A/N: Hi, I'm back! I hope this is worth the wait. 3

Tohru unlocks the front door of the apartment she shares with her fiancé. She's tired—she feels the exhaustion of the day all the way down to her bones. Work had been hard, and Itsuki had gotten to leave early to go to some meeting, which made her day even more miserable. She doesn't like being apart from him, and she knows he feels the same. So, she'd even gone out of her way to the grocery store on her way home, figuring she'll make him his favorite for dinner.

The grocery bags in her hands sink down to the floor now, though, as she stares at two pairs of shoes in her genkan. One is Itsuki's work shoes, and the other is a pair of red women's heels...red women's heels that are definitely not hers. Ignoring the nagging sick feeling in her stomach, and the voice in her head telling her to run, Tohru kicks off her own shoes and walks back toward their bedroom.

Itsuki hadn't even bothered to close the door.

Tohru gasps and throws a hand over her mouth. On instinct, she turns around, as though to give him and the naked woman underneath him privacy—even though this is her own house and her own fiancé and her own heart that's breaking.

Everyone is quiet. The world jerks to a halt. After a moment, the bed squeaks slightly, and then Itsuki is behind Tohru. He puts a hand on her shoulder, squeezes tightly, and pulls until she's facing him. Then, instead of getting down on his knees, begging and pleading for another chance, Itsuki shakes his head. His smile isn't warm like it usually is—it's raw and bitter.

"How...how could you?" Tohru asks, voice trembling.

"Stupid bitch," Itsuki spits. "Don't you know this is all your fault?"

Before she can respond, before she can cry, or even process his words, light flashes around Tohru and she's in the bedroom of her current apartment. Asahi is on his back next to her. He sits up and runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavily.

"So, uh…" Tohru starts sheepishly. She sits up, too, pulling the sheet around herself. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah, sure." His tone is indifferent. He's already gathering his clothes off the floor. "It was okay."

"Will you call tomorrow?"

Asahi laughs. Tohru waits for an answer as he pulls his shirt over his head. When he's done, he turns to look at her over his shoulder. "Seriously?"

"Um...w-well…"

"You want me to call, after you fucked on the first date? Why would I want to see you again, unless I ever need a quick lay sometime? I don't deal with whores like you otherwise."

And then he's gone, and Tohru is suddenly outside. She's in Shigure's front yard, Kyo standing in front of her, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Oh.

This is going to be the worst part. She can tell already.

"I just love you!" she screams, fighting to be heard above the rain and the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

Kyo's quiet for a long time, and when he finally does speak, his voice is so soft that it's almost drowned out by the beating of the rain against the cobblestones.

"I'm disappointed in you."

She's never loved anyone as much as she loves Kyo, and nothing has ever hurt her as much as he does with those four words.

And then the ground crumbles beneath her feet.

Kyo wakes up because of movement next to him. Confused and still sleepy, he blinks against the dark to see what's going on. When he figures it out, his eyes fly the rest of the way open, and he quickly rises to a sitting position. Tohru's shaking and whimpering, even though she appears to still be asleep. Even though he knows it must just be a nightmare and she's okay physically, the sight of it breaks his heart. He takes a second to collect himself before reaching out to her. He strokes her cheek.

"Hey, Tohru," he says gently.

She doesn't wake up; she just chokes out a sob, the sound hollow and dry.

"Tohru!"

He shakes her shoulders, and after a second, she springs up, breathing heavily. They just stare at each other for a moment, Kyo not knowing what to do, and Tohru panting. Then she leans forward and puts her head in her hands. She sobs, and he scoots closer to wrap his arms around her shoulders.

"What happened?" he asks softly.

"Just a nightmare," she forces out between sobs.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It was—just, everything," she cries. "Everything that's happened, all at once." She moves her hands from her face and wraps them around his neck instead. She clings to him with shaking limbs and cries into his shoulder. He rubs circles against her spine.

"What does that mean?"

"F-first, it was Itsuki, and he cheated on me. And, and then I was with Asahi and he was saying horrible things, and then there was you...and I was with you outside of Shigure's house. And I told you I loved you, and then...then—then I fell."

She sounds borderline hysterical, and she's not making a ton of sense, but Kyo gets the jist of it, and it makes his heart seize up. She fell? At the end of her dream...did she fall off the cliff?

He doesn't want to say it out loud, as if uttering the actual words will somehow make everything a thousand times worse—that it'll make her cry harder, and then he'll cry too, and they'll both be a mess, and who takes care of who then?

But he knows he has to, so he whispers, "Fell...off the cliff?" He finishes the question off by pressing a kiss to her hair in a feeble attempt to soften the blow.

"Uh-huh," she whimpers.

"Do you dream about that a lot?"

"Not anymore. I still get n-nightmares sometimes, but they're usually about other things now, and just one thing at a time. This is the second time in the past few weeks, though. I don't know why. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Kyo just squeezes her tighter while he processes that. Having nightmares about something as traumatic as falling off a fucking cliff makes sense, of course. But it sounds like they'd stopped...so what happened to her in the past few weeks that would bring them back?

Oh.

Oh.

Now Kyo really does feel like he might cry, but he can't, dammit, because this is about comforting Tohru; if he cries, she'll switch to caring for him, because that's just the way she is. But she needs to have a safe place to fall apart, too. He just doesn't know how he can be that place when he's the cause of her trauma in the first place.

"I'm so sorry," he murmurs. "But you're safe. You're right here with me."

She nods against his shoulder, sniffling a few times along with it. She's starting to settle down. She's not sobbing as much anymore, her breathing slowing. She still clutches onto him, like he's the only thing keeping her tethered down to the world. And maybe he is—but that makes him sort of sad; he's not even really tethered down, himself, so how can he keep her here?

After a minute, Tohru pulls back and looks at him. Her face kills him. Tear-tracks are running down her pale cheeks, her brown eyes full of leftover tears, her mouth twisted into a frown. She's still beautiful, but she also looks so shattered.

He hates that he did that.

How does he make it better?

"I love you," she squeaks, and it just makes him feel even worse.

"I love you too. What can I do to help?" He lets go of her and moves his hands up to her face. He rubs away the dampness there with his thumbs, then leans forward and presses kisses to her cheeks. He can feel her smile a little. That's a start, at least.

"Just stay, please."

"Of course. I'll stay as long as you want."

"Forever?" she asks, a broken laugh sneaking its way into her voice. She's asking it like it's a wildly inappropriate question, like she has no right to request something like that. But he knows that Tohru Honda deserves the world, and if what she wants right now is this—him—then she's damn well going to get it.

And he wants her too. So, so badly.

"Forever," he affirms. Her eyes go wide, and she buries her face against his chest to hide her reddening cheeks. Even after being the one that asked, and after everything they've ever been through, after everything they've shared the past few weeks, she can still manage to get embarrassed over something as simple as this. He can't help but chuckle a bit at how adorable she is. He puts a hand on the back of her head, keeping her close.

"Can we go back to sleep for a bit?" she asks.

"Yeah, if you want. Do you think you can?"

"Maybe."

So he lets go and lies back down with her. She rolls onto her side so that they're facing each other, and he kisses her. "I'll be right here when you wake up," he says, watching as she closes her eyes.

"Promise?"

"I promise, Tohru."

Kyo watches her as she drifts off back to sleep. All things considered, it happens rather quickly, and soon she's lying next to him with one hand fisted in the fabric of his t-shirt, her lips slightly parted as she takes in deep breaths, her eyelashes fluttering a bit occasionally.

She's precious. Completely, totally pure and good and just the embodiment of love. He hates it when she hurts...especially when she hurts because of him. And he doesn't understand why she doesn't see it that way. After she'd explained her nightmare, he'd immediately made the connection—two years ago she fell off a cliff because of him, and tonight she dreamt about it because of him. But Tohru...her immediate reaction was to reach out to him, hold onto him, and beg him to stay. Why would anyone want the cause of their pain to stay?

He reaches out and uses his index finger to gently push some hair off her cheek. She's out, doesn't even stir at all. Good—she deserves to get more rest. He'll just stay and make sure she's safe.

Kyo doesn't sleep any more after that, which he'd expected, but Tohru sleeps until about eight. When she starts to stir next to him, Kyo moves closer and leaves light kisses all over her cheeks and nose. She giggles a little as she wakes up fully, then touches his cheek to stop him for a real kiss.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asks. She yawns and nods.

"Did you get any more sleep?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he lies. She either doesn't notice that he's lying or just doesn't mention it—either way, he's appreciative of that right now. "Hey, wanna go out to breakfast?"

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you've heard of it before—it's what people eat in the morning to break their fast," he deadpans.

She rolls her eyes and smiles. "I know what breakfast is, Kyo-kun."

"I kinda figured, dummy. So, why do you sound so surprised every time I ask you out?"

Tohru ponders that for a second, staring intently into his eyes as she does so. He thinks he might shatter under her gaze.

"Because, well...I just can't believe this is real," she admits quietly.

It's fair. Sometimes he can't believe it, either. The past few weeks have felt like one big fever dream. He keeps waiting for it to end, because dreams always do, but then each morning he wakes up and this is somehow still his reality. It's bizarre.

"It's real," he assures her.

She smiles a little and sits up, stretching her arms over her head. He tries to convince himself that he doesn't notice the way her stomach shows as her shirt moves up with her shoulders.

"Where do you want to go?" she asks.

"I...didn't really think about that part."

Tohru laughs. "Want me to cook, then?"

"No," he protests immediately. "The whole point is to go out so you don't have to do anything. I'll think of something while we get ready."

"Okay, then," she says, a teasing skepticism in her tone. He scoffs at it.

She gets out of bed, and for a minute, Kyo can't do anything but sit there and watch her as she moves around the room. She seems fine. If he hadn't been here last night, he would have no idea that she'd just gone through emotional hell a few hours ago.

But why?

The only conclusion he can come to doesn't make much sense, but also somehow explains everything:

Because Tohru is magic and precious and pure and good, but she's also a big fucking mystery.

They decide on a little cafe for breakfast. Tohru says they have amazing pancakes, something sentimental to them both after that summer they spent together at the Sohma beach house. Kyo hasn't had pancakes since that day, and the look on Tohru's face when she tells him about the restaurant is absolutely endearing, so he's game. They order a stack to share, and Kyo's eyes widen when the lady lays the plate between them.

"These are huge."

Tohru giggles and hands him a fork. These pancakes are about the size of her head. He's not sure how she's going to manage to eat even just one of them.

"Dig in, Kyo-kun!"

Instead of doing that, he just looks across the table at her. She cuts a piece of pancake off and holds it out to him on her fork. He shakes his head, trying to ignore the blood he can feel rushing to his cheeks. "You first."

Even still, Tohru is the one doing everything for him. She gives him her love, forgiveness, patience, and compassion every minute of every day that they're together.

What does he do? Sure, she looks happy right now. But how much is that really worth?

Finally, he takes a bite, chewing it slowly as he thinks.

What can he do?

What can he do for Tohru?

By the time they finish their pancakes—Tohru very proud that she could eat a whole one after Kyo teasing her about it—she's exhausted. For the past couple hours, she'd been running on fumes, though she tried her best to hide it, of course. After all she'd put Kyo through in the middle of the night, she doesn't dare show that she's exhausted—it'll only make both of them feel worse.

She can tell that he's worn out, too. He assured her that he got more sleep after her nightmare, but she can tell he didn't. She's always known Kyo well, understands him better than she understands herself, and that means that she can often see right through him. As he sits next to her on the train now, on the way back to Tohru's apartment, she notices the glassy look of his eyes, the way he's not sitting up quite as straight as he usually does, how he seems to be zoning out just like he's often told her not to do. She has to alert him when the train gets to their stop.

She knows something else, too—he thinks it's his fault she'd had that nightmare. But it's not. Dreams are just funny, she's discovered. They just pop up every once in a while, throw you off, then leave just as quickly as they came. It's no one's fault. Tohru has been so happy since Kyo came back into her life. That's all he's done—bring her joy. The nightmare wasn't his fault.

But she doesn't quite know how to say all of that out loud in a way that he'll believe, so she decides to let it lay for now.

At her apartment door, Kyo tugs on her hand to get her attention. After she finishes unlocking the door, she turns to him, and he immediately kisses her. It's warm and slow and sweet, but also full of guilt and a foggy-tiredness. When he pulls back, he says, "I'm going to go home for the day, 'kay? I should some get laundry and cleaning and stuff done before I have to work tomorrow."

She tries not to sound disappointed. "Yes, of course."

"I love you. Can I call you tonight?"

"I love you, too. You can call me anytime you want."

He smiles a little and takes her face in his hands, then presses a kiss to her forehead. When he's out of her line of sight, she goes inside, but just stands by the door for a minute. She's not quite sure what to do now that Kyo's not here. Though he doesn't technically live here, he's spent so much time here lately that it almost feels like he's become a permanent fixture of the apartment. His absence is leaving an odd ache in her chest.

Even though she's tired, if she naps now, her sleep schedule is going to get messed up and she'll be miserable by the time she goes back to work on Tuesday. So she has to find some way to stay awake. After a bit, she settles on scrubbing the floors. Then the kitchen countertop. Then every inch of the bathroom. She thought keeping busy would both keep the exhaustion at bay and get rid of the heavy feeling in her heart, but it doesn't.

She just misses him already.

Kyo has always been the kind of person who is embarrassed to admit their flaws, but there's one thing he'll readily own up to:

He knows nothing about girls.

His entire youth had been dedicated to avoiding them, then the last few years devoted to getting to know Tohru specifically. After everything happened with her, he never tried to get close to any girl again.

So thinking about getting her a present is more than a little intimidating.

Tohru likes pretty things, and pink, and things that are simple but thoughtful. But that doesn't really help narrow it down. Hell, he knows he could get her a stuffed animal or something from a department store and she'd be perfectly happy, but that's not what he wants to do. Not at all.

This is probably stupid, anyway. A gift won't repay all the love she's given Kyo.

But...it's a normal thing for a boyfriend to do for his girlfriend, right? That could be a start.

From his limited knowledge of the dating world—which comes almost exclusively from media and the stories he hears from coworkers—jewelry seems like a common gift for women, so he finds himself in a little jewelry shop between Tohru's apartment and the train station. He'd seen it on the way back to her place a bit ago, so it became his very first stop.

"Welcome in," the clerk calls.

"Hi." Kyo takes a second to just look around. He's never been in a jewelry store before. It's much more overwhelming than he'd assumed it would be. The lights are almost blindingly bright, and there are cases upon cases full of just about any kind of jewelry in any style that you could imagine. Most of them are diamond rings, though, and becoming aware of that feels a little suffocating—this store is full of implications.

"What brings you here today?"

Kyo realizes that he's really not sure. He hadn't thought farther ahead than going into the shop.

"Well, uh...I need a gift for my girlfriend."

"I'd be happy to help you with that! What exactly are you looking for? A promise ring?"

What the hell is a promise ring?

"Maybe, I guess?"

The man waves Kyo over to a case in the corner of the store. "I'll pull out a few of my favorites first," he says, opening the case. "Tell me about the girl."

Oh god, where to start? "W-well, she's amazing. We have a long history, but we just got together a few weeks ago. She just broke off an engagement not too long ago, so we're taking it slo—" Oh my god, she'd just broken off an engagement a bit ago. "Maybe a necklace," Kyo finishes.

"A necklace sounds good," the jeweler agrees, then motions Kyo over to a different case.

In the end, Kyo's pretty satisfied with what he got—Tohru's birthstone on a gold chain. It's dainty and beautiful. It glimmers when the light hits it just so. It's perfect—just like her.

He's ridiculously excited to give it to her.

At home, he sets it on his dresser and pulls out his phone to check the time. That had taken a lot longer than expected. And he's still exhausted. Realistically, he's not going to get any actual laundry or cleaning done. As he tries to gather the willpower to at least try, his phone vibrates. When he looks down at the screen, any glimmer of hope that he might have had about being productive slips away. He sinks down onto his bed and props his back against the wall behind him before answering.

"Hey, you."

"Hi, Kyo-kun!"

He chuckles. "What're you so excited about?"

"Talking to you," Tohru says matter-of-factly.

"Yeah? That excited? I just talked to you a few hours ago."

"O-oh, well, um…"

"I'm just teasing, Tohru. I miss you already, too."

She giggles, and when she talks again, she sounds relieved. "You're so mean, Kyo-kun," she quips.

He laughs and shakes his head. "Whatever."

"I...did call for another reason, too, though."

"Hm? And what's that?"

"Isuzu called me a bit ago."

"Oh yeah? You two hang out a lot?"

"We don't get to see each other too often, but we text and talk on the phone a lot."

"I'm glad you've had her around all this time."

But...was it also hard for her, he wonders? After everything that happened between her and Kyo, was it hard to keep in touch with members of his family? Or was she grateful for the support? He doesn't know if he should ask, and doesn't know how to, either.

"Mm-hmm. She's very special to me. And...she invited me to Shigure's for dinner on Tuesday."

Kyo feels every muscle in his body stiffen. It's not that he's trying to keep Tohru a secret persay, but they're still in the honeymoon phase, and he thinks there's a 150% chance his disapproving family will ruin that.

"Are you going to go?" He hopes his voice doesn't sound rough and unnatural. But she's quiet for a moment, so he knows she heard the change.

Damn it.

"I think so," she answers finally. "It's the only time I really get to see Yuki and Isuzu. Unless you don't want me to go."

"Tohru, of course I want you to go. You love them. You have a right to see them."

"But I love you more. So if you don't want me to go, I won't."

He smiles a little. "I know. Thank you. But it's okay."

"D-do you, uh...want to maybe come with me?"

That's where he needs to draw the line. Tohru going alone and mentioning Kyo in passing would be much easier for everyone to swallow. If they show up hand in hand, the 150% chance that things will get ruined increases to at least 200%. Yuki could probably still beat the shit out of him if he wanted to, which he definitely would.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"I thought you might say that."

She sounds disappointed. Fuck. What should he do now?

"What's wrong, Tohru?"

"Nothing. I understand, really. I just wish you didn't feel that way."

"What way?"

"Like you can't tell anyone about us."

She figured it out. Of course she did. Why would he ever think she wouldn't?

He sighs. "I just—you don't know what happened with everyone back then."

"So tell me," she whispers.

He doesn't want to. He knows it'll hurt her. She'll feel wrongly responsible and guilty, and that's the last thing she needs. But...

"Okay. Tomorrow, yeah? I have a present for you, too."

"Huh? Really? You didn't have to do that!"

Kyo smiles. "I know. I did it because I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, I'll be there after work."

When they hang up, Kyo lies down and chucks his phone down next to him. He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. This isn't how he wants things to go.

He feels like he's being ripped in two. He doesn't want her to know what happened when she was in the hospital. But she also deserves to know, and he understands that. But that isn't going to make telling her any easier.

Tohru stares down at her phone. The screen went dim long ago, but she can't make herself move, can't take her eyes off of it. She doesn't want to make Kyo uncomfortable. The last thing she wants is to have to see him in pain. But she has to know. If they're going to make this work, there can't be any baggage from back then left unpacked.

And...she doesn't want to be a secret.

Tohru doesn't like secrets. She's seen them from all angles—she's had secrets kept from her, she's kept secrets, and she's been a secret before. No matter how you look at it, secrets hurt people.

That woman...the one with Itsuki. She had come to the apartment to talk to Tohru a few days after Tohru had caught them together. Tohru didn't want to talk to her, of course, but she looked so utterly broken that Tohru's empathy quickly kicked into gear. They'd sat down on the couch and Tohru flitted around the room like she was hosting any normal guest—making tea, offering lunch—even though this woman had destroyed her life. Tohru hated that she was this way, that she was capable of acting like that towards someone she should hate with every fiber of her being.

Tohru will never forget their conversation, though.

"I didn't know about you," the woman had said. "He said he was single." She paused and laughed, the sound bitter. Her eyes were red. Tohru could tell that she'd been crying a lot recently. So maybe she was being genuine. "I ...I guess we were both a secret, huh?" she'd finished after a moment.

Tohru doesn't want to be a secret again.

She doesn't want it.

She doesn't.

A/N: Chapter title from "Painting Flowers" by All Time Low