Yuri's eyes fluttered open, the sound of mechanical beeping reached his ears, and he instantly knew where he was. He was too exhausted to raise his head from the pillow. Instead, he allowed his head to fall to the side, noticing the figure on the chair beside him.
Victor sat silently with his head in his hands, tears visible in his blue eyes.
"Victor?"The older man was instantly on his feet, carefully wrapping his arms around Yuri.
"I was so worried. How are you feeling?"Victor inquired.
"Baby-" Yuri mumbled weakly. Victor kissed his head.
"We're worried about you right now. The doctor should be here soon. We're waiting for the results of your tests. She wants you to stay for a couple of days to keep an eye on you. I'll be right here with you, I promise."
I'm so cold," Yuri said quietly. The silver-haired man stood, making his way back to the recliner, removing the blanket and placing it over Yuri.
"Better?" Victor asked gently. Yuri nodded. "you've been asleep for a little while. Can you take some ice chips?" Yuri hesitated, finding it hard to meet his lover's gaze.
"Please try. The doctor says the ice chips will be easier for you. I don't want you getting too dehydrated. Please, Yuri? For our little one?"The older man pleaded.
Yuri accepted after another moment, much to Victor's relief. He stroked Yuri's hair lovingly.
"Rest now. Everything's-"
"I feel...weird," Yuri admitted, watching the older man place the cup on the table. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even home long, and I'm right back where I started. I'm too weak to-"
"You always doubt yourself, and it turns out fine in the end. The important thing is for you to get better ." Victor turned toward the door at the sound of a soft knock. The doctor made her way over to the bed.
"How are you feeling, Yuri?" She asked gently.
"The baby, i-is the baby okay?"Yuri asked with concern.
"So far, we haven't noticed any immediate dangers concerning your child. Under the circumstances, things can change quickly. I'm sorry to have to tell you that. Your body is still losing more of what it needs faster than it can replace it. You're anemic, and your blood pressure's low. You need to understand that mothers who experience anemia during pregnancy are more likely to run into the problem during or shortly after delivery. It can also complicate the process. But like I said, you have some options." She assured.
"I can keep you on the IV nutrition, or we can try a feeding tube. I know that sounds uncomfortable. I won't lie to you it is. But something needs to change. At this stage, there is one more thing you can consider. I know you don't want to hear this. At some point, it may be too much for Yuri to continue to carry the baby. Some parents choose to terminate the pregnancy." Victor's heart dropped. Yuri placed his hands on his belly protectively.
"No. I won't let it get to that," Yuri said. "I made a promise to my little one. Do you think the feeding tube would work?"
"It does have a good success rate. It'll take some getting used to, but it's an option. It'll go through your nose and into your stomach. It would greatly reduce the vomiting. You'll still be getting the vitamins and nutrients you need. The problem with the IV feedings is that they'll only get you so far. It's good for short-term use and letting your stomach rest. Eventually, You'll still need to try to take something on your own. I don't mean to scare you guys with any of this, but it's my job to give you all the information. It doesn't mean it's definitely going to happen, but it is a possibility."
"We understand. "Yuri said sadly. The doctor patted his shoulder.
"Get as much rest as you can. If you need anything, let us know. I'll stop in a little later." She said, exiting the room. Victor and Yuri sat in silence. It has been a while since Yuri saw the lost look in Victor's eyes.
The younger man lightly touched Victor's hand, causing him to turn and face him.
"Yuri-" He began. "I want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you with all my heart. If this is too much for you, I can't ask you to do something like this, especially when it made you this sick, if you feel like you can't-"
"Come here."Yuri invited tenderly. The older man leaned down, resting his head on Yuri's chest, feeling his lover's arms around him. "We'll be okay. "He soothed, wiping away the tears from Victor's blue eyes. The silver-haired man drew in a shuddered breath. "I've given up on a lot of things, but our family isn't going to be one of them. We've gotten this far. We'll get through it. If that means a feeding tube, that's what I'll do. Who knows, maybe I'll start feeling better. The doctor said it could go on the whole nine months, but that doesn't mean it will, right?"
"I guess it could get better before then, but if it doesn't-"Victor began.
"If it doesn't, it's only seven more months, almost six. It'll feel like forever, but it'll be worth it. The little one is already precious to me, Victor, and I know you feel that way too, so I don't mind." Victor raised his head, kissing Yuri's forehead lightly.
"Already such a wonderful mother." He praised. "Are you sure you can-"
"I'm sure. I'm sorry I keep worrying you like this."
"I worry because I love you," Victor said. "Is there anything I can do to make you comfortable or-"
"Will you lie down with me for a little while?"Yuri requested. Victor walked to the other side of the bed, kicking off his shoes and pulling himself onto the bed. Yuri moved closer, resting his head on Victor. He closed his eyes.
"It feels better when you're here, just like this," Yuri said. The silver-haired man used his free hand to caress Yuri's belly. Yuri smiled.
"Get some sleep. You'll both need it. I'm not going anyway." Yuri needed no further encouragement, snuggling into Victor and drifting off almost immediately.
When the doctor returned later that evening, Victor still held his future husband and was busy scrolling through his phone with a heavy sigh.
'"Victor?" She called softly. The man glanced over and upon seeing the woman approaching the bed, he placed the phone in his pocket and greeted her with a sad smile.
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." She said.
No. I was just looking for...something to help Yuri through this."Victor replied. The doctor nodded, lowering herself onto the chair.
"I just wanted to stop in before my shift ends and see how you two are doing."
"Yuri's been asleep almost the whole time. He took a little water the last time he was awake, but he went right back to sleep." He explained.
"That'll happen until we get him straightened out. Pregnancy is difficult and tiring on its own, but when you throw the anemia and hg into the mix, it worsens the fatigue. You can expect him to feel weaker than he has been for the next couple of days. How are you hold up with all of this? I can see that it's hard on you too. Victor sighed once more, glancing over at Yuri.
"I'm scared for him." He admitted. "He wants to do this, and I'm grateful to him for that. I believe he can, but there's a part of me that's afraid for him. I've never seen him this sick before. I try not to let him know because I want him to focus on his health and looking after the baby. I want to fix this for him, but I kind of feel lost. I can't get him to eat or drink much. I've tried different foods, He really tries, but we never seem to get anywhere. All I can do is lay here and hold him. I feel useless."
"It's easy to feel that way when you're not sure what to do." The doctor said. "But you're not. You're doing an amazing job of supporting and comforting Yuri. Some people choose to walk away when they don't know what else to do or out of frustration. You're doing everything you can."
"It doesn't feel like it. Knowing I did this, I mean, my child is causing him so much suffering. I don't actually blame the baby. What I mean is I'm responsible for what's happening."
"Blaming yourself for something like this won't do you any good. There's no way to know beforehand that something like this is going to happen. There are factors, mostly family history. It's so easy for a partner to get caught up in guilt when the other is sick, but I think it's important to try to understand Yuri's perspective. I saw how hard it was for the two of you to hear what I had to say earlier, and You should know that your health is just as relevant as Yuri and the baby's. If you need anything, please let me know. In the meantime, I've done some digging, and I have a few resources for you. I can't make any promises, but I can go over them with you in the morning when Yuri's awake. "She offered the sheet of paper to Victor. He took the object gratefully.
"Thank you. We would both appreciate that. You've been doing so much for us." The woman smiled.
"Part of the job. Do you need anything before I go? Have you eaten anything at all, I can ask the nurse to bring something in. Conni will be here tonight."
"I'm good, thank you. Yuri's mom will be here soon, she offered to bring me something, so I didn't have to leave him."
"Good. It's wonderful to look after Yuri, but don't forget to care for yourself too. I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get some rest."
"I can't make promises," Victor replied. She exited the room, leaving the man to finish his search and skim over the paper.