Written for the Song to Story Challenge, November 2021. Stories were written from the prompt song, Do I Wanna Know, by Arctic Monkeys

2nd Place Winner, Public Vote (Tied)

The Song to Story Contest was created by Frannie Walsh, of It All Started with Twilight. Please check out all the great entries listed under the author name Song To Story Challenge.

Summary – Even as I watch you watch her...

Disclaimer— Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I am not Stephenie Meyer.

As always, thank you to Raum for beta'ing.

Even Though I Know

A tray of mimosas sits on a table in the corner. As I pick one I think about you, and I take a sip. She's got cute little glass bowls filled with cut up pieces of fruit and berries, and there are toothpicks with tiny pink hearts at the ends to skewer them with. I let my hand hover over the bowls a moment before I spear a strawberry and drop it into my glass.

Her gown is hanging in its bag, and all the other girls Ooh and Aah as she pulls it out and shows it off. I'd really rather not join in. I was with her when she picked it out, and the reminder is too painful. No one notices me slip away as the photographer hangs it in the window. In the hall I drain my drink in one go. I'm going to need the help if I'm to get through this.

"There you are!" she says, laughing. "What are you doing out here?"

Pull yourself together.

"Just needed some air."

"Well, come back in!" She's all smiles. Why shouldn't she be? She's a bride on her wedding day. My best friend.

She wouldn't be all smiles if she knew the secret we're keeping from her.

My best friend.

I don't know how I let this happen, how I ever let it get this deep. This wasn't supposed to happen. She's my best friend.

I look at my empty glass and set it down on the table. I know I shouldn't take another one, but I do. By the time we're all dressed, her in her white gown and the rest of us in our pink, I've had a third.

"Better be careful," she chides.

She turns away, unsuspecting and innocent, but she looks back when I call her name.

He's not good enough for you, I want to say. I'm not good enough for you.

"You look beautiful," I say instead.

Her eyebrows knit themselves together, but before she has a chance to ask what I'd been going to say, she's whisked away. I drag my feet behind them, the rest of the bridal party. This has to end, I resolve. We can't keep doing this. It would break her heart if she found out.

I can hear the guests gathered on the terrace outside as we all approach. The DJ is playing soft classical music as people whisper back and forth. The song comes to an end, and the whispering dies down. You and your groomsmen must've taken your places. I can imagine you, standing there at the end of the aisle, and I know it's wrong, but I can't help but want at least a little bit of your attention to be on me as I as I walk in. I admit I feel jealous knowing it won't be, and I know that's wrong of me too. I know you love her.

I love her, too. She's my best friend.

"Okay?" she asks me. The concern on her face is genuine as she looks at me, and the guilt I feel is crushing.

He's not good enough for you! I want to scream. I'm not good enough for you!

"Yeah," I manage to say. "Just fine."

She breathes a sigh of relief, and she smiles. "Thank God. I can't have my maid of honor passing out."

I try to return her smile, but I can't.

"Just nervous," I say.

The song I know she's picked out for all of us to walk in to starts playing, and the staff line us up. I'm the last one, right before her. When it's my turn, I clutch the plastic handle of my bouquet so hard it digs into my palm, and your face pales when you see me.

I take my place with the others, and the music changes. Everyone turns to watch the bride walk in, but I watch you. I see your face as you watch her walk toward you, and I can see your love for her. You don't look like that when you look at me. I don't know what I look like when I look at you, but I don't imagine it's anything like she does either. I don't love you. I don't even pretend it to myself.

I just want you.

I know it's wrong, but even as I watch you put a ring on her finger, and even as I watch you kiss her as the official pronounces you husband and wife, I know that if you call me tomorrow or next week or the week after that, I'll come crawling to you.

And I know you will call, because I know you want me too.