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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.

Act Two: Onii-chan

I awake as I tend to into a typical scene: many people were screaming out. So many voices it was numbing to the point it didn't hurt anymore. "...!" We are nothing more than a pool of it.

"DO YOU THINK ONLY YOU WILL BE SAVED!"

They hate me because I lived.

"Grant…" They want to the point of poison. A toxic wish that burns the air as much as the fire.

"Grant…!"

I can not respond to the flames. It is my ever-present, ever-unpleasant nightmare… but it thankfully never lasts too long.

In that mucus of darkness, there is that one thing I can only reach out for, a brilliant golden thing calling out for me. A shrill voice compels me forwards until I pass through my burned-down mind and into the light.

Dreams will always end, no matter how much you try to continue them.

A trimming voice finds me, "What is it you wish for?"

A void of a voice that has no traits and makes no sound but something like the grating of nails on a chalkboard.

My wish? '...Me?' What do I want?

...Who is me?

Like a naive child, I take the hand that is offered to explore this newness.

Into The Sunlight (Music) /xb3UmzOqios

I wake up groggy, and after going to the bathroom with my eyes barely open, I unconsciously begin my routine. In the kitchen, I hear it again.

"What is it you wish for?" The black shadow asks me. The room is too dark for any sane person to tolerate.

"..." But I have nothing to say.

My eyes clear, and I hear her continue. "Then you have no complaints then? You like anything I make?" The voice that I know replaces the scraping. I turn on the light, and…

I realize where I am. "It's just you…."

"Just me? I'll have you know that that is plenty. Hmph, then perhaps you would not like breakfast then?"

Irisviel was not a good cook by any measure except enthusiasm, which only went so far. She was my pupil, but I'm not that amazing either. Only by the standard that I don't cause fires like certain others.

My head hurt suddenly as my body finally caught up to many facts that it ignored while in sleep. I was aching all over from exertion, and I had a bit of a headache. "Breakfast? Ah, huh… Wait... Where are we?"

"Home! Can you believe it? You can't believe how hard it was for me to get you two on the plane asleep! I left it mostly to those maids to figure it out.

"I see… How long did I sleep?"

"Oh, about a day or so. I've been waiting here for something to happen in the meantime. The walls are quite sleek, I will say." She took on the time-honoured Emiya tradition of staring at the wall for hours to days at a time.

"But where is Dad? ...And Ilya?" He was right there, and he was crying, then it all faded into a black mist. Now I am home.

"Oh, I sent Kiri on a special mission, and Ilya… well, I lent her to you for a while. Shouldn't you have that answer?"

"...What? I was sleeping. I don't know where she is."

Where has she gone… Where is Kiritsugu? ...These sorts of questions were reasonable, and thus had no place in this home.

"If you do not know, then your mission is simple! Find her and bring her here so I can feed my little baby once more." Mom lost herself in her awful cooking, but I could not stop her right now.

I had a new mission: find Ilya.

I quickly looked back in my room. I guess she was supposed to be there like Mom said, but there was only my futon, so I don't know… Then I checked the other rooms, but it was all empty. The hallways were dark, as the sky was not so nice out today.

March was never a great month. It is ashy, and the snow is like volcanic ash as the muddy rain starts to dirty it in the looming sun.

Yet, it remains too cold to be comfortable.

Surrounded By Smiling Faces (Music) /7TFKj8iKjAA

I find her outside, looking down at some small residual snow on the ground. It's muddy, though, and not very pretty for snow. "Ilya? Aren't you cold?" She is not wearing enough clothes for this weather as she seems just to have light pyjamas on.

She turns towards me. "Oh, Shirou ...Hello." Awkward silence ensues between us. Where to begin? In some ways, this is our first real conversation. After a little waiting, I can't help but notice that she is shivering.

"You should have something more on you." I know she doesn't like the cold. My head flashes with scattered memories — winter was an awful time when all the villagers would bemoan their misfortunes more than usual.

I can't handle this sort of situation, so I simply move to fix it. I take my shirt off and try putting it over her like a coat, that dispels the cold look into a bewildered one, "w-what are you doing!?"

"Making you warm. That's my responsibility." I bring her close and make sure to create energy to warm her throughout her body.

I have no shirt on now, but I think that it is necessary for this situation. "Onii-chan, idiot! You are going to freeze!"

I saw this in some manga Shinji showed me once. A big-muscled hero who protected his little sister and defeated all his villains without much effort. It was not as informative as I had hoped, though

"I'm fine. See, it's working. Your face is heating up." I hold her tighter to help her blood warm, as she is dreadfully cold to the touch.

"That, you…!" I hope I wasn't hurting her by heating her up too fast because it seems her brain melted. "Baka! Baka Onii-chan!" But her attempt at lighting the mood falls flat.

It was worth a try.

That left her silent and pensive again; looking off into the snow, she looked lost. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"

"No, It's not that..." She held out the snow in her hand and looked deeply into it. "Onii-chan… Did you know that I was going to kill you and Kiritsugu? I was going to hurt you until you were so ugly that he would hate you. Aren't you afraid of me? Can something like this really be alright? Can I really have this?"

She is asking for permission to enjoy herself with what life has presented her with.

The man that betrayed Einzbern. Kiritsugu abandoned everything and started living in this town. Ilya should not forgive Kiritsugu, and she really must want to kill us even now. But the world is weird.

"It's alright, Ilya. You can have as much fun as you want. Everything you felt was justified... I am a hateable person."

She feels whiplash at my words, "I don't hate you! I never did... I hated the idea of you."

"Then let's get to know each other then. We can do anything you want. We're siblings, after all... we have a lot to make up for."

That made her happy immediately, as a free spirit takes her, "A-anything? Then… there is nothing holding me back! Hehe! Did you know that they locked me in those rooms, and never let me go outside? They said it was bad for me! But now we're going to have so much fun!" She twirls, and begins to throw the snow from the ground into the air and have it fall back like it would if it was snowing.

"..." I hear her giggle for the first time. It is most certainly a childish and indulgent laugh that a little sister would have. It makes me feel funny… as if I want to indulge her in anything.

Since I was protecting her from the cold, the snow came down on my bare skin and made me shiver. "I've never felt real snow before. It's amazing! Haha, you look like a snowman now, Shirou! When do you think it will really snow again!?"

Her pure enthusiasm charged this vacant home, and everyone could now be happy. "Winter is almost over now... It may not happen again this year." She had wide eyes at that.

She had a suspicious look. "Huh? What happens after winter?"

"It turns to spring, then summer and fall and winter again."

"I… never heard that before. Grandfather kept it snowing every week of the year." Her red eyes peered up close to mine, he had a sense of wonder in them. She must be completely overstimulated with this newness. "Everything is all new to me. I pity that you have had to live in such a barbaric place like this. It's so small, and all the rooms are dreadful and empty, especially your room, Shirou! I had no idea that you and Kiritsugu were so poor..." She looks at me as how I imagine a rich person looks at a homeless person they pity.

"Ilya… this is one of the larger estates in town, and I think among all the Japanese-style homes, it may be the biggest." Except for the Fujimura group estate, which was more of headquarters than a home.

Once her exploration of the surrounding area was done, she turned back to me and looked all close. It seemed that I was her new point of exploration. "You… have plenty of scars, Shirou. Are you okay?" She asked, frightened.

"Haha, they're just from being a kid." I laughed it off. "This one's from Dad hitting me with a shinai, and that one... Oh." That one was from a worm that tried to bite through my skin. "But it is no matter, haha. I do have one here... It's pretty weird." Over my heart, I still have that one I found randomly: A.B. or something like that.

These marks are never really where I feel pain from. It's the scars you can't find that hurt the most.

"Huh, I don't know anything about that. Grandfather told me all about how Japanese people like to beat each other barefoot in your dojo and that you are barbarians. Kiritsugu is a real monster for treating you like this!" She didn't want to talk about Dad any longer. It was still really hurtful to think about for her. In that way... I think Mom sent Dad away for more than just some mission. "Ilya and Kiritsugu need more time. Well Enough about these dumb scars, you really have funny eyes, Onii-chan! And your hair too has white like mine!"

I trace my eyes slightly left to prevent any reading of her. "Oh... sorry." I feel ashamed, thinking she just knows all about the situation of my eyes, but...

"No, I think they are lovely! Onii-chan has brown eyes, but then, under that, I see red! Just like mine! Haha! You are like me... made for me."

My eyes have changed in the time I have touched magic. Every part of me has changed, and my reward for that sacrifice is right in front of me.

Having her say that she thinks I look 'lovely', makes it feel worth it.

By the time I remembered that I was supposed to bring Ilya in, I was freezing. "I-Ilya… I-Inside must be warmer. I can cook for you… Mom and I can make anything, really."

Ilya's face lights up. It seems the fact that I can cook is a delightful thing for Ilya. "You can cook!? Shirou~" She hugs me and warms me up. Stars shine in her eyes.

"Then do you want to make it together?"

"Really!? Yeah, I'll go! Now carry me, Onii-chan! I want to have a pancake!" And so I did carry her, and all was well.

She definitely got her manic side from Irisviel.

As I carry Ilya the best I can, I see a purple shadow in my mind's eye nearby. I can feel it watching on with jealousy. But it disappears quickly. 'Huh, strange. Am I forgetting something?'

Nothing important.

I carry Ilya into the kitchen. It was a weird scene with me having no shirt and Ilya wearing it as I was covered in snow and still desperately cold.

"Mommy! Shirou said you'd make me a pancake as big as the moon!"

"Pancake… Ah, well I… I will do it!" Irisviel did not know how to make anything past very simple meals. And that was with me helping her on her best days.

Even pancakes were beyond her, which is surprising since she is a westerner. Well… that was just one thing about her, she had a black thumb for cooking.

Sakura and I can soak different parts of the curse off of her, but still, that leaves much left to be desired.

I put Ilya down and ran to find a new shirt. I came back to my utterly confused mother, desperately trying to think of how pancakes are made.

I put my apron on and entered cooking mode. "First, we need the ingredients, right, Irisviel? I can go and find them. I'll run to the-"

She shook her head, having some other plan in mind. "Exactly right, Shirou! But there is no need: Sella, Lessyrit!" Mom yelled through the house, and not a few seconds later, two Einzbern maids came into the room as if they were right outside the entire time. "I need you to get enough pancake mix that you could make a pancake as great as the moon!"

"...Yes, Mistress." The two disappeared before I had the thought to prevent the disaster.

When they returned, not seven minutes later, they had all the pancake mix that could be found in Fuyuki…

Though, I think even they understood some common sense. It wasn't enough to make pancakes as big as the full moon.

They looked at me respectfully. "...Onii-sama." They dropped it all on me. They rolled all the redundant ingredients into my kitchen and left me with a glut of pancake-making material.

Did… they just call me… father? No, I must have heard it wrong. "Err, Onii-sama…?" They did not explain further and walked off. I guess I'm just going to ignore that.

It is a nightmare of mine that I don't wish to speak of coming true. My kitchen has been taken over and trashed and disrespected!

My kitchen, my holiest place, has been defiled.

If there is one thing I will not tolerate, it is this.

The villain is smiling and thinks it is really fun to debase what is great, "Alright Shirou, what do I do next?" Mom asked for my help, but I had already crossed the line of sanity.

She was no longer a mother to me, not if she continued to be in my kitchen, she is just a parasite now in my eyes. "First, you will sit down." I push her out and to the table.

"Alright, what next?" She is confused, but naive enough to listen.

"Now, you sit quietly while I do the rest." A coldness takes my heart, and I remove the threat.

Ilya hesitantly sat on Mom's lap, but when she found a comfortable position, Ilya looked happier than I'd yet to her.

They had a lot to catch up on, and it calmed me down enough that bitterness did not affect my cooking.

A good cook is always calm, after all. I can't blame Irisviel for being a bad cook, because she was not the one at fault.

" Onii-chan making pancakes~" Ilya's singing brightens the dark house.

I make big western-style pancakes one after another. I remember reading instructions once and simply remaking it based on those instructions.

They are about as big as the full moon is in the sky.

"Yay! Pancakes from Onii-chan!"

"Haha. Alright, Ilya! Here it comes." I put down the first plate, and Ilya's eyes turned to stars as she looked at the treat in front of her.

The maids had given me much more than just pancake mix. There were also strawberries, butter, and cut banana. That I would give to Ilya and Mom together, for it was a less precise job.

"Son, so what do I do next?"

"You can help Ilya put what she wants on the pancake now." She really helped me by leaving my kitchen. it was cruel of me, but it had to be done for the general health of all.

"Wow, I never knew it was that easy to make pancakes! I used to make them... but I can't quite remember how." And so Ilya on Mom's lap was experimenting with all these new sorts of foods that she may not even have seen since Mom and Dad left her.

It was a bit of a mess, but Ilya was having so much fun with it that I didn't have the heart to chide her.

But I still felt wrong. Something was missing…

Taiga was around for a few days, and Kiritsugu was off somewhere. Tohsaka was presumably at her house, and… "Ah!" I walk right towards the hall.

"Where are you going, Onii-chan?"

"I'll be right back. I've been stupid." I had forgotten something that was hiding out of sight and mind.

Someone that is hiding in lapses of human memory. Right there in the hall, I find her.

I took her shoulder, and spook her. "Eeeek!"

"Sakura, where are you going?"

"…S-senpai! I-I wasn't watching..." I never said that you were...

"Sakura, there is no reason for you to hide; this is a home for you too. Sorry… I've been an idiot. I was so preoccupied that I forgot to call you for breakfast."

I felt horrible for forgetting that Sakura had stayed here in the house while we were away.

She looked like she was going to say something but gave up. "It's not your fault, Senpai. I am fine like this..."

Lies that she may convince herself to believe. There are more than enough spectators in my life. I won't let Sakura become like that! I will not let her stay in the shadows a second further.

"You must be hungry. And there is someone you have to meet, come on, Sakura." And so I dragged her gently to the kitchen.

"Wait…! Senpai… that is..." She resisted to no avail; I wouldn't tolerate someone not having their meal. When it came to Sakura and me, I had long since come to know that sometimes it is a matter of pushing or pulling her when she can't go alone.

I came into the room holding and pulling Sakura like a lost child.

"I found her."

Ilya looked up, and the food seemed to turn to ash in her mouth due to whatever surprise this was. She was displeased. Considering she had a mouth full of pancakes, it was a messy change in mood.

I felt very guilty as it looked like I was bullying Sakura. Ilya must see this in a bad light.

This was just how it was with me and Sakura, though. I recall that Tohsaka, too, had issues at first with how Sakura and I could sometimes communicate physically rather than with words.

So I felt the need to assuage any fears and establish this situation quickly: "Err, this is my best friend: Sakura. She is very important to me, and um…." I turned to Sakura. "This is Illya: she is my little sister. I sincerely hope you can get along."

I introduced Ilya to Sakura and Sakura to Ilya.

Sakura awkwardly stood there, inching closer behind me as to escape the centre of attention.

"Hello, Sakura. I can see that you're the daughter of Makiri, but I won't look down on you for it. I will endeavour to treat you like a normal person, since you are Onii-chan's acquaintance." Ilya had a cold face that betrayed little: It was the face of a magus.

"Alright, and I'll act as if you do."

"…?" That's the entirety of their introduction. I look back to help Sakura to her spot, but all I see are cold eyes fixed on Ilya.

It was agony for me to watch my vision of instant friendship shatter. It seems that this was going to be a bit more work than I had hoped for...

It was painfully tense in the room.

Mom breaks the silence. "Now, now, Ilya. Sakura-chan is a helpful little girl. If it was not for her, I would have never been able to reunite with you. Is she truly too repugnant for you? If so, you must hate Shirou and me too. We have all committed many black and ugly acts to bind us together."

Mom pushes Ilya out of her lap, and stands her up and out of the comfort of her lap. Iri is not using warmth to skew Ilya's view.

The entire scales weigh on top of Ilya. There can be no hiding the evil that was pervasive even in the air we breathed.

Was it something Ilya could not accept?

...If that is so, then it may vanish from her eyes as if it hadn't been there in the first place.

"That's not true… It's not that at all..." A weak voice. Ilya hangs her head and stares at the floor. She looks back up like an inquisitor. "Shirou, I must ask, where is this girl sleeping!?"

"…? Um, Sakura's sleeping in the guest room in the outbuilding."

Ilya tapped her chin and left us all waiting to see her reaction, "Hmm, far enough..." She looked between Sakura and me. Uncomfortably, Ilya suddenly curtsied. "I would not like it for you to think that I do not have manners: I will thank you, Sakura. You've done a great thing for me."

That gave my tense body some relief.

Sakura was genuinely surprised by the thank you. "...You are welcome."

The rest of the breakfast was neither a disaster nor a miracle as Ilya had fun devouring an incredible number of my pancakes one after another.

She was neither Sakura's new friend, but she also didn't completely ignore her. Ilya had a bright smile on, but did give Sakura a few suspicious looks. Sakura and Ilya could stand to be in the same room with one another, that was a good start.

Ilya had stars in her eyes once more. "Yay! Again, flip it again!" I was flipping the pancakes for her in the pan like some tv chef. I felt like one with this encouragement, though I made sure to keep watch and not sully the art of cooking even if I was distracted by the scene at the table.

Ilya could eat more than her body suggested… It seemed to me that she had a severe sweet tooth.

I was fattening her up, but she asked so earnestly that I can't help but say yes.

This is the magic of the little sister. Funnily enough, it reminded me a little of how I can be very defensive of Sakura sometimes. Weird.

Sakura's voice is exasperated behind me. "Uh, Ilya-san. Are you really okay with all that at once?" Sakura could only handle a single pancake before the sugar was enough to make her a little rosy.

"Hah, I don't know! But I like seeing Shirou in an apron, so I'm going to keep ordering! Again! Again!" Her eyes were hypnotic stars that broke any man's willpower.

Mom had a full explanation, "You see, Sakura-chan: our new maids will have fully formed personalities soon, so this could be the final time Ilya will have the freedom to eat whatever she wants. Oh, and little Ilya doesn't gain weight as fast as you would. Hehehe! Ilya could probably even eat poison and be fine!"

I was busy, but the shadow of jealousy was long enough that I could see it from the pantry. "..."

It went on until I used enough mix to feel comfortable with keeping the rest for later or to give to Fuji-nee to figure out. I went overboard in my anxiety to the general mess I had and made too many pancakes.

It is needless to say, but Ilya became fairly ill as she finally learned her limits. Nobody had the heart to stop her feat before it was too late, and her excitement became more on the queasy side. "Shirou… again… Blegh…."

Mom consumed the rest like it was nothing, and brought her to rest with her in Kiritsugu's bed. I'm sure they had so much to catch up on that even all the time in the world wouldn't be enough. I could at least try to give them at least that.

Sky in a Bottle (Music) /vAlRVO5sKMA

That night, as I returned from my newly restarted daily routine out at the storage shack, I heard some rustling in the kitchen.

Today's meals were messed up due to the weird breakfast, but I had made sure that even the oblivious maids were fed.

'Hmm, it's late…' Is someone still hungry…?

I snuck in and found my culprit at the pantry, only just tall enough to be on level to the cooking area.

"Sakura? Are you still hungry?" I came right behind her in the kitchen. From what I have gathered from watching her, Sakura has a taste for sweets, just like Ilya seems to. But she doesn't say so proudly.

"Agh!" She yells out, scared and nearly falls right over.

In her hand is a knife. She held it as a murderer would… It most certainly concerns that she would sneak to the kitchen for this. I spooked her, and now it is shaking in uncertain hands.

I hold her hand tight, so as to stop her dangerous shaking hands. "Sorry… I don't mean to scare you..."

I help her place the knife down safely. "S-senpai I-I was…. I was…" She stutters, ashamed.

Sakura brandishing a knife suspiciously? I guess I'll just change subjects.

"...Is this about Ilya? Don't take it too personally, Sakura. She is just a little shy and doesn't yet know how to make friends. I think you will be really good friends with some time."

She shakes her head, exasperated by my change. "No, Senpai. It's not that, it's just that, I-I was thinking…" She took a few steps back to the fridge, and I saw that there was an onion on the chopping board. "I was trying while you were gone, t-to learn about, you know, I mean, I want to help you…!"

'Help… me?' That's backwards.

If not for Sakura, then I would probably fallen apart, and if it wasn't for me, then Irisviel would probably fall apart, and if it wasn't for Irisviel, then Kiritsugu would probably fall apart. Needless to say, she is important to me. She has changed since Shinji has left. She can speak more clearly, and rare smiles can be found on her face. Though her speech has gone from cold to more... nervous. Though I don't know why she is all of a sudden nervous with me, considering what we've done together. "What do you mean? You have already helped me more than enough."

"Senpai… I am… I want." Her resolve takes a few seconds to muster into a serious confession that comes out almost like a surging of power. "I-I was wondering if you would teach me how to cook!?" She clutched her right arm and flashed an assertive side.

"Oh." Not exactly the murder mystery I was imagining. Though it is equally troubling in my head. "I see…" This is… a lot to ask me. It means the loss of something important.

But… I would never turn away from this earnest look. Not when it is something that took so long for her to finally show. Sakura is someone I could never turn against.

So this is the right thing to do, no matter what consequence it may have. "Hah, alright, Sakura. But I do have rules, and I am a hands-on teacher, so you will have to listen to me no matter what."

"Oh, I understand. I know that it was too much... Huh…?" She behaved as if I denied her until the words fully caught up to her. "Y-you mean it?" A final vulnerability opens, as she lets her fragile trust come out. I will take that trust, and protect it.

"Yep, Sakura. I promised I would teach you a long time ago, remember? I have been so busy before, but now I think I can finally do it."

Though it seemed she was stuck in her own head. "Senpai said yes..." She whispered to herself in awe. She looked genuinely happy for the first time since… Well, maybe ever. Her eyes shined in the light, and that same weird feeling returned that stung my eyes. "Whatever you say… I'll do it. I… think I am ready to move on, Senpai. I want to be of help to you… I'm done with being the only useless one here."

...? It is a fuzzy feeling that doesn't sit well with me. A sickening, yet good feeling? It keeps trying to pierce my eyes, but my mind cannot translate it into meaning.

I found her an apron from a drawer and set it in her hands. "Then you better be ready. I won't go easy on you. Here is my first rule: you can't be in the kitchen without your own apron. So this is yours for now… Until I can get you something better. Consider it my acceptance of you in my kitchen from now on."

She holds my hand tight without thinking and just keeps it there. ...It makes me feel very strange.

Our eyes meet. "...Thank you, Senpai. This is the second time someone has given me something precious to me."

I like the feeling of being with Sakura… Is that weird?

It is like a key to something ominous. It is an emotion of fragile beauty and leads only to ash. Yet even with that doom in front of me, I hold her hand and feel… nice. I know where this may lead, and I know that I may lose something here I can't take back. The alternative is much worse.

Eventually, the awkwardness gets to me and I remember some affiliated memory that sprung up from all this.

I break away from her and rub the back of my neck to laugh dryly, "Haha, well then maybe we can invite Tohsaka-san over some time and see how good of a cook she really is. Maybe I can even try to teach Ilya too..." It is just a laugh for me, but to her, it seems like she hears it as a deadly serious challenge.

A determined shadow grows in her eyes. "I see how it is… Then I need to learn quickly then. ...Nee-san, you will not beat me." Sakura sometimes calls Tohsaka: 'Nee-san', when she is distracted or distressed. Why? I don't know. Or maybe… I don't want to acknowledge what I know. All that counts is to believe that we can all become friends.

'To cook and clean faithfully.' That is another penalty that I must give up, so to share with a girl who wants to finally learn something for herself. That is the paradox of living, that to live is to March straight towards death.

"Um, Senpai… I-I can't cut if you are holding my hands..." She blushed with regret.

"Oh! Sorry, Sakura… Hah, I am a bit careless." She must feel disgusted to hold my sweaty hands like that. I am a boy, and she is a girl… There are weird rules about it or something.

With her hand free, she scolded me for the first time without even thinking about it. "Yes, Senpai. You have been careless recently. I mean… you can't just take off your shirt like that in front of a girl, even if she is your 'sister'." She flushed red immediately after letting her real feelings show.

I was confused.

"Is that wrong? Hmm, then what about when you watch me through the crack in the door? Is that wrong too?"

Her entire face fell under her purple hair and radiated red shame. "Senpai…! Y-you knew…? I-I was just! ...It is, uh, I-It's only okay because it's me!"

"Hmm, I guess that's right." It made sense to me, but Sakura's face dropped as if she was just digging her hole even deeper. "Thanks, Sakura. Now I'll show you how to cut a carrot." I kept her for another hour, demonstrating how to properly hold a knife in the kitchen. So began my training of Sakura as my cooking apprentice.

She asked one thing that troubled me. "Can I ask you something, Senpai?"

"Of course."

"Ilya-san... I thought she was older than you? But... you know..." Older? My head felt hazy thinking about that...

"No. She is most certainly my younger sister."

"Oh. okay."

Fragment of Happiness (Music) /S77ZhgCWtas

If the first day marked my failure to create a friendship between Ilya and Sakura, then the next few were focused on my attempts to keep Irisviel from falling into a worse mental state as time continued to tick and no sign of Kiritsugu was to be found.

I clean the dishes while Mom does the important task I assigned her of watching me do it. The glass is sticky. Sakura undercooked the rice a little, and I had to salvage dinner tonight. Sakura was very embarrassed and apologetic, but this is the growing pains of cooking…

"Where is Kiritsugu, Shirou?"

"He's still away."

"Where is Kiritsugu, Shirou?"

"He's still away."

She starts manifesting little miniature Kiritsugu toys in her hands, and she crushes them. "Gggggggggggh! ...When are you coming home, Baka! You have a needy wife, and two kids to look after, and you're off adventuring." I wouldn't mind if he were here too, it would give me more time to do chores rather than keeping Irisviel entertained. It was a matter of life and death to keep her in harmony, and it took my full attention. This also left Ilya and Sakura alone, so it was untenable. "I hate you!" Her sorrow is beginning to cycle out of control.

At this rate… it is not long before the entire town is enclosed in shadow, and eaten alive…

That is no good.

"Um… But didn't you tell Kiritsugu to go, Mom?"

"Don't question your mother, Shirou. It is very disrespectful." Not that she cared for authority when it suited her. "...And that is beside the point entirely! He should have simply known when I am in need and come back already."

"…" I resolved myself to take some charge of the situation, as Mom was hopeless in many ways… making her own choices was the highest one of all. Without Dad around, that left me. She was very obviously in need of something to do now that Dad was not there for her to latch onto.

I think we should find something important to do – routine.

Otherwise, it is only a matter of time that she becomes bored to the point of destruction, and then there would be no turning back. "Mom, I think it is time for us to go to school again; and I remember you said that you would teach us magic." That is all that comes to mind, as really not much occurred in these past months for Mom other than her different attempts to please Dad that never much worked.

That brings her to a more thoughtful headspace. "Hmm, I did promise that Tohsaka girl… But, I do enjoy breaking a promise once in a while, hehe. It would be quite fun to see her face all distressed once more."

"Mom, please… I think that you could be a great teacher, just like you were to me."

"But why? Magic, magic, magic! That's all that I hear about. You already have me, so you don't anything more than that. You've been brave, and amazing up till now, but you don't need to go any further. Shirou, why not live a normal life? It's plenty of fun! If you can never stop and just appreciate what is, then you will go on until everything leaves you without even noticing."

"I do like that, but I promised Tohsaka to help her. ...Magic is something important to me too." I can't turn away from it.

Mom rubs her temples. She pouts internally, debating this in her inscrutable head. "...Fine! I'll teach if you love magic so much!"

"I don't love magic, Mom."

"Then why do you not listen to me? There is nothing wrong with living a simple life. I can find you a perfect wife, and you could live a nice everyday life forever. I could give you peace if you just let me… I could promise a beautiful life with little grandkids running across the house! This would be with no magic at all..."

The path of most resistance is the one I will follow. "That is a nice offer, Mom… But I can't take it." It means nothing if she is not there.

What's the point of empty pleasure? I can't give up on everyone else just for me. I am already the lucky one.

We were quiet as I washed the dishes.

We were both lost in our own thoughts in the kitchen so long that I cleaned up everything, leaving me with nothing left.

She sighs, as she has done quite a bit ever since our splitting from Kiritsugu. "Hah, you are cruel, my son. You hold everyone to an unrealistic standard… Never mind this, words alone won't make my obstinate son understand. Go find everyone If you still wish to discuss schooling…" She waves me off.

I bow as I leave the room. "Yes, Mom… Sorry." She has feelings too, but even then… I can't turn on something like that.

I leave her in the dark kitchen.

It's true that was an argument, but I was happy. A real family has arguments and different opinions… So it felt good that we could talk like that. This was progress if Mom and I could talk like this alone once more!

It's not hard to find our residential maids.

They go between wearing casual clothes to almost nun garb, then back and forth. It's Mom's version of having fun, and even if it is troubling, it is better than whatever may occur when she runs out of ideas to have fun with the maids.

Sella, and Lesyritt...

They are weird to say the least. Their mental capacity increased incredibly with each day, as they started following me on my daily routine and stealing my chores away from me. I don't like that, but don't understand why.

Meanwhile, Lesyritt and I get along fine.

"Hello, Liz. Did you clean the steps today?" I call out to Lesyritt as I meet them. She may be tall and look like an adult, but I think she has the sort of wavelength kids can relate to.

I do fear this upcoming part, She smiles at me innocently.

"...Onii-sama." She says with her broom in hand like a weapon attacking the dust on the ground like some enemy.

"Ugh." her name for me never ceases to be like a punch.

Sella intervenes, "Lesyritt! You mustn't be so familiar! In the absence of the master of the house, this is the head of the Emiya family! Regard him with formality!"

I was the only 'Emiya' here, so that means I am the head of Emiya. Everybody seemed to enjoy that idea more than I did.

The fact that they grew up so fast made me yearn to grow up too. I wish I could be as strong and smart as an adult in a week…

Although that was debatable, as these two would always have some… issues.

"Haha, It's alright. I'm fine with whatever name..." I laugh awkwardly. I went from have not being called big brother, to being called it all day by multiple people in a weeks time.

Liz is a nice girl, sort of like Ilya. Meanwhile, Sella was more like a strict teacher.

"...Haha." Here is the thing with Liz… she seems to only say the last word in a full sentence.

Her funny smile catches my attention long enough to let my guard down for an attack from behind. "Sneak attack!" The predator snuck up on me effortlessly and pounced on my back. Though I was not big enough to take her weight and fell. '...Is this justice for scaring Sakura all the time?' "Hahaha! Caught you! Your mine now, Shirou!"

"Milady! You mustn't debase yourself with this juvenile behaviour! It is unbecoming to the heir of the Von Einzbern family!"

Ilya had a devilish smile, and I knew that these maids could not force Ilya to do anything. "The Von Einzberns all listen to mommy now. So what is the problem? Are you saying you know better than Mommy about what is right for the family?"

"Milady…! I-I don't think that..." Sella was shut down easily.

Ilya can be a little devilish sometimes… She must get it from Mom. I pull Ilya from her power trip, "Come now, Ilya, don't bully Sella. She is just worried you're going to get hurt if you jump on me like that. Right, Sella?"

"Oh… yes. That is correct, Onii- err, Emiya-sama." Her eyes widen at her near mistake. It wasn't a day ago that Sella too was regarding me as 'Onii-sama'.

Considering that I was the first person they ever saw, they must have some… connection to me. In fact, the body that Mom now resides in also followed me back then… at least that didn't change her too. I can't exactly forsake them entirely, even if I can't accept them either.

Ilya-sama is not pleased. "Sella, what were you going to call my Shirou?"

"Ahem. He is Emiya-sama, Ojou-sama." Sella corrects and bows.

"Exactly right! So get it right from now on. And you too, Leysritt, you two should know your place!"

"...Maybe." Liz muttered.

Ilya obviously was not pleased by this insolence. "...!" She held a grudge against the two ever since she caught them calling me: 'Onii-sama', like it was totally natural. When it was established that it was their ideas and not mine, Ilya chided them never to call me that again with threatened face, and it was the main drama in recent days.

I know no words that will stop this, so I use my body instead.

I pick up Ilya. I can pick her up easily enough. I remember faintly that I picked her up back at the castle, but that memory is like a distant dream. She actually snuggles further into my hands, and helps me keep her weight. For my age, I know I am quite strong. "Just so you know, Onii-chan. You are only ever allowed to do this sort of stuff with me, okay?"

"Oh, okay. I guess that makes sense. Hmm, Although I recall holding Tohsaka like this once..." Maybe Sakura too. Those are no good thoughts, guys carry girls when they're in trouble, that's just how it works. I am not improving her mood. "I actually was looking for you, Ilya."

I carry through the "Shirou looking for me? Do you want to play? I can be the doctor, and you'll be my teddy bear!"

"Uh, that makes no sense, Ilya. And… today I think it's time we all came together."

"We? ...Oh." Her mood instantly drops once more, "Why those people, Shirou? I think you, me and momma the most fun. All these other girls are dumb; you have enough with me! Haha!"

"All people are important, Ilya. Tohsaka and Sakura are both my friends, and this is about school for all of us. I already made… certain promises to other people to make sure they get what they want too."

Now Ilya had become completely despondent. "...It seems to me that everything you do with me is something you have already done with other girls… I wanna take one of Onii-chan's first times too!" She cried out in my arms.

Sakura jumped out from the next room soon after that. "No! ...Oh, Senpai... W-what are you talking about over here?" She jumped out then acted like she just happened to be there.

She sure came conveniently, but at this point, I was hopeless if I was alone to convince Ilya. "Oh, hi, Sakura. I was discussing that should come together and talk about school… I think we can go back now. Mom will teach us magic and we can have a real everyday life."

"School…? I guess I can do that." Relief comes over Sakura unlike I've ever seen it. 'She must really want to go back to school…'

Shinji has been gone for a few months now, and Sakura has become a bit unaccustomed to school. Not that elementary school did much more than letting kids socialize, and Sakura never did that anyways… I was Sakura's only friend. For now, at least.

"I have to go get Tohsaka now. Do you want to come? it's a nice way to see Miyama city."

Ilya gets out of my grasp. "..No. Sorry, Onii-chan. I wouldn't want to see a dump like the Tohskaka place." ...Thank all that holy that Tohsaka didn't hear that.

"That alright, Ilya. I can show you Fuyuki fully some other time."

"I can go then, Senpai. ...If you don't mind, of course..."

"Of course, Sakura. It's cold so I don't mind company. And we could take a look at your house..."

"Yeah..." Sakura didn't seem to want to return at all to that place that held no good memories. But... it's wrong to hate a place so much you are unwilling to set foot in it. It's just an extra and unnecessary burden.

But Ilya had a dissatisfied smile now, "I've changed my mind, Shirou. I'm coming after all, and actually, Sakura told me that she decided to give us some space for once."

"Um, Sakura… did you…?" But I was no longer given any voice here.

"I didn't say that, Senpai! S-she is liar!" This sort of fight was common since their first interaction. They seemed to have good interactions, then when I came in the room they would start fighting as if competing.

It seemed that there was something they were fighting over, but I wasn't sure what it was… at this point, I think I was afraid to ask. Strangely, I think it's not so bad. Fighting over something is like a form of being a friend maybe.

"Ih... Well, we can all go together then, right?"

Sakura gives a soft smile, "Of course, Senpai. That's okay."

Ilya holds to my hand. "I was actually fine with that first, Onii-chan!" She was the one who denied it first... But it seems that something changed her mind.

"Okay… then let us go before it's dark." These conversations are taking forever, and I still haven't even gotten us all together a single time. All my movements these days are impeded by some new appearance from the shadows.

Fuyuki was home, and even in winter, it was a great view. All the newness was making Ilya run from place to place, and I had to protect her from going into the road. Or perhaps protect the cars from her...

Even Ilya was nearly speechless by the newfound view of the sea, "That's the ocean! Wow~ It's like a big bathtub, let's go swim right now, Shirou!" I keep her from running right off.

"Haha., It's not just summer yet, Ilya… You'll freeze if you go now."

"When can we go then?"

"When it's summer we can go. I'm sure that Mom would love to." She would force Kiritsugu to do it, I just feel it.

"That's another promise then! Soon I'll have Onii-chan make so many promises to me that he won't even think twice about making the ultimate one." The ultimate promise…? I wondered what that was but Sakura shook me from her side.

"I-I like the beach too..." Sakura added.

"Do you…? Huh… I didn't think that…" Sakura was always frail and small for as long as I knew her. Even if she has started to look more rounded out and healthy it wasn't what I imagined.

"I used to swim all the time… a long time ago."

"I see… You are probably a great swimmer." She sometimes smelt of the sea.

I take the image for granted, but this place really is pretty. ...Germany was too, but it just lacked... the spirit here. I can feel the land. Maybe that's what they call attunement? Apparently, if you are in a land that you are not attuned to, you can actually lose your magical power over time.

This was my land. I hope it can be Ilya's too.

The hill and the temple are on the other side, and this is picturesque Japan combining all three symbols: mountains, shrines and ocean.

The walk to Tohsaka's was tempestuous, to say the least, with both girls seeming to be giving bad eyes to one another from either side of me. It seemed like at some point they were even pulling me in different directions. 'We're going in one direction here...'

Past that, it was also Ilya's first look into Fuyuki, and she was excited at every new thing. She also explained that we are all very poor. ...It'll take some time for her to adjust.

We passed the dark and lost Matou residence, and reached the top of the hill where the Tohsaka mansion lay. "What do you think about this, Ilya-san? It's big, right?" Sakura said almost with some faint pride of the Tohsaka residence.

"Oh… Is that the Tohsaka place? Hmm, I think the bathroom at the castle is about that big…" She said nonchalantly at this largest residence in Fuyuki. Tohsaka's was an outhouse, and Dad's was like a homeless shelter…

This whole town must seem like some sort of quaint medieval village in her view.

That was her truth, as the castle, I saw in Germany was of a massive scale. Like a dozen, Homurahara Academies stacked next to each other. Even Dad's destruction was likely only enough to break a small portion of that place.

"Don't take it personally, Sakura… Ilya is just used to very excess things." I knock on the entrance of the Tohsaka house and wait. "Nobody's answering…"

"Onii-chan, this is pointless. No magus worth anything would come out from their workshop and home. It's dangerous to even be near it, as they are the strongest within their homes. ...Be careful…"

"Really? Well, I think Tohsaka's different. Don't worry, she won't hurt me..." I knock once more. No one is answering, and it looks dark inside.

Ilya facepalms. "Hah… Onii-chan is the naive one."

I continue to knock and knock. "Don't worry, Ilya. Tohsaka is a nice girl once you get to know her. She is my best friend."

"I thought that Sakura-chan was your best friend?"

"...They're both my best friends." I do not know what friendship is, but it seems to make them somewhat happy when I say that so I do. "You'll like Tohsaka..."

Ilya and Tohsaka… Those two are the real devils in disguise.

Though when I look back, Ilya seems disappointed. "I already met Tohsaka-san, so you don't have to worry about me. She came over the day you slept in, and we talked. She had some surprising manners considering she is from this barbaric land." That was surprisingly tolerant of Ilya.

Why was it so hard with Sakura, when she could go along with Tohsaka? "I… had no idea that you did…" Just then, my hand pushed on the door and it moved. "Ah… It opened." The door creaked angrily open with no one inside.

This house itself was a displeased and isolated place, reluctantly opening to my persistent knocking.

The path was dark, but I could see clearly even in the darkening sky.

Ilya teased. "What will you do now? She's nowhere to be seen. This is a message that she has gone mad, let's go."

"Well, I'm going in."

"What? Onii-chan, you know that entering another magi's home without permission is like a death sentence, don't you?"

"That's no problem. Tohsaka gave me her permission."

The two froze behind me. "She has…?" They ask in unison.

"Yeah… We were in her room alone, and well… It's a long story, but basically, I'm sort of her butler now. Haha." I laugh nervously to my silent and horrified crowd. "Remember that, Sakura?" I turn to find no support from my usual ally.

"Senpai… Nee-san… Unforgivable." She gives her disapproval in her whispers, and deadened eyes return to haunt me.

She was there too, but she seemed to see it as an act of blackmail by Tohsaka.

Ilya holds her head like there is a fever in her. "...To think that I really have such a hopeless Onii-chan. He's further compromised than originally thought..."

"It was the right decision to make at the time I made it." When I saw her face when she saw how her father was killed… I knew that I couldn't leave her alone. "You can come with me, we can all invite her together." I feel a bit afraid of being alone with Tohsaka for the first time since… a long long time.

Ilya regards me as a baby, "D-Don't say such a stupid thing…! The heir of Einzbern will not go into Tohsaka's house!"

Sakura and Ilya form a united front for the first time, it seems like. "Ilya-san is correct, Senpai. ...I am not welcome in this house."

...What use is friendship anyways when it simply turns to this betrayal? I promise never to find friendship. I don't really need it. I don't…

When I walk into these doors, I already know that this penalty falls apart soon enough.

It has been a long time coming that I will come to understand what that word has meant all this time.

I walk away into the dark halls of the Tohsaka house, and the door closes behind me.

As I walk up to the shadow of Rin's door, I am attacked. I dodge it only barely. "Go away! I'll kill you!" The pillow hits the door.

'Hah… That's Tohsaka, alright…' Only a true friend would go past this point. I know this because this situation is so familiar that even I know it is the true test of friendship in any tale. To enter the lair of a beast in order to do what is right, even at the risk and promise of certain death.

It's 50-50 that a bolt of magic will come out of Tohsaka's hands and fry me…

She's one that likes to keep her word, after all.

But there's also the fact she tends to mean the opposite of what she says… 'Please come in! I want to embrace you!'

No...! Very bad thoughts...

The concept of friendship forms in my mind, and I finally receive its contents in my brain. I know that this is the feeling that is pervasive between me and Sakura and Tohsaka. It is like the mind finally growing up and learning what an emotion signifies. It doesn't mean I quite understand true friendship suddenly or anything, more like I guess this is what friendship is like more or less.

We are friends… without a doubt… and that makes me a bit sad. It's another lost layer to this miracle. "I'm coming in."

As I open the door to her, I am hit on my head. But I don't die or really become injured, it's just a nuisance. "...You threw your pillow at me."

"Of course, I would defend myself from this! My room is sacred. It's not for a boy to be in!" I've been inside before. I even cleaned it once.

"...Sorry, Tohsaka. I can't just leave you alone."

"Baka! Emiya-kun, I swear... don't do this with anyone but me, others don't get you like I do..." She blushed at her own words. "Stupid, don't make me admit that...! Hah, You are the worst of them all… How did you even get in here?"

"The door opened. I thought you opened it."

"Did it…? Well… the house is old." I think that Mom said once that Magi who are old enough can leave some of their spirit in a place as a guardian spirit. Not so much like a haunting ghost, as much a subtle feeling and wind.

"Sakura and Ilyasviel are outside, and we must all go meet together at my house. ...I'm making dinner."

She peeks out her window like a recluse to see Sakura pointing out the town you can see from up here. "Illyasviel? Yes, I met that girl… To think that all this time you were of the Von Einzbern family…! Grrrr, I should have killed you at first sight!"

"...That's a bit harsh, isn't it?"

"No. Not really. I didn't sense you were a magus all this time, or an Einzbern at that! I didn't sense your mother's evil either, and I still am bewildered on many things. I am a failure of a Tohsaka, unfortunately." She acknowledged it to herself because she knew she had to regain her spirit of perfection. "The mage's association will probably arrive and just put an end to this madness... But I will not stop what my ancestors started because of this small problem."

I could see the crack in her heart. It was that priest that still stung her — him and that golden man. Mom was the message, but she didn't do anything but force Tohsaka to face it directly.

"Well, You don't have to worry about new mages. Mom and Dad will take care of that. They said that the association is no problem."

"Ah… that's even worse. I know enough of that witch of a mother you have that it will be trouble for me. ...You have a real sick family, Shirou."

Yeah, I have a messy family situation, but… "I'd rather have a sick family than none at all. ...And I include you in that too."

That leaves her speechless until she turns red in wrath, but also embarrassment. "W-what...? Die!" She bashes me with her pillow. Though it's not filled with rocks, it does hurt. Tohsaka prefers pain rather than injury as her main use of force. "Baka, Emiya-kun! Idiot!"

She had her fun bashing me as I tried in vain to defend myself from her attacks.

"What did I do wrong...?" But my killer said nothing. She was having too much fun finding new ways to swing her pillow.

It was actually exhausting, as I underestimated the level of speed and energy Tohsaka really would employ in running after me in her own room. I catch my breath after it is over. "Hah… Hah... It's just like Mom said."

"Hah… Wha-What did your Mom say, Emiya-kun?" She finally calmed down. That was the most fun we'd had... maybe ever.

"...She warned me not to let you just let out your anger on me, but it seems that I did just that."

"...Oh." Finally, a sad look tore the angry facade down, and that anger turned to ash. I took that ash into myself and would take that anger on myself. It's better with me than her. "Why are you really here, Emiya-kun? Are you seriously calling for some dinner?"

"You said to come home for you, so I am. I think that I can even convince Mom to let us go to school, and she could be your teacher. ...Sorry, I just thought I would keep my promise to you."

"...Hmm, I see." She said surprisingly calmly. "Words are one thing, but you have to do it, rather than just promising it. Let's see if you can bring me what I need. That's what I've noticed about you, Emiya-kun: you love to make so many promises that you can't possibly keep up with them all. And do you know what the worst part is?"

"No..."

"It's the fact you believe in all of them. You seriously think that you can just keep all your promises, and you'll never have to decide between two of them."

She had the same words as Kiritsugu. The same thing I deny. "Well… I'm on your side. I don't see why I can not be on others as well."

She was red for a moment, before finding a toying smile. She gave an unnerving laugh. "Hehe. That's right, Emiya-kun. You have no choice in that matter. Your loyalty is already mine."

"Tohsaka… you don't seem mad anymore?" Is this the right Tohsaka? I felt a very bad premonition. She was teasing me, and I knew that spelled danger. "Do you need anything? I could make you tea? I can clean right now, how about I wait outside..."

I try backing away, but she walks at me at the same pace.

That seems to aggravate her further. "Wait right there, Shirou. I've turned a new leaf, as I've now let out all my anger on you. Well, It's your fault for being so easy to hate in the first place! Hmph, let it be known that I am a very forgiving master."

I must go along with this in the hope I can escape… But I know it's too late. I am in her den, and she is about to entrap me.

"Of course..."

"So don't take it too personally when I complain or am angry! it's just me… removing my, ah, warranted anger."

"I see… I understand." It seems dubious, but I think taking everything she says at her word is better than denying her. "It's only natural…"

"You always say that. Well, I have a present for you, Emiya-kun. See, I have this notebook for you." It's a written and messy set of rules and dates and outlines for the future. I don't get it at first until I see my own name assigned to different tasks. "This is my expectations list."

Tasks range from cleaning her home every Saturday, to helping her study as an assistant every Wednesday.

"T-Tohsaka… This is... this goes four years into advance…!" My life flashed before my eyes. In my mind's eye, all I could see was her laughing at me until I died young and out of energy. It was over at the very beginning, my life was over.

"Hehe. I'm glad you noticed." Her devilish smile made me wish for Ilya's, who I at least felt like she was on my side. With Tohsaka… it's more like she's made it, so I'm on her side. "That face of yours is finally receiving its just due. It's only fair considering how troublesome he has been to me these past months. I've lost a teacher and fallen behind on my magic. If you're my payment for that, then you're going to take responsibility to a full extent."

This is the rejuvenated Tohsaka, finally ready to move once more into the future. That is all well and good, but why is it that it seems like I'm the one that is going to be carrying her things?

"Ha-ha-ha!" I think Tohsaka had taken some bad cues from Mom on how to be a witch… With her luggage of stuff in my hands, I barely can make it out of that narrow house. "Ah, it is a good day~" Tohsaka yawns.

I hold my hand out as I stumble in the light she has probably forsaken these past days studying up all the magic stuff she missed in those months of hollowness. "Need a hand?"

"No. …Geez, you're usually rough, but you're really careful in the stupidest things, idiot."

The four of us finally meet in one place.

"Ah, Senpai… and Tohsaka-senpai, you're here..." Sakura was still pointing out things to Ilya, who seemed to have been playing around with Sakura.

"Hello, Sakura. Have you been doing well this last week?" Tohsaka treated her like a nice senpai. Sometimes I can actually sort of see them as siblings depending on the light. Considering we all lived together for a few months – even if it felt more like a few days – they are a good fit. If only they would be less formal with one another, as if all they ever rise to is the senpai - kouhai relationship. That's just my idle wishing.

"Oh, yes… It's been fine." The interaction was as weird as ever. For two people who felt like they knew one another well, and complimented the other personality, they never seemed to say much past the surface level of things.

"Excellent. And you, Von Einzbern, are you well? It seems that we meet once more, all in together now."

Ilya curtsies politely and perfectly. "Yes, once more I greet you, heir of Tohsaka. It seems that you were not lying to be another one of Shirou's acquaintances. You may call me Ilya."

"Sure, Ilya. Hmph, and it seems you were not lying about being his sister. The Einzberns must have fallen quite far if you're here too looking for my safety."

"...Think what you will, Tohsaka. We have never been better off, I think. For one, I actually have a loving family. I have an Onii-chan. Feel free to be jealous~"

Tohsaka has a cold face, but it subtly tightens as she crosses her arms in a defensive posture. "Hmph, as if I care… Shall we get this over with?"

Ilya didn't know that Tohsaka and I were connected in a certain binding agreement. I was sure that she had no idea about that.

She was walking into the red devil's trap. "Yes, let us have this meeting or whatever, then I can be rid of you."

We went home without a single word said. Again… Why am I carrying Tohsaka's things again?

"I'll cook dinner tonight. There's nothing like soba to celebrate a move in." Tohsaka declared and did just that.

My tongue felt stuck in my throat, as an impulse to just let her have her way won.

Tohsaka made dinner by herself after that. I was forced to watch her supplant me and take it over easily like some conquerer in my precious kitchen.

I hate to say it, but it tasted better than mine. Sakura might just be even with her in Western food, her speciality.

"You're- so good at cooking, Tohsaka-senpai…." Sakura was torn apart in shock, and she started eating silently.

I couldn't do anything extra because I was worried about things like Tohsaka's food, the fact that I'm eating Tohsaka's handmade meal, Mom's dejection, Fuji-nee's snoring, Ilya's tension, and Sakura's tension.

As a result, I couldn't taste how good Tohsaka's meal was. I was just made to realize how perfect Tohsaka is throughout the hour.

I make no excuses: I am a failure of a chef and must restart from the beginning. I will become a trainee with Sakura and one day maybe beat Tohsaka once more. I am becoming good for nothing like Fuji-nee. Speaking of Fuji-nee... I found her home and somehow lived in peace with Irisviel. She was asleep like a cat on Mom's lap. Mom stroked her like one too, and It was about the strangest scene I've ever seen.

Tohsaka explained that since they share the same absent master, they can share in the same loneliness. Just like a cat and a wife would for a husband. I wouldn't put it past Fuji-nee to act as a literal cat if she could.

Ilya was having none of it and kicked Taiga, whom she didn't even know, away and took her proper spot in Mom's lap. Taiga woke up, but when she saw Ilya and Iri, she passed out again, seeing now two of them. "I don't really like cats, Mom. Can't we get rid of her?" But I kept her safe from Ilya.

It was the sort of first interaction that I should have expected between Taiga and Ilya. Ilya took after Mom quite a bit after all.

Back to dinner itself. After Tohsaka displayed her skill in cooking and making sure that Taiga was fast asleep, we began this first meeting of the five of us.

Dad said that more than one magus together was a rarity. I imagine that five having dinner together is completely unheard of. But you could also say that there are four magi here, and one -

So…

"Let us start our meeting! All my little babies in one spot, and it is a good dinner, Tohsaka-chan!" Mom happily declared. "Hmm, First on the curriculum... Oh! The school thing, let us talk about that! That sound important."

"Mom... You took us out of school because you wanted to keep us all in one place. But that's no longer needed, right? You don't have to keep us here all the time, so I think it's time for us to go back to real school now."

Tohsaka concurred. "I have too many complaints to even begin. I will not accept homeschooling from you for another minute." Tohsaka blushed. "Your lessons were not needed..."

Mom moped. "Hah... No one appreciates me, but that is how a being mother is... Fine, you can go to your school! The new school year starts next month, and you can start them. What grade do you want to be in, Ilya?"

'She knew all that?' Mom was being uncharacteristically helpful. Was this a result of her change to becoming a full homunculus? Yes. The body itself was Irisviel, and the level of others is lower than before.

Ilya was confused. "Grade? I'll be sitting next to Shirou, of course."

"Well... That's not a grade..." I corrected. I was embarrassed because Ilya was showing her... clinginess off to Tohsaka. Sakura had seen enough to have come to accept it... mostly.

"Oh. Err, what is a grade?"

"Hah. It is obvious that Ilyasviel is too young to be in our grade. She should be our junior, correct?" Tohsaka asserted.

"What? I'm not your junior! No! I'm going to be in Shirou's class. ...You just want him for yourself." Ilya was outraged. But she was younger than me.

"Ilya... A little sister can't be in her big brother's class. It's against the rules." Mom added. There was no rule, but it would look very weird to everyone.

"I don't like school, then." She was already in tantrum mode. "I won't go."

Compromise on. "Ilya, you could still find me even if we're not in the same class. Do you know that I'm not in Tohsaka's or Sakura's class either? We can find each other at lunchtime."

"Hmm... hmm... maybe I will be alright with it. Fine. It's alright as long as these two are not alone with you."

That was enough for school. I actually missed it a little...

Tohsaka was ready to talk about what she actually cared about. "I furthermore demand that you take up my magic teaching."

"Yes yes, I already promised. I'll teach you the best I can. That priest was a no-good man, but he was a good teacher, wasn't he? You can be the same, but my magic is a bit... different. Tohsaka are jewel mages, right? Alchemy is similar. The difference and explanation of that transference between energy and objects is..." Mom may never talk much about magic now, but as she used to be my teacher, I know that she is a genius. Mom and Ilya and Tohsaka started to talk about big words and stuff that I didn't get.

Sakura and I didn't actually care. I was still thinking about how to salvage my cooking profession into the future.

Tohsaka listened attentively until Mom grew bored. Irisviel is a magical genius that hates magic. "Meh, that's all for now. I can only stomach magic talk for so long. Let's talk about something fun! Ilya, how did you like your bed on that first night here? " Mom asked her in front of everyone.

Ilya had red cheeks and smiled. "I… liked it. It was… just like you said, Mom. Like a warm water bottle that is better than any pillow or blanket." Better than any pillow? Hmm… that sounds nice, and maybe I could get one for Taiga so she would stop sleeping in bad form.

"What do you think, Ilya? It's your wish to make, do you like what I gave you for warmth?" That's good if Ilya got a special blanket or something to keep her warm since she said she hated the cold. "Because when your father returns, sometimes we need some… privacy. You can't always be with Mommy and Daddy."

"I know. I-I think that… I actually liked the first night the best. Could I stay there forever?" She eyed me.

"Uh, well… sure. Of course, whatever Ilya is happy with." I don't know why they asked me because of course, I'd say yes to Ilya being happy.

It is my purpose to be her big brother. She is my little sister. She was born after me.

"Then it's settled then! Ilya will be sleeping with Shirou in his futon from now on!" Mom clapped her hands, and our hearts froze. All but Ilya who had a triumphant smile.

"H-huh?" That was what that first night was? This was what was being discussed?

"Y-you can't do that!" Someone interjected.

...All eyes turned to Sakura. "And why not? He is my Onii-chan. What say do you have in our relationship?"

"Sakura has a point. This is inappropriate a-and immature...!" Tohsaka supported Sakura without thinking. "Unfit for your age, even as siblings!"

"Hehe. All I hear is the tears of defeat, don't worry. Soon you'll forget all about Shirou anyways. Sakura, you are no longer welcome at my new room, okay~?"

What was making Ilya so delighted was making Sakura despair and Tohsaka outraged?

Why did they have so much emotional attachment to this? I didn't know they were so moral… but I knew it was wrong to let this go any further.

"That's enough, Ilya… you can't say that about Sakura. She is always welcome to come to find me.."

Ilya pouted. "Onii-chan…? Why are you defending her?"

I made a promise to them both.

"No one can bully her if I am there." She looks down, guilty. It makes me feel a little bad, thinking I've been mean with her. "Sorry, Ilya. It is just a very important thing for me. Listen to your older brother, it is no good to bully."

"Senpai…" Sakura smiles shyly, and Tohsaka shakes her head in both relief and precarious envy. maybe it's just the rivalry of three girls the same age? A boy wouldn't get it, I guess.

Ilya stares back at me, hurt, confused and betrayed. "You… really care about this girl, Onii-chan? Where did I go wrong?" Ilya became dejected. "This is my betrayal then: Onii-chan was lost from the start. He's become a deceiver like Kiritsugu..."

Ilya had Mom to cheer her up. "Hihihihi… It seems that both Sakura-chan and Rin-chan have a head start on you, but are you going to let them snatched away your prize? You are fine with letting them sink their claws in this family and eating it? Where is the true Ilya, the one who is mighty? Will you break? Or will you show your magical girl power!?"

I lost track of what was being fought over a long time ago, but these girls seemed to be highly concentrated on it. I was not sure what exactly the competition was over, but I was excited to win. What would I get?

A new kitchen knife or a broom would be nice.

Light returns to Ilya's eyes, "No! I won't let that happen! I won't let my family be eaten!" Resolve to win. She is silver, holding potential in magic beyond anyone in this entire generation of magi. The sort of girl others would look up to. A shining, radiant star.

"Hehe, yes! Let's make it a contest!" Mom declared.

Ilya began to look like a real spoiled princess being told that she can't have anything she wants for the first time. "But I called him first! Onii-chan was made for me! I win by default." Ilya declares first as the other two are like me and catching up to this strangeness.

Tohsaka keeps her cool and states her own claim to this competition. "Ahem, That is not exactly true, Ilyasviel. Shirou-kun has a bound-in-blood contract asserting that he is my servant. That was the first."

"S-Senpai said that h-he was going to let me be with him f-forever. T-that was first!" That wasn't exactly what I said but close in spirit.

"I met him first..." Fuji-nee added while still sleeping. Luckily they ignored her, and she stayed in her rest.

Deathly red eyes turned towards the two girls. As Mom cleaned Ilya's hair indulgently, Ilya gave an evil eye of scorn at them and crossed her arms in an angry pout. Her anger reached levels that we're rarely seen. This was the first time in her entire life she was being denied something.

My plan of friendship between us had definitely turned to ash, as Mom used her evil speech to create discord.

It was tense.

I felt like this had something to do with me here. "Well... Do I get to compete?"

They responded in unison. "No!" That was the single thing they all agreed on. I was shushed as if I was given no say at all.

Where did I go wrong? What path led me here, and not to heroism? ...Mom's face, which was like that of one watching comedy theatre, would know. She enjoyed this sort of fight. She enjoyed this more than anything.

Ilya finally broke under the tension. "Hah... I… I can make a compromise. I am, of course, the most mature." Ilya receded under duress by the combined assault of Tohsaka and Sakura. "...I've learned of Onii-chan's helplessness, so I will allow you to remain. You people can stay if you are his 'friends' and not mere parasites. But I will get him at night, and we will walk to school together!" Her 'compromise' was just her getting what she wanted. She leapt from Mom over to me and landed on top of me. "Right, Onii-chan~?" Her bewitching eyes filled my vision, and my body was frozen under them.

"Uhhhhhhh…" Out of the problems I've ever been faced with, this one was the one my resolve meant nothing against. I melted.

"You and I will be in the same bed from now on, right? You'll keep me safe, right?" It drew closer and closer, her face and eyes and mouth were an inch away by the time that Sakura pulled her away just before her lips met mine. "No...! I was so close!"

Thinking about it, I should take responsibility. She is being like this because of my inaction.

I am a big brother here, "I… Alright… You win, Ilya." I took her off of me to her surprise. Her enchantment breaks as my eyes easily overpower hers. "I'll let you stay In my room. But there will be two futons."

"Yayyyy! I win!" She twirled around the table.

The other two were outraged. "D-did you bewitch him, Ilya-san? I'll save you senpai... I won't hold back on this...! This is all I have." The air darkens around Sakura as power surges in the room.

"No~ He said it of his own volition. My eyes didn't even hold for very long against Onii-chan. He's very strong, yet so kind! He-he-he." She stood triumphant.

"Mystic eyes? That's cheating!" Tohsaka decried.

"Oh? Just because your family is so lowborn they don't have mystic eyes doesn't mean I can't use mine. All fair in love and war." The insults began again.

Tohsaka's eye twitched, and Sakura's hair came over her face, drawing a shadow over herself. This was my evening. Why must we always fight, can't we all share and be friends? But this is humanity, and it seems to be inescapable. That does make me have a funny feeling in my stomach.

"Perfect, perfect. Everyone seems happy! But remember, I'll be teaching you all magic after school on Tuesdays and Fridays! I can not do more. Oh, and I guess that since Sakura had her reservations about the whole bedroom thing, she and Ilya can be in the same class."

The chaos died down. "I guess that is acceptable... That's why I had Emiya-kun take my things here. I will stay over on some days. Will you be teaching us all? I will not reveal my secrets." She made a glance at Sakura for but a moment that gave off a distant pain.

"Yes, yes. Tohsaka, Sakura, Ilya, and Shirou, you are all my students. Ilya is my heir, and Shirou is my longest student. I don't really care about your magics, in fact, I already know all about them. Who do you think helped to teach the Tohsaka and Makiri in the first place? Ah, well... let's be done with this... I am already quite tired." Mom requires lots of sleep to sustain her high energy consumption. I supplied her less than before and she used less, but she also has much lower reserves.

I helped put both Mom and Taiga to bed. Then I awkwardly did the dishes with Tohsaka and Sakura, and Ilya tore me away back to my... our... room. Sakura tried to stop her, but Tohsaka seemed to say something, and they stayed behind to finish alone.

I heard it only for a moment before I was whisked away. "Sakura, we need to talk."

"C-can I hold your hand?" Our futons were next to the other. In the end, after all the fuss, it wasn't so bad... This is a common thing among siblings I think.

'Ahh...' In my head, I feel pain as if there is a lost memory. Is there a lost memory similar to this? No. No... siblings are not something I have had in this life. This is the first time.

"...Yeah." That's okay. I hold my hand out.

Ilya took it in hers. "It's a big hand... Why are you so big for your age when I'm so small...?"

"Girls are smaller. You'll grow up to look like Mom probably." Mom was not so tall, but with some hearty foods, I bet Ilya will grow big.

We had futons that combined as one. It was warmer than it usually was in winter like this. "Ah... I like this, Shirou... I really do..." She murmured, "You work so hard, and receive no credit. I don't really get it..."

"I do receive, Ilya. To see your smiling face is worth any price, so don't worry about it." I hate that she feels somehow that her enjoyment is bad. It is her enjoyment that makes all this worth it in the first place.

This girl was drawing closer and closer to me. There were no more words and she fell asleep by rolling all the way over next to me as if her body naturally moved towards a heat source. All that separated us were the blankets.

She was a good girl, cursed in her heart by the cold. I sensed great fear in her that controlled her every movement. Even in happiness, when she is playing she has it. But instead of moping about it she instead pushes herself to make excitement even more. ...That could be what she gets from Kiritsugu. He was the sort who enjoys going to limit on things.

We all have curses that we wear of our making. Ilya was lonely, Sakura was nervous, Tohsaka was mad, Irisviel was desperate, and Kirisugu was regretful. There is nothing special about that. There is no need for a devil to explain that.

This is what siblings do.

So the solution is not difficult to find... I hold her closer and protect her from the cold.

It snowed one last time, just on the day before Spring. A gentle, and kind sort of snow that Ilya smiled at, instead of frowned. These were good days.

It was the turning of temperature, and soo Ilya would know the sweet cool winds of summer. She would see the sakura in full blossom in spring. The changing colours, and falling leaves of the Autumn. And the true snowfall of another winter.

I hope this life would go on forever. We would be happy because I think we deserve it. Endless days of everyday: that is what I always wanted.

it was that day that mom, like a sleuth, predicted her life that today he'd be here. Kiritsugu would return according to her for the first time in what was more or less a month.

I am waiting in the shed for Kiritsugu to return, calming myself with the daily routine I still held onto despite all the rest I had to do every day. Everyday is: Entertaining and looking after Ilya, teaching both Mom and Sakura how to cook, assisting Tohsaka and helping her with chores, and practising here in the shed. This was my form of learning magic, and I know that I had already learned what I needed to from Mom. Alll happened so fast, and it feels like it is just a natural thing for me.

Is this what it feels like to have a good life? EVeRyOnE is HaPpY.

Mom teaches us individually because we are all different. I had no more use for that sort of studying, so Mom gave me some pointers, such as to stop electrocuting myself with my own circuit. But that is hard, as I still use it a lot to sustain the power of Mom's soul. I am still pushing myself quite hard each day, and must keep my muscles loose.

The rest do their own thing, and Sakura was the only one who really had no idea what to do. Tohsaka asked Mom so many questions that I didn't understand that I mostly gave up on the idea of being a real magus good at everything. I thought I was smart but it turns out that I am a novice at everything but these few things I can do. Mom said not to say what those were.

Sakura said that she wanted to learn, but it felt almost... under duress. As if she was doing it even though she hated it. But I'd like to think she would say something to me if it was something I could help with. ...Trust? Is that what trust is?

"Trace on." After readying myself, I find something that my mind thinks about often. A sword in my mind that is painful as a wound. It is not hard to find, but it is hard to focus on for long. It's a no-good weapon.

Zarich and Tawrich

They have no true history… I hate them. I love them. I am drawn to them, and cannot escape them. I don't want to let them leave my mind, even if they mean nothing. Nothing means a lot to me...

In form, they are more meant to be thrown, as they are almost sharp on all sides. Even holding them gives off the pain, and looking at them, you can hear the cries of curses. I hate it.

They are the swords of Angra Mainyu, who never used them, and never even killed a single person.

I cannot escape it. These curses follow me everywhere I go, and at least with these blades, I can finally come into contact with it. "Why?" Why do you want to be born so much? The world has enough evil in it.

"...!" Yet they never stop. The material of these blades is cursed itself. If they are not from true history, then who made them? In what forge? My head wants to know that just by looking at it. But it is not real.

I want to know where fake things are from. I want to know!

Eventually, my anger explodes the projections to bits. The longer you hold those blades near, the more aggravated they will make you. You can't help but want to stab others and share your pain with them.

I hate them.

I wonder about other swords. In the dark... I can find one, deep and covered in darkness.

Even if there's a storm exploding next to it, it shines bravely.

It makes me smile.

I yearn to... touch it. To at least see it with my real eyes, rather than my mind's eye.

Something Like it is something that would complete me. It would heal rather than hurt.

...A sword that is beyond me to carry. The brilliance is the golden blue lining to it. It is too good for me.

I am still waiting for my time. That is a sword of selection and could be carried by someone great like a king.

After I fantasize about that, I leave the shed a bit numb. Magic draws much out of its user. I stretch to counter that and later come back to welcome Dad home.

Mom surprised Dad by making it look like a dark and almost abandoned house, then jumped on him while pulling us into a mess of a hug. I'm sure he hated it, but I couldn't really catch his emotions in this. I was too worried by Ilya's conflicted look. She finally had her time to confront the man she hated the most (without killing him). The man she likely loved the most as well...

Kiritsugu returned with his eyes shining with life, and… a faint and distant hope.

Ilya held me on tight all day after that and it was… nice. I still don't know how to describe it. She slept next to me and it really was warm. Funny how a single person added to a life can change so much for so many.

"Rejoice, Father. This is a wish you never thought you would see."

The day after was the first day of spring. And a month would our first day of school.

Author's notes:

We all love our happy slice-of-life comedy don't we? Or not? Don't worry, iT's ToTAllY gOinG to LaSt FoRevEr

I got sick in the middle of writing this, but I finished.

That's 2-4 more chapters of act2, then act three after that.

Shirou has selective memory. He changes his memory to best fit the current situation, and to cope with all the general trauma in there. That's why he sort of denies the Sakura-Tohsaka connection, and straight-up rewrites himself to treat Ilya like a little sister. Is Shirou Angra Mainyu? That's an irrelevant and obvious question. Of course, he is not Angra, Angra is not real.

The next chapter should be more about Ilya and kiritsugu, Ilya and Taiga. School stuff maybe. I probably won't explain what Tohsaka said to Sakura, but you can imagine it is similar to what she said at the beginning of Fate. Tohsaka is not at all in the mindset that would let her accept Sakura, so even in this closeness, there is a deep divide.

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