"So that's it?" Alice swirled her drink round the glass.
"Well, that's it for them, sent to Melbourne for their hearing, Papa Benedetti is already dead these guys will get time, you will be safe, so yeah, that's it."
"Oh," she stared into her glass, "so I suppose I need to pack?"
"Alice," he sighed, "you don't need to go, if you don't want to." He stood up and went to gaze out of the window. "I like having you here, all of you," he whispered.
The truth was Alice liked being there, too. She liked the family feeling, the way they moved around each other, how the children accepted this life – she felt complete.
"Perhaps," she hummed, "we should be sure, first."
"Of course, it is up to you," he turned, "you must be comfortable with the idea of moving back to your house."
"And, I would have to speak to the landlord," she shrugged, "I mean I never told him what was going on, for security's sake. You said nobody should know, it was supposed to look like I did a flit ... you said ... then there is the court case, what if they get off ..." she looked down at her feet, "I mean, we wouldn't be safe ... in our house, would we?"
"Didn't your landlord even try to find out where you were?" he frowned, "surely he would have tried, after all no forwarding address – did you pay him the rent?"
She went and stood next to him at the window. "We were up to date, now I am a couple of days late, but I instructed the hospital to say nothing, or at the least to say they weren't sure of my whereabouts." She waited for his reaction, "after all it was supposed to be a flit, wasn't it? He didn't want to rent to a single woman, I could see he didn't trust me when he took the huge deposit off me ... he's probably changed the locks," she sighed.
He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Stay," he murmured, "at least until after the court case, if that makes you feel safer."
She put her arms round him and lay her head against his chest, feeling the steady, reliable rhythm of his heart thump-thumping away. With his arms now round her she could stay like that forever – then he tipped her face up to his and gently and softly laid the sweetest whisper of a kiss on her lips.
"Oh, Matthew," she sighed, melting into his kiss.
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She stood up and pulled her blouse closed.
"Matthew, I'm sorry," she gulped, "I ... I want to, but ..." she bit her bottom lip – oh how she wanted him to take her, there on the couch, but the children might hear ... they weren't married and if the children caught them there was no telling what they might let slip ... all the thoughts tumbled around in her head; embarrassment, disappointment in herself, cowardice...
"Hey, it's alright," he stood up and held her arms, "I understand, and yeah – it would be the night one of them woke and needed you." He tipped his head to one side, "of course, Alice, if we were married ..."
She sniffed and gaped at him.
"You did ask what we do about the fact that I love you, the other night," he gave a little cheeky grin, "and I know you're going to say it hasn't been long enough, but, we could say it has been years, at least since we first met – so, what do you say, shall we make it official, formal, legal – whatever, will you marry me?"
"It's not just marrying me, though, is it Matthew? I have two children ..."
"And I am prepared to take them on," he smiled, "I don't know much about kids, but I feel close to them already. I never thought about being a father, that I may be missing out when I didn't find anyone that I felt as comfortable with as I feel with you – that ease I felt all those years ago, I will never be their father, but I would like to ..."
"You are already a better father to them than their own father was." She stopped him.
"Alice!" he gasped.
"Oh, he wasn't cruel, he just wasn't there most of the time, you've probably done more with them in the past few months than he ever did, you would make an excellent father."
"So, is that a yes?" he looked so hopeful it made here smile, but ...
"It is, but I think it only fair I speak to the children before confirming," she sat down again and kissed him, "I don't think there will be any argument."
Matthew held her tight and grinned like an idiot, or at least that's what he confided in Lucien when he asked him to be his best man.
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"Does that mean I can call him 'daddy'?" Stella jumped up and down when her mother took the two of them into her room the following morning.
"If you want to," Alice smiled, "I'm sure he won't mind."
"That means we stay here, doesn't it?" Alex wondered."I mean, yes it's great mum. I like Uncle Matthew, we both do, he's been kind and does things my friends' dads do with them with us. I remember our real father, but we didn't see much of him and he didn't play cricket or footie, Uncle Matthew does, and ... and ... I feel safe with him, I think he will keep us safe; I think I'd like to call him 'dad' if it's ok with him."
"I'm so glad you approve," she teased, "I did say 'yes' last night but that I would have to talk to you two about it. We have to arrange a wedding, so it's not going to be tomorrow, but as soon as we can set a date you'll be the first to know."
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Lucien was delighted when they told him the good news and though Jean added her congratulations Alice noticed she was quieter about it – she thought she might have a word.
It was some time before Alice could broach the subject of Jean's surprising reticence on the idea of her and Matthew marrying, but she knew she wasn't jealous it was something more, something deeper. She thought that was what love did to one, it made you see when people you were close to were worried, unhappy or had something else on their minds.
The court case was to be held in Melbourne and as Alice was the aggrieved party and Matthew's home had nearly been invaded they were both required to attend. It wasn't a long journey but in order to be sure of being there when required they decided to stay overnight and asked Jean if she could have the children for a couple of days or come to Melbourne with them and entertain Alex and Stella while they were in court.
She shook her head of the thoughts invading her psyche and suggested they stay with her and Dr Blake so she could see they attended school and were properly fed.
"Are you sure?" Alice frowned.
"They are no trouble, Alice, we'll be delighted to look after them," Jean smiled.
"It's very kind of you and I will feel happier knowing they are well taken care of."
"Our children are very important to us, Alice," she straightened her shoulders, "and maybe Melbourne holds too many memories for you to worry about how they are, though I know you will."
"Thank you."
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Flinders Street station was bustling when they arrived. Matthew hailed a taxi and they headed to the hotel where they would stay hopefully for three nights only. This first night was just so they would be fresh and ready for all that court threw at them, then two more nights they prayed would be enough to see Roberto and the other inept kidnappers convicted and sent to spend some time at Her Majesty's pleasure.
They had booked separate rooms on the same floor and set to unpacking and checking they had everything they needed. Alice set out a smart skirt and blouse with matching jacket in navy blue for the following day and waited for Matthew to call for her to take her down to dinner, as he had said he would. She had changed out of the clothes she had travelled in, a plain, pale grey dress and coat and decided on a smarter ice-blue dress that was fitted to her waist and had a flared skirt, with a narrow belt that emphasised her slim figure and short sleeves and a V neck that was bound by a narrow collar.
"You look particularly lovely this evening, Dr Harvey," Matthew offered her his arm and gave her a cheeky grin.
"Superintendant," she nodded and took his arm, "you are very kind."
"That colour suits you," he smiled as he guided her down to the dining room.
She gave him a look of surprise that he would understand such things then her expression softened and she smiled.
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They were seated at a corner table, discreet, which suited Alice just fine, she didn't like being stared at or the centre of attention. They discussed the up-coming case and what she could expect as a victim and a witness.
"They're going to bring up my history, aren't they?" she pouted.
"It's what the whole case is all about," he agreed and reached for her hand, "don't worry, nobody is going to blame you for what other people did to you, and you aren't the first woman to be left to bring up children alone, Jean was, after Christopher was killed in the Solomons."
"I know, I just don't think it's anyone else's business."
"I bet the women of Ballarat think it is theirs," he hummed, "they always seem to. Jean gets a bit fed up of them insinuating she is sleeping with Lucien when nothing could be further from the truth; anyway they have two lodgers in the house, how are they going to get up to shenanigans in that situation?"
"Oh really," she huffed, "I bet some of them have no room to talk. Again, what business is it of theirs, as long as they don't advertise it ..."
He raised his eyebrows at this apparent condoning of sex outside of marriage, not that he would be averse to a little hanky-panky with his fiancée, it wasn't as if he had kept himself pure for the day he would find that certain someone.
"I'm not suggesting they flirt openly, or hold hands and kiss in public, but why shouldn't they find love, eh? Jean has been a widow for how many years?"
"About sixteen," Matthew did a quick bit of maths in his head.
"... and Lucien, he lost his wife and his child seventeen years ago?"
Matthew nodded.
"A long time to be without someone to hold when you are passionate people, and they are, what happens behind closed doors, Matthew ..." she gave him a knowing look.
"I suppose you are right, it is nothing to do with anyone but themselves." He allowed the waiter to take his empty plate, "dessert?" he asked Alice, "or coffee? Or both?"
"What's on offer?" she smiled at the waiter.
Matthew blushed, his idea of dessert was probably miles away from hers. Alice rolled her eyes and accepted the dessert menu from the waiter, settling on passionfruit flummery.
"I haven't seen that in years," she sighed, "the children usually have fruit, as I'm sure you've noticed."
"I have noticed little Star is partial to strawberries," he nodded, settling for coffee, he didn't have much of a sweet tooth.
"We used to grow our own, not that I'm much of a gardener ..."
"I can do that, if you want." He smiled, this was something they needed to talk about, the house and garden and anything that needed to be changed. "A small veggie garden, the kids could help, if they want to ... mum used to grow tomatoes, lettuce and herbs, and there is an apple tree. While we're in Melbourne we should go and see mum and Vera, introduce you."
"Oh, er ... I suppose so, I mean she is your mother ... hmm," she frowned a little.
"It's ok, mum is not going to bite you, I think you'll get on well. She practically raised me and Vera alone, dad was a drunk and a gambler, she'll understand what you've been through; she worked while we were at school in order to keep the house and as soon as me and Vera were earning we chipped in too."
"You've told them about me, haven't you?" she took a spoonful of the flummery.
"Of course, enough, but not all. Just that we have met after all these years, that you have two adorable kids ..."
"... adorable?"
"... adorable," he nodded, "that you have been through some tough times, you are widowed and that you mean a lot to me."
"Oh, well, I suppose you tell them about the cases, and I was a case ..."
"You know I write weekly," he sipped his coffee, "of course I tell her about the cases, and about Jean and Lucien because she knows them and she is Ballarat born. If I didn't she'd be over faster than you can say Jack Robinson to find out why."
"It must be nice to have a mother that cares," she hummed.
"It is, though when I was younger I did find it a bit suffocating."
"Oh, well, I imagine she wanted to make sure you were happy."
"Yeah," he agreed, "you'll be as bad when your two are heading off with their friends around town."
"I'm taking it a day at a time, I know what not to do, but there's a lot I don't know how to do."
"You are doing great," he laughed, "stop doubting yourself."
She shrugged, she would always doubt her usefulness as a mother but she did love her children.
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They stood outside her room holding hands, Matthew stroked her knuckles with his thumb and sighed. Tomorrow they would be in court and would need to get a good night's sleep in order to make it through.
"Goodnight, Alice, love," he leant in and kissed her softly, "get some sleep, you'll need it."
"Sleep well, Matthew," she returned the kiss and turned into her room, maybe they would get the chance to spend some personal time at the end of the case, just some quiet time together.
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The following days consisted of breakfast, court, a short lunch break, court, dinner and sleep. The three men who assaulted Alice and tried to take the children were all convicted after trying to argue that Alice was not the right person to raise the children because she was not Italian. Alice's lawyer asked what her nationality had to do with it, she was the children's mother, they were well fed, clean and attended school regularly and no one in authority had any worries about them. They argued that Alessandro, as they persisted on calling her son, had scrapes and bruises on his knees and a scrape on his nose at the time of the incident. Alice, when questioned on this told them how Alex had fallen, tripping over untied shoe-laces, her story was backed up by Superintendant Matthew Lawson who had seen the whole thing. He was questioned on Alice's reaction and he told how she had cleaned and dressed the wounds, again he had witnessed everything.
"You are a friend of Signora Benedetti?"
"Dr Harvey and I work together on some cases, she is a pathologist and assists the police surgeon – we are colleagues," was all he would confirm on their relationship, anything else had nothing to do with the case.
"Yet after this you took her in?"
"A safe place until we were sure there was no one else trying to take her children from her. As it transpires I was right."
"Ah, Roberto Benedetti, yes?"
"Caught red handed," Matthew nodded.
"He claims he was checking security for his niece and nephew."
Matthew rolled his eyes, "At six o'clock in the morning, without the permission of the home owner, myself, without direction from the police, again myself – I doubt that. Safety checks like that are on the locks of doors and windows, not on the state of the putty holding the window panes in."
"So anyone could remove a pane of glass?"
"Unlikely, certainly not from my house, but they would be looked over when the locks were changed. Anyway," he added, "what devoted uncle scares the living daylights out of his five year old niece by trying to get in through her bedroom window, eh? Stella was terrified."
Even Roberto's lawyer had to admit it was not a sensible or caring thing to do.
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"So, all we have to do is wait for the jury to reach a verdict," Alice sighed outside the courthouse.
"Come on, let's go for a walk, we both need a break from this place." Matthew turned to a court official, "we'll be in the Botanic Gardens if they come back before the end of the session."
"Sir," the official nodded, "we'll send a runner."
"Thanks." Matthew offered Alice his arm and they headed in the direction of the gardens and some peace and quiet.
"Do you think they'll be back today?" Alice asked as they gazed over the lake.
"Doubt it, they didn't go out 'til four. For me it's open and shut, but some of the jurors are Italian and may argue that they kids should be raised with other Italians." He shook his head.
"What if they do find them not guilty?" her eyes filled with tears.
"We'll fight them tooth and nail," he squeezed her hand. "Come on, let's go get dinner before they close the dining room."
She wasn't really hungry but supposed he was right, they would know soon enough and she would need her strength if there were to be battles to come.
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She didn't eat much, the waiting was playing on her mind and the thought that if it all went the wrong way she would have to fight for her children.
Matthew had ordered a bottle of wine with their dinner but there was still half of it left when they finished eating, he asked to take it upstairs while they talked and they left the dining room with it and their glasses.
They stood awkwardly outside her room, where he usually bade her goodnight.
"We can't stand here drinking," she sighed, "best come in, there's a small couch we can sit on."
Matthew had wondered if he should suggest they drink in his room, either way she was right, they couldn't stand on the landing in full view of any other residents heading to their beds. They would be stared at and gossiped about, Alice's worst fear, he nodded and held her glass while she unlocked the door.
He noticed it was tidy, the maid had obviously been in, but it was the neat way her cosmetics were laid out on the dresser and a spare pair of shoes were set by the wardrobe perfectly aligned. He remembered he had kicked his police uniform shoes off and they were probably lying in the middle of the floor. She took off the shoes she was wearing and set them next to the others, again aligning them perfectly, then sat on the couch and curled her feet up under her bottom, as she did at home.
"Sit down, Matthew," she patted the seat next to her, "and pass me my drink."
"Ma'am," he teased and did as he was bid, she relaxed visibly. This was how they usually sat at home, together on his couch, a little kissing a cuddling, some petting but nothing more still worried the children would wake and wander in to find her for soothing words. "Better?"
"Yes," she nodded, "I think the other residents have begun to wonder about our relationship."
"None of their damn business," he huffed, and opened his arms to her; she put her glass down next to his on the small side table and snuggled into his side.
"Exactly," she hummed.
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Being made love to by Matthew Lawson was a whole new experience for Alice. They had taken it slowly on the couch, kissing, cuddling, touching and when he opened her blouse she didn't take fright, she had no need to, the door was closed and the children were miles away in Ballarat. By the time she was down to her slip and he down to his shorts they were on the bed. Matthew skilfully reached up her back and unclipped her bra, pulling it out through the straps of her slip, her pert nipples peaked the silk and his tented shorts pushed against her thigh. His hands were all over her, undoing her stockings and suspenders and rolling them down her shapely legs, he kissed her inner thighs, her knees, dragged his fingers up the back of her legs and between them, feeling her arousal on her knickers. She wriggled and gasped, her slip rose up over her stomach exposing creamy skin over a flat belly that showed no signs of two pregnancies. He pushed the slip further up and she raised her arms so he could slip it over her head.
"God you're beautiful," he swallowed and kissed each breast, sucked one nipple and palmed the other as she dug her fingers into his shoulders and groaned. She bucked under him, "Matthew," she urged, trying to reach his shorts but he was too far down her body, pushing her knickers off and slipping his fingers over her folds – slick and hot. She bucked against his hand, "please."
He grinned and moved up to cover her mouth with his and at last she could reach his shorts and lift them over his erection. She wrapped her small hand round his length and stroked the tip with his thumb, making him gasp and gulp. He pushed her onto her back and lined himself up with her entrance; it was so good to have a man who knew what he was doing, who would take charge and as he filled her she arched, her pupils were blown, and she begged him for more and more he gave her. He touched her where Carlo had never touched her, she didn't need to help herself along to her own completion; before she knew it she was among the stars, floating through the universe of her climax not hearing the gasps and pants she made or the roar as Matthew flooded her with his seed. She came back down, breathing as if she had run the length of Sturt Street and Matthew rolled to her side as he slipped out of her.
"Ok, love?" he murmured. She just nodded into his side, smiling so hard her cheeks ached – this, this that he had given her this night and the support over the past months, was what it meant to be truly loved- he had given her his all and more and she couldn't wait to be married to him.
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"Mornin' Sleepin' Beauty," Matthew kissed her cheek, "I'm going to get showered and dressed." He hadn't wanted to wake her, she looked so peaceful with her hair all mussed up and falling over her face.
"Nngh," she grunted and opened one eye, "oh," she swallowed, "is it morning already?"
"Sleep well?"
She pushed the hair off her face and nodded, "better than I have for ages."
"Happy to oblige," he grinned, "please let me know if you are having trouble sleeping again, I'm sure I can help."
She coloured and sat up, holding the sheet over her naked breasts with one hand and reaching out to him with the other.
He sat on the edge of the bed and held her close, kissing the top of her head. "Everything's going to be alright," he soothed, "you'll see."
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They were just finishing breakfast when the waiter handed Matthew a note.
"Ah," he hummed, "the jury reached their verdict late last night, court starts in an hour."
"Early?" she put her tea cup down.
"Get it out of the way so they can get another case underway, I guess."
"Well," she pushed her chair backwards with a resigned sigh, "best get it over with."
Matthew sighed, he was sure she had nothing to worry about, yet she seemed to think that she was about to lose the children and Roberto and his friends would be free to continue to harass her
"Everything is going to be fine," he offered her his arm as was his custom, "they'll be found guilty and we can go back to the children."
"How can you be so sure?" she frowned at him.
"Because even the defending counsel agreed that what he did was not the kind of thing a caring uncle did to his five year old niece." He shrugged, "so, come on, I have plans for the day that don't include fighting Roberto Benedetti for custody of your children."
"Plans?"
"Well yeah," he smirked, "y'didn't think we were just going to go home, did you?"
"I don't know, I hadn't thought that far ahead." She gasped.
He just shook his head and smiled.
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Ushers scurried hither and thither in the courthouse, lawyers rushed passed armed with files and bundles of papers and the jurors were escorted in to the court.
"This way, Dr Harvey, Superintendant Lawson," an usher appeared at their side, "the judge will be in shortly, you should take your seats."
Matthew let Alice precede him then took her hand and they walked together to the benches behind her lawyer. He turned and nodded and gave a little smile.
Roberto and the other men were brought in and stood facing the Judge's bench, then the Judge came in and proceedings started.
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"Say it again, Matthew," she whispered as they stood on the court steps.
"They were all found guilty and the judge will pass sentence in the next couple of days," he held her hands and stood facing her, "I told you you had nothing to worry about, I know old Judge Harding, he can't abide people who hurt or try to hurt children. They'll get a tough sentence."
"You were right," she hummed.
"Course I was, did you ever doubt me?"
"Not you, no," she shook her head, "just the law."
"Ah," he smiled to himself and hailed a taxi.
"Where're we going?" she asked.
"Told you I had plans which include ringing Jean to give her to good news and when to expect us back, but first," he leant forward and instructed the drive to take them to Collins Street.
"Matthew?" she frowned, "what are you up to?"
"Something I should have done weeks ago- getting you an engagement ring."
"Oh," she hummed, "Oh, but you don't have to."
"I want to," he stated quite simply and she knew she wasn't going to be able to turn him away from this. It must have been one of the mysterious plans he had for the day.
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It was a simple solitaire diamond they finally settled on. Matthew had looked at diamond and sapphire clusters, emeralds, rubies but they all seemed to embarrass Alice. At one point he wondered what ring Carlo had given her, but when he finally found one that satisfied her he agreed it was perfectly her – simple and elegant.
"Now, time to meet my mother and sister," he grinned, hailing another taxi, "don't worry they won't eat you," he added at the horrified look on her face. "It's either now, or wait for them to descend on us one day."
She supposed this was the lesser of the two evils, but memories of meeting Papa Benedetti entered her mind. It had to be easier than that.
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"You really should trust me, Alice," Matthew laughed as they got back into the taxi.
"I haven't been able to trust someone, a man, for some time, Matthew, but you were right, your mother is lovely and Vera is so kind."
"She will protect you like she has protected me and Vera all our lives. People were cruel when dad got drunk and either beat mum or spent a night in the cells, as if it was her fault, so when they were cruel she defended us, and we did our best to do the same to her. When he finally staggered off to some house of ill repute mum filed for divorce – she had had enough. He died before the papers could be served, hit over the head by a tart who didn't appreciate his advances. She said, in her statement, that he pushed her around, hit her and was going to force her to do some act she didn't think he had paid for. We, me and Vera, were targeted at school so mum went in and sorted out the other mothers who visited ..."
"... the sins of the fathers on the children," Alice finished for him. "I get it, I think; it's just that both my parents were rotten and, well you know the rest."
"Yeah, well you've brought her instant grandchildren, she's only got Rose, Vera's lass, she'll spoil them rotten."
From a visit Alice had all but dreaded she had found a whole new family to support her, she was so glad she had gone to Ballarat to work.
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"All went well, Jean," Alice sat in her room and talked to Jean over the phone. "They were all found guilty of attempted kidnap, assault and general unpleasantness. We shall be home tomorrow. How are the children?"
Jean said they were fine and had been as good as gold. She passed the phone to Alex so he could have a quick word with his mother, and then Stella could wish her goodnight.
"So, we won't see them again, mum?" Alex asked; she could almost see his wide eyes.
"No, sweetheart, we are safe. I've met Uncle Matthew's family today, his mother and sister, I think you'll like them. Uncle Matthew says his mother will spoil you rotten."
"Does that make her our grandmother?"
"I suppose so, your step-grandmother, I think, but when you meet her you can sort that out with her, I'm not getting between her and her new family, she's very protective." She smiled.
They talked for a little longer then she spoke to Stella and told her to be good for Aunty Jean and she would see her tomorrow. "Me and Uncle Matthew are going to try to be home to pick you up from school."
"Yay!" Stella jumped up and down in the kitchen.
Jean took the phone off Stella and spoke a little more to Alice who voiced her concerns about her, asking her if she was alright because she had seemed a little quiet when she dropped off the children.
"Is there something I can do, Jean?" she asked, "I did wonder if I should be landing you with Alex and Stella."
"I was happy to help, Alice, I told you that when we first met. We'll talk when you get back and I'm glad you were able to ask me to have them." Jean smiled down the phone, she would find a moment to ask the favour of Alice she needed.
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"Something's bothering Jean," Alice put the phone down and looked up as Matthew entered her room.
"Really?" he sat down next to her.
"Hm," she nodded, "there's a thoughtfulness to her that isn't what I'd usually expect from her. Not her thoughtfulness for others, thinking about something that affects her ... am I making sense?"
"I think so, you think something has happened and she is unsure of how to tell her friends, those of us around her?"
"Yes, but it's something that I think she's almost afraid of."
"Blake?"
"No, no I don't think so, it was before we left, when we told them we were getting married. At first I thought maybe she was jealous, but then I thought about it and she isn't the type to get jealous ... not over something like that, well maybe she would but I don't think it's that."
"My money's on Blake, then," he huffed, "probably done something stupid."
"I think I'll go and see if she needs someone to talk to, that's what friends do, isn't it?"
"It's exactly what friends do, love, but don't push her, she'll close up."
"Like I do?"
"Not as much these days," he grinned. "Dinner?"
"Hm? Oh yes, please. Though I'm not too hungry, your mum's cooking is lovely."
"Nobody, not even Jean Beazley makes a damper topped chicken stew like my mum."
"In that case, I shan't even try," she laughed.
"Not going into competition with the future mother in law?" he stood and held out his hand for her.
She shook her head and let him lead her down to the dining room.
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Matthew made love to her again that night, after a light dinner and a gentle stroll in the gardens. Alice felt she would not be able to sleep in his bed once they were back in Ballarat, at least not until they were married, and she voiced this to him.
"Best see the Registrar, then," he pulled her close, "or we could take the same afternoons off," he raised an eyebrow and smirked.
She batted against his bare chest then stroked her fingers down, and down until he grabbed her hand just below his belly button.
"Don't start something you can't finish," he mumbled.
"A lady always finishes what she starts," she breathed and slid her hand down under the covers, "but who says I'm a lady," and she disappeared from view.
"Alice, jeez!" he gasped and swore as he felt her tongue swirl the tip of his erection.
Under the covers she felt herself blush; this wasn't something she was overly fond of but she knew some men enjoyed it and she wanted to please him. She wriggled back up his hips and poked her head out with a cheeky grin as best she could muster.
"Sorry, did I do wrong?" she frowned.
"No, I just didn't expect it," he pulled her further up so he could look her directly in the eye.
"I just wanted to please you, some men ..."
"You do not have do to anything you don't like with me, love," he stroked her cheek, "I love you, I love being with you, and I love making love to you – you please me, if that's what you want to do - just the way you are."
She pulled herself a little further up and kissed him and gave herself up to his ministrations, lifting herself up and guiding him inside her, settling down and wriggling then as he pushed up she ground down setting up a rhythm that increased until she arched in an earth shattering climax that left her breathless and pink with exertion.
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They awoke in the early morning light, limbs and sheets tangled, Alice's hair falling over her face that was buried in the pillow.
"Hey, he shrugged his shoulder, the one that was partially under his lover, "time to get up, if we're to catch breakfast before the train."
She pushed her hair off her face and blinked at him, it seemed minutes since she had fallen asleep yet according to the clock it was at least six hours.
Matthew slipped out of bed and retrieved enough clothing to cover him as he sneaked back to his room to shower and dress. As he passed her side of the bed he leant over and kissed the bare shoulder, "See you shortly."
She grunted and sighed and waited until she heard the door close, then lifted her head up and flopped down again. The bed was a mess, surely the maid would know exactly what had been going on here, she would have more than showering and dressing to do, she would have to tidy the bed and make sure she didn't leave a stray stocking or pair of knickers lying about – Matthew would insist on flinging articles of her clothing away when he undressed her. She looked round and saw her bra draped over the bedside light.
"Got everything?" Matthew poked his head into the room.
"I can't find the partner to this stocking," she held yesterday's stocking up, "where they heck did you fling it?" She pouted and he laughed, pointing to the corner behind an armchair. "Honestly, Matthew," she huffed and waited for him to bring it back to her, "I am going to lose more clothes than I have at this rate."
"That's ok," he smirked, "I like you as God made you."
"Yeah, but think of what the busy bodies of Ballarat will say if I end up wandering naked to work, and imagine Lucien's face ..." she tucked the garment into the suitcase and closed it sharply.
"Come on gorgeous," he offered her his arm, "breakfast."
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"Mummy!" Stella squealed and ran through the playground to her mother, "Uncle Matthew!" She flung herself into Alice's arms and was swung round and kissed before reaching over to Matthew who had Alex wrapping his arms round him. They swapped and hugged the other child, laughing.
"Hello, darlings," Alice hugged Alex tight, "how are you?"
"Missed you, mum," Alex mumbled.
"Well, it's all over now," she stroked his head, "we're back and we're not going anywhere."
"So those men ...?" Alex fell into step beside his mother as they headed to the car.
"... have been sent to prison for what they did," Matthew confirmed, "and when they are released they are not allowed to set foot in Ballarat."
"Good," Alex smiled, "I mean I'm glad they won't bother us anymore."
"They won't," Matthew unlocked the car and they climbed in.
"Let's get your things from Dr Blake," Alice sat in the passenger seat, "and I should see about getting my car back."
"What about our house, mum?"
"We only rented, Alex," she sighed, "I shall have to speak to the landlord and make arrangements to get the rest of our things back."
"Oh, so we're moving?"
"No, lad," Matthew laughed, "your home is with me, now, especially as me and your mum are getting married."
"Oh, yeah," he shrugged, "there is that, silly me."
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Jean insisted they dine with her and Lucien, after all, she said, "you've been away for nearly a week, so chances are there's nothing in the cupboard."
Matthew shrugged, she was right, and it was no less than he expected.
"You could corner her after dinner," he whispered to Alice, "see if she'll open up to you."
"I'll try, perhaps you could take the kids into the garden with Lucien," she hissed back.
"We could wash up," he nodded.
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Alice watched Jean like a hawk during dinner; she ate well, drank only water and listened more than she talked. She also noticed Lucien looking over at his housekeeper with something akin to concern, so he had worries too.
"C'mon, kids," Matthew pushed his chair away from the table, full of roast chook, vegetables and peach cobbler, "washing up for us, eh?"
Stella jumped down from her chair and took her dish to the sink, "I'll dry!"
"I'll help," Alex took his and Alice's dish up.
Alice raised an eyebrow at Lucien and he seemed to get the message after a second or two and decided that he ought to light the fire in the newly opened studio.
"Studio?" Matthew raised his eyebrows, "your mother's room?"
"Yeah, well," he replied sheepishly, "Stella asked where the doors went to and, well ... I've been meaning to see how it is after all this time."
"It's lovely, Uncle Matthew," Stella smiled, "lots of lovely pictures and you can see right into the garden from the window and, guess what?"
"What little Star?"
"The ceilings golden, real gold," her eyes widened.
"Ah, yes I remember Mrs Blake floating little bits of gold leaf up to the ceiling," he hummed. "Well done, Blake, about time."
"Yeah, well the past is just that, the past; time to move forward." Lucien cleared his throat and turned away, Matthew knew his mother well and would know how difficult it had been for him to do this.
"Well, Jean," Alice stood up, "seems we're surplus to requirements, come and tell me how my children behaved."
"Oh, they were fine," Jean stood up and sighed, "no trouble at all."
"Hm," Alice preceded her to the living room but surprised her when she continued through to the study.
"Alice, is there something wrong?" Jean followed her and closed the study door behind her.
"That's what I was going to ask you," Alice sat down and indicated she sit with her. "You look ... troubled, lost even, I wondered if it was too much for you, or if Lucien had done something particularly idiotic."
"No, no he hasn't," she stood up and went to stare out of the window. "I, well, I suppose we have both done something idiotic. Oh Alice ..." she turned and Alice saw there were tears streaming down her cheeks. "Alice," she sniffed, "would you do a blood test for me, I don't know who else to ask. I can't ask Dr King and certainly not Lucien."
Alice stood up and guided her back to her seat, "what am I looking for?" she asked softly.
"I've, er, missed two cycles ..."
"Jean? Who ... I didn't know you were seeing anyone." Alice frowned.
"I'm not ..." she sighed and twisted a handkerchief in her fingers. "When Jack left, you know after the Dennison case," Alice nodded, "well, I was upset ..."
"...understandable ..."
"... Lucien held me, in the sunroom, we nearly kissed ..."
"What stopped you? Mattie? Charlie?"
"The phone ..." Jean huffed, still a little annoyed at the interruption."When Roberto came to find out where you were he held a knife to my throat ..."
"Oh Jean, no!" Alice gasped.
"Lucien was as kind as he had been over Jack, at first, maybe we shouldn't have kissed, maybe we should have just gone back to bed knowing each of us was safe, but we didn't and well ... one thing led to another, and I wasn't unwilling, I suppose I just needed to know I was still alive ... nobody else was here, nobody would know ... but now ... Alice what do I do?"
"First I do the blood test," Alice smiled and got up, "I take it there are syringes in the surgery?"
"Of course, now?"
"Strike while the iron's hot, Lucien's busy ..." She was back before Jean had time to process what she was doing.
"It will take about a week, I'll let you know as soon as I get the result, then we can talk about what you do."
"I can't do anything about it," she hissed, "I couldn't. I couldn't when it happened with Christopher – I had to get married – and anyway, who's going to risk their medical license for the other option? I just couldn't."
"Hm, I wasn't really thinking of that option, more how to tell Lucien and how to navigate the gossip ..."
"The local ladies think we're sleeping together anyway," Jean bit her lip, "this would just confirm it."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I need to get this to the lab, I won't put your name on it, maybe a code that only I know, eh?" Alice squeezed her shoulder.
"Thank you, Alice."
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Alice sighed as she noted the result of Jean's blood test a week later. She also thought she and Matthew had taken a chance in Melbourne, several in fact, and once that week when they were both at home for a day, but that morning she had known she was safe from more gossip.
She took her lunch break and knowing Lucien was in the morgue, headed up to Mycroft Avenue to talk to her friend.
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"Alice!" Jean's face fell, Alice would only call for one reason this time, and it wasn't to ask her to babysit.
"Shall we have some tea?" Alice touched her hand gently.
Jean crumbled.
Alice wrapped her arms round her and guided her to the living room, settling her on the couch while she put the kettle on.
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"What am I going to do?" Jean sobbed.
"Tell him," Alice answered simply, "you have to."
"He'll be horrified."
"Lucien? No, no way!" Alice shook her head, "he'll be as shocked as you but he will do what is right."
"Marry me?" Jean shook her head, "this is no basis for a good marriage."
"Your marriage to Christopher?"
"Was fine, the baby ... I lost her at five months, my penance for going outside the tenets of the church, we worked the land, had two boys fought, made up, he went away after we had a huge row about heaven knows what, but he thought he wasn't man enough for me so he joined up and I never saw him again."
"Did you love him?"
Did you love your husband?"
"Carlo? I don't think so. He was kind, thoughtful when we courted then when he put a ring on my finger I was his wife and we had two children that was it, really. He spent a lot of time at his club with the person he really loved, but he never hurt me physically and I would never have left him on a whim. I think we could have come to an arrangement, but his father shot him and that was that. So, did you love Christopher?"
"It wasn't an earth-shattering love, he didn't light up my life or make my heart skip a beat after the baby, but we were happy, I suppose, as much as I thought I deserved to be," she stared into her teacup. "I was shunned, stared at and talked about ... I've been watching my back ever since."
"Do you love Lucien?"
"Do you love Matthew?"
"With all my heart," Alice smiled, "he is not perfect, but he is so good to me, he has taken my children to his heart and I know I am loved."
"Lucien is so very different to Christopher, he has ... fire, he has fire. He's rash, impetuous, annoying, strong and deeply loyal ... I feel something, a pull, sometimes even sick with anticipation of what he might do but I know he would never hurt me ... but this, Alice," she stood up and paced the room, "this is more than he – than we – can weather."
"He's worried about you," Alice watched her, "I noticed when we were here last week, how he watched you, how his concern for your quietness showed, even Matthew saw. You must tell him," she stood and took Jean's hands in hers, "you must. He won't throw you out, if that's what you're worried about, he will support you and I think he loves you – I can't imagine he would take you to bed if he didn't."
"We were in shock, scared ..."
"And he thought he was about to lose you ..."
"I didn't want to die and I needed to know I was alive – seems I am very much so, for now."
"Jean, Alice?" Lucien arrived home, closing the door and wandering down to the living room without either of them hearing his footsteps.
"Lucien!" Jean jumped and tried to leave the room, but she hadn't bargained on Alice's arms around her.
"Tell him," she whispered.
"I can't," Jean sniffed.
"Tell me what?" Lucien raised an eyebrow, "Jean?"
Jean looked up at him and burst into tears, again.
"Hey," he went to her and wrapped his arms round her, "what's the matter, surely it can't be that bad, can it?"
She looked up at him and nodded, "Oh, Lucien, it's worse," she hiccupped, "that night, you know when Roberto ... oh Lucien, we shouldn't have ... I'm ... I'm pregnant."
He sighed heavily and kissed the top of her head. "When were you going to admit it to me?" he whispered.
"I don't know," she sniffed, "I didn't know how to, this just confirms what the local gossips think. Hey ..." she looked up at him, "what do you mean 'admit it'?"
"I'm a doctor, Jean, and there is a certain way to detect early pregnancy – slippery pulse. When I held your hand to help you down from the step I noticed it – my finger was over your pulse. I had to wait for you to say something, but even when I asked you how you were you just said you were fine and why did I want to know."
"I wish you'd said," she sighed and accepted his handkerchief to blow her nose.
"And where would that have got me?" he raised his eyebrows, "you'd have tossed your head and snapped that it was no business of mine – but it is, isn't it? Now that we know that I know, we should talk, eh?"
Alice picked up her handbag and said she would leave them to it, but to remember she and Matthew were getting married the following week.
Lucien picked up the suggestion that it could be turned into a double wedding and a seven month baby wasn't unheard of.
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"It doesn't matter what we do," she sighed as they sat on the couch, "people will still know I fell wrong – again."
"Again?" he looked at her with a slight frown.
"I made the same mistake with Christopher, I lost that one, what if I lose this one, is that God's punishment for me straying – again?"
"I didn't know," Lucien hummed, "I thought ... I mean you're a good Catholic ..."
She shook her head, "no I'm not, I think the wrong things, I still do things a good Catholic isn't supposed to do though I haven't slept with any man since Christopher left – until that night."
"Will you marry me, Jean?" After her confession it was a relatively simple question, but he didn't want her to think it was just because he had got her in the family way. His feelings for his housekeeper had been deeper than they should be for a woman he employed for some time. He relied on her, he trusted her, he regarded her as a friend and since the night Roberto had interrupted their sleep he had felt even more for her. It was more than love, he thought, deeper than 'love' as younger people may think of it. He didn't think he had a word for it, but he knew he wanted her there, with him, always.
"Are you asking me because of this?" she waved her hand over her still flat stomach.
"Yes ... and no. I'm asking you because I want you here, I want you to stay with me, and because I have feelings for you I thought I'd never have for a woman again. I love you in a different way to the way I loved Mei Lin, you don't need me – you are independent and strong, capable and resourceful, I admire you, and though I may do things that irk you I don't do it on purpose to upset you."
"I know you don't, you're impetuous the way you go off and meddle in Matthew's cases, but you do it with the best intentions and you're kind, you defend anyone who deserves it, and sometimes those who don't – but I'm your housekeeper, Lucien, housekeepers don't marry their employers."
"Why not? Why shouldn't you marry me, if that's the only reason not to? It's society, or the local busy bodies that say you shouldn't but they're only jealous – who knows where we will find our mate, our love, eh? Passing on the street, at school, in the butchers ... we can find our love anywhere, I just happen to find mine in my own home, our home. So?"
"Alright," she nodded, "yes, I will marry you, after all secretaries have married bosses before, haven't they? Why shouldn't I marry you, as you say, who knows where we might find love?"
"I'll do my best to protect you from the sniping, the gossips." He kissed her softly, "now, I think Alice was hinting at a double wedding ..."
"If it can be," she sighed, "I mean can we arrange it so quickly?"
"I'll go and see the registrar, shall I? And what do you need to do?"
"While I can still get away with it, I should like a half decent dress this time, last time I was too far gone and wore my Sunday dress."
"Guests?"
"Oh dear," she sighed, "with so little time ... Christopher and Ruby, I suppose, maybe Agnes, Charlie and Mattie of course ... most of our friends are Alice and Matthew's friends."
"Let's have them over for dinner to discuss it, they are the only ones that need to know we are hijacking their wedding, though Alice did kind of suggest it. But first," he stood up "I'd best go check with the registrar and make sure it is ok."
"I'll go and get what I need for a dress." Jean knew there would be battles to be waged with the gossips of the town, some of Lucien's patients who had their eyes on him for their daughters or single sisters but she knew their close friends would support them. She didn't know what her sons would say, Jack would be angry, but then he thought she was sleeping with Lucien during the Dennison case, anyway; Christopher, well he was a bit of a dark horse he might suspect the truth and Ruby would just turn up her nose.
"This is the right thing, Jean, to protect you and for us, I'm sure."
"Yes," she hummed, then, "Yes it is the right thing, Lucien, we all feel love differently and the way I feel about you – I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."
"That's my girl," he kissed her forehead.
"I am – your girl, I mean," she giggled and thought she was being rather juvenile but sixteen years is a long time to be as alone as she had been. "There will be bumps along the road ..."
"Aren't there in all marriages?"
"... maybe a pothole now and again, but yes, there are in all marriages; in my parents, in mine and Christopher's ..."
"... and mine and Mei Lin's," he smiled and hugged her. "Well best get down to the registry office, then."
She watched him go and wondered what kind of wedding dress she could make herself in under a week.
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"D'ye think he got the hint?" Matthew sat back in his chair and folded his arms. Alice had gone straight to him after leaving Jean and Lucien working out what they should do. She told him exactly what was going on, why Jean was so quiet, distant recently.
"I hope so," she sighed, "it's probably the only thing they can do, other than Jean leaving Ballarat to avoid the scandal."
"It would follow her," Matthew hummed, "the talk about why she had suddenly left the town she has lived in all her life after living in the same house as an eligible bachelor."
"Well, I hope you don't mind sharing our day, if that's what they do?"
"Well, I had asked Blake to be my best man ..."
"Maybe you could be his," Alice smiled. "The gossips will still say she had to get married, and when she gives birth ..."
"An early one," he hummed, "and we could have found ourselves in the same position, we were lucky."
"It's not something we've discussed, is it?" she sighed, "children, a child who is your child ..." she frowned.
"Do you want to have more children?"
"Pregnancy was no problem for me, both times, so if it happens I will be fine and I'm not keen on using a diaphragm anyway."
"I could get some protection," he shrugged, a strange conversation to be having a week from his wedding and in his office with his fiancée.
"Let's get married first, if it looks like I am going to repopulate a small town ..."
"You're the one who will be doing the hard work," he smiled, "come here," he pushed away from the desk and patted his knees, "give us a kiss, love."
"You're insatiable," she laughed as she sat on his knee and put her arms round his neck.
"I don't hear you complaining."
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While the dress Jean was making for herself was simple in design, ivory satin full skirt and fitted jacket, the cut and sewing was quite complicated and would look as if she had spent weeks at her sewing machine. She hoped to give the idea that the wedding had been in the planning for months; it was Mattie's idea when they had told her and Charlie she was marrying Lucien and why.
"That way," she smiled one evening, "no one will know about you know what, everyone will think you kept it quiet because of the gossip."
"They'll know soon enough when I give birth," she sighed.
"How big were your boys?"
"Pardon?"
"Christopher and Jack, how heavy were they?"
"Christopher was just six pounds, Jack an ounce over, why?"
"Early births?"
"No, full term, Mattie?"
"Small, then; if this one is small then you could easily say it is an early birth," Mattie shrugged.
"Father Morton called today, wanted to know why I hadn't been to confession lately," Jean put down her needle and thread.
"Oh, what did you say?"
"Just that I was rather busy organising my wedding; he wasn't impressed that I hadn't asked him to officiate."
"Does he have a slot next week?" Mattie fingered the piece of fabric Jean had been sewing the hem of.
"I didn't ask, he said I would be living in sin and the church would probably excommunicate me," her bottom lip trembled.
"Jean, you love Lucien, yes?"
Jean nodded.
"And he loves you?"
"Yes."
"Then what the church says doesn't matter, it's not the church that matters, Jean, it's what's in here," she pointed to her chest over her heart, "Father Morton, the priests they are just men they don't know what God wants, not for certain."
Jean gave her a quizzical look, she didn't usually have theological discussions with the young nurse, in fact she didn't even know whether she was Catholic or Protestant.
"I went out with a boy once, he decided girls weren't for him, he had a higher calling, but we had lots of conversations about God – usually over a few drinks to be honest, and he said that although he doesn't know what God wants specifically for all of us he knew that he wanted us to be happy. Marrying Lucien will make you happy, won't it?"
"Of course it will," Jean frowned.
"Then, according to my friend, that is what god wants. He's an excellent priest, by the way." Mattie smiled, "What's Alice wearing?"
"A lovely pale grey dress and jacket. We both have full skirts but her jacket is shaped round from the front and longer at the back, but it is fitted too." She smiled, "I know it's an odd colour for a wedding dress, but like me, she's been married before and she says white is a bit of a step too far. I didn't have a proper wedding dress the first time so ..."
"You will look lovely, Jean, this is beautiful material and the design you have chosen is perfect."
"Nice nipped in waist," Jean raised an eyebrow and grinned cheekily.
"Exactly, should stop any rumours."
"They'll never stop, Mattie, even if I wasn't pregnant there would still be rumours." She frowned, "still, we'll get through it."
"You have us, Jean, me and Charlie, Matthew and Alice and Lucien," Mattie put her arm across her shoulders, "the others are just jealous."
"Thank you, Mattie, it helps knowing I have all of your support," Jean folded the sewing and went to take it to her room.