When Kyo turned eight, Master taught him about his beads.

They are Juzu beads, something usually used to count how many prayers one has said, Master told him. He also told him what the beads are made of, and that the material used to create them is incredibly powerful and precious. He didn't have details about how exactly the magic works, and while that frustrated young Kyo, looking back on it, he can't blame Master. The use of the beads to keep his True Form at bay is completely illogical, yet somehow still effective, and he's had to come to terms with that unknown.

After learning about the material of the beads, they seemed to sit heavier on his wrist. He didn't truly understand the weight of wearing the remains of a human sacrifice as a bracelet until much, much later, of course. But he knew they were important—his mother had made that clear enough by checking his wrist for them several times a day. And the new knowledge that he had been given such an important piece of magic made him see the bracelet in a whole new light. It increased his anxiety, and he paid much more attention to the beads. He clung to them more tightly.

In his mother's absence and now armed with this new understanding of the Juzu beads, Kyo took over his mom's obsession and started to check every hour to make sure the beads were still there.

Over time, that relaxed a bit. He became able to sleep through the night without sitting up and grabbing his wrist several times. Eventually, he stopped checking altogether because, really, why should he check? As long as no one touches them, they're not going anywhere. It's not like they have a mind of their own, like they can get sick of their fate of being bound to this sorry boy's wrist, and then flee. (Probably. They are magic, after all. Who is he to say where exactly that ends?)

But then Tohru starts to touch them. It happens after she chased after his true form, when Master had pulled them off against his will. Before that, she essentially ignored the existence of the beads, probably figuring they were just a piece of jewelry, maybe a lucky charm of sorts like other guys at their school wear in the form of necklaces or bracelets. She never mentioned it to him, didn't ask any questions, and that was good. That was how it should be. Someone like her—innocent and kind and just plain good—shouldn't have to be exposed to a horror such as the story behind Kyo's bracelet.

But now…

She doesn't seem to do it on purpose. She doesn't even really look like she notices that she does it. But Kyo notices, of course. At first it makes him nervous. But her touch is soft, and always brief—a quick sliding of the beads through her fingertips before pulling her hand away again. The closer the two of them get, the most used to it he becomes. He starts to like it, even. It's almost comforting to have someone else know the significance but not be afraid of it, afraid of him. Sometimes it thinks it comforts her too—it's a reminder that he's here with her, not going anywhere for the time being.

Why exactly that's so important to her, he refuses to understand.

"Can I...uh. Can I show you something?" Her voice is still raspy and raw from crying so hard, and Kyo is fumbling with his beads to get them back in place quickly enough to avoid going from cat-to-human-and-now-to-monster in the span of the last five minutes.

"Yeah," he says once he has them on. "'Course."

He looks up at her, and her brown hair is glowing warm in the sunset. The sheets still sway on the drying rod behind her, their presence totally forgotten by her, and they create an oddly serene backdrop that he thinks makes her look like an angel. Then again, he always thinks she looks like an angel, doesn't he?

She makes her way over to him, light footsteps padding on the wood of the deck, and she slips her pinky between the skin of his wrist and the bracelet sitting there. Once they're walking back into the house together, he expects her to let go, but she doesn't. Her pinky finger stays tightly wrapped around one of the red beads. It stays that way until they make it to her room, then she lets go and leaves him in the doorway as she goes over to her dresser. Kyo fiddles with the bracelet anxiously, trying to forget how much he liked the feel of her finger on the inside of his wrist just now. Tohru fumbles with her mom's picture frame for a moment before turning back around and holding out another picture, one that had previously remained hidden behind the one of her mother flashing the camera a peace sign and cheesy grin.

"This is him," she says, tone timid. "My...father."

"So you do have a picture." Kyo forces himself to smile a bit, then steps forward and takes the photograph from between her index finger and thumb. "That's so you."

She laughs lightly, and then she's leading him around by his beads again until they're seated next to each other on the edge of her bed. He looks at the picture and she thumbs at one of the beads on his bracelet again.

"I dunno what you or your family were talkin' about. You could be his twin."

"That's nice of you to say, Kyo-kun."

"Well it's true."

He glances down at her hand, at the way her thumb rubs around one of the red beads over and over again. He wonders if she always chooses a red bead—the ones lacquered in blood—on purpose, and if so, why. He's already tarnished as a person, and his whole bracelet too, but the red beads most of all, perhaps. Why would she want to touch that part of him? But it seems like this repetitive movement is helping to calm her down a little.

So even though he knows he probably should, he doesn't tell her to stop.

When the beads hit the ground and scatter, Kyo doesn't know what to do. He can't breathe, he can't move. He just stands there and stares. He's just barely aware of the sound of Tohru sobbing hysterically behind him, but he can't go to her, can't make his legs work. And then she's suddenly on her knees before him, a handkerchief (something she always seems to have on her person somewhere, though he hadn't seen it just now) in her left hand. She chases the beads with her free hand as they roll and spin, picking them up one by one and placing them carefully in the cloth she holds. Tears are still streaming down her face, and her breath still comes in hiccups, but she ignores it and works.

And still, all he can do is watch.

When she's done, she stands up and peers into the handkerchief at the beads. "Sixteen...how many were there?" she murmurs to herself.

His ears perk up at that. Why does it matter to her if she got them all? Why does it matter to her if she even got any of them at all?

Kyo clears his throat and covers his eyes with his arm, trying to get his own crying under control. "Sixteen," he confirms.

From behind the shield of his arm, he can't see her approach, but she does and wraps one arm around his middle. The contact makes him stiffen a bit out of instinct, but after a few seconds of no transformation, he's able to open his eyes and lower his arm to hug her back.

Tohru squeezes him tighter, the handkerchief now knotted up at the top and being cradled in her free palm. "I love you," she sobs into his chest. "I love you so much."

And even though he knows that now, it still feels a little odd to hear. The fact that she willingly picked up the reminder of the monster he once was and can tell him she loves him while clinging to it, feels a little odd to hear. He tries to ignore the vague sense of anxiety it churns up in his gut.

"I love you too."

When they finally move into their first apartment, the first thing Tohru does is set out the things that used to sit on her dresser at Shigure's house. Well, technically, what she does first is tug him into a long, heated kiss, but that's besides the point.

What furniture they have (essentially just Tohru's bed, dresser, and desk, all which Shigure insisted they take) hasn't been delivered yet, but they did pay extra to bring a few boxes on the train, in order to have them right away. So she's standing in the kitchen on her tiptoes, stretching to reach the windowsill behind the sink. Kyo chuckles as he comes up behind her.

"So puny," he teases, then when she turns around and gives him her best attempt at a glare, he eases up on her. He kisses her forehead. "Want some help?"

She nods. "Yes, please."

He takes the picture frame she's holding and sets it out, then the hat next to it, and then…

He freezes when she hands him the bowl of his beads.

"Kyo-kun?" she asks.

"Yeah, uh. What's up?"

She's quiet for a moment, apparently trying to figure out what's wrong with him. Then, all of a sudden, she bursts out, "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry, Kyo-kun! I didn't even think about it. Is...is it okay with you if we put those out here? Maybe you don't want to see them in our new apartment?"

While there are definitely times he would like to be able to completely leave that part of him behind, he knows it's not possible. He's accepted that this will always be a part of him. Tohru has, too. And she even treasures it.

"Calm down, dummy, it's fine." He gently knocks his knuckles against her temple. "We can put them out wherever you want."

After all, he wants to add, you're the only reason they're even here. He stays quiet and just puts the bowl in the remaining empty spot on the windowsill.

Tohru claps her hands together in joy. "Perfect!" she squeals. "Look at us, we've already unpacked a box!"

Kyo glances at the box at her feet, which is indeed empty now. "That's all you put in that box?"

"These things are very precious, Kyo-kun. I didn't want them to break."

He snorts out a laugh, earning him another glare. "Sorry. You're just cute."

Her cheeks light up red, and he honestly takes a lot of delight in the fact that he has such a strong effect on her.

"I love you. I'm so happy to be here with you," she says softly, reaching out to him. Her fingers ghost over his now-bare left wrist before she settles her hand in his.

"I love you, too. And so am I."

In the next few years that follow, Kyo tries very hard to adjust to being a normal person. He eventually falls into a daily routine, and actually really likes that it feels so mind-numbingly mundane some days. It's still hard sometimes. But no matter what he's doing, or how he's feeling on any given day, he's just as in love with Tohru as he's always been, and her with him—that love never gets worn out. And he can't ask for more than that.

He unlocks their front door and steps inside. As he kicks off his shoes in the genkan, he runs his fingers over his wrist. He hates that he's developed this habit, but…

No beads. Good.

"I'm home," he calls.

"Welcome home, Kyo-kun!" Tohru comes around the corner so quickly that she almost falls, her socked feet sliding out from under her on the slick wood floor. He reaches out and grabs her arm to keep her upright.

"Woah," he chuckles. "Miss me that much?"

She giggles. "Of course."

He leans down as she stands on her tiptoes, and he kisses her hello in a practiced motion.

He follows her into the kitchen, where the kettle is screeching on the stove, then asks, "How was work?"

She freezes for just a second before pouring the hot water into two mugs. "W-well, I...I didn't go."

"Huh? Are you sick?"

"A little. But it's not what you think," she rushes to reassure him. "It's just…"

"Well now you gotta tell me before I freak out worrying," he points out.

She takes a deep breath and, nerves apparently now steeled, she turns around to face him. "Kyo-kun, I'm pregnant."

"Huh?"

She blinks. "Uh…"

Kyo takes a stumbling step back and catches his back against the kitchen wall. "Are you...being serious right now?"

Tohru nods. He looks down at his wrist again. They stand in silence for a few moments, Kyo's eyes downcast at his arm, fixated on the little strip of skin that's somehow still slightly lighter than the rest. Then he hears a sniffle. He snaps his head back up.

"Don't cry," he pleads, rushing forward to her. He wraps her up in his arms.

"I just don't want you to be mad at me," she cries, burying her face against his chest.

"M-mad at you?" he asks, trying to work through the tears he feels forming in his own eyes. "Tohru, never."

"I know this wasn't planned…"

"So what?"

"What?" she asks, pulling back to look at him. When she sees how wet his cheeks are, she starts sobbing all over again.

"So what, it wasn't planned? Who cares? We're gonna have a baby." He takes her cheeks in his hands. "I love you. So, so, so much."

"I love you too." She sniffles. "You're okay with this?"

"Tohru…" he pauses and wipes his eyes with one hand, trying to figure out how exactly to say this in order to get his point across. "I love you so much. And now you're having our baby. Our baby. That's just more to love."

Once they both settle down, they drink their tea together. Kyo orders delivery for dinner because there's no way in hell he's letting Tohru cook tonight, even though she's insisting endlessly that she wants to. When they curl up in bed afterwards, she falls asleep almost right away. Kyo sits with his thoughts for a bit longer as he watches her doze in his arms.

He tries to picture himself as a father, but that's hard, so he lets it go for the time being. Picturing Tohru as a mom is much easier—it seems like the kind of task she was born for. He doesn't have much experience with mothers, but as he sits there and stares at her, he can see her and their child so clearly.

He shifts his left arm out from behind her head a bit to take one last look at his wrist.

It's ironic, he knows. In the same way that his mother used to check several times a day to make sure his beads were on, Kyo now checks to make sure that they're still off.

He's really, really glad he and Tohru will never have to do that with their child. He's happy that, because of Tohru's tenacity and pure selfless love, their kid will get to have a normal life. He feels like he might cry again, but he doesn't want to wake Tohru up, so he nuzzles his face into her hair and distracts himself with thoughts of a mini version of her.

A/N: Posted at 11:40 PM, just in time. Ah, gotta love chronic procrastination, and honestly, this prompt was hard for me. Hope you guys liked this one.

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