XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxx
Chapter 15 - Reminiscing
Tony woke up peacefully. He had been dreaming he was on a spaceship that had malfunctioned and left him unconscious. He lay in the warm sheets and took a deep breath. He could smell Pepper's lavender soap that she always used. He rolled onto his back and opened his eyes.
He felt her hand on his chest begin to tease his hair. "How did you sleep?" She asked him softly.
He was still tired and rubbed his face. "Good. What a crazy ass dream-"
He stopped talking and sat up in shock. He exhaled and saw white smoke come out of his mouth. "What the shit is this?"
Pepper laughed at him. "It's completely alright."
"I'm like a fucking dragon! This isn't normal. What the hell? Am I going to breathe fire next?!" He exclaimed with the white smoke coming out of his mouth.
She had been prepared for this. "It's some medicine John has given you. Relax. It will wear off in a little bit."
"What for now?"
"He said that stuff in your bloodstream….umm…."
"Palladium." He helped.
She nodded and pointed at him. "Yes. That. He thinks he might be able to get it to reduce since you had to use a….phaser?"
He pointed at himself. "I haven't used a phaser. He told me not to!"
"Lewis pushed you through a wall. Maybe I'm using the wrong word?"
He lay back in the bed and ran his fingers through his own hair. "Pushed me through a wall. No. That would be a phaser. Can you hand me my jeans I was wearing?"
She stood up and walked over to the closet, bringing back his jeans. She walked back across the bed on her knees and handed them to him. She watched as he reached in one of the pockets and took out a small box. He laid his thumb to it and pressed a button. It beeped and he put his thumb in his mouth. "Ouch….17%. Well, that's better."
She pulled his hand from his mouth and looked at his thumb. A dot of blood appeared on it. "What is that?"
"It tests the palladium level in my blood."
"So, it's a needle?"
He sat it on the table next to bed. "Yeah. That's how you get blood out. What time is it?"
"It's the middle of the night. You've been asleep all day." She lay back down and yawned.
"What have you been up to?"
She smiled with her eyes closed, "I went shopping with Rose on an alien planet."
He laughed, "Yeah, right."
"John wants you to sleep until morning." She told him.
Tony rolled his eyes. "I have stuff to do-"
"Nothing that can't wait a few hours."
He groaned and rubbed his bare chest. He looked surprised at it. "Well, this is a way to keep me from tearing my shirts."
She pulled the duvet back on herself without opening her eyes.
He looked back at her. "Did you take off all of my clothes?"
She lay with her eyes closed. "Just to your underwear, so you would be comfortable."
He smiled at her. "What are you wearing?"
She didn't open her eyes. "Go to sleep, Tony."
He groaned, "Where's the kid?"
"John and Rose's."
He rolled out of the bed and rubbed his head. She sat up and looked at him. He pointed at her before she had a chance to say anything. "The dragon going to pee! Damn. Calm down."
She lay back down and closed her eyes. She must have drifted off because she woke up a short time later, and he wasn't back in the bed. She sat up and looked around. She saw the lights were on in the main room.
She got out of bed and walked into the main room. There, she saw Tony sitting on the sofa, sipping some water and looking at a photo album. The trunk they had gotten from the safe deposit box sat opened on the floor. He wore a pair of jogging pants and a black tank top. His bare feet were propped up on the table.
She walked over to him and sat down.
"I didn't wake you up, did I?"
She leaned on his shoulder and pulled the blanket that sat on the back of the sofa over herself. "No. Are you alright?"
He put his arm around her and kissed her head. "I'm okay. I just can't lie down anymore."
"What are you looking at?"
"There was this photo album in this chest. I've not seen these pictures in years."
"I can leave you alone if-"
"Nah. It's alright. You know most of these people. Like this guy." He pointed at a black and white picture of a very young Howard Stark and Obadiah Stane sitting at a desk together. "Obie looks odd with hair."
Pepper smiled and pointed a picture next to it. It was of a beautiful woman dancing in a ballroom with Howard Stark, "And that's your mom."
"Yeah. That's her."
"What was her name?"
"Maria. Maria Collins Carbonell….Stark."
He flipped the page and she saw pictures of a young boy. One showed him sitting in the lady's lap. He pointed at it. "Me and Mom, on vacation someplace." He pointed to another picture of the small boy who was standing on a table next to Howard Stark, with his arm wrapped around his shoulder. Both of them wore a suit. "Me and Dad. It was a press conference, or something. I can't remember what." He pointed at another picture of the same little boy sitting at a table with his Mom. There was a book opened in front of him and a pencil in his hand. "Mom doing lessons with me." He pointed at another picture of Howard Stark, wearing suspenders and pointing at someone with a pen. In his other hand, he held a small coffee cup. "Dad liked tea better than coffee."
She smiled, "Just like you."
He flipped the page and chuckled when he saw the photo, "And this guy."
Pepper looked at the old, black and white picture. It was of a tall, skinny man who stood up very straight.
"He looks like an old soldier." Pepper said.
Tony looked at the pictures. "He was a member of the Royal Air Force, and the RAF boxing champion for three years in a row. See? That's what we did all of the time."
He pointed at pictures of the man boxing in a ring with a dark, haired boy around ten or eleven years old. It was clear they were laughing and having fun together.
"I looked forward to that every summer. Boxing lessons." He smiled.
She spread the blanket onto his lap and held him around his waist. "Who was he?"
He looked surprised back at her. "You don't know?"
"No."
He pointed back at the picture of the man who held the teenage Tony's hand up in the ring. "Jarvis. Edwin Jarvis. Our butler when I was young. He retired a few years after Mom and Dad died."
She smiled, "So, Jarvis is a real person."
"He was." He kissed her head. "He was a good sport and put his voice to that program for me. It was a school project that spun out of control. The first version, I installed in his home. It was meant to help him with…you know….those little things."
She smiled, "I've never known you to be so nostalgic."
He rolled his eyes. "I'm not nostalgic. It's just some things shouldn't be forgotten."
"Reminiscent, then."
He nodded, "Yes. Just because all of this is here." He flipped the page and pointed a picture of a woman holding a newborn baby and smiling. "And this picture." He sighed.
Pepper smiled, "That's you."
He shook his head. "Nope. That's my brother. Arno. He died right after this. No one knows about him. This is the only picture of him that was ever taken."
He pointed at another baby picture on the same page. It was very small and had a number printed under it. "This is me. The picture from the orphanage where Dad got me. In Bulgaria." He pointed at another piece of official paperwork. "My actual birth certificate. Dad had the one I use processed through the state department. Arno doesn't have one."
Pepper couldn't believe he was telling her this. "Tony, I never had any idea."
"No one does. He brought me home just days after he died. Everyone knew Mom had been pregnant, so I was the decoy. There's a lot more to that, but that's mostly the story. I was chosen, because I looked the most like him. That and my birth mother had already named me 'Anthony'. Dad's name was that, so he just added to it."
"Did she die?"
He shook his head. "No. She didn't want me. My Dad was sure to tell me that everytime he would drink."
"What happened to her?"
"She was a singer. In a band. The British asked her to work undercover, with the army or whatever it is called there. She was from London. After the war, she had a music label up until she died about twelve years ago."
She smiled, "That music label you bought. I've always wondered about that."
He nodded. "She loved music. I never met her, but I know I love it. It had to come from someplace. I heard it was in, financial difficulty, so I stepped in and bought it before she died. She never knew it was me."
"That's the reason they let you on stage to sing." She smiled.
"No. I'm on stage because everyone knows me." He closed the photo album and sat it on the table.
He sat back and rubbed his chin. "This kid thinks his Dad didn't want him and sold him to these monsters that hurt him. I don't want him to think that. It's a hard way to grow up. Even if it ends up being true."
She sat back and looked at him. "Tony, I never knew any of this about you. I thought I knew everything about you."
He smiled at her, "I'm really not that interesting."
She rose her eyebrows at him.
He pointed at himself. "I'm completely normal. See?"
She shook her head. "I'm not even going to get into that with you again."
He laughed, "Alright, fine. Tell me about you. I know some stuff."
She wrapped the blanket around herself lay her head in his lap. "What do you think you know?"
He grinned down at her and ran his fingers through her hair. "I have a spy. Your name is Pepper because you have red hair."
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "That's not why. And it's not my name."
He held up a finger, "Hang on a minute. I need a fact check."
He rose up and moved the files on the table around and found his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a small piece of paper. He tossed his wallet back on the table as he looked at the paper. "Got it. Virginia Potts from Northern California." She tried to grab the piece of paper from him only for him to laugh and hold it out of her reach. "Raised by her grandfather who owned a grocery store."
She rose up and took the paper from him. She lay back down in his lap and looked at the paper. "Where did you get this? This isn't your handwriting."
He ran his fingers through her hair. "Is it right?"
She read it and laughed, "Oh boy. Some of it is really wrong."
"Which parts?"
"I don't take my coffee like this."
"Damn. That was the one I was the most excited about."
She laughed and looked up at him. "Seriously. Where did you get this?"
He smiled, "Logan gave it to me. He said it would help."
She looked at it, "My favorite flower, yes. My favorite color. That's right. My favorite song? That's not right."
"Maybe you should make some notes on it for me."
She rose up and took his wallet from the table and put it back inside of it. "I'll make you another one, with all of the right information on it."
He smiled, "My Pepper cheat sheet. Yes. That would be better."
She sat his wallet back on the table and saw a file with a picture of a very skinny kid in a black and white picture. She picked it up. "That looks like Steve Rogers."
Tony laughed, "I bet it does."
She sat it back on the table. "Probably his grandfather or something."
"Something like that." He chuckled.
She sat up on the sofa and looked at him. He turned and put his arm on the back of the sofa.
"Tony. I've had such a good time this weekend. I can't remember when I've been able to just….relax like this. It's been really nice."
He smiled and took her hand in his. "Me too. Well, except for the entire lack of oxygen thing today. I'm glad I didn't relax too much."
She smiled, "So, am I. But, I feel like I owe you an apology."
"For what?"
"I said some things to you that night, when we came up here to play cards."
"I'm not worried about that. I don't even remember what you said-"
"Well, I do. You asked if you were 'damaged goods'. I don't want you to think that. No matter what happens between us. You're not."
He sighed and propped his hand up on his fist. "I don't believe I'm going to like this conversation."
She rubbed his thigh, "It's just some things I need to say to you before this goes any further."
"Okay. Unless you are breaking up with me. Then, I don't want to talk about it."
She smiled at him, "I'm not breaking up with you. Tony, you are a very good person. I don't know why you spend so much time trying to convince people that you're not."
"I don't like them. They only like the idea of me."
"Well, I know the real you. I think I can say I know you better than you know yourself."
He thought and nodded, "That's probably true."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, there are two big things I have to tell you. And I don't want you to ever tease me about this. It's not something I want anyone to know."
He held her hand and kissed it. "Okay."
"Promise me, Tony. I'm serious."
He nodded his head. "I promise. What?"
She closed her eyes and he could tell whatever it was, she was having a hard time saying it. He moved closer to her on the sofa and laid his forehead to hers. "Pepper. Kiss me first. It will make it easier."
She wiped a tear from her eye, "No. That will make it worse. I don't know how you are going to feel about this."
"It's important to you. It's upset you. Let me help you feel better about it. What is this about?"
She wiped another tear from her eyes. "I can't believe I'm crying."
"What? Do I need to go kill Happy? Someone-?"
She smiled, "No. Nothing like that."
"Then what?"
She took both of his hands in hers and closed her eyes again. "Seeing you. With Soler, I'm saying that right?"
"Yes. What?"
"Seeing you with him makes me realize that one day, you might want …."
He looked confused, "What? A child?"
She shook her head, "I can't give you that."
He looked surprised, "Really?"
"I really can't. I don't want to explain why. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to really think about it. But, I don't feel like it would be fair to you to continue this….entire thing….if that's a big deal to you."
"Why would that be a big deal to me?"
"I feel like it's something you should know."
He leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Pepper, no. It is honestly, not a big deal to me at all. Can I ask something about this?"
She nodded her head. He leaned back and pulled a tissue out of a box and handed it to her. "Is this a big deal to you? Is this something you need?"
She wiped her eyes and shook her head. "No."
"You're sure? But, you are alright?"
She smiled as she took a deep breath and composed herself. "No one has ever asked me that. I am fine. I'm totally fine without that, it's just something that I can't do."
He looked confused, "Is it something, that -
She closed her eyes and sighed. "I knew you would need more of an explanation. It is you, after all."
"I promise I'm not going to be an ass about this. You have my permission to kick my ass if I am."
"I'd do that anyway. I don't need your permission."
He chuckled, "Right. Okay. Explain this to me. Please."
She pointed at him, "I had some problems with things when I was very young. The only way to resolve it was to have some things removed. So, that's what happened. Please don't dig any deeper about this. I don't want to talk about it."
He took both of her hands in his and looked in her eyes. "Pepper. It is seriously. Not. A big deal."
"You're sure?"
He pressed his forehead to hers. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you the same thing."
She sat back, "Wait. What? You?"
He nodded, "I'm the last Stark. Unless I was to adopt or something. Dad made it very clear he didn't want any idiot off spring of mine to inherit his life's work."
"Tony, that's terrible."
"He was a chemist. He helped create super soldiers and shit for the army during the war. Highly classified stuff. That's what those files are. Recipes. In there, is the recipe he used for me. I was a week old, and it details how he gave me injections to make more of my brain work. Injections that would give me faster reactions, and most of the things the soldiers had. With all of that, some things were sacrificed."
Pepper looked horrified. "He did this to you?"
He nodded, "Yes. I've suspected he did for a long time, and John did a few tests and we thought I was right. But reading this tonight confirmed it."
"You know. I really don't like this man."
Tony grit his teeth and shook his head, "You're in good company then."
She rubbed both of his thighs. "I'm glad I told you about this."
He was lost looking at her. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear and looked longingly at her. "Me too. You're all I have Pepper, and you're all I want."
She smiled, "Then that brings me to the other thing."
"Oh God. Is it as big as the first thing?"
She rolled her eyes. "This one, I need you to kiss me before I tell you."
He smiled, "Alright. I can do that."
He leaned in and kissed her. He cupped her face with his hands and felt her hands rub high on his thighs. After a few moments, she smiled at him and looked him in the eyes. She whispered, "Tony. I love you. I have for a very long time."
His face spread into the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face. He whispered back to her. "This is so unfair to you. I'm sorry we did it this way."
She sat back and looked shocked at him. "What?"
He grabbed her hands quickly. "No, no, no. I don't mean like that. I just….I wanted to tell you first."
She looked confused.
He continued, "I fell, completely in love with you, a very long time ago. I just, didn't know how to tell you. I wanted to tell you so many times and I ….just couldn't get my mouth to say it."
She smiled and laid her forehead to his. She kissed his lips quickly. "Then forget what I said-"
"Never. Hey, I need to tell you something."
They continued to kiss one another. "Tell me."
"I love you so much, Pepper. I really do."
She lay down on top of him on the sofa. "Tell me again."
He laughed as they continued to kiss. "It's your turn."
She giggled, "I love you."
"Am I still a secret?" He asked her quietly.
"Yes."
"Will you still love me when I'm not?"
She teased, "Unless you tell."
"I'll never tell. Not a soul."
"You better not." She teased him.
He kissed her again and smiled, "Bossy."
XxxxXxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx