Saturday, November 19, 1977
Sirius set down the Quidditch magazine he had stolen from James and frowned. His eyes roved around the common room and his fists clenched in his lap as he resisted the urge to start pacing the floor in front of the fireplace. A vague, edgy restlessness had filled him all afternoon, yet he had tried to distract himself, afraid to appear clingy or needlessly worried. Allowing himself to glance at his watch after determining to limit himself to once every half hour, he realized Mary had now been missing for almost three hours. Disappearing like that was very unlike her, as she usually spent Saturday afternoons lounging around the common room, leaning against Sirius's legs reading Witch Weekly or braiding his hair or losing to Peter at wizard's chess. When she had muttered an excuse and left the common room after lunch, Sirius had assumed she was just going to use the bathroom, but when she failed to return he grew increasingly worried, expressing his concern in long, brooding stares into the fire and in his antsy switching from activity to activity. Nobody else seemed concerned with her absence, which further irritated Sirius because it made him wonder whether he was being paranoid. Enough time had passed now, however, that he felt justified in searching for her.
"I'll be right back," he announced, although everyone was so absorbed in what they were doing that they didn't seem to notice he had spoken.
He crossed the room and bounded up the staircase until he reached the dormitory, then headed straight for James's trunk and pulled the Marauder's Map from its usual place. He tapped the parchment with his wand and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," then began to scan the various rooms and corridors of the castle for the little dot with Mary's name. After a few minutes of searching, he looked up in frustration, feeling disconcerted and off-balance to find her nowhere on the Map. He gave the Map another quick look to check up on his brother, as he often did when he consulted the Marauder's Map alone. Finding him in the Slytherin common room as usual, he cleared the Map and replaced it in James's trunk before heading back down the stairs, his mind running through the possibilities of where Mary might be and why she had disappeared without telling anyone.
"None of you lot know where Macdonald is, do you?" he asked without explanation when he returned to their cluster of chairs in front of the fire. "Because if you do know and are just keeping it from me, it'd save me some time if you just told me before I rush off to Hogsmeade to look for her."
James stopped tickling Lily and shot Remus a searching look. "Moony? Do you know anything?" he asked, and there was a note of uncertainty in his voice.
Remus raised his eyebrows and set down his book. "Why?"
James hesitated, his eyes darting to Sirius and back to Remus. "I saw you and Macdonald asleep on the sofa in the common room yesterday morning," he admitted. "Before I went out for my run. So I just thought maybe she might've mentioned something."
Remus eyes widened in alarm. "We weren't-" he spluttered, holding up a hand as if to ward off Sirius's suspicions. "We couldn't sleep, so we smoked a joint and talked for a bit, and then we just sort of fell asleep. I swear, it wasn't-"
"Relax, Moony," Sirius said, cutting him off before he could get any more flustered. "I know you wouldn't… And anyway, we're not dating, so it doesn't really matter either way." He chose not to acknowledge the twinge of jealousy he felt at the thought of Mary curled up on a sofa with someone with less innocent intentions than Remus. "But did she say anything?"
Remus picked at his cuticle and sighed. "She's been worried about her mother," he said reluctantly. "She hasn't heard from her in a while. She wrote to a friend at work to see if she'd heard from her, and I noticed she got a letter at breakfast, but I didn't want to ask her about it." He frowned and shook his head. "I dunno where she'd go, though."
"Why didn't she say anything to me about it?" Lily demanded, her green eyes wide with indignation. "I had no idea."
"She could've talked to me about it, too," Sirius muttered. He had experienced a pang of guilt at Remus's confession, because he had noticed something had been bothering her, but he had allowed her to brush off his inquiries and insist she was fine. She was just lying awake worrying while I slept peacefully, he thought. What a selfish prat I am.
"She didn't want to bother anyone," Remus said, shrugging. "Not with everything else that's been going on. She only told me because we were both the right sort of stoned that makes you want to spill your guts, know what I mean?"
"I still think she should've told me," Lily said, looking offended and cheering only slightly as James put his arm around her and kissed her cheek.
"I'm going to check and see if she's at The Three Broomsticks," Sirius said before Summoning his jacket and some money in case either of them got thirsty.
"Do you want us to come with you?" James offered.
Sirius shook his head. "Nah. I'll see you in a bit," he said before striding across the common room and out through the portrait hole.
His mind whirled as his feet carried him down the corridors and through the secret passageway to Hogsmeade until he emerged into the grey November afternoon. The wind whipped at his face and tugged at his jacket, but he barely felt the cold as he headed for The Three Broomsticks. The moment he pulled open the door of the pub and stepped into the warm interior, he knew he'd found Mary. He sensed her presence before he recognized her wind-tousled curls and red leather jacket hunched over a glass at the bar, because the Ziggy Stardust album was playing from a speaker Sirius hadn't even known existed, and he was sure Mary had put Rosmerta up to it.
"Hi, Macdonald," he said as he slid into a bar stool
beside her and reached out to tug at a stray curl.
She stopped staring into her drink to look up at him, and the unfocused quality of her gaze combined with her slow, deliberate movements told him she was very drunk. His arrival did not seem to please her nor to upset her, and she heaved a resigned sigh and held up her glass to toast him.
"I should've known you'd look for me here," she said. Her words were soft and slurred, and Sirius had to lean close to make out what she was saying. "Getting drunk's how you solve your problems too, so I suppose it wasn't any big mystery to you where I'd be."
Sirius nodded and picked up her drink, taking a sip and grimacing before handing it back.
"Macdonald, are you drinking gin?" he asked, his face twisting in distaste.
She considered the drink in front of her before taking a sip and frowning. "It is rather disgusting, isn't it?" she agreed. "I thought it would make me feel better about Melanie, but it just reminded me how much I fucking hate gin."
Sirius chuckled as he tried to get Rosmerta's attention. "Melanie does love her gin, doesn't she?" He glanced sideways at Mary and noticed the circles under her eyes, the crease between her eyebrows, the tight set of her jaw. "You could've told me you were worried about her," he said, reaching over to touch her shoulder. "I know we don't hold hands or talk about our feelings or any of that rubbish, but you could've talked to me if you wanted to."
She blew a lock of hair out of her face and nodded. "I know. I didn't want to bother you, or anybody else." She took another sip of her drink and continued, "I did tell Remus, but that was an accident."
"An accident," he repeated, amused.
"Yeah," she insisted. "We both couldn't sleep. Two nights in a row. The first night we read Witch Weekly and talked about how long your wand is-"
Sirius smirked. "Did you?" he interrupted, and he felt a rush of pleasure at the smile that spread across her face at his reaction.
"Shut up, Black, I didn't mean that wand. Anyway, the second night we smoked together, and you know how sometimes when I get stoned I can't keep my mouth shut?"
He chuckled and nodded.
"Well, I got stoned and couldn't keep my mouth shut," she said as she traced the ring of moisture left behind by her glass. "And I accidentally told him that Melanie's gone quiet. We, er, had a bit of a heart to heart."
"Did you?" Sirius liked the idea of his two friends confiding in each other, yet he felt a pang of jealousy that he had not been the one she had chosen to confide in. "What did Moony tell you?"
"He told me…" She toyed with a curl as she thought his question over. "He told me he has grey hair. Did you know that? I told him it makes him look… Bloody hell, what's the word I'm looking for, Black?"
"Distinguished?" Sirius suggested, then grinned as Mary slapped the table in triumph, narrowly avoiding knocking over her gin.
"Yes! That's it! I've been trying to think of that word for two bloody days." Her face clouded as she added, "He told me some other things that made me sad. I gave him a hug to try to make him feel better, but I dunno if it did any good."
"I'm sure it helped," Sirius said, resisting a sudden urge to wrap Mary in a hug right there in the pub.
"I hope so." She drained the last of her gin and looked down into her glass as though hoping more would appear. "We fell asleep together. But it wasn't like that. We were just too lazy to move." She draped an arm over his shoulder and smirked at him. "Don't be jealous, Black."
"Don't be stupid, Macdonald," he retorted. "When have you ever known me to be jealous?"
She laughed and pulled her arm away, returning her hands to her empty glass. "I know, I was only teasing. I know we're not…" She made a vague gesture, and Sirius nodded to show he understood. "And really we could both do whatever we like with anyone, if we felt like it." She traced her finger along the edge of the glass, then looked up to meet his gaze. "But I don't want to. And I haven't for a while. Do you know why, Black?"
Sirius looked back at her, afraid to move or blink or breathe. He could guess what she was about to say, and just thinking about it made his heart pound. He could almost see the shape of the words on her lips, and he couldn't decide if he was desperate for her to voice the words aloud or leave them unspoken. I'm not drunk enough for this, he thought, glancing hopefully at Mary's empty glass. I'm not nearly drunk enough for this.
Before Mary had time to answer her own question, Rosmerta appeared in front of them, looking harried after serving a large party on the other side of the bar.
"Sorry for the wait, love," she said, breaking into a smile when she noticed Sirius had joined Mary. "Hello, Black. Back to cause more trouble? You want a firewhisky?"
"Two, please," Sirius said, returning her grin and hoping neither of them could tell how fast his heart was beating. "This one's had enough gin for the day, I think."
Rosmerta cast an appraising glance at Mary, taking in her bemused expression and disheveled hair. "You sure she can handle another drink?"
"Don't underestimate her, Rosie," Sirius replied. "She can hold her drink almost as well as I can." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins before placing them on the bar.
Rosmerta frowned, then shrugged and took the coins before moving away to pour their drinks. Sirius took a deep breath, pushing aside the emotions that had arisen without his permission, and draped an arm around Mary.
"Right, here's what we're going to do," he said, taking strength from his own businesslike tone. "We're both going to enjoy a drink that doesn't taste like a fucking Christmas tree. Then when we get back to the castle, you're going to bed, because you look like you haven't had a proper sleep in days."
"I haven't," she admitted, resting her head against his shoulder. "I've barely been able to sleep at all."
"I'll go to Pomfrey and get you a sleeping potion if I have to," Sirius said, pushing a lock of her hair out of his face. "But you might not need it if you're drunk enough, which I think you are."
"You might be right. I'm just about irresponsibly drunk, as you'd put it." She picked up her head and turned to smirk at him, lowering her voice. "Can we shag before I go to bed?"
He grinned. "If you'd like."
"I would like," she said, nodding.
"All right. And then tomorrow, we can walk into Hogsmeade and Apparate to London to go check on Melanie," he continued.
"What?" She sat staring at him, uncomprehending. "Are you mad? We can't just leave school."
"Why the fuck not?"
She continued to gape at him. "If we're caught they'll probably expel us. It's not worth it, when Melanie is probably fine and I'm just being paranoid."
He put a hand on her arm and looked at her, his eyes wide and earnest. "Macdonald, this is why you should've talked to me about this in the first place. I don't give a fuck about the rules. We need to make sure your mum's all right, so we're leaving school and going to London. If we get caught, then we'll take our detention and docked points and get on with our day. You've never been in serious trouble before, so there's no way you'd be expelled for that."
"But-" she began.
"It's pointless to argue with me, Macdonald. You should know that by now." Sirius said, grinning at her before handing her one of the drinks Rosmerta had just set down on the bar.
Mary sat speechless for another moment, gripping the glass without taking a sip, before she set it back down and threw her arms around Sirius. Her clumsy, sudden movement made him slosh some of his firewhisky onto the floor, and he had to grab onto the bar to avoid toppling out of his stool.
"Easy, Macdonald," he said, chuckling and placing his firewhisky on the bar before any more of it could spill. "No need to knock me over."
She laughed but didn't pull away. "Thanks, Black," she whispered. Her slightly slurred words felt warm against his ear, and she smelled of alcohol and leather and Sleekeazy's. A stray curl tickled Sirius's face, and he found his mind drifting against his will back to the words she had been about to say just a few minutes ago.
"No need to make it a big thing," he said, trying to force the disconcerting thoughts from his mind. "You'd do the same for me. Now quit groping me before Rosmerta gets jealous, and drink up so you can get that pine tree taste out of your mouth."
Mary pulled away, and her drunken, bemused smile had taken on a sheepish quality after her unexpected gesture of thanks. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face before reaching for her glass. Sirius picked up his own and clinked it against Mary's, and they both took a large sip. As the mouthful of firewhisky burned Sirius's throat, he let the alcohol drive away the tangle of worry and anxiety that lingered in the back of his mind.
The walk back to the castle was quiet and somber, devoid of the usual drunken singing and laughter. Sirius wrapped an arm around Mary and she leaned against him, staring down at her feet and concentrating on staying upright. Her hair tumbled into her face, although it didn't hide the worried crease that had formed between her eyebrows. When they reached the common room, Lily jumped out of her chair, bursting with questions, but Sirius shot her a pointed look and shook his head before guiding Mary up the stairs and into the dormitory. He led her across the room and she slumped down onto his bed, laying back with her hair fanning out across the duvet. The exhaustion was etched so deeply onto her face that it seemed amazing that she had managed to walk back from Hogsmeade without falling asleep on her feet. Sirius felt a rush of affection for her as he knelt to unlace her shoes and helped her remove her clothes.
"Black," she murmured after he had stripped down to his pants and joined her in bed. "What if we go to London tomorrow and she isn't just off with a new boyfriend or too drunk to answer her mail? What if we can't find her? Or what if we do find her and something's happened to her?" She rolled over to face him, and the alcohol and exhaustion had stripped away all her carefully constructed barriers to reveal the full extent of her fear and worry.
"Listen, Macdonald." Sirius reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her from wrapping a curl around and around her finger. "I can't promise everything will be fine. I don't bloody know what we'll find when we go to London tomorrow, but whatever happens, we'll deal with it as it comes. Don't tell anyone I said this, because it goes against my reputation of being an arsehole, but you're one of the strongest, bravest people I know, and you can handle whatever the fuck happens. And I'll be there with you to give you a hug or buy you a drink or do whatever you need me to do to help you get through. But let's not worry about that until we need to, because I'm sure she's fine. And worrying about it isn't going to help, it's just going to keep you awake, and no offense, but you need to get some sleep, because you're starting to look a bit like Moony right before the full moon, and it's not a good look for you."
Mary sighed and rested her forehead against Sirius's chest. "I know worrying doesn't help, but I still can't stop thinking about it." She reached for his hand to check his watch and laughed. "Merlin, it's early. You don't have to stay here with me if you don't want to."
Sirius considered tucking Mary under the duvet and going down to the common room to play Exploding Snap or toss a Quaffle back and forth with James or attempt to beat Peter at chess, but she looked so vulnerable lying there on top of the blankets that he couldn't bring himself to leave.
"Do you think you'll be able to fall asleep?" he asked, smiling as she traced the scar on his chest and draped a leg over his.
"I dunno. I don't need a potion or anything. I just…" She sighed, and her breath tickled Sirius's bare skin. "I don't know what I need."
"Hang on," Sirius said as he disentangled himself from her and stood up. "You should get under the covers, otherwise you'll be freezing in about a minute."
She struggled to maneuver herself under the blankets, then smiled as Sirius climbed back into bed beside her while the opening chords of "Rock 'N' Roll Suicide began to play softly. He pulled the blanket up to cover both of them and wrapped his arms around her, and they lay together in silence until the last notes of the song faded away.
"How did you know that song was what I needed?" she asked, sighing in contentment.
"I recall you saying once, and I quote, 'This song speaks to my fucking soul'," Sirius said, reaching across her to retrieve his wand and pack of Marlboro's from the bedside table. "Right before you made me get the lyrics tattooed on my arm."
"You were so drunk you agreed without even knowing what the tattoo was going to be," she said as her fingers trailed along his arm to trace the words inked there. "You're lucky I didn't have him do 'Padfoot smells' or something. I suppose we can save that for the next time we get tattoos."
"I do need more tattoos," Sirius said as he propped himself up against his pillow and lit a cigarette. He took a drag and blew the smoke out slowly, watching it filling the air around them and only then realizing that he'd forgotten to open the window. "Don't you think I'd look really good with a bunch of tattoos?"
"I always think you look really good," she murmured. "But I don't want to tell you because it's not good for your ego."
"Right, better not tell me, then," Sirius said, grinning. "You want a cigarette, Macdonald?"
"I'm too sleepy," she mumbled, her words no more than a whisper. "Night, Black. Thanks for being nice to me even though you don't like to because it goes against your reputation as an inconsiderate arsehole."
She rolled over to face him and settled her head on his chest. Her eyes were already closed, and her face had lost some of the hollow, haunted look that had lingered for the past few days.
"Just don't tell anyone," he said. "Night, McDonald."
By the time he'd finished his cigarette and dropped the butt into the Butterbeer bottle that served as an ashtray, her slow, rhythmic breathing told him she had fallen asleep. He used his wand to turn out the lights and pull the curtains shut around them, then nestled closer to Mary and pushed aside a piece of her hair that was tickling his chin. She stirred but didn't wake up, and Sirius was grateful, because she really did need the sleep. He felt too awake to sleep but too comfortable to get up and do anything else, so he just lay there in the dark, listening to the soft sounds of Mary sleeping. Now that he had nothing to distract him from his thoughts, he found himself wondering why he didn't flinch at the idea of battling death eaters or discovering Melanie's dead body, but the possibility of Mary saying 'I love you' and expecting him to say it back filled him with tight, choking panic. He turned this thought over and over in his mind until he finally drifted off to sleep with Mary curled against him.
Sunday, November 20, 1977
The icy wind whipped Mary's hair into her face and bit through her leather jacket to the thin t-shirt underneath, but she barely noticed the cold. She clutched her wand until her knuckles turned white as she repeated the steps of the plan they had agreed on. Apparate to Sirius's flat. Take the motorbike to my flat. Check and see if Melanie's there. If she isn't, check the mail and ask the neighbors. If they don't know anything, see if anyone at the diner's heard from her. They had no definite answer for what to do if nobody at the diner knew where Melanie might be, and considering what the next step would be made Mary's chest tighten, so when she got to that point, her mind looped back to the beginning of the plan. Apparate to Sirius's flat. Take the motorbike to my flat…
"Ready?"
The sound of Sirius's voice interrupted her mental loop, and she looked up at him and nodded, her face grim but determined. She squeezed her eyes shut before turning on the spot and Apparating, and when she opened her eyes the outskirts of the Hogsmeade village had been replaced by the familiar sight of Sirius's living room. The air had a stuffy, musty scent after being unoccupied for several months, and the Chudley Cannons blanket on the floor next to a discarded t-shirt of Sirius's indicated that they had left for King's Cross in a hurry back in September. Despite this, being back in the flat where they had spent so much time together over the summer was comforting, and she drank in her surroundings, trying to center herself before the difficult task ahead. As she looked around, the memories flooded her mind in vivid detail: the nights they had sat out on his balcony, drinking and smoking and serenading the unsuspecting pedestrians in Diagon alley; the many lazy afternoons they had spent together sprawled on his bed or curled up on the sofa, too content to get dressed or do anything more strenuous than shag or Summon food from the kitchen; the meals they had shared around the table in his kitchen on the occasions Mary had coerced him into actually going shopping. Thinking back on all of this brought her a hint of the happiness she had felt during those blissful summer months when she was still willfully unaware of the horrors contained in the pages of the Prophet, and she found herself smiling in spite of the task that lay ahead of them today.
"You coming?" Sirius asked.
Mary shook herself from her reverie to see him standing by the door, clutching the keys to the motorbike and looking at her with an expectant look on his face. Sighing, she gave the flat one last lingering look before following him down the stairs and out to the shed where the motorbike was stored.
"Did you miss me?" Sirius crooned, stroking the handlebars lovingly before wheeling it out into the grassy area behind the flat and climbing on. "Sorry I've been away for so long."
"You realize it can't actually hear you, right?" Mary asked as she settled herself behind Sirius on the motorbike and performed a warming charm to protect them from the chilly November air..
Sirius's only reply was to hold up his hand in a rude gesture before the engine roared to life and he took off down Diagon Alley. As they reached Muggle London and Sirius began weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding parked cars and people crossing the road, Mary felt another unexpected burst of happiness. Hurtling down the street at reckless speed while the wind pummeled her face always brought her joy, and she was grateful they had decided to take the motorbike even though it was an extra step. The extra time to get her head on straight before they arrived at her own flat was much needed.
When they arrived in Mary's neighborhood and parked in front of her building, Mary was surprised to find it looked unchanged. The peeling paint on the exterior, the reek of smoke and stained carpet on the stairs, the missing number next to her door that they had never bothered to replace: none of it hinted at anything ominous or out of the ordinary. Mary hesitated outside of the door, the key trembling in her outstretched hand as she contemplated unlocking the door to find whatever lay inside. Without saying a word, Sirius took the key from her shaking fingers and unlocked the door, then turned the knob and stepped inside the flat. After a moment, Mary took a deep breath and followed him, steeling herself for the worst.
As Mary had expected, the flat was filthy. Dirty dishes filled the sink and dotted the counter, empty gin bottles and an overflowing ashtray covered the tiny kitchen table, and the bin was overflowing with rubbish. She scanned the room for mail, opened or unopened, but all she found was a handwritten notice from the landlord that he had slipped under the door, inquiring as to the status of her late rent payment. She moved to check the rest of the flat, her heart racing, but Sirius put a hand on her arm to stop her and stepped forward to look instead. After a few minutes he returned, shaking his head.
"She's not here. Doesn't look like she has been for at least a couple weeks."
His calm, measured tone and the reassuring warmth of his hand on her waist kept her from thinking too much about what this might mean, so she nodded and followed him out of the flat to check Melanie's mail. The little box was crammed full of bills, circulars, and letters in Mary's own handwriting, but nothing gave a clue as to Melanie's whereabouts. Mary tore open a bill with the words 'Past Due' stamped across the top in large, threatening uppercase letters and scanned it before tucking it into her back pocket with a sigh. She looked at Sirius and gave a tiny shake of her head before heading back up the stairs to the flat across from Melanie's.
"You friendly with this neighbor?" Sirius asked as he followed her up the staircase and down the corridor. Faint snatches of music drifted out from one flat. Further down the corridor they heard the sound of a couple arguing.
"No, she's kind of a bitch," Mary whispered as they came to a stop in front of a door across from her flat. "But she's nosy and always seems to know what everyone's up to, so I'm hoping she might have an idea."
She took a deep breath before giving the door several light raps, and after a moment the door swung open to reveal a grey-haired woman in her mid-fifties. She wore a flowered bathrobe and a suspicious scowl as she squinted at them in the dim light of the corridor. Mary could hear the theme song to a popular soap opera coming from the woman's television.
"Hello, Mrs. Williams," Mary began, trying to repress the desperate, anxious hope that bubbled up inside of her. "Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you know where my mum is."
"Shouldn't you be at school?" Mrs. Williams asked. "Christmas holidays aren't until next month." The frown on her face deepened, and her eyes narrowed as they roved over Mary and Sirius.
"I've come back to check on my mum," Mary said, biting back her annoyance at Mrs. Williams's refusal to answer the question. "I haven't heard from her in about a month. It looks like she hasn't been getting her mail. Do you know where I might find her?"
The suspicion on Mrs. Williams's face turned to glee at the prospect of departing valuable information that Mary was unable to attain on her own.
"Mr. Leonard's been around," she said, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "The landlord," she added, for Sirius's benefit. "Rent was due three weeks ago, and apparently she hasn't paid. He hasn't managed to find her, though, because he keeps coming back. She's going to get evicted if she's not careful, because how many times has she done this before? I think he's run out of patience."
"Yeah, well, he always gets his money in the end," Mary said, a bitter note in her voice. "But where's she gone, Mrs. Williams?"
The woman's face became even more smug as she noticed the desperation in Mary's voice, and she paused, relishing the power of the information she held. Mary resisted the urge to shake her.
"She's met a new boyfriend," she said after a moment. "Apparently he's the one."
"Aren't they all," Mary said, rolling her eyes. "Do you know where he lives?"
Mrs. Williams frowned, then shook her head. "No, but I think he works with her. Or did, anyway. They'll have fired him if they have any sense." She wrinkled her nose and added, "I wouldn't trust him cooking my food. Looks like he's never washed his hands in his life."
Mary's heart sunk. "What does he look like?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"Bit shorter than your bloke here," she said, nodding at Sirius. "Balding, bit pudgy, always wearing tracksuit bottoms, tattoo on his arm, what do they call those…"
"It's a tribal tattoo," Mary said with a sigh. "Bloody hell, I know she makes a lot of bad decisions, but I thought she had better sense than that." She set off down the corridor, turning back to call over her shoulder, "Thanks, Mrs. Williams! See you at Christmas!"
"You know who he is?" Sirius asked after he had to jog to catch up with her.
"Unfortunately," she said, hurrying down the stairs. "It's this tosser called Donnie. He's a fucking creep. Used to grab my arse when he walked by me and pretend it was an accident." She reached over and cupped Sirius's butt to demonstrate. "Is that an accident?"
"Definitely not," he said, grinning. "But feel free to do that any time you like. I don't mind." His smile tightened into a frown as he noticed the grim expression on her face. "Didn't you ever tell your boss?"
She shook her head. "No. I thought about it after he cornered me in the walk-in refrigerator once, but we needed him too much. I did warn the other waitresses, though, including my bloody mother, so you think she'd have the sense not to go and shag him."
They had reached Sirius's motorbike, and Mary stood eying him with an expectant look on her face as she waited for him to get on.
"You know where he lives?" Sirius asked, surprised.
"Yeah, I went to his flat to tell him off after he'd missed his third shift in a row," she said, looking slightly sheepish. "One of the other cooks came with me. Big bloke, looks a bit like Hagrid. Anyway, we shouted at his door until he finally opened up, and we told him to get his arse to work or he could find another job, and it seemed to work, because he showed up for his shifts for a while after that."
Sirius was staring at her with a bemused look on his face. "You shouted at him?"
She raised her eyebrows. "I get angry enough to tell someone off once in a while. What, you don't believe me? If things don't go well, you might just see me do a bit of shouting in a few minutes. Come on, it's not far."
After Sirius followed her directions and parked the motorbike in front of a building two streets down from the diner, Mary marched up to the door and yanked on the handle. Undeterred when she found it locked, she glanced around before pulling her wand from her pocket and muttering "Alohomora." She pulled open the door and dashed inside, not even bothering to check that Sirius had followed her as she bounded up the stairs and tore off down the corridor until she found the correct door.
"Is this-" Sirius began, winded after hurtling up the stairs after Mary, but she had given the door several sharp raps before he could finish his question.
When nobody responded, Mary pressed her ear to the door and listened. The sound of a radio mingled with the hushed, urgent voices of a man and a woman.
"Mum!" Mary called, knocking again. "I know you're in there! Open up."
When there was no answer again, Mary gave the door a kick and shouted, "Open up or I'll break the bloody door down."
The voices grew louder, and after a moment the door swung open to reveal Mary's mother, holding an unlit cigarette in one hand and wearing an exasperated expression. She looked a bit thinner and paler than the last time Mary had seen her, but she seemed otherwise unharmed. Donnie stood behind her, staring out at Mary in complete bewilderment. The man was even more repellant than she remembered with his stained t-shirt, dirty fingernails, and bloodshot, leering eyes.
"No need to be so dramatic, Mary," Melanie said, rolling her eyes. "I was going to answer the door if you'd waited a minute before shouting at us." She gestured at the filthy, cluttered room that was visible behind her. "Would you like to come in?" She glanced at Sirius and winked.
"No, we wouldn't," Mary snapped. "I'd like to know why you haven't answered any of my bloody letters, and why you've stopped showing up to work and haven't paid your rent."
Melanie frowned down at the cigarette in her hand as though it could be blamed for her inconsiderate behavior. "Did you write me? I'm sorry, I haven't been back to the flat in a while," she said, and the regret in her voice only fueled Mary's indignant rage.
"Yes, I've gathered that. What I'd like to know is why."
Melanie's eyes darted to Donnie's, and she put her hand on his arm as she said, "Well, Albert's has sacked Donnie, and it was completely unfair-"
"Right, because a man has every right to grope whichever waitresses he chooses without worrying about it putting his job in jeopardy," Mary spat, glaring at Donnie. He stared back at her, unabashed, which only enraged her further.
"Don't be ridiculous, Mary," Melanie said, putting a protective arm around Donnie as if to shield him from Mary's wrath. "It was for failing to turn up for a shift, as if everyone doesn't deserve a second chance! So I told them if they were going to treat him like that, I was done, too, and I haven't been back. And I've been staying here instead of at our flat because it's just easier."
"It's closer to the pub, you mean," Mary said, not caring that she was being cruel. "Don't have as far to stumble back home after you've drank your weight in gin?" She shook her head in disgust. "Mum, if you really have such little self-respect that you want to shag a bloke who's tried to grope me on multiple occasions, well, I suppose that's up to you. But I'm coming home for the Christmas holidays in a month, and if you think I'm staying here, you're dead wrong. So you need to pay the rent on our flat, and to do that you need your bloody job."
"It's too late," she said with a shrug of resignation. "Albert said if I walked out there was no coming back-"
"Albert always bloody says that until he realizes he has nobody to work the Saturday morning shift," Mary said dismissively. "He'll give you your job back, but you have to show up for your shifts, and pay your fucking rent on time, and answer my letters so I don't think you're dead." Her voice broke, and she blinked several times and stared at a stain on the carpet until the urge to cry receded.
"Mary," Melanie began, reaching out to her, and Mary almost let her mother enfold her in her arms. The temptation to feel the warmth of her embrace and smell her familiar scent and cry against her chest was so strong that she almost gave in. But then she looked around at their dingy surroundings and the man next to her mother who still stood gaping at her in confused silence, and her resolve hardened.
"I'm going to go talk to Albert now," she said, taking a deep breath and swiping at her eyes to hide the traitorous tears that lingered there. "And then I'll see if I can track down the landlord and get that figured out. But promise me that you won't bloody do this again, because I can't take it, I really can't. If you do this again, I just won't come back." The words sent a jolt of guilt richotheting through her mind, but the anger burning through her was too strong to ignore.
Melanie stared at her for a moment, her dark eyes wide with hurt and shock, before she rested her head on Donnie's shoulder and began to sob. The heartbreaking, pitiful sound grated on Mary's nerves and seemed to shake Donnie from his stupor. Drawing himself up to his full height, he tugged at the waistband of his tracksuit bottoms and glared at her, his eyes blazing.
"Who do you think you are, coming here and shouting at your mother like that and accusing me when I never touched you-"
"Shut the fuck up, Donnie," Mary said, her calm tone in stark contrast to the tumultuous emotions raging inside her head. She felt the buzzing in her ears and the slight tingle in her fingers that meant she was about to lose control. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself, but it was no use, and she sensed a crackle of magic in the air. Sirius must have felt it too, because he put a hand on her arm and began to steer her down the corridor. She let him guide her, unable to argue in case speaking made her lose the fragile thread of control she still had. She didn't trust herself to speak until they were outside and she felt the buzzing, tingling feeling fading away with every breath of fresh air she gulped.
"Thanks," she said after a minute. "Could you tell?"
Sirius nodded. "It happened to me a couple of times, back when I lived at Grimmauld Place. You can sort of feel it in the air, you know?"
"I shouldn't have lost control like that," Mary said, shaking her head. "Merlin, if you hadn't pulled me out of there…"
"But I did," Sirius said, shrugging. "I wanted to stay and punch that tosser in the face, so I suppose it's for the best that we left."
She didn't answer for a moment. The sound of her mother's sobs echoed in her ears, and she felt a sudden urge to run back upstairs, to wrap her in a hug and beg her to leave that flat with her right then and there. But of course that would be an exercise in futility, because Melanie was far too stubborn to be convinced that easily, so instead she took one more deep breath and forced herself into action mode.
"Right, we're going to go to Albert's to get Melanie her job back. Then we're going to talk to the landlord and get him to give her an extension on the rent. And then I'm going to need a drink, if that's all right with you."
"I'm always up for a drink," Sirius said, hopping onto the motorbike and sliding up to make room for Mary.
An hour later they stood smoking in front of the parked motorbike, huddled together as the wind buffeted them. Mary caught Sirius looking at her and he hastily rearranged his face into a neutral expression, but it was too late.
"What?" she asked, blowing out a long stream of smoke that dissipated into the wind. "Why're you looking at me like that?"
He grinned and watched her curls whip her face as the wind tugged at them. Her hair would be a tangled mess after this, but he had always rather liked it that way.
"It's nothing really. I've just never seen you tell anyone off like that. I kind of liked it, to be honest." He frowned and took a drag on his cigarette. "Why don't you ever tell me off like that?" he asked after releasing the smoke and tossing the cigarette butt onto the ground.
She laughed. "You want me to tell you off?"
He shrugged. "Maybe."
"You're such an idiot," she said, rolling her eyes and dropping her own cigarette butt onto the ground before grinding it out beneath her shoe. "And you didn't have to step in and modify the landlord's memory, by the way. I could've worked it out on my own."
"Yeah, but now the flat's all paid up for the next few months, and you won't have to worry about it."
Mary nodded, a reluctant smile spreading over her face, but then a flicker of sadness took over and her eyes filled with tears.
"Macdonald?" Sirius asked, his voice soft and full of concern. He reached for her but she brushed him off, swiping furiously at the tears that spilled down her cheeks.
"Sorry," she said, blinking in an effort to keep her crying under control. "It's just… Fucking hell, it's been a day."
He could sense the regret that plagued her after the harsh words she had spoken to her mother, and the guilt that lingered every time she left her mother to her gin and cigarettes and bad decisions. He understood this without her saying a word, because he had felt something similar every time he had shouted at Regulus or disagreed with his choices, and on the night he had walked out of Grimmauld Place and left his brother behind. He wanted to express all this, to tell Mary that he knew how she felt and it was fucking awful that family could make you feel that way, but the words escaped him. Instead, he put his arm around her and flashed her a bracing grin.
"Do you want a drink first, or would you rather take the bike up into the air for a bit?"
She smiled, and he was so relieved to see her look happier that he released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
"Let's go for a ride," she said, wiping away the last of her tears and pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "It'd be a shame to come all the way to London and not take the motorbike out for a proper ride."
"She'd be bloody disappointed if we didn't," Sirius agreed as he swung his leg over the motorbike and settled onto the seat.
"It's a motorbike, Black," Mary said, laughing and climbing on behind him. "It doesn't have feelings."
"Shh, Macdonald, she'll hear you," he said, turning around to give her a reproachful look before turning on the ignition and taking off down the street.
Sirius had forgotten just how much he loved flying, with Mary's arms wrapped around his waist and the wind blowing their hair around and the delicious swoop in the pit of his stomach when the wheels of the motorbike left the ground. He could tell from the excited exhalations in his ear and the way Mary's body relaxed against his that she was feeling the same rush of joy, and he took them higher and further than he had originally planned, wanting to prolong the feeling as long as he could. The speed and rush of air and feel of the motorbike underneath him made it hard to dwell on the naked pain and vulnerability he had read on Mary's face. It felt so right, so simple and natural and perfect, flying together, and a vague idea began to form in Sirius's mind as they sped over London. Somehow the relief of flying together after the emotional strain of the past 24 hours solidified the decision that Sirius had been toying with for ages.
"Black!" Mary called, pressing her lips close to his ear and shouting to be heard over the engine and the roar of the wind. "Do that loop de loop thing I like!"
Grinning, he pulled the motorbike into a steep climb before executing several flips in midair, letting the joy and adrenaline drive everything else from his mind.
When they landed and stowed the motorbike back in the shed behind Sirius's flat, they headed for the Leaky Cauldron, where Sirius bought them drinks and watched in amusement as Mary downed hers in one gulp.
"Don't judge," she said, casting a sheepish look at her empty glass. "I needed that."
Sirius laughed before taking a large sip of his own drink. "Macdonald, do you honestly think I have any room to judge?" he asked, trying to catch the bartender's eye to order Mary another drink. "I'm bloody impressed, actually."
"Well, I learned from the best," she said, nodding at Sirius's glass which was already half empty.
The bartender brought them both new drinks, and for a few minutes they drank in silence, listening to the chatter of the other patrons and the murmur of the radio that was broadcasting a Quidditch match. Sirius was halfway through his second drink, enjoying the pleasant looseness in his limbs and the dulling of his worries when Mary broke the companionable silence.
"I'm sorry you had to see all of that today," she said, staring down into her glass and swirling the liquid around and around.
Sirius frowned. "Why the hell are you sorry?"
She sighed and took a sip. "It's just a bit pathetic, isn't it? I don't suppose most people need to shout at their parents to pay the rent or go to work or answer their bloody mail, do they?" She turned her head to look at him, and he saw the same expression of anguish and worry, bared for him to see. "I mean, I know you had a pretty good idea of how things were, but you'd never actually seen it. I should've had you wait outside or something. I just…" She sighed again and shook her head. "I just don't want you to think any differently about me."
Someone had turned up the volume on the radio, although the raucous laughter coming from a full table near the door still drowned out the sound of the commentator's voice, but Sirius was oblivious to it all as he stared at Mary in disbelief.
"Again, do you think I have any room to judge? Do you have any idea of the sort of vile shit Walburga and Orion used to say on a daily basis?" A few of the more choice phrases echoed in his mind, and he pushed back the wave of anger that washed over him at these unbidden memories. "All right, your mum's a drunk and doesn't exactly have her life together. Why would that make me think any less of you? If you don't hold it against me that Walburga and Orion think marrying your cousin is preferable to tainting the bloodlines by marrying Muggles, then how could I hold it against you that your mum has terrible taste in men and drinks more gin in a month than most people do in their lifetime?"
"It's not just that," she said, looking away again and wrapping a curl around her finger. "I shouldn't have said what I said. Threatening not to come home for Christmas, when I'm the only bloody family she has? What sort of rubbish daughter am I?"
"Nah, your mum's lucky to have you. Besides, do you realize who you're talking to, Macdonald?" Sirius asked with a wry smile. "If we're competing to see which of us is the worst family member, you're going to lose."
"But that's different," she said, dismissing his comment with a wave of her hand. "You left because you had to, because they're bigoted arseholes and you were living in a toxic environment. It would've driven you mad if you stayed."
Sirius didn't answer for a moment. His mind had flashed back to the balmy summer night over a year ago when he had last set foot in 12 Grimmauld Place. To this day he still had only fragmented memories of his departure: Walburga's high-pitched shriek of rage, the sharp pain of the ashtray she had thrown grazing his eyebrow, the look of hurt and betrayal on Regulus's face when Sirius refused to stay.
"Walburga and Orion are bigoted arseholes and always have been," he said once he had shaken his mind loose from the memories that threatened to overwhelm him. "And Regulus might be now, but he wasn't always. He used to be all right. He stood in front of me and cried, and before that I hadn't seen him cry since we were little kids, but he fucking cried and begged me not to leave him there, and I left anyway. And now…" He shook his head and drained the rest of his drink. "Well, you know who he's involved with now. So anyway, you shouldn't feel guilty, because you're a far less selfish person than I am, and that's why you keep going back even though Melanie drives you mad."
Mary took a sip of her drink and mulled this over, her face contemplative and sad. Finally she said, "Shout at me to mind my own business if you like, but have you ever thought that maybe it's not too late to fix things with your brother?"
The last conversation he had had with Regulus came rushing back to Sirius in excruciating detail, and his expression became bitter.
"It's too bloody late," he said, and there was a bite to his words that left no room for argument.
He was afraid he would detect pity in her face, but as her eyes met his he saw only understanding and acceptance.
"Well, that's a shame," she said, shrugging. "But at least you have James."
"Yeah, he's not rubbish as far as brothers go," Sirius said, a reluctant smile spreading across his face. "Even if he is a sentimental sod who supports Ballycastle." An idea occurred to him, and before he had time to consider the consequences, he found himself adding, "And you know, if your mum doesn't go back to her flat and you don't want to go home for Christmas, you can always spend the holiday with us."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished he hadn't spoken, because the offer felt far too bold considering the paltry amount of alcohol he had consumed. Despite his reservations, however, Mary did not balk or grimace or try to avoid giving a definite answer. Instead, her face lit up into a brilliant smile, and some of the visible tension in her shoulders eased.
"Thanks, Black," she said, and she seemed to genuinely mean it. "That means a lot, actually. I will probably be going home for Christmas, but…"
Her voice trailed off, and the implication of her unfinished sentence made Sirius's mind up about a decision he hadn't even realized he was seriously considering. The vague, half-formed idea that he had been repressing up until now resolved itself into a definite, clear course of action. He was going to do it, and sod all his doubts and reservations and fears.
He reached for his drink to give himself a bit more courage, then set it down when he remembered it was empty. As he waved to the bartender and waited for another drink, he realized that for this particular conversation, for once he did not want to be drunk. The thought of confessing something so big without alcohol to dull his nerves terrified him, yet it seemed to be the only way to guarantee a conversation they would both actually remember and acknowledge the next day. Still, complete sobriety struck him as a bit excessive. Maybe just a sip or two from the flask, for luck.
Sirius held his new drink in the air, silently resolving to put off the conversation until tomorrow."To getting drunk enough to forget how fucked up our families are," he said. And to getting drunk enough to forget I've decided to actually talk about my feelings and risk looking incredibly stupid.
Mary clinked her glass against his, and as they both drank, Sirius let the warmth of the firewhisky and the comfortable companionship of Mary's presence drive the anxiety from his mind for the time being. He would worry about telling her how he felt tomorrow. Tonight was about the simple, uncomplicated act of getting drunk.
Mary set down yet another empty glass and looked across the table at Sirius. A strand of hair kept falling into her eyes and obscuring her vision, and the dim, hazy light of the pub made it hard to make out Sirius's face. She felt the happiness and contentment that meant she had achieved the perfect level of intoxication, and the alcohol had dulled the distress she had experienced earlier in the day so that she could think about her argument with her mother without the stab of guilt and pain that had previously brought tears to her eyes. The motorbike ride and the frank conversation with Sirius, combined with the alcohol and the joint they had shared on the walk from The Leaky Cauldron to the pub where they now sat, had eased the stress that Mary had been trying to shake off for the past several weeks. As she watched Sirius tap his wand on the table along with the music, she marveled at his ability to cheer her up when she herself couldn't have said exactly what would make her feel better.
"Black?" she asked, because the question had just occurred to her. "How are we getting back to school?"
Sirius frowned and drained the last drops from his drink. "Shit. Are we too drunk to apparate, do you think?"
She watched him resume his wand tapping, hitting the table too hard on a guitar solo and sending sparks shooting across at her. "Yeah, I'd say so," she said, grinning and waving away the sparks. "We could stay at your flat and go back in the morning, but I don't trust us to wake up on time."
"No, neither do I," Sirius agreed. "We'll have to take the Knight Bus, I suppose."
"I've never taken the Knight Bus before," Mary said, and the prospect struck her as exciting rather than inconvenient, a fun, drunken adventure they would undertake together and that would become a funny story to tell the others later. "Is it fun?"
"The first time I took it was the night I left Grimmauld Place," Sirius said. He had a vivid memory of blood dripping into his eye from a cut above his eyebrow as the bus lurched forward and screeched to a halt. "And the second time was after I crashed my motorbike." All he could recall from that trip was the suspicious glare of the conductor as he had stumbled onto the bus with James's help. "So I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to enjoy it, but I think under the right circumstances it'd be fun, yeah."
She raised her eyebrows. "Are these the right circumstances?"
He nodded. "I'd say so, although we'd better have another drink first, because it will be a long ride, and we might get thirsty."
After another drink each, Sirius and Mary left the pub and made their way out into the night. The street was deserted and the temperature had dropped as Sirius lit a cigarette and offered one to Mary.
"How exactly do you get the Knight Bus to come to you?" Mary asked as she shielded her cigarette from the wind to light it. "Is there a number you're supposed to call, or…?"
Sirius turned to her in surprise, then laughed when he saw her blank expression. "Are you joking? No, you don't call a number, you just stick out your wand hand and it appears. Didn't your mum ever teach you that song when you were a kid?"
"What song?" she asked, hoping he was about to sing it for her, and she was not disappointed.
"You know, 'If you're lost and don't know what to do, hold out your wand arm and bring the Knight Bus to you,'" he sang, and the tune reminded Mary of an old laundry detergent commercial. The childish song was so at odds with Sirius's cigarette and leather jacket that Mary couldn't help but giggle. "Come on, you really never learned that?"
"Black, my mum doesn't know what the Knight Bus is," she reminded him. "Why would I have learned it?"
"Oh, I didn't think of that," Sirius said, widening his eyes in comprehension.
"Your parents taught you that?" she asked, incredulous.
"Walburga and Orion? Fuck no," Sirius said, chuckling. "I think it was my uncle. Or maybe my cousin Andromeda." He frowned, trying to remember, then shrugged."I suppose you never learned the wand safety song either, then?"
She grinned. "No, but you're welcome to teach me."
He took a drag on his cigarette and shook his head. "Nah, one stupid childhood song is enough for tonight." He dropped his cigarette and ground it out under his boot before setting off and gesturing for Mary to follow. "Come on, let's get some food before we go back. Breakfast was a long time ago, and I think I might waste away if I don't eat something."
She rolled her eyes and hurried to join him. "That's a bit dramatic, but I won't say no to food."
Ten minutes later they stood outside a kebab shop, doubled over with laughter after a bottle of gin Sirius had stolen from the pub had fallen out of his pocket and rolled across the floor of the shop. By some miracle, the bottle hadn't broken and the shop owner had not asked them to leave despite their obvious intoxication and inability to stop laughing.
"But why did you take a bottle of gin?" Mary asked, wiping away tears of laughter as Sirius put out his right arm to summon the Knight Bus. "You hate gin."
"Yeah, well, it was right next to the firewhisky and it was dark in there," Sirius said, taking a step back and pulling Mary along with him.
They both stumbled and nearly fell over, which threw them into another fit of laughter. They were laughing so hard that they didn't notice the Knight Bus conductor speaking to them until he cleared his throat and repeated himself in a loud, impatient tone.
"Sorry," Mary said, gasping for breath and inspecting her kebab to make sure it had not been damaged in all the commotion. "We'd like to go to Hogsmeade, please."
She rummaged in her bag for money, but Sirius was already handing over a handful of coins. He led the way onto the bus, and she followed him past sleeping passengers to an empty bed near the back. They sprawled across it, and Mary had just taken the first bite of her kebab when the bus took off and she toppled over backwards onto the bed while Sirius roared with laughter.
"You're such an arsehole," she said, pushing herself back into an upright position and brushing her hair out of her face. "You could've warned me. What if I'd fallen right off the bed?"
"Then I would've laughed even harder," Sirius said, shrugging. "Finish your kebab before you drop it."
"Are we even supposed to be eating in here?" Mary asked, casting a guilty glance at the grease spots her fingers had left on the duvet.
"Dunno," Sirius said, looking unconcerned as he took a large bite.
He brushed a few bits of kebab onto the ground, then grinned as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the two-way mirror.
"Padfoot!" James said, peering through the mirror at him and looking relieved. "Where are you?"
"Knight Bus," Sirius said through a mouthful of kebab. "Macdonald has never been on here before, can you believe it?" He tilted the mirror so James could see Mary. "Say hi, Macdonald. Hey, Prongs, did you know Macdonald never learned the fucking Knight Bus song as a kid? And I suppose Evans never did either. That's wild, isn't it?"
James stared at him in amusement for a moment before shaking his head. "Why're you on the Knight Bus? We expected you to be back ages ago. Pete thought you might be dead. I reckoned you were just at the pub, which from the look of you was a correct assumption."
"We just stopped for a drink or two," Mary said, finishing her last bite of kebab and wiping her hands on the duvet before trying to hide the evidence under a pillow.
"Except we were still thirsty after a drink or two," Sirius added, finishing his own kebab and pulling the bottle of gin from his pocket.
"Merlin, are you still drinking?" James said as Sirius took a long swallow and grimaced. "You're going to hate your life tomorrow."
"Most likely," Sirius said, passing the bottle to Mary. "Did you miss me terribly today, Prongs? Bet you were bored out of your mind."
"I did miss you," James said, lowering his voice. "Everyone's just been reading or doing homework all day. Nobody wants to do anything fun! I'm about to die of boredom."
"I heard that," Lily said, leaning over so her face filled the mirror. Mary guessed she must be sitting on James's lap. "Don't be so dramatic, James. We took a break from reading earlier to do something fun."
"Ooh, what'd you do, Evans?" Sirius asked, smirking.
Mary grinned. "I bet they paid a visit to the prefects' bathroom," she said, enjoying the blush spreading across Lily's face.
"Nah, I bet they went up to the dormitory, since we weren't hogging it for once."
"Sod both of you," Lily said, and her eyes darted to James before returning to glare at Mary and Sirius. "I was talking about playing Exploding Snap."
"Although after that we-" James began, but he stopped talking and cleared his throat when Lily nudged him and shot him a meaningful look. Mary noticed that she looked rather pleased despite her flushed cheeks. "Anyway, when do you think you'll be back? I'll try to wait up for you."
"You don't have to do that," Mary said. "We could be ages."
"Ignore her," Sirius said, waving away Mary's protests and almost poking her in the eye. "Wait up for us if you can. We'll see you soon. Wait, before you go, let me say hello to Moony and Wormtail."
James rotated the mirror to reveal Peter frowning down at a Transfiguration book while Remus turned a page in an unidentifiable novel.
"Hi, Moony and Wormtail! Bye, Moony and Wormtail! Bye, Prongs, and Evans! Try to get in another round of shagging before we get back."
The sound of Lily's flustered protests could be heard in the background before Sirius tapped the mirror to break the connection and returned it to his pocket, amused.
"Merlin, I love it when she gets all embarrassed like that," Sirius said before taking the bottle from Mary to take another sip. "Am I a terrible friend?"
"Probably, but so am I," Mary replied. "I think it's hilarious, too. She gets so red and bashful and can't look us in the eye. It gets me every time." She attempted to take a sip from the bottle, then started laughing and choked on her mouthful of gin.
"Merlin, that was attractive," Sirius said, laughing and thumping her on the back. "I think some came out of your nose."
She winced and wiped gin from her face."It did," she admitted. "And that doesn't improve the taste at all, if you were wondering."
"Would you mind keeping it down?" said a soft voice behind them, and they turned to see the conductor standing by their bed, wearing an apologetic smile. "Most of the other passengers are trying to sleep."
"Sorry," Mary said, exchanging a look with Sirius and clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggling.
"And you're technically not supposed to be drinking on the bus," the conductor went on as his eyes fell on the bottle of gin in Sirius's hand.
"Would you like some?" Sirius said, holding out the bottle. "Sorry, it's gin, but it gets you drunk all the same."
Mary detected a flicker of a smile on the conductor's face as he replied, "Thanks, but I'm not allowed to drink on the bus, either. Would you mind just putting it away?"
"He clearly hates fun," Sirius muttered as the conductor retreated to the front of the bus. "No drinking on the bus, what a bunch of rubbish."
"We'd better listen to him, Black," Mary said, taking one last sip of the gin before stowing it back in Sirius's jacket pocket. "If he chucks us off the bus, how the hell would we get back to Hogwarts?"
Sirius sighed. "Fine. But what are we supposed to do for the rest of the ride, then?"
"Let's lie down for a bit," Mary suggested as she slipped off her shoes and slid under the covers. "It might be good to get some sleep."
"Yeah, all right."
Sirius joined her in bed, slipping his arms around her and pulling her close. Despite the unfamiliar surroundings she felt safe and cozy, wrapped in his arms and breathing in his familiar scent. She had begun to drift off to sleep when she felt his hands slide underneath her shirt.
"Black," she whispered, opening her eyes to shoot him a reproachful look. "We can't do that here."
"Why not?" he murmured. "We're in a bed. We've done it in way less appropriate places."
"But there are people around us," she insisted. "And we've just been told off for being too loud."
"So don't be loud," he said before he pressed his lips to hers.
The combination of the kiss and the gentle pressure of his fingers made it difficult for Mary to argue. She fumbled for her wand and attempted a Muffliato before letting go of her reservations, hoping everyone nearby was sleeping too deeply to notice anything out of the ordinary.
When Sirius and Mary returned to the common room, it was deserted except for James and Lily, fast asleep under a blanket in James's armchair. A Quidditch magazine and one of Lily's books lay on the floor at their feet, discarded when the couple could no longer keep their eyes open. Lily's head rested on James's shoulder and her breath made his hair stir every time she exhaled. The sight of them cozied up together made Mary smile, because they really were bloody adorable together.
"So much for waiting up for us," Sirius murmured, grinning down at the sleeping forms of their friends, and at the sound of his voice, James's eyes fluttered open.
"I'm awake, you prat," James said. "Just shut my eyes for a minute. What took you so long?"
Lily stirred next to him and rubbed her eyes, then looked up at Sirius and Mary with a sleepy smile on her face.
Sirius leaned against the arm of the chair across from James and Lily and exchanged a knowing look with Mary.
"We, er, almost got kicked off the Knight Bus," he said, looking far too pleased with himself. "The bloke stopped in the middle of bloody nowhere and threatened to chuck us off. Macdonald had to flash him to get him to let us stay."
"Oh, sod you, that's not what happened," Mary said, shoving Sirius's shoulder and rolling her eyes.
"But why were you almost kicked off?" James insisted. "Wait, don't tell me. It was either for drinking, smoking, causing a commotion, or shagging on the bus. Am I right?"
Sirius and Mary exchanged another glance. "Well, we didn't smoke on the bus," Sirius said with a mischievous grin. "But nice job on the rest."
Lily's eyes had been half-closed, but she snapped awake to gape at Sirius and Mary. "You shagged on the Knight Bus? What's wrong with you?" she demanded as James roared with laughter.
"In our defense, we were in a bed," Sirius said, plopping down onto the chair. "And we're fairly drunk, and it's been a long fucking day, so really, what were we supposed to do?"
"Did the conductor see anything, or were you hidden under the blanket?" James asked, gasping for breath from laughing so hard.
"He didn't see anything," Mary said. She sat down on the arm of Sirius's chair and shook her head at the boys' amusement. "We didn't actually get to full-on shagging. I really thought we were being sneaky, and everyone around us was asleep, but apparently the conductor heard us, because he came over, looking completely bloody embarrassed, and asked us to stop."
"Such a tosser," Sirius said, shaking his head.
"No, he was actually really nice about it," Mary said. "And any normal person would've just stopped the first time he asked."
"Well, it would've been rude not to finish what I'd started," Sirius argued. "And I know you appreciated it, so don't act like you didn't." He turned back to James and raised his eyebrows. "But Macdonald isn't exactly the most quiet person-"
"Oh, we're aware," Lily said, nudging James and smirking.
"You're not quiet either, Padfoot," James pointed out.
"Yeah, that's fair," Sirius said with a shrug. "But anyway, the bloke heard, and that's when he came back and told us he was throwing us off the bus. He had the driver stop, and it wasn't a gradual stop, either. Beds went rolling all over the place, some old lady's hot chocolate spilled everywhere, and I had to grab Macdonald so she didn't roll out of bed with her trousers halfway down."
"I've never seen him laugh so hard," Mary said, torn between annoyance and amusement. "You'd think it was the funniest thing he's ever seen in his life."
"It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life," Sirius said, hooking a hand around her waist and pulling her down onto his lap. "But the conductor bloke wasn't amused, and he pointed to the door and shouted at us to get out, and he only agreed to let us stay when I paid him extra and promised we'd behave."
"And you actually did behave?" Lily asked, incredulous.
Sirius laughed and shook his head. "Fuck no. We went and finished in the loo." He raised his voice to be heard over James's laughter. "But that was Macdonald's idea."
Mary grinned, remembering the impressed look on Sirius's face when she had whispered the suggestion in his ear. "Well, I felt a bit bad because it was my fault we got caught in the first place, and I didn't want Black to be left unsatisfied."
"Merlin, you two are meant for each other," Lily said, shaking her head in exasperation.
Mary glanced over her shoulder at Sirius, wondering what he would make of this comment that had filled her with an odd sort of longing, but she could not read any reaction in his face.
"Aren't those bathrooms tiny?" James asked, frowning. "Wasn't it hard to maneuver around in there?"
"Oh, yeah, it was a bit of a tight fit," Sirius said. He started to say more, but broke off when Lily started giggling. "Really, Evans?"
"I'm sorry," she said, clapping her hands over her mouth. "But come on, you really didn't say it like that on purpose?"
"You just have a dirty mind," Sirius said, shrugging. "Anyway, it was a very small bathroom, and it took a bit of maneuvering, but we got it done in the end." He smirked at James and added, "We used the sink for leverage."
"And the bloke definitely heard us, because when we came out he told us we were about to arrive in Hogsmeade and we were not welcome to ride the Knight Bus again," Mary said, looking sheepish. "The bus driver couldn't even look us in the eye."
"Well, that seems fair," James pointed out. "After the way you defiled his bus."
"Unbelievable," Lily said, managing to get her laughter under control and shaking her head in disbelief.
The four of them fell silent, yawning and staring into the fire. The cozy warmth of the room and the dim lighting made Mary remember how late it was. She was considering the long walk up to bed when Lily looked at her with a more solemn expression on her face, and although she didn't speak at first, Mary could feel the question in those searching green eyes.
"Everything's okay though, Mary?" she asked after a moment. "With your mum?"
The alcohol-fueled shenanigans and laughter had driven away Mary's worries, but she felt some of them come creeping back as Lily's question reminded her of the angry words she and her mother had exchanged. She fought to keep her face neutral and her tone casual as she nodded and heaved a sigh.
"It's all fine," she said. "Just Melanie being Melanie. I dunno why I panicked."
As she spoke, Sirius reached up and tugged on a stray curl before trailing his hand down to rest on her leg. It was a simple, playful gesture, one he had done a hundred times before, but somehow it brought her more comfort than a hug or encouraging words. She looked back at him, longing to express her gratitude and appreciation for the way his solid, reassuring presence had gotten her through the day, as well as something else she wasn't quite ready to admit, even in her head. The feelings were too complex to put into words, so instead she slid off his lap and held out her hand to him.
"Come on, let's go up to bed," she said, helping him up and leading him to the staircase. "McGonagall will murder us if we fall asleep in Transfiguration."