A/N: Title from "When a Heart Breaks" by Ben Rector (song really has nothing to do with this story, other than that one line lol).

***TRIGGER WARNINGS: pregnancy, quick mention of blood, anxiety, marijuana use (ch. 2 only), quick mention of pedophilia (Katsuya Honda)

I've been working on this first chapter for literally months. I never thought I'd get to post it, so a couple lines were copied into other stories lol. Sorry if you notice. We know there was definitely some time in between the end of the anime and Kyoru babies, but I really wanted to explore the feelings that Kyo might have if it had happened sooner. So practice suspense of disbelief for me (if you're unfamiliar with the term, basically read this while pretending you DON'T know what you know lol).

The second chapter is what's going to meet the prompt. And even then, it's a lil abstract, so work with me lol. Enjoy, sorry for the lengthy note!

It isn't like her to leave her room like this and just...fall asleep.

Granted, Tohru deserves down time more than anyone else in the world. But to curl up on the floor, still in her school uniform, surrounded by forms they've been working on for the apartment they're moving into in a couple of months is just weird.

Kyo kneels and lays a hand on her head. "Hey, dork. Wake up."

She stirs, humming as she opens her eyes. "K-kyo-kun?" She snaps up into a sitting position—which must make her dizzy, judging by the way she presses on her temple afterwards—and looks outside at the darkening sky. "Oh my gosh! How long have I been asleep?!"

"I dunno. I just found you. Are you feelin' okay?"

Tohru sits still for a minute, clearly doing a mental scan of her body before answering. "I feel sort of weird. I bet…" she trails off there, and Kyo notices a hint of a blush starting across her nose.

He sits down fully and pulls her into his lap. "You bet what?"

"It's embarrassing…"

"Oh? Well now I gotta know," he teases. He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and lets his fingers linger on her neck for a moment. She doesn't feel warm, so that's good at least.

"I just...I bet that I'll get my period soon."

He crinkles his nose in mock disgust, watching as she smiles fully for the first time that day—she really must be feeling weird, he thinks now, taking that into account—then leans forward and kisses her cheek. "That's not embarrassing. Is there anything I can do?"

"Mmm...just give me lots of cuddles?" she asks sweetly, shooting him a big, cheesy grin.

He chuckles. "I give you lots of cuddles anyway. I was thinking, like, candy or something? Isn't that what girls want on their periods—sugar?"

"Sometimes, I guess," Tohru laughs. "But the idea of eating anything makes me feel kind of sick right now."

"Just cuddles it is, then." He takes her cheek in his hand and plants rapid-fire kisses all over her face. She chuckles and cups his own cheeks, stopping him for an actual kiss.

"I love you," she whispers when they pull apart.

"I love you too," he says back. "So...can I help you with the forms?"

"O-oh, I'm so sorry you have to do that! I agreed to do them and then I just fell asleep...I'm awful."

"Don't do that to yourself. You're not awful, you're just not feeling well," he insists.
"And besides, I'm the reason you're moving away, so the least I can do is fill out a few of these things." When they'd started the moving process, Tohru immediately agreed to do all the paperwork because she's a weirdo who likes that kind of stuff. But obviously it's wearing her out.

Tohru smiles and moves off of his lap, selecting a form and handing it to him. "You're very sweet, Kyo-kun."

Kyo will never quite understand why she compliments him for doing the bare minimum, but her praise always makes him grin like an idiot just the same. He takes the paper and turns away, hoping she won't notice how pink his face has gotten.

They work next to each other in a comfortable silence, each of them busy with their own forms. It's mind-numbing paperwork, but there's something so exciting about it, all the same—they're getting ready for their first place, after all.

"Let's take a break for dinner?" he suggests a bit later, when he thinks his brain might finally explode from information-overload.

"That's probably a good idea."

"I'll cook tonight. What do you feel like? Curry, or…?"

Tohru opens her mouth to respond, but quickly clamps her palm over it.

"Tohru?" he asks, putting a hand on her back. She moves away from his touch, rising to her feet and making a beeline for the bathroom across the hall.

Then, judging by the sounds coming from the bathroom, she's throwing up. Kyo cringes and heads into the hall. She didn't close the door, so he figures it's okay for him to go in, and he does and stands behind her, scooping her hair up into his hands as she leans on the toilet.

"Tohru…" he says gently. "You're feeling this bad? You don't usually get like this with your period, do you?"

She holds her hand up to her mouth for a moment before reaching for a tissue to wipe her lips. "Not usually...I guess…" she pants.

"Maybe you should lie down."

"I'm fine, Kyo-kun. Don't worry."

It's hard to not worry when she crawls back toward the toilet right after that statement, though.

"You're lying down," he declares sternly once she's done. She finally gives in and nods.

Once she's finished, he helps her onto her bed and smoothes back her now-sweaty bangs, kissing her forehead. "C-can I help you?"

"H-help…? Oh, of course. Thank you very much," she rambles awkwardly.

Kyo swallows his own nervousness and reaches down toward her feet, gently pulling off one knee-high sock and then another. Somehow, after all they've done together, removing her clothes so slowly, without an underlying heat of passion, feels so oddly intimate. It briefly reminds him that, even with how close they already are, this relationship is really still new. He kisses each of her calves lightly, because it feels like the thing to do, and it must be alright, because it makes her smile a bit, despite the fact that she looks exhausted.

Once she's in pajamas, Kyo tells her that he'll go get water, but when he turns, her voice stops him.

"Kyo-kun?" He hums in response, looking back at her. "W-what if…?"

"Huh? What if what?"

She pauses, her mouth contorted into a frown. "What if I'm pregnant?" she whispers, once she's apparently gathered her courage.

Kyo feels his shoulders stiffen. "You're not pregnant. You're on birth control."

He loves her. He would die without her. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her, which might include kids at some point. But not now. Not when they're just barely starting out, about to move across the country together, young and poor. Not when they've just started dating. Not when things are so new and uncertain between them, and about the curse breaking. What if this stops being what she wants someday? If she's pregnant, then…

She's tied to him. Forever.

Forever bound to the monster he still sometimes fears he is.

"Well, that doesn't always…"

"Tohru. You take it every day, right? At the same time?"

"...Most of the time."

He raises an eyebrow.

"I missed a few days last month."

"What? How?" A vague sense of panic settles into Kyo's gut, and he hates it, but tries to keep it at bay for the time being.

"I forgot to go refill the prescription on time," Tohru admits sheepishly.

With all she does around the house and at school, he can't blame her for that.

But he can absolutely still be fucking terrified.

He sits down on the edge of her bed. "I'll buy you a test. If, uh. If you want."

"That might be a good idea," she says softly. She lifts a hand, hesitates for a moment, and then reaches out to him. He squeezes her fingers with his own.

Deep breaths, he reminds himself.

"It's gonna be fine. You'll see." He kisses the back of her hand, then lets it go. "I'll be back."

He goes to a drug store that's out of the way and off the main path, hoping to avoid running into anyone he knows. And when he gets there, he stands in front of a row of pregnancy tests, completely and utterly lost. He's too young to know about this shit. Well, not really, he supposes, since he's clearly old enough to need one. It just feels like he is because of his history, because of what he thought his future would be like until just recently. The longer he stands there and stares, the more the anxiety in his chest increases in intensity—until, all of a sudden, deep breaths can't contain it anymore.

Theoretically, he knows he's not cursed anymore. Not a cat, not a monster, just human. Most of the time, he's able to grasp that. But the doubt still comes creeping in on a somewhat regular basis—even if he's not technically a monster anymore, Tohru deserves better, and she could realize that at any time and leave. He wouldn't be able to stop her, and he wouldn't deserve to, either. The curse could come back at any time, too. And then...if she ends up pregnant and they part someday, she's going to have a kid that's the product of a monster.

He hurries and panic-buys a few different varieties, which earns him a weird look from the cashier, so it must not be the normal thing to do, but he's past caring at this point. He just wants to get home, get to Tohru, and get this all figured out.

She can't be pregnant.

She just can't.

The hour that Kyo is gone at the drugstore is one of the most nerve-wracking of Tohru's life. Now, not only is she nauseous, but anxiety also fills her gut. He sounded so...upset at the prospect that she might be pregnant, even though he tried to hide it (he can never actually hide anything from her, and they both know it).

She's not sure what to make of his reaction.

Yes, they're young. Yes, they haven't been together long. But she's madly in love with him, and him with her—she thinks. No, she knows. The idea of growing a little human, a life that they've produced together, and bringing it into the world to love and nurture is honestly a little exciting to Tohru. There would be a lot involved in getting the logistics worked out, but at the end of the day, if she's pregnant, the baby is half her and half Kyo, the person she loves more than anyone in the world.

Would he really find a baby so unwelcome?

Does he not want that with her?

Tohru puts her hands over her face, digs the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. She curses herself under her breath. She should have just taken the hour necessary to go fill her prescription on time instead of putting it off for an entire week. Now she might be pregnant, and Kyo-kun's mad at her. And she doesn't think he would, knows he wouldn't, but god, if she's pregnant and he leaves her because of it, she'll have to raise a baby alone—

"Hey. You okay?"

Tohru pulls her hands away and sits up—slowly, this time—blinking away the blurry spots the assault on her eyes left in her vision.

"U-um. Yes, I'm fine, Kyo-kun. You were gone a while."

He shrugs. "Didn't know what exactly to get." He dumps the contents of a plastic shopping bag onto the folding table in the center of her room. She sees his hands trembling as he does so. It breaks her heart.

She moves across the room and kneels in front of the table, eyes widening as she looks at the four different boxes in front of her. "I wouldn't know what to get, either," she admits.

Kyo sits down next to her, crossing his legs into a pretzel. He reaches out to her with a shaky arm and wraps it around her waist. She leans into his touch. He definitely doesn't seem okay, but if he can bring himself to touch her...maybe it's not as bad as she thought.

"These were the most expensive," he says, pointing to a blue box. "So they must be the best. I guess. Maybe?"

"Okay."

She'd love to sit here like this longer, wrapped up in his arms, and pretend that there's no heavy air between them. Pretend that everything is the same as it was this morning, that she doesn't need to go take a pregnancy test right now, that the fate of their relationship might not rest on the plastic sticks inside these boxes. But she knows she can't. So she gets up because she has to, and grabs the box he'd motioned to.

"Do...uh. Do you want me to come with you?" he asks, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I-if you don't mind, would you stay here?" she asks. Maybe that's cruel of her, to make Kyo sit here and wait for the answer while she finds out first. But she knows that she'll need a minute alone to process the result, whatever it may be, before coming back in here and figuring out how to move forward with him. "I'll be quick."

"Uh, yeah. 'Course."

While the test processes, she sits on the bathroom floor with her back against the cabinets and her head in her hands. This is all just...so much. Even if she isn't pregnant, this will change things between her and Kyo in some way, right? It has to. You don't just learn that your girlfriend is so irresponsible she almost got pregnant at 18 when it was entirely avoidable, then just go back to the way things were—don't go back to trusting her, maybe even don't go back to loving her.

When the timer on her phone goes off, she reaches behind her onto the counter, smacking her hand around blindly until she finds the pregnancy test. When she sees the result, she immediately drags herself up off the floor. She lets herself cry for just a minute, hand over her mouth to stifle any sobs that might come out. Then, she takes a few deep breaths to pull herself together and splashes cool water on her face. If she stays in here too long, she knows she'll lose her nerve to go tell Kyo what's going on.

When Tohru opens her bedroom door, Kyo is still sitting on the floor in front of the folding table, in the exact same position she'd left him in. He springs to attention.

"What did it say?" he asks. She hesitates.

Spit it out, Tohru.

"Pregnant."

"...Oh."

Oh? That's it? She gets it—he's scared. But so is she. Raising a baby at 18 is a terrifying thought. And she just found out that she's growing another human inside her, half her and half her favorite person in the world...and that's all she gets from him?

She doesn't know exactly why, but right now, he's really making her peeved. "That's all you're going to say?"

He blinks, clearly a little taken aback by the edge in her tone. "Uh…"

"Never mind," she mumbles. She turns on her heel and heads back to her door.

"Tohru, wait! I'm just...surprised." He catches up to her and grabs her hand.

"Is it good surprised? Or bad?"

Kyo squeezes her hand, his grip so tight it feels like it might bruise. "Well…"

"That's what I thought." She rips her hand away and steps out into the hall.

"Tohru, wait, please…you didn't even let me answer. Let's talk," Kyo calls from behind her. He's on her heels as she makes her way down the stairs. Part of her wants to turn around and grab him and sob into his chest. But a bigger part of her is angry, and that's an emotion she doesn't really know how to deal with. So she just keeps walking.

Once she gets to the genkan, she shoves her feet into her shoes.

"W-where are you going?" Kyo asks. And he sounds so scared that her heart lurches for a second before the swell of frustration comes back and takes over again.

"On a walk."

"Hang on..." He rushes to put his own shoes on, but Tohru shakes her head.

"Please don't follow me."

"Oh...okay."

And then she's out of the house. Immediately, she realizes that she should have brought a coat, but there's no way she's going back for one now. She also instantly starts crying, which makes her even angrier than she already had been. How could she have been so stupid, so reckless? She's ruined everything. She doesn't even really know why she's mad, when he's the one who should be. She judged him based on a snap reaction, and that isn't fair. She should have heard him out. She knows that. As she walks, she squeezes her eyes shut tight to try and hold back the tears.

She doesn't even realize she's made it to the stairs until she feels herself falling.

When she opens her eyes again, she sees she's only gone down a handful of steps, thank god. But her left ankle is throbbing. She tries to stand, and it promptly gives out on her again. She lets out a hiss of air from between her teeth. That really hurts. She pats her hip, looking for her phone...except she's still in her pajamas, so she left it inside.

Well...fantastic. She's cold and upset. She's pretty hurt. She told Kyo not to follow her. She doesn't have her phone.

Tohru figures out very quickly that she has absolutely no idea what to do.

So she cries. She holds her head in her hands and allows herself to completely break down, something she doesn't usually do. And it hurts, but it also feels sort of good.

Kyo gives her a good 45 minutes before he starts to get really worried. Where the hell did she go on this "walk"? He's been pacing back and forth in the hall, driving himself crazy, and he can't take it anymore.

"Is it good surprised? Or bad?"

If he's being completely honest, probably both.

Obviously, an unplanned pregnancy at 18 years old is a terrifying prospect. It's a huge change from the future Kyo saw for himself just a few months ago and it's overwhelming, to say the least. But mostly, he was worried about her, about her future and her relationship with him.

And he hadn't even had time to think before she interpreted his silence as an answer to that question.

He loves her. He loves her so much, and that's never going to change. No matter what happens, he knows that. He should have just forced out a "good surprised" and held her, let her cry because Tohru deserves to be able to do that with him anytime, no questions asked. It had been selfish of him to not do that, and he hurt her. With his selfishness. Again. After he fucking swore to himself he'd never let that happen again. How does he always make this mistake? He lets his own insecurities take over and doesn't give her time to voice her own feelings. He never learns.

He knows she doesn't want to talk to him, but he calls her...only to hear the ringtone go off in the upstairs bathroom.

"Shit," he mumbles. But he's always been a man of action and not words, anyway, so he steps into his Converse and heads outside.

He has no idea where she might have gone, but there's only one way to get away from Shigure's house—the stairs. That'll be his first step.

When he gets to the top, he hears a hiccuping sob from below him. He snaps his eyes in that direction and sees Tohru sitting about a fourth of the way down, head in her hands, shoulders quaking...and her ankle is red and swollen, her pajamas are torn at the knees, and one of her knees is bleeding. He sprints down the stairs like a mad man.

"Tohru...Tohru, oh my god, what happened?"

She doesn't answer with words, just reaches out and grabs him. He wraps his arms around her in return, and she sobs into his chest.

"Hey," he coos, stroking her hair. "It's okay. Let's get you back inside." He scoops her up and takes her back up the stairs and into the house, her still bawling the whole time. He's really glad no one's home so he doesn't have to explain this and can just take her straight to bed.

Once she's settled on top of the covers, he gets the first aid kit out of her bathroom. He presses an antiseptic wipe to her skinned knee, then focuses on the bigger task. As he's wrapping her ankle, she starts to settle down. But Kyo feels himself riling up, a plethora of unexplainable emotions bubbling up his throat until they spill out of his mouth.

"Tohru…" he says. He looks up at her, and she looks back, eyes red and puffy. She sniffles.

"What?"

"You…" he blurts, "you have to be careful. If something happened to you and the baby, I don't know what I'd do!"

She hesitates. "And...and the baby?" she repeats softly.

He didn't even really notice he'd said it. But when she repeats it back to him, he knows that he meant it with his entire being. "Yeah," he confirms. "The baby, too."

She worries her lower lip between her teeth and moves her gaze downward. He recognizes immediately that she's probably just seconds away from more tears, but he doesn't know how to stop it at all. So he just watches, like the idiot he knows he is.

"Don't you, um. Shouldn't we talk about that?" she asks.

Kyo takes a deep breath and finishes up her ankle before saying anything else. Then he looks at his girlfriend, and realizes he's really just not sure where to begin.

"I just...well, for one, I know we wouldn't really be traditional parents," he says hesitantly.

"So?" she shoots back immediately. He blinks, a little nonplussed by her directness. When he doesn't respond, she fills the silence. "My parents weren't, either. My mom...she was really young when she married my dad. A bit younger than we are now, I think. And my dad was a student teacher at her middle school."

That makes Kyo's stomach churn. It's so…

What the hell?

"O-oh...that's…"

"I know." Tohru smiles, although it looks more than a little bitter. "But anyway, they still made it work with me, for the short time we were all together. I'm never leaving you, Kyo-kun—we're going to be together forever. So we can definitely make it work, too."

The emotion Kyo feels welling up in his chest is odd. For a second, he can't place it, but finds the words quickly: acceptance, adoration, love. He wants to move closer to her, throw his arms around her, and cry into her shoulder. But his biggest fear is still lingering.

"That's true now, b-but, what if...what if, in a couple years you don't wanna be with me anymore?" he whispers.

"That's not going to happen," she says simply.

"Okay, but what if it does?"

He can tell by the way she sighs a little that she's a bit frustrated, but she indulges him nonetheless. "Then we'll co-parent. Because, even if we decide that we're not in love with each other anymore someday, we'll still always love each other, and we'll always love our baby."

They watch each other silently for a little while. Tohru's expression is hard, determined—her lips are drawn into a straight line, her eyes slightly narrowed, her jaw set. That's her stubborn face. She's not giving this up. And really, he knows that he shouldn't, either.

He wonders what she must have felt, sitting out there on the steps alone and bleeding and crying, wondering if their relationship was hanging in the balance because of his idiotic initial reaction. She must have thought hard, even through her tears, to come to this conclusion—that she wants this, wants him, no matter how stupid he'd been about it.

Kyo takes a deep breath and scoots closer to her. "So you want to have this baby?"

"Yes."

He nods, mind whirling.

"Do you?" she adds, her voice cracking. She clears her throat to try and hide it, but he already heard it—she can never get anything past him, either. He snaps his eyes up to hers. And he knows that he does. How could he possibly not want to have a baby with this woman? This woman who loves him so fiercely, cares about everyone so damn much, is smart, and beautiful, and hard-working, and kind...he'd be insane to not want to see her as a mom right now, even though the timing isn't perfect.

And he loves her, too. He really loves her so much. A mini-Tohru would be the greatest thing in the world.

He swallows hard, giving her a nod. He hates the way tears well up in her eyes, hates that he's the cause of them yet again. He's put her through so much pain today, both physically and emotionally.

He's awful. He doesn't deserve this.

But for some reason, she still wants to give it to him.

"Say it out loud, please," she chokes out. She promptly covers her face with her hands, heaving a sob as the tears fall. Before he really knows what he's doing, he's reaching out to her. He lays his palm flat against her stomach. There's no bump there yet, of course, but their baby is in there all the same. It feels so right to touch her like this, like he's also somehow holding the little person growing inside of her.

She gasps at his touch and pulls her hands back to look at him with wide eyes.

"Yes," he says quietly. He forces himself to keep eye contact. If he wants this, he has to fight for it. "I want to have this baby with you, Tohru."

"Okay," she whispers. He moves his hand up to her cheek, using his thumb to wipe at the teardrops lingering there. "Then we're having a baby."

He smiles, and despite the mixed emotions still sitting heavy in his gut, it's genuine. "We're having a baby."

She smiles back, any remaining sadness leaving her gaze when he leans forward and pulls her into his lap. He kisses her, long and sweet, and he never wants to stop. But eventually breathing becomes necessary again, and he moves his face back, knocking his nose against hers affectionately.

"So, what d'ya think? A boy or a girl?" he asks.

Her cheeks light up pink, and he admittedly takes a bit of delight in the fact that he's elicited such a reaction. She brings her hand up to her mouth and bites at her nails anxiously, as if this is the most important question she'll ever answer. He chuckles and guides her hand away, taking it in his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"It's just a guess, Tohru."

"I think...a boy."

"Yeah? That's kinda what I was thinking, too." He returns her grin. "Either way, I hope they look like you, though."

"You don't want a little red headed boy with a temper?" she asks jokingly.

He groans in mock irritation. "I can't even handle myself, let alone a mini-me at the same time."

She giggles, but then her face turns serious again. "How do we tell people?"

"We don't have to yet. Not if you don't want to."

"We have to call Hatori, though," she points out.

"Ah, true. He can keep a secret, though. Doctor-patient confidentiality or whatever. Plus the weirdo never talks to anyone, anyway."

She smacks his chest lightly and insists, "Be nice, Kyo-kun." They sit in silence for a minute, Kyo pressing kisses to Tohru's temple and cheeks occasionally. Then Tohru asks softly, "So...you're really okay with this? Really really?"

"Yeah. Really really."

"Even though this is probably going to make us really poor?" She giggles, but it sounds a little watery.

He snorts out a short laugh, then rushes to reassure her. "Are you kidding? There's no one else I'd rather be really poor with. I get you and a baby. That's plenty…" He pauses and laces their fingers together. He never thought he'd get this far, and rightfully so—his whole life up until a few months ago, people had just talked about what a burden he is, and how glad they were that he'd be going away forever soon. But now…

"That's more than enough," he finishes.

"I love you," she whispers. "So much."

"I love you, too."

"I'm kinda sleepy. Will you stay and cuddle me?"

"'Course." He points to her ankle. "Careful, though. We should keep it elevated."

"Yes, Doctor."

Kyo laughs and shakes his head. She moves off of his lap and lies back on the pillows, first allowing him to take one to prop her ankle up with. He goes to get changed into pajamas, and when he comes back, Tohru's already asleep. He smiles as he watches the even rising and falling of her chest, takes in the way her thick hair is fanned out across her seemingly endless supply of throw pillows, listens to the slight snore escaping her parted lips. She's had an eventful day. They both have. And...she's growing another person now, too. He can't imagine how tiring that must be for her body, even in this very early stage.

He wants to get into bed next to her, but something stops him. He can't put his finger on exactly what, though. So he turns around and tiptoes out of her room and down the stairs, thinking some milk might help relax him so he can go to sleep.

And so an hour later, he finds himself on the kitchen floor in the dark with a completely empty milk carton at his feet, and his head in his hands because he just has no idea what the fuck he's doing.