All Saints Wake Surprise
By Remumu Remu
Hello again dear readers. I hope you are all having a fun-filled All Saints Wake.
I know I did. And yes I know what you are all thinking. "Remumu, you are a reporter for the Harbour Herald. They don't cover All Saints Wake. The last time you did that, you got into a fight with that amateurish brat from The Raven."
And yes, you'd be right. Only this is a special case, for two weeks ago a certain someone offered to let me interview them about a certain development.
And yes dear readers, I am talking about the revelation that Eorzea's very own Warrior of Light, Naruko Uzumaki and the Sultana of Ul'dah, Nanamo Ul Namo are in a romantic relationship.
Two weeks ago the Harbour Herald office was visited by Her Grace whilst she was here in Limsa Lominsa for a meeting(a cover story, she was actually there to surprise Naruko for her nameday/birthday, but shhh.. you didn't hear it from me.) and she decided to pay a visit to our humble place of business.
And boy oh boy, you should have seen the Chief's face!
But anyway, to spare you the details. Her Grace came to our little office in person to tell us that She and Naruko were willing to do an interview about their relationship… and they wanted me to do it.
So twelve days later and at the All Saints Wake festivities in Gridania no less, was I able to finally, FINALLY do the interview we've all been waiting for!
And just to avoid the possibility of offending our Ul'dahn readers. Yes, Her Grace insisted I refer to her by name instead of title during the interview.
Remumu: So.. I guess the first question I have to ask is, how did your relationship start? Was it love at first sight? Or perhaps was it more a slow burn kind of situation?
Nanamo: Yes Naruko. Was it love at first sight~
Naruko:No. Not really. If anything, I'm pretty sure we hated each other initially.
Remumu: Truly?
Naruko: Yeah… though, the 'hate' kinda dissipated after our second meeting.
Nanamo: To clarify, when we first met it was due to Papashan asking a favour of her. This inevitably led to her escorting me from the Sultantree back to the Dispatch Yard… where I may or may not have started an argument with her.
Remumu: What was it about?
Nanamo:... It was so stupid really.. I was stressing over a situation that had occurred and wished for privacy. Only for Naruko to turn up at Papashan's behest to escort me.. however shortly after she arrived, we were accosted by some lesser Voidsent. Luckily, Thancred was passing through the area on Scion business and he lent a hand.. not that Naruko needed it mind you.
Naruko: I don't know. I was still a bit out of sorts from that spell Loisoux used that flung me forward five years.
Nanamo: Afterwards, I wished to walk back alone but Naruko insisted on escorting me back… sadly, I may or may not have said some rather.. hurtful things to her in the process.
Though it didn't actually come to a head until we actually arrived. Naruko had enough and bit back by calling me a spoiled brat and I called her a.. well….
Naruko: Nanamo… you don't have to go into full details.
Nanamo: Well I think it's better to get this off my chest… so as I was saying. The argument ended up coming to a head when a pushed an empty barrel up to Naruko, stood on it and proceeded to call her a whore who would be better off selling herself rather than being an Adventurer.
Remumu: Oh wow.. That's kinda harsh.
Nanamo: Well she got me back for it.
Remumu: How so?
Nanamo: She punched me right in the face
Remumu: W-what!? Naruko, how the hell are you still alive!?
Naruko:I ask myself that question everyday
Nanamo:One moment I was smugly thinking I'd won the argument, the next I was on my back roughly ten fulms away. My guards then proceeded to dogpile Naruko.
Remumu: Wow…
Naruko:Funnily enough, I didn't even know it was her until that banquet that was held when I helped recover the crown from the Alacran… still not sure how they managed to cause so much trouble, they were kinda incompetent.
Remumu: How?
Nanamo: I had been traveling incognito at the time.
Naruko: Didn't know it was her until I saw her at the banquet a week later.. not gonna lie, when Raubahn pulled me aside I damn near pissed myself.
Remumu: I bet.
Nanamo: You also nearly choked on those little pastries you were stuffing into your mouth.
Naruko: Oh ha ha.
Remumu: Alright then. Next question. Naruko, there have been rumours that you were once part of the XIVth legion. Is any of that true? Not that I'm judging that is.. it's just the rumours...
Naruko: It is. I was conscripted in Werlyt when I was fifteen and served in Gyr Abania for around four, nearly five years. I abandoned my post and slipped across border about a year before the calamity.
Nanamo: And before you ask, yes I knew and no she has zero loyalty to Garlemald. She never did. The rumours that she was part of some elite assassination unit was a fallacy derived from Teledji Adeledji to break what trust Naruko had created with the Scions… something that angers me as it had worked.
Naruko: Nanamo...
Remumu: I'm not surprised. The XIVth is primarily made up of conscripts after all.
Remumu: So what exactly did you do while apart of the XIVth?
Naruko: Hmm.. I was a runner for the first two years. After that I was put in the engineering section as an assistant for around seven months.. then I was transferred to a scouting unit. After that I got put on permanent guard duty in the Ala Mhigan district in Ala Mhigo.
Remumu: Huh.. that's nothing like the rumours. Well if anything it's good to have cleared it...
Remumu: Wait, you said you were conscripted in Werlyt? Aren't you Doman?
Naruko: I am…
Remumu:Oh… oooh.. ok uhh next question.
A full digest of the questions and answers shall be in next week's issue. My apologies, but not only were there many, but some answers are not suitable for this festive issue.
After the various questions, Naruko and Nanamo asked me to join them for the festivities. It was a night full of fun, frights and various sweets.
I myself was donning a rather cute witch outfit that I had prepared in advance(I actually was supposed to be going to the festival on a date.. but said ingrate decided to cancel)
Her Grace was wearing an interesting costume herself. She was clad in a slightly frayed tabard, a ripped pair of shorts, torn stockings and worn boots. Along with that she wore a slight bit of makeup to provide a battle worn look to her but also to give her the appearance of a deathlike pallor, along with a blunted short sword splashed with dark corn syrup(there were also some droplets on her face and attire.. a truly haunting visage)
She said she was dressed as a fallen adventure brought back by a Necromancer.
And as for Naruko?
Her outfit was that of the Necromancer. It was what you'd expect. An old ratty robe, and a menacing staff…
Except it wasn't!
She was clad in a flowing black and purple robe that had a deeply plunging neck that went down to just above her navel. Adorned on the shoulders and down the v line was lined with a deep purple fur and at the cuff of the rather long sleeves were ornate symbols embroidered on the fabric. And along the left side was a deep slit exposing her leg.
Speaking of her legs, they were clad in stockings that matched the robe perfectly due to their shared design and a pair of heeled thigh high boots that were of dark leather.
Finally, her outfit was finished with a staff that was black as night, to which at the top was possibly the skull of some manner of beast with a glowing purple sphere affixed in its maw.
Quite frankly I felt extremely underdressed and a slight bit jealous of Nanamo… also, I'm pretty sure that staff was whispering things.
Anyway, after we had gotten ourselves situated the night went along swimmingly. I had the chance to ask the both of them some one on one questions throughout the night(you'll see them next issue)
Personally, I feel as if I now have a deeper understanding about Naruko and the struggles she faces. On the outside she is a strong if somewhat blunt woman. But on the inside she is the sweetest person you'd ever meet.
For example, whilst we were traversing the haunted house in pursuit of scares and pumpkin cookies we stumbled across a young Miqo'te girl clad in a pink robe and an off centre pointed hat who had gotten separated from her friends and was huddled in a corner afraid.
So Naruko being the hero she is, gently approached the young girl and coaxed her from the corner. An act that swiftly resulted in the child scampering over to Naruko and clutching her tightly.
Naruko then proceeded to hoist the young girl up into her arms and carry her all the way out of the 'haunted' manor. Outside we were greeted by a small group of children being chaperoned by a young Miqo'te lady who seemed very panicked.
And after a short exchange that was full of hasty thank you's, hugs from the children.. and a few somewhat scolding words to the chaperone from Naruko about how she should have been keeping her eye on the children instead of daydreaming about pineapple pudding.
The night ended with not much else. We wondered about the faire grounds, partaking in games and trickery for sweet treats and such before retiring to Naruko's home in the Lavender Beds.
Thank you all for reading and I wish you all a happy and festive All Saints Wake.
The Outfits
"How do I look? Is it spooky enough?" Nanamo asked as she stood in front of Remumu.
The blonde Lalafell stared at the Sultana of Ul'dah in shock. "I uhh… well Your-"
Nanamo held a hand up "Upupup what did I say?"
"T-to not refer to you by title?" Nanamo gave her an exuberant thumbs up.
"W-well ok then… you look like a corpse." Remumu said hastily before squeezing her eyes shut for the inevitable barrage of angry words.
"Aha yes!" Nanamo cheered, "That's exactly the look I was going for."
Remumu staggered back in shock "What?"
Nanamo let out a small giggle "It's mine and Naruko's theme. She's the Necromancer and I'm the undead thrall."
Ah. That explained it.
"Your outfit is quite cute by the way."
Remumu blushed softly, "I-it's nothing special." She said shyly.
*clack* *clack* *clack*
"Well ladies, how do I look?"
Nanamo and Remumu turned to Naruko.
'Oh no…' Remumu thought as Naruko did a little twirl. Her rather salacious robe fluttered as she did so.
'She's hot.'
Naruko smirked at their reaction "What's the matter my dears, have I left the both of you spellbound?" Naruko teased as she cocked her hip slightly.
Remumu swallowed loudly. Next to her, Nanamo wasn't fairing any better.
Walking over to the two Lalafell women, Naruko leaned down and kissed Nanamo gently on her brow. "You're drooling dear." She teased as she stood back up and walked towards the door with a very noticeable swing to her hips "C'mon now. We wouldn't want to miss the festivities."
Remumu stood red faced as Naruko exited the house. Looking at Nanamo she saw the young Sultana was in a daze, muttering that it's not fair how hot Naruko was and something about seductive witch energy or something.
"Um.. Nanamo.." this shook Nanamo from her stupor "You uhh, you got a little something right here." Remumu pointed at the black lipstick mark on Nanamo's forehead.
Haunted Manor
"AHH!" Nanamo and Remumu let out a shriek as a 'fake' Ahriman popped out of a wardrobe and cackled.
Naruko however simply stared boredly at the lesser Voidsent.
They'd been in the Haunted Manor for just shy of an hour and had collected two baskets worth of sweets.
"How aren't you getting scared? These things are terrifying!" Remumu said as she clutched a pumpkin shaped basket of goodies to her chest.
Naruko shrugged, "I've seen worse." It wasn't a lie either. After fighting Primals and various abominations from the Void, an Ahriman isn't exactly scary.
Looking down, Naruko saw Nanamo was still clutching her tightly.
With a roll of her eyes Naruko gently pried her small lover off of her "What's the matter, I thought they weren't scary Nanamo." She teased.
"S-shut up!" Nanamo shouted as she smacked Naruko's leg.
After a few minutes of back and forth they decided to head down into the basement as it was the last section they had yet to go into
"I-it's c-creepy d-d-down here." Remumu stuttered, clutching her basket tightly.
"Y-yeah… can.. can we just go back up stairs Naruko?" Nanamo asked. However Naruko didn't answer.
"N-naruko?" Nanamo said again only for Naruko to bring her finger up to her lips "Shh."
Remumu and Nanamo looked at Naruko oddly "Why-" Nanamo tried again, only to be shushed.
"Listen.."
Nanamo and Remumu looked at each other. Listen to what? It was quite quiet actu-
*Sob*
The two Lalafells froze.
"Th-thats just one of the attractions right? W-we'll invest.. investigate only to get scared… let's .. let's n-not ok?" Nanamo muttered.
"And if it's a kid that got separated from their friends or family?" Naruko asked.
*Sob* I wanna go *sob* home.
With that, Naruko took off down the hall towards the voice, Nanamo and Remumu hastily followed behind her.
And after turning a corner, the two smaller women saw Naruko standing at the door of one of the cells/rooms. Looking back at them she signalled them to wait.
Taking a breath, Naruko softly walked into the room. Only to be greeted by the sound of a muffled yelp from the far corner.
Kneeling down, Naruko spoke softly "There there sweetheart, I ain't one of those nasty Voidsent."
A few minutes later
"Big sis...W-we're gonna find T'kebbe.. right?" Khloe asked tearfully.
"O-of course.. she's bound to-"
"ZHLOE ALIAPOH! YOU GET YOUR SCATTER BRAINED ARSE HERE NOW!" A rather familiar and angry voice shouted from the entrance of the Haunted Manor.
Zhloe gulped as she gingerly turned her head to the direction the voice.
Approaching rather swiftly was an all to familiar Adventurer. Her long red-white blonde hair gave her away almost instantly. "N-naruko? Hey it's.. it's great to see you….this isn't really a good time though.. y'see.."
"Big sis Naruko found T'kebbe!" Khloe shouted happily as she rushed past her older sister.
Looking behind Naruko, Zhloe saw that T'kebbe was standing next to two Lalafells.
Zhloe almost collapsed from relief "Oh.. oh thank the- ow!" The Miqo'te yelped as Naruko grabbed her by the tip of her ear "Ow ow ow Naruko that huuurts!"
"I hope it does you scatterbrained dunce!" Naruko shouted as she dragged the struggling woman off to the side.
"Khloe! Heeeeelp!" Zhloe whined only to be ignored. "Keep this up and I'm telling Adkiragh to stop giving you Pineapple pudding!"
"Nooooo!"
While this was happening, Remumu stared on blankly 'What insanity have I gotten myself into?'
Call it her reporters instinct, but something was telling her that she may have bitten off more then she can chew with this one… and it's not because Naruko was hot in that outfit. Definitely not.
Suddenly a chill went down Remumu's spine and purely on instinct she looked behind herself only to see Nanamo staring at her with this weirdly smug smirk
'W-whats with that look?'
Hope you all had a happy Halloween everyone. See you all next time… hopefully before Endwalker comes out.
Also, care to guess what the smirk at the end is a reference to? I'll give ya a hint, a certain character in game looks at the WoL with a similar look before doing something to him.
Fun fact: I originally had Naruko in Lulu's outfit. But I decided 'meh, what the hell' and decided to alter it to try and fit the Sexy Witch theme.