually...I um...think I should-" And then she fell forward, her eyes rolling up as she passed out, and her heavy ass body took me down with her.

Great!

It'd been 2 hours since the paramedics came back to the house to take Celia and Quinn to the hospital.

There'd been no calls, no follow-up, just busy signals and I was feeling stir crazy.

"Titi?" I turned from my front window, where I'd been staring blankly out at the driveway for a little too long, to look back at the freckle-faced toddler in my doorway.

"Hey, little Q!" I scooped him up and peppered his face with kisses. "I bet you're looking for Mami, huh?"

"Si, Titi. Where is she?"

"Mama and Mami are at the doctor."

"Mama? Here?"

"Yes."

Quincy's whole face lit up, and I kissed his cheeks again.

"Eat?"

I had no interest in cooking after the night I'd had, but the familiar itch in my palms made me want to leave the house and everything to go to a meeting.

"Waffles?" I asked him, and he nodded. "Okay, go wake up Isaac." He ran the moment I put him back down, and I was able to breathe for just a moment.

The shake was there...and the itch...the thirst.

My cravings had never really left me, but when I was stressed they came roaring back, especially when I stood in a room where I had gotten high a million times.

B? Respond, please?-Ana

Walker, you around?-Santana

My phone rang immediately.

"Hey, I just heard about your sister. I was on my way to you." Walker's voice came through clear and confident.

"From who? I haven't heard a thing! I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"A doctor friend who was at the Bean. You sound off, need a meeting?

"I have all the kids. I can't just leave them."

"You don't have to. I'll bring food and stay with you for however long you need."

"Thank you! If you could take your time but hurry up, that would be great."

"You don't have anything close by do you?"

"I'm a multimillionaire who knows just about everyone in this town, which means I can always have it close by."

"Santana?"

"No, I don't. Not in the house or on the grounds. I could make a call though."

"I'll stay on the phone then."

My phone beeped, and I saw my wife's beautiful picture come up.

"Actually, B is calling me. Just bring waffles and coffee."

"You got it. If you need to make another call, call me first."

"Okay."

Brittany's POV

I was already on my way home, with Dani asleep in the back seat, when I got the call from New York.

"Brittany Lopez?"

"Speaking, who's this?"

"This is Dr. Cross at New York Pres. You are listed as the emergency contact for Marco Vega."

"Wait, I am?"

"Is that incorrect?"

"I'm just surprised. What's going on?"

"Mr. Vega is in critical condition after an attempted robbery. He'll need surgery, and someone will need to pick up Nikolai."

"Oh, wow. I'm in Ohio. I'm not sure how quickly I can get there. Can I send someone to pick him up? She's a doctor there, Damariz Lopez, my sister-in-law."

"Yes, I know Dr. Lopez."

"I'll call her. Do you need anything else?"

"Can you be available to confirm any next steps?"

"Absolutely."

"Great. I'll be in touch."

I ended the call as I pulled into the first rest stop I could find.

Dani played drums on her tablet with her giant pink headphones on, but she looked up when we stopped.

She looked around confused then back at me. "Is Mami here?"

"No, I need to make a call, can you play your drums while I do that?"

"Okay, Mama. We are still going to see Mami, Izzy, and Gia, right?"

"Yes, we should be there in one hour."

"Okay."

Once I was sure Dani was good, I called Mari, who was at Sandra's but immediately agreed to check on Marco and pick up Nikolai.

While I was on the phone, I got a text from Ana that made me so nervous that I had to take a moment to pray before I called her back.

And when I did, I could hear the shake in her voice.

"Hey, B. I'm so glad you had a minute to call me. How are you? How's Beba?"

"We're okay. Are you?"

"No. Some stuff went down last night, B. The kids are okay...I'm still sober. I just really need you to come home already."

She was near tears.

This tour was supposed to be quick but it hadn't been, I thought it was all good.

"I was trying to surprise you. I'm on my way. I pulled over at a rest stop, I should be there in an hour."

"Seriously? B...that's...God, that's the best news."

"Good. I don't know what's going on there, but you won't have to go through stuff alone. Okay?"

She was mumbling to someone, and then she sighed before talking again. "Walker's here. She brought breakfast. She's going to stay here until you get here."

"Oh good! That's even better, baby. I'm going to get back on the road, I'll see you in a bit."

"I love you, Britt Britt."

"I love you too!"

"Oh, and don't worry, I'll let Isaac be surprised. Hurry home, but be safe. okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"Always and only you, Brittany." She said in a rush before the call ended.

Yeah, I needed to get my ass home.

If she was calling on old things and saying my full name, she was closer to the brink than she'd been in years.

"You okay, Mama?"

Dani asked me after we'd been back on the road for a half-hour.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, Dani." I cleared my throat and smiled back at her through the mirror but she had her arms crossed over her chest and was raising an eyebrow.

And for just a moment, I felt like I could breathe again.

"You're crying. I can see you."

"I'm just...excited to see Mami."

"You dance when you're excited."

"Mami wasn't feeling good. I just got worried."

"Is she in the hospital?" She asked, sounding scared.

"No. I think she just had a nightmare, that's all."

"Oh, okay, you just give her a superkiss when we get there. You make it all better."

"That's a great idea!"

"I know."

"You know what would be even better?"

"Hmm?" She was distracted again, just like she always was when she was staring at her tablet. Ana's schedule for screens had gone out the window while we were gone, and I was hoping Dani would fall back in line without a fight.

But who was I kidding?

Dani was more stubborn than anyone in our whole family...including Ana.

"If you gave her a superkiss too."

"Yeah, maybe. Okay, Mama, you drive and I will play."

"Did you just unlock a new level?"

"Mmhmm."

"Enjoy it while you can, kiddo. Mami is probably going to put you back on a schedule."

"I know, so shhh, gotta beat this." She muttered, and then her headphones were back on.

She was a completely different kid these days. Hopefully, that was a good thing.

Ana needed all the happiness that I could give her and the support.

Santana's POV

The kids were taking a nap and Walker was on the phone with Charlie, who was away at Baylor.

So I slid on my sneakers and slipped out of the house as fast as I could.

I just needed air.

At least that's what I told myself.

Left out the house was town, right was Lima Heights.

Business one way, pleasure the other.

I clenched my shaking hands and stared out at the street, trying to decide if I was really willing to throw everything away.

"God, please, just this once can you not let me carry the weight. I'm so tired. Please?" I whispered.

I wiped away fresh tears as a car turned into the driveway, stopping just after turning.

The driver's door flew open and Britt was holding her arms open.

And God, I flew into her arms, nearly knocking her over and everything went still.

The tremors, the thoughts, and the fear...it all quieted and all I could feel was her body shaking against mine.

I pulled back, and then she kissed my forehead, chin, cheeks, and nose before finally kissing my lips.

A superkiss.

How long had it been?

She tasted like cherries, and her body felt impossible harder. She'd been working out.

Her hands cupped my ass for a moment before she brought them to my face and kissed me again.

"Are you done being gross?" I looked down at our sides and there stood my mini-me, with ripped jean shorts and a tank top that said I'M THE BOSS.

"Hey, Beba!" I didn't want to let B go, but she kissed me once more and then pulled away.

"I'm going to park normally, you catch up with her...we have time."

Britt walked away with a wink and a pat on my ass and left me with a younger version of myself.

"Mami, are you sick?"

"Uh...no."

"So you're not ca-ca-geous?"

"You mean, contagious?"

"Yes! That."

"No, I'm not."

"Okay, up, please?"

I lifted her up into my arms, and she repeated Britt's actions giving me a super raspberry kiss, as Isaac liked to call them.

A kiss on the forehead, a bop on the nose, and two very loud raspberry kisses on the cheeks.

And like clockwork, I broke into giggles, my past worries forgotten.

"I missed you so much, Beba-licious."

"I missed you too, Mami. How's my cat?"

"Um...okay, I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I don't have her."

"What?! Is she dead?"

"No...no. She's at the Bean, we had a mouse, and she's handling it."

"Eww."

"I know. Don't worry, I'll take you to see her later."

"Good. Okay, down please, I need to see our baby."

"Oh, yes, of course...and your brother?"

"Mmmhmm, him too." She said, waving me off as she walked towards the house.

How old was this kid?

I sat on the front step while Britt took her bags inside. I could hear Isaac and Quincy getting excited and Walker laughing with Britt, but I didn't move.

And then someone nudged me with their foot.

When I looked up, Walker was smiling down at me.

"We'll get you to the first meeting we can today, right now, you need to go in there and be with your wife."

"Yeah, I know."

"If you know, then why are you sitting out here by yourself?" I shrugged and tried to keep my eyes on the road in front of me. She sat beside me and stretched out her long legs, but didn't say another word. I knew her game, sit there and waited me out, but then she changed her game. "I hooked up with your sister."

I turned towards her, ready to tell her all the ways that was fucked up when I saw her stupid grin.

"You didn't?"

"Nope. I have helped her hook up with a few women though. She says I'm her wingman, but really, you Lopezes have enough game all on your own."

Now I was grinning.

"And don't you forget it."

"They haven't called you, have they?" Walker flipped the subject, and I didn't want to acknowledge it but it was really fucking bothering me.

"No."

"Well, I can tell you that if they haven't, it might be them doing you a favor."

"How is shutting me out doing me a favor?"

"What have you been afraid of in their breakup?"

"Being dragged in the middle, or being made to choose a side."

"Maybe, right now, they are figuring things out and trying to keep you out of the middle. From the sound of it, you have something bigger to worry about."

"Oh...yeah...that."

"Someone wants you erased, Santana...don't be so flippant about it."

"It's not the first time, won't be the last."

"But don't you want it to be?"

I rolled my eyes. "I learned a long time ago to stop wishing for that. I have enemies, fuck, I don't think I have ever NOT had enemies."

"That was a fine attitude for young Santana, who had little to lose but now you are building a real estate empire, you're a mother of three and a wife. You have SO much to lose. Why don't you care?"

"I do care. It's just...when things like this came up, Marco or Mami would step in. Now he's gone soft and Mami...she's...she's gone."

I took a deep breath and tried to keep the smile on my face from falling but it was nearly impossible.

"Well, honey, as someone who has now lost a parent, I can imagine how incredibly hard this is. You lost both of your parents way too early, and you know, parents never really stop raising you. There's so much that you haven't done yet. You're a kid still, not even 25...but look at you, suffering more than some people will in a lifetime."

"I know."

"You can't ignore this, because you know what happens. The more you try to ignore the big bad, the bigger it becomes."

"You're right."

The door creaked open, and those brilliant blues were looking down at us.

"Sorry to interrupt, Gia is crying...I looked for pumped milk, but there isn't any. I changed her. I think she's just hungry."

I had been feeling the tightness in my chest for a little while, I knew I should have gone inside, but I just couldn't bring myself to.

"Come around for the evening meeting; I think I do need this time with my little family." I said, and Walker pulled me into a side hug.

"You got it. Remember what I said if you feel like making a call..." She let her words trail, but I knew.

"I appreciate that, Lady."

"See ya at 4:30, be ready."

"You got it."

Brittany's POV

I could feel it coming.

The breakdown.

Even after I handed her our sweet Gia, and she happily nursed her.

When she sat painting Dani's nails with this funky glitter polish she'd bought for her, I could still see the cracks.

And when Celia and Quinn finally popped back up at the house, holding hands talking about trying one more time, I thought she'd be relieved but instead there was a look.

I could see what was coming as if she was holding up a poster board with what came next but no one else did.

"Thanks for keeping Quincy today. Why don't you two go out for a bit, we can watch the kids for a few hours, especially if you pump a bit, sis." Ceily said, but Ana just shook her head.

"I've got a meeting, then I need to check in on the businesses. Britt Britt, you can stay here and give me some alone time...right?"

She smiled in my face, but I could see it in her eyes.

Even if she didn't feel like it, she'd been alone enough.

"No." I said, and the room got quiet, but I didn't care.

Ana froze, her fake smile falling.

"What do you mean, no?"

"Just that, no. There's nothing you need to do that I can't go to with you."

"Are you serious right now?" Her response was a little too growly.

"I am." I crossed my arms over my chest, ready to argue with her, even if that was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Britt, I have been here every day with a newborn, and I could use a break. Just for a few hours."

"Well, let's take a break together."

"Mama?" Izzy interrupted, but I didn't look at him. My eyes were stuck on my wife.

"Yeah, Buddy?"

"Dr. Cross is on the phone." I held out my hand until my phone was in my palm, but I didn't look away from my wife.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Lopez?"

"What is it?"

"Can you make it to New York?"

"No. I can't. Just tell me."

"Mr. Vega's condition has taken a turn."

"Is he dying?"

"That remains to be seen."

"Look, I will make it there when I can. I will send his actual next of kin to you. Please don't call me unless he's dead."

"Oh...but-" She began, but I ended the call, all while staring down my wife.

Her eyes were wide now; I hadn't told her about Marco yet.

But maybe I should, because someone was out for her and him both.

Shit was getting real.

And there was no way in hell; I was letting her go off on her own.

"Q?" I called out.

"Yeah?"

"I need you to pack up the kids. We aren't staying here another day."

"Wait, this is my fucking house. I'm not leaving!" Ana was furious and I didn't care. "Who the fuck do you think you are, Brittany? I thought we moved past this. Do you need to go back to Crisis? Have you been taking your meds?"

"That call was about Marco. You're not the only one that someone went after last night. Only, he didn't have someone watching his back...he may not make it." I said, and she stumbled back.

"What about...is Nikolai okay?"

"Mari has him."

"And you...wait...they called you?"

"Yes. I'm Marco's emergency contact, somehow. Anyway, I'll tell Ari to go be there. I don't want anything to do with him."

And then the baby began to cry.

"Mama, you were supposed to fix things." Dani said as she strolled into the kitchen, right into all the drama.

And I knew I was wrong, whether I liked it or not, Marco and I were tied together because two pieces of him were right in my face.

Fuck.

"I am, Dani." And finally, I looked away from Ana so that I could look at our daughter. "Go help Dama pack. We are leaving."

"Wait, Mama, we just got here!" Dani stomped her foot.

"We are all-" I began, and then I heard the door slam, and looked up. An empty space was where Ana once stood, and I fucking knew.

Things were about to get much worse.

This was like being stuck on the worst ride at the fair.

I just wanted my family away from it all, but running to Lima still wasn't far enough...we were forever drawn back to that cursed city.

"Fix it, Mama." Dani had snapped at me before grabbing Izzy's hand and pulling him out of the kitchen.

Celia was the only one left in the kitchen, she was staring out the back window, towards the garage.

"What do I do?" I asked her.

"She's getting a gun."

"What?!"

"My father's gun cellar is beneath that garage. That's the only thing she could be doing in there, right?"

I stood by Celia's side as she gripped the sink, looking paler than usual.

"She's been sober this whole time, right?"

"Yes."

"And you guys left her here with the kids since last night?"

"I was unconscious."

"Right, you're okay?"

"Concussion. I'm okay."

Celia was right. Ana came storming out of the garage with a black box in her hand.

"What should I do?"

"Right call on leaving this house. It's got a big fucking target on it."

"She doesn't think so."

"You came in making demands. She rebelled. I would have done the same thing."

"I just want my family to be safe."

"So does she."

The door slammed again. I turned and watched Ana come into the kitchen and slam the box onto the table.

"I am not leaving." She said again.

"Why? You've always hated this house."

"It's my mother's house, Britt. It's all I have left. This town was her home. I can't just let them run me out of it."

"Oh."

"I have a license, don't look at this box like it's the worst thing."

"It's a gun, Santana, I've used them and I still don't like that you brought that in here." Celia said and Ana shrugged.

"You can leave then. It's not like you can't afford to go. Take Quincy and Q, I guess, and leave."

"I defended you last night, and now you want me to leave?" Now it was sister against sister.

"You're an idiot for taking her back, Ceily."

"Like you have room to talk." Ceily looked at me, and she had a point. She'd literally peeled me off of Ana. "I don't hold Britt's past shit against you, so you don't need to do that to me. She's you're best friend."

"Doesn't mean I trust her." Ana said, and I could see that she'd meant that more than anything.

It made me sad.

We were a trinity, a unit. Had she finally decided that being a twosome was better?

That was supposed to make me feel awesome, but it didn't.

I felt so tired of battling through everything.

Something had to give.

"If you insist on staying here, then so will I but the three of them, will not."

"No." She said, looking like I had punched her.

"You have always had a bit of a death wish, baby but you can't put our whole family in danger because of it."

"That's not what this is. Look, this is just insurance, B. I already made a call. It's handled."

"Who did you call?" I asked as she tried to pick the lock to the box.

"Sugar's father."

"Wait, you called the mob?"

She looked up at me and gave me a shrug, and then I saw it.

The jump.

She sniffed and went back to picking.

No.

I'd been home for one whole hour.

Not again.

Not ever again.

"Are you high?"

She looked offended as she gaped at me.

"Are you? Of course, I'm not high. When would I even have the time?"

"Wouldn't be the first time you've lied."

"You really want to fuck with me when there's a gun between us, B?" She smirked, but I didn't take it as a joke.

I couldn't live in a house where she casually joked about shooting me.

Especially since I had already been shot because of her.

And it took longer than it should have for her to remember that.

"Who are you right now, Santana?"

"If you'd been here, maybe you would know the answer to that."

"You told me to go!"

"Well, as you just pointed out, I'm a fucking liar."

"Please don't be like this. We don't need a gun. There are better ways."

"Name one."

And I couldn't.

I just wanted more than the gun option.

"Stop the violence." I said because it usually made her smile, but this time she glared.

We were totally not on the same page, and I had no idea how to fix it.

Or if I still wanted to.