Saturday, December 17, 1977
"Is everything all set for Seven to meet Rosie Roberts later?" Remus asked.
He sat in his usual chair by the fire with a blanket draped over his legs, but he was having trouble focusing on the book open in his lap. His thoughts were occupied by the thought of Seven's reaction when he revealed the surprise he had been planning all week. Keeping it from her had been close to impossible, despite Remus's unique capacity for keeping secrets, and he had to stop himself from blurting it out on more than one occasion. The look of sadness on her face when she asked James to try to get Rosie's opinion on a particular Seeker maneuver was so heartbreaking that Remus had to bite his tongue to stop himself from telling her she could ask Rosie herself. Now that the day of the meeting had arrived, Remus felt an equal amount of relief and anticipation, and he had been checking his watch and picking ruthlessly at his cuticles as he waited for the agreed-upon time.
"Yes, Moony, it's all set, just like it was the last three times you asked me," James said patiently, looking up from his Quidditch magazine. "She'll be in the Head Office at 7:00, so all you need to do is get Seven down there."
"Thanks, Prongs," Remus said, giving up on his book and instead turning his attention to the portrait hole in hopes he would see Seven returning from the library. "She's going to love it."
"I told you, it was all Evans," James said. "Slughorn fucking loves her. She could ask for literally anything, and he'd say, 'Oh-ho, Miss Evans, that's a bold request, but I'll see what I can do,' and then he'd give her that little Slughorn wink and make sure she gets whatever she wants." His words were teasing, but there was also a note of pride. "I bet he can't wait to introduce her to all his special guests at the party tonight. I'll be lucky if I get ten minutes with her."
"If you get desperate, you can always sneak off and shag in the loo," Sirius said with a shrug. "Mind you, if you do that, I might just leave altogether, because the thought of standing around making small talk while Tremblay sucks up in hopes of furthering her future is less appealing than the thought of snogging Wormtail."
"Why is that always the bloody standard of comparison?" Peter demanded. "Why is that the worst thing any of you can think of?"
"Relax, Pete," Sirius said, leaning over to pat him on the shoulder. "Of course that's not the worst thing we can think of. Shagging Bertha Jorkins would be so much worse."
"You're in rare form tonight," Remus observed, raising his eyebrows.
"I am, aren't I?" Sirius swung his legs over the arm of the chair and began to swing them back and forth. "What are you two going to do all night?"
"We're going to get drunk and talk about how glad we are that we don't have to go to Slughorn's party," Peter said, glancing at Remus and grinning. "Right Moony?"
Remus nodded. "Seven's going to join us, too." He held up a hand and added, "No offense. I'm sure you're going to have a great time and everything. We just hate that sort of thing."
He imagined swapping out his comfortable jumper for dress robes and leaving the cozy warmth of the common room to go eat hor'dourves and make polite conversation with people with people he had nothing in common with. Just the thought of it made him anxious.
"I'm not too keen on it myself, honestly," Sirius said, frowning. "Maybe I should skip it and get drunk with you tossers instead."
"But if you hate the idea so much, why did you agree to go in the first place?" Remus asked.
Sirius sighed and hung his head off the other arm of the chair. "I don't even bloody know. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but all of my ideas seem like good ones at the time."
Remus had stopped listening because Seven had just entered the common room and headed for him, a slightly nervous expression clouding her face.
"What's wrong?" he asked, shifting over on his chair so she could squeeze in beside him. He tucked the blanket over her, a gesture that usually brought a smile to her face, but today she didn't seem to notice.
"Abby Gamp's changed her mind about going to the party with Tommy," she said, toying with the end of her braid. "Apparently she's gotten back together with Jeffrey Broadmoor. Tommy's really upset, so he asked me if I'd go with him. I know I was meant to spend the evening with you and Peter, but-"
"Don't worry about us," Remus said, hoping he didn't look as crestfallen as he felt. "But…" He glanced at his watch and frowned. "How long will it take you to get ready? Do you think you could be ready before 7:00? There's something I want to, er, show you, before you go to the party."
Her worry changed to a curious smile as she studied his face, trying to decipher his reason for secrecy. "Yeah, all right," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek before standing up. "I'll go and get ready now, then, and I'll meet you down here a little before 7:00."
Once she had left, James held up a hand and said, "Before you ask, Moony, yes, I still think she's going to like your surprise. This is even better, actually, because she'll have a chance to meet her, and then she can lord it over everyone else at the party that she's on a first name basis with Rosie Roberts."
"I don't see her as the sort to lord it over other people," Remus said, laughing as he tried to imagine it. "But thanks, I think you're right that she'll like it even better this way."
Feeling a slight sense of relief, he picked up his book again and managed to concentrate enough to read a chapter before Seven emerged from her dormitory and he lost the ability to focus on anything else. She wore a simple navy dress that Remus had never seen before, and she had let down her usual braid so her hair fell in loose waves down her back. A self-conscious smile lit her face as she leaned against the arm of his chair and smoothed the front of her dress.
"You look…" His voice trailed off as he realized James, Sirius, and Peter were still in the room and were undoubtedly laughing at his awed expression, but he found he didn't care. He loved Seven in her mud-spattered Quidditch uniform or draped in his most worn cardigan, but this was the first time he had seen her look so polished and sophisticated, and he couldn't take his eyes off her.
"You look really nice," he finished, feeling the word's inadequacy but unable to think of anything more eloquent to say.
She smiled and tugged at the hem of the dress.
"Thanks. I figured I may as well look nice, even if I'm only a fallback date. Except…" Her smile held a hint of regret. "I have no pockets to keep a book in. I know it's dead rude to take out a book at a party, but what if it gets boring?"
The genuine concern on her face made Remus chuckle.
"If you're about to die of boredom, just tell James and Sirius to make some sort of diversion for you." He stood up and reached for her hand. "Ready to go?"
She laced her fingers through his and followed him out into the corridor. Her low heels echoed in the empty corridor, and the torchlight reflected off the delicate silver drops that hung from her ears. For a moment, Remus wished he was going to the party after all, just so he could keep admiring her.
She glanced sideways at him and smirked. "When you said you want to show me something, is that just a euphemism for going to the reading spot?"
He grinned and shook his head. "No, I actually have something to show you."
She looked as though she wanted to ask questions, but she merely nodded and walked along beside him with a thoughtful expression on her face until Remus drew to a stop in front of the Head Office. He savored the look of puzzled interest that drew her brows together and made her eyes narrow.
"What are we doing here?" she asked.
He had considered ushering her in without explanation so she could see for herself what he had arranged for her, but somehow he was sure she would want a moment to compose herself.
"Rosie Roberts is waiting in there to meet you," he said, watching her expression change as his words sunk in.
"What?" she spluttered, eyes wide with incredulity. "How?"
"I knew you wanted to meet her, so Lily asked Slughorn to set this up," he explained. "I didn't really-"
His words were cut off when she threw her arms around him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Her loose waves pressed against his chest and the fabric of her dress rustled as she moved, and the moment seemed to stretch out between them as they held each other tightly. Then she released him, looking slightly sheepish, and tugged at the hem of her dress again.
"Thanks," she murmured, beaming at him. "This is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. And thanks for telling me out here, so I didn't embarrass myself in front of Rosie Roberts."
"For the record, I don't think that was remotely embarrassing," Remus said, trying not to let her see how much her remark had meant to him. "And you're welcome. I just wanted to do something nice for you because you do so much for me."
Her smile faltered. "But now I feel even worse for ditching you to go to the party with Tommy tonight," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to tell him I can't go?"
"No," Remus said, his voice firm. "Pete and I will have a good time on our own. Now you should get in there, because you only have an hour, and I want you to have as much time as possible to talk about the Wronski Feint or whatever it is you're going to talk about."
She leaned in and kissed him again. "I'll see you later. If you're asleep by the time I get back, can I wake you up?"
"Please do," he said, smiling to himself as he watched Seven take a deep breath before opening the door and stepping through into the Head Office.
Remus turned and began the trek back, leaving them to their conversation. He felt a smile spread across his face as he remembered Seven's expression of pure joy and the way she had thrown her arms around him. I made her that happy, he mused, and for once, for just a moment, the nagging doubt that told him he didn't deserve her faded away.
"I feel like they've been up there getting ready for ages," Sirius complained.
He leaned against the back of James's chair, too restless to stay seated. The weight of the flask in his pocket tempted him, but he was trying to resist, because he didn't want to run out halfway through the party. Instead he tapped his wand idly against the back of the chair until sparks flew from the tip and landed in James's hair. After that he alternated between pacing the floor in front of the fire and returning to leaning against the back of James's chair.
"They're bound to come down soon," James said, checking his watch. "It's almost time to go." He raised his eyebrows at the restless path Sirius was now wearing in front of the fire. "Why're you so…?" His voice trailed off and he made a vague gesture that encompassed Sirius's movements.
Sirius shrugged and flopped down into his chair. "Dunno. I hate waiting around, I guess."
"You could go ahead without us, if you like," James suggested. "We can just meet you there."
Sirius scowled and shook his head. "No, if I get there before Tremblay I'll look too eager."
James glanced sideways at him and raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to make a comment Sirius was sure he didn't want to hear, but at that moment Lily came down the stairs, drawing James's attention and ending the conversation.
"Sorry, I know that took forever, but Mary couldn't get my hair to curl the way she wanted it to," Lily said, patting her hair and flashing them an apologetic smile. "Are you ready to go?"
Sirius swung his legs over the side of the chair and got to his feet, but James didn't move. He remained in his seat, gazing at Lily with his mouth slightly open and an expression of disbelieving admiration on his face.
"Prongs, you're staring," Sirius said, nudging him and smirking.
"Sorry," James said, running a hand through his hair and blinking several times. "It's just…" He cast another long, adoring look at Lily. "That dress… You look…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head, a wide grin spreading across his face.
"It's okay, Prongs," Sirius said, laughing. "Talking's hard."
"Oh, shut up, Sirius," Lily said, moving closer to James's chair and leaning down to kiss him. "I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure about the dress. I thought maybe it was a bit…"
Her voice trailed off and she held up her hands, looking to James and Sirius for help finishing her thought, but all James could do was look at her with that same dopey grin on his face. Sirius appraised her outfit, taking in the sleek black dress that was simple in front and cut very low in back, her red hair in loose curls that he knew Mary had fussed over to make them look both effortless and elegant, the merest brush of makeup on her face that brought out the bright green of her eyes.
"You look great, Evans," he said, trying not to wonder what Mary might have chosen to wear tonight and why she hadn't come down the stairs with Lily. "I mean, I don't normally go for redheads, but I'd shag you."
"Oi!" James said, a scowl replacing the dreamy look on his face. "Do you mind not telling my girlfriend you want to shag her?"
"Oh good, you're forming coherent sentences again," Sirius said with a grin. "Relax, Prongs, I'm not her type, anyway. She prefers blokes with awful hair."
"Merlin, you're in rare form tonight," Lily said, shoving his shoulder. "I thought the dress robes might inspire you to act a bit more like, I dunno…"
"A proper gentleman as befits my noble pure-blood name?" Sirius suggested, pulling a face. "Sod that. I'll continue to be my usual lewd, foul-mouthed self no matter what I'm wearing, thanks."
His eyes drifted again to the staircase, and Lily must have noticed the direction of his gaze, because she glanced quickly at James and raised her eyebrows.
"Mary said we should go on without her," she said. "Come on, we should get going so we're not late."
Sirius followed the two of them out of the common room and through the corridors and staircases that led to Slughorn's chambers. His mind kept returning to images of Mary, no matter how hard he tried to pay attention to the conversation. When they drew to a stop outside of Slughorn's office, Stacy was already there waiting. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, looking uncharacteristically shy as she caught sight of Sirius.
"Hi," she said, taking his arm when she realized he was not going to offer it himself. "You look nice."
"Thanks," he said as they stepped through the door and into a room decorated with twinkling fairy lights, garlands, and what looked like real snow falling from the ceiling. "Evans told me I wouldn't be allowed in if I showed up in my leather jacket, so I figured I better wear something decent."
Slughorn greeted them all, then ushered Lily and James away to meet someone, and Sirius left Stacy talking to Jeffrey Broadmoor while he went to find drinks, realizing as he did so that he hadn't even thought to compliment Stacy's outfit. He was on his way back to her with two glasses of champagne clutched in his hand when he saw the door swing open to admit Mary and Eddie Edgecombe..
"I didn't realize Slughorn had invited either of them," Stacy observed, accepting the champagne glass from Sirius and taking a tiny sip.
"Me neither," Sirius lied.
He drank half his champagne in one gulp as his eyes followed Mary across the room. As she waved to James and Lily before letting Eddie lead her to the drinks table, Sirius couldn't help admiring the form-fitting red dress that hugged her curves. It was so tight that it seemed a miracle she had even managed to put it on, and Sirius suspected there was at least one charm in place to keep the zipper zipped and the buttons buttoned. Sirius was not the only one who had noticed her; she attracted several admiring looks as she crossed the room, and Eddie kept sneaking glances at her as though he couldn't quite believe his luck.
"It's a bit bold, wearing a dress like that," Stacy said, glancing sideways at Sirius to gauge his reaction.
"Yeah, I suppose," he mumbled, hardly aware of what he was saying.
Halfway across the room, Mary leaned against Edgecombe and laughed, but then for a moment her eyes seemed to meet Sirius's. Had he imagined it, or did her eyebrows raise the slightest bit, as if in acknowledgement of his attention? Her eyes had darted away before he could be sure, and she was back to sipping her drink and listening to whatever riveting conversation Eddie Edgecombe had to offer.
"Pads, you're staring," James muttered, and Sirius tore his gaze away from Mary to find Lily and James standing next to him.
"Shit." Sirius looked around to see if Stacy had noticed, but she was no longer beside him. "Where's Tremblay gone?"
"She went to the ladies, weren't you listening?" Lily asked, a reproachful look on her face.
"Don't look at him like that, Evans," James said. "How's he supposed to pay attention to anything else when she's parading around dressed like that?"
"For fuck's sake." Lily rolled her eyes, exasperated, but as she cast an appraising look at Mary she added grudgingly, "She does look amazing. But really, pull yourself together, Sirius. You're practically drooling."
Sirius realized his gaze had drifted back to Mary, and he forced himself to look at James and Lily as he drained the rest of his champagne. The bubbles softened the edges of his frazzled nerves, but it wasn't enough, not if he wanted to make it through the night without Stacy throwing a drink in his face when she caught him staring at Mary's plunging neckline.
"Right. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette and, you know, pull myself together," Sirius said, attempting a casual grin before setting off for the far corner of the room where Slughorn had placed several decorative ashtrays.
He took a long pull from his flask, feeling some of the tension leave his body as the alcohol warmed his throat. His hand slid deeper into his pocket in search of his cigarettes, but his fingers closed on empty air.
"Fucking hell," he muttered, realizing he had smoked the last one and forgotten to grab another pack.
"Here," said a familiar voice, and he looked up to find Mary standing beside him, offering him a cigarette.
"Thanks," he said, taking the cigarette and lighting it before taking a long drag.
"You're welcome."
She lit a cigarette and took a drag, and. Sirius tried not to watch the way her lips closed around the cigarette, the subtle look of satisfaction that crossed her face at the first rush of nicotine, the way her eyes closed as the haze of smoke softened her features.
"I wouldn't say no to a sip from that flask," she added, and Sirius stopped staring at her like a bloody idiot and handed over his flask.
"Thanks," she said after taking a sip. "My bag isn't big enough to hold one. And obviously this has no pockets." She gestured at the tight dress.
"It looks bloody good on you, though," Sirius said, because it couldn't go unsaid all night, not when it was that hard to tear his eyes away from her, not when most of the male guests had looked her up and down when their dates weren't looking.
She smirked. "Thanks. It's Lily's, but I don't think she's ever worn it. It's an insult to the dress not to wear it, really."
He raised his eyebrows. "Honestly I'm kind of impressed you even managed to get it on. You and Evans aren't exactly the same size."
She blew out a stream of smoke and glanced sideways at him. "Is that a fat joke, Black?"
"No, it's not a bloody fat joke." He took another sip from the flask and grinned. "I'm just saying, if Evans showed up wearing that dress, I doubt every bloke in here would be staring at her the way they're staring at you."
She laughed and reached for the flask. "It took me almost ten minutes just to wriggle into it. I've reinforced it with an anti-tearing charm and strategically placed Spellotape. It took ages, that's why I showed up late. But I'd say it was worth it."
"Why, because Edgecombe likes it?" Sirius asked.
Across the room, Eddie Edgecombe was chatting with Jeffrey Broadmoor and his father, apparently unconcerned that his date was smoking with Sirius instead of hanging on his arm and laughing at his jokes. Stacy stood next to Lily, smiling at whatever James was saying, but her eyes kept darting across the room to Sirius and Mary, and her smile had a tense, fixed quality.
Mary didn't reply, but her eyes lingered on Sirius for a bit longer than was necessary before she put out her cigarette in the ornate gold ashtray and took one more sip from the flask.
"You know, it's strange to see you in dress robes, but you don't look like a tosser in them like some blokes do."
She reached out to straighten the collar of his robes, and he felt the heat of her touch even through the thick material.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment, Macdonald?" he asked, laughing softly.
"Yes, the same sort as your fat joke that wasn't a fat joke."
Her eyes traveled over him and she gave a little nod of approval. They both seemed to realize at the same moment that her hand still rested on his chest, but she didn't pull it away. Somewhere Slughorn's distinctive hearty laugh rang out, and the band that had been tuning for the last twenty minutes began to play an upbeat song. James and Lily were the first on the dance floor.
"Where's your Quidditch girl?" Mary asked, scanning the room. "I figured you'd be ignoring Stacy to talk to her, not me."
Sirius grinned. "I don't see her. Maybe she and Seven have decided to ditch this thing." He explained about the surprise meeting Remus had set up. "I wouldn't blame them if they did skip this. How long do you think we'll have to stand around making polite conversation and pretending this isn't the most boring fucking way to spend a Saturday night?" he asked, dropping his cigarette into the ashtray.
"I dunno, but I've had about enough already." Mary brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and Sirius noticed her curls were sleek and defined instead of the usual tousled mess. He smiled, wondering how much Sleekeazy's she'd had to use to achieve this look. "Look how bloody pompous Bertram Aubrey looks. If anyone looks like a tosser in dress robes it's Bertram Aubrey."
"Well, to be fair, he looks like a tosser no matter what he wears," Sirius pointed out. "But I know what you mean. Everyone's so smug and self-important. I'd like to do something to wipe the smirks off their faces."
"Like what?" Mary raised her eyebrows and leaned in closer. "Like shagging in the loo?"
Sirius laughed as he imagined Slughorn's face reddening when he discovered two students using his party for such unrefined purposes, but his expression changed as he looked at Mary. Was it wishful thinking on his part, or did her eyes have that glint he knew so well?
"Are you joking?" he asked, hardly daring to breathe although he fought to keep his tone casual. All the fears and doubts and frustrations of the past few weeks felt suddenly unimportant and far away, overshadowed by the heat of her hand on his chest and the desire in the curve of her smile and the brightness of her eyes.
"I dunno, am I?"
She pulled her hand away, leaving a lingering heat in the spot where it had been, and wove her way around talking and dancing guests towards the bathroom. She cast one brief glance over her shoulder, but other than that she gave no indication that she expected or wanted him to follow. It was in his hands, and Sirius found himself hurrying after her before he had time to think about it. As he passed James and Lily, James gave him a questioning look, but he said nothing, only grinned like an idiot before he left them behind and reached the door of the bathroom. For a moment he considered knocking (You bloody idiot, why the fuck would you knock?), but then he pulled open the door and stepped inside before his insecurities or his abandoned date or anything else could intervene.
"I wasn't sure you were going to follow," Mary said, and Sirius saw she had attempted to remove her dress, but the zipper had jammed halfway down, exposing her bra on one side while the other strap of the dress stayed firmly in place.
"What would you have done if somebody else opened the door just trying to take a wee and saw you half naked?" Sirius asked, locking the door behind him and sealing it with a spell for good measure.
She shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been seen half naked. Besides, this is really only a quarter naked." Her lips twitched up into a smile, and she held out a hand to him. "C'mere, you prat."
The champagne and firewhisky gave Sirius a light, floaty feeling and lowered his inhibitions until his insecurities disappeared and he felt only heart-pounding excitement. He stepped forward and pulled her to him, crushing his lips against hers. The past few weeks without her had a vague sense of wrongness, but that faded away as soon as they touched. Suddenly it all seemed so futile, such a colossal waste, and Sirius struggled to find words to express the rush of feelings that were tumbling around his brain.
"Macdonald," he began, pushing back her hair so he could murmur into her ear. "I was a bloody idiot…"
"I know," she breathed. "So was I." Somehow these few words conveyed more understanding than an in-depth confession of her feelings, and Sirius felt a renewed appreciation for the girl he had almost lost for good because of his own stupidity and stubbornness.
"Now shut up and help me with this dress," she said, and he did as he was told.
"Evans, did you see…?"
James stopped dancing to look at Lily, eyes wide with excitement, and saw the same expression of incredulous happiness etched on her face.
"Are they…?" she asked, eyes fixed on the bathroom door.
"Evans, we did it" he shouted. He threw his arms around her and kissed her before spinning her around on the dance floor, paying no mind to the startled dancers around them who were now casting curious looks in their direction. "We got them back together."
Lily considered protesting, because of course their meddling had only done so much, and ultimately Sirius and Mary had made the decision to reunite, but the delight emanating from James was contagious, and she couldn't help feeling that maybe their efforts had helped things along after all.
"We did it," she repeated, beaming at him, and there was something about the twinkling fairy lights and the way James looked in his dress robes and the exhilarated leap in her stomach when she saw Sirius and Mary enter the bathroom together that made her think that she'd never been happier.
"I love you," she said, leaning in to kiss him, except he didn't kiss her back. He gaped at her, mouth slightly open, disbelief creasing his face.
"What?" he asked, and she could see him trying to force the smile from his face in case he had misheard. "What did you just say?"
She felt cold fingers of panic closing around her throat. "I didn't… I mean, I just got carried away because I'm so bloody excited for Sirius and Mary, and it's just so romantic with the lights and the dancing and everything that it just sort of slipped out, but if you don't feel that way, obviously I'll-"
"Evans," he said, putting a finger to her lips to end her flustered stream of words. "Stop talking."
"But-" she began.
"Hang on," he said, releasing her and striding off across the room towards the band, grabbing a glass of champagne from the drinks table on his way.
She watched him wait for the song to end before tapping the singer on the shoulder and whispering something in his ear. A moment later, James had the magical microphone clutched in his hand and he was calling for everyone's attention. Bloody hell, what's he up to? Lily thought, simultaneously terrified and intrigued.
"Hi, er, I hope you're all having a great time tonight, and I'm sorry for the interruption, but this won't take long. For any of you who don't know me, I'm James Potter." He waved at Kevin Broadmoor, who frowned back at him in bewilderment. "Hello, Mr. Broadmoor, I'm a big fan of your radio show, except do you honestly think a new Keeper is going to get the Magpies out of their losing streak, when they've scored a total of five goals in as many games?" He flashed him an apologetic grin before turning his attention to Slughorn. "Thanks for putting this whole party together, Professor," he said, raising his glass in Slughorn's direction. "I also want to say a special hello to Bertie Botts over there." He pointed at Bertram Aubrey, who scowled back at him. "Doesn't he look smashing in those dress robes?"
"James," Lily said, repressing a laugh when she saw the look of horror on Aubrey's face.
"Right, sorry, I'm getting a bit off track. So for any of you who don't know, that lovely redhead over there is Lily Evans. She's Head Girl and the top Potions student in the school, and she's also unfairly good at a Muggle drinking game called Quarters, and she knows the words to every single Paul Simon song, and for some reason she's decided to overlook my idiotic tendencies and be my girlfriend."
Lily kept her gaze locked on James, afraid to blink or breathe or do anything else that would cause her to miss what she hoped he was about to say. The words she had just accidentally spoken felt heavy on her lips, and she studied James's lips, willing them to form the same phrase.
"Anyway, I'm up here disrupting your evening and making a complete fool of myself because I want everyone to know that Lily Evans just told me she loves me. Isn't that absolutely bloody insane? Lily Evans loves me, and I had to grab the microphone and tell everyone, because it's too good to keep to myself. And in case anyone had any doubt, I am 100% head over heels in love with her. How could I not be?"
There was a smattering of applause and cheering, but Lily barely heard it. James ran a hand through his hair and looked at Lily with that typical James Potter grin on his face. She tried to speak, or move, or do anything besides gape like a lunatic, but she could only stand there, transfixed by that goofy grin that used to irritate her more than anything else in the universe.
"So that's the end of my rambling, because Slughorn's giving me a look, but thanks so much for listening." He raised his glass before tossing back the whole thing. "Have a great evening, and happy Christmas, everybody."
Lily still hadn't moved by the time James returned to her, wearing a sheepish but euphoric expression.
"On a scale of one to ten, how much of an idiot am I?" he asked, reaching for her hands and pulling her back onto the dance floor.
She smiled and shook her head in exasperation. "You're off the bloody scale. Previously uncharted levels of idiocy," she said, reaching up to run a hand through his hair in an imitation of the habit she had come to love. "But I love you, idiotic tendencies and all."
"I love you, too. I have for ages, since fifth year when you got Bertram Aubrey with that toenail-growing hex because he made fun of Remus. Did you honestly think I might not feel the same way?"
His glasses were slightly askew, and his hair was even more untidy than usual, and his eyes were so bright and earnest that Lily felt foolish for ever doubting his feelings.
"I guess I just panicked a bit," she admitted. "I tend to do that, don't I?"
"Yes, you do," he agreed, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "But I love you, panicky tendencies and all."
He leaned in to kiss her, and everything else faded away: the music, the decorations, Stacy Tremblay's sour expression, even the triumph of knowing Sirius and Mary were reconciling in the bathroom at that very moment. It should have been terribly cliche, and yet James had a way of making cliche situations feel less cliche than they had any right to be. So she leaned her head against his shoulder and let his words echo in her head as she savored the exquisite happiness of the moment.
A frantic knocking reached Mary's ears. The insistent raps told her the knocking had been going on for quite a while, although she and Sirius were so engrossed in each other that they hadn't noticed. The knocking came again, louder this time and accompanied by an angry female voice.
"Black! Everyone knows you're in there with Macdonald! Come out, because you're making a bloody scene, and some people actually need a wee!"
When her words were met with no reply, there was a thumping sound that indicated she was now kicking the door.
"Black," Mary whispered.
"Maybe if we ignore her she'll leave us alone," Sirius said, trailing his hands along her waist and making it hard to care about anything Stacy Tremblay had to say.
"Fine, if you won't come out, I'm getting Slughorn!" Stacy's voice called from outside the door.
"I don't think that plan's going to work," Mary said, grabbing Sirius's hand before he could make it even more difficult to focus on the conversation.
"Sod off!" Sirius shouted, gently prying Mary's fingers from his. "I need this hand, Macdonald. I'm not nearly as good left-handed."
There was another knock on the door, calmer and less urgent than before.
"I said, sod off!" Sirius shouted.
"Mr. Black!" Slughorn sounded affronted and embarrassed. "I really must ask you and Miss Macdonald to vacate the bathroom. Some of the other guests are starting to complain."
"We're coming!" Mary called, stifling a giggle as she reached for her dress and tried to put it back on. The zipper had broken in Sirius's haste to remove it, and the slit had torn so it was cut even higher on her thigh. "Help me, will you?"
"It's not going to stay on, not properly," Sirius said after several unsuccessful minutes of attempting to force the dress onto Mary's body. "We'll have to make a run for it."
Mary laughed and clutched the fabric against her chest so nothing was exposed. "We probably should've just ditched the party and gone to your dormitory instead of holing up in here."
"Well, yeah, we should've, but that wouldn't have been as good of a story." Sirius tugged on his pants, then slung the rest of his clothes over his shoulder.
She grinned. "You're not going to bother putting your clothes on?"
"Nah," he said with a shrug. "No time, and besides, this will help take the attention off of you." He raised his eyebrows at her and gestured at the door. "Ready?"
She nodded, and he pulled open the door to reveal Slughorn standing there wearing a disapproving frown. Behind him several other guests looked on curiously, but many people continued to dance and drink champagne and seemed not to have noticed there was any commotion going on. Before anyone could stop them, Sirius barreled past Slughorn with Mary following close behind. Stacy gave them a murderous look as they darted past her, but Lily and James both cheered and flashed excited smiles, and even Eddie Edgecombe's face looked friendly as they ran by him towards the exit. On a whim, Sirius grabbed a bottle of champagne from the drinks table before he held up his fingers in a rude hand gesture and shouted over his shoulder, "Enjoy the party, tossers!"
Mary had to grab onto his shoulder to keep herself on her feet because she was laughing so hard, but somehow they managed to make it through the door and out into the hushed corridor. Laughing and stumbling over each other, they didn't stop running until they reached the portrait hole.
"What in the name of Merlin?" the Fat Lady asked, appalled.
"Mind your business," Sirius said. "Chicken thighs."
The Fat Lady swung forward to admit them and they scrambled in, clutching their clothes and trying to contain their laughter. They paused in front of the fire, where Remus and Peter sat absorbed in a game of chess. A hint of marijuana clung to their clothes, and half-full glasses of firewhisky sat on the table in front of them.
"I take it the party was good, then?" Peter asked, tilting his head sideways to peer at them in bemusement.
"Bloody excellent," Sirius said, grinning at Peter and leaning over to ruffle Remus's hair. "Don't come upstairs for a while, yeah? And don't let Prongs and Evans come up, either."
Before either of them could respond, Sirius set off for the stairs, pulling Mary along with him.
"Sorry!" she called over her shoulder, and then they disappeared from sight as she and Sirius bounded up the stairs and tumbled through the door into the dormitory.
"I can't believe we just shagged in the bathroom at Slughorn's party and ran out of there half-naked," she said, pulling the dress down and ignoring the soft tearing sound it made as it passed over her hips.
"I can't believe we willingly went weeks without shagging each other," Sirius said. He dropped his dress robes unceremoniously onto the floor and removed his pants before adding them to the pile of discarded clothes. "What a waste of bloody time."
"I guess we have a lot of lost time to make up for," Mary said, stretching out on his bed and patting the space next to her.
Sirius lay down beside her and draped an arm around her waist.
"Macdonald," he began, and she noticed his easy grin had faltered, replaced by an expression she rarely saw on Sirius's face.
"Don't," she said, running a hand across his chest to trace the scar she had missed so much over the past few weeks. "Shag me first, then we can drink that champagne, and after that we'll have the sentimental sod conversation, okay?"
He grinned and blew a lock of her hair out of his face, and Mary realized how much she had missed the slightly irritated gesture.
"Okay," he said before resuming the task that Slughorn had interrupted.
Mary closed her eyes, savoring the familiar comfort of Sirius's bed and feeling ridiculously grateful that they had acted on the silly, reckless impulse instead of continuing to let fear and insecurity keep them apart.
Peter moved his queen, then watched Remus frown down at the chess board as he tried to decide on a move. He could imagine his friend's brain struggling to concentrate despite the combination of marijuana and alcohol that was making coherent thought difficult. Remus's lips moved silently as he studied his pieces, trying to see the impact of a move, but it didn't come easy to him like it did for Peter, and after a moment he sighed and looked up in irritation.
"You asked me to play just so you could laugh at me, didn't you?" Remus said, taking a sip from his drink.
"Of course I didn't," Peter said as he tried to stifle the laughter that proved Remus's point. "If I wanted to laugh at someone, I would've asked Padfoot to play."
"Well, ask him when he gets back, because I don't have the brain power for this." Remus pushed aside the chess board and finished his drink. "Although that might be asking for trouble, depending on how the party goes."
"James had high hopes for tonight," Peter said, shrugging and casting one last look at the chess game before he folded up the board and packed the pieces away. "Maybe it'll all work itself out before Christmas."
He tossed back the rest of his drink before pouring more for both of them, trying to ignore the stab of guilt he experienced every time he thought about the Christmas holidays. He would take the Hogwarts Express home in just two days, and he still hadn't told his friends he wouldn't be staying at Hogwarts to spend Christmas with them. Every time he thought about bringing it up, he imagined the carefully-disguised disappointment on Remus's face, and he let the words die on his lips.
"I hope so," Remus said. "I know this is mostly because of Padfoot's own idiocy, but I do still feel bad for him." A conspiratorial grin spread across his face, and he added, "Although I don't hate that he's been too sad to play that damn ukulele."
"Merlin, you're right!" Peter said. "He hasn't played in ages." He fell silent for a moment, trying to decide if he'd just had a brilliant or incredibly stupid idea. "What if we borrow it and try to learn how to play something? He'd think it's a real laugh, don't you think?"
"It can't be that easy to learn," Remus argued. "We're not going to be able to play anything. We'll just sound like bloody idiots."
Peter shrugged, undeterred. "Padfoot will love that. He'll enjoy laughing at us. Come on, we're stoned and half-drunk on a Saturday night while everyone else is at a Slug Club party. What else do we have to do besides try to learn to play the ukulele?"
Before Remus had time to argue further, Peter Summoned the ukulele from the dormitory and thrust it into his hands.
"Come on, Moony," he said, attempting a serious tone, although laughter threatened to bubble up and burst out. "There's a great ukulele player inside you, just waiting to be revealed. Give it a go."
"You're an idiot," Remus said, grinning as he accepted the ukulele and gave it a tentative strum. "But so am I for going along with this."
Ten minutes later, they had accomplished nothing besides a lot of unsuccessful strumming accompanied by loud, drunken laughter. After Remus laughed so hard he dropped the ukulele on the floor, Ukiluki took pity on them from across the common room and came over to help.
"Well done," he said after almost an hour of patient coaching. "I think you've mastered the first chord in Jingle Bells."
"Brilliant. How many more chords are there?" Remus asked.
"Four," Ukiluki said uncertainly.
Remus and Peter looked at each other and burst into laughter.
"There's no way I can learn four more," Remus said, shaking his head. "It was hard enough learning this one."
"We'll just play him the first bit of the song, it'll be more than he's expecting, so he'll be impressed," Peter said. "Thanks for trying, mate."
"Yeah, it was really nice of you to put up with two drunk idiots like ourselves," Remus added.
Ukiluki had just gone up to bed, leaving Remus and Peter alone with their refilled drinks and the ukulele, when Sirius and Mary burst into the common room, half-dressed and laughing hysterically. Remus and Peter exchanged a glance as the couple came to a stop in front of their seats.
"I take it the party was good, then?" Peter asked, noticing the glow of happiness that emanated from both of them, as well as an easy familiarity between them that had been missing for the past month.
"Bloody excellent," Sirius said, grinning at Peter and leaning over to ruffle Remus's hair. Peter watched Remus frown and run a hand through his hair to fix it once Sirius had pulled his hand away. "Don't come upstairs for a while, yeah? And don't let Prongs and Evans come up, either."
Once they had disappeared upstairs after Mary called a hasty apology over her shoulder, Remus and Peter sat in silence for a moment, smiling to themselves as they drank in the sense of relief and satisfaction they had gained from seeing their two friends back together. Without saying anything, Peter held up his glass, and Remus clinked his against it before they both drank.
"Fucking Padfoot," he muttered.
"Fucking Padfoot," Peter agreed.
"Christmas will be so much better now."
Remus took another sip of his drink, then set it down and stretched out his legs in front of him. Peter gripped his own drink, staring down at it as he tried to gather the courage to ease into confessing his own plans for the holidays. He was rehearsing a conversation segue when instead he blurted, "I'm not staying at Hogwarts for Christmas."
Remus straightened and looked at him in surprise. "You're not?"
"Shit, I didn't mean to just say it like that, but no, I'm not. I never gave McGonagall my name when she went around writing down who was staying for Christmas. I kept meaning to tell you lot, but I dunno, I felt like I was ditching you or letting you down, so I just never did."
He ran a finger around the ring of condensation left behind by his drink, unable to meet Remus's eye and see the disappointment he knew must be evident in his face.
"Is it because of your mum?" Remus asked. "Because you don't want her to be alone for Christmas?"
Peter nodded, still looking down at the table.
"I understand. James, Sirius, and Lily will too. Of course none of us would think you're ditching us. I never expected any of you to stay. I know it's a lot to ask. You didn't have to be afraid to tell us."
His voice was steady and reassuring, and Peter felt encouraged enough to meet Remus's gaze. He saw none of the disappointment he expected, only affection and understanding, and he felt some of the panic leave his body as he took another sip of his drink.
"I know I didn't. I just…" His voice trailed off and he shrugged. "I talked to Mary about it. We've made plans to meet up in London for my birthday."
"Well that'll be fun," Remus said. "I'm glad you'll have someone to get you drunk. I assume that's her intention?"
"Course it is," Peter said, chuckling. "I dunno how it happened, but we've gotten pretty close, me and Mary. She's just, I dunno, easy to talk to, I guess. Is that weird?"
Remus considered this, strumming the ukulele absently as he thought. "No, I don't think so," he said after a moment. "That's one of the reasons I like Mary, too, because you can tell her anything and nothing phases her. I suppose that's how she's managed to put up with Padfoot for so long…" He broke off, eyes wide. "Hang on, I've just thought of something. Now that you're going home, you can get Padfoot's Christmas present for me. I didn't think I would be able to get it, but since you'll be in London anyway… Actually, you could go in on the gift with me if you like, unless you've already gotten him something."
Peter shook his head. "I just got him a bottle of firewhisky, but I'm pretty sure he 'borrowed it' from my trunk and already drank half of it," he said, grinning. "So what's this gift and where do I get it?"
Remus set down the ukulele and straightened in his chair. "Okay, so you know how he drives the motorbike like an absolute bloody maniac?"
"Where are you going?"
Mary lay sprawled out in the bed with the blankets tangled around her legs and her hair spilling across the pillow and falling into her face. Her eyes were half closed, and her face was relaxed into an expression of complete satisfaction. Sirius paused for a moment to appreciate the sight of her, realizing just how much he had missed seeing her in his bed like this.
"I'm getting that bottle of champagne for us," he said, retrieving the champagne and a bar of chocolate from Remus's trunk. "I thought you might be thirsty."
He tapped the bottle with his wand, sending the cork flying across the room and a spray of bubbles pouring over the side of the bottle to splash down onto Mary.
"Don't waste it," Mary complained, laughing and shielding her eyes.
"I wasn't planning on it." Sirius bent and began to lick the spilled champagne from her bare stomach.
"You bloody weirdo," Mary said, although she did not pull away. "At least let me have the bottle, then."
"Hang on, first we're going to do a toast," Sirius said, raising the bottle in the air. "To Slughorn, for generously providing his bathroom and this champagne, and to Evans for lending you that excellent dress that sadly didn't survive the evening, and to Edgecombe and Tremblay for being good sports when we ditched them earlier."
He took a sip, then handed the bottle to Mary and stretched out beside her, propping himself up against a pillow. Mary rested her head against his shoulder as they passed the bottle back and forth in companionable silence. Once they had each smoked a cigarette and finished most of the bottle, Sirius slouched down and placed the pillow behind his head.
"Is it time for the sentimental sod conversation, do you think?" he asked, turning his head to look at Mary.
She sighed and nestled against him with her head on his chest, and the familiarity of the gesture seemed to erase the past month of separation so it felt as though nothing had ever changed between them.
"Probably," she said, sounding apprehensive. "Unless you'd rather get a bit more drunk."
He shook his head. "I'd fucking love to, but I think we both need to stay sober enough to remember the conversation."
Their eyes met, and he saw a flash of regret darken her features. Was she thinking of their unacknowledged payphone conversation the night he crashed his motorbike? Or perhaps she was remembering her unfinished gin-fueled confession at the Three Broomsticks that had led to so much misunderstanding and frustration. We're idiots. Such bloody idiots. He took one last sip of champagne before handing the bottle to Mary to finish off.
"All right," Mary said, draining the last of the bottle and setting it on the floor beside the bed. "How do we do this? Do you want to go first, or should I, or…?"
She began to trace the scar on his chest, and the gentle motion of her fingers calmed him. He took a deep breath and tightened his arm around her, taking comfort from the warmth of her body next to his.
"Shit," he said, staring up at a fixed point on the ceiling to give himself something else to focus on. "I've had feelings for you for fucking ages. Ever since…"
He shook his head and reached for his pack of Marlboro's. "Hang on, I need a bloody cigarette." His hand shook as he lit the cigarette, but as he inhaled the nicotine quelled some of the panic that made him want to drink until this conversation no longer terrified him.
"Ever since the night you crashed your motorbike?" Mary asked.
Sirius turned to face her, surprised. "Yeah. I wasn't sure you remembered that conversation."
"I didn't think you remembered it," she replied.
He shook his head. "I didn't at first. And then it all came back to me the night we went out for your birthday."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
He could feel her breath, warm against his bare skin. A strand of her hair fell into his face and tickled his chin. The weight of his feelings for her and the fear of revealing them felt like a physical presence hovering beside them, refusing to be ignored any longer. Sirius's heart began to race, but he took a long drag on his cigarette and forced himself to continue.
"I dunno. I didn't want to bring it up if you didn't feel the same way. I thought maybe you'd changed your mind or hadn't meant what you'd said," he admitted, recalling the sharp rush of panic that had ripped through him when that memory surfaced out of the depths of his consciousness. "Why didn't you say anything?"
She wrapped a curl around her finger and draped a leg over his. "Same reason," she said, and Sirius noticed she looked much calmer than he felt.
"Well, fuck. We're idiots, aren't we?" he asked, laughing as he blew out a stream of smoke.
"This isn't new information, Black," Mary said, grinning. "But it's not too late to be a bit less idiotic."
"Right," Sirius said, trying to work up to the three words that would be the ultimate revelation of his feelings.
Various thoughts and memories tumbled around in his head, and he struggled to make sense of them and put them into words in a way that would make sense. Eventually he dropped his cigarette butt into the empty Butterbeer bottle and said, "I can't sleep properly without you. The bed feels all empty and wrong, and I can't fall asleep, or I wake up and just lie there for hours. That's pathetic, isn't it?"
"It's not pathetic," Mary said softly, her fingers returning to trace his scar again. "I can't sleep without you either. I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep since the last time I slept in here."
"And I've just… Fuck, I've missed you," he said, encouraged by her admission. "I like just sitting around the common room while you braid my hair, or smoking a cigarette with you before class, or stealing one of Moony's chocolate bars and sharing it with you while we lay here doing absolutely nothing, or…"
"Giving you a look when James and Lily say or do something that's only funny to us?" she suggested. "It killed me, that day we decorated the common room, because there we were laughing about some dumb innuendo, and it felt like we were us again, you know? But then we barely spoke for the rest of the night, and we both went to bed alone, and it made me sad but I had to pretend I was bloody fine."
She curled closer to him, her hair fanning across his chest, and Sirius smelled the scent of Sleekeazy's and realized how much he'd missed it. With a pang he remembered hurling her full bottle across the room, and he hoped in this instance they weren't thinking the same thing.
"I felt the same way that day," Sirius admitted. "That's why I acted like a fucking idiot and you had to save my arse so I didn't break my neck. That's why I spent the last month acting like a fucking idiot, because I hated not being with you. You're honestly one of my best friends, and I can tell you things I wouldn't normally talk about, and I'm just happier when I'm with you even if we're not doing much of anything, and you know how to handle me when I'm drunk and obnoxious or angry, and you just fucking handle things on your own that would have me falling apart."
As he continued to speak, his thoughts began to pour out in a steady stream, and as long as he didn't let himself think too much about what he was saying, he was confident he could get the words out. Beside him Mary was silent and solemn, her eyes wide and her hand resting on his chest. He looked at her, letting the feelings build until he had no choice but to speak them aloud.
"I tried to tell you this so many times, but I was so bloody afraid you didn't feel the same. And then when you were drunk at the Three Broomsticks, I really thought you were about to say… but then you said it was all just drunken rubbish, and it's pathetic, but when you said that I…"
His words caught in his throat, and he couldn't bring himself to tell her how crushed, how devastated he had been when she dismissed the whole conversation.
"Well, anyway, I thought shagging Tremblay would make me feel better, but it was obviously a bloody awful idea and it fucked everything up, and here we are."
"Black," Mary began, looking up at him with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Hang on, let me finish my sentimental sod rambling, because if I don't say this now I'll never work up the nerve to say it," Sirius said,
He sensed the words hovering there, unspoken but begging to be released. For a moment he hesitated, lingering in the in-between state before he said the phrase that would make an irrevocable change in their relationship. Then he steeled himself and plowed ahead before his fear and insecurities could overpower the bliss of the evening with Mary and the slight numbing effect of the alcohol.
"Fuck it. I love you, Macdonald, and I don't know how to handle that, because I don't say that to anyone, and obviously I'm rubbish at talking about my feelings or having feelings in general. But I figured I'd better tell you even though it's bloody terrifying, because not telling you turned out to be even more of a disaster."
His voice sounded unnecessarily loud in his ears, and he fell silent, giving his heartbeat time to return to normal. Now that the words had tumbled from his mouth out into existence, he felt lighter, freer, unfettered by his feelings. They were out in the open now and he no longer needed to worry about confessing them. The Quaffle was in Mary's hands now, so to speak.
"Bloody hell, Macdonald," he muttered when Mary didn't respond but simply lay there looking up at him. "Would it kill you to say something?"
She remained silent, but tilted her head up and kissed him. The intensity of the kiss and the reassuring warmth of her hand against his face felt like an answer, but Mary must have felt that a verbal response was required, because she pulled away and lay there facing him with their faces inches apart.
"I love you too, Black," she said, and for a moment he forgot to listen to the rest of her words because that first sentence was echoing in his ears. "...wanted to tell you before," she was saying when he became aware of the conversation again, "but I panicked and thought maybe you didn't feel the same, and then when you shagged Stacy and acted so casual about it, I pretended I didn't care about any of it, but really it was killing me. And then everything got so out of hand, and I wanted to go back to how things used to be, but I was too proud or stubborn or afraid you were happy with the new situation. Which I suppose is why you didn't try to fix things, either."
Sirius thought about the two of them longing to be together but holding out because of pride and fear of rejection and stubbornly pretending everything was fine. A wry smile spread across his face even though it wasn't funny, and he shook his head and tugged at a strand of her curls.
"So basically the last month could have been avoided if we weren't such huge bloody idiots," he said, shaking his head in exasperation.
"We've always known we're the same sort of idiots," she said, settling back against his chest. "That's why we get along so well. This time it just sort of blew up in our faces, I guess." She traced the scar on his chest and added thoughtfully, "You did say I love you to me once before, you know."
Sirius frowned. "Did I? I don't remember that."
She grinned. "Well, no, you wouldn't. You were the drunkest I've ever seen you. Remus and I had to carry you up to bed."
Fragmented memories of that night came back to Sirius, but he recalled nothing of that particular conversation.
"Did you say it back?" he asked.
"Yeah, but I think you had fallen asleep by that point," she said, pulling the blankets up to cover her bare legs.
"And then you never said anything to me about it because you thought I didn't mean it because I was drunk," Sirius said, glancing at Mary and taking her sheepish smile as confirmation. "Macdonald, how many times do I have to tell you, if I say something when I'm drunk, I mean it?"
Sirius wondered if anything would have changed if he had remembered this drunken confession, but if his botched responses to other conversations about feelings were any indication, he would likely have kept the memory to himself and hoped Mary never brought it up.
"Merlin, we're infuriating, aren't we?" she said, blowing a piece of hair out of her face.
"Just a bit." He hesitated, trying to decide how to phrase his next statement without sounding like the sort of sentimental person he detested. "I suppose we should, I dunno, talk about where we go from here."
Mary propped herself up to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Sirius Black, are you trying to have the relationship talk with me?"
The subject had made him uncomfortable even before her comment. Now he sighed and rolled his eyes. "You're right, this is bloody stupid. We've met our serious talk quota for a lifetime. Let's just get drunk and steal more of Moony's chocolate."
"Black," Mary began, but Sirius ignored her.
He stood up and went to his trunk, then frowned. "That's right, I've been stealing Pete's-"
"Black," she repeated, raising her voice to speak over him. "Come back to bed. I was only joking. I know we both hate this sort of thing, but we do need to talk about it." She grinned and added, "I wouldn't say no to a bit of firewhisky, though, if you don't think Peter would mind."
Sirius retrieved the firewhisky from Peter's trunk and slid back into bed, taking a sip before handing the bottle over to Mary. The liquor warmed his throat as he gathered his thoughts and pulled Mary closer.
"I don't want to be with anyone else," he began, surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. "Do you feel the same?"
Mary began to trail her fingers across his chest, her touch so light he could barely feel it. "I feel the same," she said.
"But I don't want that to mean we have to hold hands and go to Madam Puddifoot's and act all couply," Sirius said, making a face.
"That doesn't sound like us," Mary agreed. "I don't see why we'd have to act any different. Except, obviously, I won't be meeting up with Eddie Edgecombe anymore."
"And I won't be shagging Tremblay," Sirius said, grinning before his expression turned pensive. "And I don't want to… I don't think I can say I love you all the time. Not because I don't feel it, but because, I dunno, I just don't say that. To anyone."
He thought of a conversation he'd had with Euphemia just after he had run away from Grimmauld Place. He had made some comment about not overstaying his welcome, and she had put a hand on his arm and said, Don't be silly, Sirius. It's no bother, having you here. We love you. He had been so baffled, so taken aback, that he had gaped at her for several seconds before he managed to choke out a response. Euphemia had seemed to understand how unaccustomed he was to hearing this sentiment, because she was undeterred when her professions of love were not reciprocated, and was content even when his responses consisted of an uncomfortable smile or a muttered "Thanks."
Mary turned to look at him, and the expression on her face told him that like Euphemia, she understood without needing to ask questions or press him for details. "That's fine with me," Mary said. "I'll just assume you still feel the same way unless you say otherwise, and you can do the same for me."
"So that's settled, then," Sirius said, taking another sip from the bottle. "Bloody hell, I wish we had a bit more time before you go home for Christmas. It's been a long month."
Mary reached for the bottle and took a sip before setting it on the floor next to the bed.
"We have tonight and all of tomorrow, though," she said, reaching up to run her hand through his hair. "We just have to make the most of the time we have."
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers combing through his hair, before inclining his head to kiss her and press his body against hers, intent on making up for lost time.