A/N:
I was really, really disheartened and disappointed this week because there were no reviews, the views were just shooting down (especially in the prologue T-T), and only three people followed this fanfiction this week (Renzin, The Blue Amethyst, and Raptor, thank you from the bottom of my heart T-T), but it's fine.
It's all great.
(You could hear my lame-ass trying to be positive from far away… My motivation for this story plummeted and is still surviving by a scratch but…
Please, please, please REVIEW..! Even you have reviewed before, please review! It keeps the un-motivation at bay. I had been checking my emails everyday during the last weeks so many times but I had gotten disappointed a lot so I tried to stop looking in.)
This chapter has almost 14,000 words! It's twice the amount of words a usual chapter in this fanfiction has, but oh well! I tried my very, very best and I really hope that you guys like this chapter!
This chapter is for you, my beloved followers…! Even though there's only 17 people (thank goodness for that too), I love you guys. XD
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1 year later
My bones rattled hollowly as I heavily went up the stairs to my room like a zombie. I had just arrived from training in the park, Torture and Hell, I liked to call it. Dragging my backpack on the floor with a hand, I swung open the doors to my room and flopped on my bed. My bruised muscles screamed with pain as I tried to turn myself over on my back.
Extremely exhausted, my mind began to wander as I stared up at the ceiling of my room.
I've been here for almost two years. As a different person.
Gathering all my strength, I lifted my head as I reached for a throw pillow to lean on. I'm just a level under the level of strength and skill that I had been before I had my knee injury. Before I came here.
To think about it, how old am I?
...Since I was 17 and my original birthday was on August 14, and the time that I left my world was around April, adding that with 2 years...
….I will be almost 20 years old, but...I don't feel like a 20 year-old.
And once I get into UA, I will be almost…. 21?!
….That's depressing.
Shaking my head to clear away my thoughts, I turn to lay on my stomach while reaching for my backpack. I turned on Ainiru's phone, and scrolled through social media for a few minutes before news headlines popped up on my phone. Bolting upright on my bed, I stared at my phone with blazing eyes.
Trending Now:
All Might Apprehends Sludge Villain; No Casualties, Mt. Lady Debuts As A New Pro-Hero—
…..WHAT?!
…..THE SLUDGE INCIDENT HAPPENED TODAY!?
...Oh, I hope that Deku did his part! It would be a total mess if he doesn't get One For All!
Immediately I stood up from my bed, forgetting all about my fatigue. After charging my phone beside my drawer, I paced around my room, knowing for certain that the entrance exam for UA was looming in my face 10 months after this day. My hand went to my mouth as my long-habit of biting my nails resurfaced.
Fudgemallow Sticks….. I'm getting so stressed..!
If I don't do well, I'm going to die!
Activated by my nervosity, a saxe-blue butterfly popped out of my chest while flapping its wings restlessly. Seeing the butterfly, I stopped biting my nails.
"Everything's fine, B9." I declared to the butterfly, sighing as it only flapped its wings harder. I went up to Ainiru's dressing table, forcibly smiling in the mirror to reassure the butterfly and myself.
Tiny, flashing circuit-board patterns arched under my eyes and almost to my temples as B9 circled around my head frantically. I studied my reflection in silence.
When I first saw the patterns on my face, I figured out that whenever I turned my quirk on, they appeared on my face instantly. They are like an indicator of my quirk, I guess.
B9 tittered nervously as if it couldn't take my silence any longer, its tinkling words only hearable to my ear. "You always say that everything's fine.…! But everything's not fine!"
Turning away from the mirror, I shrugged my shoulders while lifting my arms in a "What-do-you-want-me-to-do?" gesture. "It's not great to be nervous all the time. Positivity is always the best, B9."
The saxe-blue butterfly huffed, unconvinced. "Sure."
As I started to advance through the areas in my quirk, I had found out that I could talk to my butterflies. It had totally happened by an accident.
"Yeah, you were talking to yourself like a fucking crazy person, while having us out in the opening! You never tried to talk with us before!"
B2, the azure butterfly that represented my anger and impatience, had materialized from my leg as it unfurled its said-azure wings. Instead of calling the butterflies by their different shades of blue, I had decided on calling them by numbers.
When I had puzzled over my quirk, the only thing I could compare my butterflies to was Tokoyami's Dark Shadow.
My butterflies don't have different personalities like Dark Shadow. They all have an aspect of myself and they all think like me, so technically... I'm talking to myself.
And unlike Dark Shadow, my butterflies can be respawned from my body an infinite amount of time, once they are destroyed. They are solid, after al—
"Yeah, remember the time you smashed me to pieces by squashing me with a vase. A fucking vase!"
"Again, I'm sorry, B2! That was only a tryout. I promised you I wouldn't do that again."
"You don't even know how shitty it is to see my own fucking remains after I respawned, you sorry excuse of a human being! I should have come out later, when it had disintegrated."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
"You better fucking not."
I shook my head in amusement. B3, the cerulean butterfly, alighted on my shoulders and tried to comfort me. "Maybe you should practice with us now. It always calms you down."
"...Okay. You three, see what my siblings are doing while I'm training. I'm going to use the other butterflies for practicing. keep watch and tell me immediately if anyone are around my room."
The three butterflies bobbed in the air and zoomed off. As they melted into the walls of my room with a flash of circuit-board patterns and disappeared, I assumed that they flew toward my siblings' rooms to keep watch.
It's awesome that my butterflies are like extensions of my hearing and seeing! They could also send me recordings or videos through our mind link…! If I ever have to spy on someone, it would be a piece of cake!
...I'm guessing that it covers the "information gathering" that computer viruses do.
I bit my lower lip as I tied my hair back into a pony-tail, remembering all the times I had tried to find out all the aspects of my quirk. Finding out each feature through online researching and physically was so hard and time-consuming. But once I was able to talk to my butterflies, I was able to have a grasp on what I could do.
Taking a pen that had run out of ink from my desk, I flung it up in the air with a hand. I took a few steps back as the pen went up in the air and began to fall down.
At the very last second, I activated my glitching and leapt into the air, my body spiraling horizontally in the air. I spun twice before spying my chance. Swinging out my leg backwards while in midair, I made contact with the pen with my foot, kicking it with all my strength.
Glitching: makes me accelerate. I don't know how fast I am, but it makes my impact stronger.
….Computer viruses make computers glitch once infected. Which means that I'm supposed to make other things glitch, not myself.
Maybe because of Otousan? He has the quirk of "glitching" and it makes him faster.
It went shooting across my room with a burst of air. Before it could stab a deep hole inside one of my walls, I somersaulted forward while glitching through the space. Once I stood upright, I thrust out my hand. In a cobalt-colored flash, B8 flew out of my arm and disappeared into the pen.
System destroying: destroys any of the kind of systems inside something or an organism.
Probably because computer viruses slowly start to destroy the systems of computers once they are infected by the viruses.
If the thing or person is small enough, a butterfly would be enough to destroy any of its systems. If not, then I would have to touch certain target points to infect the thing more faster and wholly…!
The pen's mechanical parts flew apart in the air: a spring, an ink cartridge, a metal sphere, a cap. All the parts clattered to the floor as the spring rebounded off the wall and hit my forehead with a painful sting.
Biting back an exclamation of pain, I tugged down my comfortable shirt, which had gone up to my midriff during my somersault. B8 reappeared in a flurry of wings and drifted downward toward me. "I think it's time to use the gym room again, if possible!"
"Let's wait to see if my family is awake by 2 AM then. We can't be caught, especially when the entrance exam is only ten months away…!"
"Ugh, I just wish we could just go right now! I want to break through the records of last time! Tsuiniko and Keitomo are away doing something, Tokisora is at Shiketsu. Onsatoi is away doing his job as a hero sidekick, and only Misen is here. Let's just go now!"
"No, B8. Think things through. Don't just dive into things. They might come back within hours. Plus, Otousan might come in."
"Hmph."
Lapis-lazuli wings fluttered past my eyes as B6 came out to lecture me nerdily. "Remember to try the "de-buffs" on yourself by using us, okay? That's really important 'cause we never tried it on other people before. Oh, and don't go past your limit. You don't want what happened last time."
I nodded furiously at her words, shuddering at the memory of the last "quirk test" I had done. I found out by the hard way that if I used my quirk for too long, or when butterflies got overloaded with too much information, I suffered "computer overheating".
My body temperature went up, I got heat exhaustion, and the first time I suffered from it, it was fortunate that it had been hot earlier that day so I could blame the illness on it when my family members . The horrors were still fresh in my mind.
Fluttering her beryl wings, B5 flitted onto my hand after emerging from my back. Trying to distract me from thinking of my limits, she piped up, "See, we'll be fine if we keep on practicing! We are going to do fine in the entrance exam! I know it."
…..Always optimistic as always, B5!
I wiped the sudden sweat that trickled down my brow, feeling my worry evaporate. It's just ten months, Aera! Ten months! It's not like it's tomorrow!
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9 months later
The sun peeked through the clouds, and shone down faintly through the windows of the hallway Momo and I were in.
"You know Momo, English is easy-peasy for me. So instead, can you help me with Modern History? I still can't remember the Quirk Regulation... whatever number it was, came before the Pro-Hero Substitution Quartering Act or not." Waving my hands animatedly, I stressed out to Momo, who happily suggested that I should come over to her house again on the following Sunday.
As we walked back to our classroom after getting my snacks that I insisted strongly on retrieving to a reluctant Momo, I heard whispers circulating in the hallway that we were in.
"I can't believe Senkito did that to Lee…! I heard that he shoved Lee's face inside a toilet for a full 4 minutes..!" A girl with sharp claws for hands whispered to her equally-eccentric friends, who all shrugged.
"Who cares about Lee..? He must have done something wrong again to incur Senkito's wrath.. Plus, Senkito isn't like that to anyone else." Her friend flipped back her bright fluorescent pink hair over her shoulder, showing the pine branches that grew at her temples.
While walking, I tilted my head in thought.
..That sounds like a typical bullying scenario..?
Wait, a second. Why is..?
Stopping in my tracks, I peered inside the teacher's office through the open door, checking if all the teachers were in their respective boxes. "Ainiru, what's wrong?" Momo asked me, cutting off what she was saying.
Withdrawing my head from the doorway, I slowly shook my head. "Oh, nothing's wrong. Just having a lot of worries."
"If you are having some trouble reviewing the names of pro-heroes, I could give you my notes right now." Momo said brightly as we reached the door
Throwing her an excessive thankful glance, I sniffled and wiped away an imaginary tear. "Thank you! You're a total lifesaver! I'm so glad that you're my best friend!" Sliding open the door, I went on my toes to sling an arm around the taller Momo, before laughing together mirthfully.
As I ran with a spring in my steps toward my desk, which was right next to Momo's, I tried to forget what I had seen. Eh, it can't be anything wrong, right?
Maybe another teacher borrowed it.
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Bright electric lights shone on our metal trays, which was overflowing with delicious, mouth-watering Japanese food. As I sat at my usual table with Momo and a couple of other friends, I hungrily dug into my lunch.
"Ainiru, slow down..! You might choke on the seaweed..! How come you are still hungry after eating through a couple of bags of chips…!" Momo exclaimed concernedly, tutting in wonder. She daintily lifted a spoonful of miso soup and blew on it gently.
I swallowed a mouthful of rice and sautéed seaweed before answering. "It's as if the pro-hero Thirteen is in my stomach these days!" I joked dramatically. Our friends chuckled, and started talking and gossiping about whatever was in our school's rumor mill.
All of my newly made friends were girls, and I had noticed that most of them looked human, except for a few quirky parts of their anatomies. One girl had ribbons for hair, and that was the mildest example.
As I ignored the metallic scrapes that my spoon made when it made contact with the metal tray, I shoveled in rice and other food from side dishes inside my mouth as slowly as possible. During lunch, Ainiru usually ate quietly with Momo and stayed silent….
I winced mentally at the memories of standoffish Ainiru, silently rejecting the efforts that her other classmates had made in trying to include her. Ainiru, you could have just played along even though you didn't like them..! From what I could see, these people are nice!
As I finished all the food on my metal tray in a matter of a few minutes, I rested back in my seat, feeling quite appeased. With Momo gone to attend her mandatory class representatives' meeting, I tried to join in the conversation that my friends were having. They were discussing some hero-celebrity that I had no interest in so I stopped trying.
..It's almost time for the entrance exam. I sipped some of my warm tea, the warmth spreading in my chest and to the tips of my feet. I hesitated as jitteriness came alive in my body, the effect of the reminder.
1 month left. The feeling of doom is real.
Suddenly I felt extreme anxiety, my fingers twitching. I felt hot, the atmosphere rising around me as the pressure rose. Blood thumped in my fingers, who slowly turned swollen and purple, with my palms pale. I stared down at my lap.
….Panic. I'm about to panic right now.
I need to get some fresh air. Now.
But I can't go outside.
An idea came to me in an instant.
….Should I go to the roof?
I mean, I know the password. I overheard two teachers' whispering to each other about it while walking past them in the hallway.
As forbidden as it is, I could still take a breather out there….!
"You guys," I stood up and took my tray into my hands. "I'm going to go somewhere, okay?"
My clueless friends responded with a beaming nod, and turned back to discussing what kind of lip tint color that Uwabami, the stunning pro-heroine with the snakes, had slathered her lips with in her latest modelling gig.
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Arriving panting from the staircase, I stepped toward the door that was before me. The door, outlined in red, was the only way to the roof and was definitely off-limits to students.
The door knob had a techy keypad, with a secondary keyhole beneath it. After listening carefully for a few minutes if a teacher or student was close by, I went toward the key pad and lifted its cover. Glowing numbers met my view and I puzzled over what I heard from two teachers while walking past them.
Let's see, what were the numbers again..?
...10, 17, 23? No, no..
The last digit was 24, I think it was that… !
My hand hesitantly began to press the numbers in, the keypad beeping with tiny green lights with each number that I mentally said in my head. The keypad rang a cheerful ka-ching, and I tentatively shut the cover down and turned the door knob.
As I swung open the door, a strong chilly breeze swept past me as my eyes met the hazy blue sky. The cold of January permeated through my uniform but I welcomed it, feeling my nervousness die away.
An elevated view of the surrounding buildings was all around me. Ignoring the benches, I walked to the mid-waist stone barriers of the roof, taking a huge intake of fresh air.
I felt my worries fade away as the coldness slapped some sense into me. I folded my arms on top of the stone barrier. Feeling at peace, I let my butterflies come out and flutter around as they wished.
But I only got a few minutes of peace and quiet however, and as I was doing a few stretches while easing into relaxation, B2 zoomed over to me and hissed, "Someone's coming!"
"Fudgemallow Sticks!" Using my quirk even though I had promised myself that I would only use it in emergencies, I dove with a glitch behind the bench that was right next to the door, and therefore made myself un-seeable by the approaching person.
Crouching down, I closed my eyes and threaded my fingers through my hair tightly while freaking out.
Shoot, I should have never, ever, come up here! Now a teacher's coming up, and I'm going to get in trouble!
...Then they are going to change the password, and I'm never going to enjoy going on the roof other than this time!
I heard footsteps; fast, light ones stampeding up the stairs. After a few seconds, I heard a key scraping inside the doorknob.
The door burst open. I froze in my crouched position. I didn't dare breathe.
I totally expected a teacher to come out, but instead a lanky, thin guy with pale green hair ran out. I only saw his back but not his face.
The northern wind whistled past my ears as I watched the guy approach the stone barrier. I breathed a silent sigh of relief. Thank goodness that it's just a student!
….Wait a second, why does he have… duct-tape wrapped around his hands?
And why is he… climbing over… that?!
I stared at the guy, who had climbed over the stone wall and was leaning his back on it while standing on the roof's outside ledge. If he took a misstep, I knew for certain that he would fall from the roof.
Why in the HECK is he doing that?! That's freaking DANGEROUS! Is he some kind of daredevil!?
Inspecting him like a sharp eagle, I saw the boy shiver in the cold and lower his head.
"...Fuck, I'm scared." He mumbled out. His words were weirdly cramped together, as if he had something over his mouth. I craned my ears, trying to hear clearly what he was trying to do over the howling wind.
...Then why the heck are you standing out there!
"Fuck you, Iromidaru. Akisakura. All the way to hell."
Eh? Who are they? Did I hear correctly?
Who the heck is Iromidaru and Akisakura? Who is this guy?!
"….You two won. I'll be gone. What you two wanted from the start." He placed his trembling hands on each side of him on the cement wall.
I gazed at him in total confusion, then suddenly, all the pieces clicked into place, as I finally pieced together what he was trying to do.
….He's planning to jump..!
Stop him! Now!
Extremely alarmed, I immediately sprang out of my hiding place and raced toward him. Using my fastest speed, I glitched over and wrapped my arms around the guy within seconds.
Tightening my arms with all my strength, I locked my hands around his bony frame. "Don't jump. Please don't jump…!"
I felt the boy freeze. His knees buckled, and I found myself supporting his weight with my strength, helped by the stone barrier that he was half-leaning on. His body shook, and it took me a couple seconds to realize that he was been crying.
...What do I do?! He's freaking crying! ...What should I say?!
Desperate, my mouth immediately began to talk about anything that came into my mind.
"...I'm sorry, okay? For whoever treated you badly, I wish that they never treated you like that. I know that you were going through a freaking bad time and no one noticed, but still, you have to live. You don't think about your family? Or your friends? ..You can't just leave them behind." I rattled on, my voice growing shakier by the seconds.
….What am I saying?
I did. I left my family and friends behind.
...Hypocrite. A voice coldly whispered in my mind. I shook my head. But it wasn't my choice!
It wasn't my choice to get shot!
"...I don't have… any family. They… all left." I barely heard the muffled guy's voice, but I continued on.
"Then… any of your friends?" I heard silence but I moved on.
"Look, if you just get behind the wall and on the roof, I promise you that I would hear you out. Just please get behind the stone wall..!"
I had no response. He was still shaking, and I could still feel his chest shuddering for air. He made no move to get off the ledge he was standing on.
"...Okay. If we are going to stand out here forever until you stop trying to jump, then sure, we will. But listen to me." I felt his tears drip onto my hands but I ignored the sensation.
"...I know that you don't want to jump. You want to live. Like you, everyone wants to live. Everyone does. It's inside every human out there. I know that you will regret it...You don't want to die. Trust... me." I swallowed back a lump of emotions in my throat that had formed as I said the last two parts of my words.
…Again. What am I saying?
...I don't even know if I died or not…!
I've thought about it all this time while being in this world…!
"...And if you jump, it would traumatize me. Forever, because I care about you, even though we are almost like strangers, and the fact that I failed to stop another person from taking their own freaking life! I promise that I will be here for you from now on, whenever you need me! Anywhere, anytime, you can call me, I don't care! So please, please, get behind the stone wall...! If you can't do it for anyone else… please do it for my sake..." I gasped out, tears forming in my eyes.
A few moments passed as my words died in my throat. I swallowed, having nothing more to say while hoping that my words were enough.
Now it was a battle of who would stake out more longer. I pressed my lips together, hardening my resolve. I am not going to let a person die! Not on my watch!
Finally after what felt like eternity as I watched the boy warily, I saw his head jarringly nodded. "...Alright. I… I'll get down."
..!
Fudgemallow sticks, I thought that he would never get down! Thank goodness!
I breathed in total relief, my breath releasing white vapors in the frigid air. As if sensing my immense solace, my butterflies re-appeared and fluttered lightly in a scope around us. I hesitantly loosened my arms as the guy pulled against them gently with his hands and turned around.
With my purple-red hair strands flying in the cold wind, I stared back at him, speechless.
Because I had recognized him from a memory, a memory that was considered insignificant in Ainiru's mind.
As the memory glanced before my eyes like a paintbrush casually sweeping paint across a canvas, I reeled back with surprise.
So did the guy, his eyes widening as he recognized me also. As I watched in slow motion, he took a step backward in the air... and fell off the roof's ledge.
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3 ½ years ago
My heeled feet echoed on the marble floor of my school. I strolled down the hallway, lost in my thoughts.
" Yukimisaka!" With a slight narrowing of my eyes, I recognized the voice. It was Iromidaru-senpai, an upperclassman a year older than me.
Iromidaru's gang of boys whispered to each other, and one guy punched the other with a fist of rock playfully. "-That's Yukimisaka, right? That girl in first year?"
"-Of course, you idiot! She's one of the prettiest girls in our school..! Right after Yaororozu..!"
I turned to Iromidaru slowly, my face coolly disinterested. "...Hello, Iromidaru-senpai."
"I haven't seen you a lot these days in school." Iromidaru said while laughing, scratching his neck nervously with a hand. As he was speaking, I was thinking about what I was going to do at the ice rink on one track of my mind.
My face tightened, but I covertly covered it with another layer of indifference. I answered, realizing that he was waiting for me to answer. "...Our floors are different, Senpai."
Noticing that the sun was on my face, I angled myself away from it, hoping that dots wouldn't form and mar my face. As I did so, my eyes flickered toward a guy that was lying collapsed on the floor, crossing his arms protectively to shield his chest. I couldn't see him before because Iromidaru's gang had blocked him from my view.
He lifted his head to look at me, his unkempt celadon-green hair flopping aside to reveal a thick sheen of sweat on his forehead. His cheek was bruised. His mouth was smeared with blood. As our eyes met, his light gray eyes flickered with shuttered hope.
Who is he?
Ah... Is he the guy that always get bullied?
I think Momo was worrying about him to me mainly because he was one of the most notorious social pariahs.
While looking straight into my eyes, it seemed like he was pleading with me silently to interject with a concerned remark to stop his beating. I passively studied him for a few seconds in clinical detachment.
...It's not my business to interfere. The bullying will still continue anyway.
I returned to look at Iromidaru as he began to speak again. Quietly, I interrupted him. "I am very sorry but I have to go to my classroom, Iromidaru-senpai. Maybe we can talk next time."
I bowed my head slightly forward. "Now, if you will excuse me." Listening to my words, the green-haired boy looked down on the floor in defeat.
I turned my back and continued to walk to my classroom. As I neared the exit of the hallway, I heard a muffled cry from the boy as a thump resounded.
As I crossed the doorway of the hallway I was in, I ignored the battering sounds while willing myself to think about something else.
.
.
"No!" I yelled. Horrified, I reached my hand over the stone boundary in order to grab his hand.
Our fingers briefly touched, but his hand slipped through mine. I hanged from the stone wall, but it was too late.
With absolute fear in his eyes, the boy fell from the roof. As he fell, the gray duct tape wrapped around his hands tore away all of a sudden, revealing dark metallic pieces that covered his wrists and finger joints.
As I watched in shock, the metallic pieces detached themselves from his hands and flew into the air, with sinewy bone-white 'tendons' attached to them. With a desperate swing of his arm, the boy had the metallic pieces latch on to the edges of the cement wall. I gawked in awe.
They must be like magnets!
With a swing of air, the pale green-haired boy pulled himself back up above the cement boundary, with his 'tendons' retracting back into his fingers' joints. He went over the boundary, his body flying in the air. My widened eyes looked down as his foot caught on the wall…
...And fell on top of me.
"OW!" I yelled as my head slammed down on the floor. The boy had accidentally whacked me in the face with his elbow as he squashed the air out of me with his body weight.
Cursing under my breath, I gently pushed him off me, then gasped, horrified as the boy held his bloody nose with a hand as he sat up.
I stood up and hovered over him, all frazzled. "Oh my gosh, did you smash your nose on the floor?! Is it broken?! Is it sprained?!"
"No," He gruffly spoke, his voice brusque as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. "It's just bruised."
"Oh, thank goodness…!" Relieved, I held out my hand tentatively and he took it after a pause, standing up on his wobbly legs.
There was an awkward pause. The guy avoided my gaze while tearing off the duct tape that was on the lower part of his face. Two metallic pieces were on his face, right where his jaw's joints were. I swallowed nervously as I shifted my weight to my other leg. Slowly rubbing my hands together for warmth, I said, "What's.. your name? Can you mind… telling me why you're here?"
Who knows if his reason is something other than bullying?
"...Minho. Minho Lee." Looking away from me, he stared down inexpressively at the emerald green floor, as I made an instinctive movement toward him, thinking that he was going to make another jump off the roof. As I stood still, I thanked that the fact that he wasn't looking at me.
I began to speak, anything that would fill the emptiness between us. "Look... Minho… I know that what you are going through is... really unbearable."
He reminds of the times my classmates mocked me for not having a dad in grade school, even though it was less harsher than his experience.
"But please, don't stop living. Life offers more than that. I know that you are enduring the harshness right now, but please have hope. Life will get better." I had a feeling that my words weren't heard by him and were considered meaningless. I rubbed my forehead in worry, fiercely pondering on what to say.
Who can blame him for ignoring my words?! He went through hell for these last three years of school!
What should I do?! Should I keep on blabbering.. or keep on talking?!
Not knowing what to do, I looked up at Minho again and saw tears brimming in his eyes. As he realized that I was watching him, he turned away silently.
?!
Compassion flooded inside me, along with a foreign sense of guilt and regret. Without a second to waste, my arms went up to hug him. I drew his back closer, even though he was more ganglier than me and his sharp elbows poked my arms. I tried to squish down the extreme sense of awkwardness.
He needs this.
Even though we only know each other by name, I feel like I should do this. He probably didn't feel a hug in a very long time, since... he has no family members.
Remembering what had happened in Ainiru's memory, I held back tears. My voice raw and hoarse, I said,"..Back in our first year.. I'm really sorry that I didn't interfere. I should have. Before it became like this."
...I wasn't even here back then! That incident was in the first term of Ainiru's first year at this school! I arrived when the second term started!
But still.. I feel like Ainiru would feel remorse, no matter how disinterested she acts.
Minho heaved a quavery breath. "It's.. not your fault. Everyone acts like... that anyway. It's my fault..."
I raised my head while still wrapping my arms around him. "What do you mean? That's bullshit! It's their fault for doing that to you! Unless if you have done those things to them..."
"...I didn't. I would never..." He took a pause as if the idea was too painful, "Do that to them. Even though they deserve it."
There was quietness after his statement.
"...Can I do anything about it?" I asked, hoping that I would be able to help. I formed my words carefully, feeling like he wouldn't like my pity.
"No."
I persisted on. "Yes, I can! I can just tell my uncle-" Even though I detest my uncle, I'm still willing to try. Multiple times.
"Bullshit." Taking a pause, he spoke again a few seconds later. "You didn't help me before. Why should I believe you now?"
I sighed despondently while relinquishing my hold around him. Because I am not Ainiru! I'm another person!
He.. doesn't want my help. But still, I don't want him to commit suicide when no one's there to stop him!
My shoulders sagged. I wish that I would be able to do something! At least something.. to help him live.
I don't want the people I know to die when.. I knew that I could save them!
"Okay.. I understand. But.. I want you to know something..." I stumbled over my words, feeling embarrassment flushing my face.
"Since you don't want me to do anything about it... At least listen to me about this. I think it would be more bearable if you find something... that makes you want to live another.. day…" I cringed at my choice of words. "I don't know. Something that makes you… look forward to something in the future?" Squeaking out the last part of my sentence, my face burned as Minho stared at me in confusion.
"You know what? Forget what I said." I looked down as hoping that the floor would swallow me whole.
Suddenly the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. We both jumped.
"I know that... I might sound so blunt, but what are you going to do now?" I blurted out urgently as I turned him around gently. Even though my grip was loose, he flinched violently. I awkwardly removed my grasp on his arm. "Sorry.."
"Once we go down from this roof, I'm scared that you're going to try again.. and next time, I might not be there to help you!"
"You don't need to help me. I.. won't. I won't try again. I realized it... when I fell."
Feeling hurried by the bell, I insisted heavily, not believing what he had said. "Did you remember what I said? I promised that I will be here for you from now on! I'm going to stick to you like glue." While taking out a pen hooked on my sleeve, I yanked his hand forward and jotted down my phone number on his forearm.
"Whenever you feel like doing what you were trying to do a few minutes ago, call me. Okay? You have to. Or else I'm going to find out your phone number and call you everyday. Please, please just talk to me or call whenever you need someone to vent. Anytime, Anywhere. If you call me at 3 AM, I don't care." Taking his other hand, I held both of this hands tightly while I pleaded. Making sure to let him know how I strongly felt about his existence, I gripped his bony hands and gave him a piercing stare. "Promise you that you wouldn't do it again."
"...Okay. I promise." He withdrew his hands from mine as he shirked away from me stiffly.
There was a unpleasant lull in our conversation. Feeling very antsy about being late, I broke out my burning question first.
"Well, are you... going to go to class or not?"
Minho shoved in his hands in the pockets of his uniform, looking uneasy.
I smiled gently. "Just.. Just hang on until you're twenty. Just like me. Please. Now, come on. Gentlemen' first..!" With a theatrical flourish of my arms, I gestured for him to walk before me, trying to lighten up the mood. Throwing me a deadpan look, he shook his head as he began to walk languidly back to the roof's door.
I followed him, grinning in total relief. He might still jump off the roof!
Angling my body to cover the keypad from Minho, I punched in the password and swung the door open. As the door clanged shut, I went down the stairs with him, side by side. Mainly because I was afraid that he might throw himself over the rail and down the stairs, but I was afraid of offending him.
As we both landed on our floor, I was about to rush to my classroom with a 'bye', trying to blend with the kids, but he stopped me with his unexpected question.
"What did you mean.. by waiting until you also become 20?" Holding back a grimace, I faced Minho again and smirked. "Well, you're not the only one who wishes that some people would just fuck off."
My skirt flaring in the air with my movement, I then spun around to run toward my class. Suddenly remembering something, I screeched to a halt. Oh right, the roof key! I forgot that he still has it!
Pivoting on my heel, I stormed back to him again and held out my hand. "Give me the key. I don't want you to make another visit later."
Giving me a prickly look, he slowly reached into his pants' pockets and gave over the key to me after a pause. Grinning at him victoriously, I jingled it in his face and pocketed it. "I will be keeping this until we graduate two months later! Now bye, and please remember what you promised me..!"
As I turned to look forward, I felt his gaze on me all the way until I ducked out of his sight at the hallway's end and marched toward my class with determination.
Nervousness was all forgotten.
.
.
Day of the Entrance Exam
With the sky wintery blue and the sun faintly shining, it was just like any day in February. The wind swirled around me as I stood stick-straight, petrified.
I closed my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time and opened them again, only to see two twin buildings, covered in thousands of glass panels.
Tall security walls encompassed the school except for the entrance, its gates swung wide open to welcome the exam takers. I craned my head backwards to see two gold letters, U and A, that were forged from metal. Everyone knew these two letters because they stood for one of the most prestigious hero schools in the country.
But for me, and me only... it also stood for a fictional place. An imaginary school. A building drawn on paper, that I certainly wasn't supposed to be standing in front of.
Ha. Not like any day.
...Not like any day when you find yourself literally staring up at freaking UA!
The day was finally here. After almost three years of stressing, training, panicking, and nail biting, it was time to see if my blood, sweat, and tears had paid off.
I feel like I'm about to die right now. From nervousness, panic, stress. All negativity bunched up into one…!
Gripping on the edges of my sleeves, I swallowed while feeling as if all of the blood in my body got drained. All the strength in my legs dissolved and I squatted down. I covered my mouth with my hands and silently screamed.
I felt the walking bystanders look down at me. But I ignored them.
….Come on, Aera.
Come on, let's go.
Releasing my hands from my face, I stared at the ground while holding back strong waves of emotion.
…...I'm scared.
I'm so scared that I might just stand there frozen to the spot, and not get points at all..!
...There's a strong possibility that I might not get in. All of these people, if they don't get into UA…they will just be disappointed and go on with their lives! All they are hoping for is a job, respected and wanted by billions of people!
But me?
I die if I don't get in!
A persistent voice snarled inside my head. Well, if your life depends on it, won't you have something worth more to fight for?!
Yeah.
...Yeah, I do.
I exhaled shakily, and stood up on trembling legs. Forcing my legs to be strong, I slowly strode inside the doors of the school that I promised myself from the start that I was going to get accepted into.
.
.
A/N:
When I was planning how to write Aera's entrance, I had a lot of doubts if I would be able to do it. It's like if there's this part of me that keeps on being disappointed with each chapter. Even though all of me is so excited about writing this, that disappointed part just ruins it. It seems like I myself am not proud with each chapter and the constant perfectionism provides the thought that I need to work harder. I wish that I don't need other people's validation that my writing is good and my fanfiction is fun but I'm human, and I know that everyone else also wishes that.
I think comparison is the most harmful to self-esteem and confidence. When I was scrolling through fanfictions the other day and was reading other books, I kept on comparing my writing and plots to others. It just made my reading experience just fall so I just stopped reading and wrote. Not matter how my writing is bad, I do see some improvement which I am happy for.
I do have a vision in mind for the plot, but I'm afraid that my abilities would fall short in writing it down, my motivation would dry out, and that I wouldn't have time to write this.
Thanks to: Raptor, The Blue Amethyst, and Renzin for following!
Now please, review! Please! I really wish that someone who is reading this would just spew their thoughts about this fanfiction in a review... The more longer the better! I need the reviews to keep my motivation alive!
Please also review how well I portrayed the canon characters! I really need this feedback a lot so I could learn and I wish to know your thoughts on the plot and on the main character, Aera! ~ ^^